Shamless

RUSTY GEORGE

CONTENTS 

INTRODUCTION 4 

USING THIS WORKBOOK (READ THIS FIRST) 5 

OUTLINE FOR EACH SESSION 6 

SESSIONS 

SESSION ONE: WHEN MY PAST BECOMES MY PRESENT 11 

SESSION TWO: WHEN PERFECTION ISN’T POSSIBLE 30 

SESSION THREE: WHEN CAUGHT IN THE COMPARISON TRAP 46 

SESSION FOUR: WHEN I LIE TO MYSELF 62 

SESSION FIVE: WHEN I’M TOO COOL TO DANCE 78 

SESSION SIX: WHEN I NEED TO BE NEEDED 90 

APPENDICES 

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS 104 

LIFE GROUP AGREEMENT 107 

LIFE GROUP CALENDAR 109 

SPIRITUAL PARTNERS 110 

MEMORY VERSE CARDS (CLIP AND REVIEW) 111 

PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT 113 

LIFE GROUP ROSTER 114 

LIFE GROUP LEADERS 

HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE 118 

LEADING FOR THE FIRST TIME 120 

LEADERSHIP TRAINING 122

4 SHAMELESS introduction 5 

INTRODUCTION 

We all have good intentions, and big dreams. We want to dare 

to live greatly and make a difference with our life. But something 

keeps us stuck. We don’t think of it as the reason we can’t sleep. 

We don’t think of it as the reason we keep everyone at arm’s 

length. And we never imagined it’s the root cause of our control 

issues, image management, and nagging sense of not being 

good enough. It’s a sinister thing called SHAME—and it masks 

the person God created us to be and keeps us hidden from 

the people we want to love. Join us for this new series where 

we learn how God can make us 

SHAME-LESS. 

Each week you’ll have opportunities 

to share your own ideas and 

experiences, watch a short video 

teaching on that week’s theme, 

discuss the Scriptures, learn from 

each other, and build relationships 

with others in your group. There’s 

also lots of extra material if you want to really dig in, including 

options for further study and questions for life application. 

At the end of each session, you will find daily devotions that will 

allow you to slow down and reflect throughout the week. You 

will then have a chance to respond by journaling. By doing this 

study, you’ll be learning with a large group in church, a small 

group in a living room, and alone with God on your own. We’re 

excited about what God has in store for you and your group over 

the next six weeks, and we’re praying that you would experience 

God in a fresh way as a result of this study. 

WE ALL 

HAVE GOOD 

INTENTIONS, 

AND BIG 

DREAMS!


USING THIS 

WORKBOOK 

TOOLS TO HELP YOU HAVE A 

GREAT LIFE GROUP EXPERIENCE! 

1. Notice in the Table of Contents there are three sections: 

(1) Sessions; (2) Appendices; and (3) Life Group Leaders. 

Familiarize yourself with the Appendices. Some of them will 

be used in the sessions themselves. 

2. If you are facilitating/leading or co-leading a life group, the 

section Life Group Leaders will encourage you and help 

you avoid many common obstacles to effective life group 

leadership. 

3. Use this workbook as a guide, not a straightjacket. If the 

group responds to the lesson in an unexpected but honest 

way, go with that. If you think of a better question than the 

next one in the lesson, ask it. Take to heart the insights 

included in the Frequently Asked Questions pages and the 

Life Group Leaders section. 

4. Enjoy your life group experience and have fun together. 

5. Pray before each session—for your group members, for 

your time together, for wisdom and insights. 

6. Read the Outline for Each Session on the next pages so 

that you understand how the sessions will flow. 

OUTLINE FOR 

EACH SESSION 

A typical group session will include the following sections. Read 

through this to get a clear idea of how each group meeting will 

be structured: 

WEEKLY MEMORY VERSES. 

Each session opens with a memory verse that emphasizes an 

important truth from the session. This is an optional exercise, 

but we believe that memorizing Scripture can be a vital part of 

filling our minds with God’s will for our lives. We encourage you 

to give this important habit a try. The verses for our six sessions 

are also listed in the Appendix. 

INTRODUCTION. 

Each lesson opens with a brief thought that will help you prepare 

for the session and get you thinking about the particular subject 

you will explore with your group. Make it a practice to read 

these before the session. You may want to have the group read 

them aloud. 

SHARE YOUR STORY. 

The foundation for spiritual growth is an intimate connection 

with God and His family. You build that connection by sharing 

your story with a few people who really know you and who earn 

your trust. This section includes some simple questions to get 

you talking—letting you share as much or as little of your story 

as you feel comfortable doing. You can get to know your whole 

group by using the icebreaker question(s), or you can check in 

with one or two group members, your spiritual partner(s), for a 

deeper connection and encouragement in your spiritual journey.


HEAR GOD’S STORY. 

In this section, you’ll read the Bible and listen to teaching, in order 

to hear God’s story—and begin to see how His story aligns 

with yours. When the study directs you to, you’ll watch a short 

teaching segment. You’ll then have an opportunity to read a passage 

of Scripture, and discuss both the teaching and the text. 

You won’t focus on accumulating information but on how you 

should live in light of the Word of God. We want to help you 

apply the insights from Scripture practically and creatively, from 

your heart as well as your head. At the end of the day, allowing 

the timeless truths from God’s Word to transform our lives in 

Christ should be your greatest aim. 

STUDY NOTES. 

This brief section provides additional commentary, background 

or insights on the passage you’ll study in the Hear God’s Story 

section. 

CREATE A NEW STORY. 

God wants you to be a part of His Kingdom—to weave your story 

into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way 

rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should 

happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin 

to change our direction. This is where the Bible’s instructions to 

“be doers of the Word, not just hearers” (James 1:22) comes into 

play. Many people skip over this aspect of the Christian life because 

it’s scary, relationally awkward, or simply too much work 

for their busy schedules. But Jesus wanted all of His disciples to 

know Him personally, carry out His commands, and help outsiders 

connect with Him. This doesn’t necessarily mean preaching 

on street corners. It could mean welcoming newcomers, hosting 

a short-term group in your home, or walking through this study 

with a friend. In this study, you’ll have an opportunity to go beyond 

Bible study to biblical living. This section will also have 

a question or two that will challenge you to live 

out your faith by serving others, sharing your faith, 

and worshiping God. 

DIGGING DEEPER. 

If you have time and want to dig deeper into more 

Bible passages about the topic at hand, we’ve 

provided additional passages and questions, 

which you can use either during the meeting, or 

as homework. Your group may choose to read 

and prepare before each meeting in order to cover 

more biblical material. Or, group members can use 

the additional study section during the week after 

the meeting. If you prefer not to do study homework, 

this section will provide you with plenty to 

discuss within the group. These options allow individuals 

or the whole group to expand their study 

while still accommodating those who can’t do 

homework or are new to your group. 

DAILY DEVOTIONS. 

Each week on the Daily Devotions pages, we provide 

Scriptures to read and reflect on between 

sessions—a month’s worth of reflections to keep 

God’s Word near your heart. This provides you 

with a chance to slow down, read just a small 

portion of Scripture each day, and reflect and 

pray through it. You’ll then have a chance to journal 

your response to what you’ve read. Use this 

section to seek God on your own throughout the 

week. This time at home should begin and end 

with prayer. Don’t get in a hurry; take enough time 

to hear God’s direction.

10 SHAMELESS When My Past Becomes My Present 11 

SESSION1 

WHEN MY PAST 

BECOMES MY 

PRESENT. 

MEMORY VERSE • JOHN 4:14 

“… whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, 

the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling 

up to eternal life.” 

SHAME IS THAT THING THAT STAYS WITH 

US AND THAT WE CARRY WITH US AND IT 

SEEMS TO NEVER GO AWAY. CERTAINLY 

WHEN IT’S SOMETHING FROM OUR PAST 

WE KEEP IT IN THE PAST. WE SPEND A LOT 

OF TIME TRYING TO KEEP IT CONCEALED. 

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IT BECOMES OUR 

PRESENT? THE STORY WE WANT TO TALK 

ABOUT TODAY IS FROM JOHN 4 WHERE 

JESUS INTERACTS WITH A SAMARITAN 

WOMAN. SHE NEEDED SOMEONE TO 

SPEAK INTO HER LIFE. SHE NEEDED TO 

KNOW THAT THE THINGS SHE DID IN HER 

PAST DO NOT DEFINE WHO SHE IS.

12 SHAMELESS 

When My Past Becomes My Present 13 

SHARE 

YOUR 

STORY 

EACH OF US HAS A 

STORY. THE EVENTS 

OF OUR LIVES—GOOD, 

BAD, WONDERFUL OR 

CHALLENGING—HAVE 

SHAPED WHO WE ARE. 

GOD KNOWS YOUR STORY, 

AND HE INTENDS TO 

REDEEM IT—TO USE EVERY 

STRUGGLE AND EVERY JOY 

TO ULTIMATELY BRING YOU 

TO HIMSELF. WHEN WE 

SHARE OUR STORIES WITH 

OTHERS, WE GIVE THEM 

THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE 

GOD AT WORK. 

BEGIN YOUR TIME TOGETHER BY USING THE FOLLOWING 

QUESTIONS TO GET PEOPLE TALKING. 

1. What brought you here? What do you hope to get out of 

this group? 

When we share our stories, 

we also realize we are not 

alone—that we have common 

experiences and thoughts, 

and that others can understand 

what we are going 

through. Your story can encourage 

someone else. And 

telling it can lead to a path of 

freedom for you and for those 

you share it with. 

Open your group with prayer. 

This should be a brief, simple 

prayer, in which you invite 

God to give you insight as 

you study. You can pray for 

specific requests at the end 

of the meeting, or stop momentarily 

to pray if a particular 

situation comes up during 

your discussion. 

