The Good Life – November-December 2018

Featuring Sheriff Paul Laney. Local Hero - CHARISM, Having a Beer with Joel Heitkamp, Mr. Full-Time Dad and more in Fargo Moorhead's only men's magazine.

Featuring Sheriff Paul Laney. Local Hero - CHARISM, Having a Beer with Joel Heitkamp, Mr. Full-Time Dad and more in Fargo Moorhead's only men's magazine.


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NOVEMBER-DECEMBER <strong>2018</strong><br />










ASK 30 WOMEN<br />










N<br />

obody told me parenthood is a path toward<br />

enlightenment. <strong>The</strong>y told me it’s expensive,<br />

tiring and thankless. <strong>The</strong>re’s a bit of truth to<br />

both takes, but lately I’ve found myself inordinately<br />

delighted by the unpredictable antics of my three-yearold<br />

son, Macklin. Tomfoolery that would otherwise<br />

inspire madness has become the highlight of my days.<br />

I’m completely content with evenings spent lying<br />

facedown on a living room floor that hasn’t seen a<br />

vacuum in weeks, getting jumped on by a 40-pound<br />

toddler. It may not be your definition of enlightenment,<br />

but it’s as close as I’ve so far come to my own.<br />

As we approach the holiday season, starting with<br />

Thanksgiving, I can’t help but reflect on ‘<strong>The</strong> <strong>Good</strong><br />

<strong>Life</strong>’ I’m living. Each day of parenthood brings new<br />

revelations, but while playing the part of a doughy-soft<br />

crash pad for Macklin — future WWE star — a deep<br />

realization burst into my awareness. Or maybe it was a<br />

budding frontal lobe migraine caused by the repeated<br />

blows. Either way, the thought holds true: every phase<br />

of Mack’s young life somehow becomes my favorite.<br />

Again, it may just be a sign of cumulative brain damage<br />

and memory loss, but every shift in personality, every<br />

major or minor milestone achieved, every new<br />

word, step or stumble beguiles me. Is it possible<br />

to fall in love with potty training? To find beauty in<br />

bloodied knees? To embrace fits of tantramonious<br />

rage? Why yes, it is. It is the zen of parenting — loving<br />

your offspring so much, that (most) every moment<br />

blossoms into a cherished memory. A few examples...<br />


Looking down at a newborn in your arms is tough to<br />

beat. It’s a moment of purity, like looking out the front<br />

window to see winter’s first blanket of unblemished<br />

white snow greet the morning sun (unless you hate<br />

winter, of course). But that first giggle… ah, it’s life<br />

changing. A smile may be the first indication that your<br />

child recognizes you, but a giggle is the first time he<br />

really gets you. I’ve shared in thousands of giggles by<br />

this point, but each one is my favorite.<br />


Toddlers are as enlightened as any being out there.<br />

Why? Because they live completely in the moment.<br />

Everything is new and mysterious, and everything is<br />

capable of inspiring awe at a moment’s notice. If<br />

you go along for the<br />

journey with<br />

them, you get the chance to<br />

catch a whiff or two<br />

of second- h a n d<br />

awe. Every<br />

walk<br />

2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

to the park is an adventure, an<br />

opportunity for him to discover<br />

something new… and, through his<br />

questioning everything around<br />

him, for me to rediscover that<br />

which once surely delighted<br />

me, too. Perhaps it’s an ego trip, but<br />

I love delivering answers to his many<br />

questions.<br />


Yes, I even find ways to love this ongoing<br />

experience of potty training. It’s perhaps the<br />

longest phase yet, but oh so worthy of cherishing.<br />

Watching Macklin learn to take himself to the<br />

bathroom, even interrupting bathtime to do so,<br />

I’m witnessing him take a monumental step<br />

towards independence. Sure he misses a lot, but<br />

the pride on his face after a job sort of well done<br />

makes the lingering smell of stale urine almost<br />

bearable. Honestly, we’d all be a lot happier if we<br />

could manage to be as pleased with ourselves as<br />

Macklin is after pulling up a dry pair of undies.<br />

With each new phase, the challenges grow and<br />

intensify just as Mack does, but so do the rewards.<br />

As does my optimism. When Mack was an infant,<br />

I didn’t want anything to ever change. He was<br />

perfect. But then, he rolled over, looked up and<br />

smiled. Suddenly, I was in love with a whole new<br />

version of him and everything was newly perfect.<br />

It happens again and again and I’m thankful to be<br />

able to trust each new challenge will also present<br />

new gifts. It may not be true enlightenment, but<br />

I’m thankful for a son that makes me content in<br />

the moment, yet eager for the future. What a good<br />

life indeed. •<br />

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 3


NOVEMBER-DECEMBER <strong>2018</strong><br />

6 • ISSUE 3<br />







16<br />

ASK 30 WOMEN<br />










27<br />


30<br />





4 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com


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<strong>The</strong> <strong>Good</strong> <strong>Life</strong> Men’s Magazine is distributed six times<br />

a year by Urban Toad Media LLP. Material may not be<br />

reproduced without permission. <strong>The</strong> <strong>Good</strong> <strong>Life</strong> Men’s<br />

Magazine accepts no liability for reader dissatisfaction<br />

arising from content in this publication. <strong>The</strong> opinions<br />

expressed, or advice given, are the views of individual<br />

writers or advertisers and do not necessarily represent<br />

the views or policies of <strong>The</strong> <strong>Good</strong> <strong>Life</strong> Men’s Magazine.<br />

