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18 | July 25, 2019 | The wilmette beacon SOUND OFF<br />
wilmettebeacon.com<br />
A Word From The (Former) President<br />
A message from the moon<br />
Posted to WilmetteBeaconDaily.com 2 days ago<br />
John Jacoby<br />
Contributing Columnist<br />
Hello earthlings,<br />
it’s me, the moon.<br />
I’m here to say<br />
that I don’t appreciate the<br />
attention you gave me last<br />
week, the 50th anniversary<br />
of the landing of your<br />
“Eagle” at my “Sea of<br />
Tranquility.” In fact, I’ve<br />
felt aggrieved by you for a<br />
long time.<br />
Tickets on sale Now!<br />
2019<br />
Awards Luncheon<br />
presented by 22nd Century Media and Autohaus on Edens<br />
11 a.m.–1:30 p.m. Thursday, Sept. 12,<br />
Chicago Botanic Garden, 1000 Lake Cook Road, Glencoe<br />
{ Tickets: $55 }<br />
There once was a<br />
time when some of you<br />
earthlings worshipped me.<br />
That was fun — having<br />
folks worship me, and I<br />
didn’t have to do anything<br />
in return. But then some<br />
smart guys figured out<br />
why I emit light, rise and<br />
set, change my shape, and<br />
occasionally disappear<br />
and reappear. That’s when<br />
the worshipping stopped.<br />
Astronomers learned that<br />
I do all these “miracles”<br />
not because I’m a god,<br />
but because of the Big<br />
Bang and everything that<br />
happened afterwards. You<br />
know — Isaac Newton’s<br />
gravity thing and all that<br />
stuff. I don’t mean to stir<br />
up a controversy between<br />
science and religion.<br />
I know that the Bible<br />
says that God made me<br />
(“the lesser light”) on the<br />
“fourth day.” Maybe the<br />
Big Bang was the “first<br />
day.” Hey, I’m no scientist<br />
or theologian. What do I<br />
know?<br />
Anyway, even though<br />
most folks now realize<br />
that I’m not a god, I’m<br />
still an object of admiration,<br />
nostalgia, and<br />
mystery. Artists paint and<br />
sculpt me. Authors write<br />
about me. My favorite is<br />
“Goodnight Moon.” Poets<br />
and lyricist rhyme about<br />
me. If I mention a few<br />
song titles, a melody will<br />
surely pop into your head:<br />
“Fly Me to the Moon,”<br />
“Moon River,” “Harvest<br />
Moon,” “Blue Moon,”<br />
“Moonlight Sonata,” “It’s<br />
Only a Paper Moon,” and<br />
Speakers include a Panel of NS WIB 2018 Winners<br />
• Entrepreneur: Amy Torf, Noggin Builders<br />
• Financial: Elaine Lewis, The Wade Street Group at Morgan Stanley<br />
• Legal: Cynde H. Munzer, Dykema Gossett PLLC<br />
• Senior Care: Margalit Tocher, Home Care Assistance<br />
Tickets available at 22ndCenturyMedia.com/women<br />
“Twinkle Twinkle Little<br />
Star.” (Oh wait, that last<br />
one may not be about me.)<br />
Michael Jackson named<br />
his best dance-move after<br />
me. Lovers go gaga in my<br />
presence. Navigators are<br />
guided by me. Tides are<br />
turned by me.<br />
You earthlings might<br />
ask, “Why do you feel<br />
aggrieved when you’re<br />
so admired?” Well, my<br />
grievances run deep,<br />
and they’re twofold:<br />
First, it was in 1610 that<br />
Galileo, the Italian guy,<br />
discovered that another<br />
planet, Jupiter, also has<br />
moons. In 1610, he saw<br />
four of Jupiter’s moons<br />
and gave them wonderful<br />
names — Ganymede,<br />
Callisto, Io, and Europa.<br />
Later that century, some<br />
of Saturn’s moons were<br />
seen and named — Titan,<br />
Iapetus, Rhea, Tethys, and<br />
Dione. Over a period of<br />
400 years, astronomers<br />
discovered 350 moons in<br />
the Solar System — 175<br />
orbiting eight planets, nine<br />
orbiting dwarf planets,<br />
and the rest orbiting other<br />
bodies like asteroids. The<br />
planetary moons have fantastic<br />
names. I’d love to<br />
Neighbors<br />
From Page 17<br />
Northfield Police Department.<br />
Reporting by Managing<br />
Editor Eric DeGrechie. Full<br />
story at WinnetkaCurrent.<br />
com.<br />
THE GLENCOE ANCHOR<br />
Financing for Tudor Court<br />
streetscape project nears<br />
vote in Glencoe<br />
That’s me in the background. I’ve inspired lovers for<br />
years, but Cupid gets most of the credit. I need a real<br />
name, not “moon,” to be properly honored. And I want<br />
to be left alone. Photo submitted<br />
be called “Titan,” a name<br />
from Greek mythology<br />
that refers to the descendants<br />
of Uranus and Gaea<br />
(heaven and earth). It<br />
also means “extremely<br />
important person” (kind of<br />
like me). But I’m simply<br />
called “moon”, with no<br />
capital “m.” My name<br />
“moon” is so generic. It<br />
gives me no unique identity.<br />
It’s like naming one of<br />
your kids “kid.” You folks<br />
creatively named a baseball<br />
stadium “Guaranteed<br />
Rate Field,” but you can’t<br />
come up with something<br />
better than “moon” for<br />
me? I’m also insulted by<br />
the meaning of the verb<br />
“to moon.” Where did that<br />
come from?<br />
My biggest beef, though,<br />
is your coming to visit me.<br />
You don’t know how to<br />
treat us heavenly bodies.<br />
Look what you’re doing to<br />
earth -- polluting the land,<br />
sea, and air and making<br />
your planet uninhabitable.<br />
I can see it coming. You’ll<br />
do the same to me. In fact,<br />
you’ve already left a bunch<br />
of junk on my surface and<br />
stolen some of my rocks.<br />
As soon as you figure out<br />
how to make a profit off<br />
me, you’ll come by the<br />
millions and ravage me.<br />
One of your nukes might<br />
even blast me out of orbit<br />
and cause me to crash into<br />
earth. Stay away! You<br />
earthlings are unworthy of<br />
your intelligence!<br />
In the coming months,<br />
the Glencoe Village Board<br />
plans to vote on issuing<br />
general obligation limited<br />
tax bonds not to exceed<br />
$1.5 million to finance the<br />
Tudor Court streetscape<br />
project.<br />
A Bond Issue Notification<br />
Act hearing will take<br />
place at the board’s August<br />
meeting, while approval<br />
of the bond issuance and<br />
the bond sale would take<br />
place in September. Construction<br />
is slated to begin<br />
in March 2020 with<br />
completion in July 2020.<br />
The scope of work for the<br />
project includes full-width<br />
street resurfacing, relocated<br />
curb and mid-block<br />
pedestrian crosswalk improvements,<br />
brick paver<br />
sidewalk enhancements<br />
and repairs, lighting, seat<br />
wall planters, site furnishings<br />
and landscaping.<br />
Reporting by Todd Marver,<br />
Freelance Reporter. Full<br />
story at GlencoeAnchor.com.