half-girlfriend-chetan-bhagat

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‘I have to visit five bars,’ I said and stepped out. Priya looked at Jyoti, confused. ‘You are drunk. Come back in so we can leave. It’s cold outside,’ Shailesh said, in a firm but annoyed voice. ‘I am not drunk,’ I screamed, stumbling on the road and falling on all fours. I twisted my right ankle and it hurt like hell. ‘Can you cut the drama and come back in?’ Shailesh said. The girls saw me wince and were about to step out when Shailesh stopped them. 'Are you coming or not? I'm running out of patience, bro,' he said. ‘I have to visit five bars,’ I said again, still wincing from the pain of the fall. ‘Chutiya,’ Shailesh said. He slammed the door shut and the cab zoomed off. A few cold drops fell on my face. I looked up at the sky. Little white snowflakes were falling everywhere. A homeless man offered a hand to help me stand up. Only the most pathetic can help the most pathetic. ‘I have to visit five bars,’ I told the homeless man.
41 'I'm so ashamed, I can’t even look at you guys,' I said, eyes down. I sat at the dining table in Shailesh’s house. I had brought muffins, bagels, cream cheese, fresh orange juice, takeaway coffee and fruit from Dean and Deluca, a neighbourhood deli. Shailesh did not respond, ‘When did you come back? And when did you get so much food?’Jyoti said. ‘I came back at 6. I tried to sleep but the guilt wouldn’t let me. So I went out and got breakfast.’ Jyoti said, ‘You need not have bothered. We were so worried about you last night.' ‘No, we weren’t,’ Shailesh cut Jyoti off. I said to her,‘Sorry, Jyoti. I behaved like an ass in front of your friend. I embarrassed you guys. Luckily, I wili be gone soon.’ Shailesh didn’t say anything. He just stared at me without a word. ‘Shailesh, I'm sorry. I had too much wine. I didn’t know Greek wine was so potent,' ‘That’s not the point, Madhav. We all get high and have fun. You disrespected us. Priya felt horrible. You ruined a special evening,' ‘I’m sorry. You are right.’ ‘Did you see yourself? Staggering on the road screaming “five more bars”. What has happened to you?’ ‘It’s sinking in finally. I might never meet Riya again. It is the realization that my effort was a waste. It got to me yesterday.’ ‘You are still visiting places. Five bars, five bars, you kept saying. What the fuck, Madhav?’ 'I never went. I couldn’t. I passed out.’ ‘How did you get home?’Jyoti said. ‘I woke up shivering near a bus stop. Took a cab and came home.’ Jyoti and Shailesh looked at each other. ‘You might be right, Shailesh. I may need a psychiatrist,’ I said.
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Praise for the author Many writers
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First published by Rupa Publication
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For my mother For rural India For t
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expectations, Love accepts some fla
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‘Half-girlfriend,’ ‘What?’
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possible. ‘She used to like your
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‘I’d like to cancel a ticket on
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1 Where?’ I gasped, trying to cat
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‘Do you speak in full sentences?
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Piyush to translate what I had said
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‘I’ll do my best, sir.’
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passed the ball. The crowd tittered
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the next half. As her team meeting
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even Hindi. He meant: will you play
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‘Yeah. But if they do, then see y
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anymore. I wanted to fit into my ne
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We had played a half-court game; I
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iuinraon, the oldest princely state
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‘They're ditzy. Forget them,' she
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The hands-on-hips pose meant no fur
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is bothering you. And, if something
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Police guards tell you to stop and
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‘Even though you eat all my lunch
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me. ‘Madhav, please understand, I
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6 She entered my room and I slammed
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‘Good observation.’ I looked st
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'No woman has ever meant more to me
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Shailesh said. 'What?’ I said. As
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‘Shut up, fatso,’ Shailesh said
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I stepped inside. A maid gestured f
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‘So thoughtful. This will keep me
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‘It’s okay, uncle,’ Rohan sai
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‘Riya, babe, you only got guy fri
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spring rolls. 'Madhav, so many gues
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Riya raised her eyebrows from the d
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‘You are the new exotic creature
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‘Have you been in love before?’
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I had proposed to her. The least sh
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said in a baby voice. I took that a
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secretary must have asked a hotel i
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11 We had practised for less than t
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I went back to my book. ‘What do
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‘What is your problem? I’m not
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She stood up to change her seat.
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12 Six months later After my break-
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asshole doing here? It's amazing ho
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isk steps away from me. ‘Riya,’
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13 We walked out to her car. She ha
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Our eyes met. Maybe it was my imagi
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‘I’m sorry.’ ‘It’s fine.
