Sanda_Issue_January-2019

elationship
36 wellness
Mad At Them?
Anger can spring up in most
relationships from time to time.
But when you can’t let go of anger
towards a loved one it can have a
serious impact. Perhaps you still
feel angry towards a brother or
sister for something they did to
you years ago. Or maybe you can’t
stop replaying an argument with
your spouse and feel your temper
rising every time you think about
how they have upset you.
The problem is, until you can let
go of the anger, it’s hard to move
on. And if you feel anger every
time you see or speak to your
loved one, it’s hard to find space
for love and positivity within your
relationship.
So, how can you find a way
to get rid of the anger? Here are
some techniques:
See things from a
different point of view
What exactly has made you
angry? Is it the words or behaviour
of a loved one? Try seeing things
from their perspective. Is there a
reason why they’ve behaved in a
particular way? Are they feeling
stressed, worried or scared? If you
can empathise with someone, even
though they’ve made you angry,
it’s a good first step to being able
to forgive them.
Decide not to act on
the anger
Just because you feel angry, it
doesn’t mean you have to act on
your feelings every time you see
– or speak to your loved one. Stop
thinking about winning a battle or
seeking revenge. Just accept that
you feel angry but decide it’s not
worth constant arguments and bad
feelings. As you give less thought
to the situation, your anger will
naturally subside.
Say ‘I forgive you’
If the person who has made
you angry has apologised, choose
to forgive them and move on. Say
‘I forgive you’ out loud to create
a strong feeling of acceptance
in your own mind. You don’t
even need to say this directly to
your loved one, simply saying it
privately can help you release the
feelings of anger.
Write a letter
Often when we’re angry with
someone, we constantly
list all the reasons we’re
mad at them in our
heads. This can create
a vicious cycle where we become
even more frustrated. If you’re
feeling resentful or cross towards
someone, write them a letter. You
don’t have to send it but getting
your thoughts down on paper will
help you stop dwelling on negative
thoughts.
Find new ways to
channel your anger
Being angry can often have a
negative impact on our physical
and mental health. Perhaps
your muscles are tense, or you
experience stomach pains when
the anger starts to rise. Find an
activity you can do to take your
thoughts away from the anger.
If you like being active, going
for a run or lifting weights could
help you relieve the tension. Or if
you prefer to relax, perhaps take
a warm bath or read a book to
help restore feelings of calm. By
practising self-care, you’ll become
more relaxed in everyday life and
find it easier to deal with angry
thoughts.
yourwellness.com