TELL Magazine: October - November 2019

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{WANT TO WRITE YOUR OWN OBITUARY?} Barbara Karet One day I was driving home from a funeral with Reverend Zwarenstein (Sam), and remarked that I would hate to write a eulogy (or obituary) about myself because my life has been so boring. ‘Boring’ is perhaps not quite the right word; let’s substitute the word ‘uneventful’ instead. This is not a complaint, so much as a statement of fact. I really feel blessed that, as A.B. Facey put it, I have had ‘a fortunate life’ 1 , however I know I would never make it on to any of today’s TV reality shows. I am one of those lucky baby boomers who has enjoyed a comfortable upbringing, a good ‘free’ education, and as an adult, a rewarding career and happy family. I have no background ‘sobstory’ that would make me even remotely interesting to television viewers. I haven’t struggled against adversity; there has been no ‘rags to riches’ tale, and I have made no great achievements to make an account of my life in any way compelling. In short, my obituary would be brief and uninteresting. But then, is that the point? Maybe I should not be focusing on great achievements, or stories of derring-do, but rather on the type of person who has been described, and whether I have lived a good, purposeful life. Rabbi Joseph Telushkin, in his book ‘The Book of Jewish Values’ 2 , tells the story about a rabbi he knows. Every year, this rabbi prepares for the High Holidays by writing not one, but two obituaries about himself. The first version is how he thinks it would be written, and the second is how he would like it to be written. His aim each year then, is to become more like the second version than the first. According to one account, it was a premature obituary that motivated Alfred Nobel, the Swedish munitions industrialist to establish the Nobel Prize awards. The story goes that he was aghast when he read an obituary mistakenly written about himself, instead of his recently departed brother. Nobel was the inventor of dynamite, and he had become extremely wealthy producing explosives. The newspaper headlined its article, ‘The Merchant of Death is Dead’, and said he would be remembered ‘as the man who made it possible for more people to be killed more quickly than anyone else’ 2 . This was not the way he wanted to be remembered, and so to redeem himself, he set out to create a positive legacy. He left a bequest to establish one of the world’s most prestigious prizes, The Nobel Prize. It is awarded for intellectual services rendered to mankind, honouring those that have benefited humanity in fields as diverse as literature, economics, peace, science and medicine. He is now mainly remembered for his generous humanitarian and scientific philanthropy. I am not advocating that we should change our lives because of the way we want to be remembered. The point is that we can all reflect on the person that we are, and then strive to become a better version of ourselves. We can consider what would be written in version one of our ‘virtual’ obituary, and then decide to make a few changes in our lives so that we can be more like the person described in a second aspirational version. Many of you would not have recalled that Alfred Nobel became wealthy making munitions, but instead would associate him with his positive contribution to society of the Nobel Prize. We can’t change what we have done in the past, but we can resolve to be better in the future. With luck, we won’t have the misfortune of reading our own obituaries, but let’s try to live our lives so that if we did, we would approve of the person that it describes. References: 1. Facey, A.B. (1981) A Fortunate Life. Penguin, Aust. 2. Telushkin, Joseph (2000) The Book of Jewish Values. Bell Tower. 20
Bread Tags for Wheel Chairs Please save your bread tags and bring them to Emanuel Synagogue – they will be recycled to fund wheelchairs in South Africa. Bread Tags for Wheelchairs has been recycling bread tags in South Africa since 2006. They currently collect about 500kg/month, which funds 2-3 wheelchairs. Now they are collecting in Australia too! It’s easy ….. save your bread tags for a while and then drop them off in the bowl in our foyer. Ask your family, friends, school and local café to help. More information: breadtagsforwheelchairs.co.za Plus61J together with Emanuel Synagogue present Israel, Jews & the Middle East through Film from 7:00pm at Emanuel Synagogue <strong>October</strong> 23 - The Other Son (2012) <strong>November</strong> 20 - The Kindergarten Teacher (2014) December 18 - Year Zero (2004) 21
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TELL Magazine: October - November 2019

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