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 5


Classic cars and hot rods<br />

aren’t new to the Fargo-<br />

Moorhead area thanks to<br />

clubs such as the Toppers<br />

Car Club, which established the first<br />

annual Toppers Car Show back in<br />

1953. <strong>The</strong> community has come<br />

a long way since then and custom<br />

cars, hot rods, and bikes are getting<br />

more love than ever before. Whether<br />

taking in the sights beautifully<br />

restored classic cars and hot rods<br />

line up from Sheyenne Street to<br />

Main Avenue or admiring them up<br />

6 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com<br />

close at Downtown Fargo’s Coffee<br />

& Cars, there’s no doubt classic car<br />

owners and motorcyclists are feeling<br />

the love.<br />

After putting all the work into<br />

restoring a car or bike, there’s only<br />

one thing left to do; breathe new life<br />

into it with an eye-catching custom<br />

paint job. Collectors and enthusiasts<br />

are sure to want the best of the best<br />

and that means finding someone<br />

that not only has the experience, but<br />

also the passion for creating one of<br />

a kind works of art. Mike Wanner<br />

of Fargo-Moorhead Custom and<br />

Collision fits that profile to a T and<br />

it's clear auto enthusiasts agree! In<br />

fact, there is a solid chance at least<br />

one of the classic cars, motorcycles,<br />

or hot rods you’ve admired was one<br />

of his custom creations.<br />

Wanner has been recognized for his<br />

talents across both North Dakota<br />

and Minnesota. His award-winning<br />

work has been featured in several<br />

well-known magazines including

American Iron Magazine. Taking<br />

center stage is the recognition for<br />

his work on motorcycles. He’s won<br />

awards for the best paint job at shows<br />

in Bismarck, Fargo, Jamestown, and<br />

Fergus Falls. His designs have even<br />

beat out hundreds of other entries at<br />

the biggest bike show in the Midwest,<br />

<strong>The</strong> Donnie Smith Bike & Car Show,<br />

held in Saint Paul every year. His<br />

paintwork has helped to edge out top<br />

competitors to win 6 first place best<br />

in class awards!<br />

Growing up, Wanner never dreamed<br />

his work would win awards, but<br />

his upbringing and love for what he<br />

does played a large part in where he<br />

is today. As the son of a hot rodder<br />

and an auto body expert, Wanner<br />

was destined to take a path involving<br />

cars and motorcycles. From the ripe<br />

age of 8 years old, Wanner could be<br />

found in the driver’s seat of old cars<br />

his dad was working on in the shop.<br />

He has fond memories of pretending<br />

to drive old Mustangs and the elusive<br />

Plymouth Super Bird.<br />

Eventually, Wanner’s dad put him<br />

to work and it wasn’t long before he<br />

was taking on projects of his own.<br />

<strong>The</strong> first was prepping and painting a<br />

As the son of a hot rodder and<br />

an auto body expert,<br />

Wanner was destined to take a<br />

path involving cars and motorcycles.<br />

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 7

1976 H-D hardtail chopper at 16. His<br />

reward for his hard work was a solo<br />

ride on the very bike he painted. From<br />

that moment on, Wanner was hooked.<br />

Every project since the first has<br />

brought excitement, but no two client<br />

experiences are the same. Some clients<br />

get in touch and have a vague idea of<br />

what sort of paint job they want, while<br />

others know right down to the nittygritty<br />

detail. While he welcomes the<br />

challenge of both, there’s something<br />

special about the creative process<br />

and the freedom to create something<br />

totally new and just outside the lines of<br />

what’s become commonplace.<br />

One thing is certain, Wanner has a<br />

passion for getting it right the first<br />

time and it definitely shows. From the<br />

start of each project, clients can expect<br />

an open line of communication when<br />

it comes to timelines and budgets.<br />

Clients are encouraged to provide<br />

their feedback throughout the design<br />

process thanks to the pictures he<br />

sends to ensure everyone is on the<br />

same page.<br />

8 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

<strong>The</strong> encouragement he received from such a young age<br />

and the inspiration he draws from other talented painters<br />

have had a massive impact on Wanner and what he does<br />

today. While he can’t imagine doing anything else with his<br />

life at this point, there was a time when he considered<br />

a career path in coaching and teaching. <strong>The</strong> desire to<br />

connect with young people carries over even today with<br />

his advice to those looking to pursue their dreams; don’t be<br />

afraid to go for it. Whether it’s picking up a basic airbrush<br />

kit and following tutorials on YouTube or taking classes<br />

from experts, don’t let fear and uncertainty hold you back.<br />

It’s safe to say Wanner found his calling in life, from painting<br />

ghoulish flames on the gas tank of a motorcycle to adding<br />

a little glitz to a newly restored classic. No matter the job,<br />

every opportunity to learn something new and spend his<br />

time doing what he loves is met with enthusiasm. That’s<br />

the mark of the good life, after all. •<br />

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 9

10 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

Whiskey weather is here!<br />


From North Dakota's first batch of Single Malt Whiskey distilled since Prohibition. Initially<br />

placed in a new American oak barrel, finished in a used bourbon barrel.<br />

Hints of malt, oak, and properly dry. Balanced, subtle sweet notes of caramel<br />

and vanilla. Finish is mild and softly fades.<br />


Crooked Furrow Harvest Blend is aged 2 years in new American Oak Barrels and blended<br />

without chill filtering to produce an incredible character. Smooth, simple, light and easy.<br />

Enjoy it neat, on the rocks or perfect in your favorite whiskey cocktail.<br />

Our Crooked Cola is uniquely its own.<br />


Crooked Furrow Bourbon Whiskey is the full-bodied older brother of our Harvest Blend.<br />

North Dakota’s first-ever Bourbon born and raised from ND Corn and Barley. Our One-<br />

