Cosmopolitan - November 2016 UK

NOVEMBER 2016 

STAND 

OUT! 

Where fashion 

insiders shop 

(for less) 

THE 

MILLENNIAL 

POWER LIST 

The 25 most successful 

women under 35* 

(*and what you can learn from them) 

ZERO CALORIES AND 

4-HOUR WORKOUTS 

The health bloggers killing 

themselves to be famous 

11 

9 770141 055283 

WWW.COSMOPOLITAN.CO.UK 

THE RISE OF 

PORN FACE 

Quick! Turn to 

p70 to see if 

you have it 

YOUNG, 

SINGLE, 

HOT AND 

BARRED 

What VIP clubs 

have against 

girls like you 

ZOELLA 

The secret life of 

a social media star 

Rule No 1: Get therapy. Lots of it

Contents 

NOVEMBER 2016 

COVER PHOTOGRAPH BEN RIGGOTT. FASHION DIRECTOR AMY BANNERMAN. HAIR DAYARUCI AT ONE REPRESENTS, USING REDKEN. MAKE UP CASSIE LOMAS AT CREATIVES AGENCY, USING NARS. 

FASHION ASSISTANT MADDY ALFORD. ZOELLA WEARS TOP, £90, BACK. TROUSERS, FROM A SELECTION, NEW LOOK. EARRINGS, £175, ASHLEY WILLIAMS. THIS PAGE: PHOTOGRAPH KATE DAVIS-MACLEOD. 

FASHION DIRECTOR AMY BANNERMAN. CARDIGAN, £365, EQUIPMENT AT NET-A-PORTER.COM. TROUSERS, £685, BARBARA CASASOLA. GLASSES, £255, GUCCI AT EYEWEARBRANDS.COM 

✱ On the cover 

34 

70 

94 

104 

116 

158 

19 

21 

22 

25 

26 

29 

30 

32 

ZOELLA The secret life 

of a social-media star 

THE RISE OF PORN FACE 

Quick! Turn to our feature 

to see if you have it! 

ZERO CALORIES AND 

4-HOUR WORKOUTS 

The health bloggers killing 

themselves to be famous 

THE MILLENNIAL POWER 

LIST The 25 most successful 

women under 35 

YOUNG, SINGLE, HOT AND 

BARRED What VIP clubs have 

against girls like you 

STAND OUT! Where fashion 

insiders shop (for less) 

✱ Know 

SNAPCHAT AND CHILL? 

Why the social network for 

freaky selfies is taking on Netflix 

HOT RIGHT NOW! Clever 

skincare innovations fresh from 

the scientists’ bubbling beakers 

EYE OPENERS Brighten 

sleepy peepers with these 

perky eyeshadow tricks 

WELL, HELLO THERE… 

Nashville star Sam Palladio 

reveals his romantic foibles 

CONFESSIONS Cone heads, 

broken beds and things that 

go trump in the night 

ODD MAN OUT It’s the World 

Cup of weird crushes, and only 

one strangely hot guy can win 

TITAN TITLES Fresh new books 

expected to sell like hot cronuts 

THE COMPASS The only 

cultural advice you need 

128 

Free-spirited 

adventures in 

tailoring 

COSMOPOLITAN · 9

Contents 

156 

Doorstep 

diet dinners 

digested 

104 

Ballerina Misty 

Copeland, and 

other young 

icons 

138 

Glimmering 

metallic hair 

shades 

✱ Wear 

47 

48 

56 

59 

62 

HELLO DAHLEK! Yesterday’s 

evil cyborg; today’s lust-worthy 

loafer. Now that’s upcycling 

TRUE COLOURS Upstage grey 

days in these cheery hues 

THE JEANIUS What’s short-ish, 

wide-legged and worn all over? 

HEY, HOW DO I WEAR… 

Pyjamas in the daytime (and not 

on a duvet day)? Here’s how 

THE GREAT COVER-UP The 

coat of your dreams is 96% likely 

to be in here. That’s just science 

✱ Glow 

69 

77 

78 

SELFIE PRESERVATION Aside 

from taking bad photos, is your 

phone spoiling your actual face? 

INGE HAS ISSUES Soothing 

solutions to irritable situations 

OIL BUSTERS Grease in your 

T-zone? Who you gonna call? 

✱ Earn 

81 

ONE-TRACK MIND The lost 

art of focusing on one thing at 

a ti… Oh look, another retweet! 

82 

87 

91 

92 

98 

101 

122 

128 

138 

SELF MADE What’s behind Jo 

Malone’s sweet-smelling success? 

THE (WORK) ROBOTS ARE 

COMING Machines after your 

job? Boot them into safe mode 

with future-proof career hacks 

✱ Move 

GOOD AS GOLD The healthy 

drink that’ll spice up your life 

THE AB SCULPTOR Want a 

stomach like Karlie Kloss’? Her 

personal trainer shows you how 

SHAKE IT OFF We sort the 

muscle from the hustle in 

the world of protein powders 

YOU’RE AN ANIMAL Work 

out like a beast in wild prints 

✱ Read 

TV STAR. MOTHER. 

ALCOHOLIC Newsreader 

Elizabeth Vargas recalls how 

drinking jeopardised her career 

SUIT YOURSELF How to wear 

tailoring if you’re more easy 

rider than city slicker 

METAL HEADS Shock with 

shimmering coloured hair 

✱ Lust 

147 

148 

149 

150 

153 

155 

156 

12 

15 

115 

170 

GIVE TO GET (SOME) How 

one good deed leads to a lover 

MY BEST SEX EVER WAS… 

with a sex chair 

WORST DATES EVER If music 

be the food of love, these 

dating dunces are tone-deaf 

FIRST LOVE Can Rhiannon 

and Will get back to love? 

✱ Play 

WOULD YOU NIBBLE ON 

THIS? Unloved vegetables 

WLTM open-minded diners 

DESIGN DOUBLES Treat your 

house like a (stylish) hotel 

DOES DOORSTEP DIET 

FOOD REALLY WORK? Slim 

dinners for kitchen klutzes 

✱ And the rest… 

MEET TEAM COSMOPOLITAN 

FROM THE EDITOR 

COSMOPOLITAN 

INFLUENCER AWARDS 2016 

COSMOPOLITAN CONTRACT 

The fancy-dress party 

PHOTOGRAPHS REGAN CAMERON, DAN MATTHEWS, JON COMPSON 

10 · COSMOPOLITAN

FARRAH STORR 

Editor 

PA to the Editor JESSICA BROWNING 

James May. Without a 

blow-dry, it’s uncanny 

ENTERTAINMENT 

Entertainment Director LOTTIE LUMSDEN 

Dragon’s Den’s 

Hilary Devey – same 

hairstyle, lipstick 

and taste in blazers 

Brigitte Bardot – but at 81 

CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER 

ANNA JONES 

Brand Development Director ALISTAIR WOOD 

Brand Director HAYLEY LEWIS (maternity) Strategy Director GEORGINA HOLT 

Business Manager RACHEL PAWSON Group Partnerships Director LAURA CHASE 

Art Director SIMEEN KARIM (maternity) 

Creative Solutions Acting Art Directors DALJIT KAUR BABBER, JOJO MA 

Partnerships Project Manager ALEXANDER STANHOPE 

Head of Events and Sponsorship VICTORIA ARCHBOLD 

Marketing and Campaign Manager VICTOIRE LAURIN Events Manager LEAH LESSER 

Regional Business Development Director CLARE CROOKES 

Director of Hearst Magazines Direct CAMERON DUNN 

Head of Consumer Sales and Marketing MATTHEW BLAIZE-SMITH 

Group Customer Marketing Manager NATASHA CHAMBERLIN 

Senior Marketing Executive TILLY MICHELL 

Head of Marketing Operations JENNIFER SMITH 

Head of Marketing Promotions CHARLOTTE CUNLIFFE 

Head of Digital Marketing SEEMA KUMARI 

PR Manager BEN BOLTON 

Production Director JOHN HUGHES Production Manager ALICIA GRAY 

Senior Ad Production Controller PAUL TAYLOR 

HEARST MAGAZINES UK 

Managing Director, Brands MICHAEL ROWLEY Chief Revenue Officer DUNCAN CHATER 

Director of Communications LISA QUINN Chief Financial Officer CLAIRE BLUNT Director of 

Editorial Strategy & Content LOUISE COURT Circulation & Marketing Director REID HOLLAND 

Chief Digital Officer DARREN GOLDSBY HR Director SURINDER SIMMONS 

12 · COSMOPOLITAN 

Deputy Editor SHOSHANA GOLDBERG Creative Director STUART SELNER 

FEATURES 

Features Director AMY GRIER Senior Editor CATRIONA INNES 

Junior Writer JENNIFER SAVIN Features Intern JOSIE COPSON 

DESIGN 

Art Director VICTORIA HORN (maternity) Acting Art Director LEWIS CHAM 

Senior Designer HARRY WINFIELD Junior Designer JESSICA LOCKETT 

PICTURES 

Picture Director CAT COSTELLOE Picture Editor GEMMA ROBERTS 

GROUP EDITORIAL PRODUCTION 

Workflow Director CATHY LEVY Chief Sub-Editor HANNAH JONES 

Deputy Chief Sub-Editors ROBIN WILKS, SAMANTHA DE HAAS, 

Senior Sub-Editor FRANCESCA COTTON 

BEAUTY 

Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN Beauty Editor CASSIE POWNEY (maternity) 

Acting Beauty Editor FIONA EMBLETON Beauty Assistant LAURA CAPON 

FASHION 

Fashion Director AMY BANNERMAN Senior Fashion Editor SAIREY STEMP 

Bookings Editor KIAAN ORANGE Fashion Assistant MADDY ALFORD 

COSMOPOLITAN.CO.UK 

Digital Editor CLAIRE HODGSON Fashion Editor JESS EDWARDS 

News & Entertainment Editor ANNA LEWIS Beauty Editor BRIDGET MARCH (maternity) 

Acting Beauty Editor VICTORIA JOWETT Social Media Manager LAUREN SMITH 

Writers DUSTY BAXTER-WRIGHT, CATRIONA HARVEY-JENNER 

Social Media Assistant & Writer CHARLOTTE WARWICK 

CONTRIBUTORS 

SALLY GILLAM, RACHEL MORRIS, AMANDA STATHAM, SHELLY VELLA 

Editorial Business Manager MERRICK CASSANOVA 

RANDOM 

QUESTION 

OF THE MONTH 

Who do you 

most fear you 

look like? 

I am disgraced XFactor 

winner James Arthur 

Prince George minus the 

dungarees (and inheritance) 

Boris Johnson 

(it’s the hair…) 

HEARST MAGAZINES INTERNATIONAL 

Senior Vice President/CFO and General Manager SIMON HORNE 

Senior Vice President/International Publishing Director JEANNETTE CHANG 

Senior Vice President/Editorial Director KIM ST CLAIR BODDEN 

Fashion/Entertainment Director KRISTEN INGERSOLL 

International Editions Editor JACQUELYN GALGEY 

Editor-in-Chief, Cosmopolitan (1965-1997) HELEN GURLEY BROWN 

INTERNATIONAL EDITIONS 

Editor, Argentina MARÍA JOSÉ GRILLO Australia CLAIRE ASKEW 

Brazil CRISTINA NAUMOVS Bulgaria Chile IGNACIA URIBE 

China YVONNE LIU Croatia ALEKSANDRA ORLIĆ 

Czech Republic SABRINA KARASOVA Finland STINA MANTYNIEMI 

France MARIE LA FONTA Germany ANJA DELASTIK Greece 

Hong Kong RUQIYAH LAW KAM YING Hungary JOHANNA SABJÁN 

India NANDINI BHALLA Indonesia FILISYA THUNGGAWAN Italy FRANCESCA DELOGU 

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Lithuania VIOLETA KALIKAUSKIENE Malaysia Middle East BROOKE DALLOW Mongolia 

Netherlands ANNE MARIJE DE VRIES LENTSCH Philippines MYRZA SISON 

Poland HANNA WOLSKA Portugal SANDRA MAURICIO Romania DIANA COLCER Russia 

POLINA SOKHRANOVA Serbia NASJA VELJKOVIC 

Slovenia MANCA ČAMPA PAVLIN South Africa 

Spain ANA UREÑA Sri Lanka TREVINA ABEYESUNDERE Turkey OZLEM KOTAN 

Ukraine OLEKSANDRA BURYNSKA USA MICHELE PROMAULAYKO 

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FIRST WORD 

FROM THE 

EDITOR 

I have just spent the last two hours down a virtual 

rabbit hole of bile. It’s not a great place to linger 

on a Sunday morning, I can tell you. In said rabbit 

hole I have been called everything from “a selfish, silly cow” 

who has “legs like tree stumps” and whose “husband should 

leave her for a Thai bride” to someone responsible for 

“committing genocide on our nation!” (Some context: I had 

written two online articles: one about my decision not to 

have children, the second about how I had toned up using 

weights. So not the world’s most controversial journalism.) 

Maybe you’ve experienced something similar: this 

faceless, noxious bullying, designed to cause as much 

psychological damage to its victim as possible. We call the 

people who do this ‘trolls’. They sit in the murky shadows of 

the internet with names like Stickytape and Treebrain (two 

of my personal aggressors, I kid you not), waiting and 

plotting for someone, anyone, to take a swipe at, only to 

retreat back into the virtual darkness from which they came 

to watch their comments blow up like dynamite. 

I have spent many hours trying to track down the likes of 

Stickytape and Treebrain. But it is impossible. I have chased 

them through websites and tracked them down into dark, 

angry forums, only to be met with dead ends and silence. 

And this is the problem. To wound someone without any 

physical proximity is dangerous. Not only does it allow you 

to dehumanise the person you see only on a screen, but it is 

far easier to rest in denial about the impact of your actions. 

May I now suggest something: 25th November is the 

UN’s International Day For The Elimination Of Violence 

Against Women. (And, let’s be clear, online abuse constitutes 

a violation.) So I have an idea. Why don’t we all take just 

five minutes out of our day on 25th November to write 

something positive and uplifting in the comments of 

anything written by a woman. We’d love it if you could 

help us – because if we all shout loud enough, we can, at 

least for one day, drown out the toxic noise. 

FARRAH ST 

Edi 

Follow me on Twitter @Farrah_Storr and Instagram @farrahstorr 

Haveyoubeen 

avictim 

oftrolling? 

Research 

conducted by 

Hearst Empowering 

Women found that 

52% of women under 

35 have received abuse 

for expressing an 

opinion online, while 

45% aged 24 or under 

have received threats 

of violence. So what 

can you do? Go to 

Empowering.hearst. 

co.uk for our Trolling 

Toolkit, which has 

expert advice from 

the UK Safer Internet 

Centre, LGTB charity 

Stonewall, campaigner 

and Cosmopolitan 

contributor Natasha 

Devon, and The Crown 

Prosecution Service. 

From how to take legal 

action to whether it’s 

best to block a troll 

or engage, you’ll find 

answers. It’s time to 

#ReclaimTheInternet. 

Ourmonthinpics… 

Right: Web 

Writer Cat 

compares 

gold medals 

in Rio with 

Laura Trott 

(Cat won 

hers for 

duty-free 

shopping) 

Left: 

Entertainment 

Director Lottie 

doing the very 

serious work 

of sampling 

carrot-cake 

ice cream 

with Zoella 

And kiss of 

the month 

goes to 

Fashion 

Assistant 

Maddy’s 

latest admirer 

15

I F I T ’ S H O T A N D H A P P E N I N G , I T ’ S I N H E R E . . . 

SNAPCHAT AND CHILL? 

It’s a full-time job keeping track of all the streaming services we’ve subscribed 

to over the last 12 months, never mind whether we remembered to pay the 

actual TV licence. (No, seriously, did we?) But Netflix, Amazon Prime and 

Now TV be warned, because soon we could all be watching our favourite TV 

shows for free via social media instead. Yes, you heard right. NBC has just 

signed a landmark deal with Snapchat to create original content and shows for 

the app’s audience. It will all kick off this autumn when hit franchises including 

The Voice and Saturday Night Live will premiere, as well as a host of brand-new 

programmes. This, of course, comes just months after the app streamed 

its first-ever film, Sickhouse. Videos of us using the lolling-dog-tongue filter 

aren’t really going to cut the mustard any more, eh? 

WORDS LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPHS SHUTTERSTOCK, HEARST STUDIOS 

COSMOPOLITAN · 19

Fresh Vitamin Nectar 

Vibrancy-Boosting Face 

Mask, £52 Citrus ingredients, 

the texture of jam and the 

goodness of vitamin C. 

Wear it, don’t eat it. 

Dior Dreamskin Perfect 

Skin Cushion, £62 It 

looks like a cushion 

foundation; feels like 

a tinted moisturiser on 

speed, hydrating and 

evening out skintone. 

WORDS FIONA EMBLETON. STILL LIFES HEARST STUDIOS 

Shiseido 

Bio-Performance 

LiftDynamic Eye 

Treatment, £60 

Yeast and vitamin 

A encourage 

plumping stem 

cells, helping to 

stave off old-lady 

under-eyes. 

Dr Barbara Sturm 

Darker Skin Tones 

Face Cream, £140 

What’s better than 

skincare that knows 

black skin has 

different needs? 

A hefty dose of 

anti-inflammatories 

to prevent spots 

and pigmentation. 

Indeed Laboratories 

Vitamin C24, £24.99 Pure 

vitamin C can degrade on 

contact with air. Not this. 

Its stable dose keeps your 

anti-ageing game strong. 

Origins Rituali 

Tea Matcha 

Madness Powder 

Face Mask, £30 

The beauty 

version of a 

matcha superlatte 

has landed. 

Whisk with water 

for a frothy mask 

rich in detoxing 

chlorophyll. 

Kiehl’s Nightly 

Refining Micro- 

Peel Concentrate, 

£40 This 

exfoliant uses 

quinoa husks for 

skin so smooth, 

it rivals a 

professional peel 

after two weeks. 

Hot 

right 

now! 

Skincare innovations to 

break the internet – and 

transform your regime 

Espa Tri-Active 

Advanced Instant 

Facial, £58 Three 

is the magic 

number – a 

breakthrough 

all-in-one serum, 

oil and essence 

(beefed-up toner). 

Niod Superoxide 

Dismutase 

Saccharide Mist, 

£34 Sod off, red 

patches! The 

antioxidant SOD 

(superoxide 

dismutase, FYI) 

in this reduces 

inflammation 

from UVB rays. 

Yes To Miracle Oil 

2-in-1 Cleansing + 

Moisturizing Facial 

Wipes, £4.99 for 30 

Natural-cloth wipes 

that decompose for a 

clean environmental 

footprint and face. 

Roger&Gallet 

Le Soin Aura 

Mirabilis Beauty 

Vinegar, £15 

In the 1800s, 

pore-tightening 

vinegars made 

from flowers 

and fruit were 

legend. Really. 

This is a cool 

update on 

regular toner. 

Ren Flash Hydro-Boost, £34 

It’s a moisturiser, but not 

as you know it. Pat on the 

face then add a tiny amount 

of water to activate the 

skin-plumping peptides. 

COSMOPOLITAN · 21

TRY THE 

TREND 

EYE 

openers 

Want wide-awake eyes? Then there’s 

only one place to put your shadow 

1 

THE 

NATURAL 

BEAUTY 

DIFFICULTY RATING 1/3 

If you’re prone to late-night 

Netflix binges, inner-corner 

highlighting is your new 

best friend. Use it to 

instantly look more awake 

(trust us, we’ve tried 

everything else). Make-up 

artist Pat McGrath 

showcased this at Stella 

McCartney, where the only 

noticeable make-up was 

a flash of V-shaped white 

eyeliner on the inner corner. 

Try it yourself with the 

By Terry Ombre Blackstar 

in Blond Opal (£29). It’s 

not white, but a line of 

this champagne crayon 

along your inner tear 

duct will make you look 

almost angelic. 

2 

THE 

PROM 

QUEEN 

DIFFICULTY RATING 2/3 

In her jewel-encrusted tiara 

and pearl earrings, Gigi 

looked every inch the 

pageant princess as she 

glided down the Tommy 

TOMMY HILFIGER A/W 16 

2 

Hilfiger catwalk. Still, 

it’s not her crown we’re 

interested in stealing 

though, it’s that innercorner 

highlight. To get the 

look, use Diego Dalla Palma 

Long-Wearing Eyeshadow 

in Pale Pink (£14), this time 

colouring in your entire lid 

but focusing on the inner 

corner. To avoid poking 

yourself in the eye, blend 

out with your fingers 

before applying glitter. Use 

Topshop’s Glitter Liner in 

Wisp (£7.50) as eyeliner, 

starting at the inner corner. 

Finish with a few coats of 

glitter on the tips of your 

lashes and practise your 

acceptance speech. 

Diego Dalla Palma 

Long-Wearing 

Eyeshadow in 

Pale Pink, £14 By Terry 

Ombre 

Blackstar 

in Blond 

Opal, £29 

Sara Hill 

Metallic 

Pigment in 

Pewter, £16 

JULIEN MACDONALD A/W 16 

STELLA McCARTNEY A/W 16 

Topshop 

Glitter 

Liner in 

Wisp, 

£7.50 

3 

1 

3 

THE 

GRUNGER 

DIFFICULTY 

RATING 2/3 

“It’s a great big stonking 

black eye.” That’s how 

make-up artist Val Garland 

described her rock-chick 

look for Julien Macdonald. 

Garland added a flash of 

silver pigment in the inner 

corner of the eye for the 

dark-haired models and 

gold for the blondes. Use 

a black gel eyeliner all over 

your lid as a base and press 

Sara Hill’s Metallic Pigment 

in Pewter (£16) into the 

inner corner with your index 

finger. For a glam-rock 

version, spray a flat, synthetic 

eyeshadow brush, like the 

Zoeva Luxe Smoky Shader 

Brush (£9), with MAC Fix + 

(£17.50), before dipping in 

the pigment. This will create 

an intense foiled effect that 

would make Bowie proud. 

WORDS: LAURA CAPON. PHOTOGRAPHS JASON LLOYD-EVANS. STILL LIFE HEARST STUDIOS 

22 · COSMOPOLITAN

WELL, 

HELLO 

Sam Palladio 

The guitar-wielding underdog 

of Nashville even makes 

a rollneck look sexy 

HIS VITALS 

Age 29 

Home town 

Penzance, Cornwall 

Big break 

Landing the role 

of country-music 

star Gunnar Scott 

on Golden Globenominated 

TV show 

Nashville in 2012. 

WORDS LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPHS CPI SYNDICATION. SAM’S DUET STAY MY LOVE WITH UNA HEALY IS RELEASED THIS MONTH 

Perfect 

boyfriend? 

“LastyearIthrewmy 

girlfriend a surprise 

party in Nashville. I got 

three of her favourite 

Grammy-winning 

Americana artists to 

play to 150 friends 

and family. She was 

completely surprised.” 

Social 

media 

“I’m not into girls who 

take themselves too 

seriously and are 

obsessed with Twitter 

and Instagram. I’d rather 

have a real conversation 

than watch somebody 

Snapchat about their 

life and their breakfast.” 

What I 

look for in 

a partner 

“Really manly hands! 

Just joking. Somebody 

who loves watching live 

music, dancing crazily, 

singing along at the 

top of their voice and 

not giving a shit.” 

Least favourite body part 

“I never had braces and I’m surprised how far I’ve got 

on American TV with bad English teeth. I thought 

someone would say, ‘We’re going to give you a 

Superman smile.’ I’ve always been conscious of it.” 

Crazy fact #1 

Sam had never been 

to America before 

landing the role 

of Gunnar, and 

auditioned via 

a webcam in his 

bedroom at 4am. 

Crazy fact #2 

He has a phobia of 

nail files and the 

sound they make. 

Obsessive fans 

“A number of fans have done portraits 

of me. It’s crazy that someone 

has taken the time to sit down and 

paint a beautiful picture of my face. 

It’s very flattering, but weird.” 

✱ Sam plays Ed in 

Humans. Series two 

starts this month 

on Channel 4. 

Catch Nashville 

on Sky Atlantic 

25

Because 

sometimes 

life is 

stranger 

than 

fiction 

PINK FOR 

I bought a new 

A WINK 

pair of trousers for 

an important client 

meeting. Later, I saw that 

I’d bought a faulty pair that 

had zero stitching between 

the crotch and the fly. I was 

wearing bright-pink pants 

and had stood up in the 

meeting, so there was no 

way they didn’t notice. 

