magazinetest

1993
22 THINGS
YOU OWNED
AS A CHILD
THAT ARE
WORTH A
FORTUNE
TODAY
TLC
The 90’s Greatest Fashion Moments
Furbies
Ring Pops
Gel Pens
Instant Messenger &
More
Do You Remember?
PLUS
THE DEAL,
THE SOUP NAZI,
THE ABSTINENCE
FUNNIEST
UNDERRATED
SEINFELD EPISODES

From
the editor
Welcome, my fellow 90’s enthusiasts! I hope this 1993 issue of
TIMEMACHINE is as fun for you to read as it was creating. For as
long as I can remember, I recall listening to today’s music, watching
today’s movies and shows, looking at today’s style and values, and
wonder what went wrong!? Without a doubt I would chose to go
back to the days with less responsibilities and worries, more soulful
and talented musicians, and more iconic and nostalgic memories.
This magazine is for those who can relate and would love to go back
to collecting trolls, watching Seinfeld and hearing Biggie Smalls on
MTV if we could.
Inside this issue you’ll find those songs you had on repeat when
you got your first Walkman and totally forgot about. Along with
some hilarious toys that bring back the good old days, and fashion
you want to hate but really wish was still in style. You’ll probably
also learn a thing or two that may surprise you, such as the worth of
your favourite childhood toys today— who would have known your
old troll collection would come in handy today.
While I may not be able to build a time machine this is the closest
thing to it, and I hope you enjoy traveling down memory lane with
me in yet another memory-inducing, funny and interesting TIME-
MACHINE. Please let us know if theres any 90’s toys, music, trend,
icon, or news that you want to read about next time.
90’s kids forever!

“The Golden Era”
by Jordan Runtagh
Whenever anyone brings up hip
hop’s golden era, chances are
they’re talking about the ’90s.
Originating in the Bronx in the
1970s, the genre that would later
become a global phenomenon
grew substantially in the ’80s
and, by the time the ’90s rolled
around, had fully matured both
artistically and commercially.
When you think about hip hop in
that decade, two names hover
above the rest: 2Pac and The
Notorious B.I.G. If you’ll recall,
though, the ’90s was also a
period in which hip hop expanded
from being purely a coastal
phenomenon. Southern anthems
like “Back That Thang Up” by
Juvenile and Fiend, Silkk, Mia-X
and Mystikal-featured Master P
song, “Make Em Say Uhh!,” dominated
the charts. Meanwhile,
the East and West Coasts held it
down with their own distinctive
hits, respectively, including Jay-
Z’s “Can I Get A…” and Warren
G ft. Nate Dogg’s “Regulate.”
If any of the aforementioned
songs come on right now, in
any region, hip hop fans will
react. And that acknowledgment
likely manifests with
head bobbing, rapping along,
or dancing.
TIMEMACHINE June 1993 10

27
Rebirth Of Slick (Cool Like Dat)
Digable Planets
1992 / Reachin’ (A New Refutation of Time and Space)
i
30
Tennessee
Arrested Development
1992 / 3 Years, 5 Months, & 2 Days in the Life Of…
Not only did this curious and somber
song win Best Rap Performance by a Duo
or Group in 1993, but the video, shot in
Georgia, remains iconic to this day.
29
Regulate
Warren G ft. Nate Dogg
1994 / Regulate...G Funk Era
Sixteen in the clip and one in the hole! In
this G-Funk classic, Nate Dogg came to
the rescue of his boy Warren G. so that
they could execute their planned night of
canoodling with ladies at the East Side
Motel.
Another Grammy winner, this song was
the trio’s only Top 40 hit. Using jazz in
the song’s soundbed was still a relatively
new production technique, but became an
infectious trend during the time period.
26
Now That We Found Love
Heavy D and The Boyz
1991 / Peaceful Journey
Both sassy and sincere, this track had
a hook that became embedded in your
brain, whether you liked it or not. Not to
mention, Heavy D and his brightly-colored
outfits got it in in the video!
25
The Choice Is Yours
Black Sheep
1991 / A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing
Members of the Native Tongues’ clique
served up some options for listeners
with a dance-floor instigating song that
features the infamous “engine, engine,
number 90 line we all know and love.
iii
and i
CANNOT
LIE
23
I let my tape rock ‘til my tape POP.
Smokin’ weed and bamboo, sippin’
on private stock
Make Em Say Uhh!
Master P ft. Fiend, Silkk, Mia-X & Mystikal
1998 / Ghetto D
No Limit’s glory days; there was a tank in
the video, and Mystikal wasn’t yet locked
up for sexual assault.
28
911 Is A Joke
Public Enemy
1990 / Fear of a Black Planet
Public Enemy’s first Top 40 hit, this Bomb
Squad-produced song shed light on the
slow response time of emergency assistance
in black neighborhoods.
24
I’ll Be There For You/You’re All I Need
To Get By
Method Man ft. Mary J. Blige
1995 / Tical
Balancing gritty with heartfelt, supportive
lyrics, Meth hits Mary J. with a solid assist
on this hood-turned-mainstream love hit.
22
Hypnotize
The Notorious B.I.G
1996 / Life After Death
Rapping about everything from Blues
Clues to “sex in expensive cars,” Biggie
helped Bad Boy keep momentum with
this timeless record that features Total’s
Pamela Long on the enchanting hook.
21
i just love your
Can I Get A…
Jay-Z ft. Ja Rule & Amil
1998 / Volume 2… Hard Knock Life
Just a bit of advice: Never perform this
song at a work karaoke party. It’s naughtier
than we all remember, but Amil and Ja
help Jigga with the heavy lifting.
ways...
10 TIMEMACHINE June 1993

