Get Out! GAY Magazine – Issue 398 December 19, 2018

The holidays are upon
us! That may mean
celebrating with loved
ones, traveling to see
family or just pigging
out on desserts. A
lot of us are able to
jump into “the holiday
spirit” easily, but not
everyone is in the same
sleigh. Yearly rates of
depression tend to
reach their peak during
the holidays, and a lot
of you might already be
thinking of the impact.
THOMAS
TALKS
ABOUT: HERE COME
I moved here with my
now ex-boyfriend.
We broke up, and he
walked out. We’re
from Kansas, but now
it’s too late for me to
go back for Christmas.
I don’t have a lot of
friends here, and the
ones I do have all seem
to be leaving. This is
going to be my first
Christmas alone, and
I’m thinking it’s going
to be awful. I can’t
afford to go away, and
I’m
afraid it’s going to
turn into me just
sitting in my apartment
crying, drinking or just
being miserable.
What would you tell
someone who’s already
expecting to wallow
and be a little Grinch?
- Male, Gay, 25
Being alone during the
holiday can be tough
(I’ve been there). But it
can also be enjoyable.
Don’t wait to see how
you feel Christmas
morning; instead, plan
the day out ahead of
time so that when you
wake up, you have a list
of things to do that you
genuinely enjoy. This
could mean exploring
the mostly empty city,
going to a daytime
movie or even staying
inside. If you stay inside,
plan that out too—
maybe you’re going to
cook your favorite fivecourse
meal, finally read
that book you’ve been
meaning to or dance
to your favorite music.
Be creative and give
yourself the holiday you
want to have, regardless
of being alone.
My mother died on
Christmas when I was
a kid, and it still sticks
with me. I think that’s
mostly normal; this
stuff isn’t easy to get
SANTA BLUES
over. I usually spend
Christmas day alone
remembering her. I
have a new boyfriend
this year, and he’s
really excited about
spending the holidays
with me. I don’t want
to ruin it, and although
he knows that my mom
died on Christmas,
he doesn’t know that
I usually don’t do
anything to celebrate.
He wants us to go out
around the city and
do a million things; I
just sort of want to sit
home and think about
her. I don’t know how
to talk to him about
it without him being
disappointed. - Male,
Gay, 34
I see a couple options
here. You could let
him know how you feel
and what you usually
do. Perhaps offer to
celebrate Christmas
on a different day. You
could also negotiate so
that you spend half the
day with him and the
other half with yourself.
Or, you try something
different this year and
see how you feel. It’s
not easy to get over the
death of a loved one,
but I gotta wonder what
she might tell you to
do?
Sex/Love/Relationship advice? Send your questions to: ThomasTalksAbout@gmail.com
@ThomasWhitfield84