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No one in the whole room, aside from LHPR, understood<br />

what had happened. <strong>The</strong>y never would. We didn’t want to deface<br />

his memory with ideas of monsters and possession. Plus, they<br />

wouldn’t have believed us, anyway.<br />

I’d never had to bury anyone before. Watching dirt pour over<br />

the closed casket, covering up any last hopes of seeing him again<br />

forever, was almost too much. Mr. Hamilton broke down and wept<br />

on his wife’s shoulder. I took Gunner’s hand and felt it shaking<br />

along with mine.<br />

Once the ceremony was over, people broke into little groups<br />

to reminisce more about the late Tucker Hamilton. A few people<br />

were starting to laugh at happy memories. Some of them were still<br />

crying. I just wanted to step away for a minute. It was kind of hard<br />

to breathe in the cemetery.<br />

Gunner stuck with Ethan, who was talking with Tucker’s<br />

aunt. I wove through a few headstones to stand apart from everyone<br />

else. My shoulders felt incredibly heavy, and they sagged with the<br />

weight as I read the inscription on Martha Giorda<strong>no</strong>’s grave. Ever a<br />

mother, ever a saint.<br />

“I think what they put on Tucker’s was better.” <strong>The</strong> voice<br />

startled me, and I turned around to find Jamie standing with his<br />

hands awkwardly in the pockets of his suit. He smiled shyly, like he<br />

wasn’t sure if it was okay. “‘Life is <strong>no</strong>t forever, love is.’”<br />

I offered the biggest smile I could muster in return, which<br />

was admittedly pretty pathetic, but I tried. “Yeah. Me, too.”<br />

“Are you holding up okay?” he asked.<br />

I shrugged one shoulder. “I guess. I mean, as okay as I can<br />

be, you k<strong>no</strong>w? It’s <strong>no</strong>t exactly a birthday party with clowns and<br />

balloon animals.”<br />

He winced. Okay, <strong>no</strong>te to self. Humor: <strong>no</strong>t really appropriate<br />

at funerals. “I just wanted to tell you that if you ever need anything,<br />

you can call me. Anytime, okay? I, uh ... I lost my dad last year. So<br />

I sort of get what this is like.”<br />

His words reached my heart, even where I had buried it deep<br />

in my chest. “Thank you.” This time my smile was real.<br />

196

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