Babypalooza Magazine Spring 2019

Pregnant women agonize over the decision of
who will support them at the time of their birth—
and rightfully so! We spare no expense to have a
healthy mother and newborn. Well ... we do until
they leave the hospital.
Once home, in the U.S., a mother’s partner more
than likely will need to go straight back to work.
Family members, if they live close by, may visit
occasionally, but they also have work and life to get
back to as well. Mom will leave the hospital and not
see her doctor and nurses for a whopping six weeks.
During this postpartum season, a huge amount of
healing, change and growth are occurring in a new
mother’s life. This period is as crucial as birth itself
and merits the same amount of support and attention
as labor. If it is financially possible, it is highly
beneficial to hire professional help, such as a
postpartum doula.
Many couples are now opting for showers where
gifts of service are given as opposed to onesies and
blankets. At these showers, contributions of meals,
house-cleaning services, and other professional
assistance for new families are encouraged.
During your fourth trimester, whether you hire
a support person or you rely on a family member
or friend for care, here are some questions and
guidelines you should consider:
1DO YOU AND YOUR PARTNER FEEL
COMFORTABLE WITH THIS PERSON?
That doesn’t just mean do you like them … it means,
are you comfortable enough with them to tell them
no?. I have had clients who hired me for a second
baby due to the fact that their mother helped with
the first. And while Grandma was lovely and caring.
she could not keep her idea that the baby needed
a bottle to herself. The sweet new mom in this
scenario had a hard time trying to heal and rest and
fight her mother on this issue. This leads me to my
second suggestion.
2DOES YOUR SUPPORT PERSON SHARE AND/OR
RESPECT YOUR PARENTING CHOICES?
You are at your most vulnerable during recovery
and bonding, and it is not the time to be fighting
someone about the fact that you do not want your
baby to have a pacifier. I would even consider writing
down in advance what you do and don’t want for you
and your baby. If you are hiring someone, you may
even include these items in the contract to be
signed by both parties.
3
IS THIS PERSON SOMEONE WHO WILL TAKE THE
4
During this
postpartum season,
a huge amount of healing,
change and growth
are occurring in a new
mother’s life.
This period is as crucial as
birth itself and merits the
same amount of support
and attention as labor.
INITIATIVE TO PERFORM TASKS ON THEIR OWN?
If your support person just wants to “hold and
snuggle the baby,” they are not your support person.
Your support person should be cooking for you,
cleaning for you, and making sure the house is
running smoothly so you can rest and focus on
yourself and the baby.
IS THIS PERSON TRUSTWORTHY?
This is guideline is really important and easily
overlooked. You don’t need Aunt Deborah telling
your cousins that breastfeeding is not going well
for you. You need someone supporting you that you
feel you can trust to listen to you and keep your
information private.
5IS YOUR SUPPORT PERSON TRAINED USING
EVIDENCE-BASED RESEARCH IN POSTPARTUM
RECOVERY AND NEWBORN CARE?
OK, so maybe this one is a loosely veiled plug for
hiring a postpartum doula. But it is very true. It is
said you can tell where a person’s treasure lies by
where they invest their time and finances.
Investing in your recovery as a new mother is
investing in yourself and your family.
Ask a seasoned mother if she spent too much money
on newborn clothes and you will likely hear a
resounding yes! But I promise you this: No one ever
says, “I wish I had spent less on my fourth-trimester
support.”
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