Behaviour Matters June 2015
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Your No1 Magazine For Developing Higher Performance<br />
BEHAVIOUR<br />
MATTERS<br />
Issue 25 <strong>June</strong> <strong>2015</strong> £2.99 where sold<br />
Do<br />
Something<br />
Different<br />
Traveller, there is no path, the<br />
path must be forged as you walk<br />
Antonio Machado<br />
Inside This<br />
MONTH<br />
FREE! Your 2 Minute Guide<br />
to the High Performance<br />
Programme<br />
Special Bite Sized Jez On<br />
Higher Performance<br />
Stretching Your Comfort<br />
Zones in The Neuron Lounge<br />
Remember More – Boost<br />
Your Brain<br />
How To Spot A Liar<br />
Susan Miles & Richard<br />
McDougall in Expert Voice<br />
WIN! In This Month’s<br />
Competition!<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com
A Thought From Jez<br />
I<br />
’m sat watching loads of bees buzzing around one of my<br />
favourite plants in our garden; it’s a broom, bursting with<br />
bright yellow flowers, which the bees seemingly can’t get<br />
enough of. I love bees.<br />
2<br />
I read a fascinating article about bees in<br />
California that are literally herded from one<br />
blossom plantation to another, to pollinate<br />
them and produce honey. They are driven<br />
hundreds of miles up and down the coast<br />
of America to keep producing honey and<br />
pollinating the plants; essentially forced labour<br />
for bees. However, it’s beginning to have a<br />
detrimental affect on the health of the bees –<br />
the apis equivalent of office stress I guess.<br />
I remember that song from Snow White and<br />
the Seven Dwarves: “busy doing nothing,<br />
working the whole day through, trying to find<br />
nothing to do”. Those dwarves had no focus.<br />
But the bee is an incredible thing, with a body<br />
weight that defies any mathematical workings:<br />
technically it shouldn’t be able to fly as it’s wing<br />
span isn’t sufficient to support it. Yet it does<br />
(and very well, too), all whilst being one of<br />
the most productive of all living creatures on<br />
planet Earth. Well, I’ve been very much a bee<br />
recently, not an unfocused dwarf.<br />
As you can probably tell by the weight, this is<br />
a very special edition of <strong>Behaviour</strong> <strong>Matters</strong>.<br />
It marks almost 3 years since I wrote the<br />
first issue and coincides with celebrating the<br />
launch of a brand new, online information and<br />
training hub, designed to help individuals and<br />
organisations develop higher performance.<br />
It’s called the High Performance Programme…<br />
I was up all night thinking of that name! You’ll<br />
find a handy 2 minute guide included but<br />
that’s not the only culprit to the added weight;<br />
we’ve packed a few extra pages in this special<br />
edition, too!<br />
It also marks the start of our new quarterly<br />
distribution for <strong>Behaviour</strong> <strong>Matters</strong>: I know<br />
The Golden Pineapple Award<br />
This month’s Client of the<br />
Month and the recipient of<br />
our Golden Pineapple Award<br />
badge is Jacquie Beagan!<br />
Very often foreword thinking, dynamic<br />
individuals are recognised here, however,<br />
Jacquie has had to make some difficult<br />
decisions and lead her team through some<br />
challenging and busy times. Jacquie’s focus<br />
is laser sharp and she knows what she wants<br />
and how to get there but of course that’s<br />
only half the solution. The main barrier most<br />
people face is getting their team to act;<br />
to want to achieve the goals they set. And<br />
Jacquie Beagan, Merck Serono<br />
C lient of the Month<br />
that’s where Jacquie’s sincere, inclusive and<br />
encouraging approach has helped her and<br />
her team to achieve some fantastic results,<br />
all while motivating them to continue to<br />
do so. I imagine it hasn’t always been easy,<br />
however, her focus on working as one team<br />
with a clear goal in mind has ensured her<br />
team remain positive, focused and more<br />
determined than ever.<br />
Look out for your Golden Pineapple Award<br />
badge in the post!<br />
you’re all very busy and many of you don’t find<br />
time to properly read and digest the contents<br />
each month, so the next edition will land on<br />
your desks in September and then after that<br />
every three months. If you’ll miss your monthly<br />
dose, make sure you’re signed up to my<br />
monthly email “From My Brain to Your Inbox”,<br />
which is a bit of fun and includes a regular dose<br />
of interesting brain tricks and behaviour fixes.<br />
Dive into this very special edition and as<br />
always, don’t hesitate to get in touch, I always<br />
love hearing from you.<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com
Inside Jez’s<br />
Brain<br />
Liar, Liar, Pants On Fire<br />
Just last week I was sat in a meeting watching<br />
someone lie through their teeth about how<br />
they had not only completed a project but also<br />
done a significant amount of research for it, too.<br />
Only the completed project wasn’t with them because – and here<br />
comes the emotional tug on the heart strings – there was a computer<br />
problem and then an incident with a cat and some coffee and a baby<br />
crying and a family breakdown and then an argument and then<br />
something else about the baby and then a problem with the fish. It<br />
was heartbreaking. It was Oscar-winning. It was all lies.<br />
The others around the table bought into the story and extended the<br />
deadlines, made a lot of calls to rearrange the workload and enable<br />
things to continue without the required details and content from the<br />
project. I was put in a compromising position because I knew that<br />
the individual had made all but one of the things in her story up (the<br />
cat really did knock over the coffee cup). How did I know? Because<br />
truth detection and the science of uncovering untruths is a personal<br />
interest of mine and over the past ten years or so I’ve read a lot of<br />
literature, attended quite a few lectures and befriended quite a few<br />
specialists in the field of lying – years ago I used to give a lecture<br />