GEMMA, 25, ACCOUNT 

MANAGER, HAMPSHIRE 

A HORROR SHOW 

I went to dinner with a ridiculously 

boring date. I’d said I’d go to the 

cinema with him afterwards and it felt 

awkward to just leave. So I claimed 

I was petrified by the movie (I wasn’t 

at all), ran out and never looked back. 

LIBERTY, 24, FACILITIES 

MANAGER, FAREHAM 

TICKETS PLEASE 

On a train, the conductor came round checking our tickets. I gave him mine to be 

inspected – but somehow ended up handing him a sanitary towel. That was certainly 

not going to get me from London to Birmingham. 

RACHEL, 21, STUDENT, SURREY 

STRIPPED BARE 

AT A NEW YEAR’S 

EVE PARTY I GOT 

SEPARATED FROM MY 

WIFE. UNFORTUNATELY 

(FOR HER), WHILE 

WE WERE APART, 

I RAN DOWN THE 

STREET NAKED WITH 

A TRAFFIC CONE ON 

MY HEAD. SHE WAS 

NOT AMUSED. 

DAVID, 33, SALES 

ASSISTANT, LONDON 

26 · COSMOPOLITAN

AS CONFESSED TO JOSIE COPSON. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR AND 

MAKE-UP EMILY JANE WILLIAMS. WITH THANKS TO THE HOXTON (THEHOXTON.COM) 

A GOOD 

My now-exboyfriend 

and 

BANG 

I got a little too 

aggressive during 

a play fight on my 

bed. The wooden 

slats split right down 

the middle and, because 

I was living at home, 

we had to go downstairs 

and tell my mum 

what had happened. 

She didn’t believe it 

was done in such an 

innocent way. It still 

makes me go red when 

I think about it. 

IZZY, 21, MAKE-UP 

ARTIST, WORCESTER 

FELINE FRIGHT 

I had to take my cat to the vet. Medical 

situations make me nervous, so 

when a very attractive male vet put 

a thermometer up her bum, I passed 

out. When I came round, he was 

hovering over me with a look of sheer 

panic. Humans were not his speciality. 

SARAH, 28, CAR SALES 

MANAGER, PETERBOROUGH 

SOAK IT UP I RECENTLY WENT SWIMMING WITH SOME FRIENDS. ONCE OUT AND DRESSED, 

I CLOCKED A REALLY ATTRACTIVE GUY IN THE DEEP END. WE LOCKED EYES AND HE 

SMILED, SO I STRUTTED PAST FEELING CONFIDENT – UNTIL I TRIPPED, THREW MY HANDS 

OUT TO SAVE MYSELF AND HIT THE PUSH BUTTON ON THE SHOWERS. I GOT DRENCHED. 

DIANA, 33, TEACHER, BIRMINGHAM 

PUMP IT UP 

I was having a sleepover 

with a guy I’d recently 

started seeing. In the 

middle of the night, 

I awoke to a loud noise… 

my own fart. The trump 

woke him up, too. Not 

quite the sexy first night 

together that I’d hoped for. 

ODA, 35, CHARTERED 

SURVEYOR, LONDON 

COSMOPOLITAN · 27

Odd man out 

Rejoice! Louis Theroux is back on screens, which gives us an excuse to celebrate 

our favourite unconventional crushes of all time 

THE GEEKS 

ROUND ONE 

THE OLDER MEN 

THE FUNNY NY ONES 

THE ODDBALLS 

VS VS VS 

VS 

LOUIS 

THEROUX 

USP*: Brains 

of Brian Cox, 

looks of 

Where’s Wally? 

RICHARD 

AYOADE 

USP: The only 

man to pull off 

a side-parted 

Afro. 

PAUL 

HOLLYWOOD 

USP: Great with 

his hands; eyes 

to rival a De 

Beers diamond. 

ROSS 

KEMP 

USP: Face like 

a potato; good 

in combat gear. 

SETH 

ROGEN 

USP: Owns the 

dad bod; Yogi 

Bear laugh. 

ROUND TWO 

JAMES 

CORDEN 

USP: Voice 

of an angel, 

physique of 

a cherub. 

ADAM 

DRIVER 

USP: Hot 

weirdo. Serialkiller 

stare, hair 

like Cherie Blair. 

MICHAEL 

CERA 

USP: Looks like 

the guy you 

shouldn’t but 

would at school. 

VS 

VS 

*UNIQUE SEX-APPEAL POINT. WORDS LOTTIE LUMSDEN. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES 

WINNING GEEK 

Can hold his own at a swingers’ 

party and has a first from Oxford. 

He’s obviously got this. 

LOUIS THEROUX 

Louis makes the 

final – we’re pretty 

sure he’d never 

ditch you for some 

dampfnudels. Love 

those soft buns. 

We’re talking about 

baking, obviously. 

There are few men who can turn social 

awkwardness into an art form, while 

simultaneously making it strangely arousing. 

Louis has somehow managed both, giving 

sex-symbol status to shy nerds everywhere. 

WINNING OLDER MAN 

Assertive with a rolling pin and 

manages to pull off ‘dad jeans’. 

ROUND THREE 

VS 

U LT I M AT E W 

WINNING FUNNY ONE 

There aren’t many men with the 

balls to take on Kim Jong-un. 

R 

I N N E R 

WINNING ODDBALL 

Did we mention that Adam 

used to be in the US Marines? 

Swings it for us. 

ADAM DRIVER 

Seth may make 

us chuckle, but no 

one can pull off 

a simulated sex 

scene with such 

aplomb (Girls) as 

Driver. He makes 

it to the final. 

Catch him this month in his new film, 

My Scientology Movie. An exposé on the 

controversial religion, it features more 

seat-squirming moments than a whole series 

of First Dates. Out 7th October 

COSMOPOLITAN · 29

BOOKS 

THE TRASHY 

BIOGRAPHY 

Titan titles 

October is the biggest month in the literary calendar, when publishers release the 

titles they predict will be on everyone’s Christmas lists. Here are the four you need 

THE HILARIOUS 

SPIN-OFF 

THE FEMINIST 

BUZZ BOOK 

THE LONG-AWAITED 

FOLLOW-UP 

STAY GOLDEN 

BY LUCKY BLUE SMITH 

IN A SENTENCE? 

Silver-haired Mormon model 

and Instagram superstar 

Lucky Blue, 18, humblebrags 

through his extensive 

life experiences, from 

being scouted aged 10 

to dealing with being 

ridiculously good-looking. 

OR A WORD? 

Zoolander-lit. 

BLAG IT AT 

BOOK CLUB: 

“It’s an allegory 

of fame in the 

social-media world.” 

EVERYONE WILL BE 

TALKING ABOUT: 

That time he googled 

Annie Leibovitz before 

a shoot to find out 

who she was. 

LIFE HOURS 

CONSUMED: 

Two, max. 

There’s a lot 

of p ctures. 

“Are you 

challenging (£ 16.99, 

me to a walk- Transworld, 

off, Lucky 

out 20th 

Blue Smith?” October) 

MY DAD WROTE 

A PORNO 

BY JAMIE MORTON, 

JAMES COOPER, 

ALICE LEVINE AND 

ROCKY FLINTSTONE 


Spin-off from the hit podcast 

where director Jamie Morton 

reads his dad’s excruciating 

erotic novel. 

OR A WORD? 

Dad-rotica. 

BLAG IT AT 

Pomegranates: 

more erotic 

than broccoli 

BOOK CLUB: 

“I liked the 

juxtaposition 

of office jargon 

and sexual 

innuendo.” 



What do 

‘breasts 

like pomegranates’ 

even 

look like? 

LIFE HOURS 

CONSUMED: 

Best read aloud to 

friends over a series 

of Saturday nights 

in the pub. 

(£12.99, Quercus, 

out 27th October) 

THE POWER 

BY NAOMI ALDERMAN 


The Hunger Games crossed 

with The Handmaid’s Tale, set 

in a world where women have 

the power to inflict pain and 

death on a man with a flick 

of their finger. 

OR A WORD? 

Feistyfemfic (totally 

a real word). 

BLAG IT AT 

BOOK CLUB: 

“Feminist science fiction 

is so hot right now.” 



The head-spinning concept 

of a world where it’s the 

men who are afraid to walk 

home ontheir own. 

LIFE HOURS 

CONSUMED: 

Countless, trying 

to work out 

what you’d 

do if you had 

‘the power’. 

The Hunger Games’ 

Katniss could have done 

with the finger flick 

(£16.99, 

Viking, 

out 27th 

October) 

TODAY WILL 

BE DIFFERENT 

BY MARIA SEMPLE 


A wife on the edge, Eleanor 

Flood, experiences her 

worst day ever at the hands 

of her seemingly conniving 

husband, in 

this witty 

follow-up from 

the author of 

Where’d 

You Go, 

Bernadette. 

OR A 

WORD? 

Psychbuster. 

BLAG IT AT 

BOOK CLUB: 

“Eleanor needs to 

check her privilege.” 

EVERYONE WILL 

BE TALKING ABOUT: 

How it’s hard to feel 

sorry for a woman who 

names her son Timby. 

LIFE HOURS CONSUMED: 

A rainy weekend indoors 

should do it. 

(£14.99, W&N, 

out 6th October) 

WORDS CLARE THORP. PHOTOGRAPHS REX FEATURES, GETTY IMAGES 

30

The Compass 

Pointing you in the right cultural direction this month... 

THEGIRLONTHETRAIN 

It’s set in upstate New York, 

stars Justin Theroux and Emily 

Blunt, and promises to scare 

the shit out of you. Get yourself 

to a cinema on 7th October. 

Taking the train: optional. 

SEXYMATHS 

A new free online sex 

calculator* works out the 

calories you’ve slayed 

in the sack. You know, 

so you can plan how to 

burn off that extra biscuit next time. 

Floatingourboat 

COCKROACHMILK 

There’s a new superfood in 

town. Good news: it’s full of 

protein, so great for hair and 

nails. Bad news: it’s made 

from milk protein crystals 

found in, yup… cockroaches. 

THENEWMUSTN’T-READ 

Misogynist and self-styled ‘King 

Of Instagram’ Dan Bilzerian 

(19 million followers) is releasing 

a book, Blitz. Expect repulsive 

playboy boasting and pictures 

of women in no clothes. Classy. 

BANDING 

Autumn’s jewellery icon 

is Captain Jack Sparrow (via 

Gucci), with rings “banded” 

across every finger. Just don’t 

gesticulate too wildly or you 

could knock someone out. 

THECHOUXNUT 

Forget cronuts, it’s all about the 

chouxnut. An éclair-doughnut hybrid 

stuffed with crème pâtissière, it 

is the signature bake of luxury 

London bakery Bijou Choux. 

Soggy bottoms be gone. 

BOTTLEDA-LISTHAIR 

L 

Want locks as luscious as 

Kerry Washington? Her hair 

stylist, Vernon François, has 

launched an eponymous 

collection of products for 

textured tresses. † Love. 

Sinkingourship 

POKÉMONGO(AWAY) 

Colleagues stopping you 

mid-sentence to catch a 

Pokémon was irritating, but 

Nintendo’s new Pokémon Go 

Plus wristband now allows you to play the game 

without your phone. Yes, we are judging you. 

TOEPLUGS 

GOTHICANKLESNAPPERS 

Impractical fashion at its worst 

– as seen on the Marc Jacobs 

catwalk. Best saved exclusively 

for Halloween, and only if 

it’s not raining. Walk away 

while you still can. 

Like buttplugs for your toes. These squishy 

yellow tampon-esque items from Posh Petals 

are meant for se ra ng your 

tootsies when painting 

your nails. We’ ’ll stick 

to toilet roll, thanks. 

WORDS LOTIE LUMSDEN. *DRFELIX.CO.UK/SEX-WORKOUT-CALCULATOR. †VISIT VERNONFRANCOIS.COM. 

PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY, ALLSTAR. PA PHOTOS, SHUTTERSTOCK, IMAXTREE, BIJOU CHOUX 

32 · COSMOPOLITAN

CELEBRITY 

THE 

SECRET 

Zoella 

How did a normal girl from Wiltshire who started a vlog in her childhood 

bedroom go on to become queen of the internet? Zoella fills us in 

Words LOTTIE LUMSDEN ★ Photographs BEN RIGGOTT 

34

CELEBRITY 

Yes, Britain’s most famous YouTube 

personality only had one request for 

our interview in Brighton today, and 

it was that we chat over a scoop in 

her local gelateria, Boho Gelato. 

There’s just one problem: Boho 

Gelato isn’t open yet. And Zoella is 

nowhere to be seen. 

Instead I find her tucked away in 

the tearoom next door, a teeny-tiny 

person sipping on a herbal tea and 

flanked by her manager, Maddie. 

When she sees me, she jumps to 

her feet and embraces me in a huge 

hug. “I’m so sorry the ice cream 

shop is closed,” she says, looking 

deeply concerned. 

Up close, she looks like any other 

young university student you might 

find evading lectures on Brighton’s 

seafront. She wears a long khaki jersey 

dress, black leather jacket and Converse 

trainers, the only sign of extravagance 

a £5,050 Cartier ‘Love’ bangle that 

jangles on her right wrist. Because 

e about it, Zoella’s no 

something student. 

most powerful 

f her generation – 

ar whose combined 

ather more eyeballs 

nton’s, an author 

, Girl Online, sold 

week than EL James’ 

rey and JK Rowling’s 

The Philosopher’s 

in theirs. But mostly 

a vlogger who has the 

pretty much any girl 

oys] between the 

7 worldwide. 

nd time I have met 

la, whose real name 

Sugg. And what has 

th occasions is how 

e is. Staggeringly 

eautiful? Yes. But no 

e prettiest girl in your 

she charming? Polite 

with the sort of 

and 

ners 

irl. She 

has that rare ability to 

be both loved by young 

women and vigorously 

approved of by their 

parents. Which, of course, 

is all part of the appeal. 

If you’re uninitiated 

in the world of Zoella, 

let me fill you in. 

Seven years ago, after completing 

her A-levels, Zoe Sugg, a “shy and 

quiet” teenager from Wiltshire, 

started a beauty and fashion blog 

called Zoella (a nickname from 

school) as a hobby. 

Ironically, she had only discovered 

months before what a blog actually 

was. “I loved watching YouTube 

make-up tutorials and I’d hear 

people talk about blogs and I was 

like ‘What’s that?’” she says. “I wasn’t 

brave enough to make videos then, 

and I thought, ‘I’m creative, I love 

photos and writing, so I could 

probably write a blog.’ Of course 

“I thought, ‘I love 

photos and 

writing, I could 

write a blog’” 

I didn’t think anyone would read it.” 

She was working as an apprentice at 

an interior-design company at the 

time, but when she was made 

redundant and found herself folding 

T-shirts at New Look, she began to 

vlog. It was 2009. Three years earlier, 

Google had bought YouTube, which 

at that point was little more than an 

online version of You’ve Been Framed: 

a continuous loop of silly dog videos 

and cats on skateboards. By 2009, 

things were beginning to change, 

with YouTube positioning itself 

as more of an online TV service. 

And in order to do that, it needed 

social stars with universal appeal. 

Zoe’s first real success was a 

remarkably amateur video called 

60 Things In My Bedroom. In it, she 

sits in her childhood room, holding 

random items up to the camera – 

a cupcake candle, an umbrella, a 

framed photograph of her and her 

dad. There are no words, just lots 

of cute pouting and 

shoulder shrugging 

– oh, and a random 

boy sitting in the 

background (her friend 

Luis) tapping away on 

his laptop. It has had 

two million views 

to date. More videos 

followed – first, beauty 

and fashion hauls 

(where she showed 

viewers what make-up products 

and clothes she had bought), then 

product reviews, and much later 

came make-up tutorials. 

Within months she had 1,000 

subscribers to her channel. By 2013, 

that number was one million. In 

February this year, she had hit the 

10 million mark, making hers the 

fourth British channel to reach that 

milestone after One Direction, KSI and 

Adele. It’s now gone up to 11 million. 

Zoella has that rare thing that every 

marketeer across the land wants: 

the ability to speak to (and be heard 

by) young women. What she says 

COSMOPOLITAN · 37

CELEBRITY 

OPENING SPREAD, LEFT: DRESS, £625, COACH. HEADBAND, £150, PIERS ATKINSON. RINGS (TOP) £29; (BOTTOM) £39, BOTH ASTRID & MIYU. RIGHT: DRESS AND HEADBAND, 

BOTH AS BEFORE. ‘HEART’ GLASSES, STYLIST’S OWN. PREVIOUS SPREAD: SHIRT (SOLD AS SET), £350, OLIVIA VON HALLE. ‘LOOK’ GLASSES, £225, GENERAL EYEWEAR. 

‘TELEPHONE’ GLASSES, £210, YAZBUKEY X LINDA FARROW. BRACELET, ZOE’S OWN. THIS PAGE: TOP, AROUND £872, BARBARA BUI 

goes. And what she recommends sells. 

Tutti Fruity, a beauty collection she 

launched with Superdrug in 2015, 

broke company records, with much 

of the range selling out on the first 

day. Her first book, Girl Online, sold 

almost 80,000 copies in its first week, 

making her the fastest-selling debut 

novelist since records began. An 

Instagram post can garner hundreds 

of thousands of likes (one of her 

holding an ice cream yesterday got 

575,000 alone) and last year it was 

reported that she earned £50,000 a 

month from her vlog, endorsements 

and beauty lines. 

Her family has also reaped the 

awards. Younger brother Joe, 25, 

now has a hugely successful vlog, 

ThatcherJoe, boasting seven million 

subscribers. Meanwhile, her mum 

Tracey, a beautician, dad Graham, 

a talent producer, and even her 

grandfather have amassed thousands 

of followers on social media for simply 

being related to her. Zoe even has her 

own Madame Tussauds waxwork. 

“It’s crazy,” she says, taking a sip of 

tea. “It all started as a hobby using my 

dad’s old digital camera propped up 

on DVDs with a mirror behind it so 

I could see if it was still filming.” She 

laughs. “It was good timing. I did 

work really hard for this, but I do 

feel like it was a crucial time when 

everything kind of exploded with 

vloggers. Brands got 

interested, bloggers 

started getting invited 

to events… I do think 

anyone could do it. 

“Back then nobody 

[was making money],” 

she continues. “My dad 

kept saying I had to look 

for a proper job. He was 

like, ‘Get off your laptop, 

you need to go out.’ He 

didn’t get it. It was only three years 

into YouTube [that I started making 

money] and then it was only $60 

[around £45] every now and then. 

The cheque would arrive on the 

“It was good 

timing… I do 

think anyone 

could do it” 

doorstep and I’d be like, ‘I told you, 

Dad!’ When I hit one million 

subscribers [in 2013] it was the first 

time I thought it could be a career.” 

(To celebrate her first big pay cheque, 

she treated herself to a studded 

Alexander Wang 

handbag. “I had the 

fake version before.”) 

These days it’s a 

different story, and 

Zoe can get offered vast 

amounts of money to 

work with brands like 

ASOS and WHSmith, 

who she runs a book 

club with. As a result, 

she now has a beauty 

and bath range; a third book, due 

to be released in November, Girl 

Online: Going Solo, after her initial 

two-book deal was a sellout; and is 

in the middle of launching a lifestyle 

range, as well as a line of merchandise 

with her brother. 

“Her success is because of her very 

natural ability to connect with her 

audience,” says Francesca Dow, 

managing director for the children’s 

department of Zoe’s publisher, 

Penguin Random House. “She does 

so through her warmth and honesty 

and her instinct for understanding 

their concerns.” 

Zoe says she is strict about who 

she collaborates with. “There’s not 

really any amount you can put on 

something, because if I didn’t agree 

with it, I just wouldn’t do it,” she says. 

“95% of stuff is turned down.” 

Are we talking six-figure sums? 

She looks at her manager, politely 

smiles, and says, “Some figures!” 

OK, but does she consider herself 

rich? “Erm, in happiness!” she says, 

laughing. “I don’t know what 

COSMOPOLITAN · 39

CELEBRITY 

SHIRT, AS BEFORE. GLASSES, £225, GENERAL EYEWEAR. SUPER 8 CAMERA, LOUIS WILSON-GOLDBERG 

constitutes rich. 

Obviously I earn more 

money now than I did 

four years ago, and more 

than I ever thought 

YouTube would be able 

to [provide]. But I’m not 

driving a Lamborghini…” 

(Zoella’s net worth is 

reported to be around 

£3 million). 

It’s not just big-money 

deals by brands that Zoe 

gets offered. In the past 

year, she’s been asked 

to record a single 

(declined), appear on 

reality TV (declined) 

and even been invited 

to have tea with Prince 

Harry at Buckingham 

Palace (also declined). 

Her reasons for 

turning down Prince 

Harry, as well as lunch 

last year with President 

Obama, are rather more 

complicated, though. 

Zoe has suffered from 

crippling anxiety since 

her teens, which has at 

times left her bedbound. 

She first revealed this in 

a 20-minute YouTube 

video in November 

2012, called Dealing 

With Panic Attacks & 

Anxiety. It has since had 

nearly four million views. 

“It took me so long to film,” she 

says. “It was refreshing for a lot of 

people because they think I’m this 

perfect role model and I live this 

perfect life in a dream world, but 

actually everyone has their demons 

and things that they are struggling 

with. It was an eye-opener and 

made them realise that maybe 

I’m just like them.” 

So what about Prince Harry? “I was 

too scared,” says Zoe, who is now 

digital ambassador for the mentalhealth 

charity Mind. “I’m working on 

this anxiety thing but I’m not quite 

ready for that. Hopefully he will 

invite me back. Sorry Prince Harry.” 

Zoe sees a therapist, but still 

struggles with travelling and big 

crowds. “I have had anxiety since 

before I started doing this,” she 

explains. “I think it changes and 

adapts with your life. I have a 

therapist who I speak to every week 

without fail, and that’s been the 

biggest help because I’m now doing 

things that I never thought I’d be 

able to do. I’m one of those people 

who think everyone should have 

a therapist. People go to 

the gym, they eat healthily 

and visit the hairdresser’s, 

but no one really looks 

after their mind.” 

Zoe rarely visits London 

because of her anxiety, and 

instead films her vlog 

from her bedroom in 

Hove. “My dream is to be 

able to just hop on the 

train one day and come 

back again, and I know 

I’ll get to that point, but 

up until then I have to 

take lots of little baby 

steps. One of my big 

things is to visit Australia 

and New Zealand. That’s 

my main goal.” 

She recalls attending the 

Radio 1 Teen Awards in 

2014. “We walked out to 

our taxi and there were 

fans everywhere. I got 

pressed up against a car 

and I really hurt my back. 

It was quite intense… 

Things like that become 

something else to work 

on. And just simple things 

like going to the shop 

knowing you’re being 

followed or thinking 

someone might approach 

you.” She adds, “There 

was a point where I was 

nervous to go out on my 

own. It’s not like you’ve gone into a 

Hollywood film where your biggest 

dream is coming true. It’s something 

that happened because of a hobby, 

and along the way you have to get 

used to this new lifestyle you have. 

There have been times when 

someone has just gone ‘Hi’ in my 

face.” She flinches at the thought of 

it. “And I have sworn [in shock], 

and then had to apologise…” 

Zoe references another difficult 

time in 2014 when it became a huge 

news story that a ghostwriter had 

helped write her debut novel. She 

COSMOPOLITAN · 41

CELEBRITY 

received a barrage of online abuse 

and considered giving up. 

“It was horrible,” she says. “I worked 

really hard on the book and it was all 

me – the characters, the story. I felt as 

if I was being attacked and I was like, 

‘I’m going to shut my laptop, I can’t 

be bothered with all this.’ It knocked 

my confidence massively. When it 

came round to the second book, I felt 

I couldn’t and that it had all been 

ruined. It took a lot for me to put 

that behind me and move forward.” 

Having a boyfriend who works in 

the same industry has definitely 

helped. Three years ago, she started 

dating vlogger Alfie Deyes of 

PointlessBlog (five million 

subscribers), and they recently 

bought a £1 million home together 

in Hove. On several occasions 

I suggested I interview her there so 

I could meet Deyes and see where 

she works, but she declined. (She 

recently admitted in a video, Periods 

& One Direction, that she no longer 

invites journalists into her home, 

after one asked to look through her 

wardrobe and demanded to know 

when she lost her virginity.) 

When she talks about Alfie, 22, she 

beams. “He’s the first person to say, ‘I’m 

so proud of you.’ If I’m ever like, ‘I can’t 

do this,’ he’s like, ‘I can help you.’” 

Like any self-respecting power 

couple, they are known to fans by 

a combined moniker, ‘Zalfie’, and 

regularly film videos together, as well 

as with close friends and fellow 

vloggers Tanya Burr, Jim Chapman 

and Louise Pentland. 