20
O.P.P.
Naughty By Nature
1991 / Naughty By Nature
Hailing from New Jersey, the Naughty by
Nature boys struck gold with the Jackson
5 sample of “ABC” and a contagious
chorus that asked if we were down with
O(ther) P(eoples’) P(roblems).
18
Doo Wop (That Thing)
Lauryn Hill
1998 / The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill
L-Boogie knew her audience well, and
pandered to both genders in the song that
earned her Grammys for the Best Female
R&B Vocal Performance and Best R&B Song
in 1999.
13
So Wat’Cha Want
Beastie Boys
1992 / Check Your Head
The second single from the already-established
group’s third album, “So Wat’Cha
Want” lit up the summer of ’92 and
bestowed upon us some pretty wild photo
negative visuals in the video
They face a court case when the child support
late. Money-taking and heart-breaking, now
you wonder why women hate men
19
Scenario
A Tribe Called Quest
The Low End Theory
1992
Aiding in ATCQ’s transition to the mainstream
listener’s ear, “Scenario” exploded
with a technologically progressive video
and gave Busta Rhymes his rapping debut.
Rah, Rah, like a dungeon dragon!
17
C.R.E.A.M.
Wu-Tang Clan
1994 / Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
Produced by RZA, “C.R.E.A.M.” was the
raspy second single from the Staten
Island hip hop collective and is often
considered the group’s most successful
track.
16
in the
FUTURE
CAN’T WAIT TO
SEE
for me
if you open up t h
e
The Rain (Supa Dupa Fly)
Missy Elliott
Supa Dupa Fly
1997
Missy and Timbaland were lethal in the
’90s, and this early Misdemeanor Top
20 hit was accompanied by a Hype Williams-directed
visual. Word to the fisheye
lens and the trash bag, right?
15
U Can’t Touch This
MC Hammer
Please Hammer, Don’t Hurt ‘Em
1990
Hammer pants first made their debut
on the Arsenio Hall show, and “Stop…
Hammertime” was a widely used motto
in the early ’90s as a result of this hip hop
crossover’s “too legit to quit” power.
14
Mama Said Knock You Out
LL Cool J
1991 / Mama Said Knock You Out
Shirtless in the middle of a boxing ring
is how you picture LL when you think of
this endearingly tough Marly Marl-produced
song that revved the engine for his
career and earned him a Grammy in ’92.
12
Baby Got Back
Sir Mix-A-Lot
1992 / Mack Daddy
Not a man to mince words, Sir Mix-A-
Lot got busy describing his desires in
this early ’90s ode to ladies with large
rear-ends.
11
Gangsta’s Paradise
Coolio ft. LV
1995 / Gangsta’s Paradise
Not only was this creepy-sounding song
on the Dangerous Minds soundtrack, but
the video featured the film’s star, Michelle
Pfeiffer, having a staring contest with the
Compton rapper.
TIMEMACHINE June 1993 10

