July 2016

MOM’S PERSPECTIVE
by Cheryl Pangborn
Morning Person
BLUES
I am a self-admitted
morning person.
I know that goes against the grain of
the masses of the non-morning people,
those folks who cannot tolerate my kind.
This has become a serious issue in my
home where it’s me against my husband
and daughter. They are not interested in
my morning sunshine.
I have wondered to myself, is it because
you’re jealous that you are not a
productive member of society with
conversational skills and the ability to
communicate before 7am? Do you want
to be me? Because, being a morning
person has a million perks. First, and
most importantly, is that if you are the
only morning person in your household
(like an only child except you’re the
only nice one and you’re up before
dawn) you can be alone. No phones are
ringing. No one is asking questions, or
for food, or being annoying. Things get
done. You can mop your floors and no
one will walk on them. Drink an entire
cup of coffee while it’s hot. Start dinner,
do laundry, and so on. My favorite part
of this time of day is that I can work out
in peace. I have been doing this since
my daughter was born. So for 16 years
I get up, sneak out to the garage, and
get this unpleasant task done first thing.
I don’t have the pressure of negotiating
with myself later after all the insanity sets
in, about fitting this into my schedule.
Sure, I start every day drenched in sweat
and by 9am I’m ready to crash and
burn, but I persevere. Friends constantly
say to me “I don’t know how you do
that! You’re crazy!” Yes, morning people
are crazy. I accept this.
The cross to bear as a morning person
is that you are very annoying to the
non-morning people in your life. This
is my time to shine. I like to chat, ask
questions, you know, have a little preday
summit meeting with the people in
my world. My husband tells me I am
too “talky” in the morning. I have taken
several opportunities to mention that this
is not a word in the English language,
but Grammar 101 is not met with enthusiasm
before breakfast. I have noticed
lately in the morning while hubby is
attempting to come alive, sitting on the
couch drinking coffee, he has taken to
putting a blanket over his head. Perhaps
this is an attempt to make me think
he’s not there? I’m not really clear and
if I ask, well, early morning inquiries are
frowned upon.
My teenage daughter
is another story. I
drive her to a school
drop off point,
which thankfully
is only about ten
minutes from our
house. While
my husband
is basically
passive,
she is not. I
have been
doing this
route with
her for the
past two
school
years and
I struggle
with the notion of wanting to turbo eject
her out of my car every day. I feel that
at this point the best defense is don’t
talk. And by this I mean I do not utter
a word even if she talks to me. It’s a
trap and I always wind up falling for it. I
feel that being asked a question opens
the invitation for conversation. The
teen clearly disagrees. She will ask me
something or make a comment and I’ll
launch enthusiastically into my answer.
I am now jabbering away about the
subject and suddenly she’ll burst forth
in full teenage whine mode “why are you
still talking?”
Before I speak now, I am using the
H.A.L.T morning method, developed,
well, by me. I ask myself, will it
promote me getting HOLLERED at.
Will I wind up ANNOYED. Will I be
called LAME and finally, will I TRUST
myself to stay calm.
I feel outnumbered and no matter
what I do to try and bridge the gap for
us, it has failed. I do have my revenge
however, because when you get up
that early and have that much morning
energy, by the evening, you’re
toast. I am in no way, shape, or
form interested in any deep and
meaningful discussions after
9pm. I am known to agree to
watching a movie with Steve and
two minutes into it I’m out like
a light. The struggle is real so I
persevere in this world of “late day
bloomers.” To all of you who wake
and embrace the day with joy and
enthusiasm I say – Talk on! P
44
JULY 2016