about how to spot a liar – and how to flush one out!<br />
Contrary to popular belief, liars tend to give themselves away more<br />
through what they say rather than their body language. Their normal<br />
speaking pattern will be different, so look out for changes to the way<br />
in which they speak; either sped up or cautiously forming sentences,<br />
for example. Most liars will commit less, say less and speed up<br />
There are subtle tell-tale signs that our<br />
bodies do, which give us away, too.<br />
when lying, so as to incriminate themselves as little as possible and<br />
to get the lie over with as quickly as possible. Listen to elements of<br />
discomfort, too: regular breaks in the voice, a less uniform tone and<br />
changes to the words that they use. For example, in the famous lying<br />
studies, most subjects spoke about other people or things more than<br />
themselves, when they were lying.<br />
There are subtle tell-tale signs that our bodies do, which give us<br />
away, too. Our feet often subconsciously point towards the exit in the<br />
room, our fingers fiddle and there is an increase in facial touching.<br />
When we smile naturally, responsively, as a result of feeling happiness<br />
or sensing something amusing, our smiles appear quickly and<br />
symmetrically. The muscles instinctively and automatically create<br />
that visual response – take a look for yourself the next time you make<br />
someone laugh: their smile appears without reservation. However, a<br />
false smile is slower and lopsided or crooked; it’s not natural.<br />
Where you can consciously control your heart rate, your bladder and<br />
indeed your brain, the movement of your eyes (pupil dilation and<br />
rapid eye movement, for example) is one of the few reactions in your<br />
body over which you have absolutely no control. Our eyes give us away<br />
more than you could ever possibly imagine. When we are nervous<br />
our eyes often move rapidly and as we grow more uncomfortable<br />
with the lie we are telling, our heart rate increases and as a natural<br />
response, our pupils dilate. It has also been observed that people’s<br />
eyes will often dart towards the exit of a room as subconsciously they<br />
want to remove themselves from the lie and thus the environment<br />
they’ve found themselves in.<br />
Despite a lot of pop psychology information written on lying to<br />
the contrary, and despite the fact that most of our registered<br />
communication is actually non verbal (a whopping 55% of the way<br />
that we relate to each other is via body language: facial expressions,<br />
posture and gestures and 38% is attributed to how what we hear<br />
sounds; the volume, intonation etc) the very best way to catch out<br />
a liar is to listen to what they say. The math whizz readers will have<br />
calculated that just 7% of how we relate to each other and effectively<br />
communicate is down to the words that we use.<br />
The important point, before you start brandishing people a liar for<br />
simply scratching their nose, is that all of these points need to be<br />
taken in context. It’s unlikely that you’ll see any one of these signs in<br />
isolation (which does help with our itchy nosed colleagues).<br />
Don’t Forget...<br />
Join me on twitter @JezRose<br />
for succinct advice, fun and<br />
SPECIAL OFFERS!<br />
3
4<br />
The Neuron<br />
Stretching Your C omfort Zones<br />
That’s<br />
Steve<br />
Wozniak with<br />
me (I’m on the<br />
left). It’s not often<br />
that you get<br />
to meet and chat<br />
to a living legend,<br />
so in that respect,<br />
it was a very special<br />
day for Steve.<br />
Shortly after that<br />
photo was taken,<br />
he turned to<br />
me and said: “this<br />
might very well<br />
be the highlight of my career” and I, naturally, had<br />
to agree with him. I have, after all, been invited onto<br />
Gloria Hunniford’s Heaven and Earth show.<br />
Steve was speaking at a conference I was also attending and he had some<br />
truly fascinating things to say about his life and career; the formation of<br />
Apple computers and how, since he’s left, he has to queue like the rest<br />
of us to get the latest iPhone! Over the past 12 years traveling the world<br />
speaking at conferences and training events, I’ve met a lot of people; a<br />
really wide variety: some wildly creative, others incredibly talented and<br />
some super intelligent, too. But Steve Wozniak tops the geek charts,<br />
as he casually explained how he was just playing around with some<br />
Research has shown that the most effective<br />
way to break habits is by wanting to<br />
electronic components one night trying to see what he could come up<br />
with, you know, like we all do, and he created something that he realised<br />
could create and record binary code that, when a screen was added and<br />
built into this complex bundle of wires and components, could create<br />
letters and numbers on the screen. He’d built the very first portable<br />
computer. Puts your Saturday night in with a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc<br />
and a family bag of Minstrels to shame, doesn’t it? He went on to reveal<br />
that it was Steve Jobs who had the business, entrepreneurial and<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com
commercial talents; Wozniak (or Woz as he likes to be called) was happy<br />
just playing about with wires and was already onto working out that he<br />
didn’t even need to build the monitor into the components: he could<br />
simply plug in an external monitor – or even television – to create a truly<br />
portable computer. The “PC” we all know today exists because of Woz.<br />
And of course thanks to Jobs’ ability to promote and market it.<br />
Now, I’ve summed the whole thing up for the sake of brevity. It took a<br />
while of course to get things right and to get the computer working,<br />
however, in the very beginning it was Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak<br />
making these computers to order in their garage. A true back bedroom<br />
(or garage in this case) start-up company. Now look at them; it’s recently<br />
been valued at just over 1 trillion dollars. Yes – trillion. No, I didn’t know<br />