Music
06
Killing Me Softly
Fugees
1996 / The Score
Before her Miseducation album, Lauryn
Hill’s vocals spilled into radio airwaves
and had little girls singing into their hair
brushes and women grabbing for kleenex.
Come through,
have sex on rugs
that’s Persian
10
Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can
See
Busta Rhymes
1997 / When Disaster Strikes…
Another Hype-directed video, Busta
already had his footing as an artist, and
burst on the scene with a tribal themed
video to support his second album’s lead
single. Glow paint, y’all – buy some.
09
It Was A Good Day
Ice Cube
1993 / The Predator
Taking a break from his gangster South
Central lifestyle, Cube took some time out
to tell us about a liesurely day in his life
where positive vibes were on full flourish.
05
Gin & Juice
Snoop Dogg
1994 / Doggystyle
In addition to giving America an idea of the
laid-back, West Coast lifestyle, the video
captured one of the best behind-your-parents’
back house parties ever.
04
Mo Money Mo Problems
The Notorious B.I.G. ft. Puff Daddy & Mase
1997 / Life After Death
Puffy made sure everything was over-thetop.
Seeing him and Ma$e on a golf course
for the Bad Boy World Champion PGA
Tour was an entertaining substitute for an
already-deceased Biggie Smalls.
,
03
Nuthin’ But A G Thang
Dr. Dre ft. Snoop Dogg
1992 / The Chronic
The first single off of his debut solo album,
“Nuthin’ But a G Thang” is Dre’s only song
in Rolling Stone’s 500 Greatest Songs of All
Time. The Cali producer and rapper earned
major cool points for his innovative sound
early in the decade.
02
California Love
Tupac ft. Dr. Dre
1995 / All Eyez On Me
From this Dre and Pac collabo, a timeless
Cali anthem emerged alongside a video of
epic proportions.
08
Hard Knock Life (Ghetto Anthem)
Jay-Z
1998 / Vol. 2… Hard Knock Life
A specialist at piggy-backing on pop culture
iconography, Hova used music from
Broadway musical Annie to help paint a
picture of his experiences growing up in
New York City’s concrete jungle.
07
My Name Is
Eminem
1999 / The Slim Shady LP
“My Name Is” was Em’s rambunctious
introduction to the world, and with the
help of Dr. Dre and in-your-face controversial
imagery in the video, it clearly
accomplished everything they aimed to,
plus more.
01
Juicy
The Notorious B.I.G. ft. Total
1994 / Ready To Die
Everyone knows this song, even your
grandmother; spread love, it’s the
Brooklyn way! “Juicy” was Biggie’s
first single and, in most cases, is
rapped word for word by fans.
me
10 TIMEMACHINE June 1993

SEINFELD EPISODE GUIDE
The Most Iconic Episodes
The most memorable moments
All 9 seasons and 169 episodes
For novices and big fans
The Contest, The Abstinence & more!
ILLUSTRATIVE GUIDE
The Most Iconic
Seinfeld Episodes
Saying a lot about the show about nothing.
At long last, you will no longer feel overwhelmed when looking at
the long list of Episodes titled “The —”. Following years of speculation
about when and where the historic sitcom would arrive Online,
it finally became available to stream in 2015. But with 169 episodes
in the Seinfeld archive, it’s understandable if you’re intimidated by
the idea of entering the vault without a guide.
In the interest of both helping novices prioritize and reminding
veterans about forgotten jewels, we’ve listed some of the funniest
and greatest episodes to exist. The list is based less on cultural
significance — you may not find the most recognizable episodes
on the list — and more on the density and quality of jokes, the
inclusion of multiple strong narrative arcs, and, to a lesser extent,
how well the comedy and stories have aged.
That said, even the worst (well, maybe the fourth-worst) episode
of Seinfeld is better than most of what you’ll currently find on network
TV — and now it’s just an Online search away. The bingeing
is going to be real, and it’s going to be spectacular.
BY LARRY FITZMAURICE
Saying a lot about a show about nothing
TIMEMACHINE June 1993 10

