Family Matters

COPYRIGHT © 2015 BY 

NORTHVIEW CHURCH, CARMEL, IN 46060 

ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 

PUBLISHED BY 

COPYRIGHT AND USE OF THE CURRICULUM TEMPLATE IS 

RETAINED BY BRETT EASTMAN. 

UNLESS OTHERWISE NOTED, ALL SCRIPTURE QUOTES 

ARE TAKEN FROM THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL 

VERSION®. COPYRIGHT 1973, 1978, 1984 AND 2011 

BY BIBLICA, INC.® USED BY PERMISSION. ALL RIGHTS 

RESERVED WORLDWIDE. 

ISBN 

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

INTRODUCTION 1 

USING THIS WORKBOOK (READ THIS FIRST) 2 

OUTLINE OF EACH SESSION 4 

TIPS ON HOSTING A NEW GROUP 8 

Contents 

Session One: 12 

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 

Session Two: 32 

PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED • PART ONE 

Session Three: 52 

PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED • PART TWO 

Session Four: 72 

PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED • PART THREE 

Session Five: 90 

SINGLED OUT 

Session Six: 110 

WE ARE FAMILY 

APPENDICES 

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 132 

LIFE GROUP GROUND RULES 137 

MEMORY VERSE CARDS (CLIP AND REVIEW) 139 

PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT 141 

LIFE GROUP ROSTER 142 

NOTES 143

Introduction 

Watch a television show, catch a movie, 

or read a novel—chances are there will 

be a romantic relationship as part of the 

story. 

We are hardwired for relationships; 

from the days of Adam and Eve, God 

created us with a longing for a partner 

to enjoy life with, and, for most of us, 

eventually “settle down” to get married 

and have children. 

However, some people 

stay single their entire 

lives. Others marry but 

don’t have kids. Our 

stories and our circumstances 

are all unique, 

but there are biblical 

principles that apply to 

each one of us. Whether 

you’re single or married, divorced or 

widowed, with a house full of kids or an 

empty-nester, you are created in the 

image of a God who longs for relationship 

with you and wants you to build 

strong relationships with other people. 

In this study, we’ll start learning how to 

do relationships God’s way. 

TURN ON THE RADIO TO ANY 

STATION WITH POPULAR 

MUSIC, AND YOU’RE 

PROBABLY GOING TO HEAR 

A LOVE SONG. 

Introduction 

1

UsingThis 

Workbook 

TOOLS TO HELP YOU HAVE 

A GREAT LIFE GROUP EXPERIENCE! 

1. Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: 

(1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) Life Group Leaders. 

Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them 

will be used in the sessions themselves. 

2. If you are facilitating/hosting a Life Group, the section 

Life Group Leaders will give you some hard-learned 

experiences of others that will encourage you and help 

you avoid many common obstacles to effective Life Group 

leadership. 

3. Use this workbook as a guide, not a straightjacket. If the 

group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest 

way, go with that. If you think of a better question than 

the next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights 

included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the 

Life Group Leaders section. 

4. Enjoy your Life Group experience. 

5. Pray before each session—for your group members, for 

your time together, and wisdom and insights. 

6. Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages so 

that you understand how the sessions will flow. 

2 Family Matters 

Using this Workbook 3

OUTLINE 

OF 

EACH 

SESSION 

A TYPICAL GROUP 

SESSION FOR THE FAMILY 

MATTERS STUDY WILL 

INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING 

SECTIONS. READ 

THROUGH THIS TO GET 

A CLEAR IDEA OF HOW 

EACH GROUP MEETING 

WILL BE STRUCTURED. 

INTRODUCTION. 

Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare 

for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject 

you will explore with your group. Make it a practice to read these 

before the session. 

SHARE YOUR STORY. 

The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection 

with God and His family. You build that connection by sharing 

your story with a few people who really know you and who earn 

your trust. This section includes some simple questions to get you 

talking—letting you share as much or as little of your story as you 

feel comfortable doing. Each session typically offers you two or 

three options for participants to answer. Going around the circle 

and having everyone choose one question to answer is a great 

way to get people engaged. Ideally, everyone will not share for 

more than a few minutes. 

HEAR GOD’S STORY. 

In this section, you’ll read the Bible 

and listen to teaching, in order to 

hear God’s story—and begin to see 

how His story aligns with yours. 

You won’t focus on accumulating 

information but on how you should 

live in light of the Word of God. We 

want to help you apply the insights 

from Scripture practically and 

creatively, from your heart as well 

as your head. At the end of the day, 

allowing the timeless truths from 

God’s Word to transform our lives 

in Christ should be your greatest 

aim. 

CREATE A NEW STORY. 

When the study directs you, pop 

in the DVD and watch a short 

teaching segment. You’ll then have 

an opportunity discuss. God wants 

you to be a part of His Kingdom—to 

weave your story into His. That will 

mean change. It will require you to 

go His way rather than your own. 

This won’t happen overnight, but it 

should happen steadily. By making 

small, simple choices, we can begin 

to change our direction. This is 

where the Bible’s instructions to “be 

doers of the Word, not just hearers” 

(James 1:22) come into play. Many 

people skip over this aspect of the 



Christian life because it’s scary, relationally awkward, or simply 

too much work for their busy schedules. But Jesus wanted all of 

His disciples to know Him personally, carry out His commands, 

and help outsiders connect with Him. This doesn’t necessarily 

mean preaching on street corners. It could mean welcoming 

newcomers, hosting a short-term group in your home, or walking 

through this study with a friend. In this study, you’ll have an 

opportunity to go beyond Bible Study to biblical living. This 

section will also have a question or two that will challenge you 

to live out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, and 

worshiping God. 

S T U DY N OTE S . 

This brief section provides additional commentary, background 

or insights on the passage you’ll study in the Hear God’s Story 

section. If you are looking for more detail, use one of the many 

free apps or websites to find additional study notes online. 

FOR ADDITIONAL STUDY. 

If you have time and want to dig deeper into more Bible passages 

about the topic at hand, we’ve provided additional passages and 

questions. Your group may choose to read and prepare ahead of 

each meeting in order to cover more biblical material. If you prefer 

not to do study homework, this section will provide you with plenty 

to discuss within the group. These options allow individuals or the 

whole group to expand their study while still accommodating those 

who can’t do homework or are new to your group. 

DAILY DEVOTIONS. 

Each week begins with a memory verse. On the Daily Devotions 

pages we provide scriptures to read and reflect on between 

sessions—a month’s worth of reflections to keep God’s Word near 

your heart. This provides you with a chance to slow down, read just 

a small portion of Scripture each day, and reflect and pray through 

it. You’ll then have a chance to journal your response to what 

you’ve read. Use this section to seek God on your own throughout 

the week. This time at home should begin and end with prayer. 

Don’t get in a hurry; take enough time to hear God’s direction. 



Tips on 

Hosting a 

New Group 

Take a look at the Circles of Life diagram below and write the 

names of two or three people you know—especially people who 

do not know Christ . Commit to praying for God’s guidance and 

an opportunity to invite each of them. 

FIRST: GATHER A GROUP 

MOST EVERYONE YOU KNOW WANTS TO HAVE 

A GREAT FAMILY. FAMILY MATTERS IS A GREAT 

OPPORTUNITY TO INVITE YOUR FRIENDS, FAMILY, 

COWORKERS, AND NEIGHBORS TO DO A SIX-WEEK 

BIBLE STUDY WITH YOU IN YOUR HOME. THE TOPICS 

OF MARRIAGE, PARENTING, GRAND PARENTING, 

SINGLENESS AND BELONGING ARE TOPICS THAT ARE 

RELEVANT AND WILL RESONATE WITH MOST ANYONE 

YOU MIGHT INVITE. 

If your group starts with just a few people, that is alright. Include the 

group in this process of inviting people. The ideal Life Group size is 

between 10 and 14 adults, but it is fine to start smaller and grow. 


Tips on Hosting a New Group 9

FOR YOUR 

FIRST 

MEETING 

HERE ARE SOME TIPS 

FOR YOUR FIRST 

MEETING TOGETHER 

AS A LIFE GROUP: 

• POUR ON THE HOSPITALITY. 

