ExodusMagFeb2017

RELATIONSHIPS | Partnership
have to understand that the
situation is temporary. As a man,
it may also be wiser to jump in
and help your partner with the
household chores without waiting
to be asked, this as a nice gesture
to show her how much you
appreciate her support. Also,
ensure that you work on acquiring
another source of income.
Women appreciate just the effort
even if there is no income as yet;
just knowing that the partner is
trying is good enough.
What happens then if it’s the
other way around? A woman is
usually spoilt rotten by the
husband. She is not employed
and has no prospects of being
employed and is used to a lavish
lifestyle that the husband gives
her. What happens when the
‘“Circumstances
are not there to
destroy the
partnership but to
build you and make
you stronger as a
couple.”
husband loses income and her
lifestyle has to change? In a
mature partnership, the woman
should be open to go and seek
employment even if it is to take
care of the basic nancial
household needs, as well as
maintain her lifestyle. It might not
be to the same standard but it will
be better than nothing. This will
be while the husband is sorting
out his affairs. Again,
understanding that the situation is
not permanent is key. Where there
is no maturity, a woman will
protest to this shift and end up
either leaving the partner or the
living conditions for the man will
be unbearable.
We need to be careful in our
process of support that we do not
cripple each other. We are
partners to support each other as
well build each other. As a man
you should always encourage
your woman to do something to
build herself, whether it is through
work; study; a hobby or selfemployment.
This way you
encourage her to be independent,
that even though you are still
giving her all that you want to
give her, you are also giving her
an ability to do things for herself.
As women, our role even to a
male child is to build them to be
independent from word go. You
treat and teach your boy child to
be the kind of man that any
woman would be lucky to have.
Why then would you not do even
better for your partner? It is good
to support him through all his
endeavours, whether to look for a
job or start his own business, but
we need to be careful not to
cripple him in the process. In the
midst of that support, he always
needs to be reminded of what is
expected of him so he doesn’t
forget and get comfortable. Be
careful that you don’t nd yourself
doing things for him that he
should be doing for himself.
Support should only be just that,
support. The dictionary best
describes support as ‘providing
immaterial assistance to a person,
cause or interest’ or ‘giving
moral, psychological, aid or
courage to’. So when you decide
to spoil your wife as a man, give
her an aid to start something that
will benet her in the long run,
something she can be proud of
achieving on her own. As a
woman, give your man a listening
ear, comfort and any aid that will
help him towards his goal.
However, still give him room to
always remember that goal.
Women can sometimes
unintentionally mother their
partners to a point of
emasculating them, with the
intention to give support. You
have to be careful of the kind of
support you are giving; the one
you give to your son should be
different to that you give to the
leader of your house.
We always have to understand as
partners that where there is unity,
anything is possible.
Circumstances are not there to
destroy the partnership but to
build you and make you stronger
as a couple. When you make
God the leader in whatever
situation you nd yourselves in,
you will nd it to be easier day by
day. The problem we face as
partners is that we tend to ght
the circumstances, as though we
intentionally brought them to
ourselves.
It is under dire circumstances that
the union becomes stronger only
if you make God the controller of
it all. Do not ght it, God allowed
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