Zoe admits that she and Alfie 

have both experienced 

negativity along the way 

from rivals. “There are 

a lot of people that get 

quite catty,” she says. 

“There are always people 

that try and tear you 

down and don’t like that 

you’ve become successful. 

That’s just human nature, 

but I’ve grown a thick 

“You get 

bitchy tweets... 

I just smile 

and carry on” 

skin. It’s a number of things, like 

bitchy tweets, people writing blog 

posts about it, comments… I’m 

not a confrontational person. It really 

goes against my nature. I just smile 

and carry on.” 

Our time is nearly up, which can 

mean only one thing: ice cream. We 

head next door. Zoe orders a one-litre 

tub to take home with 

her, as well as a small 

carton to eat on the 

way. As we’re preparing 

to leave, a teenage boy 

who has been standing 

in the corner of the 

shop with his father 

approaches timidly. 

“Would you mind if 

I got a photo?” he asks. 

Zoe beams. “Of course!” He is quickly 

followed by a teenage girl and her 

mother. The girl is wide-eyed and mute 

with excitement. The mother gabbles, 

“We knew you sometimes come here 

and we hoped we might bump into 

you and here you are! She loves you 

– you’re on in my house every day.” 

She poses for another photograph. 

We make a move outside before 

anyone else can approach her and 

say our goodbyes. It feels like I’m 

leaving an old friend behind. But it’s 

OK because I know I’ll see her again 

very soon. If I miss her, I can just 

tune in to YouTube. Along with her 

11 million other fans. And there lies 

the beauty of Zoella. ◆ 

Girl Online: Going Solo is out on 

17th November 

SHIRT AND RINGS, BOTH AS BEFORE. FASHION DIRECTOR AMY BANNERMAN. HAIR DAYARUCI AT ONE REPRESENTS, USING REDKEN. 

MAKE UP CASSIE LOMAS AT CREATIVES AGENCY, USING NARS. FASHION ASSISTANT MADDY ALFORD 

42 · COSMOPOLITAN

I T ’ S W H A T ’ S O N T H E OUTSIDE T H A T C O U N T S 

HELLO DAHLEK! 

We went a bit slack-jawed when these Coach heeled 

loafers came strutting down the catwalk. Only because 

they tick two of the season’s biggest trends – androgyny 

and embellishment – plus they cross-pollinate two of our 

favourite muses: the Dickensian dandy and the Daleks. 

How to get away with a showstopper on your feet? 

Go classic – think LBD or black jeans. Bad winter shoe 

days: exterminated. Shoes, £375, Coach 

WORDS AMY BANNERMAN. PHOTOGRAPH SUN LEE 

COSMOPOLITAN · 47

Bored of the same 

old black and 

grey? Freshen it 

up with a splash 

of this season’s 

hottest hues 

rue 

COLOURS 

Styling 

SAIREY STEMP 

Photographs 

DANIEL NADEL 

Sweater, £38, Oasis. 

Trousers, £150, Topshop. 

Earrings, £210, Mawi. 

Bag, £179, Radley

Jumpsuit, 

£58, Lavish 

Alice 

Coat, 

£199, 

Boden 

SHOP 

ME NOW 

Shoes, 

£139.95, A 

Andreassen 

Pouch, 

£180, Loeffler 

Randall 

Bag, 

£229, 

Maje 

Boot, £380, 

Dorateymur 

Top, £32, 

Asos.com 

In the red 

Hat, 

£12, 

Oasis 

Counterintuitive, we know, but 

try accessorising your reds with a few 

baby-pink pieces. No, really 

Skirt, £79, 

Hallhuber.com 

Shoes, £29.99, 

Public Desire 

Pssst… Red-on-red is the way to go this autumn, 

so stick on a touch of MAC’s Ruby Woo lipstick, 

which goes with just about everything. It’s matte 

too – so less likely to end up all over your teeth. 

Bralet, £20; knickers, 

£12, both Freya 

Bag, 

£455, 

Tory 

Burch 

Dress, £129, Coast 

Dress, 

£180, 

Karen 

Millen 

Watch, 

£100, Ice 

Watch 

Shoes, £49.50, 

Marks & Spencer 

COSMOPOLITAN · 49

Coat, £179, 

Boden 

Trousers, £25, 

Tu at Sainsbury’s 

Hat, £59, 

Hicks & Brown 

Bag, £390, 

Loeffler 

Randall 

Dress, 

£65, 

Lavish 

Alice 

Boots, £70, Aldo 

Skirt, £49.90, United 

Colors Of Benetton 

Coat, £70, 

Fashion 

Union 

Shoes, 

£50, 

Aldo 


Classic camel 

It’s not only Del Boy and – you know – 

actual camels that can pull off this 

colourway. Try this lot on for size… 

Watch, £80, 

Olivia Burton 

Pssst… The key to nailing this trend? Subtlety. 

To avoid looking like a human sandcastle, 

accent outfits with one camel piece at a time. 

Remember, crisp cotton, denim and camel 

go together like hummus and pitta. 

Jumper, £49.90, United 

Colors Of Benetton 

Jacket, £169, 

Hallhuber.com 

Blazer, 

£272, 

Airfield 

Jumper, £109, 

Pure Collection 

Bag, £214, The Bridge 

Glasses, 

£70, 

Guess 

Boots, £75, 

River Island

Coat, £149.99; shirt, 

£39.99, both H&M Studio. 

Jeans, £248, Frame 

Denim at Joseph. 

Earrings, £225, H Samuel. 

Trainers, £74.99, 

Adidas at Office

Jacket, £298; earrings, 

£58, both J Crew. 

Jumper, £46, Topshop. 

Trousers, £730, Tata Naka

Scarf, £38, 

Cath Kidston 

Sunglasses, 

£165, Kirk 

Originals 

Dress, 

£28, River 

Island 

Bag, £230, 

Orla Kiely 

Dress, 

£48, 

Rare 

Shoes, £255, 

Minna Parikka 

Shirt, £175, 

Sandro 

Jumper, 

£26.50, 

Boden 

Pink fancy 

Jumper, 

£185, Cocoa 

Cashmere 

Clutch, 

£290, Marc 

by Marc 

Jacobs 

Mr Kipling doesn’t just make cakes – he also 

gives exceedingly good fashion inspiration. 

Unlike camel, these flattering fondant shades 

can work together – it’s all in the layering 

Pssst… To avoid the saccharine effect of a pink 

overload (Mr Blobby dropped from favour for a 

reason), invest in relaxed pieces. Paper-bag-waisted 

trousers and a soft sweater (tick), as opposed to 

a brassy hot-pink bandeau dress (cross). 

Frames, £25, 

See Concept 

Watch, 

£150, Henry 

London 

Bomber, 

£20, Miss 

Pap 

Trousers, 

£69.50, Boden 

Dress, £375, 

Paper London at 

Net-a-porter.com 

Skirt, 

£298, 

J Crew 

Shoes, £250, 

LK Bennett 

Earrings, 

£75, Pandora 

COSMOPOLITAN · 53

Boots, 

£170, 

Dune 

Bodysuit, £20, Miss Pap 

Coat, £479, 

Baukjen 

Bag, £12, 

Tu at 

Sainsbury’s 

Top, £24, 

Fashion Union 

Sunglasses, 

£130, 

Hook LDN 

True blue 

Skirt, 

£113, 

N12H 

Trousers, 

£345, Sea 

Black? Pah! Old news. Navy is stealing its 

thunder as the chicest shade. Pay attention 

to shape and accessories to avoid looking 

like you just stepped off a submarine 

Heels, £39, Miss 

Selfridge 

Pssst… We love a Breton as much as the next girl, 

but there’s more to navy than nautical tees. 

Seamlessly blend together your navy ensemble 

with different textures. For instance, a velvet jacket, 

cotton shirt and wool trousers. Don’t forget you 

can mix navy with black if you so desire. 

Jumper, 

£325, Sea 

Shoes, £245, 

Karl Lagerfeld 

Jacket, £285, 

Hicks & Brown 

Trousers, 

£40, Monki 

Coat, 

£249, 

Hobbs 

Shoes, 

£179, 

Ash 

Bracelet, 

£74, Swarovski 

Dress, 

£145, 

Karen 

Millen 

Clutch, £149, Radley 

54 · COSMOPOLITAN

Dress, £35.99, Mango. 

Sunglasses, £224, 

Miu Miu at Sunglass 

Hut. Earrings, £7.50, 

Freedom at Topshop ◆ 

Hair Ranelle Chapman, 

using Aveda. Make-up 

Megumi Matsuno at 

Carol Hayes Management, 

using Suqqu. Model 

Marli Libucha at Premier 

Model Management. 

Fashion assistant 

Maddy Alford 

COSMOPOLITAN · 55

Leandra 

Medine 

Alessandra 

Ambrosio 

This month, Amy Bannerman road-tests 

the latest shape: the, er, ‘C.R.I.D.E.’ 

Sunglasses, 

£202, Miu Miu 

at Sunglassesshop.co.uk 

Kate 

Bosworth 

Ohflares, we’re so over you. Boyfriend jeans, you 

make us feel six months pregnant (and that’s 

before we’ve had breakfast). As for culottes, 

you’re just a bit too ‘sailor fancy dress’. But… 

I’m delighted to announce the birth of a new, 

flattering jean shape that makes you look neither 

impregnated nor ready to charter a yacht. Its name: the 

C.R.I.D.E. (not sure this will catch on), a cropped, wide-leg 

jean perfect for showing off this season’s fitted midi boot. 

OK, so the length of this jean is key. It’s too complicated 

to get into exact measurements right now, so just know 

that they should expose the slimmest part of your leg – 

that’s where your calf starts to taper to your ankle. 

Like the flare, a C.R.I.D.E. (still not sticking..?) should 

sit higher on the waist, so wear with your top tucked in to 

balance it out and, crucially, to elongate your silhouette. 

Good choices include slightly retro pieces like pussy-bow 

blouses, slimline rollnecks and vintage raglan tees. 

So… disclaimer: these aren’t great if you’re hippy or have 

a wine belly (Hi, my name’s Amy Bannerman) because 

the higher waist can emphasise, rather than draw eyes away, 

so you need to add some control pants into the mix. The 

good news is those with short legs can get away with this 

shape, provided a substantially heeled boot is on duty. 

One last word before I go… Don’t overcomplicate – 

a fitted boot with a heel and a ’70s-style strut is all you 

need. Watch The Get Down for inspo and contemplate: 

to C.R.I.D.E. or not to C.R.I.D.E. – that is the question. 

MYFAVES 

Amy wears: Jeans, 

about £245, Re/Done. 

Above: £69, Guess at 

House Of Fraser. 

Above right: £19.99, 

H&M 

Scarf, £85, Rockins 

at Matchesfashion.com 

Boots, £79, Topshop 

Coat, £995, 

LK Bennett 

PHOTOGRAPHS STEPHANIE SIAN SMITH, GETTY IMAGES, INFPHOTO.COM, SPLASH NEWS, XPOSUREPHOTOS.COM. AMY WEARS: JUMPER, 

£295, ESK. SHOES, £625, MULBERRY. GLASSES, £225, CHLOÉ AT GENERAL EYEWEAR. RINGS, HER OWN 

56 · COSMOPOLITAN

HEY, 

HOW DO 

I WEAR… 

Pyjamas in 

the daytime? 

Rock nightwear to work, 

without looking like 

you just overslept 

1 CHOOSE 

YOUR FABRIC 

Head-to-toe pyjama sets for day 

should be silk or satin so the 

material ‘flows’ around your 

body. Check out the label and 

avoid anything with the words 

elastane, spandex or Lycra – 

these stretch fabrics will cling 

to your body instead of 

skimming it. Leave stretch 

onesies for the Teletubbies and 

stun with a fluid silhouette in 

a silky ensemble instead. 

2 PAVEMENT 

SKIMMER 

The difference between chic 

and hot mess in PJ-inspired 

looks? Trouser length. Wear 

yours with an elegant high 

heel to lengthen the leg, and 

ensure your trousers just 

skim the floor. If more than 

an inch of the toe is visible, 

then your trousers are too 

short – no bueno. 

3 CONTRASTING 

COLOURS 

The red collar on blogger Hanneli 

Mustaparta’s top frames her face 

and décolletage, giving the outfit a 

focal point. If you’re rocking a full PJ 

set in a solid colour, some contrast 

is a must to stop it looking like 

you’ve gone out dressed in your 

bedsheets. We’re partial to the 

bowling-shirt style for a glam retro 

feel – leave the top few buttons 

undone to show just enough skin. 

4 CREATE A 

SILHOUETTE 

It’s the only way to avoid 

getting swamped in too much 

volume. Look for trouser-like 

details such as a button fly, 

stiff vertical creasing and 

slit pockets on the hips. 

These all create an elegant 

framework for a fluid top to 

slip inside. This attention 

to silhouette, along with 

carefully chosen accessories 

(see 5, below), are the key 

differences between nightand 

day-appropriate PJs. 

5 ALL IN 

THE BAG 

A prim top-handle or 

lady bag communicates 

to passers-by that you 

meant to leave the house 

like this. Something small 

and structured balances 

out the fluidity of the silk. 

Keep the rest simple – 

neatly parted hair and 

a single ring are all you 

need. Repeat after us: 

no bed-head allowed. 

Turn the page for 

more ways to pimp 

your pyjamas 

COSMOPOLITAN · 59

BLAZER 

Behold the perfect transitional 

piece: a silky pyjama-style top. 

Wear it now as a shirt, and layer 

it up later as a jacket or cardigan. 

We like how Clémence’s slim 

jeans are cut off just above her 

ankle boots – ideal for the 

weekend. Eye mask optional. 

Blazer, £119, Autograph at M&S. 

Top, £447, FRS For Restless 

Sleepers. Top (underneath), 

£22.73, Victoria’s Secret. Jeans, 

£224, AG. Boots, £185, Dune. 

Clutch, £25, Accessorize 

Clémence 

Poésy 

Kate Moss 

Cara Delevingne 

FULL SET 

We promise, head-to-toe prints 

are doable, even if you’re not 

Kate Moss. Just ensure there’s 

definition at the waist. A bit of 

skin is essential to avoid looking 

like that kid from The Snowman, 

so roll the sleeves and undo 

the top button. Bonus: you 

can actually fall asleep in them. 

Pyjama top; bottoms, £198 

each, J Crew. Rollneck, 

£29.90, Uniqlo. Blazer, £69.99, 

Mango. Shoes, £65, Aldo 

PSST… 

TROUSERS NOT YOUR 

THING? TICK OFF THE 

NIGHTWEAR TREND 

WITH A SILK SLIP 

DRESS 

ACTUAL 

PJ BOTTOMS 

So you’re in bed on a Saturday, 

craving a bacon sarnie from the 

local caff, but unable to process 

getting dressed. Take after Cara and 

whack on boots and a bomber, and 

go! If you’re alert enough, add a 

jacket that hits at the waist. The final 

touch? Sunglasses and a messy bun 

to grab that sandwich incognito. 

Jacket, £69.99, Mango. Top, £40, 

Victoria’s Secret. Pyjama bottoms, 

£22.50, Cyberjammies. Sunglasses, 

£88, Adidas at Sunglasses Shop. 

Socks, £9, Happy Socks. Boots, 

River Island, £50 ◆ 

WORDS MADDY ALFORD. PHOTOGRAPHS MADDY ALFORD/STUDIO 33, GETTY IMAGES, REX FEATURES, INFPHOTO.COM 

60 · COSMOPOLITAN

The great 

A killer new coat instantly makes the new season feel yours to own. From belted beauties to 

THE 

TRENCH 

Practical and 

stylish, a rare 

gift in fashion 

– the mac 

is having 

a moment 

CELINE A/W 16 

£265, Gerry Weber 

£59.99, Brandattic.com 

£399, Boden 

TIP! 

The new way to wear the 

trench is oversized and 

belted, so it looks blousy 

over your favouite hoodie 

(A/W 16’s coolest 

layering piece, 

BTW). 

£179, Mint Velvet 

£170, Libertine 

£79.99, 

Mango 

£149, La Redoute £275, Karen Millen 

£499, Gestuz 

62 · COSMOPOLITAN

cover-up 

THE 

EDIT 

furry favourites, these are the best of the best, says SENIOR FASHION EDITOR SAIREY STEMP 

THE 

FAUX FUR 

Let’s be clear: 

this is the 

only type 

of faking it 

that gets our 

blessing, ladies 

£329, Marc Cain 

£89.99, Mango 

£80, Very.co.uk 

£100, River Island 

TIP! 

Chewbacca: better as 

a sidekick than a style 

icon. Tone down the 

fuzz and toughen up 

your look with ripped 

jeans or PVC 

trousers. 

£75, Next 

£275, 

Whistles 

£54.99, New Look 

CHLOE A/W W16 

£295, Essentiel Antwerp 

£39.99, New Look 

COSMOPOLITAN · 63

THE 

MAXI 

Floor-length; 

slim; ideal for 

sweeping in 

and out of 

rooms with 

maximum 

drama 

£50, Peacocks 

£130, Libertine 


£450, 

Sandro 

£349, 

Gestuz 

£40, Peacocks 

£550, Whistles Limited 

Edition Collection 

TIP! 

Wear your floor-skimmer 

with trainers – Adidas 

Sambas are our favourite. 

A ladylike coat with 

laid-back kicks is the 

height of noteven-trying 

cool. 

£149.99, Mango 


£249, 

Mint 

Velvet 

£425, 

Agnès B 

MAXMARA A/W 16 

64 · COSMOPOLITAN

THE 

MILITARY 

Attention! 

This style 

smartens up 

any outfit – 

even your gym 

kit will get 

a kick-start 

£75, Wallis 

£565, 

Vivetta 

£410, J Lindeberg 

TIP! 

Customise a classic 

tailored coat by changing 

the buttons or adding 

brass fasteners and 

gold braiding 

from your local 

sewing shop. 

TOMMY HILFIGER A/W 16 

£275, Marciano by Guess 

£100, Oasis 

£139.99, Mango 

£199, 

Mint 

Velvet 

£69, Debenhams 

PHOTOGRAPHS JASON LLOYD-EVANS 



£50, Peacocks ◆

Y O U R N O – B S G U I D E T O A L L T H I N G S B E A U T Y 

SELFIE PRESERVATION 

Next time you find yourself lip-pursing 

in front of your camera phone, consider 

this: it could be damaging your skin. 

According to new research, high-energy 

visible light (HEV) – the blue light from 

your mobile’s screen – can make your 

skin duller than a night out with Alan 

Titchmarsh. “The mobile’s magnetic field 

alters the minerals in your skin, which 

in turn affects your DNA,” explains 

dermatologist Dr Zein Obagi. The worst 

bit? Considering we spend the equivalent 

of 20 weeks a year in front of a screen, 

that’s a whole lot of ageing. But before 

you ditch your phone and go and live 

in a cave, potent antioxidants such as 

malachite, found in De Mamiel’s Intense 

Nurture Antioxidant Elixir, £80, can aid 

recovery, while Dr Sebagh’s Supreme Day 

Cream, £145, uses fractionated melanin, 

shielding skin against HEV light. Prepare 

for skin that’s smoother than before you 

ever clicked on your selfie schtick. 

WORDS FIONA EMBLETON. ILLUSTRATION PETER CROWTHER 

69

Do you 

have 

PORN 

FACE? 

A strange Instagram army of tumescent-lipped, Lego-browed, 

contoured clones seem to be gathering all the ‘likes’. How did we get here 

– and is there any going back, asks Ingeborg van Lotringen 

COSMOPOLITAN · 71

When top 

make-up artist 

and YouTube 

star Lisa 

Eldridge 

declared that 

social media was the best thing that 

ever happened to make-up, the guffaw 

from her peers could be heard in 

outer space. Eldridge (whose tutorials 

have turned her into an online 

phenomenon) argues that the likes of 

Instagram, Snapchat and YouTube have 

inspired millions of us to experiment 

with looks from cultures across the 

globe. Most of the make-up artists 

I speak to in the business, however, 

are not so charitable. “Don’t get me 

started,” says Kay Montano, a make-up 

artist of 30 years who works with 

everyone from Nicole Kidman to 

Jennifer Lawrence. “I despair about the 

influence of social media because, as 

a source of beauty reference, it’s so 

generic.” Terry Barber, MAC director 

of make-up artistry, echoes that. “You’d 

think social media would’ve opened 

our eyes to the widest variety of beauty 

ideas imaginable, yet what we’ve ended 

up with is an all-pervasive, formulaic 

ideal of faked perfection.” You will no 

doubt be familiar with this “formulaic 

ideal”. You’ll have seen it on myriad 

reality-TV stars and celebrities (Chloe 

Khan and rapper Lil’ Kim) and in 

nightclubs and high streets across the 

country. But mostly you’ll have clocked 

it pouting back at you from social 

media: women with Disneyfied lashes, 

snub contoured noses, lips the size of 

scatter cushions and ebony eyebrows 

at strict 90° angles. This is a new, 

cartoonish idea of femininity, one 

that looks striking when filtered and 

Facetuned and staring back at you 

from behind a camera lens. But in 

the flesh: scary. 

Barbie girl 

Terry Barber describes it as “a boorish 

heterosexual male fantasy of what 

a hot woman looks like”. I say it’s a 

look near to the aesthetic found on 

sex dolls: inflatable cheeks, 

formaldehyde-smooth skin and 

exaggerated features, all down to 

industrial amounts of contouring 

and/or syringe-dosed ‘enhancement’. 

“Of course, that archetypal ‘pin-up’ 

look has always been popular – from 

the original Vargas Girls through 

to Brigitte Bardot and 

Pamela Anderson,” says 

Barber. “But we used to 

understand they were 

caricatures – perfectly 

drawn or cinematically lit 

fantasy girls who couldn't 

really be emulated and 

were not to be taken that 

seriously. The problem is 

that now the caricature 

has become the norm.” 

When I was growing up as a teenager 

in Holland, my idols were pop stars 

and the ’90s supermodels. I could 

appreciate that Claudia Schiffer was an 

anomaly of genetic perfection. I did 

not suppose I could ever look like 

her. Red-carpet glamour was for 

inaccessible celebrities; cosmetic 

“The problem is 

the caricature 

has become 

the norm” 

procedures for the rich 

and old. Yes, I could 

emulate Schiffer’s big, 

bouncy waves, but that 

was about it. Instead, 

I learned to use make-up 

to flatter my strong 

points and soften 

the edges of my 

less-lovely ones. 

So what’s changed, 

30 years on? Only 

everything. A 24/7 

stream of Facetuned 

images warps our 

self-esteem and grip 

on reality, conveniently 

feeding a beauty 

industry that has 

made ‘transformation’ 

accessible from a young 

age, with anything 

from contour kits to 

exhaustive tutorials to 

(God help us) cut-price 

lip fillers. In a world where social 

media rules social lives, racking up 

the ‘likes’ equates to popularity and 

confidence, even to money and fame 

for the lucky few. And exaggeratedly 

feminine features (think Angelina 

Jolie, one rare woman who was born 

with all of them, or every porno-face 

on your Insta feed who 

wasn’t) are what looks 

best on camera. (Even 

Good Morning Britain 

presenter Piers Morgan 

recently talked about 

this. “I won’t name 

names,” he has said, “but 

I see people coming 

through here, and my 

God, you just want to 

gasp in horror. They do it 

because on camera they look good, but 

in reality they look ridiculous. I want 

to shake them and say, ‘For goodness’ 

sake, what have you done?’”) 

But why are we more likely to press 

‘like’ on a fuller, pouty face than 

a natural-looking one, with all its 

associated imperfections? It’s our 

COSMOPOLITAN · 73

iology, stupid. Countless peerreviewed 

studies show that, on a very 

primal level, even babies are most 

attracted to fuller-lipped, wide-eyed, 

symmetrical faces. “It’s the look that 

gets the likes,” says Montano. “And so 

scores of young women will jump 

through hoops to get it. For women 

of my generation, it’s hard to swallow. 

We fought hard not to be defined 

by our looks and sexuality, so this 

feels like going back to the dark ages.” 

I hear her. It’s as if we unshackled 

ourselves from the kitchen stove, 

only to handcuff ourselves to the 

dressing table. But are things really 

as bleak as all that? 

Go compare 

“Give women some credit: doing 

make-up is a hobby for lots of them,” 

says psychologist and media 

commentator Honey Langcaster-James. 

“So to an extent, yes, this is a case of 

young women just having fun. The 

snag is, if remodelling your face, 

whether it’s with surgery, fillers or 

industrial amounts of make-up, 

becomes a way of life, the implicit 

message is that you’re not good 

enough as you are. And that’s when a 

discrepancy develops between the real 

and the transformed self. These days 

I see that a lot in my practice.” 

