Women of Light Magazine: Issue 02
A Season to Surrender
A Season to Surrender
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
<strong>Issue</strong> <strong>02</strong><br />
Spring 2017<br />
<strong>Women</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Light</strong><br />
A city on a hill cannot be hid. Matthew 5:14
Rescuing, Restoring, and Releasing<br />
a Redeemed Army unto the <strong>Light</strong>!<br />
Hill <strong>of</strong> Zion Founder:<br />
Harold Morgan<br />
Hill <strong>of</strong> Zion Co-Founder:<br />
Sarah Terry<br />
Chief Editor:<br />
Sarah Terry<br />
Pro<strong>of</strong> Editor:<br />
Carissa Meyer<br />
Layout and Design:<br />
Robert Gonzales<br />
Photography:<br />
Jessica Sowards<br />
Instagram: @thehill<strong>of</strong>zion<br />
Facebook: @thehill<strong>of</strong>zion<br />
<strong>Women</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Light</strong>:<br />
Lisa Cortese<br />
Kelli Goin<br />
Mallory Jenkins<br />
Carissa Meyer<br />
Kaci Nicole<br />
Heather Paul<br />
Sally Peterson<br />
Glenda Pyzer<br />
Jessica Sowards<br />
Amy Terry<br />
Sarah Terry<br />
Julianne Unger
Dear Reader,<br />
I chose you...Those are the<br />
words that God made very<br />
clear to me on November 2,<br />
2016, while reading Isaiah<br />
44 underneath our pecan<br />
tree. God chose me! He<br />
chose me with a divine<br />
purpose in mind. He chose<br />
me to make His heart known<br />
to women. <strong>Women</strong> that He<br />
has called out to be a light in<br />
this darkened world.<br />
“Ye are the light <strong>of</strong> the world. A city<br />
that is set on an hill cannot be hid.” Matthew 5:14 KJV<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
apostles in the New Testament is the same living God that<br />
has spoken to me and is ready to speak to you as well. He<br />
is ready to speak with power and authority to those that are<br />
willing to be still and listen.<br />
March 16, 2014<br />
Lord, I so want your will to be done in my life! Show me the<br />
things you have for me in your future. Your will not mine.<br />
Amen.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and God answers.<br />
<br />
know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the<br />
Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings<br />
which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts<br />
knoweth what is the mind <strong>of</strong> the Spirit, because he maketh<br />
intercession for the saints according to the will <strong>of</strong> God.<br />
Romans 8:26-27 KJV<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the<br />
Lord, thoughts <strong>of</strong> peace, and not <strong>of</strong> evil, to give you an<br />
expected end.<br />
Jeremiah 29:11 KJV<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
hardships. However, these struggles lead us back to the hope<br />
<br />
And we know that all things work together for good to them<br />
that love God, to them who are the called according to his<br />
purpose.<br />
Romans 8:28 KJV<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto<br />
me, and I will hearken unto you. Jeremiah 29:12 KJV<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and release you.<br />
<br />
me with all your heart.<br />
Jeremiah 29:13 KJV<br />
<br />
Pretending like nothing happened. How did that work out<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
choice. We can be held captive or we can seek God to set<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me<br />
in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully<br />
and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and<br />
that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not<br />
hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously<br />
wrought in the lowest parts <strong>of</strong> the earth. Thine eyes did<br />
see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book<br />
all my members were written, which in continuance were<br />
fashioned, when as yet there was none <strong>of</strong> them.<br />
Psalm 139:13-16 KJV
This is what the Lord says...I’m<br />
making a new way.<br />
- Isaiah 43
Table Talk Contents<br />
.................................................1<br />
Lisa Cortese<br />
...........................................................................................2<br />
Kelli Aardal Goin<br />
..............................................................................4<br />
Mallory Jenkins<br />
..............................................................................6<br />
Carissa Meyer<br />
When Hearts and Hands Hold Tightly ..................................................8<br />
Kaci Nicole<br />
..............................................................................10<br />
Heather Paul<br />
The Primal Heart ................................................................................11<br />
Sally Peterson<br />
Relentless Questioning .......................................................................13<br />
Glenda Pyzer<br />
.............................................................<br />
Jessica Sowards<br />
..............................................................17<br />