Batch, One Barrel system produces a handcrafted spirit that is barreled twice and hand<br />

selected after three long years for final bottling around 95 proof. Resulting in bold and<br />

crisp flavors with a smooth and appropriate finish. Enjoy and savor the flavor.<br />



urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 11


12 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com


Joel Heitkamp is no stranger to opposition and is not easily intimidated by harsh<br />

words and middle fingers. From his time working as a utilities manager to being<br />

a referee, a North Dakota senator to a radio talk show host, Heitkamp has had<br />

to grow a thick skin to ward off the slings of opposing viewpoints and the oft<br />

accompanied anger. For Heitkamp, it just seems to be water off a golden<br />

retriever’s back.<br />

In his current role as the operations manager for Midwest Communications,<br />

Heitkamp manages the on-air side of six radio stations, including KFGO,<br />

Y94 and 740 <strong>The</strong> Fan and has collectively been in the radio industry 14<br />

years.<br />

On a richly warm autumn day at Brewhalla (Drekker Brewing Company’s<br />

newest location), I had the opportunity to pose questions no other<br />

journalist or radio caller would bother asking the ex-senator and radio<br />

professional. <strong>The</strong> only question that stumped him was one pertaining<br />

to kombucha, leading to a discussion about headcheese.<br />

“Have you ever eaten<br />

cow tongue? You<br />

come out to my fish<br />

house and it’ll be an<br />

experience. You won’t<br />

stay long unless you<br />

wear a gas mask, but<br />

you can come on in.”<br />

<strong>–</strong> Joel Heitkamp<br />

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 13


<strong>Good</strong> <strong>Life</strong>: Who was your childhood<br />

celebrity crush?<br />

Joel Heitkamp: Celebrity crush…?<br />

You’re tough.<br />

GL: I know.<br />

JH: Well, it’s not going to shock you,<br />

but Marsha Brady. I was that age. It<br />

was Marsha, Marsha, Marsha.<br />

GL: If you had ties to any culture that<br />

you’re not a part of already, which<br />

would you choose?<br />

JH: Irish. My daughters are Irish, and<br />

you can see it in them. It seems to me<br />

that the Irish have the most fun. Of<br />

course, there’s a dark history there,<br />

and I get that. I just wish I was Irish<br />

every St. Paddy’s Day. We’re going to<br />

Ireland in March of next year on St.<br />

Paddy’s Day.<br />

GL: It’s not that big of a deal over<br />

there, right? Just to Americans?<br />

JH: It’s not. We’re going to try to<br />

change that.<br />

GL: Will you be voting for your sister<br />

in the upcoming election?<br />

JH: Still debating. She hasn’t earned<br />

my vote yet, but we’ll see. I’m<br />

undecided.<br />

14 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com<br />

GL: Are your wife and you extremely<br />

similar, more like opposites, or what?<br />

JH: You know, at the beginning I<br />

thought we were more opposites, but<br />

the longer we’re together, the more<br />

I think we’re similar. We both like<br />

sports and are very career-minded.<br />

We both get a chance to work with a<br />

lot of professionals. We both manage.<br />

We like to travel. I’d say we’re really<br />

similar, actually. And she’s a huge<br />

Vikings fan because that would be a<br />

deal breaker. She doesn’t like the fact<br />

that I’m a Yankee’s fan, but she had to<br />

get over that.<br />

GL: So she’s more of a Twins’ fan?<br />

JH: Oh, a huge Twins’ fan. But we<br />

share a passionate hatred for the<br />

Green Bay Packers. That’s a tie that<br />

binds us eternally.<br />

GL: What do you think about<br />

kombucha, and have you ever held a<br />

SCOBY in your hand?<br />

JH: Uh. No. Are you going to tell me<br />

what that is? A stogie? I’ve smoked<br />

many a cigar. Is that what we’re<br />

talking about?<br />

GL: SCOBY stands for symbiotic<br />

culture of bacteria and yeast. <strong>The</strong><br />

SCOBY looks like this gross, round<br />

piece of old deli ham, but you use it to<br />

make kombucha, which is essentially<br />

fermented tea.<br />

JH: Have you ever tried headcheese?<br />

GL: No, but I featured it in an article.<br />

JH: Have you ever tried blood<br />

sausage?<br />

GL: That was also featured in the<br />

same article, but I’ve never tried it.<br />

JH: I’ve eaten those. I eat liver<br />

sausage. Have you ever eaten cow<br />

tongue? You come out to my fish<br />

house and it’ll be an experience. You<br />

won’t stay long unless you wear a gas<br />

mask, but you can come on in.<br />

GL: When did your love of headcheese<br />

come about?<br />

JH: We didn’t have a lot of money<br />

growing up, so mom and dad<br />

didn’t throw away anything. We<br />

learned to eat liver. We learned to<br />

eat cow tongue. Dad wasn’t that<br />

big on headcheese. It’s just a joke I<br />

make on air, but there was always<br />

Braunschweiger in the fridge—what<br />

you would call liver pâté. I act like I<br />

eat it every day, but I haven’t eaten it<br />

in 15 years.

GL: If you were a dog, what breed<br />

would you be?<br />

JH: I’d be a golden retriever.<br />

GL: Same.<br />

JH: Yeah, you have to be a redhead.<br />

Gotta be a decent size where you<br />

can put up a fight. You don’t have<br />

to win it, but you’ve gotta be able to<br />

punch. Goldens are loyal. Goldens<br />

are fun to be around, and they like<br />

kids, plus they hunt the way I do.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y hunt hard until about noon,<br />

and then they look for a beer.<br />

GL: I just imagined a golden<br />

retriever extending its paw to open<br />

the fridge and pull out a Budweiser.<br />

GL: Which era in history would you<br />

choose to live during for an entire<br />

year?<br />

JH: World War II because it was<br />

truly the best generation. We make<br />

them out to be better than they<br />

were, don’t get me wrong. Those<br />

boys didn’t behave that much better<br />

than any of us, but their cause was<br />

so good. It collectively bound them<br />

together. My dad fought for WWII.<br />

When he came home, if you hadn’t<br />

been in the military you weren’t<br />

the norm. I was always jealous of<br />

that, that everybody served and<br />

everybody had that to hang their hat<br />

on. I would have loved to say I was<br />

a part of that.<br />

GL: What does living “the good life”<br />

mean to you?<br />

JH: Freedom. Everybody’s freedom<br />

is different. You do what you want<br />

to do when you want to do it. That’s<br />

the good life. It doesn’t mean having<br />

money. That’s not what it’s about at<br />

all. Tonight it might mean hopping<br />

on your bicycle, or, for me, hopping<br />

on my Harley and going for a ride.<br />

It’s about the freedom and the<br />

mindset to do whatever you want<br />

to do. If I want to hang around<br />

my grandkids and go to a Vikings<br />

game I can because I’m free. That’s<br />

freedom to me. •<br />

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 15



We’ve all seen it, the fake smile, the awkward grin of what appears to be enthusiasm, the unconvincing ‘Thank You’. You<br />

spent hours (or maybe minutes) looking for the perfect gift <strong>–</strong> only to find it hidden in the back of the closet. Don’t be that<br />

guy! Avoid buying the gift that calls the junk drawer home.<br />

<strong>The</strong> pressure is on! “What does she want? I wasn’t listening to her.<br />