Plus, of course, it’s far from just 

ourselves we’re competing with. 

Online comparison culture, or the act 

of browsing other people’s lives and, 

more often than not, finding yourself 

lacking, has been shown in numerous 

studies to lead to social anxiety, 

emotional distress and body-image 

problems. “It’s an epidemic that’s 

warping our collective identity as 

women,” says Langcaster-James. 

“Comparing yourself to others is 

a natural way to understand identity. 

But now we’re trying to emulate, on 

a mass scale, the kind of women whose 

lives and looks have nothing to do 

with ours, let alone that these lives 

and looks aren’t actually real.” I thank 

my lucky stars for growing up with 

Get the 

latex look 

Are the doll-like faces that are ruling 

Instagram for real? Frankly, we can’t tell 

CHLOE KHAN The CBB 

housemate is bent overin 

most of her pics – maybe 

it’s the weight of her lips, 

boobs and bronzer? 

LIL’ KIM Where she 

finds the rubber-finish 

foundation and near-red 

sculpting powder, we 

truly are at a loss to say. 

CHARLOTTE CROSBY 

Now makes a career of 

chronicling her plastic 

surgery and weightfluctuation 

‘journeys’. 

KYLIE JENNER Took 

on the image of half-sister 

Kim K by “simply using 

lipliner”. That’s what 

make-up can do, people. 

PIA MIA Jumbo lips 

parted, nose downsized, 

camel lashes, dead-eyed 

gaze: yes, Pia has become 

the sex doll of dreams. 

only three TV channels and nobody 

to pose for but my brother and his 

Pocket Instamatic. 

Beauty is a state of mind 

Our ambition-driven, individualistic 

culture makes us extra-vulnerable to 

competitive comparison. “In the West 

and any Westernised country, we 

celebrate individual success over that 

of the community,” says Langcaster- 

James. “Also, capitalist society is 

founded on an ‘imperfection’ mentality 

that says you would be great if only you 

had this or that.” In other words, feeling 

not quite good enough is ingrained in 

our culture – and social media, where 

everyone else’s life seems glossier, sexier 

and more successful than yours, only 

serves to ram the point home. 

In contrast, Sharmadean Reid, MBE, 

the 32-year-old entrepreneur behind 

Wah Nails, grew up “as part of a wide 

female family network. In Jamaican 

culture (as in many others), kids are 

told continuously that they’re beautiful 

just as they are; that’s why Jamaican 

women are so sassy! Actual, physical 

social networks and tribes are so 

important. If you’re not surrounded 

by loved ones who offer continuous 

support and affirmation, you’ll look 

for completion in all the wrong places.” 

When I asked a 21-year-old 

Cosmopolitan intern why she loved 

online tutorials, she said it was because 

“I’ll never have to make mistakes with 

make-up like your generation did”. 

And there’s the rub. Experimentation, 

creativity, individual style, pushing 

against the establishment: all the 

things that being young and playing 

with make-up were always about are 

seen as embarrassing mistakes by an 

Instagram generation brought up on 

conformity and perfection. And it’s 

time that changed, says Barber. “There’s 

huge potential for counterculture and 

diversity online, but not if followers 

and likes are our reason for living.” 

Girl power 

And – hallelujah! – individual thinking 

is seeping back into the mainstream. 

This season’s big campaigns are awash 

with startling-looking, androgynous 

models. Ruth Bell, Andreja Pejić and 

Isabella Emmack are all arresting 

because they look different. 

And if you want to see how beautiful 

that can be, look at Alicia Keys. Sick 

of the way the entertainment industry 

tried to make her fit the ‘foxy, skinny, 

perfect’ mould while leaving her 

increasingly insecure, she wrote on 

Lennyletter.com (Lena Dunham and 

Jenni Konner’s feminist website): 

“I don’t want to cover up any more. 

Not my face, not my mind, not my 

soul, not my thoughts, not my dreams, 

not my struggles, not my emotional 

growth. Nothing.” She now performs 

in freckles, free from make-up and 

looking impossibly young for her 

35 years. “I hope to God it’s a 

revolution,” she says. Me too. ◆ 

PHOTOGRAPHS RANKIN/TRUNKARCHIVE.COM, GETTY IMAGES, REX FEATURES, WENN.COM 

74 · COSMOPOLITAN

PHOTOGRAPHS ALAMY. STILL LIFE HEARST STUDIOS. SOAPER DUPER AT LIBERTY.CO.UK. 

WRINKLES SCHMINKLES AT VICTORIAHEALTH.COM. SILKE AT SILKELONDON.COM 

INGE HAS 

ISSUES 

Cosmopolitan’s Beauty Director INGEBORG VAN LOTRINGEN gets a few things off her chest 

Flaring, itchy, weeping, 

scaly skin can happen at any 

time, as ever more of us know. My 

own palms, exasperatingly, currently 

model all of the above, like dermatitic 

stigmata. Triggers are numerous 

(stress, irritants, allergies) and often 

hard to pin down. While you should at least 

temporarily switch to skincare free from all 

irritants (I like Purepotions, from £4.65), you really 

need a salve capable of extinguishing the infernal 

burning and itching, pronto. SkinCeuticals Phyto 

Corrective Masque is a marvel that can – in fact, 

it seems to be healing my seeping palms. I don’t 

know if it’s the calming peptide or cooling botanicals 

that do it, but by God, this gel works. I also rate La 

Roche-Posay Cicaplast with its 5% healing panthenol, 

and Pai Instant Calm Redness Serum noticeably 

soothes, and is as free as can be from any contested, 

potentially irritating ingredients. And breathe… 

OBSESSED 

✱ Soaper Duper Fruity 

Green Tuberose Body 

Wash, £7.50 Free from 

undesirables such as 

sulphates and colourants 

and from inflated prices: 

I love this brand, and 

these bubbles especially. 

We need to talk about… 

Calming 

angry 

skın 

PERSONAL SHOPPER 

IMPRESSED 

✱ Ciaté Mani Markers, £9.95 

Now you can marker-pen your 

nails (don’t pretend ou never 

did in school) w ab don: 

these are fil 

with polis 

come i 

e shades. 

Pai Instant Calm 

Redness Serum, 

£42. SkinCeuticals 

Phyto Corrective 

Masque, £55. 

La Roche-Posay 

Cicaplast Baume, 

£6.50 

TRENDING... 

BEAUTY SLEEP 

Multitask the modern way 

– do your beauty routine 

while you sleep. Wrinkles 

Schminkles Forehead and 

Eye Smoothing Kit (£21) 

features silicone pads to 

iron out lines overnight, 

and the fetching Silke Hair 

Wrap (£45, below) to get 

rid of frizz. I can vouch 

for the effectiveness of 

both, if not my in-bed 

attractiveness. Good 

Things Anti-Blemish 

Overnight Clearing Serum 

(£5.99) is full of poreclearing 

botanicals to 

nix flare-ups before 

sunrise. Sweet dreams. 

Liz Taylor… wait, 

no, it’s Inge 

NONPLUSSED 

✱ Sleek MakeUP Power 

Plump Lip Crayons, £5.49 

‘With gently tingling 

natural compounds to 

plump’? My lips feel 

as if I’ve plugged them 

to an electric socket. 

Send help! 

COSMOPOLITAN · 77

BEAUTY 

LAB 

Voya Balancing 

Act Soothing Facial 

Serum, £51 

Some serums for oily 

skin barely moisturise 

at all. This gel uses 

seaweed proteins to 

keep oil levels in check, 

and lavender to heal 

blemishes, yet still 

manages not to skimp 

on hydration. Worth 

every penny. 

This month... 

Oil busters 

Can a shine-free T-zone ever be yours 

if you have oily skin? Acting Beauty 

Editor FIONA EMBLETON ditches the 

blotting paper to find out… 

SkinCeuticals Mineral 

Matte UV Defense, £39 

Mineral sunblocks are 

great for mattifying, 

thanks to oil-absorbing 

titanium dioxide. Only 

apply this to your T-zone 

as the texture is similar 

to heavy foundation and 

prevents light reflection. 

Use your usual SPF for 

the rest of your face. 

Sisley Intensive 

Serum, £103 

This mops up oil and 

unclogs pores with 

purifying ingredients 

such as java tea and 

salicylic acid. It leaves 

a slightly dewy finish 

– but in a good way, 

not in an “I just got 

soaked running for 

the bus” way. 

The Body Shop 

Tea Tree Anti- 

Imperfection Daily 

Solution, £11 

The soothing aloe 

vera means you get 

all the spot-zapping 

benefits of tea tree 

without the harsh 

drying effects. I found 

the smell a bit 

overpowering, though. 

Editor’s 

pick 

La Roche-Posay Effaclar 

Duo (+) Unifiant, £16.50 

Spot treatments are 

usually like nude bras: 

necessary but unsexy. 

Not this one. It left me 

with zero shine all day, 

soothed away redness 

and, because the 

formula is tinted, it 

even blurred large 

pores. I’m converted. 

PHOTOGRAPH CAMERA PRESS/FIGAROPHOTO/MICHAEL WIRTH. STILL LIFE HEARST STUDIOS 

78 · COSMOPOLITAN

W O R K S M A R T E R , N O T H A R D E R … 

WORDS AMY GRIER. PHOTOGRAPHS AMY SLOANE. NOTEBOOK, LIBERTY LONDON. PEN, KATE SPADE AT JOHN LEWIS 

ONE-TRACK MIND 

Read emails. Facebook. Go to toilet. Have irrelevant 

conversation with colleague. When it comes to so-called 

‘multitasking’, the struggle is definitely real. Which is why 

those in the know (the clever bods who did a study at 

Stanford University) have proclaimed monotasking the new 

multitasking. Apparently, the more we try to do at once, the 

less able to get creative and develop emotional intelligence 

we become. The remedy? Avoid computers (yes, phones 

too) for the first hour of the day, as studies show time away 

from email improves focus, and do the task that involves 

the most concentration later in the morning: research shows 

it’s when your body is at its optimum temperature 

to aid cognitive thinking. Wearing a quilted onesie 

all day does not yield the same results, apparently. 

81

SELF 

MADE 

“Never 

make a big 

decision on 

a bad day” 

She’s the wizard who created everyone’s 

favourite candles – but JO MALONE, 53, 

began as a humble magician’s assistant 

Create your own way of learning 

When you have severe dyslexia like I do, people 

tell you it’s a learning disability. But it’s not; 

it’s the ability to learn differently. Instead of 

writing things down, I mimic. After spending 

time with my mother’s boss [Jo’s mother was 

a beauty therapist] in her lab, she asked me to 

make a face mask. If she’d handed me a written 

formula, I couldn’t have done it. But I’d spent 

weeks absorbing everything, so I just copied 

what I’d watched her do. I was eight years old. 

Nothing in life is wasted 

Even if your job isn’t relevant to your goal, 

all experiences feed into it. Growing up, I went 

to markets with my father to help him sell 

paintings and learned about retail strategies. 

And as a magician’s assistant in his shows, 

I studied the art of audience engagement. 

When you’re going through a tough time, tell 

yourself, “I may not learn from this experience 

now, but in time, I’ll see how important it was.” 

Make ‘plan A’ your only plan 

Plan A is always to succeed – so if it’s not 

working, adapt how you get there. Last year, 

I went to Shanghai to set up a stall to showcase 

our products. We’d planned an interactive 

bar with cocktail shakers, tagine dishes and 

JO’S CV 

1978 Left school at 15 

without qualifications after 

struggling with dyslexia 

1979-1994 Helped run her 

mother’s cosmetics business; 

created bath oils at home 

1994 Opened her first store 

1999 Sold Jo Malone London 

to Estée Lauder for 

undisclosed millions 

2006 Stepped down as 

creative director and was 

contractually obliged to stay 

away from the beauty 

industry for five years 

2011 Founded Jo Loves. 

First store opened two 

years later 

2016 Releases her memoir 

Jo Malone: My Story 

on 6th October 

Hearst Empowering Women 

is an initiative to support 

women’s careers in business, 

beauty and beyond. Find more 

at empowering.hearst.co.uk 

paintbrushes to demonstrate Jo Loves 

scents. Hours before the event, the bar 

arrived – but nothing else. All we had was 

a white box and two hours to work out 

a plan. I drove to Ikea, bought bowls, and 

borrowed cocktail shakers and glasses 

from a hotel. Our stall was a huge success 

– because we’d stood back and thought, 

“There must be a way to make this work.” 

Never stop questioning 

Horst Rechelbacher, the founder of Aveda, 

said, “Why is it that when we’re small, we 

can do so much with so little – but when 

we’re large, we do so little with so much?” 

When I first began making bath oils at my 

kitchen table, I had to make a small pool 

of money stretch. As a working-class girl 

made good, I still think like that. 

Your exit is important 

The way you leave a company is just as 

significant as your first day. You’ll always run 

into people later down the line, so depart 

with grace. Even if you really don’t feel like 

it. Also, never make a big decision when 

you’re having a bad day. Always sleep on it. 

WORDS JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPH NEALE HAYNES/CONTOUR BY GETTY IMAGES 

82 · COSMOPOLITAN

THE 

(WORK) 

ROBOTS 

ARE 

COMING… 

In the next decade, more 

than a third of jobs won’t 

need a human to do them. 

Give the machines a run 

for their money by 

upskilling – fast 

A 

night out in 2026: you buy a 

dress from a rail of holograms, 

a drone delivers it, a driverless 

car picks you up at 2am and then, 

hungover, you project Netflix just by 

talking to it. The downside? In 10 

years, the tech that boosts your social 

life could crush your career, with 

roles paying less than £30,000 nearly 

five times more likely to go.* Which 

leaves you...? Not screwed exactly, but 

ready to swot up on the skills that will 

future-proof your day job, perhaps. 

Sure, they can 

code – but can 

they strut? 

Carry on coding 

Coding is currently the most talkedabout 

skill to learn – with even Karlie 

Kloss getting involved (the supermodel 

has set up workshops to encourage 

more women into tech careers). But 

will it still be worth it in 10 years’ 

time? In short, yes: 750,000 digital 

workers are needed by 2017, and 

salaries in software development 

begin at £35,000. But even if you’re 

not planning on developing the new 

Snapchat any time soon, the skills 

COSMOPOLITAN · 87

Even robots 

look like 

arseholes 

on scooters 

Randomly pick one of the on-screen 

flashcards and it will reveal a phrase 

or image designed to make you 

rethink your problem. 

still carry through. Most headhunting 

is increasingly done online, using 

social recruiting software, which trawls 

the web looking for specific keywords 

(and they hone in on coding skills). 

Learn it: Try Python, the computer 

language used by programmers at big 

guns such as Google, NASA and 

Spotify to build platforms and 

products. Plus, it’s said to be the easiest 

to master. Look up EdX’s free online 

course ‘Introduction To Computer 

Science And Programming Using 

Python’. Take that, Wall-E. 

Creative thinking 

Get that thinking cap on. “There 

is still one aspect that robots won’t 

be able to replace: creative thinking, 

imagination and intuition,” explains 

Jacob Morgan, a workplace futurist 

(yep, genuinely a job). John Lewis 

and P&G already use Crowdicity – 

‘idea management software’ where 

bosses set a challenge and employees 

submit ideas, with the best often 

rewarded. Ray Kurzweil, Google’s 

director of engineering (who, 20 

years ago, predicted wearable tech 

would be a thing), believes that in 

the 2030s we’ll even link our brains 

to the cloud – allowing us to back up 

our thoughts and connect to the 

internet to think faster. 


Learn it: Not the most imaginative 

of thinkers? Claire Bridges, founder 

of Now Go Create – which trains 

businesses ranging from Channel 4 

to Microsoft on how to think more 

creatively – swears by the power of 

three. “Force yourself to think of at 

least three ways to solve a challenge; 

not the most obvious.” Stuck? 

Download the free Brainsparker app. 

SPEAK ROBOT 

The words of the future 

to learn now… 

INCUBATOR SPACE 

Sounds straight out of Alien, but is 

actually a community place for 

start-ups, where you can share 

equipment, ideas and possibly crisps. 

NEO-GENERALIST 

Has a rough knowledge of many areas, 

as opposed to ‘hyper-specialising’ in 

one. Good for an uncertain job market. 

And pub quizzes. 

DRONE-TRAFFIC OPTIMISER 

The new role of robotic airspace 

traffic warden, mainly dealing in 

ASOS deliveries. 

PEOPLE ANALYTICS 

HR that uses data to suss out exactly 

how to retain and incentivise 

employees. Currently uncertain whether 

Colin The Caterpillar will feature. 

Be adept at adaptation 

With new entry-level employees 

averaging five careers in their 

lifetimes, it’s more vital than ever 

to have a range of skills. “The top 

challenge for a professional today is 

to stay relevant,” says Dan Schawbel, 

author of Promote Yourself: The New 

Rules For Building An Outstanding 

Career. But what to actually learn? 

The internet is awash with MOOCs 

(massive open online courses) that 

offer free tuition from universities on 

everything from machine learning to 

positive psychology via providers such 

as Coursera, EdX and FutureLearn. 

Learn it: Find the skills needed for 

your career at Degreed – a new 

platform that asks what you specialise 

in and then makes you a bespoke 

daily learning ‘playlist’ (essays to 

read, YouTube videos, MOOCs). 

Each time you complete something 

(say, an article) it validates and 

charts your progress. Like a CV 

– but one that gets updated daily, 

not every six years. 

Go with the motion 

Still using PowerPoint or the 

yawn-inducing flipchart? Bring your 

presentations to life (and keep your 

colleagues awake) with motion 

graphics. Rich Pearson, of freelance 

job site Upwork, says he has seen 

a demand for PowerPoint skills go 

down by 5%, but those looking for 

skills in presentation software Prezi 

have grown. It swaps slides for a series 

of screens that move the viewer 

laterally around, and you can zoom 

in on figures, drawings and graphs. 

A bit like creating your own cartoon. 

Learn it: Beginner courses in Prezi 

and Keynote (a similar tool) are 

available on Lynda.com – LinkedIn’s 

online learning platform – from 

£18.95 a month. ◆ 

*ACCORDING TO STUDY BY OXFORD UNIVERSITY AND DELOITTE. WORDS GEMMA ASKHAM. 

PHOTOGRAPHS SCOPE BEAUTY/NICK SCOTT/BAUER SYNDICATION

S T R E T C H Y O U R B O D Y A N D Y O U R M I N D . . . 

GOOD AS GOLD 

First it was matcha lattes, then Bulletproof Coffee. Now the hot drink 

the health set are stretching their toned arms out for is golden milk. Made 

from turmeric (yep, that yellow powder you put in your homemade 

tikka masala), milk, ginger and honey, it’s all the rage in cafés in Sydney, 

San Francisco and London. A DIY version requires just two teaspoons of 

turmeric, 250ml milk (either dairy or plant-based), a sprinkle of ginger and 

a teaspoon of honey or maple syrup to taste. Nutritionists are raving about 

its key ingredient, turmeric, a powerful antioxidant and anti-inflammatory 

that detoxes the liver and soothes upset tummies. Diehard fans of the 

stuff claim it also helps them sleep better and brightens the skin. Our tip? 

Don’t skip the honey, unless you fancy drinking hot milk 

that tastes like Saturday night’s curry. 

WORDS CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPH PIOTR GREGORCZYK 

COSMOPOLITAN · 91

The 

scul 

The woman who trains 

Karlie Kloss and Shakira 

knows a thing or two 

about creating flat abs 

A 

nna Kaiser, superstar 

celebrity trainer, believes 

a killer core is the key to 

all-over fitness. “Karlie Kloss 

loves to feel capable of doing 

anything,” she tells us. “That comes 

from pure core strength. These moves 

get your heart rate up and engage 

all your muscles at the same time, 

so you burn more and get quicker 

results.” Do the below workout, with 

10 reps of each exercise, three times 

a week (you’ll need a Swiss ball, 

FYI), leaving rest days in-between. 

Disclaimer: may result in abs so 

good, you’ll want to rock a crop 

top even if it’s freezing outside*. 

STEP 1 Side passe dip 

TARGETS Obliques, glutes 

1 Start in a side plank, supporting 

your body with your left arm. 

2 Keeping your right foot on the 

floor, bend your left leg and hold 

your left foot o your right knee. 

3 Still in that osition, dip your left 

hip to the flo . Raise up, with 

your arm by ur side. That’s one 

rep; nine m 

and you’re 

done. 

*COSMOPOLITAN TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR FROSTBITE. PHOTOGRAPH 

YURI HAHHALEV/THE LICENSING PROJECT. ILLUSTRATIONS LIZZY THOMAS 

EXPRESS 

WORKOUT 

TIP! 

The mistake Kaiser spots 

all the time? People setting 

up the high plank with 

shoulders behind wrists. “Bring 

your weight forward, so your 

shoulders are over your wrists. 

You’ll instantly feel your 

abs engage more.” 

92 · COSMOPOLITAN

Twisting sit-up 

TARGETS Upper and lower abs 

1 Lay flat on y ur back, your arms ex ende straight 

above your he d, touching the floor hin you. 

2 Sit up, keepi g your arms straight d i ng your 

right knee tow rds y r h st. Twis u dy 

towards it, mo i g y r r s o t i . 

3 Move back t 

out in front, lo 

4 Repeat on th 

for one rep. W 

effective than a 

simple crunch. 

STEP 3 Double tap-outs 

TARG T Obliqu s, glutes 

1 Begi i a igh la k positio . 

2 Tap o r ht t ut to the ide, keeping 

your r the fl or. 

3 Ben and ta as close to 

o ight shoulder 

sible. 

urn to plank 

peat on the 

left. That’s one rep. 

ife with a twist 

TARGETS Obliques, glutes 

1 Begin in a high plank, shins on a Swiss ball. 

2 Press down into the ball with your shins and 

bend your knees in, lifting your hips towards the 

ceiling and bringing the ball close to your body. 

3 Aim to bring both knees to your left shoulder 

(or as close as you can, twisting your mid-section). 

4 Now slowly return 

to plank. Repeat on the 

right. That’s one rep. 

Keep that ball steady… 

STEP 5 Supine 

Swiss twist 

TARGETS Lower abs 

1 Lying flat, hold you all 

between your calves w your 

legs extended to the c i 

2 Put hands out in a n. 

3 Lower legs halfway t r. 

4 Rotate your legs and 

the ball to the right, then 

back to centre. 

5 Lift your legs bac t 

starting position, an 

on the left. Feel that 

inner burn. 

COSMOPOLITAN · 93

Feed full of Lycra-clad selfies and perfect #abs 

shots? Don’t believe everything you see through 

an Instagram filter, says Emilie Lovaine, 27, the 

heal ness blogger who’s speaking out 

TO RST

it was only 8am and I was already 

two hours into my daily fourhour 

workout. That was standard 

for me: a personal-training 

session, followed by a 45-minute 

spin class, circuits for another 45 

minutes, all topped off with a 

gruelling, muscle-hewing abs session. 

Like most mornings, I hadn’t eaten 

anything either. I’d read online that 

training on an empty stomach would 

maximise the effect, so that’s what I did 

– every morning. Occasionally, when 

the hunger got too much, I’d have 

some frozen fruit in the afternoon, 

but mostly I’d hold out until evening. 

The thing was, I looked good – at 

least to the outside world. I was a health 

blogger with more than 40,000 

followers. I fronted athletic campaigns. 

Every day I shared images 

of my ‘healthy’ lifestyle 

and body. Over 200 ‘likes’ 

for a picture of my abs 

was normal, as were 

comments from dozens 

of women asking how 

I stayed in shape. 

I used to be that woman 

searching for ‘health’ 

advice online. At 

university I became 

fixated with my body and went for 

days without eating. I had a tough 

time growing up and thought if I was 

skinnier I’d be happier. I’d binge on 

junk food and deliberately make 

myself sick – even giving myself awful 

nosebleeds in the process. I was able to 

overcome my bulimia with counselling 

and the support of my now fiancé, Jon. 

Around this time, in 2008, I set up a 

blog for my photography and styling 

work, but as I became more interested 

in fitness, my posts became focused 

on that. I created an Instagram account 

in 2012, after winning a competition 

to be an ambassador for a surf brand 

and before long I was approached by 

well-known clothing and fitness 

brands to star in their campaigns or 

create workout videos for them. I’d 

earn up to £600 a day and was offered 

“I felt trapped 

in this routine 

of exercise 

and starvation” 

all-expenses-paid trips abroad. I also 

set up a store to sell jewellery I’d 

designed and linked it to my blog, 

and in February 2015, I left my job as 

a social-media manager to blog and 

run my shop full-time. I could make 

as much (if not more) than I had been 

earning, just by blogging about fitness. 