Before you start this first 

meeting, get contact information 

for every participant. 

Take time to pass around a 

copy of the Life Group Roster 

on page 114, a sheet of paper, 

or one of you pass your 

Study Guide, opened to the 

Life Group Roster. Ask someone 

to make copies or type up 

a list with everyone’s information 

and email it to the group 

during the week. 

2. What’s your usual approach to meeting new people? 

a. To be honest, it’s pretty scary for me. 

b. I’m cautious at first, but when I feel comfortable I 

open up. 

c. I’ve never really met a stranger—what do you want 

to know?

14 SHAMELESS 


Whether your group is new or ongoing, it’s always 

important to reflect on and review your 

values together. On page 107 is a Life Group 

Agreement with the values we’ve found most 

useful in sustaining healthy, balanced groups. 

We recommend that you choose one or two 

values—ones you haven’t previously focused 

on or have room to grow in—to emphasize 

during this study. Choose ones that will take 

your group to the next stage of intimacy and 

spiritual health. 

If your group is new, welcome newcomers. 

Introduce everyone—you may even want to 

have nametags for your first meeting. 

We recommend you rotate host homes on a 

regular basis and let the hosts lead the meeting. 

Studies show that healthy groups rotate 

leadership. This helps to develop every member’s 

ability to shepherd a few people in a safe 

environment. Even Jesus gave others the opportunity 

to serve alongside him (Mark 6:30- 

44). Look at the FAQs in the Appendix for additional 

information about hosting or leading 

the group. 

The Life Group Calendar on page 109 is a 

tool for planning who will host and lead each 

meeting. Take a few minutes to plan hosts and 

leaders for your remaining meetings. Don’t 

skip this important step! It will revolutionize 

your group. 

WATCH 

THE 

VIDEO 

USE THE SPACE PROVIDED 

BELOW TO RECORD KEY 

THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, 

AND THINGS YOU WANT TO 

REMEMBER OR FOLLOW UP 

ON. AFTER WATCHING THE 

VIDEO FOR SESSION ONE, 

HAVE SOMEONE READ THE 

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS IN THE 

HEAR GOD’S STORY SECTION 

AND DIRECT THE DISCUSSION 

AMONG THE GROUP. AS YOU 

GO THROUGH EACH OF THE 

SUBSEQUENT SECTIONS, ASK 

SOMEONE ELSE TO READ THE 

QUESTIONS AND DIRECT 

THE DISCUSSION.

16 SHAMELESS 


HEAR 

GOD’S 

STORY 

Some people think “emotion 

will sustain devotion”—that 

Christianity is a matter of moving 

from one spiritual high to the 

next, and that if you can sustain 

these feelings it will be easy to 

follow Christ. 

Unfortunately, life is sometimes 

hard, and it’s unrealistic to expect 

your emotions to drive 

your spiritual life. Instead, you 

need to be grounded in God’s 

Word, in daily communication 

with him in prayer, and in connection 

to other believers who 

can strengthen your faith. Life 

is full of mountains and valleys, 

but God designed us to travel 

the path together. 

READ JOHN 4:4-30 ALOUD. 

1. Describe a time when you had a 

conversation when you could be truly 

authentic and share something that you 

felt shameful about—a secret you’ve 

been hiding. There is no need to get into 

particulars, just share about how it felt 

to unburden yourself and to unload the 

shame you felt. 

2. How was your life different after you no 

longer carried that secret?


Let’s read about another person Jesus encountered in Jerusalem 

who carried a shameful secret around with her. 

READ JOHN 8:2-11 ALOUD. 

1. Everyone knew about this woman’s shame. Jesus knew it, 

too. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. How would 

you feel when the great Teacher, Jesus stood before you as 

you were about to be punished for your sins? 

STUDY 

NOTES 

WHY DID THE JEWISH PEOPLE AVOID CONTACT WITH THE 

SAMARITAN PEOPLE? 

2. How would you feel after Jesus set you free, not just from 

your punishment, but from your shame? 

3. Jesus didn’t whitewash her sin. He didn’t ask her to defend 

herself. He acknowledged the sin, told her it was wrong 

and told her to change her life. Describe a time in your life 

(again, no particulars needed) when you were given a much 

lighter punishment than you expected. What impact did 

that act of mercy have on your life? 

Seven centuries before Jesus visited with the Samaritan woman 

at the well in John 4, an enemy army from the ancient Assyrian 

Empire conquered the northern part of Israel. The battle 

strategy of the Assyrians included dispersing the native peoples 

so that there would be no chance of a revolution. The Assyrians 

captured the able-bodied men from Israel and moved them 

to another place they had conquered. Likewise, they took the 

able-bodied men from that place and moved them to Israel. 

So, in Samaria—in the northern part of Israel—the Israelite 

women who lost their husbands desperately needed to find new 

husbands. In that time and place, a woman could not have a job, 

own her home, or have any money of her own. In that time and 

place, a woman absolutely needed a husband to survive. Over 

time, the foreign men who were displaced by the Assyrians to 

Samaria married the Israelite women. The southern part of Israel 

remained intact for the most part and the people there chose 

to disassociate themselves with these mixed-race Samaritans. 

After several centuries the choice to disassociate became ingrained 

in the Jewish culture so much so that the Jews actually 

avoided crossing Samaria in order to reach Galilee to the north. 

So, when Jesus went through Samaria, this was counter-cultural 

and quite shocking.


CREATE 

A NEW 

STORY 

God wants you to be part of His 

kingdom—to weave your story 

into his. That will mean change— 

to go His way rather than your 

own. This won’t happen overnight, 

but it should happen steadily. By 

starting with small, simple choices, 

we begin to change our direction. 

The Holy Spirit helps us along 

the way—giving us gifts to serve 

the body, offering us insights into 

Scripture, and challenging us to 

love not only those around us but 

those far from God. 

In this section, talk about how 

you will apply the wisdom you’ve 

learned from the teaching and 

Bible study. Then think about 

practical steps you can take in 

the coming week to live out what 

you’ve learned. 

1. What is something that you did when you were a child that 

you kept a secret from your parents? 

2. When you eventually told them your secret, how did that 

conversation go? 

3. Talk about the freedom of unburdening yourself even in the 

face of potential or actual punishment. 

4. If you are ready to share a burden that has been weighing 

you down and causing you to feel shame you can do that 

now. Jesus is here with us to bring not only mercy but 

healing truth. 

5. If you are not prepared to share that’s ok. Jesus is always 

ready to hear from you. You can tell Him anything, anytime, 

anywhere. He won’t shrink from the truth nor will He 

withhold mercy. He’ll attack your burden with you to bring 

cleansing, healing and restoration.


TAKE A LOOK AT THE CIRCLES OF LIFE DIAGRAM BELOW AND 

WRITE THE NAMES OF TWO OR THREE PEOPLE YOU KNOW 

WHO NEED TO KNOW JESUS SO HE CAN CLEAN AWAY THEIR 

SHAME. COMMIT TO PRAYING FOR GOD’S GUIDANCE AND 

AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHARE WITH EACH PERSON. PERHAPS 

THEY WOULD BE OPEN TO JOINING THE GROUP. SHARE YOUR 

LISTS WITH THE GROUP SO YOU CAN ALL BE PRAYING FOR THE 

PEOPLE YOU’VE IDENTIFIED. 

Also consider someone—in this group or outside 

it—that you can begin going deeper with in 

an intentional way. This might be your mom or 

dad, a cousin, an aunt or uncle, a roommate, a 

college buddy, or a neighbor. Choose someone 

who might be open to “doing life” with you at 

a deeper level and pray about 

that opportunity. 

This week how will you interact 

with the Bible? Can you 

commit to spending time in 

daily prayer or study of God’s 

Word? You can use the Daily 

Devotions section to guide 

you. Tell the group how you 

plan to follow Jesus this week, 

and then, at your next meeting, 

talk about your progress 

and challenges. 

Stack your hands just like a 

sports team does in the huddle 

and commit to taking a 

risk and going deeper in your 

group and in your relationships 

with each other. 

CAN YOU 

COMMIT TO 

SPENDING 

TIME IN 

DAILY 

PRAYER 

OR STUDY 

OF GOD’S 

WORD? 

Close your meeting with prayer. Ask, “How can 

we pray for you this week?” Invite everyone 

to share, but don’t force the issue. Be sure to 

write prayer requests on your Prayer and Praise 

Report on page 113.


DIGGING 

DEEPER 

If you feel God nudging you to go 

deeper, take some time before the 

next meeting to dig into His Word. 

Explore the Bible passages related 

to this session’s theme on your own 

and jot your reflections in a journal 

or in this study guide. A great way to 

gain insight on a passage is to read 

it in several different translations. 

You may want to use a Bible app or 

website to compare translations. 

The Bible is filled with regular people 

who make disastrous mistakes, who 

take a wrong path, and who blatantly 

live in opposition to God. Lots 

of the people we read about in the 

Bible eventually bring their shame 

to Jesus. Jesus acknowledges the 

error of their ways, sets them back 

on their feet, dusts them off and 

sends them back into the world with 

a renewed sense of who they are in 

Jesus’ eyes. We’ve already talked 

about two women; let’s now spend 

some time with two men who find 

themselves shamed. 

READ LUKE 19:1-10. 

A tax collector was required to send a certain amount of money 

to the ruling Roman government. It was a common practice for 

a corrupt tax collector to extort extra money from the people to 

provide for his own wealth. 

1. What did Zacchaeus promise to do? 

2. What was Jesus’ response? 

3. What happened that Jesus said salvation had come to 

Zacchaeus? 

The word “repent” has a negative connotation in our society. 

