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WWW.WOMENSFRONTLINEMAGAZINE.COM ''He was also suave, cunning, and.. (I later learned) full of deceit.''
RESTORATION 101 Recently, I was in conversation with one of the co-authors of the upcoming book collaboration (the third in a series) entitled God Says I am Battle-Scar Free: Testimonies of Abuse Survivors. During that conversation, she shared with me one of her ''ugly truths''. She had a baby by a married man. I cannot go into ALL that her story entailed here (as that is being reserved for the book release), but I had to stop and do a quick reality check on myself. See, many moons ago, I was dating a married man. Hold on. Wait. Stop. Put down the stone. He was legally separated from his wife - and had been for about a year before we met. The ISSUE was this: I was deceived by him. He never made mention that he was STILL married. Conversations about that particular topic were vague - which should have sent up flares…but they did not. Not only was that man STILL married; he had a child with her. Let me backtrack for just a moment. When he and I met, I was freshlydivorced and FREE! If you can relate on ANY level to being FREED from any toxic relationship - friend or romantic - that was not designed AND ordained by God, you know that feeling is nothing short of being able to inhale and fill your lungs with fresh air. Well, that's where I was when he and I met (for the sake of the remainder of this story, let's name him ''Victor''. I was breathing…freely. He was tall, dark, and handsome - literally. He was also suave, cunning, and (I later learned) full of deceit. How did I come to learn that he was STILL married? His sister found it HER place to tell me. That is a whole other story, but rest assured: Her intent was not one of concern or love for ''Victor'', his wife, nor me. Even after finding out he was ''technically''off the market, I continued on with the relationship - much to his sister's disappointment. Moving along… The relationship with ''Victor'' was unhealthy. It was apparent early on that both of us were dealing with unaddressed internal issues that would not allow for proper growth of our professed love for one another. He was running from his, and I (being the nurturer I am) was enabling his behavior. It was a LONG seven years of being together, breaking up, and getting back together again. Yes. I said SEVEN YEARS.
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