Delving Into My Identity as Gray

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I AM That ache, That contraction of life-sustaining muscles. So quickly it begins- a rush of overwhelming feeling- like a knife suddenly piercing my meaty flesh, only to slowly slice its way back out again, fading but growing. A success story, maybe to some. A goring wound to me. But I don’t even know you… Why should your smile bring blood to mine? Why should the bareness of your distant feet render me maimed? Why that your prosperity should have any power over my ability to aspire to what you have achieved? Are we not equals? My gutted state answers me, “no” But while I sit in this pool of my own blood, why do I bleed for what I don’t even desire? I want nothing of your life! Not your hair, not your freedom of movement, not the fruit you’ve bore, nothing of it. Why are people like you knives for people like me? Perhaps it is that you do not bleed…
You rise and achieve whilst still intact. You remain whole while I fall, being all that you lack. I am all the things that enabled you to rise. I am the weight you never felt. I am the blood you never lost. I am the questions you never had to ask. I am the fears you never had to consider. I am the pain that never chained you to your floor. I am the shame you’ve never had to hide. I am the desperation that has never wracked your brain. I am the stress that has never touched the beat of your heart. I am the lines that has never taken your pristine mind. I am the darkness you know nothing of. I am everything that, if you had ever knew, would have you sitting in a puddle of your own blood, questioning why someone so removed from you has the ability to so physically ruin you. I am so you can be. In this dark reality, we cannot be without the other. The truly cruel part of this that while know nothing of me and my kind, we must always know of you. You never see this blood shed for you and because of you. You will live long and die peacefully. And because of that, I fear the nature of my own death. I am your “Falling Man”.
Page 1: Delving Into My Identity as Gray A
Page 4 and 5: One of the more difficult things to
Page 6 and 7: One would think the most difficult
Page 8 and 9: consistent. I am twenty-five years
Page 10 and 11: Poetry Is Poetry is my reprieve A m
Page 12 and 13: “Church" Yourself You wanted a
Page 14 and 15: Home Christmas lights Kitten fur Fl
Page 16 and 17: It Won’t Come Peacefully Everyone
Page 19: Gin Consciousness Is it that I ask
Page 23 and 24: Holidays are cold now. No one has f
Page 25 and 26: You don’t even sound like you- yo
Page 27 and 28: Stay What does one say just before
Page 29 and 30: So much beauty. Every ray of sun th
Page 32 and 33: Embrace is a Dangerous Game - a sho
Page 34 and 35: arreling down on us- a tornadic sup
Page 36 and 37: “Aedus,” he said looking at me
Page 38 and 39: embraced him so tightly, I could fe
Page 40 and 41: We piled in the car awkwardly and r
Page 43 and 44: Identity - Part one of Chronicles o
Page 45 and 46: The Fujiwhara Effect - Part two of
Page 47 and 48: It sounds like the time you turned

Delving Into My Identity as Gray

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