But it simply means to turn around. It means to turn away from 

the wrong things you’re doing and do the right things. For 

Zacchaeus this meant to stop cheating the people and to treat 

the people fairly. 

1. What is something that you’re doing that you need to turn 

away from? 

2. What is the right thing that you can do in its place? 

When you acknowledge your wrong-doing to Jesus, he will not 

shrink from it. He’ll meet it head-on alongside you. Just like Jesus 

did not condemn the woman at the well, the woman caught in 

adultery, or Zacchaeus, neither will He condemn you when you 

choose to repent.


READ ACTS 9:1-22. 

In the first century Jewish culture it was customary for men to 

have two names: A Jewish (or Hebrew) name and a Roman 

name. (The Roman government ruled Israel at this time.) The man 

who we know as Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament, 

who carried the gospel far and wide during his ministry, had two 

names. Saul was his Jewish name. Paul was his Roman name. 

In this passage, you’ll see that he is called Saul. Later in the 

book of Acts, you’ll see that he is called more frequently by his 

Roman name, Paul. 

Why was Saul going to Damascus (a city north of Israel)? 

On the way to Damascus Saul had a dramatic encounter with 

Jesus that completely changed his life. Saul repented of his 

wrong-doing against the Jesus and spent the rest of his life 

working for Jesus. 

1. What did Jesus say Saul would be doing (verses 15-16)? 

2. Jesus had a job for Saul to do. Jesus has a job for you to 

do, too. If you already know what that job is, are you doing 

it? Share about your work at your next life group meeting. 

3. If you don’t know about the work that Jesus has for you, 

you can learn about it by: 

a. Praying and asking Jesus to show you. 

b. Talking to your friends and church leaders to find out 

what they think you can use your gifts and talents for. 

c. Reading about social issues that you are 

passionate about and finding a way to get 

involved to bring justice to unjust situations. 

If you’ve accepted Jesus as your Lord and your 

Savior, turning your life toward Him is a natural outcome 

of your salvation. If you have not yet accepted 

Jesus as your Lord and your Savior, the members 

of your group would be delighted to help you learn 

more about how to do that. If you’re ready right now 

you can pray this prayer: 

Jesus, I want to be free from shame, to be unburdened 

by You. I want you to come into my life and change it 

so that I follow your lead from now 

on. I know that I’ve done things 

that don’t please You, things that 

separate me from You. I want to 

accept your offer of forgiveness. 

You’ve made my amends with 

God for the sins that I’ve done and 

I want to accept your offer of that 

payment on my behalf. Please be 

TURNING YOUR 

LIFE TOWARD 

[JESUS] IS 

A NATURAL 

OUTCOME OF YOUR 

SALVATION. 

my Savior and reconcile me to God. I know that this 

new life is a process and along the way I will stumble 

and fall off course. But I ask You now to pick me 

back up and set me back on course. I want my heart 

to be surrendered to what You want me to accomplish. 

I know I will need your power to accomplish the things 

You want me to do. Please be my Lord and lead me in 

all aspects of my life. Thank You for loving me before I 

loved You. Amen. 

If you just prayed this prayer for the first time, be sure 

to tell your life group next time you see them. They 

will want to celebrate with you!


DAILY 

DEVOTIONS 

DAY ONE: READ PSALM 31:17. 

Allow Jesus’ voice to be the only one that defines you. His is the 

only voice that can truly combine truth with love. 

DAY FOUR: READ PSALM 130:3-4. 

God doesn’t keep a record but serving Him is a natural outcome 

of his gift of forgiveness. How are you serving Him? How are you 

inspiring others to serve Him? 

DAY TWO: READ PSALM 25:1-3. 

What does it mean to you to put your trust in Jesus? 

DAY FIVE: READ PSALM 103:8-13. 

God not only forgives us, He chooses not to dwell on our errors. 

How can you do the same for others who you have forgiven? 

DAY THREE: READ MARK 3:28. 

Focus on the first part of this verse: “…All sin and blasphemy 

can be forgiven…” Do you feel that your sin is just too big to be 

forgiven? Read Jesus’ words again and allow Him to heal you 

with forgiveness and repentance.

30 SHAMELESS When Perfection Isn’t Possible 31 

SESSION2 

WHEN 

PERFECTION ISN’T 

POSSIBLE 

MEMORY VERSE • EXODUS 4:11 

The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? 

Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes 

them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?” 

MOSES DIDN’T THINK HE COULD 

BE USED BY GOD DUE TO HIS PAST 

AND HIS INABILITY TO SPEAK. BUT 

GOD SHOWS THAT EVEN IN OUR 

IMPERFECTIONS HE CAN USE US.

32 SHAMELESS 

When Perfection Isn’t Possible 33 

SHARE 

YOUR 

STORY 

BEGIN YOUR TIME TOGETHER BY USING THE FOLLOWING 

QUESTIONS TO GET PEOPLE TALKING: 

1. Has anyone struggled with perfectionism? How so? 

As we said last week, when we 

share our stories with others, 

we give them the opportunity 

to see God at work. Your story 

is being shaped, even in this 

moment, by being part of this 

group. In fact, few things can 

shape us more than community. 

When we share our stories, we 

can encourage someone else, 

and learn. We experience the 

presence of God, as He helps 

us be brave enough to reveal 

our thoughts and feelings. Open 

your group with prayer. This 

should be a brief, simple prayer, 

in which you invite God to be 

with you as you meet. You can 

pray for specific requests at the 

end of the meeting, or stop momentarily 

to pray if a particular 

situation comes up during your 

discussion. 

2. Is anyone a procrastinator? Does your procrastination have 

anything to do with perfectionism?


WATCH 

THE 

VIDEO 

WATCH THE VIDEO FOR THIS 

SESSION NOW. USE THE SPACE 

PROVIDED BELOW TO RECORD 

KEY THOUGHTS, QUESTIONS, 


REMEMBER OR FOLLOW UP ON. 

AFTER YOU FINISH WATCHING 

THE VIDEO, HAVE SOMEONE 

READ THE DISCUSSION 

QUESTIONS IN THE HEAR GOD’S 

STORY SECTION AND DIRECT 

THE DISCUSSION AMONG THE 

GROUP. AS YOU GO THROUGH 

EACH OF THE SUBSEQUENT 

SECTIONS, ASK SOMEONE ELSE 

TO READ THE QUESTIONS AND 

DIRECT THE DISCUSSION. 

HEAR 

GOD’S 

STORY 

How can we become part of God’s story? By aligning our stories 

with His and understanding what it means to follow Him. Use 

the following questions to guide your discussion of the teaching 

and stories you just experienced, and the Bible passage below. 

READ EXODUS 3:10-22 ALOUD. 

List Moses’ objections and God’s responses in the table below: 

Scripture Passage Moses’ Objection God’s Response 

Exodus 3:11 

Exodus 3:13 

Exodus 4:1 

Exodus 4:10 

Exodus 4:13


1. What does the interaction between God 

and Moses tell you about God’s response to 

your objections? 

STUDY 

NOTES 

2. If God responds with helpful information, 

helpful examples, patience and persistence, 

why are we so afraid to step out when He 

asks us to? 

The mountain where God spoke to Moses from 

the burning bush is called Horeb in Exodus 3:1. 

As you continue to read your Bible, you’ll discover 

that this mountain is also called the Mountain of 

God and Mount Sinai. 

Mount Sinai was a busy place and some pretty 

famous things happened there. It is where: 

• God led the Hebrew people after they 

escaped from Egypt (Exodus 19). 

• God gave Moses the Ten 

Commandments and instructions as well 

as the plans for the Tabernacle (Exodus 

20, 24, 25-31). 

3. What is God asking you to do for Him? 

• Aaron made the golden calf (Exodus 32). 

• God showed Moses his glory (Exodus 

33). 

• Where Elijah rested when he ran from 

King Ahab (1 Kings 19). 

4. Are you doing it? What’s keeping you from 

stepping forward? 

• Where Elijah heard God in a gentle 

whisper after an earthquake and a fire (1 

Kings 19).


CREATE 

A NEW 

STORY 

IN THIS SECTION, TALK ABOUT 

HOW YOU WILL APPLY THE 

WISDOM YOU’VE LEARNED FROM 

THE TEACHING AND BIBLE STUDY. 

THEN THINK ABOUT PRACTICAL 

STEPS YOU CAN TAKE IN THE 

COMING WEEK TO LIVE OUT WHAT 

YOU’VE LEARNED. 

4. Take turns reading these short Scripture passages, then 

discuss how all of these things can be accomplished right 

where you live, work and play—despite your imperfections. 

a. Matthew 28:19-20 “Therefore go and make disciples of 

all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and 

of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to 

obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am 

with you always, to the very end of the age.” 

1. What imperfections do you see in yourself? 

2. Moses felt that he couldn’t speak well, yet he is known, 

throughout centuries and across the globe, as the guy who 

faced down the powerful king of Egypt and freed God’s 

people from slavery. How has God used your imperfection 

in surprising ways? 

3. How can you encourage one another to use their gifts, 

talents, and imperfections to do the work God has called 

each of you to do? 

b. John 15:16-17 “You did not choose me, but I chose 

you and appointed you so that you might go and bear 

fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you 

ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my 

command: Love each other.” 

c. Acts 1:8 “But you will receive power when the Holy 

Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in 

Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the 

ends of the earth.” 

d. Ephesians 2:10 For we are God’s handiwork, created 

in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared 

in advance for us to do. 

e. James 1:27 Religion that God our Father accepts as 

pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and 

widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being 

polluted by the world. 

CLOSE YOUR MEETING WITH PRAYER. ASK, “HOW CAN WE PRAY FOR YOU 

THIS WEEK?” INVITE EVERYONE TO SHARE, BUT DON’T FORCE THE ISSUE. 

