elationship 46 wellness - William Shakespeare Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better. yourwellness.com • Volume VII • Issue III • <strong>August</strong> <strong>2018</strong>
47 Malcolm In The Middle! Avoid The Middle-child Syndrome Were you a middle child? Perhaps you have a middle child. Or maybe you’re trying to decide how many children is the ideal number for you as a couple. Well, while relationship dynamics are different in different domestic setups, one thing that many with three children worry about is the ‘middle-child syndrome’. What is middle-child syndrome? Middle-child syndrome is when a child with both an older <strong>and</strong> a younger sibling feels neglected or ignored. Often, they feel that their older sibling is given privileges they don’t enjoy while the younger sibling is indulged or babied. The middle child, meanwhile, can often feel that they don’t have a special place within the hierarchy, being neither the eldest nor the youngest. Of course, most parents aim to treat all their children equally <strong>and</strong> are horrified at the thought that their middle child might be unhappy with their role within the home setup. So, if you are a parent to three children, here's what can you do to avoid middlechild syndrome: Celebrate their firsts Eldest children are used to having their first milestones celebrated whereas for the next child, it might not seem so exciting as their sibling has already done everything they’ve achieved. Add a younger sibling into the mix, <strong>and</strong> the middle child can often feel that their accomplishments go unnoticed. Make time to celebrate every achievement so that your child feels valued. One-on-one time When you have three children of varying ages, it can be difficult to find activities that are age-appropriate for all of them. This often means the middle child gets dragged along to activities that are either too old for them to join in or too young to be interesting. Instead of trying to entertain your children together, schedule time where you can take each one to an activity on their own. Don’t make them compromise Whether it’s letting the eldest choose or letting the youngest go first, middle children often don’t get to make decisions. As a result, they’re probably used to having to compromise, either giving into what the eldest wants or being encouraged to let the youngest choose. Make sure you regularly let your middle child choose what to do – whether it’s picking a board game to play or choosing the film for movie night. Capture the memories When you have your first baby, every moment is captured <strong>and</strong> you probably have thous<strong>and</strong>s of photos of your firstborn. Equally, if you’ve just had baby number three <strong>and</strong> know they are likely to be your last, you’re probably keen to make the most of every little gurgle <strong>and</strong> giggle, especially now that you know how short the baby stage lasts. Your middle child might not be the first or the baby of the family but make sure you create long-lasting memories of their childhood in the same way. If not, one day they are likely to look back <strong>and</strong> ask, “Where are all the photos of me?” Bur being a middle child can be incredibly rewarding – they can have a strong bond with both of their siblings. They get to learn from their older sibling while being a role model to their younger sibling. They also make great partners <strong>and</strong> team players as they learn to get along with different personality types. That’s the reason why, says a study in ‘The Journal of Genetic Psychology’, middle children tend to do better in group situations than older <strong>and</strong> younger siblings... And these are only some of the advantages that a middle child has. To conclude, if you’re a middle child, you’ve done fine for yourself. Be rest assured, so will your second of the three children. <strong>August</strong> <strong>2018</strong> • Issue III • Volume VII • yourwellness.com
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