Keep in mind that for many people the thought of going 

to someone’s house to have a “spiritual conversation” is 

very intimidating. It can trigger all kinds of insecurities. So, 

even little things, from your email communication to the 

way you greet them at the door, will go along way toward 

easing their fears. 

• HAVE NAMETAGS. 

If the group does not know each other, nametags are a 

great way to accelerate connection within the group. 

• START THE MEETING WITH INTRODUCTIONS. 

Go around the circle and have everyone introduce 

themselves. A good introductory tool is to have everyone 

use the acronym FORD to introduce themselves. FORD 

stands for telling a little bit about Family, Occupation, 

Recreation, and Dreams. 

• USE THE LIFE GROUP GROUND RULES 

The key to getting off on the right foot is to appropriately 

discuss and set expectations. Start the study by reading 

through the Life Group ground rules on page 137. 


Tips on Hosting a New Group 11

Just because you say something, 

doesn’t mean the other 

person will hear it—or 

that they’ll understand it. 

And just because you think 

a certain decision is best 

doesn’t mean the other person 

will—which means you 

have to talk about it. 

HAPPILY EVER AFTER 

Relationships 

are difficult, but 

they’re worth it! ...YOU HAVE TO 

God is relational 

and he created us 

TALK ABOUT IT. 

in his image. We 

are designed to 

do life with other 

people, and for many of us 

that includes marriage. But 

just because these relationships 

are part of God’s plan 

doesn’t mean they’ll always 

be easy. We’ll look at two big 

areas where many couples 

struggle: communication and 

compromise. 

12 Session One 

Happily Ever After 

13

Share 

Your 

Story 

EACH OF US HAS A 

STORY. WHEN WE 

SHARE OUR STORIES 

WITH OTHERS, WE 

GIVE THEM THE 

OPPORTUNITY TO SEE 

GOD AT WORK. 

GO AROUND THE CIRCLE AND EVERYBODY PICK ONE OF THE 

FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO ANSWER. TRY TO KEEP YOUR 

ANSWERS TO JUST A FEW MINUTES. 

• What brought you here? What do you hope to get out of 

this group? 

• How did you meet your spouse? 

• If you are not married, what do you think are the most 

important qualities in a spouse? 


Happily Ever After 15

READ 1 CORINTHIANS 13. 

Hear God’s Story 

1 Corinthians 13 is often called “The Love Chapter.” In it, the 

apostle Paul gives a beautiful description of what love is—not the 

romantic, fuzzy feelings type of love that comes and goes, but real 

love that’s demonstrated in action. 

Have someone read the passage or go around the circle and 

have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and 

discuss as a group. 

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, 

but do not have love, I am only a resounding 

gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift 

of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries 

and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that 

can move mountains, but do not have love, 

I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the 

poor and give over my body to hardship 

that I may boast, but do not have love, I 

gain nothing. 4 Love is patient, love is kind. 

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not 

proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is 

not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it 

keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not 

delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 

7 

It always protects, always trusts, always 

hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails. 

But where there are prophecies, they will 

cease; where there are tongues, they will be 

stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass 

away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy 

in part, 10 but when completeness comes, 

what is in part disappears. 11 When I was 

a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a 

child, I reasoned like a child. When I became 

a man, I put the ways of childhood behind 

me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in 

a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now 

I know in part; then I shall know fully, even 

as I am fully known. 13 And now these three 

remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest 

of these is love. 

16 Session One 17 

Marriage

1. The first few verses describe religious people doing 

religious things without love. Have you ever experienced 

religious people being unloving? How did it affect you? 

2. Verses 4-8 describes different components of love. Which 

of these do you (not your spouse!) find most challenging 

and why? 

3. If you are married, how do you love your spouse well, even 

if your needs are not being met? 

Create A New Story 

IN THIS SECTION, WE WILL APPLY 

THE WISDOM WE’VE LEARNED 

FROM THE TEACHING AND BIBLE 

STUDY. THEN THINK ABOUT 

PRACTICAL STEPS WE CAN TAKE IN 

THE COMING WEEK TO LIVE OUT 

WHAT WE’VE LEARNED. 



Watch the DVD 

4. What have you learned about dealing with conflict and 

compromise well? 

WATCH THE DVD FOR THIS SESSION NOW. USE THE NOTES 

SPACE PROVIDED ON PAGES 143 TO RECORD KEY THOUGHTS, 

QUESTIONS, AND THINGS YOU WANT TO REMEMBER OR 

FOLLOW UP ON. 

1. Where do people learn the skills needed to have a good 

marriage? 

5. Steve says we can disagree without being disagreeable. 

How would you do this? 

2. What do you think makes communication difficult in 

marriage (or if you are single, in relationships in general)? 

3. It has been said that opposites attract and then they attack. 

Why do you think God designed us in such a way that we 

often marry someone who is quite different than us? 

6. How does having God at the center of a marriage make a 

difference? 



CLOSING THOUGHTS 

In the study guide, there is an opportunity 

each week to go deeper with Study Notes, 

Additional Study, and Daily Devotions. These 

are great ways to stay engaged and continue 

growing throughout the week. 

• Ask, “How can we pray for you this 

week?” Invite everyone to share, but 

don’t force the issue. Be sure to write 

prayer requests on your Prayer and 

Praise Report on page 141. 

• Close your meeting with prayer. 

Study Notes 

STEVE MENTIONED THE BOOK 

MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN 

ARE FROM VENUS. AS HE SAID 

ON THE VIDEO, THIS BOOK 

GAINED POPULARITY SEVERAL 

YEARS AGO AS A WAY TO HELP 

THE TWO SEXES UNDERSTAND 

HOW THEY THINK, HOW THEY 

TALK TO EACH OTHER, AND 

HOW THEY VIEW PROBLEMS 

DIFFERENTLY. 

If you want another take on it from a 

Christian perspective, consider the 

book Men are Like Waffles, Women 

are Like Spaghetti. Instead of planets, 

the authors—certified counselors— 

use a food metaphor to describe 

how men tend to psychologically 

compartmentalize their thoughts and 

feelings and women tend to think 

of everything as interconnected. 

Neither gender’s approach is bad and 

each one has its strengths, but the 

book’s premise is that it’s possible to 

understand—and even delight—in the 

differences between the two. 



For 

Additional 

Study 

IF YOU FEEL GOD 

NUDGING YOU TO GO 

DEEPER, TAKE SOME 

TIME BEFORE THE NEXT 

MEETING TO DIG INTO 

HIS WORD. EXPLORE 

THE BIBLE PASSAGES 

RELATED TO THIS 

SESSION’S THEME ON 

YOUR OWN AND JOT 

YOUR REFLECTIONS 

IN A JOURNAL OR IN 

THIS STUDY GUIDE. 

A GREAT WAY TO 

GAIN INSIGHT ON A 

PASSAGE IS TO READ IT 

IN SEVERAL DIFFERENT 

TRANSLATIONS. 

YOU MAY WANT TO 

USE A BIBLE APP OR 

WEBSITE TO COMPARE 

TRANSLATIONS. 

READ PHILIPPIANS 2:1-4. 

• What does it mean to be “like-minded”? How 

does the rest of the verse help explain this? 

• What are the reasons given in verse 1 for what 

our motivation should be to treat each other 

this way? 

• What happens in a relationship if both people 

follow these instructions? 



READ ECCLESIASTES 4:9-12. 

• A saying from the Talmud, the Jewish scriptures, says, 

“A man without companions is like the left hand without 

the right.” Similarly, these verses extol the benefits of 

partnership with someone else. How does this passage 

apply to marriage? 

Daily 

Devotionals 

MEMORY VERSE: 

Do nothing out of selfish 

ambition or vain conceit, but 

in humility consider others 

better than yourselves. 

PHILIPPIANS 2:3 

• How can failures to communicate or compromise lessen 

these benefits? 

• Who or what is the third strand in verse 12? 



DAY 1 • READ: PROVERBS 27:17. 

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. 

RESPOND: 

What does it mean to “sharpen” another person? How can you 

and your spouse help each other in this way? 