Would she like this? Maybe just a gift card or jumper cables?”<br />

Relax gentlemen. We are here to help. <strong>The</strong> <strong>Good</strong> <strong>Life</strong> Men’s<br />

Magazine asked 30 random women, “What is the most<br />

disappointing gift you have received?”<br />

Save this valuable information and avoid these gifts. We<br />

did our part, now the rest is up to you. <strong>Good</strong> luck out there<br />

and happy shopping. •<br />

UHH...<br />

THANKS?<br />

16 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

1. My mom got a vacuum. I have<br />

that vacuum now.<br />

2. Thrift store socks and slippers.<br />

3. A box of cleaning supplies.<br />

4. Gift cards. No thought or<br />

emotion put into it.<br />

5. An exercise DVD and a digital<br />

scale that measures BMI.<br />

6. I got a Garmin GPS from a<br />

boyfriend. He told me it was so I<br />

didn’t yell at him when he got lost in<br />

traffic.<br />

7. Socks with Christmas trees - in<br />

kids size.<br />

8. A pair of welding gloves, so I<br />

wouldn’t burn my dainty, delicate<br />

hands loading wood in the fireplace.<br />

9. Candles. One is nice, but not five.<br />

10. My husband gave me a Hershey<br />

Kiss on a stick that resembled a<br />

rose.<br />


12. My ex boyfriend took me to the<br />

store, had me pick out a Christmas<br />

present and purchase it. He then<br />

went and purchased himself a<br />

“present” of equal value and called<br />

it even.<br />

13. A CHAINSAW.<br />

14. A donation to an art benefit on<br />

my behalf.<br />

15. 3 seasons of <strong>The</strong> Office on DVD.<br />

I could tell they were pre-owned,<br />

but I was still very happy with the<br />

gift. My happiness was short-lived<br />

when he told me that he borrowed<br />

them from a friend, and would<br />

appreciate my watching them as<br />

soon as possible so that they could<br />

be returned.<br />

16. A framed photo of the guy I was<br />

dating. To be clear <strong>–</strong> like a massive<br />

senior photo. Uhh…thanks.<br />

17. A re-gifted salad spinner. <strong>The</strong>y<br />

thought I would appreciate it<br />

because I was eating healthy.<br />

18. A pink camouflage jacket. If<br />

a woman wants to wear camo, it<br />

doesn’t have to be pink. And if a<br />

woman says she likes pink camo,<br />

she’s lying and doesn’t want to hurt<br />

your feelings.<br />


20. My mother-in-law bought me a<br />

bed in a bag at a Family Dollar and<br />

the dye in the sheets stained my<br />

mattress.<br />

21. <strong>The</strong> hubs once gifted me a<br />

black FUR dress. Yes, fur <strong>–</strong> like a<br />

Muppet. And it didn’t fit. Thank<br />

goodness. And the store from<br />

which he purchased it had a no<br />

return policy.<br />

22. An Olive Garden gift card from<br />

my husband. Does anybody like<br />

Olive Garden?<br />

23. I got a 20 lb. giant blue<br />

vase/bowl from my brother. My<br />

sisters and I have been regifting<br />

it for years.<br />

24. My ex-husband booked us<br />

a trip to Daytona Beach to see<br />

friends. Only they were his friends<br />

and it was at the Daytona 500 and<br />

I hate Nascar.<br />

25. A star map from our first date.<br />

26. My mother-in-law decided we<br />

are not giving each other presents<br />

this year. We are buying a fruit<br />

tree for poor people in some other<br />

country.<br />


28. Socks. Not decorative ones.<br />

Just plain old white six-pack of<br />

socks.<br />

29. A LIFE JACKET.<br />

30. An adult size onesie.





You see it too often in the world<br />

of sports <strong>–</strong> star players waiting to<br />

throw in the towel until they’re past<br />

their prime. But Cass County Sheriff<br />

Paul Laney refuses to become the<br />

quarterback that plays a couple<br />

seasons too long at the expense of<br />

his team.<br />

When he announced he wouldn’t<br />

be running for a fourth term back<br />

in <strong>December</strong> 2017, the 52-year-old<br />

North Dakota native was inevitably<br />

bombarded with the same question<br />

again and again, “Why are you<br />

leaving now?”<br />

“As leaders <strong>–</strong> and especially as<br />

elected leaders <strong>–</strong> as important as it is<br />

to know when you're ready to do this<br />

(job), it's as important to know when<br />

it's time to go," he said. "I'll miss<br />

knowing that every single day I woke<br />

up and put on this uniform, I made a<br />

difference. But I feel I can leave with<br />

a sense of mission accomplished,<br />

and then my wife and I can go on to<br />

the next adventure.”<br />

Come January 1, 2019, the 1984<br />

West Fargo High School grad (and<br />

proud Packer) will hang up his gun<br />

belt and pursue his next adventure.<br />


Enlisting in the Marine Corps in<br />

1984, Laney immediately served<br />

four years active duty with MSSG-<br />

13 of the 13th Marine Expeditionary<br />

Unit after high school.<br />

"That was probably the best four<br />

years of my life in the sense that I<br />

was a young man getting paid to see<br />

the world,” he said. “I was learning<br />

leadership at some of the highest<br />

levels from some of the most amazing<br />

leaders I could’ve ever asked to learn<br />

from. It laid a foundation for me<br />

second to none.”<br />

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“I'll miss knowing<br />

that every single day<br />

I woke up and<br />

put on this uniform,<br />

I made a difference.”<br />

<strong>–</strong> Paul Laney<br />

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"I love people<br />

and I thought,<br />

there's no<br />

better job for<br />

me than to<br />

work directly<br />

for the people.”<br />

<strong>–</strong> Paul Laney<br />

<strong>The</strong> “lead, follow, get-out-of-the-way”<br />

Marine philosophy was one he’d take with<br />

him.<br />

"My mom said, 'I sent away a boy and a<br />

young man came home.’ I felt that way,<br />

too,” he said. “I came home confident,<br />

believing I could attain whatever I<br />

wanted to if I worked hard enough.”<br />

Leaving the military wasn’t an easy<br />

choice to make. Laney thrived<br />

on the discipline, fitness and<br />

camaraderie that all came with<br />

being a Marine. In fact, he<br />

contemplated making a career<br />

of it, but in his heart, his other<br />

childhood dream was calling.<br />

"I tested with the (Los<br />

Angeles Police Department). I went<br />

through my interviews and was on<br />

their hiring list when I decided, ‘No,<br />

I want to do this same thing... but I<br />