BE SURE TO WRITE PRAYER REQUESTS ON YOUR PRAYER AND PRAISE 

REPORT ON PAGE 113.

40 SHAMELESS 

When Perfection Isn’t Possible 41 

READ EXODUS 4:14-31. 

1. How did God equip Moses for his mission? 

DIGGING 

DEEPER 

2. How has God equipped you for your mission? 

If you feel God is nudging you to 

go deeper, take some time between 

now and our next meeting 

to dig into His Word. Explore the 

Bible passages related to this session’s 

theme on your own, jotting 

your reflections in a journal or in 

this study guide. Want to go deeper? 

Select a few verses and try 

paraphrasing them, writing them 

in your own words. If you like, 

share them with the group the 

next time you meet. 

Let’s pick up in Moses’ story 

where we left off. It’s one thing to 

hear Moses’ objections and God’s 

solutions. It’s another to hear how 

God and Moses worked together, 

along with Aaron, to bring about 

God’s goal of delivering the Hebrew 

people from slavery. 

3. Why did the people believe Moses and Aaron? 

4. When have you told people about specific times when God 

worked in your life? Did having specific examples help the 

people believe your story? 

5. Keeping a journal of the times in your life when God moved 

to bring about a specific result will help you remember them 

all. Then when someone needs to hear one of your stories, 

you’ll be able to recall it.


SPEND THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS READING ABOUT THE 

INTERACTIONS BETWEEN MOSES AND GOD AND MOSES AND 

PHARAOH IN EXODUS CHAPTER 5 THROUGH CHAPTER 12. 

DON’T GET BOGGED DOWN IN THE DETAILS RIGHT NOW. WHILE 

YOU READ THINK ABOUT MOSES AND AARON. 

1. How did Moses’ and Aaron’s boldness grow over time as 

God did exactly what He said He’d do? 

DAILY 

DEVOTIONS 

DAY ONE: READ EXODUS 3:10-11. 

You may feel inadequate to God’s call, but in his power your 

inadequacies are turned into strength of faith. Next time you feel 

like you want to say “No” to God, write Jesus’ words from 2 

Corinthians 12:9 (“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power 

is made perfect in weakness.”) on a 3x5 card and tape 

it to your bathroom mirror. Read it every morning as you get 

ready for your day. 

2. In your own walk with God how has your boldness 

increased over time? 

DAY TWO: READ EXODUS 3:13-14. 

Share your insights with your group next time you meet. Your 

story will be an encouragement to the other members of 

your life group. 

Moses asked God who He was and God answered, “I am.” Next 

time you ask yourself who you are, whether you’re good enough 

to serve God, whether you’re enough, remember who you are. 

You are God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). Sometime today, 

look up the word “masterpiece.” You might want to write that 

verse on a 3x5 card, too.


DAY THREE: READ EXODUS 4:1. 

Every Christ-follower is called to tell the world about Jesus. 

Many times the people don’t believe us. Throughout your day 

today, say one-sentence prayers for the people you encounter, 

that they will believe in Jesus. 

DAY FOUR: READ EXODUS 4:10. 

Moses had an imperfection. He couldn’t speak well. But God 

had a work-around for that. Ask God today to show you the 

work-around for your imperfection. 

DAY FIVE: READ EXODUS 4:13. 

Moses, exasperated, asked God to just send someone else. 

When have you asked God to choose someone else? Today, 

think about the blessings that you miss out on when you decline 

God’s invitation to work with Him. Think about what would have 

happened to the Hebrew people if Moses had said, “No.” What 

would have happened to Moses? You probably wouldn’t even 

know who he was. But you do know who he was because he 

said, “Yes.” Say “Yes” next time God asks.

46 SHAMELESS When Caught in the Comparison Trap 47 

SESSION3 

WHEN CAUGHT IN 

THE COMPARISON 

TRAP 

MEMORY VERSE • EPHESIANS 4:16 

From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every 

supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each 

part does its work. 

THE COMPARISON TRAP IS A DANGER- 

OUS PLACE TO FALL INTO. WE COMPARE 

OUR CAR TO SOMEONE ELSE’S CAR. WE 

GO OVER TO A FRIEND’S HOUSE FOR DIN- 

NER AND COMPARE THEIR HOME TO OUR 

OWN. WE RANK OURSELVES ON WHETHER 

WE MAKE MORE OR LESS MONEY THAN 

SOMEONE ELSE. SHAME CAN MAKE US 

FALL INTO THE COMPARISON TRAP AND 

MAKE US FEEL THAT WE’RE NOT ENOUGH.


SHARE 

YOUR 

STORY 

OPEN YOUR GROUP WITH PRAYER. 

THIS SHOULD BE A BRIEF, SIMPLE 

PRAYER, IN WHICH YOU INVITE GOD 

TO BE WITH YOU AS YOU MEET. YOU 

CAN PRAY FOR SPECIFIC REQUESTS 

AT THE END OF THE MEETING, OR 

STOP MOMENTARILY TO PRAY IF A 

PARTICULAR SITUATION COMES UP 

DURING YOUR DISCUSSION. 

Sharing personal stories builds deeper connections among 

group members. Begin your time together by using the following 

questions and activities to get people talking. 

1. What are some areas in your life where you compare 

yourself to other people? 

WATCH 

THE 

VIDEO 


















2. Have you ever been the object of others’ comparison? 

How so?

50 SHAMELESS 

When Caught in the Comparison Trap 51 

READ 1 SAMUEL 18:17-19 ALOUD. 

HEAR 

GOD’S 

STORY 


Saul was already angry with David 

because the women were chanting 

for David when he returned from 

battle. In this passage, David was a 

wonderful musician, too! Was there 

nothing this man couldn’t do? 

Do you ever feel like Saul—that 

there is someone in your life that 

you just can’t stand because they’re 

so good at everything they do? 

Beyond trying to kill David, Saul interfered in his relationships. 

Saul offered his daughter to David as his wife and 

when David accepted the gift of a wife, Saul snatched 

her away from David and gave her to someone else. 

1. When has your jealousy of someone caused you to 

act in a way that surprised you? 

2. When have you been the target of someone’s 

jealousy and resulting behavior? 


Saul wasn’t finished interfering in David’s relationships. 

He offered a second daughter to David as his wife. This 

time, Saul offered to change the dowry to something 

David could deliver: the Philistine army. Saul was hoping 

David would die in the battle with the Philistines. 

When have you experienced or been the object of a 

jealousy that went far beyond rational thinking?


ON THE VIDEO, MIKE TALKED ABOUT THE LAND OF –ER, 

A PLACE WHERE EVERYONE STRIVES TO BE PRETTIER OR 

RICHER OR SMARTER OR 

-ER THAN 

SOMEONE ELSE. 

1. Have you ever been to the Land of –ER? 

STUDY 

NOTES 

If David was such a great warrior why didn’t 

he just kill Saul? And why is this important? 

David’s steadfast refusal to kill King Saul, the 

Lord’s anointed king, points us to Jesus, the 

Messiah, the Christ, the Lord’s Anointed. 

2. Have you moved beyond the Land of –ER to spend some 

time on the Isle of –EST, a place where everyone needs to 

be prettiEST, richEST, smartEST, strongEST? 

3. How did you get back from these places? Or if you are you 

still there, in what way? 

The Hebrew word for “anointed” is a word 

you may recognize: messiah. And, the Greek 

word for “anointed” is another word you 

probably recognize: christ. 

Jesus wasn’t the only messiah in the 

Bible. King Saul was messiah. King 

David was messiah. 

David’s steadfast refusal to kill King Saul, 

the Lord’s anointed king, draws our attention 

forward many centuries to a time when a 

group of Jewish leaders and Roman officials 

had no qualms at all about killing David’s 

grandson, Jesus the Christ, the Messiah, the 

Lord’s Anointed King. 

Consider how many people stood by in 

shock as the Lord’s Anointed King, Jesus 

the Messiah, the Christ was killed. Knowing 

what you know about how David feels about 

the Lord’s Anointed, what would he have 

done if he was there?

54 SHAMELESS 

When Caught in the Comparison Trap 55 

CREATE 

A NEW 

STORY 

IN THIS SECTION, TALK 

ABOUT HOW YOU WILL 

APPLY THE WISDOM 

YOU’VE LEARNED IN 

THIS SESSION. 

READ LUKE 12:15-21 ALOUD. 

1. What does the rich man focus on? 

2. How does he feel about sharing with others out of his 

abundance? 

God wants you to be part of His Kingdom—to weave your story 

into His. That will mean change. It will require you to go His way 

rather than your own. This won’t happen overnight, but it should 

happen steadily. By making small, simple choices, we can begin 

to change our direction. The Holy Spirit helps us along the 

way, by giving us gifts to serve the body, offering us insights into 

Scripture, and challenging us to love not only those around us 

but those far from God. 

We’ve been talking about the Comparison Trap. The Comparison 

Trap causes the feeling of not being enough, not being good 

enough, not being smart enough. Last week we talked about 

God designing us, imperfections and all, to be used by Him just 

as we are. 

There is a certain peace associated with being content with who 

God created you to be. Contentment is the antidote to the Comparison 

Trap. Listen to what Jesus has to say about contentment. 

3. In what ways are you sharing out of your abundance with 

those who are in need? 

4. How can your group work together to meet a need out 

of your abundance of time, talent and treasure in your 

community? 

CLOSE YOUR MEETING 

WITH PRAYER.


DIGGING 

DEEPER 

Take some time between now and our 

next meeting to dig into God’s Word. 

Explore the Bible passages related to 

this session’s theme. Jot down your 

reflections in a journal or in this study 

guide. You may event want to use a 

Bible website or app to look up commentary 

on these passages. If you like, 

share what you learn with the group 

the next time you meet. 