DAY 3 • READ: GENESIS 2:18. 

The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a 

helper suitable for him.” 

RESPOND: 

Take a few minutes to think about how you can be a helper to 

your spouse. Ask God for guidance about ways you can live out 

this original intention for marriage. 

DAY 2 • READ: ROMANS 15:5-6. 

May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you a spirit 

of unity among yourselves as you follow Christ Jesus, so that with one 

heart and mouth you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus 

Christ. 

RESPOND: 

Whether in a marriage relationship or another relationship, what 

is the ultimate goal of unity and harmony? 

DAY 4 • READ: ROMANS 8:28. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love 

him, who have been called according to his purpose. 

RESPOND: 

Steve said God can use differences with your spouse to help you 

grow spiritually. How can the situations of your life right now 

work for your spiritual good? 



DAY 5 • READ: JAMES 4:6 

God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. 

RESPOND: 

Many of the issues in our marriages stem from pride. Ask God for 

help in humbly admitting your own contributions to the problem, 

and receive His grace because He loves you! 

DAY 6 

Use the following space to write any thoughts God has put in your 

heart and mind about the things we have looked at in this session 

and during your Daily Devotions time this week. 



The famous comedian Ray Romano once 

said, “Having children is like living in a frat 

house—nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, 

and there’s a lot of throwing up.” 

Parenting is definitely not for sissies! As a 

parent your heart will be stretched with 

love beyond anything you’ve known—and 

your patience will be, too. 

From their child’s 

first days as a 

helpless infant to 

the wild ride of 

adolescence, parents 

constantly 

find themselves in 

a role they aren’t 

prepared for—and 

just as they figure it out, the child gets 

older and everything changes again! 

PARENTING IS 

DEFINITELY NOT 

FOR SISSIES! 

PARENTAL GUIDANCE REQUIRED 

PART ONE 

However, God has promised to be with us 

as parents, and his Word gives us wisdom 

about how to lead our families and raise 

our kids. Today we’ll dig into a few key 

things to focus on in the parenting adventure—no 

matter what craziness is going 

on in your life. 

32 Session Two 

Parental Guidance Required • Part One 

33

Share 

Your 

Story 

EVERYONE GO 

AROUND THE CIRCLE 

AND ANSWER ONE 

OF THE FOLLOWING 

QUESTIONS. TRY TO 

KEEP YOUR ANSWERS 

TO JUST A FEW 

MINUTES. 

• What one character trait or value was most important in 

your home growing up? 

• Share a time when a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle or 

other family member encouraged you with their words. 


Parental Guidance Required • Part One 35

READ DEUTERONOMY 6:1-9. 

6:1 These are the commands, decrees and laws 

the LORD your God directed me to teach you 

to observe in the land that you are crossing the 

Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children 

and their children after them may fear the 

LORD your God as long as you live by keeping all 

his decrees and commands that I give you, and 

so that you may enjoy long life. 3 Hear, Israel, 

and be careful to obey so that it may go well 

with you and that you may increase greatly in 

a land flowing with milk and honey, just as the 

LORD, the God of your ancestors, promised you. 



have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions and 

discuss as a group Have someone read the passage or go around 

the circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the 

questions and discuss as a group. 

4 

Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD 

is one. 5 Love the LORD your God with all your 

heart and with all your soul and with all your 

strength. 6 These commandments that I give 

you today are to be on your hearts. 7 Impress 

them on your children. Talk about them when 

you sit at home and when you walk along the 

road, when you lie down and when you get up. 

8 

Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind 

them on your foreheads. 9 Write them on the 

doorframes of your houses and on your gates. 

36 Session Two 37 

Parental Guidance Required • Part One

1. Why do you think God chose to convey this message to 

the Israelites after 40 years of wandering in the wilderness 

as they are about to enter the long awaited promised land? 

2. What does it mean to “impress” God’s commands on our 

children’s hearts? How do we do this? 

Create A 

New Story 

IN THIS SECTION, WE WILL APPLY THE 

WISDOM WE’VE LEARNED FROM THE 

TEACHING AND BIBLE STUDY. THEN 

THINK ABOUT PRACTICAL STEPS WE 

CAN TAKE IN THE COMING WEEK TO 

LIVE OUT WHAT WE’VE LEARNED. 

3. Verses 7-9 gave instructions as to how the Israelites were 

to immerse and integrate God’s word into every facet 

of their day to day life. What would this look like in our 

cultural context? 



Watch the DVD 

4. What do you think are some of the most important 

elements that make up the role of a parent? 




FOLLOW UP ON. 

1. As you think back on how you were raised, what things 

would you want to carry on? 

5. When it comes to encouraging words, why do you think it 

is easier to point out what is lacking or not good enough 

rather than to affirm the good? 

2. As you think back on how you were raised, what things 

would you want to leave behind? 

6. What is one thing you would like to do differently in 

your parenting, grand parenting, or influencing the next 

generation? 

3. How do you learn to give your kids or grandkids what they 

need if you never received those things when you were 

growing up? 



CLOSING THOUGHT 

In the study guide, there is an opportunity 

each week to go deeper with Study Notes, 

Additional Study, and Daily Devotions. These 

are great ways to stay engaged and continue 

growing throughout the week. 






Study Notes 

LIKE LAST WEEK, STEVE MENTIONED A BOOK THAT 

MIGHT BE HELPFUL TO YOU IN YOUR RELATIONSHIPS: 

THE BLESSING BY GARY SMALLEY. THIS IS A GREAT 

RESOURCE FOR HEALING WOUNDS FROM OUR OWN 

PAST AND LEAVING A LEGACY OF LOVE TO OUR KIDS. 

He also talked about some concrete ways you can demonstrate 

love to your kids, including physical touch and encouraging 

words. These are two of the “love languages” another Gary, 

Gary Chapman, identifies in his book The Five Love Languages: 

The Secret to Love that Lasts. In addition to touch and affirming 

words, Chapmen identifies quality time, acts of service, and gifts 

as other ways you can show love to not only your kids but your 

spouse, friends, and parents. 

Each of us has one or two primary love languages and when 

others speak that language, we feel especially loved. For 

example, if your language is acts of service, you may feel 

cherished or appreciated when your spouse vacuums out your 

car or helps with dinner. Your daughter may thrive on words of 

encouragement but not notice if you do a chore for her. And your 

spouse may like it if you say something kind, but won’t really feel 

loved without a steady diet of hugs, kisses, or hand-holding. 


It’s important to understand others’ love languages because we 

usually show love in the way we’re wired to receive it—which may 

not always communicate as well to the people we care about. 

Once you know and respect their love languages, you can begin 

speaking, behaving, or giving in ways that truly make them feel 

special. 



For 

Additional 

Study 

IF YOU FEEL GOD 

NUDGING YOU TO GO 

DEEPER, TAKE SOME 

TIME BETWEEN NOW 

AND OUR NEXT MEETING 

TO DIG INTO HIS WORD. 

EXPLORE THE BIBLE 

PASSAGES RELATED TO 

THIS SESSION’S THEME 

ON YOUR OWN, JOTTING 

YOUR REFLECTIONS IN 

A JOURNAL OR IN THIS 

STUDY GUIDE. WANT TO 

GO DEEPER? SELECT A 

FEW VERSES AND TRY 

PARAPHRASING THEM: 

WRITING THEM IN YOUR 

OWN WORDS. IF YOU 

LIKE, SHARE THEM WITH 

THE GROUP NEXT TIME 

YOU MEET. 

READ COLOSSIANS 3:21, 23-24. 

• What does it mean to “embitter” your children? 

How can our behavior as parents discourage 

our children? 

• What is the difference between working as if 

for the Lord and working as if for men? How do 

we parent “as if for the Lord”? 

• What is the inheritance we receive as a reward? 

• Why did the author follow his instruction 

to parents with a statement about working 

for Christ? What connection does this draw 

between parenting and serving God? 



READ EPHESIANS 4:29-32. 

• Based on this passage, how would the author define 

“unwholesome” talk? 

Daily 

Devotionals 

• What is the side benefit of building up people with our 

words (verse 29)? 