Amy Terry<br />
.........................................................................................20<br />
Sarah Terry<br />
.....................................................................................22<br />
Julianne Unger<br />
........................................................................................24<br />
..........................................................30<br />
............................................................................31
Hidden Gifts and a Heart to Go with It<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
has given me is that the enemy attacked me in this<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
becoming a listener rather than a talker to this con<br />
stant message being spoken into me. The thing is,<br />
this was a wound but I believed it as truth, there<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I believed them! Do you hear me? What is it in<br />
your past or present that has been spoken into you<br />
<br />
<br />
The tongue has the power <strong>of</strong> life and death, and<br />
those who love it will eat its fruit.<br />
Proverbs 18:21(NIV)<br />
<br />
your mind. He loves whispering lies to you. He<br />
<br />
the truth. However, you know not to listen to<br />
anything he says, not even when he is telling the<br />
<br />
<br />
as you have been alive. He knows your weak spots<br />
and he knows what buttons to push.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
heart, then now is a good time to ask Him into<br />
your heart. He is the only one you can trust and<br />
He is the only one who can make real changes in<br />
your heart.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
placed in you. There are many lost and broken<br />
Let Him do what only He can<br />
do. Let Him prepare you to do<br />
what God created you to do.<br />
people in the world. There are people that only<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I challenge everyone reading this to look back on<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
1
Bring it On<br />
<br />
<br />
tears and my heart shattered into a million pieces.<br />
<br />
weeks or even months ahead. My husband had<br />
<br />
and alone. He was my high school sweetheart,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
it was all just a bad dream. How was I going<br />
<br />
<br />
to let go. I remember in that moment telling<br />
<br />
going to get me to turn my back on God and<br />
<br />
with him instead.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
again. It was my poetry that I so desperately<br />
needed as my way to communicate with God,<br />
<br />
me what I was dealing with in a completely<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
continue writing and sharing my poems as a way<br />
<br />
I remember in that moment<br />
telling Satan to “Bring It On”,<br />
because this wasn’t going to get<br />
me to turn my back on God<br />
2
strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they<br />
will run and not grow weary, they will walk and<br />
<br />
What was running through your head?<br />
<br />
I wish I could have made you see,<br />
That you were still needed by me.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
No more enemies to be slain.<br />
<br />
Heavens pastures is where you now roam.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Through our kids and the things they say.<br />
<br />
When at last we escape all our sin.<br />
<br />
<br />
3
A Divine Encounter<br />
<br />
Recently, I got rear ended while I was stopped at a<br />
<br />
while driving and it all seemed totally surreal.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
damage.<br />
<br />
accident was only minor. I praised God even<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
vehicle.<br />
<br />
inconvenient. I was shaken, especially because<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
My plan was to have my car repaired right away.<br />
<br />
<br />
short holiday work week.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
decision to have repairs done at this particular<br />
<br />
<br />
church together.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and I have to know whatever happened to him.”<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
treat.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and a wheelchair and she needed to have room to<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
him.<br />
<br />
money was tight with all the medical bills &<br />
<br />
<br />
vehicles was nearly impossible as they were all<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
treatment she desperately needed.<br />
<br />
<br />
I would pass out at any moment. I grabbed my<br />
<br />
<br />
4
coming to rent cars. There was one trip he was<br />
supposed to take but ended up canceling...and<br />
<br />
out what happened to this man and his daughter.<br />
<br />
renting cars because something happened to that<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
they might be?”<br />
<br />
my ball cap. My hands shook uncontrollably and<br />
my heart rate soared into overdrive.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