David was the anointed King of Israel, 

but King Saul didn’t know that. Saul 

was still the political king and it seems 

from Scripture that he had no idea that 

God anointed David to take his place. 

David knew but he didn’t flaunt it. The 

prophet Samuel had anointed David to 

be King of Israel. You can read about it 

later in 1 Samuel 16. 

For now read through these Scripture 

passages to get the full picture of David’s 

faithfulness to the Lord even in 

the face of irrational jealousy. 

READ 1 SAMUEL 24:1-12. 

Given a rather embarrassing and vulnerable 

opportunity, David refused to kill King Saul, the 

Lord’s anointed. 

David had another opportunity to kill Saul 

but once again, he would not kill the Lord’s 

anointed king. 


In this episode, David and his nephew, the warrior 

Abishai, snuck into King Saul’s camp when 

everyone was asleep and had an opportunity to 

kill King Saul. But once again David refused to 

kill the Lord’s anointed. 

Even on the day that Saul died as a result of 

a battle against the Philistines, David defended 

the Lord’s anointed king. 



Saul was mortally wounded in the battle and 

left for dead. Although his trusted armor bearer 

attempted to finish off Saul—at Saul’s request 

lest he fall into enemy hands—he was still alive 

when a foreigner found him. This man had no 

qualms about killing Saul seeing his dire circumstances. 

But when the foreigner arrived at 

David’s camp to spread the news, David executed 

the foreigner because he had killed the 

Lord’s anointed.


DAVID OBVIOUSLY FELT LIKE THE TARGET OF KING SAUL’S JEALOUSY. BUT 

GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO TAKE SOME REVENGE FOR THE TORMENT 

SAUL CAUSED HIM, DAVID REFUSED AGAIN AND AGAIN. SECOND SAMUEL 

26:10-11 TELLS US THAT DAVID LEFT SAUL UP TO GOD TO DEAL WITH. 

1. How does David’s example encourage you to leave those 

who are jealous of you up to God? 

DAILY 

DEVOTIONS 

We’ve spent some time with King David during this lesson. 

Throughout this week, hang out with him in the Psalms. He 

wrote poetry from his heart, the good, the bad and the ugly. He 

laid it all out there. We get to benefit from his eloquent words as 

we wrestle with our own hearts. 

DAY ONE: READ PSALM 139. 

King David wrote this Psalm acknowledging that God had him 

firmly in his sights. 

2. How does David’s example help you overcome the 

Comparison Trap yourself? 

DAY TWO: READ PSALM 17. 

King David’s focus is wholly on God. In this Psalm he knows that 

total satisfaction comes only through God.


DAY THREE: READ PSALM 3. 

King David’s own son, Absalom, was hunting him down. Rather 

than fight back, David left the fight in God’s hands. 

DAY FOUR: READ PSALM 25. 

King David clung to God throughout his life. Although he 

made some disastrous decisions in his life, his trust in God 

never wavered. 

DAY FIVE: READ PSALM 37. 

This Psalm sounds like it was written specifically for those 

who are caught in the Comparison Trap. King David fell in; 

his contentment in the Lord got him out. The antidote for the 

Comparison Trap is contentment. The only true source of contentment 

is the Lord.

62 SHAMELESS When I Lie to Myself 63 

SESSION4 

WHEN I LIE TO 

MYSELF 

MEMORY VERSE • PSALM 139:23-24 

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my 

anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and 

lead me in the way everlasting. 

LYING TO YOURSELF CAN BE DIFFICULT, BUT 

IT’S EASY AT THE SAME TIME. YOU SAY, “IT’LL 

BE OK, NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW.” BUT THEY 

WILL KNOW. YOU SAY, “IT’LL ALL WORK OUT 

FINE.” BUT IT WON’T. SHAME WILL GET YOU 

TO LIE TO OTHER PEOPLE AND TO YOURSELF. 

THROUGH AN EPISODE IN THE STORY OF DAVID, 

WHEN HE’S RECOVERING FROM AN AFFAIR AND 

THEN MURDER, WE SEE THAT SHAME CAN BE 

DEFEATED BY TRUTH AND GRACE.

64 SHAMELESS 

When I Lie to Myself 65 

SHARE 

YOUR STORY 

Open your group with prayer. This should be a brief, simple 

prayer, in which you invite God to be with you as you meet. You 

can pray for specific requests at the end of the meeting or stop 

momentarily to pray if a particular situation comes up during 

your discussion. 

As we have said in previous lessons, sharing our personal stories 

builds deeper connections among group members. Your story 

may be exactly what another 

person needs to hear to encourage 

or strengthen them. 

And your listening to others’ 

stories is an act of love and 

kindness to them—and could 

very well help them to grow 

spiritually. 

Begin your time together by 

using the following question 

to get people talking. 

WATCH 

THE 

VIDEO 


















WHAT’S A LIE THAT YOU 

TOLD WHEN YOU WERE A 

KID THAT YOU THOUGHT 

WAS A GOOD LIE?

66 SHAMELESS 


1. What do you think was going through David’s 

mind while he was wandering around? 

HEAR 

GOD’S 

STORY 

Use the following questions to guide 

your discussion of the teaching 

from the video and the Bible passage 

below. 


David’s friends and companions 

were off to battle. We don’t know 

why David stayed home, but he did. 

So in the middle of the afternoon, 

he’s bored and wandering around 

the palace. That’s when he got himself 

into trouble. 

2. What kind of trouble have you gotten yourself 

into when you were bored and thought no one 

would find out? 

With Bathsheba pregnant, David figured that if he 

could get Uriah, Bathsheba’s husband, back to town 

to sleep with his wife, everyone would think the baby 

was Uriah’s and no one would find out what David 

did. Uriah, being more concerned about loyalty to his 

men at the battle front than he was with visiting his 

wife, returned to the battle front without seeing his 

wife at all. David escalated the damage control. When 

Uriah left, David handed him a message to give to the 

general, David’s nephew, Joab.



1. What do you think went through David’s mind when he 

heard that Uriah was dead? 

2. Remember that God’s Spirit was in David (1 Samuel 16:13). 

If you are a follower of Jesus, that same Spirit is in you. 

When you are contemplating doing something bad, how 

does the Holy Spirit warn you of impending danger? 


As soon as David realized that he was the wrong-doer in Nathan’s 

story, he became repentant. His simple but heartfelt response 

was all the apology God needed. However, lives were affected 

by David’s actions and consequences would surely be paid. 

1. Did God forgive David (see 2 Samuel 12:13)? 

2. Did God whitewash the effects of the sin away and pretend 

it never happened? 

3. How do you respond to that warning? 

4. David surely had warning bells going off in his head 

throughout this disastrous episode. He must have ignored 

them. When have you ignored the warning bells? 

3. When have you expected your “I’m sorry” to erase the 

consequences of your actions? 


5. How did God finally get your attention? 

God got David’s attention by sending the prophet Nathan to tell 

David a story. 

Even though consequences were paid, how did God feel about 

David after this episode (see 2 Samuel 12:24)? 

Even in our deepest remorse over our actions, our heartfelt 

repentance and acceptance of consequences, God’s love remains 

steadfast. 

What is your response to God’s unwavering love for you?


STUDY 

NOTES 

Although David and Bathsheba lost the child 

that was born to them during this episode, 

they did have other children. One of them 

you have probably heard of: King Solomon. 

King Solomon, known as a wise king, is 

most famous for a court ruling he once gave. 

Two women came to him for a ruling. The 

women, both prostitutes and new mothers, 

lived together. One of the babies died in the 

night and its mother traded her dead baby 

for her roommate’s living baby. The women 

fought over whose baby was whose and 

they brought the matter before King Solomon 

to solve. King Solomon ruled using a 

famous statement: “Bring me a sword. Cut 

the living child in two and give half to the 

one and half to the other.” As Solomon expected, 

the actual mother of the child declined 

and King Solomon gave the child to 

her, knowing she was the actual mother. 

CREATE 

A NEW 

STORY 

Confessing our sins to God not only lifts 

our burden of shame, it is the only way we 

can be cleansed from our sins and forgiven. 

In a letter from the disciple, John, he 

addresses the topic of lying to ourselves 

and others about what we’re doing. 

READ 1 JOHN 1:5-10 ALOUD. 

What is the remedy for walking in 

the darkness? 

One of the best ways to help you not stray 

into the darkness is having someone or a 

trusted group of friends aware of your activities 

and involvements. 

That’s a famous story, but more important 

to you is a child who would be born in King 

Solomon’s line about 950 years later. Read 

Matthew 1:1 and 1:6. Who is the grandson 

of King Solomon?


CREATE 

A NEW 

STORY 

(CONTINUED) 

1. If you have an accountability partner, without divulging 

confidences, how does your partnership work? 

3. What would you be holding one another accountable for? 

2. If you don’t have an accountability partner, who can you 

ask to partner with you to hold one another accountable? 

4. Name some of the questions that accountability partners 

could ask one another?

74 SHAMELESS 


DIGGING 

DEEPER 

1. If men like David and Solomon could fall into 

disastrous sin how easy is it for regular people 

like us? 

Everyone is tempted to sin. Sometimes we are 

able to resist the temptation and other times 

we are not. We’re going to continue to read 

about David’s son, Solomon. Solomon’s story 

is the story of so many good people who allow 

themselves to be distracted from focusing 

on Jesus. As you read about Solomon in the 

following Scripture passages this week, think 

about your own temptations. 

2. What safeguards can you put in place to help you 

avoid falling under the influence of temptation? 

