42097609460

that I’ll be nothing but a distant memory by the time they get
married.
How can I tell them that I love them if I’m no longer there?
And Alex. He’s my dream and my companion, my lover and my
friend. He’s a devoted father, but more than that, he’s my ideal
husband. I can’t describe the comfort I feel when he takes me in his
arms, or how I look forward to lying down beside him at night.
There’s an unshakable humanity about him, a faith in the goodness
of life, and it breaks my heart to imagine him alone. That’s why I’ve
asked him to give you this letter; I thought of it as a way of making
him keep his promise that he would find someone special again—
someone who loves him, and someone he could love. He needs that.
I was blessed to be married to him for five years and I’ve mothered
my children for less time than that. Now, my life is almost over and
you are going to take my place. You’ll become the wife who grows
old with Alex, and you’ll become the only mother my children will
ever know. You can’t imagine how terrible it is to lie in bed, staring
at my family and knowing these things, and realizing there’s
nothing I can do to change them. Sometimes, I dream that I’ll find a
way to come back, that I can find a way to ensure they’re going to be
all right. I like to believe that I’ll watch over them from heaven, or
that I can visit them in their dreams. I want to pretend that my
journey isn’t over and I pray that the boundless love I feel for them
will somehow make it possible.
This is where you come in. I want you to do something for me.
If you love Alex now, then love him forever. Make him laugh again,
and cherish the time you spend together. Take walks and ride your
bikes, curl up on the couch and watch movies beneath a blanket.
Make him breakfast, but don’t spoil him. Let him make breakfast for
you as well, so he can show you he thinks you’re special. Kiss him
and make love to him, and consider yourself lucky for having met
him, for he’s the kind of man who’ll prove you right.