hands over her mouth in shock and cried many<br />
<br />
laughing, but mostly crying as our human minds<br />
<br />
I could see her brain processing the entire<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
was the sick daughter. In complete shock that I was<br />
<br />
worlds better than she had imagined me to be.<br />
We hugged, multiple times.<br />
We took a picture together.<br />
We continued to cry and laugh and wipe our tears<br />
away.<br />
<br />
We talked about my dad and the lasting impact he<br />
<br />
<br />
We talked about how this moment was so clearly<br />
<br />
<br />
“That’s my dad...<br />
I’m the sick daughter.”<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
prior week, we would not have met because she<br />
was on vacation.<br />
<br />
happened.<br />
<br />
circumstance, however meaningless it may seem,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
5
He knows when, how and where to answer our<br />
prayers. When you trust in that truth and surrender<br />
<br />
you never imagined.<br />
The Lord shall fight for you,<br />
and ye shall hold your peace.<br />
Exodus 14:4<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
or even just someone who works with children<br />
<br />
<br />
not going to be easily swayed to do otherwise.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
authority that is seen, learning to surrender to God,<br />
<br />
<br />
resistance, submit to authority, to give up or hand<br />
over. When what we want comes into direct<br />
<br />
we all have a choice to make…surrender our<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
6
surrendering personal things that have been just<br />
<br />
<br />
today, a light bulb went on in my head.<br />
Surrender is not a one and done decision…it’s a<br />
way <strong>of</strong> life for those who follow Christ.<br />
When we choose to step over the line and give<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Bottom line:<br />
I wasn’t teachable. Therefore,<br />
I wasn’t willing to surrender<br />
what I wanted in order to<br />
learn and grow into what<br />
God’s BEST was for me.<br />
<br />
passive aggressive showing my displeasure through<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
my core and literally changed the way I viewed<br />
surrendering to Him and human authority moving<br />
<br />
I was a senior in college, had already been married<br />
<br />
<br />
teaching credential. I was student teaching and I<br />
<br />
<br />
the students, and she kept asking me to do busy<br />
<br />
<br />
apparently, by the way I responded, the tone in<br />
<br />
language…big mistake!<br />
<br />
advisor at the college letting them know I was<br />
not teacher material. I was unable to do tasks<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
grade papers, tear out workbook pages, or work<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
they reported some similar attitudes in their own<br />
<br />
I wasn’t teachable.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
could choose to surrender my will to all authority,<br />
<br />
what I was doing, being right in my own eyes, lose<br />
the ability to complete the credential program to<br />
<br />
<br />
surrendering, being teachable, was nonsense. I<br />
<br />
my ways and corrected things immediately, but<br />
<br />
<br />
My pride was wounded. I was embarrassed and<br />
ashamed. I wanted to run…but deep down I knew,<br />
7
would be impacted and success in any sphere<br />
would be limited, at best.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
choice that I have made every day, sometimes<br />
<br />
<br />
my wants, my needs, my choices, my hopes, my<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
able to grow in ways I never could have imagined.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
girls, the lessons I learned getting there are still<br />
ingrained in me to this day.<br />
<br />
wants you to grow through this situation, and then<br />
<br />
<br />
teachable, with surrendering to authority…is that<br />
<br />
make a course correction, and joy as you see God<br />
<br />
<br />
When Hearts and Hands Hold Tightly<br />
<br />
<br />
guy announcing their engagement, beaming on a<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
track and suddenly, their trains all sped ahead while<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
around the sun had brought nothing new, and all I<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
something so special than her.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
8<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Well, the college graduation thing did, but almost
Waiting, I’ve found, hurts—because it means you’re<br />
without something you yearn for deeply.<br />
<br />
that day three years ago, slowly, something else is<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
all the while, God is working to use those things to<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
can be trusted. Do we trust Him to provide? Do we<br />
trust that He has our best in mind?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