• 1 KINGS 3:5-14 

SOLOMON ASKS FOR WISDOM 

• 1 KINGS 4:29-34 

THE VASTNESS OF 

SOLOMON’S WISDOM 

• 1 KINGS 9:1-9 

GOD’S WARNING TO SOLOMON ABOUT 

WORSHIPPING OTHER GODS 

• 1 KINGS 10:23-25 

PEOPLE COME TO HEAR SOLOMON’S 

WISDOM AND TO GIVE HIM GIFTS 

3. What lies are you telling yourself and others to 

cover your activities? 

4. How are you going to stop telling those lies and 

come clean to God? 

• 1 KINGS 11:1-13 

SOLOMON’S DOWNFALL


DAILY 

DEVOTIONS 

DAY THREE: READ PSALM 51:7-12. 

Ask God to restore your heart and your joy by wiping your soul 

clean and to restore the joy of your salvation. 

We’re going to read Psalm 51 this week, a little at a time. This is 

the Psalm King David wrote after Nathan the prophet confronted 

him about his actions with Bathsheba and Uriah. As you read 

it think about how David was feeling as he wrote it. You can 

use this Psalm as your own personal confessional prayer to God 

anytime you need it. 

DAY ONE: READ PSALM 51:1-2. 

Ask God today to cleanse you from a specific sin. 

DAY FOUR: READ PSALM 51:13-17. 

Offer God your broken and contrite heart. 

DAY TWO: READ PSALM 51:3-6. 

Acknowledge that the main person you have sinned 

against is God. 

DAY FIVE: READ PSALM 51:18-19. 

After you have offered your heart, thank God for accepting any 

other offerings you are delighted to give to him.

78 SHAMELESS When I’m Too Cool to Dance 79 

SESSION5 

WHEN I’M TOO 

COOL TO DANCE 

MEMORY VERSE • PHILIPPIANS 4:4 

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 

GRATITUDE AND JOY HAVE THE POWER 

TO SWEEP AWAY THE DAMAGE DONE BY 

SHAME. BUT THIS FAST-PACED, HIGH- 

TECH WORLD KEEPS US FROM BEING AS 

GRATEFUL AS WE SHOULD BE AND AS A 

RESULT OUR LIVES GET OUT OF WHACK. 

RECOGNIZING WHAT GOD HAS DONE 

AND IS DOING IN OUR LIVES PUTS THE 

RHYTHM BACK INTO OUR LIVES.


SHARE 

YOUR 

STORY 


builds deeper connections among group members. Your 

story may be exactly what another person needs to hear to encourage 

or strengthen them. And your listening to others’ stories 

is an act of love and kindness to them—and could very well help 

them to grow spiritually. Begin your time together by using the 

following questions to get people talking. 

1. What are you thankful for? 










WATCH 

THE 

VIDEO 


















2. What is something you did for someone that they 

responded to with overflowing thanks?


HEAR 

GOD’S STORY 

Use the following questions to guide your discussion of the 

teaching from the video and the Bible passage below. 

READ PHILIPPIANS 4:10-19 ALOUD. 

1. How does Paul experience such a high level of contentment 

in extraordinary circumstances? 

2. What is the source of your contentment? 

READ PSALM 118:24 ALOUD. 

When you woke up this morning, how did you approach this new 

day? “This is the day the Lord has made …” 

a. We’ll see how things go. 

b. If I feel like it, I’ll be joyful. 

c. If I’m around the right people today, I’ll be joyful. 

d. I will rejoice in it. 

READ EACH OF THE SIX BIBLE VERSES BELOW ALOUD. 

AFTER EACH VERSE IS READ, IDENTIFY HOW TRUE 

CONTENTMENT IS FOUND. 

• Psalm 34:5 

• Psalm 34:8 

• Psalm 40:4 

3. In what circumstance have you found it difficult to maintain 

your contentment? 

• Psalm 40:8 

• Psalm 40:16 

1. On a scale of 1 to 5, where do you register on your level of 

contentment? 

4. Paul was obviously grateful for his friends in Philippi. Who 

are the friends that you feel the same way about? Why? 

2. Why did you register yourself there? 

3. How can you build your level of contentment?

84 SHAMELESS 

When I’m Too Cool to Dance 85 

STUDY 

NOTES 

If we were to rank Christians based on how well 

they performed the Great Commission (Matthew 

28:18-20), the Apostle Paul would rank at the top 

of the list. 

Jesus told us to “go and make disciples of all the 

nations.” Paul did that. 

Jesus told us to “baptize them in the name of 

the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.” 

Paul did that. 

CREATE 

A NEW 

STORY 

One of the ways to experience contentment is to recognize what 

you are thankful for. In order to do that you have to slow down 

and notice what’s going on around you. On the video, Mike talked 

about glass-bottom boats and how you can’t really see anything 

through them until the boat stops moving. 

1. Why is it important to build stillness into your life? 

Jesus told us to “teach these new disciples 

to obey all the commands I have given you.” 

Paul did that. 

Since Paul was able to follow Jesus’ commission, 

since he wrote the majority of the New Testament, 

and since he lived his life as an example 

for us to follow, then we will benefit tremendously 

by learning more about Paul. 

We can read about Paul’s ministry in the book 

of Acts. Luke, the author of Acts, records in vivid 

detail the account of Paul’s three missionary 

journeys. We also have in our New Testament 

several of the letters that Paul wrote to the new 

churches that were started on his journeys 

(1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Thessalonians, 

Ephesians, Philippians, etc.). 

2. What would be your best time each day to stop for 1 

minute and simply feel grateful for something in your life? 

3. What makes this so difficult to do?

86 SHAMELESS 

When I’m Too Cool to Dance 87 

1. Acts 22:1-21 

DIGGING 

DEEPER 

Explore the Bible passages related 

to this session’s theme on your 

own, jotting your reflections in 

a journal or in this study guide. 

You may even want to use a 

Bible website or app to look up 

commentary on these passages. 

This week, let’s learn more about 

the Apostle Paul from his own 

words. As you read, record your 

impressions of Paul’s character and 

personality. Take note of what Paul 

was grateful for. 

2. Acts 7:57-59 and Acts 8:1 (more information 

about the stoning of Stephen. Remember 

Paul’s Hebrew name was Saul.) 

3. 2 Corinthians 10:9-10 

4. 2 Corinthians 11:21-12:10 

5. Galatians 1:11-2:10


DAILY 

DEVOTIONS 

Throughout Scripture, God tells people to “be still.” Let’s read 

some of those verses this week to help us take time to be grateful. 

DAY THREE: READ PSALM 37:7. 

For what do you need to wait patiently for the Lord? 

DAY ONE: READ EXODUS 14:4. 

What battle in your life do you need to leave to the Lord to 

fight for you? 

DAY FOUR: READ PSALM 46:10. 

How can you be still today? 

DAY TWO: READ NEHEMIAH 8:10-11. 

In what area of your life do you need to turn to the Lord 

for strength? 

DAY FIVE: READ ZECHARIAH 2:13. 

Are you ready for the Lord to spring into action? Are you ready 

to be in his presence?

90 SHAMELESS When I Need to be Needed 91 

SESSION6 

WHEN I NEED TO 

BE NEEDED 

MEMORY VERSE • ROMANS 5:5 

And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has 

been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has 

been given to us. 

SHAME DOES A LOT OF THINGS IN 

US. IT PLAYS OUT IN A VARIETY OF 

WAYS BY HINDERING RELATIONSHIPS. 

WE CAN END UP IN A PLACE OF CO- 

DEPENDENCY WHERE WE FEEL LIKE 

IT’S OUR DUTY TO FIX ANOTHER 

PERSON, HELP THAT PERSON, AND 

SPEAK FOR THEM. BUT IT STEMS FROM 

A FEELING OF NOT BEING ENOUGH. 

GOD WANTS YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU 

ARE ENOUGH FOR HIM.


SHARE 

YOUR 

STORY 


builds deeper connections among group members. Your 

story may be exactly what another person needs to hear to encourage 

or strengthen them. And your listening to others’ stories 

is an act of love and kindness to them—and could very well help 

them to grow spiritually. Begin your time together by using the 

following questions to get people talking. 

1. What is your favorite game to play? 










WATCH 

THE 

VIDEO 


















2. What are other things that you love?


HEAR 

GOD’S 

STORY 

USE THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS TO GUIDE YOUR DISCUSSION 

OF THE TEACHING FROM THE VIDEO AND THE BIBLE 

PASSAGE BELOW. 

1. Do you have a hard time saying “no” when you’re asked to 

help? What makes you operate that way? 

3. Knowing that Jesus loves you beyond comprehension, 

what are you capable of? 

4. What does it mean to you to know that you are not standing 

alone? 

READ ROMANS 8:35-39 ALOUD. 

1. What is something about you that you feel would disqualify 

you from being loved by Jesus? 

2. What do you do to make yourself fit in with your work 

friends, recreation friends, family members, church friends? 

READ EPHESIANS 3:14-19 ALOUD. 

1. What gives us the power to understand Christ’s love 

(verse 3:17)? 

2. What does it mean to be established in love? 

2. How does the truth of these verses change how loveable 

you think you are? 

3. Everyone in the group, say these two sentences out loud: 

No matter what I do, what I say, or how shameful I feel, 

Christ’s love will never change. He loves me without 

bounds, without conditions.


CREATE 

A NEW 

STORY 

1. Who in your life needs to know how much Jesus loves 

them? Who needs to hear this week’s Scriptures? 

2. What are you going to do to make sure they hear these 

Scriptures this week? 

3. Before you meet with your person, think through these 

three questions so that when you are asked about your own 

salvation, you’ll be ready with your answer: 

a. What was my life like before I met Jesus? 