As I saw how other bloggers 

marketed themselves, I did the same, 

posting pictures of raw-chocolate 

bites I’d spent hours making, and 

rows of cold-pressed juices. The 

difference was I would throw all the 

food away after taking the photo. 

I knew the way I was living wasn’t 

healthy, but it felt normalised – at an 

event, if I said I was going to the gym 

for four hours a day, other bloggers 

would say, “Me too.” 

I posted a photo of 

myself in a tiny black 

sports bra and blue 

leggings during the 

peak of my illness and 

captioned it ‘Progress’, 

and a girl commented, 

‘OMG I can’t believe 

how thin you’ve got 

your thighs.’ All I thought 

was how they must have 

been huge before. 

The brands I worked with never 

asked me to lose weight, nor did 

they ask about my lifestyle. But my 

social-media world infused with health 

and wellness was the very thing 

catalysing my illness. 

Three months into my gruelling 

regime, I woke up seeing stars. Forcing 

a spoon of Weetabix into my mouth 

to prepare for my morning workout, 

my stomach balked and I spat it out. 

I felt trapped in this routine of exercise 

and starvation and needed help. 

I sobbed in the waiting room for 45 

minutes before a kindly GP ushered 

me into his office. When he asked me 

to explain the problem, I couldn’t stop. 

Then, despite my protests, the doctor 

weighed me. I’d lost two stone in the 

space of three months and was 

dangerously underweight. To the 

COSMOPOLITAN · 95

outside world I was the 

poster girl for good health, 

but in reality mine 

was crumbling – and I felt 

like a fraud. I was even 

neglecting my blog and 

store to spend entire days 

in the gym, so I owed 

Jon £2,500 for rent. 

A few days later I sat back 

in the surgery with wires 

attached to my chest, having 

an ECG. I asked the nurse 

if everything was OK. “No. 

We need a doctor,” she said 

quietly, closing the door. A 

regular resting heart rate is 

60 to 100 beats per minute; 

mine was 30, and my blood 

sugar was dangerously low. 

Yet I had a ball of anger in 

my stomach and a voice 

in my head said I should 

be in the gym – my 

followers would expect a 

workout update. Referred 

to an eating-disorder unit 

in Northampton, I was 

diagnosed with bulimia 

and anorexia athletica – 

a compulsive need to 

exercise. I was treated as an 

outpatient for 11 months. 

Over the next year, I took 

steps to make my life online more 

honest. I unfollowed 400 fitness 

accounts from Instagram so I wasn’t 

continuously hit with messages of 

‘body perfection’, and regained some 

weight. I kept posting, but nowhere 

near as much, and deleted all the shots 

of myself looking tiny. I also continued 

doing workout videos in this time 

and even began working as a personal 

trainer, but I knew it was too dangerous 

for me to be in an environment where 

food and body image were the main 

topics of conversation, so I quit and 

looked for a regular nine-to-five. 

Finally, in April 2016, I posted on 

Facebook that I’d been discharged as 

an outpatient and couldn’t be happier. 

A month later, I shared two photos 

from the depths of my illness. I look 

painfully thin. In one, I’m wearing a 

playsuit I’d bought in a size 6 and 

strived so hard to fit into. The caption 

read, ‘I thought if I lost weight I’d feel 

good about myself, but it never works 

like that. I’d go days without eating 

anything and still try to train,’ and 

I hashtagged it ‘#LiftTheFilter’. 

Within an hour I received hundreds 

of likes, comments and messages. 

Other bloggers offered support or 

asked for advice on how they could 

find help for their own eating 

disorders – and that made it all worth 

it. I know at least five high-profile 

bloggers who are over-exercising and 

under-eating. That’s why I’m speaking 

out, urging other women to seek 

OTHER BLOGGERS 

‘LIFTING THE FILTER’ 

CELIA LEARMONTH 

Previously known as 

the London Fitness 

Guide, this high-flying 

blogger confessed to 

surviving only on a diet of eggs and 

avocado while putting her body 

through punishing six-hour workouts, 

which made her periods stop. 

CASSEY HO 

In 2014 the former 

weightlifter of 

Blogilates fame spoke 

of her extreme diet and 

exercise regime, saying she once ate a 

slice of cheesecake and had cramps for 

hours. “My stomach had been starved 

for so long it didn’t know how to react.” 

ANTONIA ERIKSSON 

The fitness blogger 

and personal trainer 

bravely posted a 

photograph of her 

hospital room in 2012 when she 

was admitted for anorexia. Antonia 

now posts using @EatMoveImprove 

and chronicles her road to recovery. 

support and visit their GP. Although 

none of the brands I’ve worked with 

have said anything about #LiftTheFilter 

and they continue to approach me, 

blogging is no longer my priority. 

I now make money from an office 

job doing social media for festivals 

– being in a fixed routine helps to 

structure my day around a healthy 

eating pattern. I’ve stopped filtering my 

demons; now I face them head-on. ◆ 

For support and more information about 

eating disorders, visit b-eat.co.uk 

PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN. STYLING SAIREY STEMP. HAIR AND MAKE-UP EMILY JANE WILLIAMS. 

TOP, LEGGINGS, JACKET AND TRAINERS, ALL STELLA MCCARTNEY FOR ADIDAS AT THE STYLE EDIT 

96 · COSMOPOLITAN

T OFF 

It’s the 

biggest secret in fitness 

– chugging on the right 

shake can light a fire under 

your workout. Need some 

protein pointers? 

Read on 

Some time in the last 12 months, 

clutching a post-gym shake 

went from the realm of the 

oiled-up muscle Marys to the 

mainstream masses. But here’s the 

thing – the UK protein-powders market might 

have nearly doubled in value in the past five 

years * , yet most of us don’t have a clue what to 

do with them. We don’t even really know 

whether we’re supposed to have chugged them 

pre- or post-squat. “When you exercise, 

especially with weights, you break down your 

muscle fibres,” explains Richard Chessor ** , a 

leading sports nutritionist. “What that means 

is that your body needs amino acids from 

protein to rebuild them stronger.” But how 

best to get that all-important protein fix? We’ve 

answered this (and all the other protein-related 

questions) on these pages. Magical gym results 

(and a much more palatable shake) await…

WORDS JESSICA POWELL. PHOTOGRAPHS LOUISA PARRY. PROTEIN SHAKERS, SMARTSHAKE.COM, SPORTSDIRECT.COM. *ACCORDING TO MARKET-RESEARCH COMPANY EUROMONITOR INTERNATIONAL. **RICHARD CHESSOR IS A 

BOARD MEMBER FOR THE SPORT AND EXERCISE NUTRITION REGISTER, RUN BY THE BRITISH DIETETIC ASSOCIATION. †DIRECTOR OF MCMASTER CENTRE FOR NUTRITION, EXERCISE AND HEALTH RESEARCH, MCMASTER UNIVERSITY 

Q1 

So, we’re constantly being 

told to eat ‘real’ food. Why 

is using a powder substitute 

suddenly A-OK? 

Because, unless you’re The Rock and 

fancy eating 1,000 calories of cod a 

day, it’s hard to get the amount of protein 

we need. And if you’re (a) vegetarian/ 

vegan or (b) perma-busy and just like carbs, 

you might risk falling short. “This is where 

protein powders come into their own,” says 

Chessor. “A shake can plug the gap.” 

Chessor reckons women who exercise 

Tip! 

should be getting 1.4g of protein every 

day for every kilogram they weigh. On 

average, that’s about 88g, equivalent to six 

eggs or three chicken breasts. Told you 

it was easier to drink it. 

Q4 

Is it true there’s, like, a billion 

calories in these things? 

Pure protein comes in at four calories 

per gram – not much, but still an 

addition if you knock it back without 

doing any exercise. Watch out for those 

intended to be a meal replacement 

and those with carbs in them as well 

(intended to fuel your workout). And 

before you ask, no, chugging them 

won’t automatically beef you 

up either (that takes years 

of effort – just ask 

Jodie Marsh). 

Add a 

Tip! 

teaspoon 

of nut butter or 

chia seeds to 

your smoothie, 

for some 

healthy fats to 

keep you fuller 

for longer. 

Q2 

Do I need vegan protein, 

or the regular stuff? 

Overwhelmed by shouty branding offering 

‘INSTANT MUSCLE’? There are actually just two 

types: dairy and vegan. If your diet allows it, the 

experts recommend going for dairy (those are 

the whey and casein powders, FYI.) “They’re 

rich in amino acids that are important for 

muscle building,” says Chessor. “Vegan 

protein sources, such as hemp, pea 

and rice, have less.” 

Train your eye on how 

Tip! 

much protein is in your tub. 

“Choose a powder that’s as ‘pure’ 

as possible. That’s 75-80g per 

100g or above with dairy, and 

25g per 100g with vegan.” 

Q3 

Are they not full of crap? 

Some tubs do give us awful chemistry-class 

flashbacks, but the key is (for obvious reasons 

you’ve had drilled into you over and over again) 

to avoid the sugar-filled ones. “Keep an eye on 

those ending in -ose – fructose, glucose, maltose 

and dextrose,” says Chessor. Basically, if it tastes 

like a frappuccino, the chances are it’s probably 

as good for you as one. 

As for those ‘healthy’ sugars? 

Tip! 

Yep, Chessor advises against them 

as well. We’re talking maltodextrin, 

brown rice syrup, coconut sugar 

and palm sugar. 

Q5 

Does it matter when 

I drink it? 

You may have heard you 

should down your shake 

within 30 minutes of exercise 

as (the theory goes) it’s when 

your muscles are primed for 

growth. But experts believe it’s 

a misnomer. “Research suggests 

resistance exercise can increase your 

muscle-building rate for more than 

24 hours,” says nutrition professor Stuart Phillips † – 

so there’s no ‘magic window’ for shake time. 

The rules are different for night owls. “If you 

Tip! 

work out in the evening, have your protein before 

bed, so your body isn’t waiting until morning,” advises 

Chessor. Protein powder = next-gen Horlicks. ◆ 

COSMOPOLITAN · 99

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COSMOPOLITAN · 101

Milestone moments 

To celebrate Pandora’s new Petite Memories collection, three 

inspirational women share their personal triumphs and accomplishments 

JUNE SARPONG 

MBE, presenter 

Sarpong lets us in on a few of 

the remarkable achievements 

throughout her 20-year career. 

Sterling silver 

Starry Memories 

charm set, £25 

WHAT WOULD YOU COUNT 

AS THE HIGHLIGHT OF YOUR 

CAREER SO FAR? 

Hosting Nelson Mandela’s 

90th birthday party in Hyde Park 

in front of 30,000 people is 

something I’ll never forget. 

WHAT IS THE BOLDEST 

THING YOU'VE DONE 

IN YOUR CAREER? 

My current fashion project, LDNY. 

It’s completely out of my comfort 

zone – I’m employing people who 

are dependent on it succeeding 

in order to pay their rent. 

WHAT IS THE BEST PIECE 

OF CAREER ADVICE 

YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN? 

Diane Von Furstenberg once said 

to me, “I’ve never met a woman 

who isn’t strong, and often you 

don’t know until you’re tested. 

Don’t wait to be tested.” 

LIKE A CHARM 

FLOATING 

LOCKET 

With three different 

lengths and sizes, pick 

your special locket 

and fill it with charms 

that represent your 

milestone moments... 

Locket necklace, £120 (large); £100 

(medium); £55 (pendant charm) 

STARRY 

MEMORIES 

Pick this fun set of 

charms to resemble 

the significant moments 

in your life that have 

made you the person 

you are today. 

LOVING 

MEMORIES 

These are the charms 

and memories you want 

to keep closest to you. 

They stand out alone 

or complement each 

other perfectly. 

FAMILY 

MEMORIES 

These unique charms 

represent and remind 

us of our close ones. 

They are also a 

wonderful gift to give 

to your loved ones.

COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION 

SOPHIE BRAY, 

Olympic gold medallist 

Bray was part of Team 

GB’s gold-medal-winning 

hockey team at the 

2016 Olympics. 

WHAT DID IT FEEL 

LIKE TO WIN AT RIO? 

It is certainly most athletes’ 

dream to be an Olympic 

champion, and when I was 

standing on the podium 

singing the national 

anthem with my teammates 

I couldn’t help but think 

about all those times 

growing up when I had 

dreamt of this moment. 

It was extremely surreal. 

WHAT KEEPS 

YOU MOTIVATED? 

Wanting to be the best that 

I can possibly be. I want 


Family Memories 


to reach my potential 

and always keep learning 

and developing my game. 

I always want to improve 

and be a better player. 

WHAT'S ON 

YOUR TRAINING 

SOUNDTRACK, AND 

WHAT IS YOUR 

VICTORY SONG? 

My training soundtrack is 

Don’t Be So Hard On Yourself 

by Jess Glynne, 

and my victory song is 

Invincible by Tinie Tempah. 

MASHA ROTAR, 

blogger @masha_theone 

Rotar is a glamorous 

mother who inspires 

others through her blog. 


Loving Memories 


WHAT IS THE 

COOLEST THING 

YOUR BLOG HAS 

ENABLED YOU TO DO? 

This summer, I attended 

Bonpoint’s S/S 17 couture 

fashion show in Paris – 

that was a total dreamcome-true 

moment; and 

this shoot and interview 

today with Cosmopolitan, 

which has been one of 

my favourite magazines 

since I was a teenager. 

WHAT WAS THE 

BIGGEST CAREER 

TURNING POINT 

FOR YOU, AND WHY? 

The day I decided to start 

a blog. I didn’t understand 

that at the time, but my 

passion has turned into 

a job. I never planned or 

imagined doing this, ever.

The 

2016 

illennial 

power 

lıst 

In the future, when the history books 

are written (or dictated by robots and 

distributed via thought-speak), there will 

be a lot to say about this year. They’ll talk 

of influencers and inventors, breakthroughs 

and bravery, of the glass ceilings that lay 

shattered thanks to the work of some 

(frankly pretty brilliant) women. Mostly, 

though, they’ll see it as the period that 

millennials – those born between 1982 

and 2004 – really came into their own. To 

give those robotic historians a head start, 

They shape what you watch, eat, think, wear 

we’ve compiled a list of young women 

who are shaping the world as we know it. 

and give a crap about. Time to meet the women 

Warning: chances of feeling like a massive 

who are changing everything for the better 

underachiever while reading this = high. 

104 · COSMOPOLITAN

READ 

TAVI 

GEVINSON 

Age: 20 

Nationality: American 

Who: The next 

media mogul. 

If you spent your 12th 

birthday playing Pogs, 

prepare to feel vastly 

inadequate. That was the 

age Gevinson started her 

first fashion blog, Style 

Rookie, which quickly 

gained 30,000 readers 

a day. It was followed, 

when she was 15, by 

Rookie Magazine, a 

website for teen girls, 

with articles from the likes 

of Lena Dunham and 

Judd Apatow. The former 

teen prodigy now splits 

her time between her 

half a million Instagram 

followers, acting in 

Broadway plays, singing, 

and speaking to teens 

through her 2012 TEDx 

talk – viewed over 1.27 

million times. The voice 

of a generation? We’d 

say so.

READ 

MALALA YOUSAFZAI 

Age: 19 Nationality: Pakistani 

Who: Our generation’s Nelson Mandela. 

When Yousafzai was only 11, she started 

writing a blog under a pseudonym for 

the BBC – detailing life under Taliban 

occupation in Pakistan. Her vocal 

criticism of the Taliban’s restriction of 

education for women put her life in 

serious danger. So much so that in 

2012, she was shot three times on her 

school bus. The national outcry that 

followed focused the spotlight on 

women’s rights in Pakistan and as she 

recovered, she continued campaigning 

for poor girls to go to school, even 

speaking to the United Nations about 

reforms. She’s the youngest recipient 

of the Nobel Peace Prize, and has 

highlighted the plight of women and girls 

just like her to millions of people across 

the world. And she’s not even 20 yet. 

Ashley Graham 

Age: 28 Nationality: American 

Who: The woman changing the shape 

of fashion (literally). 

If you’re one of her 2.3 million followers 

on Instagram, you’ll know Graham doesn’t 

take any shit about her weight. As a size 

16-18 model, designer and body activist, 

she rejects the reductive ‘plus-size’ label. Her 

TEDx talk was viewed almost a million times 

on YouTube and her #BeautyBeyondSize 

community – where women share bodypositive 

stories – has racked up more than 

75,000 posts. Appearing on the cover of 

Sports Illustrated in February was a landmark 

victory for anyone with even a hint of curve. 

Not only that, she’s also the co-founder of 

ALDA, a collective of ‘unconventional’ models 

seeking to change perceptions of beauty. 

Sophie 

Christiansen 

Age: 28 Nationality: British 

Who: The Paralympian nothing can stop. 

Rio was the equestrian’s fourth Paralympic Games in a row, 

after picking up a bronze medal in Athens in 2004, two golds 

and a silver at the 2008 Beijing Games, oh, and another three 

golds in London. As an OBE, she’s inspiring women everywhere 

– disabled and able-bodied alike – to take up sports. And 

maybe even a little maths, too. She’s a part-time statistical 

analyst for Goldman Sachs and she has a first-class master’s 

degree in mathematics. As we all do, of course... 

SOPHIA AMORUSO 


Who: The new kingpin of Silicon Valley. 

Launching your own e-commerce fashion brand – Nasty Gal – 

at 22 is no small thing; building it into an empire worth an estimated 

$280 million is quite another. One of the richest self-made women 

in America, she’s also 

established herself 

as a role model for other 

female techpreneurs. 

Since releasing her 

first book, #Girlboss 

(a New York Times 

bestseller), Amoruso 

has founded the 

#Girlboss Foundation, 

which helps fund female 

entrepreneurs and artists. 

The organisation has 

already handed out 

more than $100,000… 

and counting. 

106 · COSMOPOLITAN

Mhairi Black 


Who: The youngest (and most 

outspoken) MP in the country. 

After winning her election in Paisley and 

Renfrewshire South last year aged only 

20, Black’s been a tireless campaigner 

for LGBT rights since a Twitter troll 

labelled Black (who is gay) a “carpetmunching 

bull dyke”. She also works 

towards social justice with organisations 

such as Oxfam, and her maiden 

Commons speech last year, where 

she attacked the government’s position on social housing, has 

been viewed more than 10 million times across various media. 

“Ultimately people are needing a voice,” she says. “People are 

needing help, let’s give them it.” 

TEMI 

MARCELLA 

OLATUNDE 

Age: 28 

Nationality: 

British-Nigerian 

Who: Financial 

whiz-kid. 

Olatunde has helped 

tens of thousands 

of women as a 

mentor in the 

financial world. 

A Goldman Sachs 

Global Leader, she 

also helped establish 

its ‘10,000 Women’ 

initiative, which has 

provided capital to 

more than 30,000 

female entrepreneurs. 

Yusra Mardini 

Age: 18 Nationality: Syrian 

Who: The modern face of bravery. 

Just over a year before she won her 

heat in the 100-metre butterfly 

at the Rio Olympics as part of the 

Refugee Olympic Athletes Team, 

she was in the water, literally 

swimming for her life. As a Syrian 

refugee, Mardini was travelling to 

Greece by boat, and when it began 

to sink, she got out and swam it to 

shore, saving the lives of 19 people. 

MELISSA HEMSLEY 


Who: Champion of sensible eating. 

If you’re eating courgetti and frying 

your eggs in coconut oil, you can thank 

Melissa, the millennial arm of the Hemsley 

health-food empire that also includes 

older sister Jasmine. With two bestselling 

cookbooks, a TV show, their own product 

range (which includes a spiraliser, 

naturally) and a UK tour, they are almost 

certainly the only reason your dad has 

ever heard of a green smoothie. 

Andreja Pejić 

Age: 24 Nationality: Australian 

Who: The woman who diversifies fashion. 

Being a political refugee at the age of 

eight, fleeing Bosnia-Herzegovina with 

her family, Pejić learned all about adversity. 

So when she transitioned from boy to 

gender-neutral, and finally to trans woman, 

she was already a pro at succeeding where 

others had not. She’s been the muse of 

Jean-Paul Gaultier and Marc Jacobs and 

personified the gender-fluid movement, 

having modelled both male and female looks 

before her gender reassignment surgery. 

She’s also the first trans model with a major 

make-up deal, as the face of Make Up Forever. 

COSMOPOLITAN · 107

READ 

Maisie Williams 


Who: Hollywood’s most ballsy leading lady. 

Yes, being on the biggest TV show on the planet, Game Of Thrones, 

may have launched Williams’ profile, but it’s her straight-talking, no-shit 

attitude that’s got her 3.6 million followers on Instagram, 1.4 million on 

Twitter and two million on Facebook. She’s never afraid to tell it how it is; 

past quotes include, “I don’t wanna be liked just because I’m pretty. That’s 

f**king boring.” That, her YouTube channel (355,000 subscribers), and 

tireless charity work with the likes of the NSPCC, anti-bullying campaigns 

and Syrian refugees, means she’s pretty much the most badass woman to 

grace the red carpet since Vanessa Redgrave. 

NADYA TOLOKONNIKOVA 

Age: 26 Nationality: Russian 

Who: The woman trying to take down Putin. 

As a member of anti-government punk-rock band Pussy Riot, 

Tolokonnikova became a political prisoner, sentenced to two years for 

‘hooliganism’ (otherwise known as a protest performance mocking Putin) 

in 2012. In prison, she and her bandmates went on a hunger strike and 

wrote letters describing “slave-like conditions”, shared more than 50,000 

times online. These later 

became a book, Comradely 

Greetings, cementing her 

campaign against the state. 

With the help of Amnesty 

International, Putin caved 

in to public demand for 

their early release. She’s 

since had a cameo on 

House Of Cards, where she 

mocked a very Putin-like 

Russian figure. She’s also 

set up a prison-reform 

project and launched a 

news agency, MediaZona, 

to spread her message. 

Nujood 

Ali 

Age: 18 

Nationality: Yemeni 

Who: The woman 

putting an end to 

child marriage. 

Would you have had 

the courage to stand 

up to a violent rapist 

when you were only 

10 years old? Ali did 

just that, turning up 

alone in a courthouse 

in Yemen to request 

a divorce from a man 

she was forced to 

marry when she 

was only nine. Now 

a teenager, she still 

actively campaigns 

to end child marriage 

(most recently, that 

of her own sister) 

and has inspired 

thousands of girls 

– including an 

eight-year-old Saudi 

married to a man in 

his 50s – to demand 

annulments and 

divorces. Hillary 

Clinton called Ali 

“one of the greatest 

women I have ever 

seen.” We’re inclined 

to agree. 

ZOE SUGG 


Who: The influencers’ influencer. 

Our cover girl might not be the first 

woman to give make-up tutorials 

and chronicle her life through a 

‘confessional’ blog, but she sure 

is the most successful. Her ability 

to speak to young women (mainly 

those between 13 and 17 years old) 

has made her a Mecca for big-name 

brands. If Zoella endorses it, it sells. 

The fact that she has attracted 

more followers on Instagram than 

Barack Obama probably has something 

to do with that… Her appeal and 

influence run deeper than her huge 

social following, however. She’s 

seen as a tasteful and wholesome 

role model for young women, in 

a world where sometimes these 

are few and far between. 

108 · COSMOPOLITAN

MISTY COPELAND 


Who: The ballet dancer breaking 

the mould. 

As the first black female principal 

dancer at the prestigious American 

Ballet Theatre, Copeland has 

made a career out of smashing 

perceptions. Despite her humble 

beginnings, she has become one 

of the most iconic dancers of 

a generation. Prince saw her as 

a muse; Obama appointed her to 

the President’s Council On Fitness, 

Sports & Nutrition; award-winning 

choreographers have created 

ballets especially for her; and she 

has co-authored a children’s book. 

Copeland is changing perceptions 

about race and gender in ballet, 

but also body image – praised for 

her raw strength and power, rather 

than the waif-like fragility usually 

seen in the industry.

READ 

Saran Kaba Jones 

Age: 34 Nationality: Liberian 

Who: The woman saving the planet. 

Already seen as a leader of the future, Kaba Jones set up 

the award-winning social enterprise FACE Africa, which helps to 

provide clean water to villages 

in rural sub-Saharan Africa. She 

has raised more than £500,000 

to fund FACE projects in Liberia, 

directly helping more than 

25,000 people. The organisation 

also played a huge part in 

recent Ebola response efforts. 

Impressed? You should be. 

DINA ASHER-SMITH 


Who: The fastest woman in the UK. 

