Glamour USA - September 2016

Ladies First “Michelle and I have raised our
daughters to speak up when they see a
double standard,” says the President (here
with his family at a 2016 U.S. state dinner).
“ Yes, it’s important that their dad
is a feminist, because now that’s what
they expect of all men.”
OFFICIAL WHITE HOUSE PHOTOS BY PETE SOUZA
tude that teaches men to feel threatened by the presence and
success of women.
We need to keep changing the attitude that congratulates men
for changing a diaper, stigmatizes full-time dads, and penalizes
working mothers. We need to keep changing the attitude that
values being confident, competitive, and ambitious in the workplace—unless
you’re a woman. Then you’re being too bossy, and
suddenly the very qualities you thought were necessary for success
end up holding you back.
We need to keep changing a culture that shines a particularly
unforgiving light on women and girls of color. Michelle has often
spoken about this. Even after achieving success in her own right,
she still held doubts; she had to worry about whether she looked
the right way or was acting the right way—whether she was being
too assertive or too “angry.”
As a parent, helping your kids to rise above these constraints
is a constant learning process. Michelle and I have raised our
daughters to speak up when they see a double standard or feel
unfairly judged based on their gender or race—or when they
notice that happening to someone else. It’s important for them
to see role models out in the world who climb to the highest levels
of whatever field they choose. And yes, it’s important that their
dad is a feminist, because now that’s what they expect of all men.
It is absolutely men’s responsibility to fight sexism too. And as
spouses and partners and boyfriends, we need to work hard and
be deliberate about creating truly equal relationships.
The good news is that everywhere I go across the country, and
around the world, I see people pushing back against dated assumptions
about gender roles. From the young men who’ve joined our
It’s On Us campaign to end campus sexual assault, to the young
women who became the first female Army Rangers in our nation’s
history, your generation refuses to be bound by old ways of thinking.
And you’re helping all of us understand that forcing people to
adhere to outmoded, rigid notions of identity isn’t good for anybody—men,
women, gay, straight, transgender, or otherwise.
These stereotypes limit our ability to simply be ourselves.
This fall we enter a historic election. Two hundred and forty
years after our nation’s founding, and almost a century after
women finally won the right to vote, for the first time ever, a
woman is a major political party’s presidential nominee. No matter
your political views, this is a historic moment for America.
And it’s just one more example of how far women have come on
the long journey toward equality.
I want all of our daughters and sons to see that this, too, is
their inheritance. I want them to know that it’s never been just
about the Benjamins; it’s about the Tubmans too. And I want
them to help do their part to ensure that America is a place where
every single child can make of her life what she will.
That’s what twenty-first century feminism is about: the idea
that when everybody is equal, we are all more free.
Barack Obama is the forty-fourth President of the United States.
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