because I know many married people who are still<br />
learning them in marriage, and many others who are<br />
doing a better job at them than anyone else I know,<br />
yet remain single. These are areas we learn and<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
that it is never wasted. God always has a purpose in<br />
it.<br />
There are a million ways God has used this season<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
God, why are You having<br />
me wait so long? Have You<br />
forgotten about me?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
doubt and distrust, suggesting that the Tree banned<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
our highest good.<br />
The waiting exposes lies <strong>of</strong> the heart, so God<br />
can water them with the truth <strong>of</strong> His goodness,<br />
faithfulness, and steadfast love. The watering and<br />
waiting give life to beauty—a heart that holds the<br />
peace and freedom <strong>of</strong> knowing God is good, and<br />
that He can be trusted.<br />
Time and time again, God has shown me His<br />
character and His heart towards me, and those<br />
streams continue to give shape to a heart that rests<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
know that His ways are higher than my ways and<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It means knowing that He will always tend to my<br />
heart’s deepest need, even when it isn’t the need I<br />
perceive.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and loves us more than we know.<br />
9
Be Still and Know<br />
Heather Paul<br />
<br />
To truly surrender, you must learn to be still.<br />
To truly surrender, you must learn to rest in the<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
the previous sentence, but it just sounds prettier<br />
than plethora, abundance, or a number that I<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
a hard time being still.<br />
Why you ask?<br />
<br />
surrender control.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
through and guide me and let God write His story<br />
through me.<br />
<br />
<br />
a glorious thing.<br />
Growing up, I had a hard time understanding who<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
an investigator, seeking and searching, asking<br />
<br />
<br />
really got still enough to listen to that still voice<br />
10<br />
<br />
<br />
longer I sat still... the louder He became... and I<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Surrender may be hard...<br />
but once you discover how<br />
to unfold the mystery <strong>of</strong><br />
surrender... it truly is a<br />
glorious thing.<br />
Then the time came when I had to declare a<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
childhood, was a pediatrician. What in the world<br />
<br />
my parents were counting on me to become a<br />
<br />
<br />
change my mind and not go through with the goal
it poured down raining. The rain only meant one<br />
thing... the park would be empty and I could really<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
or doubt to consume us... there is no calm... there<br />
is no peace... there is no order.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
to be still and know He is God in this moment<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
my husband to take a position as an independent<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
savor every memory made, encounter created and<br />
mile crossed.<br />
When we let go and let God map out His plans<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
had gotten out and I was devastated. This was at<br />
<br />
<br />
electricity. My husband and I knew the day would<br />
come when we would have to have our kitchen<br />
<br />
without my kitchen or that it would happen while<br />
my husband was deployed. I had to open the<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
missing.<br />
<br />
<br />
discovered her, spent months trying to catch<br />
11
around.<br />
That incident happened a little over a year ago<br />
<br />
are still not sure how or why she had gotten out,<br />
but once she was out, she would not come back<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
pick her up and she went ballistic. I was wearing<br />
<br />
I had to let her go or be shredded. I learned my<br />
lesson and wore long sleeves, a denim jacket,<br />
<br />
done and I spent weeks trying to lure her back in.<br />
<br />
to investigate and discovered a dead cat in our<br />
yard. I have no idea what happened to it. The<br />
<br />
to get the deceased cat and lend me a live animal<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
to bring her inside, our other cats attacked her as<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
our adopted children with trauma are much like<br />
<br />
call, a primal heart. Their brains are constantly<br />
<br />
high and they can instantly go into primal survival<br />
mode. In this state, their brains go on autopilot<br />
<br />
no matter what you are doing or saying. This is<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
or in an attempt to control. They are surviving<br />