DIGGING 

DEEPER 

Explore the Bible passages related to 

this session’s theme on your own, jotting 

your reflections in a journal or in this 

study guide. You may even want to use 

a Bible website or app to look up commentary 

on these passages. 

Your life has been redeemed. Your sins 

have been covered by your Redeemer, 

Jesus. That redemption, although a gift 

to us, cost Jesus something. 

Read about Jesus’ gift to you. All four 

gospels tell the story of Jesus’ gift. Take 

your time, as you read each one. 

Ask someone from the group to read 

these stories with you. You can talk 

about them together as you read over 

the next days and weeks. 

• Matthew, chapters 26-28 

b. What was my encounter with Jesus like? 

• Mark, chapters 14-16 

• Luke, chapters 22-24 

c. How has my life changed since meeting Jesus? 

• John, chapters 18-21


DAILY 

DEVOTIONS 

MIKE SHARED A COMPILATION OF SCRIPTURE PASSAGES THAT 

HE CREATED THAT DESCRIBED HOW MUCH GOD LOVES HIM. 

HE WANTS YOU TO KNOW WHAT GOD HAS TO SAY ABOUT YOU, 

TOO. READ THROUGH THIS EVERY DAY UNTIL YOU BELIEVE IT. 

Before you were born you were special to me. 

I knew you before you were conceived in your mother’s 

womb. 

With my own hands I fearfully and wonderfully created every 

detail that makes you unique. 

I’ve watched you every day of your life so I know you. 

I know where you’ve been. 

I know where you are. 

I know where you’re going. 

If you only knew that my thoughts for you outnumber the 

grains of sand on all the beaches of the world. 

You’re the apple of my eye. 

I’ve engraved you on the palms of my hands. 

You’ve not earned acceptance by anything you’ve done; 

you can’t take credit for it. 

It’s a gift from me. So it’s not what you do that makes me 

love you. 

For compared to what I deserve, your righteousness is 

much like filthy rags. 

It’s my love for you that makes you precious and honored in 

my sight. 

I created you for my glory and I will never abandon what I 

have formed and what I have made.

100 SHAMELESS series conclusion 101 

SERIES 

CONCLUSION 

SEEK FIRST THE KINGDOM OF GOD. PUT 

THAT FIRST THEN EVERYTHING ELSE WILL 

FALL INTO PLACE. THROUGH THIS SHAME- 

LESS SERIES WE’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT 

THE ONLY ONE WHO’S CAPABLE TO GET 

RID OF SHAME AND GUILT. WE’VE BEEN 

TALKING ABOUT THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN 

SATISFY THE NEED IN US TO BE NEEDED 

OR TO BE CONNECTED. THAT ONE IS GOD. 

WHERE DOES GOD WANT TO TAKE YOU 

FROM HERE?

102 SHAMELESS appendices 103 

APPENDICES 

RESOURCES TO MAKE 

YOUR SMALL GROUP 

EXPERIENCE EVEN 

BETTER!


FREQUENTLY 

ASKED 

QUESTIONS 

WHAT DO WE DO ON THE FIRST NIGHT OF OUR GROUP? 

Like all fun things in life—have a party! A “get to know you” coffee, 

dinner, or dessert is a great way to launch a new study. You 

may want to review the Group Agreement (page 107) and share 

the names of a few friends you can invite to join you. But most 

importantly, have fun before your study time begins. 

WHERE DO WE FIND NEW MEMBERS FOR OUR GROUP? 

This can be troubling, especially for new groups that have only 

a few people or for existing groups that lose a few people along 

the way. We encourage you to pray with your group and then 

brainstorm a list of people from work, church, your neighborhood, 

your children’s school, family, the gym, and so forth. Then 

have each group member invite several of the people on his or 

her list. Another good strategy is to ask church leaders to make 

an announcement or allow a bulletin insert. 

No matter how you find members, it’s vital that you stay on the 

lookout for new people to join your group. All groups tend to 

go through healthy attrition—the result of moves, releasing new 

leaders, ministry opportunities, and so forth—and if the group 

gets too small, it could be at risk of shutting down. If you and 

your group stay open, you’ll be amazed at the people God sends 

your way. The next person just might become a friend for life. 

You never know! 

HOW LONG WILL THIS GROUP MEET? 

Most groups meet weekly for at least their first 6 weeks, but 

every other week can work as well. We strongly recommend 

that the group meet for the first six months on a weekly basis 

if at all possible. This allows for continuity, and if people miss a 

meeting they aren’t gone for a whole month. 

At the end of this study, each group member may decide if he 

or she wants to continue on for another study. Some groups 

launch relationships for years to come, and others are stepping-stones 

into another group experience. Either way, enjoy 

the journey. 

CAN WE DO THIS STUDY ON OUR OWN? 

Absolutely! This may sound crazy, but one of the best ways to 

do this study is not with a full house but with a few friends. You 

may choose to gather with another couple who would enjoy 

some relational time (perhaps going to the movies or having a 

quiet dinner) and then walking through this study. Jesus will be 

with you even if there are only two of you (Matthew 18:20). 

WHAT IF THIS GROUP IS NOT WORKING FOR US? 

You’re not alone! This could be the result of a personality conflict, 

life stage difference, geographical distance, level of spiritual 

maturity, or any number of things. Relax. Pray for God’s 

direction, and at the end of this 6-week study, decide whether 

to continue with this group or find another. You don’t typically 

buy the first car you look at or marry the first person you date, 

and the same goes with a group. However, don’t bail out before 

the 6 weeks are up—God might have something to teach 

you. Also, don’t run from conflict or prejudge people before you 

have given them a chance. God is still working in your life, too!


WHO IS THE LEADER? 

Most groups have an official leader. But ideally, the group 

will mature and members will rotate the leadership of meetings. 

We have discovered that healthy groups rotate hosts/ 

leaders and homes on a regular basis. This model ensures 

that all members grow, give their unique contribution, and 

develop their gifts. This study guide and the Holy Spirit can 

keep things on track even when you rotate leaders. Christ 

has promised to be in your midst as you gather. Ultimately, 

God is your leader each step of the way. 

HOW DO WE HANDLE THE CHILDCARE NEEDS IN 

OUR GROUP? 

Very carefully. Seriously, this can be a sensitive issue. We 

suggest that you empower the group to openly brainstorm 

solutions. You may try one option that works for a while 

and then adjust over time. Our favorite approach is for 

adults to meet in the living room or dining room and to 

share the cost of a babysitter (or two) who can watch the 

kids in a different part of the house. This way, parents don’t 

have to be away from their children all evening when their 

children are too young to be left at home. A second option 

is to use one home for the kids and a second home (close 

by or a phone call away) for the adults. A third idea is to 

rotate the responsibility of providing a lesson or care for 

the children either in the same home or in another home 

nearby. This can be an incredible blessing for kids. Finally, 

the most common solution is to decide that you need to 

have a night to invest in your spiritual lives individually or 

as a couple and to make your own arrangements for childcare. 

No matter what decision the group makes, the best 

approach is to dialogue openly about both the problem 

and the solution. 

LIFE GROUP AGREEMENT 

OUR PURPOSE 

To provide a predictable environment where participants experience 

authentic community and spiritual growth. 

OUR VALUES 

• Group Attendance 

To give priority to the group meeting. We will call or email if 

we will be late or absent. (Completing the Group Calendar 

on page 109 will minimize this issue.) 

• Safe Environment 

To help create a safe place where people can be heard and 

feel loved. (Please, no quick answers, snap judgments, or 

simple fixes.) 

• Respect Differences 

To be gentle and gracious to people with different 

spiritual maturity, personal opinions, temperaments, or 

“imperfections” in fellow group members. We are all works 

in progress. 

• Confidentiality 

To keep anything that is shared strictly confidential and 

within the group, and to avoid sharing improper information 

about those outside the group. 

• Encouragement for Growth 

To be not just takers but givers of life. We want to spiritually 

multiply our life by serving others with our God-given gifts. 

• Shared Ownership 

To remember that every member is a minister and to 

ensure that each attender will share a small team role or 

responsibility over time. 

• Leaders and Homes 

To encourage different people to host the group in their 

homes and to rotate the responsibility of facilitating each 

meeting. (See the Group Calendar on page 109.)


OUR EXPECTATIONS 

• Refreshments/mealtimes 

• Childcare 

GROUP CALENDAR 

Planning and calendaring can help ensure the greatest participation 

at every meeting. At the end of each meeting, review this 

calendar. Be sure to include a regular rotation of host homes 

and leaders, and don’t forget birthdays, socials, church events, 

holidays, and mission/ministry projects. 

• When we will meet (day of week) 

• Where we will meet (place) 

• We will begin at (time) and end at 

• We will do our best to have some or all of us attend a 

worship service together. Our primary worship service time 

will be 

• Date of this agreement 

• Date we will review this agreement again 

• Who (other than the leader) will review this agreement at the 

end of this study


SPIRITUAL PARTNERS’ CHECK-IN 

Briefly check in each week and write down your personal plans and 

progress targets for the next week (or even for the next few weeks). 

This could be done before or after the meeting, on the phone, through 

an e-mail message, or even in person from time to time. 

MEMORY VERSE CARDS 

SESSION ONE 

John 4:14 • “… whoever drinks the water I give them will never 

thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a 

spring of water welling up to eternal life.” 

SESSION TWO 

Exodus 4:11 • The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings 

their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them 

sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord?” 

SESSION THREE 

Ephesians 4:16 • “From him the whole body, joined and held 

together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself 

up in love, as each part does its work.” 

SESSION FOUR 

Psalm 139:23-24 • “Search me, God, and know my heart; 

test me and know my anxious thoughts. 24 See if there is any 

offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” 

SESSION FIVE 

Philippians 4:4 • “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it 

again: Rejoice!” 

