The Voice of Southwest Louisiana October 2017 Issue

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Family Suppo My Senior Moment 2.0 Each year in October the media, mainly focused on breast cancer, brings attention to women’s health in general. While most do not think of loneliness as a health problem, AARP states that there is a 26% increased risk of death due to subjective feelings of loneliness. With 51% of people over 75 living alone, men are affected as well as women. During the past ten years since I have been widowed, I’ve attended grief support groups and spoke to many widows. We all agree there are no guidelines or preparation for this stage of life. Everyone has different circumstances and feelings in adapting to a way of life that is not of their own choosing. I know lonely widows that do not go around looking for pity. Ask how they’re doing and they answer, “Fine.” After a By Joyce R. Kebodeaux Pictured from L-R: My three sons, Steve, Mark, Nona, Brent while everybody is as tired of hearing our tales of woe as we are of telling them. Sometimes it is easier to act fine than listening to the well-meaning remarks. When expressing my feelings to one who asked about me, I am told of someone else with much bigger problems. While that may be it doesn’t change my circumstances. Other well meaning friends say, “He is in a better place” or “He is no longer in pain.” Yes, I believe the loved ones are in a better place, and no, they are no longer in pain. I agree and most of the time I am grateful for that, but after a while these sayings have been repeated so many times they begin to lose their meaning. I have wanted to shout, “But you just asked me how I am doing, not”... When we leave a funeral we return to our normal everyday lives. But the widowed go home to begin a new normal. Being single seems strange but no longer part of a couple is stranger still. First, cooking for one is no fun and then having no one to share the food with. Sometimes it might even be better to have someone there to grumble about the taste. Women in my past were afraid to stay alone at night after their man died. Grandchildren slept over with them while others moved in with one of their adult children and their family. This disrupted not only the widow’s life but the young family’slife as well. It’s not only about eating and 18 October 2017 WWW.THEVOICEOFSOUTHWESTLA.COM Volume 5 • Number 3
t... sleeping alone. The friends a couple socializes with are usually other couples. After the funeral the invitations to come alone are extended but after awhile it gets awkward for the widow or the others in the group. Camping, canoeing and dancing are some things where a partner can make a difference. Widows must look for other ways and other friends to socialize or spend their time alone. If a couple are senior citizens the Social Security is adjusted at the time of death of a spouse; not always for the better. Now only one check comes each month. The utilities, maintaining the house, insurance, and groceries etc do not go down. Along those financial lines, my husband Clyde and I were in this together. Talking over decisions about purchases, finances I believe two heads are better than one, even if the other head doesn’t always agree. much simpler to have a driver on call and take turns with a partner. Life goes on and I am blessed to share it with family and friends helping me to avoid isolation. There are many women walking this path with me. We stand by each other and share wonderful memories and create new ones. Nona Lumpkin is just one of the women I have met since the death of my husband.. Owners of The Lumpkin Agency, Nona and Bryan were married 64 years and worked together in the insurance office for 41 years. Their family grew to include 3 sons, their wives, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Nona has luncheons with her longtime friends and continues to make new ones. She attends church services and bible study. She enjoys vacations and reunions, graduations and birthdays with her families. This summer she went on a cruise and a vacation in Florida. Married and retired couples stand by each other for doctor’s appointments. I didn’t have to look any further than my Clyde’s old recliner to know that if I couldn’t drive home after a test or procedure he was there. My family helps out in these cases but then as most mothers do, I worry about disrupting their lives and the inconvenience. It was One thing retirees and widows don’t have to have is a schedule. Some us need predictability. Nona does not have to worry about this. Every morning each of her three sons calls her. One calls every evening to say good night. Knowing they are well and thinking of her she begins each day with a smile that lasts all day. Nona and the late Bryan Lumpkin Married 64 years worked together 41 years at the Lumpkin Agency. Volume 5 • Number 3 WWW.THEVOICEOFSOUTHWESTLA.COM October 2017 19
Page 1 and 2: October 2017 Vol 5 No 3 Q&A Real Pe
Page 3 and 4: editor’s By Brenda Hill Labor of
Page 5 and 6: SWLA news Louisianans for Prison Al
Page 7 and 8: Editor's Note: This is the tenth in
Page 9 and 10: Introducing NATURALS Mckenzie and T
Page 11 and 12: The Kiwanis Club of Lake Charles is
Page 13 and 14: Mood Swings: The onset of menses co
Page 15 and 16: SWLA fall fashion Act Out Your Fall
Page 17: ANY SIZE EVENT PHOTOGRAPHY TRINA DU
Page 21 and 22: Vitamin D Promotes heart, immune, a
Page 23 and 24: Investing in Louisiana. Powering th
Page 25 and 26: Top left: Ritha Thibodeaux holds on
Page 27: AMy personal mission was to underst

The Voice of Southwest Louisiana October 2017 Issue

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