Karima Magazine Sep-Oct 2017

Q /A
Filling in for Yessi Perez on this issue’s advice column are Gabriel Contreras & Marie Enright
If you would like to ask
Yessenia to give you some
advice with something that
you are facing in life, then
please send an email to the
following address:
talk@karimamag.com
Hi—I would appreciate some advice.
I am having an issue with a
woman whom is much older than me.
She does not know me and has not had
one conversation with me. Yet I find she
is constantly “talking trash” about me
to other people. I wouldn’t really care,
but its now an ongoing thing. She talks
about me to my peers and business
partners. Everyone of them have told
me about it. They all pretty much say the
same thing about her. They say that she
is old, bitter, really crazy, and envious
of me. ​I’m not sure why she would be
envious. She is married to some old, rich
man that she cheats on all of the time
and has some kind of a business doing
something. I guess I just think it’s kind
of strange.
I’m not sure whether I should
address her or not. I wonder if I have
offended her in some way? I stay to
myself, I stay out of other people’s
business, and just try to live my own
life to the fullest. And by the way—I am
not married. I have just recently started
my own business and am a whole lot
younger by at least 30 something odd
years. All of this time I have just ignored
her, because I do feel sorry for her. I
don’t know her personally, but I think
she is strange. When I do see her or
hear of her being mentioned, it’s either
about her saying something negative
about me or about her trying to act
really young for her age and hoping she
gets attention. Should I just continue to
ignore her or confront her?
-Another Girl Gone Ignorant & Envious
A.G.G.I.E.,
This woman is most likely jealous of you.
There is no other reason she would be talking so
much mess. You are some type of competition
to her whether you feel you are or not. I say you
walk up to her when you see her—confront
her. Don’t make a big scene, of course, but do
address her when you cross paths again.
I would start the conversation with
“Hey, what’s your deal? Do you have something
against me?”
(Mind you-it’s all about your tone and demeanor)
Then wait for a response and just know
that it can go good or bad. In the best case scenario,
it could clear the air and maybe she’ll stop talking all of that trash.
On the other hand, if she chooses to still throw shade then clearly she’s
just a hater and has nothing better to do with her time.
You may never get the answer that you want. Some people are just
tacky. Keep in mind that no matter what happens, you are still you.
-Gabriel Contreras
In response to A.G.G.I.E.,
Hmmm....I say that the woman is jealous and definitely sounds like
a bitter soul. She may even have a mental illness. Therefore, I would just let it
go-really. People will find out who you are and who she really is.
Think of it this way-if you were to confront her, then she would be
winning. I say that, because it sounds like all she wants is DRAMA. Think of her as
the child that craves attention—any and all attention, whether it’s good or bad.
Don’t reward her negative behavior. A fire is only put out when there is nothing
to keep it going.
So, repeat with me —Ignore, ignore, ignore! You’re time is too precious
to waste on an ignorant human being. And by the way, I do pity her husband.
No one deserves to be cheated on in a relationship.
The next time you think of her, I want you to go over in your mind what
your friends have already told you about her. Then brush it off and if you have to,
shout out loud-”dear God, bless her.” Trust me, it’s really therapeutic.
Bottom line—if you’re friends say she is crazy AND if you find
her strange, then it is just that and nothing more. And what a jealous and
crazy woman thinks of you is none of your business. Let her continue to dig her
own ditch.
Do not allow yourself to lose a minute of sleep over a mad woman. Go
on and keep living your life to the fullest.
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-Marie Enright