BALANCE THE WORLD

Aurélie Salvaire
Balance
the world!
Tactics to help you launch a
gender revolution

Aurélie Salvaire
Balance
the world!
Tactics to help you launch a
gender revolution

Preface
I grew up in a world where, as the recently deceased French anthropologist
Françoise Héritier observed, men are worth more than women. As a Libra child,
keen on balance and justice, this infuriated me. I saw how my feminist mum
would smash her face against the walls of patriarchy when she tried to voice a
different opinion. Growing up, I realized that my individual story was actually a
collective one, global and systemic. And that we hardly talk about it because it is
so embedded in us that we don’t question it anymore, we don’t see it. And when
we do, we focus on the problem, and its insurmountable size makes us feel
helpless.
So I wrote this book as an antidote. An antidote to our feeling of helplessness in
front of the magnitude of the problems. An antidote to our collective denial or our
apathy in situations of injustice. An antidote to fear and depression.
There are so many valuable men and women out there who are willing to balance
this world. So, even if many times I feel like tiny David against giant Goliath, I
wanted to offer you hope through concrete solutions any of us can implement.
Because I do believe that the sum of the smallest individual changes will
ultimately trigger a systemic transformation.
So I dedicate this book to my late mum Martine, who instilled in me a fighter’s
spirit.
Let’s not give up the fight!
– Aurélie Salvaire
1

table of contents
Introduction -----------------------------------------------------------------
Before We Start -----------------------------------------------------------
3
15
Education ----------------------------------------------------------------------
Media and Art ---------------------------------------------------------------
Advertising
Language
--------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Public Speaking -----------------------------------------------------------
Cities
Sports
Politics
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Leadership -------------------------------------------------------------------
Investors
Pay Gap
------------------------------------------------------------------------
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Science and Technology ---------------------------------------------
Sex --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Violence ------------------------------------------------------------------------
Manhood ------------------------------------------------------------------------
47
73
97
115
133
151
181
205
233
271
289
311
333
357
405
Conclusion --------------------------------------------------------------------
Bibliography ------------------------------------------------------------------
437
447
2

Introduction
3

THE SECRET OF
CHANGE IS TO
FOCUS ALL OF YOUR
ENERGY, NOT ON
FIGHTING
THE OLD, BUT
ON BUILDING THE
NEW.
— Dan Millman
4

This is a feminist guide for millennials.
Have you been outraged by Trump’s election?
Are you tired of the violence and intolerance plaguing many spheres of our
androcentric world?
Do you want to do something about it?
Here are some concrete examples from all around the world to shift the balance
and contribute to making it a better place.
This fun and visual guidebook will give you necessary tools to effectively
navigate this seemingly controversial topic and provide you with concrete
examples of best in class strategies.
I invite you to be part of the gender revolution!
Let’s Shift
The Balance
Together !
5

Lilith will guide you in this quest.
Contrary to the folklore, Lilith is regarded as a true feminist icon. Legend says,
she is considered to be the first woman ever, created equal to Adam. When she
refused to submit to Adam's authority, she was thrown out of paradise and
replaced by a more docile Eve. Since then, she has been portrayed as a demon,
even though her only crime was to question:
“Why should I lie beneath you when I am your equal since both of us were
created from dust?”
Source: Genesis, Hebrew Talmud
6

Your life in the Matrix
We live in a Matrix. So embedded in us that we are completely oblivious to it. We
even deny its existence. A world of fear and domination. A world of aggression
and war where military spending massively exceeds education spending.
A world of deep suffering.
PATRIARCHY IS LIKE THE
MATRIX. YOU ARE LIVING IN IT
EVERYDAY, BUT YOU DON’T SEE IT.
— Carolina Criado-Perez
7

To prepare people for this world, we force them to conform, to fit into little
boxes.
Women have been conditioned to believe that their worth is less than… this
condition begins in early childhood. “It’s a girl” is still a lethal phrase in many
places around the world.
Even in more lineal societies like Europe or the US, girls are more likely to be
interrupted by her parents or teachers, to be socialized to be calmer and
partake in quieter activities, and to learn to conform and obey.
A little boy, in contrast, will be conditioned by his toys, language, and TV to
deal with conflict in a violent manner and to disconnect from his emotions
unless he feels anger.
A world where one half of the population is trained to dominate and oppress the
other half is not a happy place. Both sexes are trapped into boxes.
What can we
do about it ?
I’M NO LONGER ACCEPTING
THE THING THAT
I CAN NOT CHANGE.
I AM CHANGING THE THINGS
I CANNOT ACCEPT.
— Angela Davis
8

This book is about solutions.
Today, more than ever, we need everyone to be a “balancemaker.”
We identified 15 key topics. For each topic, we state the problem, share existing
solutions, and propose some concrete actions you can take.
01 — Education
02 — Media and art
03 — Advertising
04 — Language
05 — Public speaking
06 — Cities
07 — Sports
08 — Politics
09 — Leadership
10 — Investors
11 — Pay gap
12 — Science and technology
13 — Sex
14 — Violence
15 — Manhood
Tactics for a revolution.
Imagine you live in a world where most of the resources, power, media, and
myths are owned by one part of the population.
And you’re not a part of it. What would you do?
Which tactic would you use to shift the power balance?
Here are some tactics that we will illustrate in this book.
Visualize
We say an image is worth a thousand words. Visualizing data or a shocking
statistic in an infographic can be extremely powerful. You can also portray what
the world would be like, the utopia you aspire to, as with the prophetic front page
of a newspaper. Show, don’t tell.
9

Data Mining
Gather relevant data so that no one can deny the reality of the problem.
Tech 4 Good
Leverage technology to crowdsource information in real time, geolocalize data,
or create useful wearables.
The Power of the Crowd
Campaigning platforms like Change.org and social media like Twitter and Facebook
allow anycitizen to make noise and unite people around a cause. What was
once an isolated individual complaint online can now rally thousands.
Humor
Humor can defuse the situation, making dry topics accessible to connect with
people. Humor opens hearts and minds.
Gaming
Leverage the power of play to raise awareness on complex issues.
Naming
A simple yet powerful tactic is to give a name to a previously unnoticed
phenomenon. (Mansplaining, Manspreading, Manterrupting, etc.)
New Skill
Train women in a new skill in order to infiltrate male-dominated sectors.
Counter-storytelling
Choose a new angle to portray a problem, provide a female gaze to a traditional
story, show what a different world would be like. New media channels allow
each of us to become a storyteller.
10

New Heroes
Portray new role models and new stories of women and men striving for peace
and balance.
Stage
In a forum theater, actors perform a scene with a negative outcome. Audience
members become "spectActors" in order to solve the situation. This tactic was
developed by the Theatre of the Oppressed in Latin America in the 1970s.
Speak Up
Mainstream icons, famous actors and actresses, and heads of state openly
supporting gender equity is a strong method to invite these topics into
mainstream media and to leverage their visibility for a social impact.
Toolkit
Disseminating case studies, toolkits, and manuals with concrete tips and advice
is a great way to guide people.
Infiltrate
Progressively infiltrate the power structures in order to switch the power balance
from within. This requires stamina and resilience.
Quotas
Affirmative action measures that impose a target for representation within the
organization can accelerate the diversity of leadership circles and help shatter
the "glass ceiling," but they also create tensions and frustrations within the
organization.
Revolution
Revolution represents a fundamental change in political power in a short period
of time. Revolution is a fast-paced tactic that creates massive wounds and
extremely uncertain outcomes.
11

Boycott
Refrain from buying products or using services from companies who do not
respect your values.
Rate
Attribute a mark or a rank to an organization according to its compliance with
diversity objectives.
Outlaw
Ban certain practices from an organization, city, or country.
Unite
When women unite, they prove that they are powerful. Remember, women
paralyzed Iceland in 1975, and Lysistrata's sex strike stopped the Peloponnesian
Wars.
Street Action
Guerrilla activism costs little, but, if well publicized, these actions create a viral
effect.
Symbolic Claim
Focus your protest or campaign on a small but very symbolic illustration of the
power system.
Disobey the Rules
It is good to be an ally but sometimes you have to be a rebel. If you believe some
rules are not fair, why follow them?
Occupy
Occupy a public and symbolic place to raise awareness of an issue, for example
Occupy Wall Street, the Indignados in Madrid, or Nuit Debout in Paris.
12

New Products
Gender imbalance can be perceived as a market opportunity to create products
addressing an unsatisfied need.
Awareness
Focus on growth. Learn. Question. Speak. Act.
Reverse
Reverse the roles to shed light on the incongruity of cultural rules.
Empathy
Invite others to put themselves in your shoes to be more aware of your reality.
Dilute
Instead of fighting the existing structure, create alternative models that become
so numerous that they dilute the old system in a sea of new ones.
Nonviolence
Many changemakers use peaceful walks, civil resistance, and disobedience
tactics to prove their point and challenge the existing power structures.
A true systemic change will only arise from a combination of these tactics
triggered by a symbolic event. It will require planning, strategy, and cooperation.
If you are passionate about changing the system, read Gene Sharp's
groundbreaking work, From Dictatorship to Democracy, or consult the Albert
Einstein Institution, which lists 198 methods of nonviolent action!
NON-VIOLENCE IS A POWERFUL AND
JUST WEAPON. INDEED, IT IS A WEAPON
UNIQUE WHICH CUTS WITHOUT WOUNDING
AND ENNOBLES THE MAN WHO WIELDS IT.
— Martin Luther King Jr
13