SESSION SIX 

Romans 5:5 • “And hope does not put us to shame, because 

God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the 

Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”


PRAYER AND PRAISE REPORT 

CLIP AND 

REVIEW THE 

MEMORY 

VERSES ON 

THE OTHER 

SIDE OF THIS 

PAGE.


LIFE GROUP ROSTER 

NAME PHONE EMAIL


LIFE 

GROUP 

LEADERS 

KEY RESOURCES TO 

HELP YOUR LEADERSHIP 

EXPERIENCE BE THE BEST 

IT CAN BE.


HOSTING AN OPEN HOUSE 

If you’re starting a new group, try planning an “open house” before 

your first formal group meeting. Even if you have only two to 

four core members, it’s a great way to break the ice and to consider 

prayerfully who else might be open to joining you over the 

next few weeks. You can also use this kick-off meeting to hand 

out study guides, spend some time getting to know each other, 

discuss each person’s expectations for the group and briefly 

pray for each other. A simple meal or good desserts always 

make a kick-off meeting more fun. 

After people introduce themselves and share how they ended 

up being at the meeting (you can play a game to see who has 

the wildest story!), have everyone respond to a few icebreaker 

questions: 

1. What is your favorite family vacation? 

2. What is one thing you love about your church/your 

community? 

3. What are three things about your life growing up that most 

people here don’t know? 

Next, ask everyone to tell what he or she hopes 

to get out of the study. You might want to review 

the Life Group Agreement and talk about each 

person’s expectations and priorities. 

Finally, set an open chair (maybe two) in the center 

of your group and explain that it represents 

someone who would enjoy 

or benefit from this group but 

who isn’t here yet. Ask people 

to pray about inviting someone 

to join the group over the 

next few weeks. Hand out 

postcards and have everyone 

write an invitation or two. 

Don’t worry about ending up 

with too many people; you 

can always have one discussion 

circle in the living room 

and another in the dining room 

after you watch the lesson. 

Each group could then report 

prayer requests and progress 

at the end of the session. 

ASK PEOPLE TO 

PRAY ABOUT 

INVITING 

SOMEONE 

TO JOIN THE 

GROUP OVER 

THE NEXT FEW 

WEEKS. 

You can skip this kick-off meeting if your time 

is limited, but you’ll experience a huge benefit 

if you take the time to connect with each other 

in this way.


LEADING FOR THE 

FIRST TIME 

• Sweaty palms are a healthy sign. The Bible says God is 

gracious to the humble. Remember who is in control; the 

time to worry is when you’re not worried. Those who are soft 

in heart (and sweaty-palmed) are those whom God is sure to 

speak through. 

• Seek support. Ask your leader, co-leader, or close friend to 

pray for you and prepare with you before the session. Walking 

through the study will help you anticipate potentially difficult 

questions and discussion topics. 

• Prayerfully consider launching a new group. This doesn’t 

need to happen overnight, but God’s heart is for this to take 

place over time. Not all Christians are called to be leaders 

or teachers, but we are all called to be “shepherds” of a few 

someday. 

• Share with your group what God is doing in your heart. 

God is searching for those whose hearts are fully his. Share 

your trials and victories. We promise that people will relate. 

• Prayerfully consider whom you would like to pass the 

baton to next week. It’s only fair. God is ready for the next 

member of your group to go on the faith journey you just 

traveled. Make it fun, and expect God to do the rest. 

• Bring your uniqueness to the study. Lean into who you are 

and how God wants you to uniquely lead the study. 

• Prepare. Prepare. Prepare. Go through the session several 

times. If you are using the video, listen to the teaching 

segment and Leadership Lifter. Go to www.lifetogether.com 

and download pertinent files. Consider writing in a journal or 

fasting for a day to prepare yourself for what God wants to 

do. Don’t wait until the last minute to prepare. 

• Ask for feedback so you can grow. Perhaps in an email or 

on cards handed out at the study, have everyone write down 

three things you did well and one thing you could improve 

on. Don’t get defensive. Instead, show an openness to learn 

and grow. 

• Use online resources. Visit lifetogether.com and listen to 

Brett Eastman share the weekly Leadership Lifter and download 

any additional notes or ideas for your session. You may 

also want to subscribe to the Doing Life Together newsletter 

and LLT Newsletter. Both can be obtained for free by signing 

up at lifetogether.com/subscribe.


LEADERSHIP TRAINING 101 

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE RESPONDED TO THE CALL TO HELP 

SHEPHERD JESUS’ FLOCK. THERE ARE FEW OTHER TASKS IN THE FAMILY 

OF GOD THAT SURPASS THE CONTRIBUTION YOU WILL BE MAKING. AS YOU 

PREPARE TO LEAD, WHETHER IT IS ONE SESSION OR THE ENTIRE SERIES, 

HERE ARE A FEW THOUGHTS TO KEEP IN MIND. WE ENCOURAGE YOU TO 

READ THESE AND REVIEW THEM WITH EACH NEW DISCUSSION LEADER 

BEFORE HE OR SHE LEADS. 

1. Remember that you are not alone. God knows everything 

about you, and He knew that you would be asked to lead 

your group. Remember that it is common for all good leaders 

to feel that they are not ready to lead. Moses, Solomon, Jeremiah 

and Timothy were all reluctant to lead. God promises, 

“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you” (Hebrews 

13:5). Whether you are leading for one evening, for several 

weeks, or for a lifetime, you will be blessed as you serve. 

2. Don’t try to do it alone. Pray right now for God to help you 

build a healthy leadership team. If you can enlist a co-leader 

to help you lead the group, you will find your experience to 

be much richer. This is your chance to involve as many people 

as you can in building a healthy group. All you have to do 

is call and ask people to help. You’ll probably be surprised 

at the response. 

3. Just be yourself. If you won’t be you, who will? God wants 

you to use your unique gifts and temperament. Don’t try to 

do things exactly like another leader; do them in a way that 

fits you! Just admit it when you don’t have an answer, and 

apologize when you make a mistake. Your group will love 

you for it, and you’ll sleep better at night! 

4. Prepare for your meeting ahead of time. Review the session 

and the leader’s notes, and write down your responses to 

each question. Pay special attention to exercises that ask 

group members to do something other than engage in discussion. 

These exercises will help your group live what the 

Bible teaches, not just talk about it. Be sure you understand 

how an exercise works, and bring any necessary supplies 

(such as paper and pens) to your meeting. If the exercise 

employs one of the items in the Appendix, be sure to look 

over that item so you’ll know how it works. Finally, review 

“Outline for Each Session” so you’ll remember the purpose 

of each section in the study. 

5. Pray for your group members by name. Before you begin 

your session, go around the room in your mind and pray for 

each member by name. You may want to review the prayer 

list at least once a week. Ask God to use your time together 

to touch the heart of every person uniquely. Expect God to 

lead you to whomever He wants you to encourage or challenge 

in a special way. If you listen, God will surely lead! 

6. When you ask a question, be patient. Someone will eventually 

respond. Sometimes people need a moment or two of 

silence to think about the question. Keep in mind, if silence 

doesn’t bother you, it won’t bother anyone else. After someone 

responds, affirm the response with a simple “thanks” 

or “good job.” Then ask, “How about somebody else?” or 

“Would someone who hasn’t shared like to add anything?” 

Be sensitive to new people or reluctant members who aren’t 

ready to say, pray or do anything. If you give them a safe 

setting, they will blossom over time.


7. Provide transitions between questions. When guiding the 

discussion, always read aloud the transitional paragraphs 

and the questions. Ask the group if anyone would like to 

read the paragraph or Bible passage. Don’t call on anyone, 

but ask for a volunteer, and then be patient until someone 

begins. Be sure to thank the person who reads aloud. 

8. Break up into small groups each week or they won’t stay. If 

your group has more than seven people, we strongly encourage 

you to have the group gather sometimes in discussion 

circles of three or four people during the Hear God’s Story 

or Create a New Story sections of the study. With a greater 

opportunity to talk in a small circle, people will connect more 

with the study, apply more quickly what they’re learning and 

ultimately get more out of it. A small circle also encourages a 

quiet person to participate and tends to minimize the effects 

of a more vocal or dominant member. It can also help people 

feel more loved in your group. When you gather again at 

the end of the section, you can have one person summarize 

the highlights from each circle. Small circles are also helpful 

during prayer time. People who are unaccustomed to praying 

aloud will feel more comfortable trying it with just two or 

three others. Also, prayer requests won’t take as much time, 

so circles will have more time to actually pray. When you 

gather back with the whole group, you can have one person 

from each circle briefly update everyone on the prayer requests. 

People are more willing to pray in small circles if they 

know that the whole group will hear all the prayer requests. 

ONE FINAL CHALLENGE (FOR NEW OR FIRST TIME 

LEADERS). BEFORE YOUR FIRST OPPORTUNITY 

TO LEAD, LOOK UP EACH OF THE FIVE PASSAGES 

LISTED BELOW. READ EACH ONE AS A DEVOTIONAL 

EXERCISE TO HELP YOURSELF DEVELOP A 

SHEPHERD’S HEART. TRUST US ON THIS ONE. IF 

YOU DO THIS, YOU WILL BE MORE THAN READY 

FOR YOUR FIRST MEETING. 

• Matthew 9:36 

• 1 Peter 5:2-4 

• Psalm 23 

• Ezekiel 34:11-16 

• 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8, 11-12 

9. Rotate facilitators weekly. At the end of each meeting, ask 

the group who should lead the following week. Let the group 

help select your weekly facilitator. You may be perfectly capable 

of leading each time, but you will help others grow in 

their faith and gifts if you give them opportunities to lead. 

You can use the Life Group Calendar to fill in the names of all 

meeting leaders at once if you prefer.

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