SEINFELD EPISODE GUIDE
THE RYE
Season 7
Actually, maybe this is the worst
thing Jerry does during the course
of Seinfeld. George pulling the
marble rye through the window
on a fishing hook cements the
episode’s canon-level status,
but Elaine’s oral-sex-focused
subplot is curiously undersung —
especially since a poorly played
saxophone is always funny.
THE DEAL
Season 2
Larry David specifically wrote this
episode to satisfy NBC brass’s
continued demands to get Jerry
and Elaine back together, and it’s
easy to see why they were eager
to split them up shortly thereafter.
The highlights of this episode
include Jerry’s birthday gift to
Elaine of $182 cash, George’s
outburst in the coffee shop, and
the intense back-and-forth discussion
between Jerry and Elaine
deciding on rules for this..uhm,
arrangement.
"You have nothing better to do
at three o' clock in the afternoon?
I go out for a quart of
milk, I come home, and find my
son treating his body like it was
an amusement park!"
The Contest, Season 4
THE PUFFY SHIRT
Season 5
Larry David has described this
episode, centered around a “low
talker” who accidentally convinces
Jerry to model the titular shirt
on the Today show, as one of his
favorites of the series. George
suffers living with his parents, and
his insults towards Jerry’s shirt
end up costing him his new hand
modeling career.
THE CONTEST
Season 4
Even today it’s easy to marvel
at how much comedy is packed
into these 22 minutes without
feeling like overkill: George’s odd
choices for masturbation material
(“Glamour?!”), Estelle Costanza
yelling at him in the hospital
room, the sponge bath, “I’m out!”
Elaine’s JFK Jr. obsession, and
the episode ending with the gang
ostensibly watching Kramer have
sex with the naked woman in the
apartment across the street.
At this point in the show’s run,
Seinfeld had already incorporated
several clever masturbation jokes
into episodes. But here, they
created an entire episode about
it without once saying the word.
Peerless TV, no question.
THE STALL
Season 5
Kramer's phone-sex plotline
feels ripped from Seinfeld's more
sex-obsessed early seasons, but
what redeems the episode is
George's failed bromance with
Tony — including quite possibly
the only worthwhile acting performance
from Dan Cortese. Elaine
and Jerry's new girlfriend have
an awkward and tragic meeting
in the washroom that neither of
them know about until later in the
episode. "I don't have a square to
spare".
THE INVITATIONS
Season 9
Even if George didn’t directly kill
Susan, the way he deals with what
should be a tragic moment is so
brutally, uncomfortably funny
that it hurts almost as much as
actual grief.
THE MANGO
Season 5
Talk of faking orgasms on a single
episode of network TV that aired
in 1993 is groundbreaking stuff.
Elaine admits to “faking it” during
her relationship with Jerry. Meanwhile,
Kramer’s fruit-obsessed
subplot helps George get his sex
life back.
THE OPPOSITE
Season 5
What if doing the exact opposite of
what you would typically do could
improve your life? Taking a hard
look at the show’s power dynamic,
treating George and Elaine like elevators:
One goes up and the other
goes down, while Jerry remains
neutral.
THE HAMPTONS
Season 5
SHRINKAGE! A brilliantly
constructed episode in which
George is the victim of a series of
misfortunes, then seems to get
the satisfying revenge he seeks —
before getting a tomato slammed
in his face.
THE CHAPERONE
Season 6
Jerry accidentally kills his
girlfriend's doves before she
competes in the Miss America
pageant — but he doesn't seem to
care. George switches the Yankee
uniforms from polyester to cotton,
and it goes horribly — yet Jerry
has no sympathy. George may
be the more obvious jerk, but
"The Chaperone" is an important
episode because it serves as a
reminder that Jerry is a pretty big
dick, too.
THE SECRET CODE
Season 7
If you don’t pour out an entire
container of Bosco after this episode,
you clearly have no respect
for the dead.
THE FUSILI JERRY
Season 6
One word: "ASSMAN." It was a
million-to-one shot, doc! The
impending divorce of George's
parents comes to a head here,
and it's defused in a brilliant
way when Kramer accidentally
uses the same "stopping short"
move on Estelle that Frank once
employed to jump-start their romance
many years ago. Also, the
introduction of Elaine's recurring
boyfriend Puddy, played with
aplomb by Patrick Warburton.
THE NOSE JOB
Season 3
George’s horrified reaction to his
girlfriend Audrey’s plastic surgery
— which he talked her into —
speaks to his despicable core,
but there’s something ultimately
dissatisfying about seeing Kramer
10 TIMEMACHINE June 1993