MEMORY VERSE: 

Reckless words pierce like a 

sword, but the tongue of the 

wise brings healing. 

Proverbs 12:18 

• Why would thoughtless or unkind words “grieve” the Holy 

Spirit? 

• What does it mean to forgive the way Christ forgave us? 



DAY 1 • READ: 2 TIMOTHY 4:7-8. 

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. 

Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, 

the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, 

but also to all who have longed for his appearing. 

RESPOND: 

Sometimes parenting can seem like a marathon! Today, ask God 

for strength to finish the race well and keep the faith. 


Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the 

bones. 

RESPOND: 

How can your encouraging or affirming words positively affect 

the people you love? Ask God to help you find opportunities to 

encourage your children and your spouse today. 

DAY 2 • READ: 1 JOHN 4:11-12. 

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 

No one has ever seen God; but if we love each other, God lives in us and 

his love is made complete in us. 

RESPOND: 

As a parent, you are one of the biggest ways your child will see 

God. It’s a huge responsibility but also a huge opportunity. How 

can you show God and His love to your child today? 

DAY 4 • READ: 2 CHRONICLES 15:7. 

But as for you, be strong and do not give up, for your work will be 

rewarded. 

RESPOND: 

Remember, we need to have a strong belief in the importance of 

our role as a parent. The Bible is full of reminders that we are to 

be strong and courageous. Ask God to help you have strength 

and perseverance in parenting. 



DAY 5 • READ: MATTHEW 19:13-15. 

Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on 

them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought 

them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder 

them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had 

placed his hands on them, he went on from there. 

RESPOND: 

What does Jesus mean when he says the kingdom of heaven 

belongs to people who are like children? What can we learn about 

our faith from parenting? 

DAY 6 







PART TWO 

You know, the Bible doesn’t say 

that much about parenting. There 

are a few brief passages here and 

there, and we definitely can learn 

from them. But the Bible has a lot 

more to say about who we are and 

who we’re choosing to become. In 

other words, if we’re growing to be 

more like Christ, we are also going 

to be growing as 

parents, and a focus 

on loving Him 

helps us love the 

others in our lives, 

as well. 

Fortunately, there 

are principles in God’s word that 

can help us become stronger and 

more mature in both areas, and 

this week we’re going to explore 

three more. These principles can 

help you raise your own children 

well….and they can help all of us as 

children in relationship with a loving 

heavenly Father. 

THE BIBLE HAS A LOT TO SAY 

ABOUT WHO WE ARE AND WHO 

WE’RE CHOOSING TO BECOME. 

52 Session Three 

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two 

53

Share 

Your 

Story 

EVERYONE GO 






TO JUST A FEW 

MINUTES. 

• Tell the group about a time you got in trouble when you 

were a kid. How did your parents respond? What did you 

learn from the experience? 

• What are some of your best memories in having fun with 

your family growing up? 


Parental Guidance Required • Part Two 55

Hear God’s 

Story 

One way we can learn to parent our kids 

is by looking at how God “parents” us. Just 

as we need to appropriately discipline and 

provide consequences for our kids, God will 

use life situations to teach us hard lessons 

and help us “grow up” spiritually. 

Have someone read the passage or go 

around the circle and have everyone read a 

verse aloud. Then, read the questions and 

discuss as a group. 

READ GALATIANS 6:7-9. 

6:7 Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. 

A man reaps what he sows. 8 Whoever sows 

to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap 

destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, 

from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9 Let us not 

become weary in doing good, for at the proper 

time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 

56 Session Three 57 

Parental Guidance Required • Part Two

1. How would believing we won’t face consequences for our 

behavior “mock” God? 

2. As parents, grandparents, and mentors how do we instill 

the principles of reaping and sowing into our kid’s lives? 

Create A 

New Story 

IN THIS SECTION, WE WILL APPLY 

THE WISDOM WE’VE LEARNED 

FROM THE TEACHING AND BIBLE 


PRACTICAL STEPS WE CAN TAKE 

IN THE COMING WEEK TO LIVE 

OUT WHAT WE’VE LEARNED. 

3. How does verse 9 relate to parenting? 



Watch the DVD 

4. On the video, Steve said that without discipline there is no 

love. When might a lack of discipline seem unloving? 




FOLLOW UP ON. 

1. How does the way your parents incorporated fun impact 

you today? 

5. If you are married with kids, what challenges have you 

faced in “getting on the same page” when it comes to 

parenting? 

2. When might discipline seem unloving? 

6. What is one area you could improve in as a parent, 

grandparent, or influencer of kids? 

3. How does the way your parents handled discipline impact 

you today? 




Remember to check in with the Study Notes, 

Additional Study, and Daily Devotions to go 

deeper throughout the week. 






Study Notes 

AS STEVE REMARKS IN THE VIDEO, IT’S IMPORTANT 

THAT WE TEACH OUR KIDS THE MAJOR LESSONS OF 

LIFE BEFORE THEY’RE 18 YEARS OLD. IN OUR CULTURE, 

THAT’S THE LEGAL AGE OF ADULTHOOD, SO IT’S 

DEFINITELY IMPORTANT THAT WE’VE PARENTED OUR 

KIDS TO BE COMPLETELY RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR 

ACTIONS AND TO UNDERSTAND CONSEQUENCES 

BEFORE THEY REACH THIS MILESTONE. 

However, recent research by human development psychologists, 

neurologists, and other specialists shows that while our culture 

considers kids “grown” at age 18, the human brain actually 

continues to mature and develop until age 25. Here’s a quote 

from an article on the subject by National Geographic: 


The first full series of scans of the developing adolescent brain—a 

National Institutes of Health (NIH) project that studied over 

a hundred young people as they grew up during the 1990s— 

showed that our brains undergo a massive reorganization 

between our 12th and 25th years. The brain doesn’t actually 

grow very much during this period. It has already reached 90 

percent of its full size by the time a person is six, and a thickening 

skull accounts for most head growth afterward. But as we 

move through adolescence, the brain undergoes extensive 

remodeling, resembling a network and wiring upgrade…… 

When this development proceeds normally, we get better at 

balancing impulse, desire, goals, self-interest, rules, ethics, and 

even altruism, generating behavior that is more complex and, 



sometimes at least, more sensible. But at times, and especially at 

first, the brain does this work clumsily. It’s hard to get all those 

new cogs to mesh. 

So while our society will still treat kids as adults at age 18, they’re 

still growing in their ability to delay gratification, set goals, and 

behave responsibly. This might not be great news for those of 

us really wanting our grown children to behave grown up, but 

perhaps it can give us some patience as we nurture them into 

young adulthood. 

For 

Additional 

Study 

TAKE SOME TIME BETWEEN 

NOW AND OUR NEXT 

MEETING TO DIG INTO GOD’S 

WORD. EXPLORE THE BIBLE 

PASSAGES RELATED TO 

THIS SESSION’S THEME ON 

YOUR OWN, JOTTING YOUR 

REFLECTIONS IN A JOURNAL 

OR IN THIS STUDY GUIDE. 

WANT TO GO DEEPER? YOU 

MAY EVEN WANT TO USE A 

BIBLE WEBSITE OR APP TO 

LOOK UP COMMENTARY ON 

THESE PASSAGES. IF YOU 

LIKE, SHARE WHAT YOU 

LEARN WITH THE GROUP THE 

NEXT TIME YOU MEET. 



READ PROVERBS 3:12-15. 

• Why do parents discipline the children they love? Why 

does God, therefore, discipline us? 

• How do you know if the Lord is disciplining or “rebuking” you? 

• What do we know about God’s character that tells us how 

he approaches our discipline? What lessons can we learn 

from that about how to discipline our own children? 

• Why are wisdom and understanding so profitable? 

READ PSALM 127. 

• What does it mean for the Lord to build the house? 

• Why are children called a reward from God? What does 

this passage teach you about God’s value for families? 

• In this psalm, there is reference to both God building and 

to us building. What does that tell you about raising your 

children—is it solely your work to do? 

Daily Devotionals 

MEMORY VERSE: 

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring 

them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. 

Ephesians 6:4 

• How would you put verses 4 and 5 into modern language? 