Now it's your turn!
Pick the topic you are most passionate about, choose one of the tactics you
feel more comfortable with, and imagine what you could start!
The world is full of opportunities!
Learn about them in the coming pages!
BABY, SHALL WE SMASH
CAPITALISM AND
PATRIARCHY
TOGETHER ?
14

Before We Start...
15

Feminism:
A belief in the social, political, and
economic equality of the sexes.
Men and women are different, regardless of this, they should have access
to the same rights and opportunities.
Do you think men and
women should be equal?
Yes
No
Congratulations!
You’re a Feminist
Not
A Feminist
16

TEST: How much of a feminist are you?
Check all that apply.
I would be willing to give up some of my salary if I had to, so that equal pay
in my workplace could be a reality.
I believe that men and women should be equal.
I can’t help but be bothered when a song includes misogynistic lyrics, even
when I otherwise like the song.
I know who bell hooks is.
I can define intersectional feminism.
I don’t use the phrase “hey guys” when referring to a group of people that
includes men and women.
I have taken a women’s and/or gender studies class.
I think it’s important to encourage girls to pursue science and math as a
career.
I think we should change women’s bathroom symbols to not include
traditionally “feminine” clothing (skirts, dresses, etc).
I believe trans people should be able to use whichever bathroom they
identify with.
I believe it’s important to encourage women to negotiate.
I believe Jennifer Lawrence should earn as much as her male costars.
I do not think a movie should be released unless it passes the Bechdel test.
I believe all genders are entitled to the same social and political rights.
I can explain why “78 cents to the dollar” is not a fully accurate description
of the gender wage gap.
I believe that women who possess certain types of privilege are responsible
for advocating for women who don’t have their level of privilege.
In an instance of sexual assault against a female, I am inclined to believe the
assaulted person is telling the truth until proven otherwise.
I believe that women should be able to dress however they want without it
dictating how they are treated by society.
I have never said that a woman “asked for it.”
I am offended by catcalling.
I don’t think women should get VIP treatment at nightclubs and bars just for
being women.
I think police brutality and its correlation with race is a feminist issue.
I think we should stop promoting models as the ideal female body type.
I think we should stop photoshopping women’s bodies in the media.
I have never called a woman bossy.
I think companies should offer more child-friendly programs for parents.

I believe that a woman should be offered the same opportunities for
promotion as her male co-workers.
I believe that if a woman wants to pay on a date, her date should let her.
I believe that women should have easy access to birth control.
I believe the domestic duties should be shared in a relationship.
I think that a couple should have equal responsibility over the cleanliness of
their home.
I believe that men and women have the same emotional strength.
I do not think that it is the responsibility of a man to protect a woman
physically.
I believe that men and women should be equally encouraged to express their
emotions.
I have never asked a woman why she does not have children.
I would be equally excited to have a son or a daughter.
I think women have a responsibility to help and encourage other women to
pursue their goals.
I think women are equally capable as men to be the President of their
countries.
I believe that women have no responsibility to make a conscious effort to
always be friendly and polite.
I have never criticized a woman for not wearing makeup or wearing too much
makeup.
I believe a woman is a woman if that is what she calls herself, regardless of
her physical attributes and makeup.
What’s your score?
Source: Buzzfeed - How much of a feminist are you?
Some say “I am a humanist, not a feminist” but how do you want to fight
discrimination if you don’t name it?
BEING A FEMINIST IS LIKE BEING PREGNANT.
YOU EITHER ARE OR YOU ARE NOT.
— Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
18

Many of us reject the feminist label without knowing its true meaning.
Do you consider yourself a feminist or not?
Pre-definition
Post-Definition
Male Female Male Female
Yes
15% 35%
Yes
51% 69%
No
85% 65%
No
49% 31%
Data: yougov.com
WE SHOULDN'T BE AFRAID OF THE WORD FEMINIST.
MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD USE IT TO
DESCRIBE THEMSELVES.
— Justin Trudeau
Two books to read in case of doubt.
1
2
Feminism is for Everybody, Bell Hooks.
With her characteristic clarity and directness, Bell Hooks encourages
readers to see how feminism can touch and change their lives to see that
feminism is for everybody.
We Should All Be Feminists, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
The highly-acclaimed and provocative New York Times bestseller is
adapted from the much-admired TEDx talk of the same name. The
award-winning author of Americanah offers a modern version of what
feminism means for her.
I AM A FEMINIST. I’VE BEEN A FEMALE FOR A LONG TIME
NOW. I’D BE STUPID NOT TO BE ON MY OWN SIDE.
— Maya Angelou
19

When talking about gender, two different points of view tend to emerge.
Nature
Sociobiologists
Gender is in our DNA.
Patriarchy is natural.
Human biology and genetics explain male control.
Bateman's principle: male dominance is a human
universal as a result of our biological makeup.
Females invest more energy into producing
offspring than males, and, as a result, females are
a resource over which males compete.
Culture
Social constructionists
Gender is a social construct.
Patriarchy is learned.
We have very similar hardware,
just the software is different.
Since the feminist movement and the
flood of women into the workforce,
social constructionism has
gained even greater traction.
Essentialism is the view that every entity has a
set of attributes that are necessary to its identity
and function. In gender studies, the essentialist
idea that men and women are fundamentally
different (some qualities being essentially male
and some female) continues to be a matter of
contention.
ONE IS NOT BORN,
BUT RATHER
BECOMES
A WOMAN.
— Simone De Beauvoir, The Second Sex
Judith Butler is the most influential gender theorist.
Judith Butler is best known for her books Gender Trouble: Feminism and the
Subversion of Identity and Bodies That Matter: On the Discursive Limits of
Sex. In these books, she challenges conventional notions of gender and develops
her theory of gender performativity. This theory has had a major influence
on feminist and queer scholarship. Butler conceives of gender as a reiterated
social performance rather than the expression of a prior reality.
YOUR BEHAVIOR CREATES YOUR GENDER.
WE ACT AND WALK AND SPEAK AND TALK
IN WAYS THAT CONSOLIDATE AN IMPRESSION
OF BEING A MAN OR BEING A WOMAN.
— Judith Butler
20

We need to differentiate gender identity, biological sex, and gender
expression.
Sex Gender Sexual Orientation
Biological traits that
society associates
with being male or
female.
Cultural meanings attached to being
masculine and feminine, which influences
personal identities. Gender identity is usually
established by age three.
Cisgender people identify with the sex
assigned at birth, transgender people don’t.
Sexual attraction,
practices and identity that
may or may not align with
sex and gender.
A RECENT SURVEY OF A THOUSAND MILLENNIALS
FOUND THAT HALF OF THEM THINK
GENDER IS A SPECTRUM
Social movements tend to use different tactics to reach their objective.
Like any social struggle, feminism is also multi-faceted. It has used different
tactics and strategies over time.
There is a full spectrum of feminist activists.
EMMA
WATSON
More
consensual
tactics
More
radical
tactics
FEMEN
And different waves.
First Wave:
Second Wave:
Third Wave:
Women’s right to vote.
Equal pay and reproductive rights.
Media portrayal, gender roles, sex positivity, pay inequality,
glass ceiling, sexual harrassment, domestic abuse,
reproductive rights, androcentric world.
Fourth Wave:
Social media activism. Fourth wave feminism is defined by
technology.
#MeToo #YesAllWomen #AskHerMore
21

It’s important to be aware of the danger of white feminism.
White feminism is a form of feminism that focuses on the struggles of white
women while failing to address the distinct forms of oppression often faced by
women of color and women lacking other privileges.
Feminism can easily turn into
neocolonialism.
Image: Janna Yashchuk
Just look at this French campaign used in
Algeria in 1958.
Image: whitefeministcollectionagency.tumblr.com
Revealing our society’s double
standards.
Image: everydayfeminism.com
Image: Malcolm Evans
22

As the famous feminist slogan says: Don’t liberate me, I can do it!
IF YOU HAVE COME HERE TO HELP ME, YOU ARE
WASTING YOUR TIME. BUT IF YOU HAVE COME
BECAUSE YOUR LIBERATION IS BOUND UP WITH
MINE, THEN LET US WORK TOGETHER.
— Lilla Watson
Intersectionality is the belief that oppressions are interlinked and cannot
be solved alone.
Opressive institutions (racism, sexism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism,
xenophobia, classism, etc.) are interconnected. The term intersectionality was
coined by the American feminist, Kimberlé Crenshaw.
IF YOU'RE STANDING IN THE PATH OF MULTIPLE FORMS
OF EXCLUSION, YOU'RE LIKELY TO GET HIT BY BOTH.
— Kimberlé Crenshaw
Some books explain the rise of black feminism.
Ain't I a Woman? by Bell Hooks is deeply critical of the racism inherent in the
thought of many middle-class white feminists who have failed to address issues
of race and class.
Christine Delphy co-founded the journal Nouvelles Questions Féministes with
Simone de Beauvoir in the 1970s and became one of the most influential figures
in French feminism.
Today, Delphy remains a prominent and controversial thinker, a rare public voice
denouncing the racist motivations of the government’s 2011 ban of the Muslim
veil.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A
SINGLE-ISSUE STRUGGLE BECAUSE
WE DO NOT LIVE SINGLE-ISSUE LIVES.
— Audre Lorde Co-Founders of Ms. Magazine:
Gloria Steinem and Dorothy
Pitman Hughes.