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more dignity than I thought I had.
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14 One year and three months later
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The other interviewers cleared thei
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‘It’s just a way they express l
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ACT II Bihar
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class, rest low class’ bullshit t
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‘Like whom?’ ‘The over-educat
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I folded my hands to wish both men,
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‘SMDC didn’t send anyone,’ he
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The difference between seventy kids
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answers for us.’ ‘I am from her
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treatment,’ I said. ‘Now the vi
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not declined the ticket.’ ‘What
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18 I reached the Raj High School pl
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tray from her. Mrs Ojha touched my
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My mother knew the political game.
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19 I prepared a proposal for Ojha a
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I smiled. I did go to the best Engl
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‘We are a poor school. We don’t
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20 'Speech?’ my mother said. 'In
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‘So what do I do?’ ‘You work
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hotel called Nest, provided I didn'
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‘I’m Madhav,’ I said. ‘All
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22 I returned to Dumraon after my P
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I looked around. I wondered if I sh
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lobby, my eyes fixed on the entranc
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23 We sat at a corner table and had
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‘Nestle. I am in sales, for their
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‘What?’ ‘Ask me things. I wil
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famine. I bought the two-rupee tick
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‘All the time.You should come som
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8. Calling call centres and choosin
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‘All we have for peace in this ci
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choosing my words with care, afraid
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inaugurated her hot plate and utens
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There isn’t much to see in Dumrao
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27 Savitri tai served us daal and s
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‘Sometimes.’ My mother didn’t
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My mother did not respond. Riya too
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28 'I have a confession to make,’
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‘Can we please not do all this ot
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the quality of the kiss, or what di
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29 'So this is the famous Dumraon R
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I moved to class IV and then to cla
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‘You are so sweet. There is no ne
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Riya had not reacted much to her fa
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‘You want to sleep here?’ No an
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indignant. Samantha had called me o
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the royal family,’ Samantha said.
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‘And in this backward Bihar is th
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Students took over the stage again.
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talk later, okay? I need to rush. I
Page 207 and 208: ‘Many people are coming home for
Page 209 and 210: I asked you to stay back last night
Page 211 and 212: ‘Where is that divorcee friend of
Page 213 and 214: ‘Sure, sir. Sir, I will move her
Page 215 and 216: notice period.' ‘When did she res
Page 217 and 218: ‘Just take them,’ I said in a f
Page 219 and 220: the gifts that arrived from London
Page 221 and 222: ‘I am not comparing anything. I w
Page 223 and 224: silence. So I walked up to the beds
Page 225 and 226: 'I don’t want anyone,’ I said.
Page 227 and 228: 35 Chanakya Hotel, Patna Madhav con
Page 229 and 230: from her in years,’ Madhav said.
Page 231 and 232: 36 After Chetan Bhagat left, I rema
Page 233 and 234: urger and a large order of French f
Page 235 and 236: ‘Ah, no wonder Michael said you h
Page 237 and 238: 37 'Name?’ the officer at the imm
Page 239 and 240: done an MBA from Harvard after Step
Page 241 and 242: I reached the southeast corner of t
Page 243 and 244: 38 You bagged a Gates Foundation gr
Page 245 and 246: ‘Everything? You thought she was
Page 247 and 248: singers are?’ ‘Too many, my fri
Page 249 and 250: 39 The Gates Foundation’s head of
Page 251 and 252: Shailesh gasped. He covered his mou
Page 253 and 254: 40 'No Indian singer here. I’m so
Page 255 and 256: vegetables, arrived on our table. I
Page 257: around Pylos. I used to live here e
Page 261 and 262: ‘Thank you, Madhav. I look forwar
Page 263 and 264: 42 Of course, my visit to Union Squ
Page 265 and 266: ‘I actually have to go home.’ T
Page 267 and 268: 43 'Surprise!’ A crowd of people
Page 269 and 270: Saturday and Sunday. Each table had
Page 271 and 272: whispered to Shailesh, making up wh
Page 273 and 274: Where can I get a cab?’ 'Want one
Page 275 and 276: it said. ‘C’mon, Madhav. Be ama
Page 277 and 278: You're beautiful, it's true.' The b
Page 279 and 280: ‘Sorry, I left because I got scar
Page 281 and 282: She unzipped a side zipper and step
Page 283 and 284: ‘Tourists spend a day with our ki
Page 285: Table of Contents girlfriend My pho
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