want to do it for my community," he<br />

said.<br />


Returning to the Red River Valley<br />

in 1989, Laney was hired by the<br />

Fargo Police Department and<br />

quickly climbed the ranks from<br />

patrol officer to field training officer<br />

(FTO), gang/narcotics unit and<br />

tactical team member. Promoted<br />

to sergeant in 1997, he supervised<br />

the patrol shift, FTO program and<br />

eventually became a leader of the<br />

Red River Valley SWAT Team. In<br />

2002, he was named lieutenant and<br />

served as both district and SWAT<br />

commander.<br />

"I had reached a point in 2006<br />

where I had just finished my<br />

master’s degree (in management),”<br />

he recalled. “I was at the stage in<br />

my career where I loved where I<br />

was at and what I did but I wanted<br />

to spread my wings in my own<br />

agency.”<br />

When the Cass County sheriff<br />

position opened up, something<br />

clicked.<br />

"I love people and I thought, there's<br />

no better job for me than to work<br />

directly for the people," he said.<br />

"<strong>The</strong> fact that I had the ability to<br />

supervise, lead and command every<br />

aspect of law enforcement prepared<br />

me to take the helm of the largest<br />

sheriff's office in the state of North<br />

Dakota.”<br />

Elected to a four-year term, Laney<br />

was sworn in as Cass County sheriff<br />

on January 2, 2007, and easily won<br />

re-election for a second and third<br />

term in the years following.<br />


Looking back on 12 years as sheriff,<br />

a flood of memories rushed through<br />

Laney’s mind.<br />

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His first glimmer of the spotlight<br />

came in October 2007, surrounding<br />

the Ozzy Osbourne concert. Guests<br />

were formally invited to what they<br />

thought was a pre-concert party,<br />

only to find Laney and his team<br />

were behind a sting operation with a<br />

guest list containing only those with<br />

active warrants out for their arrest.<br />

Announcing 50 arrests at a press<br />

conference the next day, the sheriff’s<br />

office quickly caught flack from<br />

Osbourne and his publicist. Rolling<br />

Stone, MTV, <strong>The</strong> Telegraph UK<br />

and other media covered the story,<br />

encouraging both fan and hate mail<br />

for the creative stunt.<br />

"I think it was the first opportunity<br />

the public really got to see me as a<br />

leader and say, ‘This guy is different.<br />

He's going to think outside the box.<br />

That's who our sheriff is.’”<br />

But that was just the beginning.<br />

In 2008, Laney handled the first<br />

train derailment near Page, N.D.,<br />

and 2009 to 2011, Mother Nature<br />

struck with vengeance, flooding the<br />

Red River Valley.<br />

"That’s when I believe people really<br />

got to see my ability to command<br />

and how service to the community<br />

came before anything," he said.<br />

In 2011, Laney was named the<br />

E911 Institute’s “Government<br />

Leader of the Year.” Following that,<br />

awards continued to trickle in with<br />

the National Sheriff’s Association<br />

Ferris E. Lucas “National Sheriff<br />

of the Year” in 2012 and the Lone<br />

Eagle Award for “Outstanding and<br />

Dedicated Law Enforcement in the<br />

State of North Dakota” in 2015.<br />

Looking back, however, his grim<br />

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"It was spooky out there because<br />

every day we wondered, is this the<br />

day we're going to take a bullet?”<br />

<strong>–</strong> Paul Laney<br />

memories of the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) protests in<br />

2016 and 2017 seemed to overshadow all of the accolades.<br />

Leading law enforcement efforts 15 hours a day, seven days<br />

a week, Laney and his team received death threats for their<br />

involvement.<br />

"That was a really scary time for our family. (Protesters) doxxed<br />

out a picture of my home address with a picture of a bullet. It<br />

went viral and on the dark web," he said. "It was spooky out<br />

there because every day we wondered, is this the day we're<br />

going to take a bullet?”<br />

But even death threats wouldn’t stop Laney from doing a job he<br />

was so passionate about.<br />

"In 30 years, I've seen the best of society and the worst of<br />

society. But I've always known that if I went about my duties<br />

with honor, integrity and pride, I could make a difference for<br />

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good and that's what I strive to do<br />

every day," he said.<br />

As a bit of poetic justice, the<br />

motivation behind Laney taking the<br />

job in the first place is the same one<br />

he’ll miss the most when he leaves:<br />

the people.<br />

"I'll miss the banter and camaraderie<br />

<strong>–</strong> that total fulfillment knowing these<br />

people have your back and they know<br />

you've got theirs,” he said. “I'm not<br />

leaving because I don't like it, and I'm<br />

not leaving because I'm burned out.<br />

I'm leaving because I feel it's time<br />

<strong>–</strong> that I've done what I promised I<br />

would do for a community I love.”<br />

As Laney prepares to hand off the<br />

reigns to the next Cass County sheriff,<br />

he says the key is trusting in the men<br />

and women of the organization and<br />

what they bring to the table. His<br />

motto will remain with him until<br />

his last day as sheriff: “service and<br />

sacrifice before self.”<br />

When elected, “you asked the public<br />

to give you this trust, and now you<br />

need to give them back everything<br />

you got, even at your own expense,”<br />

he said. “As law enforcement officers,<br />

we belong to the community. Some<br />

days we have to be their guardians.<br />

Some days we have to be their<br />

warriors. Prepare yourself to be all<br />

of the above.”<br />


As his career in law enforcement<br />

comes to an end, Laney is adamant<br />

about giving his family the attention<br />

they deserve, including his daughters<br />

Danielle, 21, and Kaitlyn (Katie), 19.<br />

"<strong>The</strong>y're the ones that suffer through<br />

this career,” he said. “<strong>The</strong>y're the<br />

ones that had to watch me run<br />

out the door for the next critical<br />

incident. During the pipeline protest,<br />

I missed Katie's entire senior year of<br />

volleyball.”<br />

Though it was a lot to ask of his<br />

daughters, they never complained.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y knew the sacrifices that came<br />