you could get a trillion either. I asked Woz how, although on reflection<br />
perhaps I should have asked him why, and he said: “you’ve got to dare<br />
to do something differently; that’s what we did at Apple – we spotted a<br />
gap in the market and moved into it, regardless of whether others had<br />
spotted it, too because we wanted to create things that people wanted.<br />
To do that we simple made a point of seeking out knowledge in areas<br />
that others weren’t seeking it in, in order to stand out”. Then he said<br />
something that really resonated with me: “You can do things that have<br />
but just how easy it is – because they are self-limiting and entirely<br />
fictitious: comfort zones are very often perceived, not at all real and very<br />
much a product of what we anticipate may or may not happen, based<br />
on insufficient information. In short, comfort zones are often based on<br />
our opinion about things, which we know nothing about. It can be really<br />
simple things that help us to move out of our comfort zones: reading a<br />
different book, taking a different route to work or walking the dog on a<br />
different path, or simply taking a moment before you act to consider the<br />
alternative actions or options available to you. That’s at one end of the<br />
spectrum, then at the other you can simply remember that a comfort<br />
zone is really a habit. Ask yourself these questions: What is it that makes<br />
you comfortable by repeating that particular behaviour? Why do you<br />
always opt for the same things inside your comfort zone? Who are the<br />
people around you? What time of the day do you tend to do them? Each<br />
time you do things that are very much inside of your comfort zone,<br />
ask yourself these questions and then look for a pattern: perhaps you<br />
always do the same things because it makes you feel safe, or confident.<br />
Perhaps it’s because there are people there you like to socialise with.<br />
Now look for alternatives that produce the same reinforcement: what<br />
else could you do that would still make you feel confident, or safe, or<br />
that would allow you to socialise?<br />
Lounge<br />
5<br />
not been done yet but you’ve got to be willing to move outside of your<br />
comfort zone.” It’s the old adage: if you do what you’ve always done,<br />
you’ll get what you’ve always got. Repeating the same behaviour yet<br />
expecting different results is the definition of insanity. However, it’s not<br />
always that simple to just “do things that haven’t been done yet”, or “do<br />
something differently” because we are fundamentally creatures of habit<br />
and while making habits is simple and often subconscious, breaking<br />
them can be somewhat tricky (despite that fact that it is actually almost<br />
as simple as making them). In Be a Purple Banana I wrote about comfort<br />
zones - and in this month’s Extract From feature on page 6, you’ll be<br />
able to read why it’s sometimes so difficult to move outside of them<br />
Research has shown that the most effective way to break habits is by<br />
wanting to. The truth is that there are thousands of ways to change<br />
habits and you need to find the right one for the circumstance and<br />
behaviour, however, ultimately if you believe that you can change; if you<br />
make changing, a habit, the change becomes real because ultimately<br />
our habits are what we choose them to be.<br />
To accomplish great things we must<br />
not only act but also dream. Not only plan<br />
but also believe<br />
Anonymous
Extracts Fr om<br />
6<br />
Three questions<br />
(well,<br />
technically two as one is repeated<br />
twice, although in a<br />
different context), that are<br />
unnervingly simple, yet can<br />
make a significant impact<br />
on the way that we approach<br />
challenges, respond to opportunities,<br />
create opportunities,<br />
think, behave and<br />
adapt. These three questions (I know it’s two) can<br />
help shape your ability to think differently. I appreciate<br />
that sounds a little ethereal, however,<br />
something quite amazing is happening in your<br />
brain, I dare say right now.<br />
I am quite obsessed by the brain. It’s an absolutely astounding organ,<br />
yet we pump our bodies with alcohol, tobacco and drugs, which all have<br />
a detrimental affect. I say we; I mean you – and by you, I mean a vast<br />
generalisation, not necessarily specifically you. I don’t drink alcohol, nor<br />
smoke. However, if we were to conduct a functional Magnetic Resonance<br />
Imaging (fMRI) scan of your brain right now (that’s the one you might<br />
have seen on television, where they lay the person flat on their back<br />
as they’re slid into what looks like a giant plastic doughnut), we would<br />
be able to see, highlighted in various colours, where the activity in your<br />
brain was at any given moment. We’d be able to ask you questions, pose<br />
conundrums for you to consider and ask you to imagine things, so that<br />
we could see which areas of your brain were activated by the different<br />
tasks. Following that scan, if I were to ask you to start challenging things<br />
more often, by asking “why do we do it this way?” and to then follow that<br />
question up with another: “how can we make this better?” You would<br />
begin, very gradually, to change the way that you think. You’d begin to<br />
approach things differently. If after a period of time, say three or six<br />
months, we repeated the fMRI scan and I asked you the same questions,<br />
we’d notice changes. Your brain would be functioning differently, purely<br />
as a result of how you approach things, as a direct result of the language<br />
you’d been using. Remarkable isn’t it? We have the power to literally<br />
rewire our brain’s neural circuitry. If you’re at all surprised, interested<br />
or gob-smacked right now, this is exactly the problem I have with the<br />
Bite Sized Jez<br />
On Performance<br />
scientific community. In writing this<br />
book, it is, in truth, the beginning of a<br />
crusade to make more people aware<br />
of some of the remarkable advances<br />
and understanding in psychology and<br />