DAY 1 • READ: EPHESIANS 4:26-27. 

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still 

angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. 

RESPOND: 

Steve says we should discipline with guidance and love, not punish 

out of anger. This is easier some days than others! What does this 

verse say is the result of holding on to anger? 

DAY 3 • READ: JAMES 4:7. 

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from 

you. 

RESPOND: 

Good choices have good consequences, and here James gives a 

very direct summation of our personal responsibility in fighting 

sin. How can you submit to God and resist the devil this week? 

DAY 2 • READ: HEBREWS 12:11. 

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, 

it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have 

been trained by it. 

RESPOND: 

We grow from discipline if we are willing to learn its lessons. How 

can you allow God’s discipline to train you this week? Ask him to 

give you patience as you wait for its rewards. 


Discipline your son, and he will give you peace; he will bring delight to 

your soul. 

RESPOND: 

What a beautiful, hopeful promise this is. Ask God for help in 

disciplining your children and ask him to bless your home with 

peace. 



DAY 5 • READ: PSALM 103:17. 

But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those 

who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children. 

RESPOND: 

Spend some time praying about how your life can be more 

honoring to God, and asking for his blessing on your children and 

grandchildren. 

DAY 6 






The old cliché says, “The best things in life are 

free.” When we really stop to think about it, 

most of us would agree—our family, our health, 

our friendships, and many of the small pleasures 

of life cost nothing but mean everything. 

However, it’s easy to get sidetracked with the 

demands of work, sports, band practice, volunteering, 

committee meetings—even church. And 

as a result, our families suffer because we don’t 

spend the time 

to really connect 

with our kids, 

show them the 

best way to live, 

or make deposits 

in their memory 

banks. 

IT’S POSSIBLE TO START MAKING 

BETTER CHOICES, NO MATTER 

HOW OLD YOUR KIDS ARE. 


PART THREE 

Fortunately, it’s possible to start making better 

choices, no matter how old your kids are. This 

week we’re talking about four more principles 

that are key to raising our children and we’re digging 

into Scripture that can help us apply these 

truths to our lives. Building a strong family isn’t 

always easy, but it’s one of the best things in 

life—and the real things that matter won’t cost 

you a dime. 

72 Session Four 

Parental Guidance Required • Part Three 

73

Share 

Your 

Story 

EVERYONE GO 






TO JUST A FEW 

MINUTES. 

• What’s your favorite way to spend time together as a 

family? 

• What are some great memories you have from your 

childhood? 


Parental Guidance Required • Part Three 75


Have someone read the passage or go around the 

circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, 

read the questions and discuss as a group. 

READ I PETER 3:8-11. 

8 

Finally, all of you, be like-minded, 

be sympathetic, love one another, 

be compassionate and humble. 9 

Do not repay evil with evil or insult 

with insult.On the contrary, repay 

evil with blessing, because to this 

you were called so that you may 

inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever 

would love life and see good days 

must keep their tongue from 

evil and their lips from deceitful 

speech. 11 They must turn from evil 

and do good; they must seek peace 

and pursue it. 



1. When it comes to pursuing peace and not repaying insult 

with insult, why can this be particularly difficult in our 

families? 

2. Which one of these directions would make the most 

difference in your family life? 

Create A 

New Story 

IN THIS SECTION, WE WILL 

APPLY THE WISDOM WE’VE 

LEARNED FROM THE TEACHING 

AND BIBLE STUDY. THEN THINK 

ABOUT PRACTICAL STEPS WE 

CAN TAKE IN THE COMING 

WEEK TO LIVE OUT WHAT 

WE’VE LEARNED. 

3. What has it looked like for you to “seek peace and pursue 

it” in your relationship with family? 



Watch the DVD 




FOLLOW UP ON. 

4. It has been said that kids spell love –T I M E. Share some 

things that have worked for you in connecting with your 

children or grandchildren? 

1. Steve said, “healthy kids don’t come from perfect homes 

but they come from peaceful homes. What do you do in 

your home to create peace? 

5. Was there an adult other than your parents who you 

looked up to when you were a child or teenager? What 

made them influential in your life? 

2. If there were elements of your childhood that were painful 

or lacking, how do you avoid repeating the pattern that 

you experienced then, with your family today? 

6. As you consider the goal of having a peaceful home, 

being a role model, and spending time with your kids or 

grandkids, what is one thing you would like to do less or 

more of? 

3. It is possible to be physically present with your family, 

yet mentally or emotionally absent. How do you “stay 

present” when you are with your family? 




Groups grow closer when they serve 

together. Let’s be thinking about how our 

group could serve together. Does anybody 

have any ideas? 






Study Notes 

THERE ARE A VARIETY OF RESOURCES, BOTH IN PRINT 

AND ONLINE, TO SPARK IDEAS FOR WAYS YOU CAN 

MAKE GOOD MEMORIES WITH YOUR KIDS. HERE ARE A 

FEW IDEAS TO GET YOU STARTED: 

• Share a favorite family recipe or try something new and 

prepare a meal together. 

• Have a special plate (in some families it’s bright red!) 

that’s used for good report cards, birthdays, or other 

celebrations. 

• Find a way to serve together. Even young children can 

prepare a goodie basket for an elderly neighbor or choose 

a few toys to donate to someone in need. 

• Spend time with your child learning more about his 

favorite hobby—even if it doesn’t interest you at all! Who 

knows, you might end up discovering it’s more fun than 

you thought—and if not, your child will never forget that 

you made an effort. 


• If you travel for work, occasionally take one of your kids 

with you for some special one-on-one time. 

• Ask fun questions like, “What would you do with a million 

dollars?” or “If you wrote a book, what would it be about?” 

and really listen to their answers. Don’t be surprised if 

they ask you the same question! 



For 

Additional 

Study 

READ PHILIPPIANS 2:1-4. 

READ 1 TIMOTHY 3:1-5. 

• This passage is a guideline for those who wish to be 

leaders or “overseers” in the church, but the principles 

outlined in these verses are good goals for any parent. 

What is one trait listed here that you do well? What is one 

you need to work on? 

• To be “salt” in this context means to live out the teachings 

of Jesus given in Chapter 5. Just as salt increases the taste 

of food, our lives can increase the appeal of Jesus. How can 

you be more “salty” this week? How could it create a thirst 

for the Gospel in your kids? 

• Notice that all of these qualities focus not on our culture’s 

expected “leadership” qualities, but on issues of character. 

What does this teach us about how God expects us to lead 

our families? 

• What does it mean to be the light of the world? 

• How can we let our light shine in our families? 

• What does it mean to be “above reproach”? Is that even 

possible? 

• What does this passage have to teach us about being role 

models for our kids? What should they be learning by 

watching us? 

• Do you agree with the argument made in verse 5? 



Daily 

Devotionals 

MEMORY VERSE: 

Train a child in the way he 

should go, and when he is old 

he will not turn from it. 

PROVERBS 22:6 


Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will 

not turn from it. 

RESPOND: 

Of course, there are no guarantees in life—we all know people 

who raised their children well and the children did, in fact, “turn 

from it.” But the Proverbs share wisdom that is generally true for 

living a good life. Does this verse give you hope? How can you 

grow in the way you are training your child? 

DAY 2 • READ: PSALM 23:4. 

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I 

will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they 

comfort me. 

RESPOND: 

How do God’s rod and staff—his boundaries and gentle 

guidance—protect and comfort us? How can you give the same 

thing to your children as you shepherd them to adulthood? 



DAY 3 • READ: MATTHEW 5:9. 

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God. 

RESPOND: 

What does it mean to be called a son of God? How can you 

imitate the Son of God today? 

DAY 5 • READ: 2 CORINTHIANS 6:18. 

I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, 

says the Lord Almighty. 

RESPOND: 

How does our adoption as God’s children influence the way we 

love our own children? How can we learn from his parenting of us 

as we parent our kids? 

DAY 6 




DAY 4 • READ: PROVERBS 1:8-9. 

Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake 

your mother’s teaching. They will be a garland to grace your head 

and a chain to adorn your neck. 

RESPOND: 

This is a poetic way of describing the value of a parents’ guidance. 