Maybe you caught her (not literally, good luck with that) at this 

summer’s Olympic Games, where she represented Britain in the 200 

metres and relay, bagging herself a bronze medal. But Asher-Smith 

isn’t merely the first British woman to ever go below 11 seconds for 

the 100 metres. As a historian, studying at King’s College London, 

she’s helping to raise the profile of women in sport. 

Emma Watson 


Who: The actor making gender equality 

everybody’s issue. 

Yes, yes, she used to wave a wand around, but 

soon no one will even remember that. After 

Watson’s appointment as UN Women Goodwill 

Ambassador in 2014, she spoke at the United 

Nations launching the HeForShe campaign, 

which encourages men to call themselves 

feminists. It’s been viewed two million times 

on YouTube, and since then – besides getting 

an English degree, acting, and modelling for 

Burberry and Lancôme – Watson has started 

a feminist book club, Our Shared Shelf, rallying 

her 13.7 million Instagram followers to join. 

KATHRYN 

PARSONS 

Age: 34 

Nationality: British 

Who: The 

entrepreneur making 

tech accessible. 

A tech entrepreneur 

with bite, Parsons 

co-founded 

Decoded, a London 

company aiming 

to increase digital 

literacy. Its promise? 

Anyone can learn 

to code in a day. 

With offices in New 

York, London, Sydney 

and Amsterdam, 

Parsons has taught 

thousands of people 

from companies 

such as Google, 

eBay, and Facebook 

the language 

of computers. She 

also champions 

the idea of putting 

code on the 

school curriculum. 

Zucker-who’sthat-now? 

Michelle Phan 


Who: The ultimate selfie-made woman. 

Born to Vietnamese refugees, Phan has grafted her way from waitress 

to media millionaire. First came her YouTube channel, where her 

beauty tutorials have garnered her almost nine million subscribers, 

alongside her 2.2 million Instagram followers. Next, she went into 

direct sales, co-founding the 

beauty-sample subscription 

service Ipsy (now worth 

a reported $500 million). 

Now she organises the regular 

industry-leading conference 

Generation Beauty, has her 

own make-up range with 

L’Oréal, and last year launched 

her own lifestyle platform, 

Icon. Her Los Angeles studios 

run a free programme to 

upskill the next generation 

of beauty and style vloggers. 

COSMOPOLITAN · 111

READ 

SHARMADEAN REID 


Who: The millennial Evelyn Lauder. 

Originally from Wolverhampton, Reid initially started Wah as a fanzine in London 

discussing music, fashion and how to be a street-smart feminist. It was so popular that 

in 2009 she used her savings to open Wah Nails, a salon that also hosted jumble sales, 

parties and film nights. The salon was so successful, its services were soon in demand 

at London Fashion Week, and for collaborations with brands including Nike, Marc Jacobs 

and Diesel. Now Reid’s brand is available globally, and she’s seen as a mentor and beauty 

mogul who inspires other budding British entrepreneurs. 

Priyanka 

Chopra 

Age: 34 Nationality: Indian 

Who: India’s fairy godmother. 

Actress, singer, philanthropist, 

Miss World 2000, one of 

Bollywood’s highest-paid 

actresses, a UNICEF Goodwill 

Ambassador working for children’s rights since 2010… And if you’re 

worried she’s resting on her laurels, Chopra also uses her 15 million 

Twitter followers to campaign for gender equality – particularly in her 

native India, where she launched The Priyanka Chopra Foundation For 

Health And Education, helping underprivileged children. She donates 

10% of her earnings (she’s thought to be worth around $8 million) to 

the foundation, which pays for the education and medical expenses of 

70 children – 50 of them girls. 

JENNA 

MARBLES 

Age: 30 

Nationality: 

American 

Who: The woman 

reinventing comedy. 

Thought Amy 

Schumer invented 

self-deprecating 

humour that poked 

fun at the darkest, 

most ridiculous parts 

of being a woman? 

Think again. Jenna 

Marbles (real name 

Jenna Mourey) has 

made a name (and 

a comedic genre) 

out of her satirical 

character skits. 

She has four million 

Twitter followers, 

16 million YouTube 

subscribers and 

two billion (yes, you 

read that correctly) 

total video views. 

A recent clip of her 

applying 100 layers 

of make-up over 

seven hours went 

viral to the tune 

of 10 million in 

just two weeks. 

Laura Bates 


Who: The voice of feminism’s fourth wave. 

Originally an actress, Bates decided to call 

time on the sexist abuse she faced daily 

by starting The Everyday Sexism Project. 

A platform that encourages women to 

share their experiences of harassment, 

it began in 2012 and has collected well over 

100,000 entries. As well as touring and 

campaigning, she’s also written two books, 

Everyday Sexism and Girl Up. Her TEDx 

talk, entitled – you guessed it – Everyday 

Sexism has had over half a million views, 

and she was recently called upon by the 

House of Commons to give evidence about 

sexual harassment in schools. Definitely 

a woman you’d want in your corner. 

JESSICA WILSON 

Age: 24 Nationality: Australian 

Who: The new-gen retail mogul. 

Co-founder of Stashd, the ‘Tinder for 

fashion’ app where you judge items 

by swiping left or right, then review your 

‘stash’, Wilson has changed the way we 

shop in 2016. With users in 136 countries 

and over a million garments ‘stashd’, 

Wilson proves there is life for techies 

outside Silicon Valley. She also campaigns 

to get more women into the industry. 

If you hear the phrase ‘virtual wardrobe’ 

a lot this year, she’s the reason why. ◆ 

WORDS LUCY VINE. PHOTOGRAPHS TRUNKARCHIVE.COM, FELIX CLAY/EYEVINE, REX FEATURES, GETTY IMAGES, JOE SHEFFER, BEN RIGGOTT, REGAN CAMERON, 

RAY BURMISTON, CONTOUR BY GETTY IMAGES, CAMERA PRESS/LAURA PENNACK, CAMERA PRESS, PEROU, SAM PEACH 

112 · COSMOPOLITAN

COSMOPOLITAN PROMOTION 

EVERY 

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eveningwear for day; dresses with trainers. And if you want to 

be fluent in autumn street style, Simply Be is your place. With 

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The new social 

media superstars 

W I T H 

Your nominations 

have flooded in for 

the Cosmopolitan 

Influencer Awards, 

in partnership with 

Blossom Hill, and 

the decision is in 

the judges’ hands. 

Oh, and yours… 

Big up your 

favourite bloggers 

PHOTOGRAPH GETTY IMAGES. *MUST HAVE STARTED AFTER SEPTEMBER 2015 

W 

ant to know 

who the next 

Instagram star, 

cult vlogger or 

game-changing blogger is? 

Perhaps it’s you, and you’re 

producing winning content your 

followers love. You could be one 

of the lucky few shortlisted from 

thousands of nominations for the 

Cosmopolitan Influencer Awards, in 

partnership with Blossom Hill. Thanks 

for the entries, and stay tuned 

for the winners, who’ll 

be crowned at a London 

awards ceremony on 

3rd November. 

Have you tried 

Blossom Hill 

Fruit Bloom? 

A fruity twist 

on wine with 

light bubbles, 

it’s the ultimate 

refreshment! 

Voting starts… 

now! 

There’s only one month to go 

before we reveal who’s won 

in the following categories: 

THE BLOSSOM HILL 

INFLUENCER’S CHOICE AWARD 

BEST NEWCOMER* 

IN ASSOCIATION WITH OGX 

BEST LIFESTYLE INFLUENCER 

BEST HEALTH & WELLBEING 

INFLUENCER 

BEST SEX & RELATIONSHIPS 

INFLUENCER 

BEST FASHION INFLUENCER 

BEST BEAUTY INFLUENCER 

BEST VLOGGER 

BEST USE OF SOCIAL MEDIA 

You can decide 

Most of the awards will be decided 

by a panel of judges, but The 

Blossom Hill Influencer’s Choice 

Award is where you get to have 

your say. Vote at Cosmopolitan. 

co.uk/influencerschoice2016 

and be in with the chance to win 

a London experience, plus two 

tickets for the Influencer Awards. 

CATEGORY 

ASSOCIATION 

W I T H 

CONTENT OF THE YEAR 

COSMOPOLITAN · 115

Group A 

XXXXXXXXX 

Leftoutint

Group B 

READ 

he cold 

COSMOPOLITAN 

Group A and Group B turn 

up to a club. Only one 

group gets in. Ade Onibada 

investigates the racism that 

reaches right to the top of 

the UK nightlife scene 

· 117

‘N 

ot tonight, girls, 

yeah? Do you mind 

stepping aside?” 

I’m standing on the 

wrong side of a velvet 

rope, in stiletto heels 

that were not designed 

for the 45 minutes I’ve 

just spent in line. My 

two friends flank me on either side. 

We have spent hours getting ready, 

pouring ourselves into body-con 

dresses and meticulously applying the 

make-up required for a club such as 

this one. We are sober, polite, have 

money in our purses and, up until 

a few minutes ago, were ready to party. 

But before we’ve even had time to 

argue our case, we’re quickly ushered 

away by a slim brunette woman, 

possibly only a few years older than 

my friends and I. She wields a 

clipboard on which, had she checked, 

she would have found our names. 

Behind us, a group of Caucasian 

women slip silently inside the club. 

“Hey, why don’t you split your group 

up?” It is the bouncer, who leans over 

sympathetically.“Come back in a bit, 

separately. Then you might get in.” 

We understand the implication. 

It is, sadly, a phrase that myself and 

many young black men and women 

across the country know all too well. 

When you are black, as we are, you 

get to know certain things, such as 

that interspersing your group with 

white or mixed-race partygoers gives 

you a much better chance of getting 

inside a club. Some of us regularly 

adopt tactics like these, the lure of 

a good night out being too great to 

worry about door policies. Others, like 

me, avoid them completely. Standing 

here, humiliated at 11:20pm on a 

Saturday night, I am reminded why. 

It’s more than 50 years since the 

Race Relations Act was passed in the 

UK, outlawing racial discrimination 

against any minority. That means the 

racism that my parents’ generation 

faced should, in theory, not be felt 

by me and my peers. And yet… 

Saschan, Ade and 

Feyisola know they 

are being judged 

on more than just 

their outfits 

I work in the newsroom of The 

Voice, the nation’s oldest weekly paper 

for the black community. Each week 

we are inundated with people 

claiming they’ve been the victims of 

some of the worst displays of racism, 

and high up on the list are Britain’s 

nightclubs. A recent 

survey of The Voice’s 

readers found nearly 

40% have been denied 

entry into a UK nightclub, 

with many believing it 

was because of their race. 

Of course, assumptions 

like this are easy to make 

and difficult to prove; it’s 

a ‘feeling’ that the colour 

of your skin doesn’t fit. 

“It’s a ‘feeling’ 

that the colour 

of your skin 

doesn’t fit” 

It’s hard to make that stick, yet the 

claims continue to be made. 

In December 2014, blogger Fisayo 

Longe wrote about being turned away 

from Libertine, a club beloved of 

Premiership footballers in central 

London, saying she was told it was 

“maybe because you’re 

black…” Libertine deny 

this incident took place. 

Ten months later, Jess 

Gregory and 10 friends 

were turned away from 

Bambu in Birmingham, 

despite making a 

booking, claiming they 

were told by a member 

of staff it was because 

“groups of black people 

118 · COSMOPOLITAN

READ 

weren’t let in”. The club strenuously 

denied this. This year, Anton Rice, 24, 

was rejected from Bar & Beyond, 

Stevenage, for not being dressed 

smartly enough – but snapped a photo 

of himself beside a white friend, in a 

near-identical outfit, who was granted 

entry. Bar & Beyond apologised but 

rejected claims they were racist. And 

in May, Kosi Orah secretly filmed an 

exchange he had outside Ghost in 

Leicester, in which the security guard 

can clearly be heard saying the group 

was turned away because of their race. 

Ghost suspended the bouncer and 

went on to say its policy is not to deny 

anyone entry based on skin colour. 

The most high-profile case, however, 

was in September last year. A two-day 

protest attended by hundreds took 

place outside Dstrkt in London, after 

blogger Lin Mei, 29, and her friends 

claimed they were turned away from 

the door and told it was because 

the group were “too dark” and 

“overweight”. She then posted 

screengrabs of messages she received 

from a promoter, whose job it is to fill 

the club, who stated, “I really care 

about the white crowd… [it] is the 

black crowd which is the concern.” The 

club vehemently denied the allegations, 

issuing a statement that the women 

were turned away because they had no 

booking and the club was at capacity. 

All of this is sadly familiar to me. 

Nights out at certain bars and clubs 

– you know, the types of places that 

have overpriced bottles of spirits, 

roped-off VIP areas and a sprinkling 

of reality stars and B-division sport 

stars inside – tend to require a degree 

of planning. You can find them in 

London’s West End, Edinburgh’s 

George Street and Geordie Shore 

favourite The Diamond Strip, 

Newcastle. And they can be a lot of 

fun, but to guarantee entry you need 

to contact the club beforehand, usually 

through a promoter or their socialmedia 

pages, in order to get on a guest 

list. Generally, this is a smart way of 

vetting customers – an easy way of 

keeping the right crowd ‘in’ and the 

wrong one ‘out’. But things can slip. 

Patricia*, a 29-year-old civil servant, 

thinks she witnessed this first-hand 

when she was recently turned away 

from W Hotel in London. “My 

friends were already inside, it was a 

friend’s birthday and we had booked 

a table,” she says. “The bouncer had 

said it was fine for us to come in, but 

then a lady with a clipboard arrived 

and said we’d have to wait an hour 

before coming inside.” What’s more, 

a largely white group – with no 

booking – were let in immediately 

after Patricia and her friends were 

turned away. She went home, but later, 

after questioning the bouncer, one of 

her friends was told that the hotel 

had a ‘quota’ and that they only let 

a certain number of black people 

in. When I contacted W Hotels, the 

company was keen to point out that 

it welcomed all cultures, and that it 

was investigating the incident. It also 

strenuously denied any such quota and 

was keen to point out it had refreshed 

all its staff on their diversity policy. 

Still, whispers of these so-called 

‘quotas’ persist. Promoter turned club 

owner Gabriel Ayo-Ojo tells me that, 

from his experience, tokenism plays 

a part – with clubs letting in a small 

number of those from different races 

in order to cover their backs when 

questioned. “That way, someone can 

say, ‘They can’t be racist, I was there 

last week,’ but they didn’t see all the 

COSMOPOLITAN · 119

other people being turned away at 

the door,” he says. Of course, quotas 

are strenuously denied by club 

owners and managers – so do they 

really exist? Georgina*, a former door 

girl at some of London’s premier 

clubs, says that while no specific 

numbers were ever mentioned in the 

places she worked, she was told the 

clubs had a specific ‘look’. “I would 

get told, ‘Keep the number of Asians 

down, keep the number of blacks 

down,’” she tells me. “Then the club 

would reach a certain point and it 

would be, ‘That’s it, no more black 

people,’ so I’d have to turn people 

away. My boss would always be 

watching the queue on CCTV and 

would be chatting away in my ear, 

saying, ‘That group of girls aren’t 

allowed in, they’re too ugly. That 

group of men is too black.’ And I had 

to listen – otherwise I’d lose my job.” 

Dave,* who has worked as a bouncer 

for 25 years across the country, confirms 

this. “I have been in situations where 

we’re being told by the managers not 

to let too many black people in,” he 

says. “It’s not just the upmarket clubs 

– pubs and student places operate like 

this too. It’s rarely the bouncers who 

are racist, it’s almost always the 

owners. They have stupid ideas of 

what certain races will behave like.” 

“With black men it’s violence,” adds 

Georgina, when quizzed. “With Asian 

people it’s because they think they 

won’t spend, while with black 

women it’s because they think that 

men won’t want to buy them drinks. 

You could let a totally averagelooking 

blonde in and it would be 

fine, but in order to let a dark-skinned 

woman in, she’d have to be out-ofthis-world 

stunning.” 

It’s here that racism meets misogyny. 

Are you the kind of woman men want 

to spend money on? In today’s 

society, where all of last year’s FHM 

top 10 sexiest women in the world are 

white (and there are just seven out of 

the 100 who are black or mixed-race), 

dark-skinned women just don’t seem 

Ade – all dressed 

up and nowhere to go 

to fit into the ideal. “At the end of the 

night, I would pay the promoters on 

the calibre of girl they brought into 

the club,” explains Georgina. “It would 

be £10 for a stunning girl, £5 for an 

average girl, and for those who weren’t 

attractive, they wouldn’t be paid. For 

my managers the perfect club was 

60% rich men, 40% beautiful women 

– and in their minds, 

beautiful meant slim, tall 

and white. Or mixedrace. 

A mixed-race girl 

was seen as worth more 

than a beautiful blonde.” 

This policy of literally 

putting prices on 

women’s heads was 

playing out at Dstrkt the 

night that Lin Mei and 

her group were being 

“To let a darkskinned 

woman 

in, she’d have 

to be stunning” 

turned away from the door. Brooke 

Norton, 19, who used to promote for 

the club, had brought along a group 

of black friends. “Usually, when there 

were people on my guest list, they 

wouldn’t have to pay,” she explains. 

“But on this occasion, we arrived and 

they had to pay £10. Once inside, my 

manager pulled me aside and said, 

‘They’re not going to 

pay you for the girls 

you’ve brought,’ and 

then later I was told not 

to bring ‘so many black 

girls next time”.” The next 

morning, Brooke posted 

an Instagram video of 

her experiences, and quit 

promoting for the club. 

So has Dstrkt’s policy 

changed? It’s been 

120 · COSMOPOLITAN

READ 

PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. ADDITIONAL REPORTING BY CATRIONA INNES. 

*NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED. †SURVEY BY ACCOMMODATIONFORSTUDENTS.COM. 

HAIR AND MAKE-UP SUSANA MOTA, ASSISTED BY MEGAN KORIAT 

almost a year now, and I am keen to 

see whether any of the negative 

feedback has made an impact at all. 

As I head along to see for myself, it 

becomes clear that the club’s 

reputation has taken a serious dent. 

“Don’t waste your time going there 

love, they don’t let our kind in,” warns 

one Asian promoter when I tell him 

where I am headed. 

But on this particular night, if there 

is a test, we appear to pass it and are 

let in – with a quick hand gesture 

from Daniel Thomas, the very 

promoter who was central to the 

scandal last year, and whose list we 

are coincidentally on. We pay a £20 

entrance fee each and get chatting to 

two blonde women, also on Thomas’ 

list. We learn that they weren’t 

charged to enter and, as regulars of 

the club, both are completely 

adamant that we shouldn’t have 

been either. But Dstrkt pointed out 

afterwards that entry is subject to 

availability – and some regulars do 

get let in for free. 

Online reviews for nightclubs 

across the country do little to dispel 

the notion that discriminate door 

policies exist. Jessica Gregory, 22, from 

Sheffield, was one of the many who 

complained on the Facebook page of 

nightclub The Viper Rooms that it 

operated a racist door policy. When 

I spoke to her, she explained that 

recently she had been allowed in, but 

her two Asian friends weren’t – 

despite none of them being drunk, 

and all dressed smartly. Similarly, the 

majority of The Space in Leeds’ 

online one- or two-star reviews (a 

place which, incidentally, has been 

voted the second-worst nightclub in 

the UK † ) mention racism. Julia* was 

one of the reviewers and told me that 

while her and her white male friend 

were granted entry, her three black 

friends behind them weren’t. When 

she questioned why, the bouncer 

simply pointed at his black mate and 

said, “We can’t be racist because he 

works here.” Both The Space and The 

Viper Rooms denied these claims, 

while London’s Libertine, another 

club that has been accused, was keen 

to let me know that it does welcome a 

multicultural crowd and that because 

it operates a photo-ID policy, it can 

verify this; any past incidences were 

down to a huge number of reasons. 

And herein lies the issue. Despite 

countless anecdotal evidence 

pointing to a problem, very little can 

be done to prove that, on most 

reported occasions, the decision came 

down to race. Clubs reserve the right 

to deny entry to whoever they choose. 

And often this will be in the best 

interests of the club: dress codes, 

someone being too drunk, a customer 

behaving aggressively… But these 

excuses can also be used when it does 

fall down to the colour of a customer’s 

skin. And with the owners and 

managers often completely refusing 

to acknowledge that it’s happening, 

what can be done to stop it 

happening again and again? 

At The Voice, whenever we report 

on this issue, we always get the same 

feedback from readers: just don’t go to 

these clubs, and instead support the 

places where everyone is welcomed. 

But does it work? I visited Bambu in 

Birmingham, where, as well as the 

reported incident with Jess Gregory, 

the nightclub also made headlines 

after it told a job applicant – via 

Facebook – “we need less Afro- 

Caribbean staff”. Friends of mine who 

live in Birmingham say there’s an 

unofficial boycott of Bambu in place 

– and when I visited, late on a Saturday 

night, we found it was almost empty, 

whereas nearby Nuvo was pumping 

with groups of black customers 

ordering bottles of champagne. 

It seems that in some places speaking 

out has made a difference. But in order 

for these policies to change, we need 

to look at why the owners made them 

in the first place. Problems seem to 

trickle down from ethnic stereotyping. 

It’s rare to see a TV show about the 

black community that doesn’t involve 

violence or gang culture in some way, 

and our catwalks are full of beautiful 

white women – with the odd exception. 

Clearly, we still have a lot of work to 

do when it comes to challenging racial 

stereotypes. Only then can everyone 

have a great night out. ◆ 

BEHIND THE 

SCENES 

AdeOnibada 

“I witnessed some 

outrageous displays 

of wealth in London’s 

upmarket clubs where bottle service and 

a deposit on a house aren’t too dissimilar 

in price. But that’s not what disturbed me 

most. It’s more that the black women who 

do get into these clubs are often fetishised. 

One Caucasian man requested to mix his 

‘ivory with my ebony’ – gross.” 

COSMOPOLITAN · 121

TV STAR. 

MOTHER. 

ALCOHOLIC 

Elizabeth Vargas was one of the US’s most famous news anchors – a household 

name who, on the surface, had it all. But behind the cameras, she risked her job, 

her marriage and ultimately her life, all for the sake of just one more drink 

122 · COSMOPOLITAN

READ 

CLOCKWISE FROM 

FAR LEFT: Elizabeth 

Vargas co-hosting 

ABC News in 2008; 

today; with George 

W Bush at the White 

House; with Keira 

Knightley on Good 

Morning America

it was 3am when I woke up. 

I was in a small room, 

lying on a metal trolley, 

wearing nothing but a 

blue hospital gown. I had 

no idea where I was, where 

my clothes were or how 

I got there. 

It was only when 

I spotted a nurse sitting 

outside the room that 

I discovered the truth: I was 

in A&E, rushed there with 

an alcohol reading of 0.4 

– a level that’s usually fatal. 

Slowly, painfully, the 

events of the previous day 

started coming back to me. 

I anchored America’s leading news 

magazine programmme, ABC’s 20/20, 

where I was watched by millions of 

viewers. On the way into work that 

day I’d asked my driver to pull over, 

pretending I was going to the 

chemist. Instead I’d gone to the 

liquor store, bought a bottle of white 

wine and hidden it in my handbag 

for later. That evening after filming, 

I went into a side room, opened the 

bottle and started drinking. The last 

thing I remember is getting into the 

car that was meant to be taking me 

home and then… blackout. 

It took others to fill in the gaps: 

how I’d somehow ended up in a park 

on New York’s Upper West Side. How 

a female passer-by spotted me, clearly 

drunk, as two sketchy-looking men 

loitered around me. She drove me 

home, but by the time we arrived 

I was unconscious. As the doorman 

frantically called an ambulance, my 

then-husband Marc could only stand 

by helplessly and watch me breathe, 

terrified that at any moment I’d stop. 

To the outside world, I was a 

high-flying professional woman at 

the top of her game. I’ve always been 

incredibly disciplined in every aspect of 

my life – I still am. I work out almost 

every day, I eat healthily, and I never, 

ever show up for a shoot unprepared. 

I’ve reported the news to millions of 

people for many years and was the 

news anchor of one of America’s 

biggest morning shows. Yet behind 

it all, life hasn’t always been easy. 

When I was young, my father 

was in the army and often away 

from home. I suffered from acute 

separation anxiety and from 

the age of six had panic 

attacks almost every day. 

Moving house regularly, 

as well as being bullied 

in my teens, made 

things worse. 

I decided early on 

that I wanted to be 

a journalist, and that 

period of my life – 

going to college and 

working in local TV – 

“On the morning 

of 9/11, I’d been 

drinking for 

six hours” 

was exciting, even as I navigated 

the brutally competitive world 

of television news. Like most 

twentysomethings, I drank, 

unwinding with friends and 

colleagues after work, toasting our 

success on that day’s broadcasts. 