<br />
learned over and over again that they cannot trust<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
that trust. These parents just cannot understand<br />
<br />
<br />
my own journey as an adoptive parent. In recent<br />
years, I have been learning a lot more about<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
It is wonderful what miracles God works<br />
in wills that are utterly surrendered to Him.<br />
Hannah Whitall Smith<br />
12
work with this cat!” I believe God was telling me<br />
<br />
<br />
cat. Gradually she accepted me more and more.<br />
<br />
<br />
started letting me trim her nails when she was<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I knew God was telling me<br />
that I had to let go and<br />
trust HIM with Jocelyn.<br />
It has become clearer and clearer with each<br />
passing day that God has called me to work with<br />
these children with primal hearts. He is teaching<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
God is calling me to work with. I still have a lot<br />
<br />
journey with God.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
that cat. I knew God was telling me that I had<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
harder you hold onto the ones with primal hearts,<br />
<br />
<br />
will trust you and come willingly.” It is all the<br />
sweeter in those moments when they seek you out.<br />
Relentless Questioning<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
close to Ryan. I desperately needed that closeness.<br />
It was a time completely centered on honoring<br />
Ryan the way he deserved. When the memorial<br />
<br />
<br />
I could endure. The heartache, desperation and<br />
despair were relentless. I had to surrender or my<br />
soul would perish. I needed to trust and allow God<br />
to guide me where I was meant to go, or I knew I<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Blog Entry:<br />
“Relentless Questioning”<br />
Thursday, October 26, 2010<br />
When you lose someone, anyone, you are<br />
<strong>of</strong>ten left with questions <strong>of</strong> how you could<br />
have changed things, prevented things, or done<br />
things differently. When you lose a child, the<br />
questions are relentless, cutting so sharply into<br />
13
your heart. Whether it’s an accident, a suicide,<br />
<br />
with questions. As a mother your job is to love,<br />
nurture, and protect your child from harm.<br />
When they die...somehow you have failed them.<br />
Ryan died <strong>of</strong> acute hemorrhagic pancreatitis.<br />
The medical examiner told me he could not have<br />
eaten dinner if this had started before bed. In his<br />
opinion, Ryan had a perfectly healthy pancreas,<br />
and in a matter <strong>of</strong> several hours, it had failed<br />
him. He assured me there was nothing I could<br />
<br />
to the Dr, as I cried in fear,...was he hurting?<br />
As his mom, I couldn’t handle the idea that my<br />
little boy was hurting and I was not there to<br />
help him and to hold him. No one can say for<br />
sure, but it is assumed because his pancreas was<br />
failing, his sugar levels went so high he probably<br />
went into a coma and didn’t know what was<br />
happening. As much as my head tells me this<br />
is probably true, my heart still questions. Was<br />
there something I could have done? Did he know<br />
what was happening? Was he scared? Why didn’t<br />
my motherly instincts tell me something was<br />
wrong? Why didn’t they tell me my baby had<br />
<br />
that very hard. In my head I know he wouldn’t<br />
have chosen a different place. He loved his room,<br />
his bed, and living with me. He had told me this<br />
I just need my heart to<br />
embrace what my head knows<br />
already, but for whatever<br />
reason, this is not easy to do.<br />
many times. I just need my heart to embrace<br />
what my head knows already, but for whatever<br />
reason, this is not easy to do. The questions run<br />
relentlessly through my heart. I know we all<br />
wish we could have a peaceful death...to die in<br />
our sleep sounds like a gift. But in my heart, a<br />
mother’s heart, my baby was alone and I wish I<br />
could have been holding him as he went from my<br />
arms into my dad’s. Hold him in my love, as God<br />
took him into His.<br />
<br />
up with wondering what we could have done<br />
<br />
<br />
in my mind at all. I had a great relationship with<br />
my son. He knew how much I loved him and<br />
we would talk about relationships, struggles and<br />
anything else our hearts wanted to share with each<br />
<br />
<br />
his health. I tried to recall every time he said his<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
what happened to Ryan was going to happen. It<br />
was his time. There was nothing anyone could<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
let me know he would be there to meet my baby;<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
embark upon, a spiritual road I will share later in<br />
my book.<br />
<br />
<br />
God, is where He meets you and guides you to<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
14
When Everything Looks Dead<br />
<br />