Islamic feminism is a form of feminism concerned with the role of women
in Islam.
It aims for the full equality of all Muslims, regardless of gender, in public and
private life. Islamic feminists advocate women's rights, gender equality, and
social justice grounded in an Islamic framework.
Advocates of the movement seek to highlight the deeply rooted teachings of
equality in the religion and to encourage a questioning of the patriarchal
interpretation of Islamic teaching through the Quran, Hadith (sayings of
Muhammad), and Sharia (law) towards the creation of a more equal and just
society.
Moroccan Fatima Mernissi was largely concerned with Islam and women's
roles in it, as in her essay Beyond the Veil.
Leila Ahmed is an Egyptian American writer on Islam and Islamic feminism.
In her seminal work, Women and Gender in Islam (1992), Ahmed argues that
the oppressive practices to which women in the Middle East are subjected
are caused by the prevalence of patriarchal interpretations of Islam rather
than Islam itself.
Islamic doctrine developed within an androcentric, misogynist society, that of
Abbasid Iraq, the customs of which were largely inherited from the Sasanian
Empire after its conquest.
According to Ahmed, veiling was prevalent in pre-Islamic society to
differentiate veiled free women from non-veiled slaves.
Colonial feminism was a Western discourse of dominance that, "introduced
the notion that an intrinsic connection existed between the issue of culture
and the status of women, and that progress for women could be achieved
only through abandoning the native culture."
Amina Wadud is an American scholar of Islam with a progressive focus on
Qur'an exegesis.
Wadud decided to lead Friday prayers (salat) for a
congregation in the United States, breaking with Islamic
laws, which allows only male imams (prayer leaders) in
mixed-gender congregations. In her essay Qur’an and
Women, she reads the sacred text from a woman's
perspective.
Musawah ("equality" in Arabic) is a global movement
for equality and justice in the Muslim community.
Angela Davis

BUT WHAT IS PATRIARCHY?
Patriarchy is a social system in which men are considered to have a monopoly
on power and women are expected to submit.
The rule of the father.
Patriarchy is a social system in which males hold primary power,
predominately in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege,
and control of property; in the domain of the family, fathers or father figures
hold authority over women and children.
Patriarchy is a system of domination enforced through violence and the threat
of violence.
It is a system developed and controlled by powerful men, in which women,
children, other men, and nature itself are dominated.
Patriarchy is everywhere.
It is a power structure.
Trickling down from the myths and archetypal stories down to the choice of
your razor blade.
Thinking that we are free of gender is the biggest denial of our times.
PATRIARCHY HAS NO GENDER.
— Bell Hooks
I KNOW ENOUGH WOMEN WHO ARE TOTALLY PATRIARCHAL,
WHO ARE TOTALLY ANTI-WOMEN, WHO DO NASTY THINGS
TO OTHER WOMEN, AND I HAVE KNOWN MEN WHO HAVE
WORKED FOR WOMEN’S RIGHTS THEIR WHOLE LIFE.
FEMINISM IS NOT BIOLOGICAL: FEMINISM IS AN IDEOLOGY.
— Kamla Bhasin
25

We need to work on many levels.
Meta Cultural Level
Universal Stories/Myths
/Archetypes/Religions
Create new belief systems, images, roles.
Global Level
Media
Words
Education
City
Leadership/Workplace
Relationships
Literature, Advertising, Cinema, Music, Comics, Art, TV,
Photography.
Language, Jokes, Common Expressions, Insults.
Household Chores, School, Playground, Toys, Sports, Body
Posture, Sex Education, Clothes.
Urbanism, Transport.
Boardrooms, Political Representation, Equal Pay, Money and
Investment, Tech and Science, Public Speaking.
Dating, Sex Practices, Porn, Sexual Assault, Sex Trade,
Domestic Violence, Harrassment, Rape, Prostitution.
Individual Level
Girls
Boys
Body Image, Self-Esteem, Confidence, Talkativeness.
Emotional Intelligence, Repressed Feelings, Violence.
Simply put, patriarchy is a system of domination and control that privileges
cisgender men at the expense of everyone else (though notably to varying
degrees and in different ways, since the benefits of patriarchy exist at
intersections of other forms of domination and oppression).
Patriarchy, as is the case with other related systems of oppression like white
supremacy, relies on violence (both literal and symbolic) deployed against
cisgender women, transgender people, and gender non-conforming people in
order to maintain supremacy.
26

If you believe that…
There is a hierarchy between races,
you are racist.
There is a hierarchy between sexual
orientation, you are homophobic/transphobic.
There is a hierarchy between genders, you
are sexist.
SEXISM IS STILL
CONFUSED WITH NATURE
AS RACISM ONCE WAS.
— Gloria Steinem
Yet, many men and women do not consider themselves as feminist
because...
They don’t know the exact definition.
They assume it means women are superior to men.
They assume it means women are identical to men.
They assume it means being a violent and aggressive activist.
They are afraid to be badly perceived by others.
Patriarchy is generally not an explicit ongoing effort by men to dominate
women.
It is a long-standing system that we are born into and participate in, mostly
unconsciously.
A QUESTION OF PRIVILEGE
PRIVILEGE IS INVISIBLE TO THOSE WHO HAVE IT.
— Michael Kimmel
PRIVILEGE IS REVEALED MORE CLEARLY TO THOSE
WHO DON’T HAVE IT.
— Hugo Schwyzer
27

Most men (and some women) around the world think sexism is not an
issue anymore.
PRIVILEGE IS WHEN YOU THINK SOMETHING
IS NOT A PROBLEM BECAUSE IT’S
NOT A PROBLEM TO YOU PERSONALLY.
This is what Roland Barthes calls “exnomination.” Male gender is considered the
norm, so the problem then lies with the other, which men feel they do not belong
to.
A few examples of male privilege:
Privilege of a gender that confers authority.
Privilege to show skin and dress as you wish.
Privilege of seeing yourself widely and positively represented in the media.
Privilege of having political officials fight for issues that pertain to your sex.
Privilege of having major religions in the world led by individuals of your sex.
Privilege to move or date without fear of harassment, assault, or rape.
Prevalence of Street Harassment in the U.S.
65%
57%
41%
25%
18%
16%
Overall Prevalence
of Harassment
Verbal Harassment
Physically Agressive
Harrassment
Data: Stop Street Harassment, 2014 Study
Becoming aware of your privilege should
not be viewed as a burden or a source of
guilt but rather an opportunity to learn and
be responsible so that we may work toward
a more just and inclusive world.
FEMINISM IS FOR
EVERYBODY.
— Bell Hooks
28

Most common reactions to male privilege.
Defensiveness: “I’m not going to feel guilty for what I inherited. If some people
don’t have those same privileges, tough luck!”
Paralyzing guilt: “This is just so unfair, but what am I supposed to do about it!?
I never asked for this, and one little person can’t change a system that’s been
around for hundreds of years!”
Reacting with guilt or defensiveness does not help.
“Guilt is a profoundly conservative emotion and as such is not particularly
useful for bringing about change. From a position of insecurity and guilt,
people do not change or inspire others to change.”
“If we inherit injustice, we should never feel guilty. We are not responsible for
that past. However, if we choose to do nothing about it going forward, then
we have plenty to feel guilty about.”
Source: The Construction of Masculinity, Michael Kaufman
Let's be clear. Not everybody is in favor of equality.
Men’s rights activists, white supremacists, or groups like the Return of the
Kings consider feminism to be evil.
The famous “anti-diversity memo” from a former Google employee argued
that women are underrepresented in the tech world due to biological
differences.
The “Mariage pour tous” movement in France is campaigning against any
gender awareness teaching in schools.
So, yes, there is a conservative backlash wishing to return to “the good ol’
times.”
WHEN YOU’RE ACCUSTOMED TO PRIVILEGE,
EQUALITY FEELS LIKE OPPRESSION
29

Change triggers fear.
Standard gender roles are safe and comforting.
Change is uncomfortable:
Will I lose my privilege?
What is my new role?
What is my identity?
What is OK and not OK now? I am lost.
A lot of men fear losing their power.
According to Hanna Rosin in The End of Men, men in the US are set to
dominate just 2 of the 15 categories of jobs projected to grow in the next
decade: computer engineering and janitoring.
According to Grayson Perry in The Descent of Man, “men are sold a big
dream of power, but it goes only to a privileged few. A lot of men are sold the
narrative of power and domination but lead lives of frustration and servitude.
No wonder they get angry. Anger is a response to the feeling of powerlessness.
The idea that gender is in our genes is convenient. It leaves us off the
hook, with no need to think or reflect. Feminism has always been
forward-looking. We believe women’s rights will come, that change shall be
embraced. Many men are nostalgic. Masculinity so far is harking back to
some mythical age when “men were men.” A time when men dominated
women. A positive change in masculinity would be a massive positive change
for the world.”
Denial is still widespread.
A way to avoid change is to refuse to acknowledge the problem.
Denial takes many forms:
Questioning the figures.
Relativizing the situation.
Saying it’s already better now.
Making jokes.
Being cynical about the situation.
Blaming the other.
Leveraging different strategies as defense mechanisms and protection.
30

We need to differentiate between equality and equity.
Equity means acknowledging one’s privilege and accepting that extra help is
given to those who have less.
HE WHO ACCEPTS EVIL
WITHOUT PROTESTING
AGAINST IT IS REALLY
COOPERATING WITH IT.
— Martin Luther King Jr.
HOW WAS THIS POWER
SYSTEM CREATED?
In The Creation of Patriarchy, Gerda Lerner explains how the patriarchal
system was created.
The first step was the realization of the male role in procreation.
The first signs of patriarchy ocurred in the Neolithic Era between 10,200 BCE
and 2,000 BCE. Neolithic humans relied on a system where men were the
hunters of a tribe and women were the gatherers.
During this time, the realization occurred that it took a male and female to
produce offspring.
It is theorized that with this realization, these Neolithic men first became aware
of their role in paternity.
With the domestication of animals and the development of animal husbandry,
the function of the male in the process of procreation became more apparent
and better understood.
31