Does it describe the legacy you are leaving to your children? 

Ask God for help in consistently providing instruction that will 

enhance your kids’ lives as they grow. 



SINGLED OUT 

We live in a culture focused on couples. 

Chances are, if you’ve been a single 

adult you’ve faced your share of 

well-meaning questions (“Would you 

like to meet my nephew? He’s just wonderful”), 

advice (“You’ve just got to put 

yourself out there!”), and “encouragement” 

(“Are you being too picky?”). It’s 

assumed that you’re in a relationship, 

and if you’re not, that you desperately 

want to be and 

just can’t be happy 

without a significant 

other. 

However, one is 

a whole number. 

Paul was single, 

Jesus was single, and it’s okay if you 

are, too. In fact, whether you’ve never 

married, you’re divorced, or you’re 

widowed, God can use this life stage 

to do great things in you and through 

you. This week we’ll learn more about 

how to live life to the full as a single 

adult, and how the rest of us can be an 

encouragement to the singles in our 

church. 

ONE IS A WHOLE NUMBER. 

90 Session Five 

Singled Out 

91

Share 

Your 

Story 

EVERYONE GO 






TO JUST A FEW 

MINUTES. 

• If you’re currently single or have been single in the past, 

share one thing you loved about it and one thing that was 

difficult. 

• Do you believe in the idea of “soul mates”? 

• If you’re brave enough (and the other person isn’t in the 

group!) tell your worst “first-date” story. 


Singled Out 93


Have someone read the passage or go around the 

circle and have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, 

read the questions and discuss as a group. 

READ 1 CORINTHIANS 7: 26-28, 32-35. 

26 

Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good 

for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you pledged to 

a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free 

from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife. 

28 

But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if 

a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who 

marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want 

to spare you this. 

29 

What I mean, brothers and sisters, is that the time 

is short. From now on those who have wives should 

live as if they do not; 30 those who mourn, as if they 

did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; 

those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to 

keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if 

not engrossed in them. For this world in its present 

form is passing away. 

32 

I would like you to be free from concern. An 

unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s 

affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a 

married man is concerned about the affairs of 

this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his 

interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin 

is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to 

be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But 

a married woman is concerned about the affairs of 

this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am 

saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, 

but that you may live in a right way in undivided 

devotion to the Lord. 


Singled Out 95

1. What unique challenges does being single present? 

2. What unique advantages does being single present in your 

relationship with God and others? 

Create A 

New Story 

IN THIS SECTION, WE WILL 

APPLY THE WISDOM WE’VE 

LEARNED FROM THE TEACHING 

AND BIBLE STUDY. THEN THINK 

ABOUT PRACTICAL STEPS WE 

CAN TAKE IN THE COMING 

WEEK TO LIVE OUT WHAT 

WE’VE LEARNED. 

3. Verse 29 says, “The time is short” and verse 31 says, 

“This world in its present form is passing away.” Whether 

married or single, how does having this perspective impact 

how we live our lives? 


Singled Out 97

Watch the DVD 

4. Whether you’re single or married, in what way is it most 

difficult for you to be content? 




FOLLOW UP ON. 

1. Why do you think married people so frequently put 

pressure on single people to get married? 

5. Steve says, regardless of “whether we are married or 

single, God has a purpose for our life right now.” How can 

we discover God’s purpose for our life? 

2. Why do you think we so often look to marriage or a 

relationship to find happiness? 

6. If you are single, are you able to see your singleness as a 

“good thing, a gift, and a way to bring God glory”? Why or 

why not? 

3. What are some of the needs we all have that only God can 

fill? 


Singled Out 99


Be thinking about if you want to continue to 

meet as a group. Next week we can make a 

decision and work out details. 






Study Notes 

IT IS LIKELY THAT PAUL, THE AUTHOR OF 1 

CORINTHIANS, WAS MARRIED AT ONE POINT. BEFORE 

HIS DRAMATIC CONVERSION TO CHRISTIANITY, HE HAD 

BEEN A HIGH-RANKING MEMBER OF THE PHARISEES, 

THE SECT OF EXTREMELY RELIGIOUS JEWS WHO WERE 

THE “ELITE” AMONG THE JEWISH PEOPLE. ACCORDING 

TO SOME SCHOLARS, JEWS OF THAT DAY WOULD HAVE 

BEEN REQUIRED TO MARRY, AND UNMARRIED MEN 

WERE SOMETIMES CONSIDERED EXCLUDED FROM THE 

FAITH. IN ADDITION, IT’S LIKELY THAT PAUL WAS A 

MEMBER OF THE SANHEDRIN, AND ONLY MARRIED MEN 

COULD BE PART OF THAT GROUP. 

We don’t know what happened to Paul’s wife, but the fact that 

he most likely experienced both marriage and singleness gives 

credibility to his teaching in 1 Corinthians 7. 



Singled Out 101

For 

Additional 

Study 

• The word used here for “workmanship” is only used one 

other place in the New Testament, Romans 1:20, where 

it talks about the work of God in creation. How does this 

reinforce Steve’s comments about your immense value 

regardless of your marital status? 

TAKE SOME TIME BETWEEN NOW AND OUR NEXT MEETING 

TO DIG INTO GOD’S WORD. EXPLORE THE BIBLE PASSAGES 

RELATED TO THIS SESSION’S THEME ON YOUR OWN. JOT 

DOWN YOUR REFLECTIONS IN A JOURNAL OR IN THIS STUDY 

GUIDE. YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO USE A BIBLE WEBSITE OR 

APP TO LOOK UP COMMENTARY ON THESE PASSAGES. IF YOU 

LIKE, SHARE WHAT YOU LEARN WITH THE GROUP THE NEXT 

TIME YOU MEET. 

READ EPHESIANS 2:8-10. 

• Steve said we are all here for a purpose and that’s to reach 

people who don’t know him. What good works might you 

able to do that could connect people to Christ? 

• Notice these verses don’t say we’re created to do good 

works if we’re single, or if we’re married—we’re all created 

to do things for Him. What does it mean to be created in 

Christ Jesus? 


Singled Out 103

READ HEBREWS 4:14-16. 

• Sometimes we’re not content with our marital status 

because we’re afraid: what if we never find a spouse? 

What if the marriage we do have doesn’t work out? These 

verses, along with many others in the Bible, remind us we 

do not have to live lives of fear. How does verse 14 set the 

stage for this idea? 

Daily 

Devotionals 

MEMORY VERSE: 

Godliness with contentment 

is great gain. 

1 TIMOTHY 6:6DA 

• What does it mean that Jesus is our High Priest? How is he 

able to sympathize with our struggles? 

• Think about the ideas in verses 14 and 15. Do they allow 

you to approach God with more confidence about the 

fears and concerns you experience? What two things are 

promised if we do? 


Singled Out 105


Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. 

RESPOND: 

Well, that’s certainly blunt! If you are single, ask God for an extra 

measure of wisdom in considering your future spouse! 

DAY 3 • READ: 1 TIMOTHY 5:1-2. 

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your 

father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and 

younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. 

RESPOND: 

Because most churches are multigenerational, it’s important 

that we remember how to treat each other in ways that honor 

marriages and don’t tempt the single. How can you put this into 

practice with the people you connect with at our church? 

DAY 2 • READ: PROVERBS 18:22 

He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. 

RESPOND: 

Okay, here’s one that’s a bit more positive. If you are married, take 

time to thank God for your spouse and his or her good qualities. If 

you are not and would like to be, pray that God might bring you a 

spouse, and pray also for the marriages of your friends and family, 

that they would be strong and God-honoring. 

DAY 4 • READ: GALATIANS 3:28. 

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you 

are all one in Christ Jesus. 

RESPOND: 

Remember, there is much more to us than our marital status. Ask 

God to help you look beyond these small differences to find a 

unity that glorifies him. 


Singled Out 107

DAY 5 • READ: ZEPHANIAH 3:17. 

The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great 

delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with 

singing. 

RESPOND: 

We end the week with a reminder that the source of all love is 

God. Take a few minutes to simply thank God for His love for you 

and the grace He has shown you. 