human behaviour, which seem to be<br />
rarely shared with the general public.<br />
Yet it’s so important because with<br />
this level of understanding, even at a<br />
primitive level, we are better able to<br />
understand just how capable we are,<br />
how to change our behaviour and<br />
why it’s important, too.<br />
Over the past twenty or so years,<br />
so much has been learned about how we behave and it’s unlocked<br />
some serious questions about human potential. For example, we now<br />
understand that our behaviour today is not concrete: who we are as a<br />
person; the things we stand for, believe in, the way that we behave<br />
and think is not permanent. This means that we could be somebody<br />
completely different in six months than who we are today. It’s both<br />
enlightening and encouraging to know that we can change something as<br />
significant as the way our brain behaves. Of course, many aspects play<br />
a role in this and both accentuate and prevent this potential, whether<br />
they are genetic or environmental, for example. However, this is exactly<br />
why we should challenge things more often and ask why it is that a<br />
particular process or activity is conducted in a certain way. That question<br />
alone is useful (“why do we do it this way?”) but becomes significantly<br />
more powerful when coupled with asking how the very thing you are<br />
challenging could be improved (“how can we improve it?”).<br />
By Jez Rose, published by Dr. Zeus Publishing<br />
And that’s where we’re<br />
cutting you off!<br />
This is the last ever Extract From<br />
feature. Be a Purple Banana is<br />
now available for you to buy on<br />
Amazon.co.uk<br />
Humans have a tendency to define things by what they are not: not good enough, not smart enough, not<br />
extraordinary enough. Focus on the things that are real - what have you got? What can you do? Build a greater you<br />
by enhancing your natural talents, expanding your skillset or knowledge and embracing the things you do well, not the<br />
definition based on another person. Ask a friend or colleague to list all of your talents – your opinion is often skewed!<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com
Amazing breakfast (again)<br />
at St Pancras Renaissance<br />
Heidel berg, Germany<br />
Hanging out with “ The Marriotts”<br />
Around The World<br />
Jez spends as much as 200 dates a year away working, so we thought<br />
we’d share some of the beautiful, unusual - and frankly bizarre - sights<br />
Jez sees here with you. And no photo montage would be complete without a<br />
caption competition!...<br />
With Jez<br />
7<br />
Amazing breakfast at<br />
The P ig In The Wall, Southampton<br />
Win!<br />
Caption Competition!<br />
We’ve got a stack of business books to give away<br />
that will help you develop your own higher<br />
performance, featuring The Sales Bible, Delivering<br />
Happiness, Rich Dad Poor Dad, Disney-U and The<br />
Chimp Paradox. All you need to do is send in your<br />
suggested caption to the photo above to<br />
competition@thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
before 1st July<br />
1 winner will be chosen<br />
at random.<br />
More Tea, Vicar? Kuwait
8<br />
Bees Cannot Fly<br />
by Roger McGough<br />
Bees cannot f ly, scientists have proved it.<br />
It is all to do with wingspan and body weight.<br />
Aerodynamically incapable of sustained f light,<br />
Bees simply cannot f ly. And yet they do.<br />
There’s one there, unaware of its dodgy ratios,<br />
A noisy bubble, a helium-filled steamroller.<br />
Fat and proud of it, buzzing around the garden<br />
As if it were the last day of the spring sales.<br />
Trying on all the brightest f lowers, squeezing itself<br />
Into frilly numbers three sizes too small.<br />
Bees can f ly, there’s no need to prove it. And sting.<br />
When stung, do scientists really believe it?<br />
READING<br />
Into It<br />
Jez drinks tea – a lot. And he reads<br />
– a lot. His work library has more<br />
than 3,000 books in it so each month we bring<br />
you more recommended reading material. Grab a<br />
cup of tea and get your brain into the book that’s<br />
tickling his thalamus this month…<br />
Moonwalking With Einstein<br />
by Joshua Foer £9.99 ISBN 9780141032139<br />
You might know that I’m training my memory. I’m learning to<br />
remember things and build my memory muscle. Can anyone get a<br />
perfect memory? Joshua Foer used to be like most of us, forgetting<br />
phone numbers and mislaying keys. Then he learnt the art of memory<br />
training, and a year later found himself in the finals of the US Memory<br />
Championship. He also discovered a truth we often forget: than, even in<br />
an age of technology, memory is the key to everything we are.<br />
This book is just brilliant. It’s as fascinating as it is insightful. Foer takes<br />
us on an astonishing journey through the mind, from ancient memory<br />
palace techniques to neuroscience, from the man who can recall nine<br />
thousand books to another who constantly forgets who he is. In doing<br />
so, Foer shows how we can all improve our memories.<br />
Star Rating:<br />
We’ve got 10 £10 vouchers<br />
for Waterstones to send to the first<br />
10 people to email us at<br />
competition@thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
with the subject line BOOK GIVEAWAY<br />
before 1st July<br />
On Performance<br />
Bite Sized Jez<br />
One of the most effective ways I’ve found to motivate myself in the morning (after tea, dog cudd les and<br />
a shower), is by planning the day: listing all the things that would make me happy, brighten my day or inspire or motivate<br />
me if I achieved them. Obviously there are necessary things on the list but as long as there are things that I know will<br />
give me a great sense of satisfaction when they’re complete, it drives me forward. Direction and purpose.<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com
www.highperformanceprogramme.com<br />
HIGH<br />
P R O G R A M M E
Expert Voice<br />
Richard McDougall is an expert in body language<br />
and communication, with more than 10 years experience<br />
coaching individuals and teams. He is also<br />