SEINFELD EPISODE GUIDE
THE PITCH
Season 4
A significant episode simply
because it introduces Seinfeld’s
greatest tragic figure: Susan,
whose debut involves being the
target of Kramer’s explosive disagreement
with some spoiled milk.
THE VIRGIN
Season 4
A setup for the all-time classic “The
Contest,” this episode is one of
many in which George both intentionally
and unintentionally enacts
incredible cruelty towards Susan.
THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT
THE MARINE BIOLOGIST
Season 5
George has told a lot of lies — a
lot of lies — throughout Seinfeld,
but his pretending to be a marine
biologist to impress a former
classmate-cum-love-interest
is one of his greatest and most
flimsy. And yet, he almost pulls it
off. More physical-comedy genius
from Kramer, too, as he shakes
sand out of his pockets following
a disastrous golfing day at the
beach. George pulling a golf ball
out of a whale is an iconic ending
and Jerry’s favorite moment of all
nine seasons.
THE ABSTINENCE
Season 8
George abstains from having sex
and becomes a genius, while Elaine
also stops having sex and becomes
a moron. Watching Elaine act like an
idiot has its charms (given that she’s
probably the smartest written female
in a sitcom of all time), and watching
George ace Jeopardy! is a special
thrill. But what puts this episode
into underrated territory is Kramer’s
subplot of suing the tobacco industry,
with our favorite Seinfeld bit player
Jackie Chiles.
THE SERENITY NOW
Season 9
Lloyd Braun finally loses to George
— but let’s face it, George is forever a
loser. Elaine is swarmed by marriage
proposals and other propositions
from men who can’t resist her “shiksa
appeal” — including Jerry and George.
George is right, too: “Hoochie mama”
is more fun to yell than “Serenity now!”
THE CHINESE
RESTAURANT
Season 2
The long wait at a busy restaurant.
This episode is as groundbreaking
as Seinfeld gets — it drives home the
“show about nothing” conceit and
makes it work structurally, laying the
groundwork for many future TV shows
(as well as many future episodes of
Seinfeld). It’s best moments — Elaine
attempting to eat off a patron’s plate
as part of a bet, the restaurant’s host
yelling “Cartwright!” when George’s
girlfriend calls looking for him — make
it an above-average episode with a
narrative device that delivers the rest
of the way.
It was originally titled "The Seinfeld
Chronicles" but was changed because
of a failed ABC show called
"The Marshall Chronicles"
In the pilot Kramer was called
Kessler because the guy Larry David
based the character on hadn't
given consent yet to use his name
It was set in NYC's Upper West Side,
but mainly shot in LA
"I've driven women to
lesbianism before but never to
a mental institution"
The Truth, Season 3
THE YADA YADA
Season 8
It was the fi rst TV series to get more
than $1 Million a Minute for advertising
(previously only commanded
by the Super Bowl)
Jerry was offered $5 Million an
episode to do one more season
but he declined because 9 was his
favourite number
THE
ALTERNATE SIDE
Season 3
We get a taste of how cruel Elaine can
be when she breaks up with an older
boyfriend after he has a stroke. George
trying to be an amateur parking attendant
offers some laughs, but let's face
it — you're here to hear Kramer utter,
"These pretzels are making me thirsty."
Seinfeld didn’t invent yada yada,
but it did propel it to stratospheric
pop-cultural prominence — unlike
spongeworthy, people still say it today.
As for whether or not Tim Whatley
converted to Judaism for the jokes,
does it matter? He tries to use mistletoe
on Elaine during Hanukkah in “The
Strike,” so either way, his commitment
to the religion is dubious.
THE PARKING GARAGE
Season 3
This feels like a urine-laden replication
of the groundbreaking “Chinese
Restaurant” episode. Hilarious banter
between the characters as they spend
hours searching for the car — and RIP,
Elaine’s fish, you never stood a chance.
Each episode has a
Superman reference in it
It won 10 Primetime Emmy Awards
76 Million viewers tuned in for the
series fi nale. 58% of TV watchers
that night
THE BETRAYAL
Season 9
Ah, the infamous “backwards episode,”
which was hated at the time of release.
It gets a little confusing, but getting
Elaine drunk to “open the vault” and
George’s black-spray-painted Timberlands
remain something to behold, in
forward or backward motion.
THE PEZ DISPENSER
Season 3
Sometimes all you need is one unforgettable
moment to make a Seinfeld
episode — and here, Jerry clapping his
fingers together for the Tweety bird Pez
dispenser is that moment. We also get
our first whiff of Kramer’s beach-scented
cologne, as well as tragic dovetail
between an intervention for Jerry’s
friend and a Polar Bear Club meeting.
THE CHEEVER
LETTERS
Season 4
After Kramer burned the Ross’s cabin
down in “The Bubble Boy” episode, it’s
up to George and Susan to deliver the
bad news to Henry, Susan’s serious,
gruff, humorless father. Jerry, meanwhile,
starts dating Elaine’s assistant
Sandra, who is, simply, a crazy person.
A hand on his leg leads to some upstairs
dirty talk on Columbus Avenue,
until Jerry takes things a little too far.
It began and ended
with a conversation
about a shirt button
TIMEMACHINE June 1993 10

