Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 380 – August 15, 2018

THOMAS
DRUGS
TALKS
ABOUT:
LGBTQ individuals,
compared to
heterosexuals, are more
likely to use alcohol and
drugs, have substance
abuse issues and continue
heavy drinking later
in life. Much of this is
thought to be explained
by Minority Stress Theory,
which broadly states that
individuals of sexually
marginalized groups
experience elevated levels
of stress.
Many LGBTQ individuals
reach for substances to
find the comfort and
acceptance we’re not
always able to in other
ways. I’m not anti-drugs,
but we need to talk about
why they’re being used
and find other ways to
fill the voids. Personally,
I would love to never
have to log onto social
media again and see that
someone I know has OD’d
and died.
I’ve known my best
friend and now
roommate for six years.
A bit ago I noticed he
was staying up all night,
picking his skin, pacing
around the apartment,
and he eventually lost his
job (his parents now pay
his rent). I finally asked
him what was going on
and he enthusiastically
told me he started doing
meth. I’m worried about
him. What can I do? -
Male, Gay, 27
I would begin with
talking to him about
your concerns, which
it sounds like there are
plenty of. This is someone
you’ve known for a while,
so you should have a
decent guess about what
response to expect.
Depending, your next
move is to do what’s best
for you both. If it’s the
living situation you want to
change, then one of you
may have to move out.
If it’s his substance use,
you’re going to need help
from others. He’s an adult,
and you have no control
over what he does, but his
parents pay his rent, so
they have leverage.
There is a huge difference
between someone
casually using a substance
and someone not being
able to take care of
themselves. If this is
someone you sincerely
care about, and you
fear for his safety, you
may have to put your
friendship at risk. A big
part of friendship is
honesty, so be honest with
him.
I love my friends, and
hanging out with them
on the weekends is
great, but more and
more all we do is go out
and do coke or molly. I’m
not going to lie, I enjoy
it, I just don’t want to do
it all the time. How can
I keep my friends but
get them to stop doing
so many drugs? - Male,
Gay, 25
Unfortunately, we can’t
just make our friends do
what we want them to;
however, I’m curious to
know what conversations
you’ve had with your
friends about this. Have
you proposed other
activities to do that don’t
involve drugs? What else
do you have in common
that you can do aside from
drugs? Furthermore, what
would your substance use
look like ideally?
Just because your friends
are doing them doesn’t
mean you have to. If every
time you do an activity
you have to be fucked
up, maybe the activity in
itself just isn’t that fun.
NYC is huge, and there is
no reason you can’t have
more than one friend
group. It’s possible to find
friends that don’t use the
substances you’re trying
to cut back on.
Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: ThomasTalksAbout@gmail.com
@ThomasWhitfield84