Over a year ago,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
house at 4 a.m.<br />
<br />
<br />
Talents. Immediately, I knew this was what He meant<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
kingdom.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
world and the walk I knew was suddenly viewed<br />
<br />
every darkness I saw on the news just cried out the<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
work with what he had been given and double it.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
ground and did not double or even collect interest<br />
<br />
<br />
was scolded and cast away.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
You become stronger only when you become weaker. When you surrender<br />
your will to God, you discover the resources to do what God requires.<br />
Erwin Lutzer<br />
15
master distributed the talents based on each<br />
<br />
descriptively says the distribution was based on<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
already cried out to God its own repentance. It<br />
takes a passion grown in the secret place to be<br />
able to carry this weight. It takes a deeply rooted<br />
<br />
a private strength only truly known by the Master.<br />
He distributes accordingly.<br />
<br />
<br />
servant will be multiplied. Those who are willing<br />
<br />
Perhaps they will be distracted<br />
by the demands <strong>of</strong> the world<br />
and accidentally let their good<br />
intentions expire.<br />
to host His presence will see a great increase.<br />
<br />
useless currency will get an opportunity to serve<br />
<br />
intends to do, they will go at once to make the<br />
<br />
These servants were not competing to be the<br />
best servant or the most noticed. They did not do<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
revival because man cannot create revival. It is<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
while in our possession.<br />
What we do with it is up to us. We can act on it<br />
immediately, making His work our identity, pleasing<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
can bury it in the ground and sit on it.<br />
<br />
<br />
when it is handed to them. Perhaps they will<br />
be embittered that their brother received a<br />
heavier measure than them. Perhaps they will<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
who He really is.<br />
<br />
<br />
disabled by the idea that what they do might not<br />
please their Master. They believe Him to be hard<br />
<br />
<br />
by the small opportunities to spread revival, the<br />
ones that come in grocery stores and the back<br />
<br />
glamorous. They give up and think they will just<br />
<br />
make a mistake.<br />
<br />
His presence is a wasted opportunity to grow this<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
carry on.<br />
<br />
you, but I want more than anything to hear those<br />
<br />
Well done.<br />
16
The Brave Steps in Surrender<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
neighborhood in a country setting. My husband<br />
had a job in ministry and I was able to stay at<br />
home with my kids and homeschool them. We<br />
were living our dream. We were content and living<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
home that needed one. This had been a nudging<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
however, that the God who owns the cattle on a<br />
<br />
bring our child home.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
agency that had a partnership with an orphanage<br />
<br />
<br />
the papers to start the process and wrote a check<br />
<br />
<br />
trust that God had asked us to do this.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
this? How are you going to homeschool three kids?<br />
<br />
that God would provide and help us.<br />
<br />
heart but sometimes, along the way, I doubted.<br />
<br />
panic attack, scared about how this would, in<br />
<br />
the child would like me, to being scared about<br />
<br />
night.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
them. Not to worry, because God promises to stop<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
in the water, and promises that as soon as they do,<br />
17
will be able to cross over on dry ground.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
adoption process.<br />
We signed the papers.<br />
We marked boy or girl.<br />
We prayed.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
knew our adoption was the place to give. We gave<br />
<br />
the God who works through us to make miracles<br />
<br />
used by God to make a way when there is no way.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Isn’t he just amazing?<br />
He asks us to take one brave<br />
step at a time, so that we can<br />
experience him as Miracle<br />
Worker, Mighty God: Yahweh.<br />
<br />
<br />
I was driving my kids down the highway in my<br />
<br />
whether taking our two biological children to a<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
was proper missionary wear – a long skirt and a<br />
denim jacket. I clutched a verse on a bright pink<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