PRIVATE PROPERTY IS THE WORLD HISTORIC
DEFEAT OF FEMALE SEX.
— Friedrich Engels
With this new concept of ownership came the desire to leave private herds
to the descendants of the owner.
These same men also began to take private ownership over their individual
herds. Prior to this development, the people of the Paleolithic Era had shared
both land and supplies.
Because of this new desire, it became necessary for women to be virgins
before marriage and for them to abstain from adultery after marriage so that
men could be sure their offspring were their own.
With this new control over women began the earliest patriarchal families.
Patriarchy was furthered at the end of the Neolithic Era when women
began to be traded as commodities.
The commodification of women could be seen in arranged marriages between
families or villages, women being forced to have sex with visitors as a deed of
hospitality, and ritual rapes during festivals to insure prosperity.
Women were treated as commodities, and they became accustomed to this
identification from a young age.
Women’s values lay in their reproduction, especially in farming villages. In
these villages, more people were needed to work the land and sustain the
population, so women were expected to produce a large amount of offspring.
Children became an economic asset, and if women were unable to produce
them, they were seen as worthless. The idea of women being good only for
their womb remains even into today’s society.
Patriarchal dominance moved from private practice into public law.
Sales contracts appear in the Bible and the Code of Hammurabi.
Marriage becomes wife purchase.
32

The decisive transition was the institutionalization of slavery.
Women were the majority of the first enslaved people.
The veil helped to distinguish married and respectable women from slaves.
Commercial prostitution derived from the enslavement of women.
The practice of raping women of a conquered group became essential to the
structure of patriarchal institutions — Rome was built on the rape of the
Sabines.
As culture evolved, patriarchal society grew increasingly misogynistic.
Ancient Greece played a large role in the increase of patriarchal practices.
As men gained equal rights, women lost many of theirs.
Women were the legal wards of either their father or their husband and had no
rights of their own; they could not inherit property.
A woman during this time did not even have custody over her children, as they
belonged to her husband.
Additionally, if a woman committed adultery, she would either be banished or
executed. While men were able to find sexual freedom with legal sexual
outlets, most women could not leave their homes without permission from a
father or husband.
Source: The Creation of Patriarchy. Gerda Lerner
AND NEW MYTHS AND STORIES WERE
WRITTEN TO SHAPE FUTURE
GENERATIONS
There is an invisible “storage unit” for our habits.
These invisible information fields are called morphogenetic fields. DNA isn’t
the only way evolution pass on critical information.
There is a collective storage, like the Internet, where you put in information
that can be accessed by everyone else.
How can we tap into it and change the ideas of patriarchy?
33

Joseph Campbell explains how myths create reality.
Myths present ideas that guide perception, conditioning us to think and
perceive in a certain way, especially when we are young and impressionable.
We learn what is socially acceptable.
Myths maintain ideals and values. They justify rules and traditional practices.
Leading metaphors define and shape our cultural heritage.
Symbolic construct is key to the acceptance of the system.
Subordination of women became completely accepted since it seemed
natural to both men and women.
It is seen as natural, and thus invisible.
Thanks to myths and stories, women did not realize they were oppressed.
So, myths have an important role in the creation of a power system.
Gender symbolism in creation stories proves a reliable guide to sex roles
and sexual identities in a given society.
According to research by Peggy Reeves Sanday, out of 112 world creation
stories collected in different countries, 50% identified a male deity at the
origin of the world, 32% a divine couple, and 18% a female deity.
When the world was created by a male deity, 17% of fathers cared for infants.
When the world was created by a couple, 34% did.
And when the world was created by a female deity, 63% did.
CREATION MYTHS ARE NOT ABOUT THE ORIGINS OF THE
WORLD AT ALL, BUT ABOUT THE ORIGINS OF PATRIARCHY
WHICH HAS CLAIMED ITSELF AS THE WORLD.
— Jane Caputi
So, in antiquity, major god figures and symbols underwent a sex change.
The power of creation and fertility was progressively transferred from
Goddess to God.
Who creates life?
Who brings evil into the world?
Who mediates between humans and the supernatural?
The masculinizing of religion resulted, always and everywhere, in hostility

towards the woman and the body.
The symbolic devaluing of women is one of the founding metaphors of
Western civilization.
Major gender symbols and metaphors of Western civilization are derived from
Mesopotamian and Hebrew sources.
Two key metaphorical constructs:
Bible
Greek philosophy
The Book of Genesis contains the most significant symbols concerning
gender.
There is no longer any maternal source for the creation of the universe.
Man is the mother of the woman.
The Bible served as divine sanction for the subordination of women for
2,000 years.
Starting with Eve, created from man's rib, and her temptation that caused
humankind's fall from Paradise.
Women are inferior human beings who lie and seduce men into committing
sins.
Women cannot speak to God anymore. It is still the case today. In 2016, Pope
Francis reiterated women will never be Roman catholic priests.
Strong women are dangerous.
In Jewish folklore, Lilith appears as Adam's first wife, who was created at the
same time and from the same dirt as Adam. Lilith left Adam after she refused to
become subservient to him. She coupled with the archangel Samael and would
not return to the Garden of Eden. She later becomes a winged female demon
who kills infants. Her legend serves to demonstrate how, when unchecked,
female sexuality is disruptive and destructive.
Abraham's will to sacrifice his beloved son Isaac proves that obedience is
superior to love.
35

In Greece, the Theogony defines Zeus's ascension to power.
Male gods take power from the forces of the chaos identified with fertility
goddesses. From all powerful Zeus swallowing his wife Methis and giving birth
by himself to Athena to Pandora who opened the box that contained all evil
(Hesiod).
According to Riane Eisler, Greece was built on a "dominator system."
In Greek mythology, cruel and barbarian Zeus maintains supremacy by raping
goddesses and mortal women.
Socrates, who supported the education of women, was sentenced to death
for corrupting the youth.
According to Aristotle: Some are meant to rule and others to be ruled. Slaves
and women shall be ruled by men, the rest violates the natural order.
Passive princesses like Andromeda wait for the liberation and protection by
courageous princes. And married women wait patiently and faithfully for their
men to return from war/work/travel, like Penelope.
And religious systems have perpetuated these myths.
“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the
head of the woman is the man, and the head of Christ is God.”
— Bible, Corinthians 11:3
“Blessed are you, Lord our God, Ruler of the Universe, who has not made me
a woman.”
— Jewish Morning Blessings.
“The pagans pray to females.” — Quran
MAN ENJOYS THE GREAT ADVANTAGE OF
HAVING A GOD ENDORSE THE CODE HE WRITES;
AND SINCE MAN EXERCISES A
SOVEREIGN AUTHORITY OVER WOMEN
IT IS ESPECIALLY FORTUNATE THAT
THIS AUTHORITY HAS BEEN VESTED
IN HIM BY THE SUPREME BEING.
— Simone de Beauvoir
36

HOW DID THIS SYSTEM MAINTAIN ITSELF?
For nearly 4,000 years, women have shaped their lives under paternalistic
dominance.
The basis of paternalism is an unwritten contract of exchange: Economic
support and protection given by the male in exchange for sexual service and
unpaid domestic service given by the female.
It was a rational choice for women under conditions of public powerlessness
and economic dependency.
Women also shared class privileges with men in exchange for their special
economic political and intellectual subordination.
Ignorance of our own history keeps women subordinate.
For over a millennia, women have unconsciously participated in their own
oppression because psychologically they’ve been taught to internalize the
idea of their own inferiority.
This indoctrination begins in early childhood and continues through
adulthood.
Patriarchy is secured through various means: gender indoctrination,
educational deprivation, denial to women of knowledge of their history,
dividing of women, coercion, discrimination in access to economic and
political resources, and by awarding class privileges to conforming women.
You will not be loved unless you obey: mothers have been shaping their
children to conform “for their own good.” Conform or be rejected.
Some women play an important role in keeping the patriarchy alive.
As recently as November 8, 2016, 53% of American white women who voted,
voted to support the presidential campaign of Donald Trump, despite his use of
racist and sexist rhetoric. Again, it is hard to let go of privilege.
Source: The Creation of Patriarchy. Gerda Lerner
37

According to Riane Eisler, the problem is not men as a sex but men and
women socialized in a dominator system.
Our dominator-dominated way of relating to other human beings is so
internalized by early childhood that we are not aware of it anymore.
We consider it obvious that some people rule and other people are meant to
be ruled.
A mind socialized to submit to male authority will tend to turn to the protection
of a strong leader in times of crisis.
In religious books, as in totalitarian regimes, obedience is the supreme virtue.
All is not hopeless if we recognize it is not human nature but a dominator
model of society that drives us to war.
Source: The Chalice and the Blade, Riane Eisler
The great chain of being taught us how to rank people.
God
Culture — Rights
Man
Woman
Children
Nature — Resources
People of Color
Animals
Nature
THE FIRST STEP IS TO
DEBUNK THE MYTHS
Source: The Chalice and the Blade, Riane Eisler
38