with being a cop's kid. Laney’s wife,<br />

Patty, has also been extremely<br />

supportive of his every move.<br />

"She’s probably one of the biggest<br />

reasons I've had success in the<br />

sheriff's world,” he said. “She's been<br />

my rock, and I can't imagine having<br />

gone on this sheriff's adventure<br />

without her.”<br />

At the end of the year, Laney and his<br />

wife will head to northern Minnesota<br />

and their new home.<br />

“We knew years ago when we were<br />

done with the crazy, law enforcement<br />

life, we would settle down to a more<br />

peaceful life. A little less life and<br />

death and a lot more life," he said.<br />

“I found my peace. I'm a different<br />

person up there.”<br />

Offered a vice president role<br />

at TurnKey Corrections, a law<br />

enforcement technology company,<br />

Laney will start his new gig sometime<br />

in January. Laney’s familiarity with<br />

the language and network will come<br />

in handy, but this time, he’ll witness<br />

law enforcement from a different<br />

perspective.<br />


When time slows, Laney looks<br />

forward to fishing for walleye and<br />


trout, snowmobiling and hiking <strong>–</strong> his<br />

goal being to conquer the 310-mile<br />

Superior Hiking Trail from Canada to<br />

Duluth by the time he turns 55.<br />

“I just love to get out in the outdoors<br />

and take in God's beauty,” he said.<br />

“(Patty and I) enjoy spending a lot of<br />

time together, but when you carry two<br />

phones and you're basically in criticalincident<br />

ready mode at all times, you<br />

never really decompress.”<br />

In fact, one of his former captains,<br />

Judy Tollefson, used to refer to him as<br />

“hair on fire guy.”<br />

"She said, 'Everywhere you go, you<br />

never slow down. You're always<br />

engaged in something,'" Laney said.<br />

"Hopefully, I'll learn some ways to<br />

be a little less high speed, a little less<br />

'hair on fire guy,' and a little more<br />

calm, cool, dad dude.”<br />

When asked to define the good life,<br />

Laney didn’t hesitate.<br />

"<strong>The</strong> good life to me has been for 30<br />

years I've woken up to a family who<br />

loved me. I got to go to a place that<br />

wasn't a job, it was my passion. And<br />

every day I got to make a difference<br />

in the community I loved. That is the<br />

good life," he said. "As I move on to<br />

the next adventure, I hope I can find<br />

that same fulfillment." •<br />

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I am an engineer; wired to observe the realities of this<br />

world. For 50 years I’ve witnessed this reality: men<br />

tend to trail behind women when it comes to spiritual<br />

intensity. I’ve seen many families where mom is active<br />

in her faith and local church but dad isn’t; very rare<br />

that dad is active and mom is not. Having worked with<br />

teenagers for years, it’s common for teens to step away<br />

from faith when dad isn’t actively engaged.<br />

As a pastor, I have a burning desire to help men grow<br />

spiritually. When a man grows spiritually there’s a<br />

significant positive ripple effect in the lives of his family,<br />

business, and neighborhood that lasts for generations.<br />

In the Bible, God is searching: I looked for someone<br />

among them who would build up the wall and stand<br />

before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would<br />

not have to destroy it, but I found no one (Ezekiel<br />

22:30).<br />

God was looking for someone who would stay true<br />

to Him amidst all the temptations this world offers;<br />

someone who would fight for their spouse, children,<br />

church, and pastor; someone quick to forgive, seek<br />

forgiveness, and focus on unity; someone who was all<br />

out devoted and all in surrendered to God. And God<br />

found? No one. My prayer is that when God searches<br />

the Red River Valley, He finds 1,000s of men who fit<br />

this description!<br />

In Judges Chapters 13-16, Samson was a powerful<br />

man continually plagued with a dangerously weak<br />

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LUST<br />


PRIDE<br />

Just like Samson, you are wired for greatness<br />

but we must learn from his mistakes. As men,<br />

we sometimes make great commitments to<br />

inferior causes and it costs us dearly.<br />

will. Samson was a miracle baby; created to help the<br />

Israelites find freedom from the Philistines. Samson<br />

made three vows to demonstrate his commitment to<br />

God and God alone. He was to never drink alcohol,<br />

touch anything dead, or cut his hair.<br />

Just like Samson, you are wired for greatness but we<br />

must learn from his mistakes. As men, we sometimes<br />

make great commitments to inferior causes and it<br />

costs us dearly. We may spend more time researching<br />

what rifle or TV to buy than we spend reading the<br />

Bible, building spiritual strength. <strong>The</strong>re are men who<br />

are aggressive in their work or hobbies but passive in<br />

leading their family spiritually; men who are passionate<br />

about their favorite sports team but have no zest for<br />

God.<br />

<strong>The</strong>re are three attitudes, displayed by Samson, that<br />

make strong men weak.<br />

Lust is when a man sees something he desires, his<br />

emotions kick in and he must have it. And when a<br />

man obsesses about his desire, he forgets all logic<br />

and his values. He may lust after a woman, a career<br />

advancement, a boat, or a challenge to conquer.<br />

Samson went into Philistine territory and saw a<br />

gorgeous woman ( Judges 14:1-3). He had to have her<br />

even though he was not to intermarry with someone<br />

who did not worship God. “I want it” makes strong men<br />

weak.<br />

Samson tears a young lion apart with his bare hands.<br />

Later he passes the dead carcass and it contains a<br />

swarm of bees and honey. He violates his vow by eating<br />

the honey ( Judges 14:5-9). Entitlement says “I deserve<br />

it.” I killed the lion, I haven’t had honey for months, it<br />

looks so good…I deserve some. I’ve been working hard,<br />

putting in long hours…I deserve to buy that boat. She<br />

has been moody and distant lately…I deserve to explore<br />

a romantic relationship outside of my marriage. “I<br />

deserve it” makes strong men weak.<br />

Samson, despite his vow, throws a bachelor keg party<br />

( Judges 14:10). Pride says “I can handle it. Other men<br />

have struggled with this but not me.” This jacked guy,<br />

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uilt like a brick wall, says “I’m<br />