one of the most respected magicians in the world.<br />
Name of the Game<br />
meant that there came a time when there was real understanding and<br />
appreciation of what he was telling us.<br />
As I sit here and write this, I can hear his voice saying one of his many<br />
phrases that were short, simple and mathematically correct:<br />
“The name of the game is communication.”<br />
10<br />
It is very important to have a mentor. Someone who can listen, guide<br />
and offer honest but accurate feedback. I was very fortunate that I met<br />
mine when I was 13, and he stayed my mentor for over thirty-five years,<br />
until his death almost exactly a year ago as I write this.<br />
Alan Alan was extraordinary. After starting out in show business<br />
performing magic, a love of which he never lost, he made his name<br />
as an escapologist: his act involved being handcuffed and wrapped in<br />
chains, which were padlocked by two members of the audience. His<br />
feet were tied to a rope, and the rope was pulled up into the air, with<br />
Alan dangling beneath. In a circus or theatre, this was to the top of the<br />
building. Outside, it might be from a crane or from a helicopter. His aim<br />
was to get out of the handcuffs and chains. Oh, and the rope was on<br />
fire... and when he worked in the circus, the lions were let loose into the<br />
ring beneath him.<br />
His death-defying, iconic act made him one of the highest paid<br />
speciality acts in the world and for thirty years, he was in constant<br />
demand around the world. During that time, he worked with some of<br />
the greatest performers on the stage, and some of the smartest minds<br />
behind the scenes in theatre and television. He was close friends<br />
with some of the most brilliant magicians of the 20th century, and<br />
all that knowledge, coupled with his own forensic analysis of every<br />
moment in a theatrical act, gave him a deep and profound insight<br />
on successful performance. It was this approach to deconstruction<br />
and understanding, based on acute observation that he passed so<br />
generously to a group of just four or five of us.<br />
We used to visit Alan in his flat towards the end of his working life and<br />
many times during his long retirement, and he would play film clips of<br />
performers like Sinatra, Judy Garland or Pavarotti. He would freeze the<br />
action, and ask us about the impact of their persona, and the methods<br />
they had used to connect with us. He talked about posture, the beats<br />
of silence between words, how to convey authenticity through the<br />
eyes; how to make sure that everyone felt they were being looked at,<br />
even in an audience of thousands.<br />
We watched Charlie Chaplin and Laurel and Hardy, Eric Morecambe – in<br />
fact anyone who was at the top of their game, and the same questions<br />
were asked. At that time, many of us were still in our teens, and these<br />
concepts took a long time to be understood, but the sheer volume of<br />
excellence we were exposed to, as well as the other end of the scale,<br />
It is true whether you are performing magic for just a few people, or an<br />
act like his, on a stage in front of thousands. It is especially also true,<br />
however, in business. The name of the game is communication. Whether<br />
it’s a business meeting, pitch, internal meetings, large presentations or<br />
meeting just one client, it all comes down to communication. I am not<br />
sure if it is arrogance or ignorance, although I suspect a little of both,<br />
that so little time or effort is expended on arguably the most crucial skill<br />
in business: understanding how to explain, persuade, negotiate, inform<br />
or sell, with clarity, simplicity and authenticity. It should be mandatory<br />
for everyone. Doctors with patients, staff with customers; all would<br />
improve business relationships by placing greater importance on<br />
listening skills and confident communication. Knowing how to engage<br />
an individual or a large group - and keep them engaged, would save<br />
literally millions of hours and pounds which are currently wasted on<br />
conferences in high cost venues that are crippled by presentations that<br />
have been delivered with no impact. As a sign of the low faith companies<br />
have of their presenters at a conference, most presentations will have<br />
the screen centre stage, and the speaker to the side. As a sign of the<br />
low confidence of presenters, most of them are happier presenting like<br />
this, and would be even more terrified the other way round.<br />
The most successful performers are always the best communicators.<br />
They may not be the most talented or have the best product, but<br />
they have found a way to engage with their customers that their<br />
competitors have not.<br />
I am sure we have all met someone in business and either immediately<br />
felt comfortable with them, or the hackles have been raised. Far fewer<br />
have perhaps stopped to analyse what has caused such visceral reaction.<br />
Fewer still have probably stopped to consider what impact we are<br />
having on those around us. If we did, we would realise that verbal and<br />
non-verbal communication have enormously more significance than we<br />
generally pay attention to, and that we can always improve these skills<br />
and reap greater rewards. It may sound a little trite to say, but how we<br />
communicate not only affects outcomes. It can also affect incomes.<br />
So start observing people closely today. Observe yourself, or ask<br />
your mentor how your style of communication is perceived. They<br />
don’t have to be an escapologist or from show business, they just<br />
have to be honest and accurate. Remember, the name of the game is<br />
communication. However you look at it, there is no escaping it.<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com
8SIMPLE WAYS TO BE<br />
STRESS-FREE<br />
Look after yourself.<br />
We adopt the most<br />
common emotion that<br />
surrounds us, so start<br />
hanging around with<br />
positive people.<br />
Get help.<br />
We’re only human and simply<br />
can’t take on everything. Take some<br />