But my anxiety and insecurity were 

always there, hidden. 

And wine helped soften 

their edges. 

I wasn’t drinking 

excessively at this point 

– that didn’t start until 

many years later, but 

I did find comfort 

in a glass of wine 

every night. 

I rose swiftly in my 

career and in 1996, aged 

124 · COSMOPOLITAN

READ 

34, I joined one of the leading 

breakfast shows, Good Morning 

America. At this stage, my after-work 

glass of wine habit all but stopped – 

you can’t drink when you have a 4am 

alarm call. Instead, to quieten 

my anxiety, I replaced alcohol 

with two gym visits a day. 

You have to have a tough skin 

in this business – and I did not. 

From the minute I started, there 

were rumours I had been brought 

in to replace one of the show’s 

co-hosts and the team wasn’t happy. 

Over the months that followed, the 

resentment escalated: someone taped 

a paper with the word ‘bitch’ on it 

to my chair, and soon unflattering 

stories about me were being leaked 

to magazines. The problem is, I’ve 

Vargas interviewing 

President George W Bush 

in 2006. Her drinking was 

already an issue. RIGHT: 

Co-hosting 20/20 in 2013 

always believed the bullies. When 

you’re that insecure, you don’t have 

the inner barometer that tells you 

what’s true. Instead, a constant voice 

in my head told me I wasn’t good 

enough to be there. 

And then in 1997, after 18 months 

in the job, my bosses confirmed 

what I believed – I was moved to 

20/20 and Primetime Live instead 

of being named co-anchor of Good 

Morning America. And that’s when 

everything changed. 

I started drinking privately in 

a way I’d never drunk before: 

Martinis at home, followed by 

wine over dinner, then nightcaps 

until the small hours. Still, no one 

noticed. I was an expert at keeping 

alcohol’s effects well hidden. 

Over time, one glass of wine at 

the end of the day had turned into 

two. Then three. Before long I was 

absolutely out of control. I went from 

using alcohol as a crutch to deal with 

the stress, anxiety and insecurity I felt 

at work, to it controlling me. 

There were close calls, of course. 

With an addiction, there always is. 

Like the morning of the 9/11 terror 

attacks. I’d been out to a film 

premiere and party the night before, 

and by the time I eventually went 

to bed at 2am on 11th September, 

I’d been drinking steadily for six 

long hours. Rushing into the studio 

that morning, I was dry-mouthed, 

swollen-eyed and with the tell-tale 

sign of the alcoholic: shaking hands. 

No amount of water or energy 

drinks could help. 

The following year I met Marc. 

He was the first person to ever 

challenge me about my drinking. 

About a year into our relationship, 

we went out for dinner. I’d had 

a few glasses of wine and when 

we got home he poured me a 

nightcap… and when I poured 

myself another (because one was 

never enough), he said, “Elizabeth, 

I think you drink too much.” 

I knew that he was right. For the 

next five years, I managed to cut 

back. Marc and I got married. We 

had two children and for a while 

things were good. Then I was 

demoted at work. I started drinking 

on the job. Cracks began to appear 

in our marriage. I tried to smooth 

COSMOPOLITAN · 125

READ 

them over in the only way I knew 

how: by drinking. 

Out with friends, I’d secretly order 

myself a second glass while they were 

sipping their first. Goingfor dinner, 

I’d be more focused on the wine 

waiter than the conversation at the 

table, anxiously wondering when 

he was going to refill my glass. If 

I hadn’t drunk enough at dinner I’d 

go home and continue into the night. 

And yet… friends thought other 

women in our group were the ones 

with the drinking problem. They 

were the ones who had to be carried 

out of bars and restaurants. 

That never happened to me. I started 

to lie, too. At home, I’d say I was 

going to the shop or running errands, 

but instead sneak to a bar, returning 

home sucking a breath mint. I would 

drink alone at bars, stopping for 

a glass of wine on my way home – 

pretending to call friends so that no 

one would think I was alone. I’d even 

started drinking bottles of white wine 

out of plastic cups in the bathroom 

so Marc wouldn’t see me. 

But slowly, alcohol started to make 

itself known. I looked puffy, exhausted 

and shaky. The mask was starting 

to slip at work, too. On a work trip 

in India in 2011, I drank every night. 

I’m sure the producer and crew must 

have known from the way I looked 

the next day, but no one said a word. 

I watched the programme again a few 

weeks ago and it was painful to see. 

I look awful. Hungover. 

The defining moment, though, was 

when I drank so much on a family 

holiday in 2012 that I got sick. By day 

three I had drunk everything in the 

minibar and spent most of my time 

lying in a darkened room. My sons 

would run in and ask why Mummy 

was still sleeping. 

Back home I finally acknowledged 

I had a problem and checked myself 

into rehab. I went to rehab twice more 

before the news of my addiction 

finally came out. You can’t be absent 

from a role on TV for long periods 

With husband 

Marc Cohn in 

2013. The couple 

separated that 

same year 

without people asking questions. 

Yet in many ways I was relieved. 

As the press ran reports about my 

drinking, people around me were 

stunned. I did an interview with 

ABC News anchor Diane Sawyer 

recently. She said no one could 

believe I was an alcoholic, describing 

me as the coolest presenter on 

television and asked, “How on earth 

were you battling all this?” 

I’m sober now, happy, and have 

two amazing boys who love me and 

are proud that I fought this disease. 

Because that’s what it is: a disease. 

For most diseases, you see a doctor, 

get help. But alcoholism is different. 

Shame and embarrassment can keep 

you fighting it alone for a very long 

time. Now, though, I see that only 

by talking about something can you 

really make sure you’re never alone. ◆ 

Between Breaths: A Memoir Of Panic 

And Addiction by Elizabeth Vargas 

(Grand Central, £20.99) is out now 

BEHIND THE 

SCENES 

Louisa Pritchard 

“It was evident from talking 

to Elizabeth that, while 

she has been through hell 

and back in her battle with alcoholism, she 

is determined that some good should come 

from it. She told me she is often stopped in 

the street by strangers who say, ‘Thank you 

for speaking out. I’m an alcoholic too and 

your words helped me.’ If that’s not a reason 

to share your story, I don’t know what is…” 

Too much bottle 

Where’s the line between ‘just 

one glass’ and ‘glass constantly 

needs filling’? Sarah Allen Benton*, 

a mental-health counsellor 

specialising in addiction, reveals the 

warning signs that could mean your 

habit is veering towards addiction. 

1 

You can still nail your 

presentation with 

a hangover from hell 

“One of the greatest challenges that 

high-functioning alcoholics face is 

that their drinking may not negatively 

impact their work performance, which 

allows them to believe they don’t have 

an addiction,” says Benton. If you’ve 

had a bottle of wine (and then some) 

the night before and still pulled off an 

awesome meeting, you’re probably 

feeling pretty invincible, which is 

pretty dangerous. 

2 

You can’t stop 

thinking about that 

next glass of wine 

You can’t have a drink problem 

because you don’t really drink that 

much. Sound familiar? According to 

Benton, it’s not always about how 

much you drink but how much you 

are thinking about drinking. Which 

means if you’re obsessing about 

your next G&T when you’re checking 

your emails after lunch, it could be 

time to get help. 

3 

You look great, so 

you can’t have a drink 

problem, right? 

You’ve got a killer wardrobe, you 

go to the gym. Alcoholics don’t go to 

the gym, do they? According to Benton, 

many addicts are in denial because 

they feel they don’t fit the stereotypical 

image of an alcoholic. But even if 

you don’t look like your idea of an 

alcoholic, can you remember the last 

night you didn’t want a drink? 

✱ If you are concerned about your 

drinking, contact Alcoholics 

Anonymous (Alcoholics-anonymous. 

org.uk) or see your doctor. 

*SARAH ALLEN BENTON IS THE AUTHOR OF UNDERSTANDING THE HIGH-FUNCTIONING ALCOHOLIC (HIGHFUNCTIONINGALCOHOLIC.COM/CONTENT). 

AS TOLD TO LOUISA PRITCHARD. PHOTOGRAPHS DUSTIN COHEN, GETTY IMAGES, WHITE HOUSE PHOTO BY ERIC DRAPER, ABC/DONNA SVENNEVIK 

126 · COSMOPOLITAN

Suit YOURSELF 

Here’s how to wear tailoring if you’re more easy rider than city slicker. These 

relaxed shapes will take you from 10am meeting to a night of unbridled fun 

F A S H I O N D I R E C T O R Amy Bannerman 

P H O T O G R A P H E R Kate Davis-Macleod

This page: White 

jacket, £249; white 

trousers, £156, both 

Hebe. Silver rollneck, 

£175, Fleur B. Rose 

gold boots, £626, 

Camilla Elphick. 

Opposite: Dress, 

£890, Kenzo 

129

This page: Black jacket, 

£680; black trousers, 

£380, both Bella Freud. 

Pyjama bottoms (worn 

underneath), £350 for 

set, Olivia von Halle. 

Black necktie, £120, Paul 

& Joe. Brooch, £12, Jon 

Richard. Black patent 

boots, £550, Coach. 

Opposite: Jacket, £110; 

trousers, £85, both Laura 

Ashley. Shirt, £255, 

Ashley Williams. Boots, 

£85, Urban Outfitters

131

Jacket, £199; trousers, 

£169, both Baum Und 

Pferdgarten. Shirt, 

£35, Archive by Alexa 

for M&S. Earrings, 

£74, Swarovski 

133

This page: Coat, £4,440; 

trousers, £3,050; boots, 

£1,480, all Chanel. 

Opposite: Multicoloured 

jacket, £485, Paul & Joe. 

Cream shirt, £350, Coach 

135

This page: Coat, £915, 

DKNY. Top, £325; trousers, 

£379, both Rejina Pyo. 

Boots, £550, Coach. 

Opposite: Shirt, £610; 

trousers, £400, both 

Mulberry. Little finger, from 

top: ring, stylist’s own; 

ring, £39, Swarovski. Other 

rings, from £30, all Pandora 

Model Angelica Alves at 

Storm. Hair Fabio Nogueira 

at Frank Agency, using Milk 

+ Blush clip-in hair 

extensions. Make-up 

Michelle Dacillo, using 

Urban Decay and Caudalie. 

Fashion assistant Maddy 

Alford. Horse Aldersbrook 

Riding School 

(aldersbrookriding.co.uk) 

Location Wanstead Park, 

Epping Forest, owned and 

managed by The City Of 

London (cityoflondon.gov. 

uk/eppingforest)

137

READ 

ea s 

SILVER, ROSE GOLD, METALLIC BLACK… 

NO, NOT THE NAME OF BEYONCÉ’S NEXT THREE CHILDREN, 

BUT THIS SEASON’S COOLEST HAIR COLOUR TRENDS 

Words Fiona Embleton ✦ Styling Ingeborg van Lotringen ✦ Photographs Jon Compson 

138 · COSMOPOLITAN

at first it seems like a bad 

idea. Metallic hair? Really? 

When you’re used to 

straightforward highlights, 

the idea of electricityconducting 

colour can 

be scary. But that’s before 

you see how shiny and 

flattering metallic hair can be. It’s like 

having a lighting team follow you around. 

“Silver and petrol-black shades have 

a blue base, reflecting cool-toned winter 

light best,” says Jack Howard, L’Oréal 

Professionnel UK colour spokesperson, 

who created the hues for this shoot using 

the brand’s new in-salon metallic colour 

service. “And rose gold is great for 

warming up skintone at this time of year.” 

Metallic hair is a classic blonde or 

brunette’s cooler, edgier cousin: badass 

but understated; polished, but in a ‘more 

fun than chasing Pokémon’ way. Howard 

says it involves using a ‘demi-permanent’ 

or permanent dye for a statement metallic 

look. “If you want to experiment, opt for 

a glaze,” says Howard. “It’s a sheer colour 

with some pigment, but only enough to 

coat strands with a soft wash of metallic 

colour and pearlised sheen. It washes out 

over three weeks, revealing your natural 

colour or regular highlights underneath.” 

Curious? Then here are this season’s 

metallic shades to try. They’re basically 

our hair and rock ’n’ roll goals in one.

READ 

silver 

linings 

WHO’S IT BEST FOR? Those with naturally fair or bleached hair. “To experiment 

on the silver spectrum, you need to be a pale blonde shade first,” says Howard, adding 

that it’s best for paler complexions. “Silver makes darker skintones look ashen.” 

GET THE LOOK: Howard pre-lightened the hair for a clean base. “Hair bonds can 

break during any chemical process, so I added L’Oréal Professionnel Smartbond 

(from £30 as an add-on service) to the bleach. It contains an acid that counteracts 

damage as you colour,” says Howard (even if the process sounds like a dangerous 

explosion in a chemistry lab). He added a ‘demi-permanent’ silver shade (which 

grows out after six to eight weeks). “A grey glaze on top of blonde highlights will 

give you a dialled-down version of this look,” says Howard. Or opt for a wash-out 

colour such as Pixie Lott Paint Wash Out Hair Colour in Starlight, £5.99. The 

shimmering pewter shade lasts approximately up to 10 washes so it’s ideal for 

the more commitment-shy. 

MAINTAIN YOUR SHADE: Chemically lightened hair needs extra TLC. Tresemmé 

Heat Defence Styling Spray, £5.25, will shield against damage from straightening 

irons and prevent fading. Switch to a brush with natural or plastic bristles such as 

the Classic Wet Brush, £11.99. “Metal bristles are the equivalent of running a hot 

iron through your hair,” warns Howard. “It fries strands and dulls your colour.” When 

yellow tones start to creep in (often the result of living in a hard-water area), use 

a purple shampoo such as John Frieda Sheer Blonde Colour Renew Tone-Correcting 

Shampoo, £5.99, once a week. Being the opposite of orange on the colour wheel, 

the violet pigments knock back brassiness and keep the blonde base clean. 

COSMOPOLITAN · 141

READ 

rose 

gold 

rush 

OPENING SPREAD: TOP, VERY.CO.UK. PREVIOUS SPREAD: 

TOP, TOPSHOP. THIS PAGE: TOP, NEW LOOK 

WHO’S IT BEST FOR? Golden blondes (you’re halfway there) and light brunettes, as you’re 

basically adding a peachy pink tint to an already soft, warm shade. “Just avoid rose gold if your 

skin has yellow undertones, as the colours will clash,” says Howard. 

GET THE LOOK: “Multi-tonal shades add depth and movement,” says Howard. To be clear, 

we’re not talking about highlights that are the same width from roots to ends, giving that 

’90s piano effect (Rachel Green, we’re looking at you). A modern approach is to ‘stretch’ 

several variations of rose gold through the hair. “I pre-lightened the hair to banish brassiness,” 

says Howard, “then graduated two demi-permanent shades, from a deep copper at the 

roots to pink on the tips, and let random strands of blonde peek through.” 

MAINTAIN YOUR SHADE: Between salon visits, alternate a mask full of moisturising coconut 

oil one month (Pureology Colour Fanatic Instant Deep-Conditioning Mask, £26, is good), with 

a protein-rich mask such as Kérastase Nutritive Masque Magistral, £29, the next. “Everything in 

moderation,” says Howard. “If a protein mask is overused, protein molecules can fill in areas of 

damage, causing hair to become too rigid and break. Relying on a moisturising mask can lead to 

sensitivity as oil clogs pores.” Once a week, use a shampoo with tiny amounts of dye to keep your 

colour rich and glossy. Bleach London Rose Shampoo, £6, intensifies pink tones, or use Davines 

Alchemic Shampoo in Copper, £14.50, if you want strands to resemble a shiny new penny. 

COSMOPOLITAN · 143

READ 

petrol 

head 

WHO’S IT BEST FOR? Natural brunettes. The blue oil-spill sheen looks especially striking 

against black skin, too. 

GET THE LOOK: No pre-lightening is required – this petrol-black shade is permanent and can 

go directly onto virgin hair. “To punch up the 3D effect, I added a few babylights (ultra-thin 

highlights, FYI) in midnight blue to the roots and around the hairline,” says Howard. 

MAINTAIN YOUR SHADE: Babylights are best for a soft grow-out. But nothing says ‘high 

maintenance’ like a permanent black-hued colour. “You’ll see regrowth at the roots after three or 

four weeks,” says Howard. Use a colour-safe shampoo and conditioner such as Herbal Essences 

Ignite My Colour Range, from £3.99, to eke out an extra week before your next salon visit. A shine 

spray will also be your best friend: as well as making metallic hues pop, it bounces light away 

from that line of regrowth, making it less obvious. Avoid formulas that have silicones with ‘cyclo’ 

in the prefix as they’re thought to dry hair out. Bumble And Bumble Hairdressers Invisible Oil UV 

Protective Dry Oil Finishing Spray, £25, is also free from sulphates, which can fade hair colour. ◆ 

FASHION SAIREY STEMP. HAIR STYLING PAUL EDMONDS, USING SHU UEMURA ART OF HAIR. MAKE-UP KARINA CONSTANTINE, USING SISLEY. 

NAILS LOUI-MARIE EBANKS, USING MAC. MODELS KITTY AT MODELS 1, CONNIE AT PREMIER AND BRIDGET AT THE HIVE. THIS PAGE: TOP, BOOHOO 

144 · COSMOPOLITAN

S I N G L E V E G O T Y O U C O V E R E D 

WORDS CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES 

GIVE TO GET (SOME) 

Thought it was only naughty girls (and boys) who had amazing sex? Think again. In news that will devastate 

bad boy Colin Farrell (but may explain a few things about Ed Sheeran, who gives a lot to charity), a new study 

has shown that the kinder you are, the better your sex life should be. Researchers at Nipissing University, Ontario, 

surveyed almost a thousand on their altruistic habits, asking them how often they gave to charity, donated blood 

and helped neighbours. Then they quizzed them on sex. Those scoring higher on the altruism scale also had more 

sexual partners and were happier in the bedroom. Want to up your kind points and meet hot people in Lycra? 

Check out GoodGym, a running group who exercise while helping the community. Feel-good flirting? Sign us up. 

COSMOPOLITAN · 147

ADULT NON-FICTION 

MY 

BEST SEX 

EVER WAS… 

What’s the most exciting 

thing you could do with a 

chair in your office? Probably 

get a bit light-headed spinning in it, 

or use it to wheel yourself over to that 

guy in accounts for a flirt? And while 

that might be fun, my job is to 

review sex toys, meaning that I’m 

well acquainted with the fact that 

you get chairs a lot sexier than 

a back-massaging La-Z-Boy (yes, 

I know some of them have ice 

buckets, and I stand by my word). 

Specifically, the sex chair. Now, 

if you’ve never found yourself 

acquainted with one, think of a 

Reformer Pilates Chair… but with 

a dildo attached. It’s an item that 

is definitely not for use in a class, 

surrounded by women in Lycra, 

while an instructor yells “remember 

to keep breathing” – unless that’s 

your sort of thing, of course. 

Picture a cream leather seat 

(padded, for your comfort) for you 

to sit astride while you mount the 

dildo which, in the best kind of sex 

gadgetry, moves with your body as 

you rock on it back and forth – it’s 

pretty much an adult rocking horse. 

I first heard about the chair from 

another reviewer – and looking for 

with a sex chair 

Yep, there is such a thing. And according to one woman 

it’s way more fun than a La-Z-Boy 

my next big thrill, decided to 

request one to test myself. As the 

postman pulled the huge package 

up my driveway, little did he know 

what it contained. “I might put 

my back out,” he said, huffing and 

puffing. “You and me both,” 

I smirked back. 

Now, my partner is used to 

coming home to find me 

in all sorts of get-ups, 

testing out a wide range 

of stuff, but nothing 

could prepare him for 

what he saw that day. As 

he stepped through the 

bedroom door and saw 

me there in leather 

underwear, the chair in 

the centre of the room, 

his face was something else. 

I walked towards him, kissed him 

and headed to the chair. I mounted 

it, easing down on the dildo, and 

immediately felt waves of pleasure 

spreading through my body, thanks 

to the ridges and ripples running up 

and down the shaft. My partner, 

captivated, began to walk towards 

me and I realised the chair left my 

head at a perfect height to wrap my 

lips around his penis. 

“Nothing could 

prepare my 

partner for this” 

Bucking back and forth on a sex 

chair while giving a blow job may 

sound incredibly tricky; and, while 

I am an amazing multitasker, it 

actually wasn’t as complicated as all 

that. Being on the chair is a bit like 

being on top – you quickly get into 

the rhythm of the rocking motion 

(there’s also a handle at the front to 

grip onto for extra sway). 

But it’s different in the 

most amazing way, 

because you are in 

complete control of 

your own orgasm. And 

my partner said the 

view was incredible. 

What I enjoyed most 

about the chair, though, 

was that as we orgasmed 

together, we shared an instant 

intimacy that comes from finding 

someone just as kinky as you are. 

Hey, other people realise they’ve 

found the one when they discover 

a shared love of watching Game Of 

Thrones while eating cereal out of 

a gauntlet, but for me, knowing my 

partner was as excited by the sex 

chair as I was – that equals true love. 

And one of the most memorable 

sexual experiences I’ve ever had. 

AS TOLD TO CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPH SHUTTERSTOCK 

148 · COSMOPOLITAN

WORST DATES EVER 

Hey, we’ve all been there… 

After a date, he said 

he’d missed his last 

train and needed to 

stay at mine. I checked 

and there were two 

more trains – so I told 

him to stop trying his 

luck. Later, I had 13 

missed calls and three 

voicemails of him 

shouting, then crying, 

then apologising. 

DANIELLE, 24 

He returned from the bathroom 

with bloody tissue up his nose, 

then suggested a game where he 

”expressedemotions with his 

eyes” and I had to guess them. 

SINEAD, 28 

Before we’d even had our 

date, he insisted we stop at 

the local casino on our way 

to dinner… so he could 

win money to 

cover the bill. 

IVANA, 34 

Halfway through our 

‘romantic’ walk, he 

got his phone out 

and started playing 

Pokémon Go. 

LAUREN, 23 

THE BAR ONLY TOOK CASH AND I JUST 

HAD MY CARD. HE SHRUGGED AND SAID, 

“THERE’S AN ATM OVER THE ROAD.” 

ROSE, 21 

He said Donald Trump’s 

policies weren’t that bad. 

GEORGIE, 22 

AS TOLD TO JENNIFER SAVIN. PHOTOGRAPHS GETTY IMAGES 

He said he was a 26-yearold 

model and sent me some 

very Photoshopped pictures of 

himself. When we met, he 

actually turned out to be 

a geeky, non-modelling 

18-year-old. I was 27. 

ZOE, 30 

FERAL 

BACK AT HIS, HE’D 

BUILT A FORT OUT OF 

STAINED SHEETS IN 

CASE I “WANTED TO 

CHILL”. I FAKED A 

TOOTHACHE AND LEFT. 

AMANDA, 23 

First he (accidentally) 

spilled a glass of 

water over me. Then 

he (not accidentally) 

pulled someone else 

in front of me. Oh, and 

he brought his mate 

along for part of it 

too. Great guy. 

OLIVIA, 28 

✱ Got a dating nightmare 

to share? Email worstdatesever 

@cosmopolitan.co.uk 

HOLD YOUR HORSES 

CRAZY FROG 

TOTAL PIG OTTER LOSER 

COSMOPOLITAN · 149

Will and 

Rhiannon on 

holiday in 

Spain, 2013 

‘I don’t think I’ll ever find what we had’ 

Rhiannon Chapman, 22, is a bartender from St Albans 

AS TOLD TO JOSIE COPSON. PHOTOGRAPHS ANTONIO PETRONZIO. HAIR AND MAKE-UP EMILY JANE WILLIAMS. STYLING SAIREY STEMP. 

RHIANNON WEARS: TOP, ASOS. TROUSERS, URBAN OUTFITTERS, BOOTS, RIVER ISLAND. WILL WEARS: JACKET, RIVER ISLAND. T-SHIRT, ACNE 

STUDIOS. TROUSERS AMERICAN APPAREL. TRAINERS, DUNE. RHIANNON AND WILL ATE AT MAXWELL’S, COVENT GARDEN (MAXWELLS.CO.UK) 

I was 17 when a friend introduced me to Will 

in a club. He was covered in tattoos (which 

I mercilessly teased him about, in an attempt 

to look cool) and I had a massive crush on him 

straight away. We swapped numbers that night. Luckily 

he still liked me, and we started dating soon after. 

He was four years older and a gentleman, not like boys 

I knew my age. He’d buy me flowers and lovely dinners, but 

we never put a label on our relationship. After six months, 

frustrated, I blurted out,“Why haven’t you asked me to be 

your girlfriend yet?” and just like that, we were together. 

