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RELATIONSHIPS<br />
Unfortunately, there is no<br />
formula to determine when<br />
texting crosses the line into<br />
betrayal. In fact, those who are<br />
behaving in inappropriate ways<br />
quickly learn how to blur this<br />
line so that they can deflect and<br />
continue to do what they’re<br />
doing.In the end, you must<br />
learn to trust your gut.<br />
After all, no one knows your<br />
marriage or your spouse better<br />
communications strictly workrelated,<br />
being transparent<br />
in terms of cell phones and<br />
computers (those who have<br />
nothing to hide, hide nothing),<br />
and working together to<br />
improve your own marriage are<br />
all reasonable requests.<br />
To prevent and overcome<br />
infidelity, couples must learn to<br />
build a loving, respectful and<br />
protective “fortress” around<br />
that they have formed a deep<br />
bond. Too often what begins<br />
as a cautious “hi...was thinking<br />
of u” turns into “i miss u”<br />
and then “can you meet again<br />
tomorrow?” And when it gets to<br />
that point, well, the whole thing<br />
becomes a lot harder to “delete.”<br />
Visit Debra Macleod’s private<br />
practice at MarriageSOS.com<br />
there is a reasonable expectation<br />
of privacy in marriage. Of<br />
than you do. Texting affairs are<br />
the gateway to emotional and<br />
physical affairs. Of the infidelity<br />
cases I’ve dealt with in the past<br />
several years, the vast majority<br />
started out as “innocent” texting<br />
between opposite-sex friends<br />
or acquaintances. You are<br />
not over-reacting by insisting<br />
that a spouse end a texting<br />
relationship that you feel in<br />
your heart is undermining your<br />
marriage, and you are not overreacting<br />
by treating it as a form<br />
of infidelity.<br />
Blocking the other<br />
person’s number, keeping<br />
their marriage, which includes<br />
insulating it from the invasive<br />
effects of technology. That’s<br />
something I talk a lot about in<br />
my Couples in Crisis book.<br />
Continued inaction or letting<br />
the texting continue -- perhaps<br />
out of fear of your partner’s<br />
reaction -- only increases the<br />
chances that your partner will<br />
begin to see you as a nagging<br />
barrier to the exciting and<br />
fresh-faced relationship that he<br />
or she enjoys via text messages.<br />
Texting creates a false sense<br />
of intimacy between texters.<br />
Within weeks, they may feel<br />
course some co-workers and<br />
friends need to communicate<br />
after-hours. Of course there<br />
are unhappy marriages that<br />
have deep problems. But that’s<br />
not always the case. Suspicions<br />
are often warranted. Anger,<br />
defensiveness and indignation<br />
may be covers for betrayal.<br />
Explanations may be just<br />
excuses. And all too often, a<br />
texting affair steals so much<br />
time, energy and emotion from<br />
a marriage that a rift forms -- or<br />
widens -- between spouses that<br />
otherwise would have worked<br />
through their marriage troubles.
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