SEINFELD EPISODE GUIDE
THE RED DOT
Season 3
Jerry accidentally sends Elaine’s
boyfriend back “on the wagon”,
and George invests in a bargain
cashmere cardigan for Elaine as
a thank-you gift for his new job.
This sweater soon becomes the
bane of George’s existence as nobody
has any interest in a sweater
with a red dot on it. George’s sexual
indiscretion during his tenure
at Pendant Publishing (“Was that
wrong?”) is one for the ages.
THE FIRE
Season 5
Annnnnnd, this might be the worst
thing George does in the entire nine
seasons of the show. The police officer
asking him how, exactly, he lives with
himself is a proxy for all of us. Props to
the writers for plotting a complicated
but totally sound “No bad deed goes
unpunished” story involving Jerry and
Elaine, where the former’s fulfillment
of every comedian’s revenge fantasy
results in the latter losing a promotion.
THE GLASSES
Season 5
Elaine getting rabies and foaming at
the mouth is one of “those moments”
that makes this episode stand above
many others despite its relatively weak
plot. (Another is George showing off
the glasses that gave the episode its
name.)
THE
BUTTER SHAVE
Season 9
Another patently ridiculous episode,
à la “The Frogger.” Kramer’s lotion
becomes appealingly aromatic
after he bakes in the sun too long,
causing Newman to have cannibalistic
thoughts. The montage of George
pretending to be handicapped at Play
Now! set to Sheena Easton’s “Morning
Train” is its own highlight reel.
THE MAID
Season 9
It’s Elaine’s turn to sink to a new, horrifying
low — in this case, by pretending
to die over the phone when a persistent
child keeps dialing her number
thinking that he’s calling his deceased
nana. (Blame the change of New York
City area codes, or don’t.) Possibly the
best Kruger-era episode for George (er,
“T-Bone”), too.
THE FIX UP
Season 3
"She doesn't even
REACH for the check.
All I'm asking for is
a reach. Is that so
much to ask?
The Airport, Season 4
A lot of exposition around a broken
condom and a possible pregnancy
builds to one of the best endings of
the entire series, as George repulses
his girlfriend Cynthia with his slovenly
eating habits. Also, the woman playing
Cynthia? A pre-Janice-from-Friends
THE PEN
Season 3
The only episode that doesn’t feature
George, which made Alexander so mad
that he threatened to leave the show
if the writers ever turned in another
script that excluded his character. This
episode is marvelous — a headfirst
dive into the world of Del Boca Vista,
where we’re introduced to Jack Klompus
and see the infamous astronaut
pen. A muscle-relaxant-fueled Elaine
hollering “STELLA!!!!” at the end earns
Louis-Dreyfus a million trillion Emmys.
THE IMPLANT
Season 4
Despite this episode’s potent quotable
(“They’re real, and they’re spectacular”),
the plot concerning whether
“they’re” real or not isn’t actually all
that funny. You know what is funny?
George trying to get discounted airfare
while traveling to a girlfriend’s family
member’s funeral — and getting into
a fight with one of her relatives over
double-dipping a chip.
THE LITTLE KICKS
Season 9
Any time you feel uneasy about attending
an office party, remember Elaine.
THE SPONGE
Season 7
When it comes to vanity on Seinfeld,
does any infraction come close to Jerry
adjusting the size number on his jeans
from a 32 to a 31? The episode also
features the classic Elaine contraceptive
plotline that gives the episode
its name and coins the pop-cultural
catchphrase spongeworthy.
"Look at this picture
carefully. Because, I'm
not sure..and correct me
if I'm wrong, but I think I
see a nipple"
The Pick, Season 4
THE
SOUP NAZI
Season 7
One of many episodes where the
cultural resonance (“No soup for you!”)
overshadows the episode’s comedic
material — George’s annoyance at Jerry
and his girlfriend Sheila calling each
other “schmoopie” is funny, and Elaine
and Kramer try (and fail) to move
armoire into the former’s apartment.
THE LIP READER
Season 5
There are many episodes of Seinfeld
where single big moments — quotes,
images, actions — compensate for an
underwhelming plot. While Marlee
Matlin’s turn as a lip-reader who helps
George learn why an ex-girlfriend
dumped him is a decent arc, it’s the
image of George sloppily eating an icecream
sundae at the U.S. Open that’s
almost as unforgettable as Kramer’s
ball-boy mishaps.
THE BABY SHOWER
Season 2
One of George’s pettiest moments in
the series, plus the introduction of
Elaine’s on-again, off-again Kennedy
obsession. Kramer has the best line
in this one during a bizarro dream
sequence that shouldn’t work but does
anyway: “Cable boy … what have you
done to my cable boy?”
10 TIMEMACHINE June 1993

Little naked creatures
with creepy red eyes and
neon tufts of hair..What’s
not to love?
TR

OLLS
The story behind the North American craze,
and collecting them today
OK, ADMIT IT—somewhere, in the past,
there has been a troll in your life. However
that troll got there, you are in good company—trolls
have been immensely popular
dolls, and there seems to be a troll or two
in almost any household you come across.
There have literally been thousands of varieties
of troll dolls produced, by many manufacturers.
In fact, trolls were the second biggest
selling doll of the sixties (the troll heyday!),
right after Barbie! And while children of the
‘90s might remember collecting the wildhaired,
naked dolls or topping their pencils
with the miniature figures, children of the
‘60s were collecting their own versions.
By Denise Van Patten

