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Reflections

Selected Writings & Artwork by Harriett Copeland Lillard

Selected Writings & Artwork by Harriett Copeland Lillard

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Rocks in my Laundry Basket - By Way of Introduction<br />

By Way of Introduction<br />

As I begin this, I find myself writing on notebook paper purchased at least fifteen years ago for my Spanish 211 class – how it has survived<br />

unscathed in this household of prolific paper consumers, I’ll never know – but the most intriguing thing about the paper is its weight and<br />

thickness. The pulp contained in this single loaf would, I feel certain, make two or three sheets of that flimsy stuff now palmed off on our<br />

unsuspecting children. This page has such heft and strength that I know it could be stuck crooked into my son’s speller; come down the hill from<br />

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br />

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA<br />

school; endure an attack of grubby hands, my emphatic jabs, and several half-hearted swipes with a chewed eraser; and still arrive in spelling class<br />

looking like a new tuxedo front. No ragged and crumpled edges, no eraser holes, no untimely crease marks… no, not this paper! This paper<br />

demands perfection, screams for academic excellence, and resists being yanked from its 3-hold binder with such tenacity that one is forced to open<br />

the binder properly in order to remove it. My God! I think it must be Scotch-garded!<br />

Having successfully procrastinated my way out of beginning or completing any number of mundane tasks, I find myself with sufficient time and<br />

energy to begin this book. I hesitate to write the word, “book”, because it sounds almost pretentious, too ambitious a project to begin. But never<br />

one to balk at ambitious projects and already seeing myself receiving the accolades and admiration of other weary “wives-mothers-lovers-cooksmaids-successful<br />

career women”, I have decided to persevere in my use of that mighty word – BOOK. Never having time to read one anymore<br />

without feeling guilty about the dirty clothes, I have decided to write one instead.<br />

I have noted in recent years, during my motherhood phase, that women especially find comfort in recounting and sharing their common<br />

experiences. It is a continuing rehash of the daily trivial tedium, the laughter and little “funnies”, the real tragedies, the “gut” problems, the hard<br />

work and deep-down fatigue, and the everlasting loneliness of Motherhood—the Big M. We do a kind of verbal dance around one another, hoping<br />

to find assurance in someone else’s experiences that we have not failed in some unforeseen way, knowing that happy, well-adjusted people all had<br />

mothers at one time, and praying that we will be one of those fortunate matriarchs who produces a litter of champions.<br />

Curses unto Freud and all those half-baked freshman psychology courses! How dare they lay all the responsibility for the world’s neuroses on<br />

female backs! Where is the Victorian father whose stern look of disapproval was enough to silence the howling mob? We have suffered through<br />

Dr. Spock, B.F. Skinner, transactional analysis, the Primal Scream, and worst of all, New Math. What has all this enlightenment gotten us? It has<br />

gotten us a generation or two of illiterate, self-indulgent brats who can’t multiply.<br />

I must be moving into some new “passage”, as I have felt this need to recount my experiences with increasing urgency over the last few months. It<br />

has become almost an obsession and the words flow out almost faster than I can write. My unselfish need to share is, I would like to think, the<br />

primary reason, but I suspect that baser motives are involved… ones dealing with gross monetary gain. After almost paying off the house, we have<br />

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