were.<br />
<br />
<br />
a conversation with the girl because I just had the<br />
<br />
<br />
trendy with her skinny jeans and cute shoes. I<br />
<br />
<br />
night and I was shocked, to say the least, that the<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
day.<br />
When we arrived, a teenage boy unlocked an iron<br />
gate that enclosed the property. We went inside<br />
<br />
18
over. That was it, I could not go back to sleep.<br />
<br />
This was the long awaited day, the day when we<br />
would meet the sweet child we had taken brave<br />
<br />
<br />
orphanage director, and the aunties who had cared<br />
<br />
down a dirt road so bumpy it could have been a<br />
<br />
compound whose walls had broken glass atop<br />
them to keep predators out who would try and<br />
<br />
– the orphan.<br />
The gatekeeper opened the iron green gate and we<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
get our daughter and be right back!<br />
<br />
to happen. I was about to meet my daughter,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
into her ear.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
us as the orphanage director encouraged her.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
love you.”<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
When I tell this story to groups in person, I always<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
the river.<br />
<br />
courageous. Do not be discouraged or dismayed,<br />
<br />
<br />
The trees are about to show us<br />
how lovely it is to let dead things go.<br />
Anonymous<br />
19
I Chose You<br />
<br />
<br />
my broken heart...<br />
<br />
<br />
God, where are you? Those were the words my<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
enemy, and this lie still lies dormant in my soul<br />
today.<br />
<br />
old. I was picked on everyday by the same girl<br />
<br />
boy shoes. I hated them. That is when the tiny seed<br />
was planted.<br />
The same girl continued to put me down all<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I struggled academically, so now I was ugly and<br />
dumb. The lie took root deep in my heart.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
ever choose me? The lie continued to blossom.<br />
In high school, I let my hair grow out, I got braces,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
because I wanted to believe I was enough. That I<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
what I believed, so I began to highlight my hair,<br />
<br />
clothes. I was desperately seeking outward<br />
beauty. I was going to prove to the world that I<br />
<br />
<br />
He proposed to me when I was 23 years old, and<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
later. I was completely in love with the idea that<br />
<br />
is what I had wanted...right?<br />
I was convinced then<br />
I would never be enough.<br />
Those girls were beautiful.<br />
Who would ever choose me?<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
but I stayed. We were having a child.<br />
20
It was seven years into our marriage when my<br />
<br />
had our second child. I was devastated. The enemy<br />
<br />
and no one else would ever want me...so I stayed<br />
<br />
<br />
pretending like nothing happened. I was<br />
determined to prove the enemy wrong all on<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
wholeheartedly.<br />
My prayer I wrote on March 16, 2014:<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I stayed once again, but this time I stepped out<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
God in His Word and in prayer. I would seek until<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
writings, my chickens, my garden, my children,<br />
<br />
brokenness.<br />
God is an on time God. He swung the doors wide<br />
open. He told my neighbor to go across the street<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
providing.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
and we moved across the street. Most would say I<br />
<br />
was still holding onto my worth.<br />
It was when we moved across the street the true<br />
<br />
<br />
doing everything I could in my own power, but<br />
nothing was working. Things were getting uglier<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
retreat I had no shame. I told the ladies it was hard<br />
<br />
<br />
me. God was calling me to surrender.<br />
<br />
still.” Exodus 14:14<br />
<br />
<br />
he had hidden during our entire marriage...but<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
“You made all the delicate, inner parts <strong>of</strong> my body<br />
and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank<br />
you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your<br />
workmanship is marvelous--how well I know it.”<br />
Psalm 139:13-14<br />
<br />
broken heart...I chose you in your mother’s womb.<br />
All to Thee my blessed Saviour – I surrender all.<br />
Judson W. Van DeVenter<br />
21
Wake Up Call<br />
<br />
When our three oldest kids were in high school,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
occurred. It was an intense wake up call to our<br />
<br />