TOYS
We loved collecting things that
looked like they wanted to kill you
in your sleep
Trolls have been a part of folklore forever--as
bad and mischievous creatures who lived in
caves, in logs, and under bridges. Trolls are
believed to be good luck, which certainly has
helped the sale of troll dolls--troll dolls can
be found in houses, in cars, even at work,
purchased with the hope that they will bring
luck to their owners.
However, starting in 1989, troll production
started in earnest again, when troll nostalgia
hit big, causing the second boom period for
trolls in the early 1990s. They were found in
nearly every toy shop and gift shop. Today,
trolls are not as common as in the early
1990s, but can still be found.
They were so ugly...
that you couldn’t
help but laugh, and
when you laugh, luck
follows you.
And since, according to Scandinavian
tradition, nothing bad can happen to a
person who is laughing, Dam thought of his
charmingly unattractive little trolls—which
he named Good Luck Trolls—as chuckle-inducing
talismans. “They were so ugly,” Dam
once said, “that you couldn’t help but laugh,
and when you laugh, luck follows you.”
Not all Trolls are valuable
Even the hair on trolls heads has been
varied--mohair, fur, nylon, straw--nearly
anything you could think of. The nicest troll
hair--often mohair--was found on the early
1960s Dam Things trolls.
Trolls in their collectible form were first
created by Thomas Dam and his family, in
Denmark in the 1950s. The first Dam trolls
were carved in wood. Later, they were made
of soft rubber. Most of these trolls are unmarked,
so it is often difficult to identify trolls
from any of the “clone” troll makers. Many of
the clone troll manufacturers were from Hong
Kong and Taiwan, and the trolls they made
were cheap imitations and of low quality.
These low-quality trolls flooded the market
in the mid-1960s, which caused trolls to
become less popular—troll popularity peaked
approximately in 1966. Trolls went downhill
from there and became almost invisible by
the 1980s.
Today’s trolls are made by several manufacturers,
including Dam Trolls which only sells
their current trolls in Denmark.
Nothing bad can happen to a person
who is laughing...
While trolls range from large to child-sized
in various fairytales, their primary characteristic
has always been their extreme
ugliness. In their mythology, they often live
under bridges or in the mountains, they
spend their time tricking humans out of
their money, and they’re always hideous.
But Dam managed to take the usually ugly
features—wrinkly faces, bulbous noses,
oversized ears—and turn them into tiny,
oddly adorable figurines.
Some of the rarest and most sought-after
trolls include animal trolls (trolls made to resemble
various animals--lions, giraffes, cats,
etc.) moon trolls, 2-headed trolls (extremely
rare!) and black trolls (also very rare). Large
Dam trolls (12” and over) are extremely
desirable.
In addition to the rare trolls mentioned
above (animal, moon, 2-headed, and black),
look for original 1960s Dam trolls in their
original costumes, with their hair and body
in good condition. Dam trolls had felt clothing
that was often riveted to the body (very
different than the clothing on the later Russ
trolls, which often is made of synthetic fiber
and has Velcro closures).
10 TIMEMACHINE June 1993

TOYS
Many older trolls are found naked today
because the felt was fragile and often disintegrated.
Prices on trolls range from only a few dollars
($1 to $5) for late, common Russ trolls, to
$200+ for rare 1960s Dam Things animal
trolls (like giraffes and lions). Smaller, more
common animals can be $25 to $50. Non-
Dam troll animals can be much cheaper,
especially if their tags are not attached. Small
1960s trolls can be found for $15-$30.
$
Certain rare, vintage Nyform
trolls from Norway can bring
over $500 as can rarer 12” Dam
trolls from the 1960s
$
As of 2016, prices on trolls range from
only a few dollars ($1 to $5) for late,
common Russ trolls, to $200+ for
rare 1960s Dam Things animal trolls
(like giraffes and lions). Smaller, more
common animals can be $25 to $50.
Non-Dam troll animals can be much
cheaper, especially if their tags are not
attached. Small 1960s trolls can be
found for $15-$30. Certain rare, vintage
Nyform trolls from Norway can bring
over $500 as can rarer large (12”) Dam
trolls from the 1960s.
Trolls have done police work
The police department in Tarpon
Springs, Florida bought 5000 trolls in
2003 and put them to work. The goal?
To build relationships with the area
children. “Say no to drugs” bracelets
and other objects had been popular.
Police handed out the trolls at Halloween
and at various community events.
Rastas, students, elves...
The variety of trolls that have been
produced is almost overwhelming--one
troll collector, Lisa Moss*, has over
4,000 types of trolls!! There have been
ugly, pretty, mean, strong, fat and
skinny trolls. Some people think troll
dolls are cute, others think them outrageously
ugly.
There have been Rasta trolls, and
pencil topper trolls and numerous holiday-themed
trolls (santas, elves, reindeer).
There are ballerina trolls, college
trolls, and “shapely” female trolls with
boobs. Trolls have been made out of
vinyl, wood, hemp, rubber, glass, porcelain
and ceramics.
I wouldn’t be
surprised at this
point if you are
looking for a box in
your garage that
has your old trolls
from your college
or childhood!
I wouldn’t be surprised at this point
if you are looking for a box in your
garage that has your old trolls from
your college or childhood! Remember,
though, all trolls are not valuable
today. They were produced in the
hundreds of millions, and only mint
and rare trolls Remember, though, all
trolls are not valuable today.
TIMEMACHINE June 1993 10