time off work if need be to sort things<br />
out but do it sooner rather than<br />
later: manage stress before<br />
it begins to manage you.<br />
Take 30 minutes every day to<br />
do something for you: walk the<br />
dog, read a book or go for a<br />
swim. It should be something<br />
you enjoy doing; sacrosanct<br />
time for you to enjoy, during<br />
which you switch off and relax<br />
– so no jogging while on<br />
your Blackberry!<br />
You are 10,000 times more<br />
important than you think you are.<br />
Your organization is about you<br />
– you’re a really important asset.<br />
Without the people inside your<br />
organization that make it<br />
happen every single day, it<br />
wouldn’t function.<br />
If you use ”I’m too busy” or<br />
“there isn’t enough time” as<br />
excuses, I guarantee we can<br />
fix that right now as they are<br />
common problems resulting<br />
from poor time management.<br />
Brighten up your workspace with<br />
a plant, photos of family, friends,<br />
pets or anything that has a<br />
special memory. Keep your<br />
working area tidy and free from<br />
clutter: if you clutter your desk,<br />
you clutter your mind.<br />
Recognise the signs of when<br />
stress is beginning to take over,<br />
which include irritability; loss of<br />
appetite; butterflies and anxiety;<br />
tearfulness and insomnia.<br />
Embracing change isn’t<br />
something humans are often<br />
particularly good at. The innate<br />
fear of failure we have takes over,<br />
as change often means the<br />
unknown. If you feel yourself<br />
getting worried, ask questions you<br />
need to help put your mind at rest.<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
HIGH<br />
P R O G R A M M E
12<br />
Expert Voice<br />
‘A fish rots from the head’<br />
Steve Penson from Alisar specialises in helping<br />
organisations to harness powerful profiling<br />
and create high performing teams that realise<br />
their potential… and is a friend and colleague.<br />
‘A fish rots from the head’ (We advise standing up wind) Why the fish?<br />
Well, have you ever seen an avalanche crashing UP-hill? No, we haven’t<br />
either. Mother Nature knows the best way to cascade is downwards.<br />
So our team working involves senior members first. Bring them in from<br />
the get go, get them using the right language and truly understanding<br />
the benefit of what we’re doing and our job becomes a whole lot easier.<br />
Discussions kick off around the High Performing Team model. We can’t<br />
take credit for the model, that’s down to Harvard Business School and<br />
Tavistock Institute – and they certainly know what they’re talking about.<br />
In a nutshell it says three key components grow highly effective teams:<br />
• Skills: Technical and Interpersonal (including Communication;<br />
Problem Solving; Conflict Management)<br />
• Accountability: Individual and Team<br />
• Commitment: Clear strategic vision; Roles and Responsibilities;<br />
Common working practices.<br />
It’s constantly surprising to find how often these basic team building<br />
blocks aren’t as solid as they should be.<br />
Let’s look at Roles and responsibilities. Frequently discussions around<br />
this topic begin with people quoting their job descriptions, often only<br />
part of the story, as roles and responsibilities blur, particularly within<br />
matrix management structures.<br />
Illuminating sessions<br />
Some very illuminating sessions uncover the (sometimes yawning)<br />
chasm between what people think their role is and what they believe<br />
others roles to be. We also use the powerful Everything DiSC® model<br />
to help teams understand their behaviour, and improve relationships<br />
across the team and their organisation. The DiSC® contextual profiling<br />
tool asks people questions based on their role, such as: “What kind of<br />
person am I?” and “Why don’t I get the reactions I’m expecting?”<br />
It enables people to get to know their default behaviours, recognise<br />
the behaviour of others and how certain behaviours manifest in<br />
certain personality types. Learning to flex your behaviour means you<br />
get the best out of yourself and others, and makes your interactions<br />
much more effective.<br />
Instant hits<br />
Board members are often astounded when we discuss the impact they<br />
have – sometimes even without leaving their office. We told one MD<br />
that his staff felt his shop floor appearances were simply done to point<br />
fingers and criticise. On his next walkaround he did a ‘stop and chat’…<br />
about last night’s soaps, the football results, even said “Cześć, jak się<br />
masz?” (How are you) to a Polish employee… which took some doing!<br />
His bonhomie was an instant hit. Morale improved, people started<br />
interacting more because they realised he was, in many ways, just like<br />
them. All we told him was “Be aware of the shadow you leave”.<br />
We like to play with language (we’re experienced NLP practitioners after<br />
all) and ‘reframing’ can have a profound effect. Here’s an example…<br />
At one of Ann’s recent coaching session someone told her they<br />
practised regular personal affirmations by saying “Being me is no bad<br />
thing” to themselves – a potentially good tool for shy and retiring types<br />
(so we’ve never suggested this technique to Jez!). Ann replied: “Let’s<br />
reframe that, try ‘Being me is a GOOD thing’”. Another instant success.<br />
The tone of voice changed, there was more energy, it was more<br />
believable, it’s more positive. What’s not to like?<br />
We firmly believe in the power of coaching. Giving someone undivided,<br />
one-to-one attention and the space and time to really think through what<br />
they’re doing and where they’re going. Then provide a personalised,<br />
bespoke development route. It works.<br />
The Alisar approach<br />
So, what’s the Alisar approach? It starts with a fact-finding mission,<br />
watching, looking, listening and learning. What’s actually happening?<br />
What really needs attention? Sometimes we compile a survey that asks:<br />
“What do you really need?” We never turn up thinking we’re the experts.<br />
It’s your business, you’re the expert -how can Alisar support you?<br />
