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'I don’t want anyone,’ I said.<br />

‘Then leave him. He is too weak for you.’<br />

'I expect nothing,’ I said. She handed me a tissue when she saw my<br />

tears. ‘He does.’<br />

Rani Sahiba folded her hands.<br />

‘He is all I have. If you stay here, he will never move on. You may<br />

be a big shot in Delhi. However, the Prince of Dumraon won’t be with<br />

a Marwari divorcee. Respect in society is also worth something,’ she<br />

said.<br />

I wasn’t respectable, I guess.<br />

‘What do you want me to do? Stop meeting him?’<br />

‘That won’t be enough. He won’t stop chasing you. You have done<br />

mayajaal on him.’<br />

Before I could answer, Madhav arrived. He pulled me by my hand<br />

to take me to the classroom.<br />

Mayajaal, an illusory trap. Nice one, Rani Sahiba.<br />

5 March 2009<br />

I’m in Delhi. Dad passed away last night.<br />

I saw him in the ICU yesterday afternoon. He could barely talk.<br />

He said I had to meet Gupta uncle, his lawyer.<br />

I went to Gupta uncle’s office. He told me my father had stashed<br />

away some money for me in a secret account.<br />

‘Don’t tell your brothers or anyone at home. They may sue and<br />

the matter will be stuck in the courts for years,’ Gupta uncle said.<br />

I signed the papers. I remained silent during the funeral.<br />

I was in two minds. I knew why Dad was giving me the money. It<br />

was hush money, money for me to go away from his mind, from his<br />

conscience, from his guilt. But I told myself to be practical. I will<br />

need the money where I’m going.<br />

Also, maybe I was ready to forget and move on. Not forgive, but<br />

forget.<br />

14 April 2009<br />

I leave in three days. No more drama. No more dealing with

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