After two and a half years, we both went to Leeds 

University and stayed in the same halls. I wanted to embrace 

student life and go out drinking, but he was over that 

lifestyle. We started to argue, and by Christmas we’d broken 

up. We had to live with each other for a further year and a 

half, and things got more complicated when I started seeing 

our housemate. Will then brought a girl back to the house. 

It was so dysfunctional and we really hurt one another. 

Nearly three years on, I still cry to my mum because I don’t 

think I’ll ever find what I had with Will with anyone else. 

Seeing each other again was so exciting. I had butterflies. 

We talked about things we’d never discussed. It was nice to 

see him being more vulnerable. We chatted about how we 

both haven’t put ourselves out 

there since our relationship. 

We were saying the same 

things – it was weird. I was 

sad when we said goodbye. 

I wish he was more of an 

arsehole – it would make 

everything so much easier. 

Would you see him again? 

“I definitely want to spend 

more time with him. He was 

ill recently and had no one to 

look after him. I wanted to be 

the one to feed him soup. 

I love him unconditionally.” 

150 · COSMOPOLITAN

Each 

month, we 

send two 

former lovers 

on a date to 

see what 

happens… 

‘We didn’t want to lose each other’ 

William Toose, 26, is a barber from St Albans 

I was attracted to Rhiannon as soon as I met her 

– she had this cool full fringe and a unique style. 

She wasn’t interested in talking to me; she used to 

poke fun at me, but that just intrigued me more. 

After we met in the club, I texted her the next day, and 

from then on we saw each other pretty much every night. 

Everything was so easy. We’d stay up late just talking about 

the silliest things. Rhiannon was planning to go to Leeds 

University, and I didn’t want to lose her, so I went back to 

college for a year and applied to do a history degree. Her 

family let me come with them to Spain to celebrate our 

acceptances. It was really touching for me – I’d never been 

included in a family like that before. 

When we moved to Leeds together, things started to go 

wrong. It was too much, too soon. We broke up before 

Christmas, but didn’t want to lose each other completely, 

so we carried on living together. It became a very 

tumultuous relationship and we were both really emotional. 

I was happy we decided to see each other again because 

we do have a friendship. Even though I haven’t seen her 

for ages, I know she’s still there for me. I noticed how 

much more comfortable she is in herself now. She’s really 

grown up and I think I have too. We talked about how it 

all went wrong. I know if we hadn’t moved in together, 

we wouldn’t have broken up 

so soon. We had a nice long 

hug goodbye, and it felt 

like the perfect end. 

Would you like to be 

reunited with your first love? 

Email us at first.love@ 

cosmopolitan.co.uk. 

Would you see her again? 

“We do still have feelings 

for each other, but it just 

doesn’t feel like the right 

time for us. We’ve both got 

so much more of our lives 

to go and explore.” 

COSMOPOLITAN · 151

B E C A U S E L I F E ’ S A L L A B O U T T H E 5 - 9 

WOULD YOU NIBBLE ON THIS? 

It’s not just mere mortals who have the constant 

pressure to look good. It turns out fruit and vegetables 

suffer the same aesthetic pressures, too. Nowadays if 

a tomato isn’t as pert and round as a Kardashian’s rear, 

a carrot as long and slender as a supermodel or an 

aubergine falls short of the requisite number of inches, 

they don’t make it to shop shelves. And that’s a big 

problem for everyone – with almost a third of the 

world’s food currently going to waste. But change is 

afoot. Supermarkets including Tesco, Aldi, Asda and 

Co-op are now selling wonky-veg boxes – basically 

aesthetically challenged fruit and veg at very handsome 

prices – while the #uglyfood movement has spawned 

thousands of hilarious Instagram images of contorted 

peppers, squat sweet potatoes and indecent-looking 

apples. So now your meat and two veg might not look 

so hot, but it will taste just the same… 

WORDS AMY GRIER. PHOTOGRAPH PATRICE DE VILLIERS/MARCELLWW.COM/PARIS/INTERMARCHE 

COSMOPOLITAN · 153

DESIGN 

DOUBLES 

BLOWOUT 

BUDGET 

The style secrets of 

boutique hotels – without 

actually shoving the floor 

lamps in your suitcase 

Bed, £1,245, Loaf 

Bed, £129.99, Argos 

Floor lamp, £152, 

Sweetpea & Willow 

Soap dispenser, £32, 

Bloomingville at Royal Design 

Floor lamp, 

£49.99, Dunelm 

Soap dispenser, 

£15, Habitat 

Tray table, £360, 

In-spaces.com 

Tray table, £55, 

Pasx.co.uk 

Trunk, £50, Habitat Trunk, £29.99, 

Homesense.com 

Throw, £160, 

Debenhams 

Throw, £65, Next 

Bathrobe, £111.80, 

Le Jacquard Français 

at Black By Design 

The Ritual Of 

Karma candle, 

£21, Rituals 

Screen, £2,495, 

Sweetpea & Willow 

Bathrobe, £45, 

Bouxavenue.com 

No5 Bay Laurel & 

Clove candle, £9.95, 

Dotcomgiftshop.com 

Screen, £80, 

Wallpaperdirect.com 

Coffee table, £370, 

House Of Fraser 

Coffee table, 

£195, Habitat 

COMPILED BY SALLY GILLAM 

Buddha, £45, Kelly Hoppen 

Trunks, £195 for two, 

Alexander & Pearl 

Buddha, £19.99, Dunelm 

Chests, £7.99-£19.99, 

Dunelm 

COSMOPOLITAN · 155

DOES 

DOORSTEP 

DIET FOOD 

REALLY 

WORK? 

Are body-conscious meals on 

wheels really worth the cash? 

We tested them to find out 

BESTFOR: 

Theclue’s in the name. 

YOURDAYINFOOD: For 1,600 

calories, you get an egg omelette 

with spinach and cucumber; 

gazpacho with venison salad; 

chicken breast with courgette 

sauce; fruit with sesame seeds. 

TASTE: Cucumber with eggs? 

Yeah, we weren’t feeling it either. 

Until we ate it. Turns out you can 

learn to love cold mushy 

food. And if you feel you 

TOTAL DIET FOOD 

can’t, they’ll switch things up 

according to your preferences. 

YOU FEEL: Full. Ideal if you buy 

a 700-calorie sandwich for lunch 

and feel hungry half an hour later. 

BUT COULD YOU BUY IT AT THE 

SHOPS? Head to Ocado for 

gazpacho and Spanish omelette. 

But that venison salad and 

chicken breast can’t be recreated. 

FROM: £25 per day; 

Totaldietfood.com 

O 

ur ultimate healthy-eating 

hack: have someone do all 

the hard work for us while 

we swan around decanting 

things from Tupperware 

and pretending we’re Martha bloody 

Stewart. Diet-friendly delivery 

services can be like having a personal 

chef whip you up healthy, delicious 

meals without you lifting a finger 

(apart from inputting your credit 

card). Unless you listen to that 

nagging voice in your head. The one 

that says you’re paying double for 

something you could have made 

yourself (or, let’s be honest, picked up 

in M&S). So, in the name of science 

(OK, laziness) we grabbed our knives, 

forks and microwaves to find out 

which food-delivery companies cut it. 

BEST FOR: Serious fitness fans. 

These guys figure out exactly 

what nutrients you need 

(depending on your training) and 

cook your meals accordingly. 

YOUR DAY IN FOOD: Tropical 

protein shake; chicken curry; 

mackerel with lentils; yoghurt for 

a snack – all delivered in weird 

vacuum-packed containers. 

TASTE: It’s curry, for lunch, while 

getting a six pack. OK, so you 

SIXPAX 

might need to do some crunches 

pre-indulging –but, all in all, we 

really rated this offering. 

YOU FEEL: Pleasantly surprised. 

The food looks like something Tim 

Peake would tuck into, but on a 

plate, it’s nicer than we thought. 


SHOPS? As it’s selected for your 

own needs, it’s hard to buy similar. 

FROM: £40 for a five-day lunch 

pack; Sixpax.co.uk 

156 · COSMOPOLITAN

HONESTLY HEALTHY HY BALANCE BOX 

BEST FOR: Vegetarians who are 

looking for flavoursome food that 

isn’t a lazy meat alternative. 

YOUR DAY IN FOOD: Roasted 

pear and sultana Bircher muesli; 

Lebanese falafel and quinoa 

salad; butternut and edamame 

risotto. All for 1,200 calories. 

TASTE: The pears brought the 

muesli up a notch, while the 

risotto was creamy and therefore 

felt indulgent, even though it was 

packed with vitamins. 

YOU FEEL: Like a proper healthy 

person – but a poor one. It works 

out at pretty much £10 a meal. 


SHOPS? Falafel in shops tends to 

be dry and not so healthy, but you 

could knock up a similar risotto 

at home with a few shop-bought 

ingredients (hello, frozen peas). 

FROM £29.99 per day; 

Honestlyhealthyfood.com 

FRESH FITNESS FOOD 

BEST FOR: Gym bunnies. This 

plan is tailored according to how 

much you work out, and each 

meal is balanced with 40% 

protein, 40% fat and 20% carbs. 

YOUR DAY IN FOOD: Turkey 

bacon, scrambled eggs and slowbaked 

beans (yes, practically a 

fry-up); Italian-style beef lasagne 

with spring greens; tandoori 

chicken with cumin-roasted veg. 

TASTE: Pretty good, if a little bit 

lacking in condiments. 

It is tasty, but probably worth 

having a pot of mustard or mayo 

standing by to give it extra welly. 

YOU FEEL: Smug. Youget to 

eat lasagne guilt-free free. Amiracle! 


SHOPS? Guilt-free curry, without 

a load of weird chemicals and 

sugar pumped in? Not a chance. 


Freshfitnessfood.com 

COMPILED BY SHANNAN STERNE. PHOTOGRAPHS 

DAN MATTHEWS. FOOD STYLIST IONA BLACKSHAW 

BESTFOR: 

Serial snackers. 

YOUR DAY IN FOOD: Lemon 

yoghurt and granola with berries; 

blackened Cajun chicken with 

supergreen quinoa; Kerala 

Malabar fish stew; salted caramel 

power balls. All for 1,800 calories. 

TASTE: Amazing. Every meal was 

delicious. And we’re sure those 

salted caramel power balls (of 

which there were four) were too 

good to be even vaguely healthy. 

SOULMATE FOOD 

YOU FEEL: Like a really, really 

sorted person. It all comes in 

neatly labelled Tupperware that 

is enjoyable to put away, like 

someone who ‘preps’ their meals. 


SHOPS? Each dish is too unique 

to buy ready-made – but with 

plenty of time, you could try to 

recreate some of the recipes. 


Soulmatefood.com 

BEST FOR: Ultra-clean eaters. 

YOURDAYINFOOD:Two juices; 

edamame beans and cucumber; 

mangetout and avocado salad; 

chicken with parsnips and rocket; 

three super shots. 

TASTE: The juices and shots were 

surprisingly good – excluding 

chlorella, which no amount of 

designer packaging can make 

taste like anything other than 

pond. It’s all so fresh and good 

THE DETOX KITCHEN 

for you, and both the lunch and 

dinner dishes were amazing. 

YOU FEEL: Oh-so-healthy and, 

yes, a little smug, but maybe a bit 

hungry. It’s a very low-cal plan. 


SHOPS? The meals are pretty easy 

to recreate at home, but the joy 

here are the delicious dressings 

unique to The Detox Kitchen. 

FROM: £28.90 per day; 

Detoxkitchen.co.uk 

COSMOPOLITAN · 157

WHERE 

THE 

FASH 

PACK 

SHOP 

Ever wondered how 

fashion insiders afford 

their wardrobes? 

We have news. They 

head to these secret 

designer outlet 

destinations. Ssshhh…

Hello, lover 

THE MALL 

near Florence 

Otherwise known as: 

The ‘original’ outlet. 

Who’s there? More a case of who’s not. 

The Mall has Saint Laurent, Gucci, 

Prada, Bottega Veneta… the fashion 

editors’ must-have list goes on. Within 

a 20-mile radius, you’ll also see signs 

for other little outlets in this quiet 

corner of Tuscany, including Dolce 

& Gabbana, Hermès and Trussardi. 

Anything else to do? There’s a Gucci 

Caffè at The Mall, but be warned, they 

don’t make food in quite the same way 

as they do clothes. If you’re driving, 

we recommend making the 18-mile 

trip to Antica Macelleria Falorni in 

Greve. From the outside it’s a 

butcher’s, but behind a secret 

door there’s a restaurant where 

you’ll eat the best burger 

patties (no bread, obviously) 

and salad in the universe. 

Come dressed for it, though 

– this may be the coolest 

joint in Italy. We sat next 

to Brooklyn hipsters and 

Japanese fashion editors 

who’d made the pilgrimage, 

so you get the idea… 

So, what are the discounts like? 

They vary. You can tell where 

the bargains are by the queues. 

The best buys are had at Prada and 

Gucci. The latter usually has an 

extra bargain area, where we found 

sequinned trousers for €120. 

Expect up to 60% off. 

BOTTEGA VENETA A/W 16 

Did we buy? No, 

but we regret 

not snapping up 

those trousers. 

Make a holiday of it: Get an EasyJet 

flight to Pisa, take the €7 train to 

Florence and use that city as your base. 

We’d recommend hiring a car for your 

outlet day, but there are lots of tour 

companies (try Caftours.com) that 

will take you for around €35 return. 

Where are we staying, then? There’s 

no better place than the Hotel 

Continentale, still the best boutique 

hotel in a city awash with them. For 

a start, it’s close to everything: the 

Uffizi (three minutes); the Arno (two 

seconds, it overlooks it); the Duomo 

(10 minutes). Secondly, the hip factor. 

There’s no grand entrance where 

you’ll find tourists in small shorts 

reading their itineraries aloud. 

There is only a small, discreet 

lobby with ’50s designer chairs 

GUCCI A/W 16 

Gucci cake: style 

over substance 

and a silent lift that whisks you 

up to the rooftop bar with views 

over the city. There’s a small spa 

with every soothing treatment 

you could want, while rooms 

are simple, elegant, and with the 

sort of flattering lighting that 

makes all your ‘essential’ outlet 

purchases look wholly justified. You 

can have dinner at any of the Hotel 

Continentale’s sister hotels, all within 

a short walk, but we say make the 

12-minute wander over the river 

to ’O Munaciello pizzeria (31 Via 

Maffia), where you’ll find charcoal 

pizzas (don’t ask – just order) and 

the best party in town. 

✱ Do it! Hotel Continentale, from €200 

per room per night (Lungarnocollection. 

com). EasyJet flies from London to Pisa 

from £26.99 one way (Easyjet.com). 

RIGHT, AND 

BELOW: 

The Hotel 

Continentale 

is the perfect 

backdrop for your 

new purchases 

COSMOPOLITAN · 159

KILVER COURT 

Shepton Mallet 

Otherwise known as: The ‘dignified’ 

outlet. (You’ll find no sharp-elbowed 

coach parties here.) 

Who’s there? Joseph, French Sole, MiH 

Jeans, Toast. Mulberry’s huge outlet is 

round the corner too, selling bags, 

luggage, the whole shebang... 

So, what are the discounts like? We’re 

talking up to at least 60% off. But 

at certain times of year you’ll find 

more. The end of August is bargain 

time, with up to 80% off some 

brands as the sale ends. 

Did we buy? Yes – a Mulberry 

tuxedo reduced from £900 to 

£150. Plus, Mulberry shoes from 

last season, from £400 to £99. 

Make a holiday of it: Sure, you 

could stay near Shepton Mallet, 

but why would you when Bath is 

a 45-minute drive away? Plus, there’s a 

fancy new hotel in town that, frankly, 

it would be criminal not to stay in. 

Where are we staying, then? The 

Gainsborough Bath Spa is a Georgian 

beauty of a thing, slap-bang in the 

centre of town, two minutes from the 

Roman Baths. It has everything you’d 

want after a day of shopping: an 

elegant bar, a restaurant made for 

people-watching (Gareth Gates was 

there on our watch. OK, not the best 

example); and rooms are as tasteful as 

a six-ply camel cashmere blanket. As 

for the spa… oh, the spa! Guests can 

access the hotel’s private Roman 

Baths, containing the same mineral 

waters people queue down the block 

to get entry to next door. But there is 

one secret treatment that those in the 

know really come for – Freedom, 

where you pop on your swimsuit, 

enter the water and a highly skilled 

therapist with strong, marble-esque 

hands cradles your body like it’s 

a South Sea pearl. You’re pushed 

and pulled and ducked under 

the water with such delicate 

precision you emerge feeling 

like Jesus. 

✱ Do it! The Gainsborough 

Bath Spa, from £285 per room 

per night (Thegainsborough 

bathspa.com). 

MULBERRY A/W 16 

ABOVE: Farrow & 

Ball heaven at The 

Gainsborough 

LEFT: Idyllic Bath 

will soothe you 

post-shopping 

frenzy 

FOXTOWN 

Ticino, Switzerland 


The ‘insider’ outlet. 

Who’s there? 160 stores in two malls – 

a mix of high-end (Gucci, Burberry) 

and high-street (Levi’s, Nike), and 

homeware (Le Creuset). 

So, what are the discounts like? Big 

– between 30% and 70%. There’s 

also an on-site Global Blue tax-free 

shopping service where, if you’re a 

non-EU resident, you get the tax back 

too. So, you know, once we’ve sorted 

out how we’re going to Brexit… 

Did we buy? We almost went back 

to Saint Laurent and bought last 

season’s black courts for €130 

– a massive 70% off. But the place 

is so big, we ran out of time. 

Make a holiday of it: You can stay in 

Lake Como and 

cross the border 

(it takes about 20 

minutes), or better 

still (and pretty 

much equidistant) 

is lovely Lugano, a 

lakeside town that 

behaves as if it’s 

Italian (food, language, temperatures), 

looks as if it’s Italian (buildings, piazzas 

and towering palm trees), but is Swiss. 

Where are we staying, then? The most 

stylish option in Lugano is The View 

Lugano, a modern boutique hotel 

160 · COSMOPOLITAN

WORDS CATRIONA HARVEY-JENNER, FARRAH STORR. PHOTOGRAPHS CAMERA PRESS/ 

FRANK P WERTENBERG, GETTY IMAGES, IMAXTREE, DCSC STUDIO 

BURBERRY A/W 16 

A ‘junior suite’ at 

The View Lugano. 

Yeah, it’ll do 

that sits in the mountains like a 

buddha on the hill. It’s pricey, yes, but 

justified. There are no ‘standard room’ 

options, only suites and a junior suite 

will be bigger than most people’s flats. 

There are Jo Malone products on the 

shelves, a roll-top bath in the bedroom, 

and a balcony with views of the 

glittering lake below. The hotel was 

designed with a nod and wink to the 

interiors of a yacht. For those of you 

unfamiliar with the interiors of a 

super-yacht (yep, us too), that means 

butlers for every room, sexy wooden 

interiors and a bar and restaurant that 

comes with a nice man who tinkles on 

the piano. Oh, and did we mention 

every room comes with its own Smart 

car? So it would be a crime not to 

explore. Italy is a 30-minute drive away, 

while to the north is one of the world’s 

biggest dams (as seen in James Bond’s 

GoldenEye), which, should you feel so 

inclined, you can throw yourself off. 

YOLO and everything... 

✱ Do it! The View Lugano, from 

around £545 per Junior Suite per night 

(Theviewlugano.com). Swissair flies from 

London to Lugano, from £67 one-way. 

SAN FRANCISCO 

PREMIUM OUTLET 

San Francisco 


‘The Disneyland of Outlets’. 

Who’s there? Anyone who’s anyone, 

all housed in a theme-park-style 

arena. But its major discounts are 

from US brands: J Crew; Michael 

Kors; Gap; Barneys Warehouse 

(America’s answer to Selfridges). 

So, what are the discounts like? We’re 

talking 25% to 65% off everything. 

But join the outlet’s VIP club online 

pre-trip and you’ll get dozens more 

discounts. Or scout out a ‘Savings 

Passport’ which will score you extra 

dollah off. (Tour operators often 

give these out free to international 

customers, or buy one there for $5.) 

Did we buy? Sure did – a Calvin Klein 

handbag. The initial outlet retail 

price was $139 (£105), but we got it 

for $51 plus tax – that’s around £40. 

The Calvin Klein store had a special 

sale (they’re nearly always on, by the 

way), which gave 40% off the outlet 

price, plus a further 40% off that. 

Make a holiday of it: You’ve got choices 

here. It’s a 40-minute drive from San 

Jose (Silicon Valley territory) or San 

Francisco. We chose San Jose, mainly 

because we wanted to see people 

walking around in Google Glasses and 

paying for coffee with Bitcoin. Head 

to Coupa Café where you’ll see both, 

as well as get to rub shoulders with 

the techerati. Once you’re done 

earwigging conversations about 

megabytes, hire a car and take a road 

trip to food and wine hub Napa Valley. 

Where are we staying, then? The San 

Jose Marriott is reasonable, stylish 

and within walking distance of pretty 

much everything you’ll want to see. 

✱ Do it! San Jose Marriott, from £131 

per room per night (Marriott.co.uk); 

British Airways Holidays has seven days 

from £599 per person, including flights 

and vintage car hire (Ba.com/car); 

Visitcalifornia.co.uk. 

Welcome to 

Bargain Town 

Lake Lugano: feel 

56% healthier by 

just looking at it 

MICHAEL KORS A/W 16 

COSMOPOLITAN · 161

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CHLOÉ ROSE SWIMWEAR 

Chloé Rose Swimwear is named after 

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Model @celestebrightt shot by @bonniecee 

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VOODOO OUTLET 

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SALTY MARTINI 

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THE A/W EDIT 

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THE LAST WORD 

eement made by A Woman 

ress Party (hereafter referred t 

en 

The Pa 

ostume that a) she looks 

good in b 

e she’s trying to look good 

in and c) won’t cost any money. After scanning the entire 

internet, she will conclude this does not exist. 

2DAY OF PARTY 

The Partygoer will make an elaborate plan to go as a 

skeleton. She will spend the morning watching YouTube 

make-up tutorials. She will feel confident. After half an 

hour she will examine her work in the mirror. She will 

look like a coal miner. This plan will be abandoned. 

SHOPPING 

ill run to a joke shop in a panic, 

n y to iscover t at at Halloween it is suddenly more 

xclusive than an Oscars after-party. It will have a queue 

hat extends down the street and a bouncer. Once inside, 

ab the first thing she sees: stick-on scabs and 

Viking helmet. She will think of the rest later. 

ING READY 

The Partygoer will team her bearded Viking 

helmet and plastic wounds with leggings and a strappy 

top in an attempt to look vaguely attractive. She will 

instantly regret her life decisions up to this point when 

her friend, dressed as a sexy cat, posts a picture of them 

on Instagram. The scabs are scarily realistic. Untag. 

TRAVEL 

The Partygoer will 

party, but ‘sexy cat frien 

on the bus” and “every 

On the 

bottom deck 

while on the top deck 

Signed: 

a cab to the 

e “fun 

dress”. 

nd tut, 

a male p 

hilarious to 

nger who thinks it is 

rab the Partygoer’s 

helmet and s m horn 

horny-horny- 

rn 

6 REG RETS 

Upon arrivin at the 

party an meeting Georgia 

May Jagger lookalike dressed 

as a sexy crayon, the 

will wish she’d thrown 

ygoer 

er principles 

o the window 

and chosen a costume th tlook alf decent. 

7SEEING THE OBJECT OF HER AFFECTION 

On spotting the object of her affection (dressed as a 

geriatric zombie and still looking hot), the Partygoer will 

remove her bearded helmet. Her outfit will now consist 

of hat hair, a grey vest, gym leggings – and scabs. 

8 CONVERSATION 

The Partygoer will end up stuck chatting to a girl 

who is talking exactly like who she is resse s – Peppa 

Pig. Upon escaping, she will find her e couple 

who are totally in love with their mat emade 

Shrek and Princess Fiona costumes – gh they 

are so massive they’re wedged in the hallway. 

9 MO ORNING AFTER 

The Partygoer will be woken by the doorbell. The 

postman 

will hand over a parcel at arm’s length and back 

away aghast, at which point the Partygoer will remember 

the scabs liberally covering her face. On Facebook she will 

find photos of her talking to Peppa Pig… while the object 

of her affection and the sexy crayon kiss in the background. 

She willl vow to go as Wonder Woman next year. 

(the Partygoer) 

WORDS FRANCESCA HORNAK AND CATRIONA INNES. PHOTOGRAPHS 

DZD.CO.UK (GLITTERED SKULL MASK), GETTY IMAGES, SHUTTERSTOCK 

170

Cosmopolitan - November 2016 UK

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