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CUT IT OUT<br />
ALREADY!<br />
By Matthew Bretz<br />
The other day I was sitting with a group of people outside<br />
of a little restaurant having drinks. The conversation<br />
was here, there, and everywhere as group convos will<br />
be, but eventually it came around to the topic of favorite<br />
foods. Pasta was big on the list, as were cheese burgers,<br />
steak and so on…until bacon was mentioned. It’s funny<br />
the effect even the word bacon can have on people. Fun<br />
fact— there are 7 accepted flavors in the world, and bacon<br />
contains 6 of them. So anyway…a hush comes over the<br />
group at the mention of the B word and the game changes.<br />
Now everyone is spontaneously sharing their favorite bacon<br />
audio-porn. I remain quiet during all of this until it<br />
noticed that I am doing so and pointed out.<br />
“Matt you haven’t told us your favorite way to eat<br />
bacon,” I was reminded as if I had forgotten.<br />
“Yeah…I don’t actually eat bacon…or pig of any kind<br />
really.” As the words struggled to be free of my mouth I<br />
knew what was coming…or at least I thought I did.<br />
“Why not? You aren’t Muslim, are you?” These questions/accusations<br />
came from a complete stranger…friend<br />
of a friend kinda thing…across the table.<br />
Two things immediately occurred to me: 1. This is<br />
going to be a good story for my column, and 2. It’s amazing<br />
how the connotation of the question changes so drastically<br />
just by rearranging the words. Our enlightened<br />
friend could’ve just as easily said “Are you Muslim?”,<br />
but instead chose the tactful approach of “You aren’t…<br />
are you?” not at all subtly hinting at the negative consequences<br />
waiting for me if I answer incorrectly in his mind.<br />
I explained to him that I’m not a Muslim, or religious at all<br />
for that matter, or that it was even his business to concern<br />
himself with my, or anyone else’s, philosophy on life and<br />
death. I explained that I don’t eat pigs because they are<br />
intelligent, social animals that don’t want to live a short<br />
inhumane life before being killed and hacked up for the<br />
glory of being a couple of strips of bacon on his hangover<br />
burger some morning after a night of drinking with the<br />
boys and watching NASCAR.<br />
The climate in America is so thick with fear and racism<br />
right now, and there doesn’t seem to be an end in sight…<br />
at least not for four years or so. People are having a very<br />
hard time understanding the difference between religions<br />
and countries. Don’t believe everything you read in the<br />
30 - Brevard Live April 2017
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