FALSE
MYTH #1:
PATRIARCHY IS NATURAL
Man the hunter, superior in physical strength, naturally protects and defends the
more vulnerable female.
Big game hunting was an auxiliary pursuit. The main food supply came from
gathering fruit and small game-hunting.
Cooperation was necessary between the hunter who provided the meat while
the gatherers collected food for subsistence.
Roles were different but not hierarchical.
We should not mistake what is habitual for what is natural.
FALSE
MAN THE HUNTER IS A MYTH TO PRESERVE MALE SUPREMACY
AND HEGEMONY.
— Elise Boulding
MYTH #2:
PATRIARCHY HAS BEEN HERE FOREVER
Patriarchy developed over a period of 2,500 years from 3,100 BC to 600 BC, at
different paces in different societies.
Patriarchy is a system that originated in history, which means that it is neither
eternal nor inevitable.
Equality between the sexes was the general norm in the Neolithic Era.
Pre-patriarchal society was remarkably egalitarian, as the archeological sites
of Catal Huyuk and Hacilar in Turkey confirm.
The primary purpose of life was not to conquer and loot but to cultivate earth
and provide for a satisfying life.
There was no sign of warfare in over 15 centuries. In Crete, for example, power
was not equated with dominance, destruction, and oppression. Power was a
responsibility and represented the interests of people.
39

MYTH #3:
ANATOMY IS DESTINY
Woman’s reproductive capacity confines her chief goal in life to motherhood.
FALSE
This is ahistorical: Anatomy was destiny.
Due to bipedalism, female hominids developed a narrow pelvis and birth
canal. Thus, human babies are born at an earlier stage of maturity and require
support for years to move, eat, etc.
In prehistoric times, this required a division of labor necessary for group
survival.
Today, men and women do not live in the same state of nature as Neolithic
humans. To claim that only female nurturance is unchanging among all human
activities is to consign half the human race to a lower state.
FALSE
MYTH #4:
GOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN MALE
Before the secret of fecundity was understood, the female was revered as the
giver of life.
According to Merlin Stone, in her book When God Was A Woman, the Great
Goddess or the Divine Ancestress was worshipped from the beginning of the
Neolithic Era in 7,000 BC until the closing of the last Goddess temples in AD
500.
From India to the Mediterranean, the Goddess reigned supreme.
Ashtoreth or Astarte was known in Canaan as the Near Eastern Queen of
Heaven. Archaelogical evidence shows that her religion flourished thousands
of years before the arrival of the patriarchal Abraham.
The same religion flourished all around the Mediterranean for at least 7,000
years in Iraq, Iran, India, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Jordan, Palestine, Egypt,
Sinai, Libya, Syria, Turkey, Greece, and Italy.
40

In this world of peace and creativity, women were self-confident.
Religion supports and perpetuates the social organization it reflects.
In societies where the supreme Goddess was perceived as a wise provider,
women would internalize a very different self-image.
They would see themselves as competent, independent, creative, inventive.
Society recognized its oneness with nature, an interconnected life system.
The power began shifting with the northern invasions of the Indo-Aryan
warriors in 2300 BC.
Conquerors brought with them the concept of light as good and dark as evil.
They introduced a supreme male deity, a storm god high on a mountain,
blazing with fire.
Female deities were associated with snakes or dragons, most of the time evil.
Gospel says: “I have come to destroy the works of the female.”
AD 300: Emperor Constantin suppresses worship of Ashtoreth in Canaan and
declares it immoral.
AD 380: Theodosius closes The Temple of Artemis at Ephesus, one of the
Seven Wonders of the Ancient World.
AD 450: The Parthenon of the Acropolis in Athens, dedicated to the Goddess
since 1300 BC, is transformed into a church.
In Arabia, Prophet Muhammad brought to an end the national worship of Sun
Goddess Al Lat and Al Uzza (Allah God, Allat Goddess).
So our memory is very short.
We only remember the past 3,000 years of the dominator system.
But the partnership system of the Paleolithic Era goes back over 30,000 years!
Source: The Chalice and the Blade, Riane Eisler
41

THE END OF AN ERA
We are reaching the limits of the system.
Our masculine militarism is the most energy-intensive activity in the world.
World military budgets amount to roughly $800 billion per year. We live in an
economic system based on war.
IF THE WHOLE WORLD STOPPED SPENDING MONEY
ON THE MILITARY FOR JUST EIGHT DAYS,
WE COULD PROVIDE 12 YEARS OF FREE,
QUALITY EDUCATION TO EVERY CHILD ON THE PLANET.
— Malala Yousafzai
Now even nature seems to be rebelling against androcracy.
Rational man subdues nature and poisons his physical environment.
We see the limits of the system: destruction of rain forests, extinction of
species, loss of arable soil, population growth at a fantastic rate.
Ecofeminism relates the oppression and domination of all subordinate groups
(women, people of color, children, the poor) to the oppression and domination
of nature (animals, land, water, air, etc.).
When challenged, the androcratic system reasserts masculine stereotypes
Fundamentalism is also an androcentric reaction.
Neither capitalism nor communism has fulfilled its promises.
Disillusionment leads to a return to fundamentalism.
Patriarchy crushes male and female.
WOMEN
Limited freedom (especially sexual).
Reduced visibility and
representation.
MEN
Inner sensitive child crushed by
authority.
Constant pressure to prove virility. 42

Who do you decide to be?
LUKE/LEIA
Hero looking for his identity.
Teaming up with his sister.
Uniting with others to fight
authority and power.
DARTH
VADER
Powerful father trying to murder his son.
Fearful of superior power.
Looking for prestige and power.
Under armor and a mask.
Supressing feelings and emotions.
NOW IS THE TIME
Today we are living in an age of unprecedented transformation.
Patriarchy is inextricably linked to militarism, hierarchy, and racism.
Patriarchy threatens the very existence of life on Earth.
A feminist world view will enable women and men to free their minds from
patriarchal thoughts and practice and to build a world free of dominance and
hierarchy, a world that is truly human.
Source: The Chalice and the Blade, Riane Eisler
FOR BOTH MEN AND WOMEN, THIS RANKING
OF ONE HALF OF THE HUMANITY OVER THE OTHER
IS POISONING ALL HUMAN RELATIONS.
— Alfred Adler
WE NEED A CRITICAL MASS OF NEW IMAGES
We need to create new myths, new stories, new symbols.
Introducing a feminist reading of religious texts, for example.
Jesus said nothing about strengthening male power over women. Mary
Magdalene was a major figure in early Christian leadership, not a prostitute.
The Woman's Bible is a two-part nonfiction book that was written by

Counter Storytelling
Elizabeth Cady Stanton and a committee of 26 women in 1895. It challenges
the traditional position of religious orthodoxy that woman should be
subservient to man. By producing the book, Stanton wished to promote a
radical liberating theology, one that stressed self-development. The book
attracted a great deal of controversy and antagonism at its introduction.
Challenging exclusive male access to the divine, as the new women-led
mosque in Denmark does.
In Women Priests Project, Italian artist Nausicaa Giulia Bianchi visually
documented 70 self-ordained female priests in an attempt to highlight what
many see as blatant misogyny within the Catholic hierarchy.
Reclaiming stories of female goddesses.
In Goddesses in Everywoman, Jean Shinoda Bolen uses seven archetypal
goddesses to describe behavior patterns and personality traits. She explains
how to tap the power of these enduring archetypes to become a better
“heroine” in your own life story.
In Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild
Woman Archetype, Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés explores rich intercultural
myths, fairy tales, folk tales, and stories, many from her own traditions, in
order to help women reconnect with the fierce, healthy, visionary attributes of
this instinctual nature.
IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN CALLED A DEFIANT,
INCORRIGIBLE, IMPOSSIBLE WOMAN… HAVE FAITH…
THERE IS STILL TIME.
— Clarissa Pinkola Estés
A critical mass of people can create a new archetype.
From individual change to collective influence, until we create a new model
where we trust love more than power.
Source: Gods in Everyman. Jean Shinoda Bolen
44

THE TRUE FOCUS OF REVOLUTIONARY CHANGE IS
NEVER MERELY THE OPPRESSIVE SITUATIONS THAT WE
SEEK TO ESCAPE, BUT THAT PIECE OF THE OPPRESSOR
WHICH IS PLANTED DEEP WITHIN EACH OF US.
— Audre Lorde
From power over to power with.
Riane Eisler proposes a radical reformulation of economics, one that
supports caring and caregiving at the individual, organizational, societal,
and environmental levels.
This "caring economics" takes into account the full spectrum of economic
activities from the life-sustaining activities of the household to the life-enriching
activities of caregivers and communities to the life-supporting processes of
nature. Eisler exposes the economic double standard that devalues anything
stereotypically associated with women and femininity and shows how this
distorts our values and our lives.
THE ACHIEVEMENT OF FULL EQUALITY
BETWEEN SEXES IS A PREREQUISITE
FOR WORLD PEACE
The power of the blade and the dominator model is threatening all of human
civilization now.
Male dominance, male violence, and authoritarianism are not eternal givens.
A more peaceful and egalitarian world is achievable in our future.
Are we finally reaching the end of a 5,000-year androcratic detour?
Source: The Chalice and the Blade, Riane Eisler
45

