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Reflections

Selected Writings & Artwork by Harriett Copeland Lillard

Selected Writings & Artwork by Harriett Copeland Lillard

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A Journey not Measured in Miles - Rash<br />

had no shoe.<br />

Instinctively, as if to blank out the scene, he turned off the flashlight, and sat there in the cold darkness. He tried to think what to do. He could not<br />

reach the car without endangering himself. He had no way of knowing how deep the water was. Besides it seemed obvious that the man was dead.<br />

On the road at this hour of the night, the wreck could have been there three minutes or three hours. Regardless of that, the impact had probably<br />

killed the driver. The concrete looked like it had been dynamited.<br />

Behind him in the darkness, he heard the cattle moving in the truck, stamping and beginning to bellow, impatient to meet their own appointment<br />

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br />

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br />

with death. He remembered he was supposed to be at the meat packers in Ft. Worth by daybreak. He would call the highway patrol from the next<br />

little town. Turning the flashlight back on, he looked again at the wreck and satisfied himself there was nothing more he could do. He turned and<br />

scrambled up the slippery bank. His legs and butt were caked in mud.<br />

Regaining the highway, he walked out onto the bridge. Not a car had passed, nor did he hear any approaching sounds in the night, just his restless<br />

load of cattle. He walked to the boot and picked it up. It was beautifully made, heavily stitched, the bottom part made from some expensive, exotic<br />

skin. He looked down at his own plain boots, caked with cowshit and now with mud, and holding the boot to his chest over his heart, he thought<br />

how we are all equal in the end – cows, rich men, and poor truckers. Equally dead. Turning and leaning over the bridge rail, he vomited into the<br />

cold, dark water below.<br />

˜<br />

“A ribbon of moonlight!” Yes, that was it. The Highwayman. De-da, de-da, de-da. “I shall be back with the yellow gold before the morning light;<br />

Yet, if they press me sharply, and harry me through the day. Then look for me by moonlight, Watch for me by moonlight. I’ll come to thee by<br />

moonlight, though hell should bar the way.” He was talking out loud to himself. Scraps of poetry floated through his mind and out his lips. “Of all<br />

sad words of tongue or pen the saddest are these: ‘it might have been!’” He thought of her. “The moving finger having writ, moves on, nor all your<br />

piety and wit can erase one jot of it.” He thought of himself. A quick euphoria gripped him as he thought of Invictus, “It matters not how strait the<br />

gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul.”<br />

Perhaps it was not too late for him, perhaps life could be good and gentle again. As it had been when he could remember his mother’s cool, tender<br />

hands. Oh, but that was so long ago and she dead for so many years. He thought of what resolute assholes he and his brothers had become and he<br />

was glad she had been spared that knowledge by an early death. But not to think of those old sad refrains – not now, not while he was on the verge<br />

of resolution!<br />

The patchy fog had become one dense thick pall. He suddenly realized he did not know where he was. He was in an alien land. Exhilarated by this<br />

new excitement, he pressed the Cadillac to its limit. Nothing could touch him. He felt as if he had found the secret. The secret. What was it? He<br />

37

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