TOYS
The sheep’s wool
used was dyed three
colors and glued
on the tops of the
dolls for a bushy,
exaggerated mane
that was“strangely
soothing to the
touch.
What to look for
Trolls have been a part of folklore forever--as
bad and mischievous creatures who
lived in caves, in logs, and under bridges.
Trolls are believed to be good luck, which
certainly has helped the sale of troll dolls-
-troll dolls can be found in houses, in cars,
even at work, purchased with the hope that
they will bring luck to their owners.
Trolls in their collectible form were first
created by Thomas Dam and his family, in
Denmark in the 1950s. The first Dam trolls
were carved in wood. Later, they were
made of soft rubber, and finally, vinyl. The
trolls made by Thomas Dam’s company
became known as “Dam Things,” and these
are the most popular trolls with collectors
today. Most collectors believe that the Dam
Thing trolls have the most character, the
best clothing, and the highest quality.
Betty Miller became the first woman
to fly solo across the Pacific. Her only
company for the arduous flight? A Dammit
doll. Miller was invited to the White
House to meet President John F. Kennedy,
and she brought her trusty troll
doll with her. They were found in nearly
every toy shop and gift shop. Today,
trolls are not as common as in the early
1990s, but can still be found. Today’s
trolls are made by several manufacturers,
including Dam Trolls which only sells
their current trolls in Denmark.
Trolls have been a part of folklore forever--as
bad and mischievous creatures
who lived in caves, in logs, and under
bridges. Trolls are believed to be good
luck, which certainly has helped the sale
of troll dolls--troll dolls can be found in
houses, in cars, even at work, purchased
with the hope that they will bring luck to
their owners.
Trolls in their collectible form were first
created by Thomas Dam and his family,
in Denmark in the 1950s. The first Dam
trolls were carved in wood. Later, they
were made of soft rubber, and finally,
vinyl. The trolls made by Thomas Dam’s
company became known as “Dam
Things,” and these are the most popular
trolls with collectors today. Most
collectors believe that the Dam Thing
trolls have the most character, the best
clothing, and the highest quality.
Trolls have been a part of folklore forever--as bad
and mischievous creatures who lived in caves, in
logs, and under bridges. Trolls are believed to be
good luck, which certainly has helped the sale of
troll dolls--troll dolls can be found in houses, in
cars, even at work, purchased with the hope that
they will bring luck to their owners.
Trolls in their collectible form were first created
by Thomas Dam and his family, in Denmark in
the 1950s. The first Dam trolls were carved in
wood. Later, they were made of soft rubber, and
finally, vinyl.
Although Dam Things made the most well-known
and most collectible trolls, many companies got
on the troll bandwagon and began to produce
trolls in the mid-1960s. Trolls have been a part
of folklore forever--as bad and mischievous
creatures who lived in caves, in logs, and under
bridges. Trolls are believed to be good luck,
which certainly has helped the sale of troll dolls-
-troll dolls can be found in houses, in cars, even
at work.
Trolls have been a part of folklore forever--as
bad and mischievous creatures who
lived in caves, in logs, and under bridges.
Trolls are believed to be good luck, which
certainly has helped the sale of troll dolls-
-troll dolls can be found in houses, in cars,
even at work, purchased with the hope that
they will bring luck to their owners.
It is estimated that $4.5
Billion has been made from
Trolls throughout the world
Trolls in their collectible form were first
created by Thomas Dam and his family, in
Denmark in the 1950s. The first Dam trolls
were carved in wood. Later, they were
made of soft rubber, and finally, vinyl.
10 TIMEMACHINE June 1993

Don’t sweat the small stuff: life lessons the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air taught us
TLC
THE 90’S
GREATEST
FASHION
MOMENTS
1993
FURBIES
RING POPS
GEL PENS
INSTANT
MESSENGER
& MORE
22 THINGS
YOU OWNED
AS A CHILD THAT
ARE WORTH A
FORTUNE TODAY
PLUS
THE DEAL,
THE SOUP NAZI,
THE ABSTINENCE
FUNNIEST UNDERRATED
SEINFELD EPISODES