<br />
Him more intensely.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
His love….He aches to hold you in HIs everlasting<br />
<br />
Things did not change overnight, but there was<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
change came.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
can leave it out or use it improperly, resulting in a<br />
tipsy house.<br />
The earth may rumble, the attacks and storms may<br />
<br />
<br />
loving, living, everlasting arms.<br />
It frustrates me when people<br />
say believers are hypocrites...<br />
OF COURSE WE ARE!<br />
We need help. We need Him!<br />
22
“Remember not the former things, nor consider the<br />
things <strong>of</strong> old. 19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now<br />
it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a<br />
way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”<br />
Isaiah 43:18-19<br />
23
Lisa Cortese<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
especially during those long dry days in the desert.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
book about her testimony titled 180 Degrees<br />
<br />
<br />
Kelli Goin<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
suicide and numerous other trials. However, I<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
things you never dreamed you could overcome.<br />
24
pancreatitis, over 300 days without eating by mouth, total debilitation,<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
25
Kaci Nicole<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
creatively communicating these things through the<br />
<br />
others. I believe transparency cultivates connec<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
ily, working my corporate job in communications,<br />
traveling, getting lost in the mountains, sticking<br />
my nose in a good book, or diving deeper into the<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Heather Paul<br />
Heather Paul is an aspiring speaker and author.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
her talks encourage others to discover their inner<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Town.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
we are in church a hundred times or never, He will<br />
<br />
26
eally was, He was already at work pursuing her.<br />
Her authentic speaking style includes a<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
children.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sally Peterson<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
school. Her husband is a secondary social studies<br />
teacher and is also currently deployed with the<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
27
Glenda Pyzer<br />
Glenda lives with her husband, Russ, in a small Northern<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
immediately loved and raised as her own. During this marriage<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
www.thehodgepodgedarling.blogspot.com<br />
<br />
28
whom she homeschools. They adopted their young<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Sarah Terry<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
her through the good, the bad, and the ugly on her<br />
blog.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
29
1. Read a Psalm or Proverbs.<br />
2. Take a closer look.<br />
Scripture:<br />
<br />
<br />
into the light.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Observe:<br />
<br />
you read today.<br />
Apply:<br />
Write down what God wants you to<br />
do in response to this verse.<br />
Prayer:<br />
Reword the verse into a conversation<br />
with God.<br />
3. Write it down and look back <strong>of</strong>ten.<br />
God, You are:<br />
<br />
Thank you for:<br />
<br />
I need:<br />
<br />
I say a special prayer for:<br />
Who or what does God want you<br />
<br />
I’m sorry for:<br />
What do you need to ask God<br />
<br />
Our outward expression <strong>of</strong> unity will reflect our inward unity <strong>of</strong> purpose.<br />
Seeking God: 9/26/2016<br />
Reflect:<br />
God, you are ...<br />
Able<br />
I’m sorry for ...<br />
My unbelief...you are able!<br />
Thank you for ...<br />
Love...the foundation<br />
<strong>of</strong> my future.<br />
I need ...<br />
help with my unbelief!<br />
I say a special prayer for ...<br />
<strong>Women</strong> <strong>of</strong> <strong>Light</strong><br />
<strong>Magazine</strong><br />
Bless it....you are able!<br />
Scripture<br />
Eph. 3:11-21<br />
Observe<br />
Now to Him<br />
who is able.<br />
(vs. 20)<br />
Apply<br />
He can do<br />
more than<br />
we ask or<br />
imagine.<br />
Pray<br />
God, you are<br />
able...do it!<br />
30
Seeking God:<br />
God, you are...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I need...<br />
Pray<br />
<br />
31
Seeking God:<br />
God, you are...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I need...<br />
Pray<br />
<br />
32
Seeking God:<br />
God, you are...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I need...<br />
Pray<br />
<br />
33
Seeking God:<br />
God, you are...<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I need...<br />
Pray<br />
<br />
34