THE LORD YOUR GOD IS 

WITH YOU, HE IS MIGHTY 

TO SAVE... 

DAY 6 





Singled Out 109

Family was designed to be permanent. Tragically, 

in our world today that’s not always the case. 

Sometimes spouses or children are abandoned. 

Sometimes fights and disagreements push people 

away. Often family members simply drift apart. 

But the original design for the family was that 

“you got what you got” and you were all stuck 

with each other. While that means at times you 

had to listen to Uncle Bob’s war stories at the 

family picnics AGAIN, it also provided a beautiful 

picture of loyalty 

and unconditional 

love. You stick 

together, put up 

with each other, 

and love each 

other because 

that’s what families 

do. You’re in 

it together, for keeps. 

YOU STICK TOGETHER, PUT UP WITH 

EACH OTHER, AND LOVE EACH OTHER 

BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT FAMILIES DO. 

WE ARE FAMILY 

Human families often fall short of this ideal, but 

God created our spiritual families to live this out 

in ways that bless us and honor Him. No matter 

what your biological family looks like or struggles 

with, your Christian family is here to support 

you, encourage you, and help you grow, and this 

week we’re digging into God’s Word to learn more 

about what that means. 

110 Session Six 

We Are Family 

111

Share 

Your 

Story 

EVERYONE GO 






TO JUST A FEW 

MINUTES. 

• What has surprised you most about this group? Where did 

God meet you over the last six weeks? 

• When is a time that someone in your church family has 

made a difference in your life? 

• Who originally shared God’s love with you and invited you 

into His family? 


We Are Family 113

READ EPHESIANS 4:11-13, 16. 

11 

So Christ himself gave the apostles, 

the prophets, the evangelists, the 

pastors and teachers, 12 to equip his 

people for works of service, so that the 

body of Christ may be built up 13 until 

we all reach unity in the faith and in 

the knowledge of the Son of God and 

become mature, attaining to the whole 

measure of the fullness of Christ. 


16 

From him the whole body, joined 

and held together by every supporting 

ligament, grows and builds itself up in 

love, as each part does its work. 


have everyone read a verse aloud. Then, read the questions 

and discuss as a group. 



1. What are the reasons given here for God gifting His 

people? 

2. Based on this passage, what is the role of leaders in the 

church? What is the role of everyone else? How do we 

sometimes get this backwards? 

Create A 

New Story 

IN THIS SECTION, WE 

WILL APPLY THE WISDOM 

WE’VE LEARNED FROM 

THE TEACHING AND BIBLE 


PRACTICAL STEPS WE CAN 

TAKE IN THE COMING WEEK 

TO LIVE OUT WHAT WE’VE 

LEARNED. 

3. How does serving and using our gifts lead to greater 

maturity? 



Watch the DVD 




FOLLOW UP ON. 

4. Steve says we’re not just a bunch of people gathering in a 

church building now, we’re a family that’s connected for 

eternity. How does that affect your view of our life and 

growth together as a church? 

1. How has God changed your story during this six-week 

study? What new things is He asking you to do? What 

truth has transformed your heart? 

5. “You don’t have to do every part. You just need to do 

your part.” What is one thing you could do to help share 

God with others and be part of our spiritual family and its 

mission? 

2. Think about specific steps you want to take to live a new 

story and to walk more closely with God so you can be 

part of His story, engaged in His kingdom. 

3. As you walk forward in your relationship with God, 

what will you do differently as a result of what you’ve 

experienced in this group? 

6. What are some practical ways you could be a brother or 

sister, aunt or uncle, or even grandma or grandpa figure to 

someone in our church? 




Let’s discuss if we want to continue together 

as a group, how often we will meet, and what 

we will study next. 






Study Notes 

JUST AS HUMAN INFANTS BEGIN BY DRINKING MILK 

AND LATER PROGRESS TO EATING SOLID FOOD, 

CHRISTIANS BEGIN WITH THE FUNDAMENTALS OF THE 

FAITH AND GROW INTO A DEEPER SPIRITUAL MATURITY 

AND UNDERSTANDING OF GOD. 

Several passages, such as 1 Corinthians 3:1-2, 1 Peter 2:1-3, 

and Hebrews 5:12-15, use this metaphor, often to challenge the 

readers (including us!) to grow up into spiritual adulthood. These 

passages are not only reminders of the need for us to mature in 

our faith, but at the same time to be patient with others in God’s 

family who are still needing spiritual “milk.” We are all at different 

stages on the journey, but we are all in the family! 




For 

Additional 

Study 

• The word “Abba” is Aramaic for “Father.” It is an informal 

word that could even be translated “Daddy.” How does this 

affect your understanding of this passage? 

EXPLORE THE BIBLE PASSAGES RELATED TO THIS SESSION’S 

THEME ON YOUR OWN, JOTTING YOUR REFLECTIONS IN A 

JOURNAL OR IN THIS STUDY GUIDE. YOU MAY EVEN WANT TO 

USE A BIBLE WEBSITE OR APP TO LOOK UP COMMENTARY ON 

THESE PASSAGES. 

READ GALATIANS 4:4-7. 

• We are heirs of God! What can we look forward to as our 

inheritance? 

• What does it mean that Jesus was born under law? 

• What rights do we receive as the children of God? 



READ 1 CORINTHIANS 12:12-26. 

• This is an extended analogy comparing the church to a 

physical body. How can the church be a unit, united in 

purpose (verse 12) when the parts are so different? What 

must each part do to contribute to that unity? 

• React to verse 18. Does this encourage you? Challenge 

you? 

Daily 

Devotionals 

MEMORY VERSE: 

For just as each of us has one 

body with many members, 

and these members do not all 

have the same function, so in 

Christ we, though many, form 

one body, and each member 

belongs to all the others. 

ROMANS 12:4-5 

• How can we suffer with the parts of the body that suffer? 

How can we rejoice with the parts that rejoice? 



DAY 1 • READ: PHILIPPIANS 3:20-21. 

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from 

there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring 

everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they 

will be like his glorious body. 

RESPOND: 

Not only are we adopted into God’s family, we’re adopted into his 

nationality, as well, and have a place waiting for us in heaven. Take 

a few minutes to reflect on this amazing truth and thank God for 

all he’s done for you. 

DAY 3 • READ: JOHN 1:12-13. 

Yet to all who received him, as those who believed in his name, he 

gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural 

descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. 

RESPOND: 

How does this verse tell us we can be born of God and join his 

family? 

DAY 2 • READ: COLOSSIANS 3:15. 

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body 

you were called to peace. And be thankful. 

RESPOND: 

What does it mean that Jesus has called us to peace? How can we 

grow into more peaceful people? 

DAY 4 • READ: 1 JOHN 3:1. 

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be 

called children of God! And that is what we are! 

RESPOND: 

Simply praise God today for his kindness and compassion and 

love in wanting us to be part of his family. Perhaps write out a 

prayer of thanksgiving in your journal or in this notebook. 



DAY 5 • READ: GALATIANS 6:10. 

Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, 

especially to those who belong to the family of believers. 

RESPOND: 

How could you do good for a Christian brother or sister today? 

LET US 

DO GOOD 

TO ALL 

PEOPLE... 

DAY 6 






Appendices 

RESOURCES TO MAKE YOUR SMALL GROUP 

EXPERIENCE EVEN BETTER! 

130 Family Matters 131 

Appendices

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 

HOW DO I STRUCTURE A MEETING? 

The following is an example of how one group structures their 

meeting. Other groups will vary the structure to fit their group’s 

personality. 

• 7–7:30 pm • Welcome / Snacks: 

People will arrive at different times, and this allows 

everyone to meet each other informally and catch up with 

one another prior. 

• 7:30–8 pm • Share Your Story: 

Each of us has a story. The events of our life—good, bad, 

wonderful or challenging—have shaped who we are. As 

you start the study say, “I will go first and then we will 

go around the circle to my right..” As you pick one of the 

questions and answer first, you set an example of how 

much detail to give and time to take in answering the 

question. 

• 8–8:45 pm • Hear God’s Story and Create a New Story: 

Read the scripture and answer the discussion questions; 

watch the video; and discuss the application questions. 