strong, I can handle it” and his party<br />

becomes a huge mistake!<br />

This is what happens to strong,<br />

well-intentioned men, over and<br />

over again. God gives us great gifts,<br />

amazing opportunities, unlimited<br />

potential and we think: “Just one<br />

drink, one smoke, one pill; I deserve<br />

it, I can handle it. I want it.” And<br />

before long that substance owns us.<br />

“I deserve that motorcycle. It won’t<br />

distract me.” And before long we are<br />

drowning in debt, absent from our<br />

family and that toy owns us. “I’m<br />

just going to flirt. I can handle it. It’s<br />

not a big deal if she stays overnight.<br />

I deserve some sexual pleasure.”<br />

At the end of Samson’s life, his<br />

eyes are gouged out, his hair cut,<br />

bound with chains on public display<br />

in front of 3,000 enemies. He is<br />

the entertainment as they laugh at<br />

him. Lust, entitlement, and pride<br />

can take you somewhere you don’t<br />

EVER want to go; far deeper into<br />

sin and destruction than you could<br />

imagine.<br />





With God’s power, no matter where<br />

you are, YOU can be changed. A<br />

real man says “God, I want you.<br />

Thank you for offering me a new<br />

start. I don’t deserve anything. All I<br />

have is a gift from you. You died for<br />

my salvation. I’m weak. I need your<br />

strength and guidance.” What do<br />

you need to ask God for today? Our<br />

enemy, satan, loves to make strong<br />

men weak; satan sucks. God loves<br />

to make weak men strong; God<br />

rocks! •<br />

Jon Hauser<br />

Jon is the founding and senior<br />

pastor at www.prairieheights.com<br />

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A Community Anchor for Kids and Families<br />



CHARISM, pronounced “Care-ism,” is a nonprofit<br />

organization currently centered in the Jefferson<br />

Neighborhood of Fargo, grounded in a caring mission for<br />

at-risk children and their families. CHARISM’s acronym<br />

translates to “Community Homes and Resources in<br />

Service to Many,” and current Executive Director, John<br />

Fisher, described the idea behind the organization as<br />

coming from the definition of “CHARISM”: “gift of<br />

grace and strength.” To Fisher, serving with grace and<br />

strength is what drives CHARISM.<br />

CHARISM’s acronym translates to<br />

“Community Homes and Resources<br />

in Service to Many.”<br />

CHARISM is a neighborhood support center for<br />

underserved youth and their families, providing<br />

programs and services to improve their quality of life.<br />

<strong>The</strong>ir programs foster neighborhood connections<br />

as well as providing a safe and welcoming place for<br />

students.<br />

Fisher, serving in the executive director’s role for the<br />

past three years, described CHARISM’s mission as<br />

“empowering people:” “Some kids do not feel like they<br />

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are good enough. We want to show them the world <strong>–</strong><br />

that there are possibilities. We want them to know that<br />

their story is not written and to not live as if it is. <strong>The</strong>y<br />

have the opportunity and the drive. Go for it. <strong>The</strong>y can<br />

change the story.”<br />

CHARISM’s mission and programs provide “a<br />

safe anchor point for people,” explained Fisher. He<br />

continued: “And when you are connected to an anchor<br />

you do not stay in just that one spot. You move… you<br />

might drift one way or the other for good or bad. But<br />

you are always tethered to something you can go back<br />

to. We will always be there and accepting them with<br />

strength and grace.”<br />

Established in 1994 in Fargo by five local churches<br />

collaborating with Community Homes, CHARISM is<br />

not a religious organization. Fisher explained that the<br />

churches and Community Homes all saw the need to<br />

do more than provide housing. One of their first steps<br />

was establishing a director for leadership and Julie<br />

Gunkelman was the original director, serving for 21<br />

years until her retirement in 2015. Fisher applauded<br />

Gunkelman for serving “vigorously and with great skill”<br />

during her tenure at CHARISM.<br />

Three of CHARISM’s main programs are the Check<br />

and Connect Youth Program, STEAM programming,<br />

and GAP.<br />

Check and Connect is, according to Fisher, a “brainchild<br />

of University of Minnesota Extension” and CHARISM<br />

currently has it implemented in Ed Clapp, Jefferson,<br />

Fargo South, and Carl Ben schools. It has two parts:<br />

(1) check on the students <strong>–</strong> their attendance, grades<br />

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“Some kids do not feel like they are good<br />

enough. We want to show them the world <strong>–</strong> that<br />

there are possibilities. We want them to know<br />

that their story is not written and to not live as if<br />

it is. <strong>The</strong>y have the opportunity and the drive. Go<br />

for it. <strong>The</strong>y can change the story.” <strong>–</strong> John Fischer<br />

and behavior and (2) monitor the students. CHARISM adds students<br />

to their caseload with parents’ permission. CHARISM staff looks at<br />

removing barriers to the student’s success, asking questions such<br />

as “What is keeping the student from getting to school on time?”<br />

Fisher explained: “Many things can create a barrier and contribute<br />

to a student struggling.” James Nagbe, a Check and Connect Mentor<br />

and Development Director, according to Fisher, has been “pivotal”<br />

in getting Check and Connect off the ground and keeping it moving<br />

forward and has many students in his caseload. He involves the<br />

students, parents and teachers in the solution.<br />

CHARISM also administers an After School STEAM (Science<br />

Technology Engineering Arts and Math) Club serving Lewis and<br />

Clark, Ed Clapp, Jefferson Elementary Schools and Carl Ben Middle<br />

School.<br />

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CHARISM’s Grocery Assistance Program (GAP) provides<br />