Our fact finding is followed by a series of workshops to introduce<br />
general concepts, then we get down to business with one-to-one<br />
coaching. And cascade this process from senior level throughout<br />
the company. We continue the cascade from senior members to the<br />
next tier using exactly the same concepts, then the next… until we’ve<br />
worked with the entire organisation.<br />
Using a confidential questionnaire that demonstrated the real issues<br />
faced by a premium manufacturer, our work resulted in increased<br />
confidence amongst all team members and our recommendations and<br />
improvements helped to:<br />
• Eliminate inefficiencies in business processes and daily work<br />
schedules<br />
• Review, learn and improve what they did, which led to previous<br />
customers returning<br />
• Save the company down time and the cost of generic sales training<br />
• Transform the team into a more communicative, cohesive unit<br />
• Increase their sales closing skills.<br />
An injection of Alisar insights and the company became more efficient,<br />
customer focused, and on course to exceed their annual target by £100K.<br />
Find out more about the Alisar approach, visit our website at<br />
www.alisar.eu<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com
9<br />
WAYS<br />
TO EMPOWER<br />
YOUR TEAM<br />
It’s a firm favourite of many but micro-managing is time consuming<br />
and ineffective. Strong leaders build strong teams around them<br />
through empowerment and trust. Here’s a quick overview of how:.<br />
Tell people<br />
What you want to achieve<br />
and involve them in<br />
finding ways to achieve it.<br />
Set out expectations<br />
Ensure everyone knows what their<br />
role is and what part they play.<br />
Use positive language<br />
And plenty of enthusiasm<br />
and encouragement.<br />
Highlight successes<br />
And show the<br />
way forwards,<br />
learning from<br />
failings.<br />
Provide mentors<br />
in the form of<br />
buddies or<br />
more formal<br />
coaching as<br />
required.<br />
Make individuals<br />
Personally<br />
accountable<br />
for their results,<br />
you want<br />
a professional<br />
team producing<br />
professional results.<br />
Ensure individuals<br />
Have the tools and equipment<br />
and training required to carry out<br />
their role fully and to the best<br />
of their ability.<br />
Seek high standards<br />
And then incrementally<br />
raise the bar.<br />
Recognise<br />
And reward successes<br />
but be mindful that<br />
individuals have different<br />
ways that they will want<br />
to be rewarded and<br />
which will motivate<br />
them to continue.<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com<br />
HIGH<br />
P R O G R A M M E
Expert Voice<br />
Whose career is it anyway?<br />
14<br />
Sue Miles is Director at Chaseville Consulting<br />
Ltd, a people development consultancy specialising<br />
in professional services and the construction<br />
and property sector.<br />
www.chaseville.co.uk<br />
Have you ever been in an appraisal meeting with a ‘Waiting To Be<br />
Told’? Someone who wants you, their manager, to tell them what<br />
they want from their career, how to get it and what you are going to<br />
do to help them? This article aims to help you have a conversation<br />
with a ‘Waiting To Be Told’ (well before they walk into their appraisal<br />
meeting) about why they should care and not leave their career in<br />
anyone’s hands other than their own.<br />
Years ago I was pondering over a big life decision that I needed to<br />
make around my job and where I lived as a result. It was a hard<br />
decision – I asked friends their opinion, sought advice from family<br />
and, well, anyone who would listen to be honest. I think even a<br />
visiting dog had its ear bent one night (dogs, for the record, are<br />
great at listening but are pretty rubbish with answers). Finally, two<br />
months of prevarication and procrastination led me to a coffee with<br />
a good friend. His words were wise. “Sue, it does not matter how<br />
many people you ask, the decision is yours. No one cares as much<br />
about your job as you do. They are too busy worrying about their<br />
own life.”<br />
At first, I thought this was a bit harsh. People did care about me<br />
and my decision would impact on them too. One slowly sipped<br />
Americano later, however, and I realised he did not mean that<br />
people did not care about me, just that my life was my life. It was<br />
my decision to make.<br />
I tell this story because one of my big bugbears is people who want<br />
others to take responsibility for their career (or indeed in some<br />
cases their life, but don’t get me started on that one!) and I think<br />
his words ‘no-one cares about your job as much as you do’ are<br />
powerful. Depending on our own personal circumstances, many of<br />
us will be expecting to work in some form for about 40 years or<br />
more. Let’s say, for 8hrs a day. 330+ days a year for 40 years. That’s<br />
a lot of hours in our lives.<br />
Why then, do I meet so many managers that tell me that many<br />
of their team members come into appraisal/career planning<br />
conversations with a blank sheet of paper “waiting to be told” what<br />
to do with their career, or asking questions like, “what courses do<br />
you think I should go on this year?”<br />
If you are managing a ‘waiting to be told’, here are 6 compelling<br />
reasons to share with the individual to help explain why career<br />
ownership is important.<br />
(Before you read on, be clear that I am not saying that all employers<br />
should have a magic wand to grant us all our wishes. However, I do<br />
feel that individuals, whatever level, should be proactive enough to<br />
have an open conversation to explore options around opportunity,<br />
aspirations and personal growth. And leaders should be confident<br />
enough to have them.)<br />
Reason 1. As my wise friend says “no one care as much about your<br />
career as you do.” Not even the best manager in the world.<br />
Reason 2. Early in my career, I was told, “If you want to get on, make<br />
yourself as useful as you can to your line manager. Don’t give them<br />