SOCIETIES ADHERING CLOSELY
TO THE DOMINATION SYSTEM
SOCIETIES ADHERING CLOSELY
TO THE PARTNERSHIP SYSTEM
CORE CONFIGURATION:
Authoritarian control in both the family and state
or tribe.
The subordination of the female half of humanity
to the male half.
The devaluation of caring, nonviolence, and other
stereotypically "soft" values.
Hierarchies of domination based on “power over.”
A high degree of institutionalized or built-in fear,
coercion, and violence.
CORE CONFIGURATION:
A more democratic organization in both the family
and state or tribe.
The male and female halves of humanity are equally
valued.
Values such as caring and nonviolence are highly
regarded in both women and men.
Hierarchies of actualization based on “power to”
and “power with” - a low degree of institutionalized
or built-in fear, coercion, and violence, as they are
not needed to impose and maintain rigid rankings.
Man over man, man over woman, race over race,
religion over religion, and so on.
Source: Riane Eisler. Center for Partnership.
A good place to start is with ourselves.
We need to become watchful of our inner programming. Most of our hidden
written history carries a heavy dominator stamp. If you have only experienced
relations of domination, you believe there is only one alternative: either you
dominate or you are dominated, either patriarchy or matriarchy. It is not true. The
domination model leads to imbalanced relations with ourselves, our planet, and
those with whom we share the planet. Once we become aware of what we carry
unconsciously, we can change. Challenging ingrained notions of masculinity and
femininity is a healing experience. It helps to reclaim our own inner balance, to
live happier and more meaningful lives. We need to do inner and outer work to
transcend our dominator upbringings. And then we will change the stories. We
can cultivate the spiritual courage to challenge religious dominator stories and
rules that are inhuman. We can create partnership fables and myths.
The movement to shift from domination to partnership in all aspects of our
lives - from the personal to the political - is the fastest growing and the
most powerful movement in the world today.
Source: Riane Eisler. The Power of Partnership
46

Chapter 1 – Education
47

THE PROBLEM:
GENDER-NEUTRAL
PARENTING IS AN ILLUSION
48

From a very young age, our children are trapped in boxes.
IF WE
THINK WE
RAISE OUR
GIRLS AND BOYS
EQUAL, WE NEED A
REALITY CHECK.
— Laura Bates, founder of Everyday Sexism
Starting with children's clothes. Some examples:
Hipercor Spain launched baby clothes saying: Smart like Daddy, Cute like
Mummy.
Avenger’s T-shirts slogans: Be a hero/I need a hero.
And Gap had to withdraw a campaign where the girl was labeled the social
butterfly next to a boy called the little scholar.
But it’s not only about the messages. Our clothes are gendered and favor
autonomy or dependence.
Boys’ clothes are supposed to be comfortable while
girls’ clothes ought to be pretty. Girls’ clothes hinder
movement and exploration (dresses or skirts). Adults
tend to tell girls to respect their clothes, e.g. "eat
properly," "don't climb trees." Boys' clothing is easier
for boys to take on and off, like Velcro, while girls
clothing requires help, like laces and delicate outfits.
On special school days, girls are encouraged to stick
to princess outfits while boys have more choices.
Girls are reminded by schools that they are not allowed to wear what they
want.
Frequently, female students are told to "dress for their bodies.”
Wearing shorts and a tank top does not impede upon a female student's ability
to learn, nor should it impede upon the ability of a teacher to teach. This strict
dress code perpetuates rape culture by suggesting to girls that their way of

dress is punishable and justifies their sexualization.
Girls are responsible for dressing modestly to avoid “distracting” their male
counterparts.
Source: Rapport sur l'égalité entre les
filles et les garçons dans les modes
d'accueil de la petite enfance.
Rebekah Lowin. TODAY
Children's movies shape our kids’ psyche
What Disney princes
teach boys about
attracting women: Be
rich, famous,
good-looking.
What Disney princesses
teach girls about attracting
men: If you're beautiful
enough, you may be able to
escape your terrible living
conditions by getting a
wealthy man to fall for you.
The widespread exposure of young girls to Disney princesses could lead young
children, and girls especially, to believe that they cannot do certain activities and
jobs that they associate with being more masculine in nature. Mulan is actually
the first female character defying gender stereotypes.
WE HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE HISTORY.
WE HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE ART.
WE HAVE NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE A STATEMENT.
TO MAKE MONEY IS OUR ONLY OBJECTIVE.
— Michael Eisner,
Former CEO of The Walt Disney Co.
This cynicism is linked to a growing concentration of the media industry. In 1983,
90% of the media in the US was owned by 50 companies. In 2015, only 6
companies (Comcast, Walt Disney, AOL Time Warner, News Corporation,
Viacom, CBS Corporation) own 90% of the media. Today, we witness an
increasing concentration of media ownership in fewer and fewer hands and a
narrowing of sources of news and opinions.
50

And children's cartoons mostly portray males as the protagonists.
According to the True Child Institute, only 15% of the characters on US
Saturday morning cartoon shows are female. Of those, almost all are
stereotypes, often portrayed as romantic, frail, and concerned about their
appearance. Male characters are more likely to answer questions, order others
around, achieve a goal, and eat!
What about books?
Books have an important role in children’s socialization.
Women in children's books are mostly non-working mothers. When women
work, they occupy stereotypical positions and they don’t have children.
Children's literature is a vehicle for sexist stereotypes.
Compared to females, males are represented nearly twice as often in titles
and 1.6 times as often as central characters.
Researchers talk about a “symbolic annihilation of women.”
“One thing that surprised us is that female representations did not
consistently improve from 1900 to 2000; in the mid part of the century it was
actually more unequal. Books became more male-dominated.”
Source: Gender in Twentieth-Century Children’s Books Patterns of Disparity in Titles and Central Characters
Masculine is universal.
In the US, 100% of popular children's books featuring animated animals have
male characters, but only 33% have female characters.
Female characters are mostly described through external attributes (clothes,
hair style, jewels).
The average number of books featuring male characters in the title of the book
is 36.5% versus 17.5% for female characters.
Male characters feature in book titles twice as much as female characters,
36.5% for males to 17.5% for females.
51

Even in higher quality children’s literature, more subtle stereotypes
remain.
The adjectives used are different: girls are beautiful, sweet,
weak, and scared, while boys are big, horrible, fierce, great,
brave, and proud.
Girls are often left out of the adventure, the thrill, the plot.
It is easier to find an adventurous girl than a fearful boy.
Children receive the impression that girls are not very important
because no one has bothered to write books about them.
Mothers label gender-neutral characters in picture books as male.
We have a tendency to think of people or creatures as male unless otherwise
indicated.
Men are people, women are women.
Boys are not encouraged to immerse themselves in books about girls.
Exposing boys to female protagonists is crucial but difficult, given that these
characters are highly under-represented in children's literature.
Source: Soraya Chemaly. Huffington Post 2013. What Does it Mean that Most Children’s Books
Are Still About White Boys?
Books for girls are for girls only.
Shannon Hale created the Twitter hashtag #BoysReadGirls and
encouraged users to generate a list of books featuring female
protagonists and start a conversation about the issue.
"The more we read books about people different from us, the
more empathy we have for them." – Shannon Hale
Source: MIC
Children’s ability to cross-gender empathize is a one-way street — girls
have to do it and boys learn not to.
Hale agrees that exposure to books in which women are secondary or erased
altogether only reiterates a cultural landscape in which young women are valued
more for their appearance and sex appeal than for their intellect.
As she writes on her website, this perpetuates "the myth that women only have

things of interest to say to girls while men's voices are universally important."
Failing to encourage boys to empathize with women and reinforcing the notion
that women only exist to bolster men's experiences creates a reality in which,
"boys aren't expected to understand and empathize with the female population
of the world," Hale writes.
Source: Mic 2015. Julie Zeilinger. This Author Is Exposing the Sexist Double Standard in Children's Literature.
Even classroom books and material are biased.
Children's books are filled with social constructs: the girl is a nurse; the boy
is a firefighter.
Only 5% of texts studied in French secondary schools have been written by
women.
Only 1% of philosophy books reference female philosophers.
While 59% of European university students are women, women run just 11% of
universities in France and 10% of universities in Europe.
Toys exaggerate gender division.
What about TOYs?
Toys most associated with boys are related to
fighting or aggression (wrestlers, soldiers, guns, etc.),
and toys most associated with girls are related to
appearance (Barbie dolls and accessories,
ballerina costumes, makeup, jewelry, etc.).
Toys for boys are more diverse than those for girls.
Boys' toys are more likely to be associated with the external world and can be
manually manipulated.
Girls’ toys are less diverse and mostly linked to domestic or “maternal”
activities.
Girls' toys (shops, kitchens, dolls) invite role playing and the development of
verbal abilities.
Boys' construction toys encourage manipulation and exploration to develop
spatial and analytical skills.
Interior vs exterior, danger vs security, competition vs cooperation. 53

How to tell if a toy is
for boys or girls.
YES
This toy
is not for
children.
Do you
operate the toy
with your
genitalia?
NO
It is for
either girls
or boys.
Young children don't distinguish the
gender of toys.
Boys aged 2-3 are as likely as girls to use dolls.
Researcher Isabelle Cherney found that half of
boys aged 5-13 picked “girl” and “boy”
toys equally... unless they were being watched.
Boys were especially concerned about what
their fathers would think of them if they saw
them.
Over time, boys’ interests in toys and media
become more rigidly masculinized, whereas
girls’ interests stayed relatively open-ended
and flexible.
Source: Rapport sur l'égalité entre les filles et les garçons
dans les modes d'accueil de la petite enfance
No dolls for boys
Boys are especially stigmatized for crossing the gender aisle in toys and clothes.
This fact seems to arise from a deep misogyny, homophobia, and transphobia. A
boy who embraces femininity is perceived as weak and subordinate. Unlike the
term “tomboy,” there is nothing positive about being a “sissy." There are far too
many stories of children being bullied or taunted for selecting toys that are
perceived as gender non-conforming.
Segmenting the toy market brings greater profits by making it harder for
parents to pass down items between siblings of a different sex.
The division of the market into pink and blue aisles helps companies
increase sales, but this color division is a recent concept.
In the Victorian era, both boy and girl babies were dressed in white gowns, and
there was no attempt to signal a child's gender. In the first half of the 20th century,
rules began emerging for pink and blue, but they were loose. Pink was a
lighter version of red, a rather masculine color. By the 1950s, pink had become
strongly associated with femininity, and the creation of the Barbie doll in 1959
anchored the pink dictatorship.
54

