BusinessDay 13 Jul 2018

EDITOR’S NOTE
On our cover this week
is the amiable and gracious
Mary Akpobome,
who shares with us on various
aspects of her life, especially
on turning 50.
Ufoma McDermott is saying
that helping the youths to
build their self-confidence
will go a long way in helping to
curb drug abuse.
We also bring you a story
on UN Women admonishing
women on peacekeeping and
security processes.
July 11th was World Population
Day and the theme for
this year was: Family Planning
is a Human Right. It makes an
interesting read.
In Workplace Palaver section,
Laide isn’t falling for
the threats, she knows better.
Find out what that is all
about.
These and more we have for
you this week.
Enjoy
KEMI AJUMOBI
kemi@businessdayonline.com
Graphics by David Ogar
BUSINESS DAY
Fondly called Mummy Mary by
many, often described as the
Mother Theresa of our time.
Beautiful, determined, intelligent,
assiduous and benevolent are
few words that best describes
her. With 30 years experience
in the banking sector, she is
currently the Co-Founder of The
Purple Girl Foundation. MARY
AKPOBOME recently turned
50 and she shares with KEMI
AJUMOBI on work, family, goals
and more.
In
I
the beginning
grew in Calabar, arguably
then the most peaceful city
in Nigeria. I’m from a family
of 8, and with me being the
last born for some time, then
after many years came another
child so I was pretty ‘spoilt’. As a
little child, I wanted everything,
but I also grew up very quickly.
I spent a lot of time on the sport
field, I loved to play basketball, I
also played badminton and table
tennis too so I related a lot with the
adults. But when I lost my mum,
then I grew up a little faster than
I thought I would for my age and
most certainly, I was having my
way in a lot of situations but it was
fun, there were a lot of children,
family time was fun, I was going to
the village for Christmas and there
was a lot I looked forward to do
during holidays. You could call us
your ‘aje butter’ growing up. It was
good. It was fun, it was a big family.
What way has your earlier
years helped influence you
till date?
What it has done is to enable me try
to build a family structure that has
a bond. Back then, as a family, from
church, (today it isn’t yet a ritual,
but it’s almost there) in a month
at least, three times after church
service, we would eat out. So we
just go somewhere from church
and enjoy. It’s really to try to build
that family structure. It’s a little
different now because back then,
everybody lived at home. You only
left home when you were going to
the University. But now, it’s much
different, the kids are leaving at the
age of seven, at nine, to go into secondary
school and generally just
move on and out of the country.
Mother, wife, entrepreneur,
banker, Founder. How are you
able to mix all of this together
and do it excellently well?
Well, don’t know if I do it excellently
well, I just know that I get
up and I get going because I know
that I have to get up and get going.
If you have a purpose to fulfil, you
stay on that path but the road to
that path is from several arms. In
the midst of that, you prioritize,
you compartmentalize these different
aspects of one’s life or my
life as it were, and you do your best
to give each as much attention as
is required for you to be able to
achieve what you want to achieve
in that compartment. I can’t say it’s
been easy, because it’s not easy to
get up every day at about 5, 5.30am
because by 7:30am, I ought to be
at my desk. You have that positive
burden because there are people
who look up to you, there are people
who are inspired by you, and
there are people for whom your
actions or otherwise are also shaping
theirs. Basic skills of technical
skills of being a banker, an entrepreneur,
to some extent you can
learn some of those things and apply
them. Where I found that one
needs to be able to put everything
else together, goals beyond the
skills, is where you need excellent,
emotional intelligence. It’s where
MARY AKPOBOME
on marriage, work, life’s lessons and resplendently turning 5
you need God’s grace, and I believe that I’ve
had that in abundance going through these
different areas of my life and trying to balance
it. Balancing is just being able to look
into those compartments and at the end of
the day you tell yourself “I’ve done the best I
could have done today in this compartment”.
It’s really about you being truthful to yourself
and telling yourself that you’ve done the best
you could. Grace comes when you realize
that you are not the most intelligent, you are
not the most beautiful, you are not the most
tactical, you are not the most of anything. But
putting it together as a whole, it’s really not by
what you’ve done, it is that there is help from
above that you are able to do everything.
What does turning fifty mean to you?
When I turned 40 I thought to myself, ‘they
say life begins at 40’ and all of that, but turning
50 means a lot. There are many significant
decisions that I’m taking at this time, in these
areas you’re talking about, decisions that
are huge. At some point, I told myself that
when I turn 50, I was going to take one year
off everything and do nothing but go on a
low budget trip and travel the world. Really
if I think about it, I’ve just been working. So
when I say I’m off on a holiday, I’m actually
going shopping for the shoes and clothes we
are going to wear for the next work when we
come back. Back then, when I say holiday,
I’m like ‘ok let’s go to London and London means
Oxford Street and back’. So, going forward, when I
say I am going on a holiday, I’m actually going on
a holiday. I’m going to learn to go to places and
that includes, Obudu Cattle Ranch, even some
places in Nigeria that I’m totally clueless about to
open up my mind a bit more. The children are all
grown. The little one is 10years old and will soon
enter secondary school. So I’m going to have time
to do what I want to do, to be what I want to be, to
explore. I’ve got a swimming coach; I’m getting
someone to teach me how to bake. I’m doing things
that I didn’t have time to do. I just feel very excited
that I’m just looking forward to opportunities that
look really exciting. So this 50 is a big deal.
What’s the greatest lesson life has taught
you?
Life has taught me many lessons. You can summarize
it with one of my favourite quotes by Mother
Theresa. That irrespective, do what you know is
good, do what you know is right. That means,
smile any way, laugh any way jump anyway…do
whatever. Life has taught me that I should stay
real to myself, that I should be kind to people, that
I should be there for people, because people have
been there for me. My own quote is that everybody,
everyone that has come into my life has come for
a reason and for a season. The season may be a
day, a month, a year, a life time. But the reason, the
purpose, whether pleasant or not, is to make me
a better person. So it’s about me. You throw good