work to do”. Simple advice from a senior Construction Director.<br />
Entering a career conversation (which is about their career!) with a<br />
blank sheet of paper, gives you (as their line manager) a job. It’s far<br />
more powerful for an individual to tell you what they want and for<br />
you to have an open conversation about what’s possible.<br />
Reason 3. Advice passed on to me by a wise CEO: “If you want to<br />
be considered for an opportunity you have to have ‘first thought<br />
status’ – i.e. you are the first person someone thinks of when<br />
they see or hear of an opportunity. If someone is a passenger<br />
in a career conversation, how will anyone, let alone you (their<br />
manager and personal advocate/major spokesperson) know what<br />
sort of opportunities interest them with customers/clients or in<br />
your own workplace?<br />
Reason 4. Some management books tell us that performance<br />
only makes up only 10% of success. This is often a shocker to many<br />
people who work hard and long hours. But it implies that “getting<br />
your head down and doing a good job” is just not enough. Wherever<br />
you work. It’s Harvey Coleman that tells us that 60% of success is<br />
made up of exposure and the remaining 30% is image and exposure.<br />
Whether or not you or they agree with the stats is not the point – it<br />
is just worth thinking about what turning up and ‘waiting to be told’<br />
could lead to…or not lead to.<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
www.highperformanceprogramme.com
Reason 5. Only they know what really motivates them. You are<br />
their manager, not a mind reader. Good managers will coach and<br />
guide and ask good questions, but it is not your responsibility to tell<br />
them what they want from their work life….it’s their responsibility<br />
to have given it thought.<br />
Reason 6. We are all constrained by ‘inhibitors’ at times – fear,<br />
procrastination, lack of confidence or self-belief etc. Even some<br />
of the most outwardly confident people I meet will often reveal<br />
something I would never have guessed upfront that can hold them<br />
back from taking action. One of the most compelling exercises I<br />
have used to get myself over my own fears has been to:<br />
• To ask myself what I want to look back on my life and say<br />
about it.<br />
• To consider what I might say about it right now.<br />
• To recognise the gap (if there is one) and make a personal<br />
plan to do something about it. Part of this will always include<br />
work stuff.<br />
That might mean making an uncomfortable phone call, doing a job<br />
I don’t like to achieve a longer term goal for me or taking a risk<br />
I would otherwise not take. Encourage them to know their own<br />
‘gap’ before they walk into a career conversation so they can have a<br />
conversation in the context of what they want.
News in Brief<br />
BUF F<br />
JUST ONE C ORNET T O…<br />
16<br />
You can read articles I’ve written about focusing<br />
on our goals and also reviews of my new book<br />
Be a Purple Banana this month in Forever Sports<br />
and Train magazines (think dumbbells not choo<br />
choo). Naturally they wanted someone ripped<br />
and buff to write for them and, well, couldn’t<br />
find anyone so asked me!<br />
F IBBERS<br />
According to HireRight, 57% of British job<br />
applicants lie on their CVs. Check out this<br />
month’s article on How to Spot a Liar to flush<br />
those fibbers out!<br />
ON THE WALL<br />
The writing is on the wall: 71% of UK adults<br />
think that businesses put profit before<br />
consumers. They’re probably right, too but<br />
it speaks volumes that the majority of your<br />
customers feel that way. Is it time to make our<br />
customers feel more valued?<br />
SHAP E MAT T ERS<br />
Why is it that triangular sandwiches always<br />
taste better than square ones?<br />
Well, not a Cornetto, per-se. Or at all in fact,<br />
I just love ice cream and there’s an Italian<br />
man sat next to me so it was the first thing<br />
that popped into my head. I’ve got just one<br />
space left in my coaching diary. If you’d<br />
like help achieving your goals, gaining or<br />
maintaining focus and unlocking the huge<br />
potential that’s in your mind, get in touch<br />
with Steph: jez@thebehaviourexpert.com or<br />
head here for more information: http://bit.ly/<br />
jezcoach<br />
Executive<br />
PROGRAMME<br />
Some more mental entertainment for your neurons...<br />
SCALE<br />
There is a clerk at the butchers shop. He is<br />
five feet, ten inches tall and he wears size<br />
eleven shoes. What does he weigh?<br />
TALL<br />
Before Mount Everest was discovered, what<br />
was the highest mountain in the world?<br />
REMEMBER?<br />
This is a fun memory assessment and<br />
training game, which has been turned into<br />
a drinking game on many occasions (not by<br />
me but it was inevitable that someone did,<br />
wasn’t it?!):<br />
Have someone lay out 8 or 9 different<br />
objects for example, a paperclip, a packet<br />
of tissues, a magazine, car keys, a glass etc)<br />
and cover them up. You’re given 30 seconds<br />
as soon as the cover is removed (I use a<br />
scarf or someone’s jacket) to look at the<br />
objects and remember as many as possible.<br />
Once you’re successful, try it with different<br />
objects but give yourself less time, then<br />
more objects and gradually less time. Voila!<br />
– instant memory trainer! You’re welcome.<br />
Do you know someone who’d love a copy of <strong>Behaviour</strong> <strong>Matters</strong>?<br />
Maybe a friend, colleague or least favourite child? Email their name and address to orders@thebehaviourexpert.com and<br />
we’ll post them a copy each month absolutely FREE! Ask us nicely in the email and we’ll also send you a little something in<br />
the post to thank you for helping us to widen distribution of <strong>Behaviour</strong> <strong>Matters</strong>.<br />
Contact The <strong>Behaviour</strong> Expert<br />
Midlothian Innovation Centre, The Bush<br />
Roslin, EH25 9RE<br />
www.thebehaviourexpert.com<br />
Join in the fun here!<br />
@JezRose<br />
www.facebook.com/thebehaviourexpert