CompleteIssueSLOLifeDecJan18LR

| BRIEFS
“conjured up”
The two words from SLOPD Sargent Chad
Pfarr’s New Times interview that triggered
outrage within the community. In the article,
Pfarr, who was commenting for an article
about Cal Poly sexual abuse victims, told the
weekly newspaper: “… students often ‘feel
like they got sexually assaulted because they
blacked out’ [after consuming alcohol] when
really, ‘it was just something that was conjured
up.’” The matter remains under an internal
review at SLOPD.
4
The number of stores that were found to
be in violation of the city’s 2015 ordinance
banning the sale of Styrofoam products,
when those products were found on its
shelves. All four of the stores were part
of national chains and include: Target,
Costco, CVS, and Rite Aid.
$1,200,000
The amount of money Elizabeth Edith
Shaw, 68, of Cambria, embezzled from
her employer, Winsor Construction, since
2005. Shaw was sentenced to ten years
in county jail after entering a no-contest
plea for grand theft and tax evasion.
“So if you’re
fond of your
brains, you don’t
want to be in a
big city.”
Lance Lambert, writing for Realtor.com,
outlining the reasons San Luis Obispo
was recognized as the third best city in
America in which to survive a zombie
apocalypse. Reasoning that the relative
lack of population density would delay
the spread of a zombie virus, the study
estimated that one would fare only slightly
better with the brain-eating undead in
either Lubbock, Texas or Deltona, Florida.
“It looks like a
big, giant rock
sitting there.”
San Luis Obispo Council Member Carlyn
Christianson commenting on the new
Stalwork, Inc. building downtown at the
corner of Santa Rosa and Marsh. The
structure, owned by local developer Ben
Kulick, was painted a dark, charcoal gray
instead of the two-tone tan color he had
received approval for in his plans. Amid
public outcry, Christianson joined her
colleagues in voting unanimously to require
Kulick to repaint the structure.
“You know how
unaffordable
it is to live
in San Luis.”
Scott James commenting on his rationale for
posting a listing on Craigslist explaining that
he and his wife, Gayle, were giving away their
400-square-foot Cayucos cottage to whoever
could move it. A woman, who claimed
the home, contracted with Brandt House
and Building Movers, to set it up in a new
location for her son, a Cal Poly student.
#BISHOPMELON
The Twitter hashtag left behind by a stealthy
artist who painted a unique trailside rock to
look as if it were a slice of watermelon. The
seed-speckled granite sliver found on the
way up to Bishop Peak prompted a spirited
debate locally as to whether it was art or
vandalism. City officials went with the latter
and immediately responded by sending four
park rangers who spent an estimated four
to five hours scrubbing the rock clean. The
intrepid painter remains at large, and should
be considered armed (with nylon brushes)
and extremely creative.
108°
The temperature in San Luis Obispo during
a late October heat wave that broke more
all-time high records for three consecutive
days, including one day when the city
shared the dubious distinction, along with
the Miramar Naval Air Station outside of
San Diego, for being the hottest spot in the
country. Four consecutive days in the week
following also broke all-time heat records.
“Come to think of
it, I really don’t feel
quite as happy as I
did last year.”
One of the many tongue-in-cheek
comments made by San Luis Obispo
residents after learning that National
Geographic’s survey ranking America’s
“Happiest Cities” dropped the Central Coast
town from Number 1 to Number 5 in the
2017 version of its report. SLO LIFE
34 | SLO LIFE MAGAZINE | DEC/JAN 2018