food for up to 150 families a week. On Tuesday and Thursday<br />

afternoons and Friday mornings, CHARISM passes along<br />

food from the Great Plains Food Bank to “people who need<br />

it the most.” Fisher continued: “<strong>The</strong> food pantries can only<br />

give people food on a regimented basis. That leaves gaps. We<br />

want to fill that gap. We have some people that come to us<br />

where we are their main food source.”<br />

In addition to the three signature programs, CHARISM also<br />

hosts other outreach events and runs a community garden.<br />

CHARISM serves clients from many ethnicities including<br />

Indian, Bhutanese, Nepalese, Vietnamese, and many West<br />

African countries. Fisher posed, “If you want to see the<br />

world, come to our Food Pantry or to one of our programs.”<br />

Fisher has goals including “a pipe dream” that CHARISM<br />

would be “doing our programming in every community<br />

school in Cass and Clay Counties that need our help.” He<br />

wants to grow the Check and Connect program at every<br />

school: “We have this misconception that schools are going<br />

to take care of everything. And they can’t. And they need help.<br />

<strong>The</strong>y need the CHARISMs of the world to walk with them<br />

and help them.”<br />

Fisher wants CHARISM to be a household name in our<br />

community <strong>–</strong> a “known entity.”<br />

Fisher said, “CHARISM is a real team. <strong>The</strong> real heroes are<br />

on my team working with people every day. And our clientele<br />

is for the most part very appreciative and hard-working,<br />

looking out for their families.”<br />

“<strong>The</strong> real heroes are on my team<br />

working with people every day. ”<br />

<strong>–</strong> John Fischer<br />

Directing CHARISM is personal for Fisher, coming from a<br />

family who struggled financially: “I remembered when they<br />

came into our house and repossessed all of our furniture. I<br />

have been there and so many of us have, not knowing where<br />

the next meal is coming from. My mom could not afford<br />

childcare so I remember playing in the employee break room<br />

at the sewing shop where my mom was employed.” Fisher<br />

continued: “It is tremendously personal to me, this work we<br />

do.” Fisher remembers a turning point as a child when he<br />

was “kicked out” of his church’s youth group for heckling.<br />

<strong>The</strong> youth minister talked to him and said, “You are better<br />

than this.” Fisher described it as a “turning point” in his life.<br />

“<strong>The</strong> people we work with, many are trying to find a job and<br />

provide for their family. We help them with interview skills,<br />

applying for the jobs while keeping their children safe in<br />

a good environment,” Fisher asserted. CHARISM’s afterschool<br />

program provides quality care and a safe space from<br />

2 pm <strong>–</strong> 6 pm. <strong>The</strong>y even take some children home afterward<br />

to give the parents the extra amount of time to work or find<br />

work.<br />

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CHARISM’s Over the Edge<br />

Fundraiser<br />

Fisher explained, “We have people in our<br />

community who do not have an anchor <strong>–</strong> no<br />

family here. Most of the rest of us have extended<br />

family to go to in times of need. <strong>The</strong>y don’t have<br />

that. <strong>The</strong>y did nothing wrong; they are working<br />

their tails off and they need a little bit of help.”<br />

But help costs money. CHARISM has a<br />

sliding scale for payment for their after-school<br />

program: “It costs us $17 a day to do it and most<br />

participants pay from $1-2 a day.”<br />

Giving Hearts is also a big fundraiser for CHARISM. This<br />

year, they are also thankful that FM Raise Your Spirits<br />

selected CHARISM as its recipient for the proceeds from the<br />

FM Raise Your Spirits event.<br />

Fisher mentioned three specific organizations as “wonderful<br />

partners”: United Way of Cass and Clay County, Southeast<br />

That is where fundraising and donations come<br />

in. Because CHARISM’s fee for service is so low,<br />

CHARISM relies on private donations, grants<br />

and fundraising events.<br />

One recent event for CHARISM was the Over<br />

the Edge fundraiser, which they have facilitated<br />

in 2017 and <strong>2018</strong>. People raised funds by<br />

rappelling over the Black Building in downtown<br />

Fargo. Fisher said, “It is just a blast. Participants<br />

had a great time.”<br />

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Education Cooperative and the FM Area Foundation.<br />

Light the Way is another fundraiser <strong>–</strong> a gala-style<br />

event where they recognize community heroes,<br />

volunteers and the people they serve.<br />

Fisher described CHARISM’s Executive Board as<br />

“tremendously supportive,” including the officers<br />

<strong>–</strong> Board Chair, Terry Stroh; Kevin Zimmer; Eddie<br />

Scheely; and Dr. Forrest Sauer: “<strong>The</strong>y put in a ton<br />

of time for us and are great advocates.”<br />

CHARISM currently has seven full-time staff, two<br />

full-time volunteers, and 15-25 part-time people.<br />

Residing in Moorhead, Fisher has been married to<br />

and is “totally in love with” his wife Abby of twelve<br />

years. <strong>The</strong>y have “three great children,” Julia, Esther<br />

and John. Originally from Kentucky and Tennessee,<br />

Fisher is also a pastor and started the downtown<br />

Fargo church, Sojourn.<br />

When asked, “What does the good life mean<br />

to you?” Fisher responded: “<strong>The</strong> good life<br />

is my background, my faith and what I do<br />

with CHARISM. It is people that are either<br />

fulfilling or living the life that they feel<br />

best serves themselves and those around<br />

them, that they are intrinsically feeling<br />

value, success and love but they are also<br />

dispensing that love to others <strong>–</strong> showing<br />

others that they are valued and loved.” He<br />

continued: “I think about the most joy-filled<br />

people I know, and they do not have a lot of<br />

money, but they give a lot <strong>–</strong> they invest a lot<br />

in others.” •<br />

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 35

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