NOTA News Newsletter July 2018 1

wouldn’t have conversations about
consent with their peers. This feedback
made the importance of resources that
tackles consent even more apparent.
Pete: Thalia and I were keen to make
the book inclusive, with a range of
characters that teenagers could
hopefully relate to. The diversity of the
Cowley area of Oxford where we were
all living is a good start, and once
Joseph had created some characters,
we shared his initial sketches with
groups of young people. They were very
willing to comment on everything from
trainers to hairstyles. Although we made
up the storyline ourselves, throughout
the process of writing the book we
consulted with teenagers in schools, at
a local music project and through the
charity SAFE!, getting help on language,
checking relevance and noting which
bits they felt worked less well - almost
all of them suggested that there should
be more swearing... The end product
is by no means perfect. However, I was
touched to hear from a friend that she
had spotted her teenage son reading it
on the stairs.
How do you manage your
time as a senior practitioner
and a therapist with writing
and publishing texts and what
advice would you give to other
practitioners who might have
ambitions to write?
Pete: It is hard sometimes to find time
to write, and it tends to get squeezed
round the edges of the day - early
morning or late in the evening. Train
journeys are a really good time to write.
I would really encourage anyone to
have a go at writing, and also to try
approaching a publisher like Jessica
Kingsley with ideas. Initially I felt
much too green and inexperienced to
believe that I had anything to offer, but
discovered that if you have worked
in a particular field for even just a few
years, you quickly gain experience and
expertise which is worth sharing. I have
collaborated with other practitioners
on several books, and always ask for
feedback and advice from colleagues
and friends, whose generosity makes
the end product much improved on
what I could achieve on my own.
Thalia: We engaged in the process
of writing this book over a long period
time. Sometimes our time was spent
jigging and re-jigging ideas about the
storyline, characters and dialogue,
and other times we were engaging in
focus groups or waiting on feedback
from colleagues - so the intensity of
the writing process was constantly
changing. Pete is my Dad so we were
able to be flexible with each other
around when we met up, and our
writing process often spilled into family
time and involved bouncing ideas off
family members and friends. My work
involves a lot of conversations, writing
resources and delivering training
around the issues explored in the book
so I found the process of working
and writing in parallel very satisfying
as I could continuously relate each
aspect of my life to the other. My advice
to anyone else hoping to write is to
choose a topic that you’re passionate
about so that making the time doesn’t
feel like such a chore!
Finally, in your practice what
tools, techniques or approaches
do you find to be particularly
effective when working with
young people in relation to sex
and relationships?
Thalia: It depends on the context
of my work! When I work 1:1 I am
often engaging with young people
who have been affected and harmed
by crime, including sexual violence.
Every young person is different so I
use a client-centred approach and
use lots of Protective Behaviours tools
and resources which allow young
people to use storytelling and crafts to
explore their unmet needs, internal and
external sense of safety and foster an
adventurous outlook on life after crime.
When working with groups of young
people in a school or community
setting, I adopt a psycho-educational
approach to explore what informs our
attitudes, beliefs and behaviour, unpick
the ‘freedom and capacity’ aspects
of the definition of consent (Sexual
Offences Act; 2003) and explore what
healthy relationships look and feel like
(using scenarios and case studies from
the media). My approach is aimed to
equip and encourage young people to
listen to their bodies, believe that they
are in control of their bodies and take
responsibility for being respectful of the
boundaries and bodies of others. I use
many of the questions and resources at
the back of ‘What Does Consent Really
Mean?’ to open discussions with young
people both 1:1 and in groups, as we
know an understanding of consent
and healthy relationships is one of
the biggest protective factors against
sexual violence.
Pete: Most of my work is in the youth
justice field, with young people who
have caused harm or been harmed,
including cases involving sexual abuse.
I use the restorative approach, which is
neutral, impartial and non-judgmental,
and starts with exploring where each
young person is at, individually. The
approach offers a safe space for
young people - both the harmed
and the harmer - to share what has
happened, if they would like to, and
invites them to explore their thoughts
and feelings about their experience. It
considers who has been affected by
what happened, and then encourages
each young person to explore what
they need to feel better. Finally, it
empowers the young people to find
their own way forward, ensuring that
they feel in control and have choices.
Often these individual conversations
are as far as the restorative process
goes (although there may be other
ongoing interventions, for example,
if the perpetrator is on a court order
or other programme addressing their
behaviour). It can sometimes be the
case, however, that what will really meet
the needs of both parties is a face to
face meeting. With proper assessment
and preparation, restorative meetings
can be powerful and helpful, potentially
enabling the person who caused the
harm to face up and take responsibility
for their actions, and the person harmed
to regain a sense of control and safety,
and receive reassurance that they won’t
be targeted again.
Pete Wallis, Senior Practitioner in
Restorative Justice
Thalia Wallis, Relational
Psychotherapist
www.nota.co.uk conference@nota.co.uk @notaevents
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