Pink helps to lure girls away from more active toys and games that encourage
the development of spatial and analytical skills.
As caregivers, which
attitudes do we
encourage?
If you let him play with
dolls, he might be...
a dad one day.
The illusion of gender-neutral parenting.
When women did not know the sex of their baby during pregnancy, no
particular pattern was perceived.
Women who knew the sex of their unborn baby described the baby's
movements differently:
– Males were active, vigorous, strong.
– Females were NOT violent, NOT excessively energetic.
Even the voice mothers used to speak to the baby was different.
Parents of boys expressed more pride in the news, and parents of girls
expressed more happiness.
So children are unequal even before birth. And then parenting begins.
Source: Delusions of Gender. Cordelia Fine.
Caregivers interpret babies' reactions differently.
In an experiment, two groups were shown the same
video of a crying baby. One group was told the baby
was a girl, the other a boy. The “girl” group thought the
baby was crying out of fear while the “boy” group
thought it expressed anger.
55

When mothers underestimate girls and overestimate boys.
According to research by Francoise Héritier, gendered expectations also bias
mothers’ perceptions of their infants’ physical abilities:
Mothers of 6-8 month-old babies were asked to estimate the steepness
of the slope their babies could manage.
Girls and boys had the same crawling ability, but mothers
underestimated girls’ and overestimated boys’.
Even though parents sincerely claim to hold the two sexes as equal, they
simultaneously devalue the feminine and limit boys’ access to it.
Parents talk less to baby boys and are less likely to use numbers when
speaking to little girls.
Babies are sensitive to the emotional reactions of caregivers.
Facial expressions and tone of voice tell babies which toys should be
approached or avoided.
Mothers talk more to girls than to boys, and they talk about emotions
differently to the two sexes.
Parents’ implicit attitudes about gender might be subtly transmitted to their
children.
Babies learn from what is not said but expressed in more subtle ways, even if
this contradicts the spoken message.
Parents encourage gender-specific activities and play, which discourages
cross-gender behavior.
Children learn not to follow their interests or preferences for certain toys for
fear of being teased.
Little boys are more often invited to finish their plate than little girls. A small
appetite, a control of their cravings, is valued in little girls, while voracity is
praised in little boys. As a consequence, according to the UN, women suffer
malnutrition twice as much as men.
56

Traditional gender stereotypes.
Feminine
Masculine
Not aggressive
Dependent
Easily influenced
Submissive
Passive
Gentle
Talkative
Home-oriented
Emotional
Indecisive
Easily hurt emotionally
Sensitive to others’ feelings
Desires security
Cries a lot
Verbal
Kind
Tactful
Nurturing
Aggressive
Independent
Tough
Analytical
Dominant
Active
Worldly
Decisive
Cruel
Blunt
Not at all talkative
Less sensitive to others’ feelings
Risk-taking
Rarely cries
Logical
Not nurturing
Not easily influenced
Not easily hurt emotionally
Classroom management techniques reward obedience versus
assertiveness, which puts highly active children at a disadvantage.
Males demand and receive more attention from their
teachers and, therefore, receive more specific and
instructive feedback from teachers (Erden & Wolfgang, 2004).
In comparison, females become less demanding of the
teacher’s attention; that results in lower levels of achievement
and self-esteem, which therefore limits their career goals
to more traditional, nurturing, and often lower-paying careers.
Source: Olaiya E. Aina and Petronella A. Cameron.
Teachers use a different language for girls and boys.
“Honey” and “Sweetie” are used to address girls, and “you guys” is used
when speaking to the entire class.
Teachers ask boys to speak more often, give them more time to answer,
and spend more time answering their questions.
Boys and girls are socialized to different activities.
Boys are encouraged to join team sports involving competition and space
occupancy, while girls are encouraged to engage in individual activities with
less competition.
Competition teaches children to manage failure and success, and it has an
impact on self-esteem and coping with risk-taking. 57

An agitated little girl will get scolded more than a boy.
Girls are more oriented towards calm, seated activities
while boys are engaged in mobile activities.
Inside vs outside. Occupy the space vs share the space.
Even storytelling is gendered.
Sons are more likely to be told stories of autonomy and achievement.
Daughters are more likely to be told stories of relationships or support.
Fathers more often tell stories of mastery and success.
Mothers’ stories are usually a direct expression of emotion.
TEACH GIRLS BRAVERY, NOT PERFECTION.
— Reshma Saujani, Founder of Girls Who Code
And what do children see at home?
Household chores are still not evenly shared.
In France, women spend 1.5 hours more on household chores than men every
day.
In Australia, the average minutes per day of unpaid work are 311 for women
and 172 for men.
85% of working Indian women feel they have two jobs, one at work and
another at home.
This is called “the second shift,” which leads to severe burn-outs. Girls
understand from a young age that the order and cleanliness of the house is
their responsibility.
In India, Ariel even launched a campaign called Dads #ShareTheLoad.
58

% of fathers and mothers who are married or living with a partner saying...
Mother does more Father does more Shared equally
Managing children’s schedules/activities
Fathers
53 6 41
Mothers
64 4
31
Taking care of children when they’re sick
Fathers
47 6 47
Mothers
62 2
35
Household chores and responsibilities
Fathers
32 12 56
Mothers
50 4
46
Source: Pew Research Center survey of parents with children under 18.
And it is not only a question of time, it is also a mental load.
The French comic artist Emma illustrates the concept of the mental load. The
mental load is the running commentary that plays in the minds of (mostly)
women, of all the things that need doing that no one else sees but you. “The
problem is this is a whole job in itself,” Emma says in the comic. “So when we
ask women to take on this task of organisation, and at the same time execute
a large portion, in the end it represents 75 per cent of the work. It’s permanent
and exhausting work. And it’s invisible.”
Like all forms of inequality, the people who profit from it tend not to see it.
According to research by sociologist Dr Leah Ruppanner, “when women start
to cohabit, their housework time goes up while men’s goes down, regardless
of their employment status.”
What happens inside the house is still considered women's responsibility while
men's sphere is outside the home. This idea comes partly from the 19th
century, when women's mental space was voluntarily saturated to keep them
under control. If women are busy running the household, they have less time
to fight for their rights in the outside world.
According to Titiou Lecoq, author of Libérées, le combat féministe se
gagne devant le panier de linge sale, "letting go some of the power in the
inner sphere is also the condition to taking more power outside."
59

Globally, girls spend 160 million more hours on household chores than
boys their age.
Worldwide, girls aged 5–9 and 10–14 spend, respectively, 30% and 50% more
of their time helping around the house than boys of the same age.
Globally, girls aged 5–14 spend 550 million hours every day on household
chores, 160 million more hours than boys their age spend.
In some regions, the gender disparities can be even more severe: In the
Middle East, North Africa, and South Asia regions, girls aged 5–14 spend
nearly twice as many hours per week on household chores than boys of
the same age.
Imagine what they could do with this time!
Source: UNICEF. Harnessing the power of data for girls.
Which Impact?
Children build their gender stereotypes very early.
Children begin to form concepts of gender beginning around age 2, and most
children know if they are a boy or girl by the age of 3 (Martin & Ruble, 2004).
Between the ages of 3 and 5, children develop their gender identity and begin
to understand what it means to be male or female.
Almost immediately after becoming gender aware, children begin developing
stereotypes, which they apply to themselves and others, in an attempt to give
meaning to and gain understanding about their own identity.
These stereotypes are fairly well developed by the age of 5, and become
rigidly defined between ages 5 and 7 (Martin & Ruble, 2004), making the
preschool years a critical period to deal with gender stereotypes.
Stereotypes and sexism limit potential growth and development because
internalizing negative stereotypes impacts self-esteem and, ultimately,
academic performance (Narahara, 1998).
Long-term gender bias effects become most apparent in students during
adolescence (Carlson, Egeland, & Sroufe, 2004).
60

Through our choice of toys, clothes, activities, and verbal or nonverbal
messages, we foster the development of different skills.
Playing dress-up encourages imagination and offers opportunities for the
development of social skills as children engage with one another, acting out
often elaborate made-up stories with one another.
Activities such as riding scooters help children develop physically and
personally, teaching skills like balance, spatial awareness and confidence,
while strengthening their muscles.
Constructing model toys and building things helps develop fine motor skills,
problem solving, and language development and fosters concentration.
Girls learn to...
Boys learn to...
Conform and be quiet.
Direct energy towards physical appearance.
Be of service.
Use seduction as a way to get what you want.
Overcompensate and overdeliver.
Take risks.
Speak up.
Be brave.
Occupy the space.
Be overconfident in their abilities.
Early sexualization damages children.
Girls feel worse about their bodies and have lower self-esteem after exposure to
sexualization.
More than 70% of girls, starting as young as third grade, are unhappy with
their bodies.
Many report dieting by age 12. Boys, in contrast, are much happier with their
bodies.
Combine these statistics with studies showing that girls who were asked to play
with Barbies have a worse body image after a brief play period compared to girls
who were asked to play with normally-proportioned dolls.
Source: Dove campaign
61