If you don’t make it through all of the questions, that is 

okay. The questions are there to spark good discussion. Be 

willing to be flexible. 

• 8:45–9 pm • Prayer: 

Group members will share prayer requests and the group 

prays together. For some people in the group, this will 

be the first time they have ever prayed out loud. Please 

remember to be patient with them and avoid putting them 

on the spot. 

HOW DO WE HANDLE THE CHILDCARE NEEDS 

IN OUR GROUP? 

Very carefully. Seriously, this can be a sensitive issue. We suggest 

that you empower the group to openly brainstorm solutions. You 

may try one option that works for a while and then adjust over 

time. Our favorite approach is for adults to meet in the living 

room or dining room and to share the cost of a babysitter (or two) 

who can watch the kids in a different part of the house. This way, 

parents don’t have to be away from their children all evening 

when their children are too young to be left at home. A second 

option is to use one home for the kids and a second home (close 

by or a phone call away) for the adults. A final option, is to decide 

that you need to have a night to invest in your spiritual lives 

individually or as a couple and to make your own arrangements 

for childcare. No matter what decision the group makes, the best 

approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem and the 

solution. 

IF I FACILITATE OR HOST THE LIFE GROUP, DO WE HAVE 

TO MEET IN MY HOME? 

No. Many groups will share the role of having the group meet in 

their homes. 

HOW BIG SHOULD MY LIFE GROUP BE? 

Ten to fourteen people is a good target range. If there are too 

many people or too few people in a group, it may become difficult 

to create and sustain a healthy environment. However, if your 

group starts with just a few people, that is alright. Include the 

group in this process of inviting people. It is fine to start small 

and grow. 


Appendices

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN WE REACH THE MAXIMUM NUMBER 

OF PEOPLE IN OUR GROUP? 

Some groups will choose to close once they have reached a 

predetermined, maximum number of people. Some groups will 

continue to add people. Sub-grouping is a strategy, which helps in 

this process. With this strategy, a group may have eighteen people 

meet together for snacks and fellowship and then break into 

two groups of nine, for example, once the discussion starts. This 

strategy allows a group to ease into multiplying. 

SHOULD WE HAVE DINNER WITH OUR MEETING? 

Ultimately, this is a group decision. Be aware that having a dinner 

will typically add significantly to the meeting time. If you have a 

dinner together, decide beforehand as a group how the evening will 

flow (i.e. Have dinner from 5 pm to 6 pm and then have the normal 

meeting time from 6 pm to 8 pm). In general, we would recommend 

not having a dinner with every meeting. Instead, consider having a 

dinner periodically throughout the year. Some groups will have a 

special dinner together after they finish a particular curriculum. 

WHAT SHOULD WE DO AFTER THIS STUDY IS COMPLETED? 

At the end of this study, each group member may decide if he 

or she wants to continue on as a group for another study. Some 

groups launch relationships for years to come, and others are 

stepping-stones into another group experience. Either way, enjoy 

the journey. 

WHEN SHOULD I CALL THE LIFE GROUP MINISTRY TEAM 

FOR HELP? 

Don’t feel like it has to be something big or really important to 

call us. We love to be a sounding board for you. Call us early. Call 

us often. What if this group is not working for us? 

You’re not alone! This could be the result of a personality 

conflict, life stage difference, geographical distance, level of 

spiritual maturity, or any number of things. Relax. Pray for God’s 

direction, and at the end of this six-week study, decide whether 

to continue with this group or find another. You don’t typically 

buy the first car you look at or marry the first person you date, 

and the same goes with a group. However, don’t bail out before 

the six weeks are up—God might have something to teach you. 

Also, don’t run from conflict or prejudge people before you have 

given them a chance. God is still working in your life, too! 

WHAT DO I DO IF PEOPLE ARE NOT SHOWING UP 

CONSISTENTLY? 

Define mutual expectations early on with the Life Group Ground 

Rules. If attendance becomes an issue with someone in the 

group, address it with them in person, not via email. Contact 

someone in the Life Group ministry prior to approaching the 

person to develop a plan and to have someone praying for you. 

Again, in this type of situation, err on the side of grace. Be in a 

place emotionally where you are more saddened that you didn’t 

get to see the person at group than you are frustrated that they 

didn’t show up. 

If you decide to continue, the Life Group ministry team will make 

recommendations on what to study next. They also will equip you 

with what you will need to successfully continue as a group. 


Appendices

WE SPEND A HUGE AMOUNT OF TIME ON PRAYER 

REQUESTS. DO YOU HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS? 

Have people send their prayer requests via email prior to the 

meeting. Emphasize the idea of praying for each other during 

the week. Explain that in the interest of time, everyone will pray 

for the one or two most pressing things for each person, but a 

more comprehensive email will be sent out so that the group can 

pray more thoroughly throughout the week. Have people share 

requests and pray together in smaller groups. 

IS IT OK TO INVITE SOMEONE TO OUR GROUP THAT 

DOESN’T GO TO OUR CHURCH? 

If the person does not have a home church, Life Group can be a 

great ‘on-ramp’ to the Christian faith and to getting connected 

to a local church. If the person has a home church, ideally they 

would get connected in their own church. Joining a Life Group 

provides a way to get to know fellow church attendees on a 

deeper level. While this is the general principle, there are times 

when it may be appropriate to make an exception. 

Life Group Ground Rules 

CLEAR PURPOSE: 

Northview Life Groups are all about living out the three core 

values of Spiritual Growth, Relationships, and Reaching Out. 

Go around the room, each person reading one rule. Agreeing 

to these rules will help everyone get the most out of the group 

experience. (Helpful Hint: It is a good idea to review these ground 

rules when new people join the group and/or you begin a new 

study.) 

WE AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING GROUND RULES AND 

EXPECTATIONS: 

SHOW UP: 

I’ll prioritize the scheduled Life Group Meeting and call in advance 

if I’m going to miss the meeting. 

SHOW RESPEC T: 

I’ll accept everyone without judgment. I’ll listen well and refrain 

from giving quick answers, simple fixes, or engaging in side 

conversations. 

BE SELF-AWARE: 

I’ll stretch myself to be as open and honest as I can with my 

perspectives and experiences. I understand that some of us are 

talkers and some are quieter, so I’ll be aware of not dominating 

the discussion or always leaving the weight of it to others. 


Appendices

TAKE OWNERSHIP: 

I’ll do my part to help create a great group (translation: “I won’t 

stick the host/leader with all the work”). The group will be as 

good as I make it… I’ll share roles within the group and help 

challenge everyone to grow. 

FACE CONFLICT: 

Community can be very messy, and conflicts may arise. I’ll offer 

grace to others and won’t leave the group over disagreements, 

realizing that God might use conflict in my spiritual formation in 

some way I don’t currently understand. 

KEEP IT CONFIDENTIAL: 

I’ll vigorously respect confidentiality. What I hear and say in 

the group stays in the group (unless a person is a danger to 

themselves or others or engaged in illegal activity*). 

AS A GROUP DISCUSS HOW YOU WOULD LIKE TO: 

• Grow spiritually 

• Connect relationally 

• Serve intentionally 

ALSO DISCUSS: 

• Where we will meet? 

• How we will handle child care? 

• Meeting time (From/Until) 

• Day we will meet 

*Seeking guidance from one of the pastors at Northview about a Life 

Group situation is not considered a violation of group confidentiality. 

Memory Verse Cards 

SESSION ONE 

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility 

consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3) 

SESSION TWO 

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings 

healing. (Proverbs 12:18) 

SESSION THREE 

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the 

training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4) 

SESSION FOUR 

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn 

from it. (Proverbs 22:6) 

SESSION FIVE 

Godliness with contentment is great gain. (1 Timothy 6:6) 

SESSION SIX 

For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these 

members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we, though 

many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. 

(Romans 12:4-5) 


Appendices

PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT 

CLIP AND REVIEW 

THE MEMORY 

VERSES ON THE 

OTHER SIDE OF 

THIS PAGE. 


Appendices

LIFE GROUP ROSTER 

NOTES 

Name Phone Email 


Appendices

Family Matters

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