GENDER STEREOTYPES
TAKE ROOT EARLY.
ACCORDING TO A STUDY
IN CHILD DEVELOPMENT,
GIRLS’ AND BOYS’ ATTITUDES
ABOUT MATH BEGIN TO DIVERGE
AS EARLY AS SECOND GRADE.
Academic aspirations start to differ.
The hidden messages that girls receive about math, science, and technology
shape their self-image, confidence, and interest in those subjects (Ebach, et al.
2009).
These messages can come from bias in the media, from family or teachers who
may exhibit lower expectations for females in these subject areas, or even
from the medium itself, as in the case of computer software demonstrating
a high level of gender bias favoring males (McNair, Kirova Petrova, &
Bhargava, 2001).
Ask children to draw some professionals and you would be surprised.
Children were asked to draw a nurse, a builder, a lawyer, and a banker,
as well as the job they aspire to have when they grow up.
Where gender was identifiable, the drawings showed a clear gender
skew for specific roles:
– 81% of children drew nurses as female
– 88% of children drew builders as male
– 80% of children drew bankers as male
The most gender-balanced of the professions? 65% of children drew lawyers
as male.
62

Impact on future perspectives.
When asked to nominate jobs that they would not want, both girls and boys
rejected more traditionally female occupations than male and neutral careers.
Girls as young as 4 have already internalized the belief that women’s work is
neither as valuable nor as desirable as men’s.
How can children ignore gender when they continually watch it, hear it, see
it, are clothed in it, sleep in it, eat off it?
THE FIRST
PROBLEM FOR
ALL OF US, MEN AND
WOMEN, IS NOT TO
LEARN, BUT TO
UNLEARN.
— Gloria Steinem
63

SOME
SOLUTIONS
64

The Power of the Crowd
Some parents are leading campaigns to fight back against gendered toys.
In the UK, the Let Toys Be Toys campaign is asking the
toy and publishing industries to stop limiting children’s
interests by promoting some toys and books as only
suitable for girls, and others only for boys.
Pinkstinks confronts the damaging messages that
bombard girls though toys, clothes, and media through
different campaigns.
Play Unlimited was founded by
concerned Australian parents who
wanted to take action.
The message is clear: give gifts not
stereotypes.
Some toy companies are starting
to propose gender-neutral
catalogs.
In France, Collectif 52 (women
represent 52% of the world’s
population) challenges sexist
stereotypes.
TELLE MÈRE,
TELLE FILLE
DÉBALLEZ LES CADEAUX,
REMBALLEZ LES CLICHÉS.
#PARENTSMODELESANOEL
NOUS SOMMES 52%,
NOUS SOMMES PUISSANTES.
WWW.NOUSSOMMES52.ORG
TEL PÈRE,
TEL FILS
DÉBALLEZ LES CADEAUX,
REMBALLEZ LES CLICHÉS.
#PARENTSMODELESANOEL
NOUS SOMMES 52%,
NOUS SOMMES PUISSANTES.
WWW.NOUSSOMMES52.ORG
Citizen activism is fighting back.
Many consumers use platforms like
Change.org to make brands change their
marketing strategy.

New Products
Famous brands are starting to adapt their products
or communication.
This Audi Spain ad for Christmas challenges
stereotypes with the hashtag
#cambiemoseljuego (Let’s change the game).
Lego introduced female scientists and
stay-at-home dads.
Even Mattel recently launched a Game
Developer Barbie and paired up with the
organization She Should Run to create a
president doll.
Image: Mattel
Brands are starting to
propose gender-neutral toys.
Mattel has seen a 23% rise in sales after the
company changed Barbie from an exclusively
blond bombshell-style doll to one that
represents a variety of races and body types.
Goldie Blox wants to inspire young girls to
become engineers.
Parents are setting up new clothing brands.
In France, the Maydee application
allows individuals to track the time
spent on household chores and
share it equally.
66

New Heroes
New children's literature is emerging.
A new illustrated children’s book from iconic City Lights
Publishers, Rad American Women A-Z, offers kids the
chance to educate themselves on women’s history and
the alphabet at the same time.
Written by Kate Schatz and illustrated by Miriam Klein
Stahl, the book was inspired by Schatz’s two-year-old
daughter.
Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls, which tells
stories of iconic women all around the world, has
become the most crowdfunded book on
Kickstarter ever.
On A Mighty Girl's website, you
can find the world's largest
collection of books, toys,
and movies for smart, confident,
and courageous girls.
And female superheroes are starting to become mainstream.
Wonder Woman became the 11th superhero movie
in history to pass $800 million at the global box
office.
This success is important because superheroes
promote the idea that anyone can do good deeds,
that hidden talents lie in us all, and that one person
can make a difference. And they validate our sense
of justice.
So new superheroes emerge, like
Burka Avenger in Pakistan, fighting for the
right of girls to go to school.

Toolkit
Or Qahera in Egypt, who is raising
awareness of street harassment.
Some tools help you develop media literacy in your kids.
Like the Ban Bossy toolkit by Lean In.
Movie Night:
You Be the Critic!
While you watch the movie, tally
how many times male and female
characters do the following:
Speak (even a
single word!)
Speak to a character
of the same gender
Talk about love or
relationships
Take the lead in a group
Dress in fancy or
revealing clothing
Act aggressively or
violently
Add your own:
Add your own:
1
#BANBOSSY
banbossy.com girlscouts.org/banbossy
Take the time to ask your daughter what she’s watching and reading and why
she likes it. Pick a movie or television show and ask: What kinds of messages
about girls and women does it send? How are girls and women portrayed and
what do they do and talk about? How are girls’ and women’s relationships
portrayed?
68

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
69

If you are a teacher
Remove any material that promotes gender-stereotyped play.
Select non-sexist books that produce positive changes in self-esteem,
attitudes, and behavior.
Critically evaluate books for gender bias.
Guide children to recognize stereotypes and to increase independent
critical thinking about gender and perceptions of gender.
When planning learning experiences, challenge potential stereotypes by
presenting non-traditional images and role models.
Request speakers from children’s families.
Give equal praise and encouragement to females and males in math
and science.
If you are a parent
Be more mindful about your language and expressions. Are you
over-protective with your daughter? Over-tolerant with your son?
Stop using gender to label children, to sort children, and to guide
purchases for children. No more “What a smart girl!” comments
and boys-only birthday parties.
Correct children whenever they make a stereotypical comment, no
matter how minor. Stop statements like “Boys are gross!” and “Girls
can’t play basketball!” This type of group-based thinking is limiting.
Edit the toy closet and donate or throw away the toys that don’t
reinforce positive traits and skills.
70

Buy new empowering books. Read girls’ stories to your boys.
Show them new movies.
Challenge brands through campaigns and social media.
Read the comic about mental load by Emma.
Monitor your household chores for one full week to see who is doing
what (including the mental load of the organization) and renegotiate
the balance of responsibilities.
Dads, be a good example to your kids and share the load!
Read some books (Parenting Beyond Pink and Blue and
The Achilles Effect).
Here are some leadership tips
from the Ban Bossy toolkit
Source: Ban Bossy Leadership Tips for Parents
Encourage girls and boys equally to lead.
Reflect on the different messages you may be giving a daughter or son about
ambition, future success, and leadership.
Be conscious of the way you and she talk.
Notice how you communicate in front of your daughter or granddaughter and
avoid hedging or softening your opinions with disclaimers or apologies.
Make your home an equal household.
The wage gap starts at home: Girls get paid less than boys for household
chores. If certain chores receive more allowance, distribute those chores equally.
Talk about the word “bossy.”
Calling a girl “bossy” when she asserts her voice—a word we rarely use for little
boys—sends the message that girls should not speak up.
71

Teach her to respect her feelings.
Show her by example: avoid denying, second-guessing, or questioning her
feelings with phrases like “It’s not a big deal” or “Don’t overreact.”
Mothers and grandmothers: model assertive behavior.
Try turning down a request to volunteer when you’re overloaded—and explain
why to your daughter. Let your daughter watch you move constructively through
a conflict with a close friend, family member, or colleague and emerge
successfully on the other side.
Fathers and grandfathers: know your influence.
Girls whose fathers are positively involved in their lives also tend to have higher
self-esteem and be more willing to try new things.
Help her commit small acts of assertiveness.
Encourage her to order her own food at a restaurant or shake hands and make
eye contact with a new acquaintance.
Seize the power of organized sports and activities.
Embrace the sports field as a classroom where your daughter will learn an
invaluable set of social and psychological skills. Whether it’s debate, band, or
chess, there is a group out there for everyone.
Talk about mistakes.
Help your daughter get comfortable with mistakes by asking her to evaluate her
performance objectively.
Encourage her to step outside her comfort zone.
Encourage your daughter to try new things, whether it’s going to an event where
she doesn’t know a lot of people or asking her to check out with a cashier at the
grocery store.
Cultivate her passion.
Finding something she’s extra passionate about can give your daughter a greater
sense of purpose and leadership experience she will use throughout her life.
YOUNG GIRLS ARE TOLD YOU HAVE TO BE THE DELICATE
PRINCESS. HERMIONE TAUGHT THEM THAT YOU CAN BE
THE WARRIOR.
— Emma Watson
72

Chapter 2 – Media and Art
73

THE PROBLEM:
YOU CAN’T
BE WHAT YOU
CAN’T SEE
74

For 2,500 years, our storytelling has been extremely androcentric.
Thucydides and Herodotus were among the
first historians.
For 2,500 years, the construction of history has
been a male product.
Women’s acts and experiences have been
largely unrecorded and ignored, as Michelle
Perrot explains in her book, Les femmes ou
les silences de l'histoire.
So we end up perceiving historical events from
a mostly white, Catholic, heterosexual, male
perspective.
Image: Slate 2016, Andrew Kahn and
Rebecca Onion
Examples:
Columbus day: Geographical error or historical turning point? Genocide or
discovery?
Crusades: Holy war or terrorism and slaughter?
FOR MOST OF HISTORY,
ANONYMOUS WAS A
WOMAN.
– Virginia Woolf
Image: synopticgospel
In the past, our religious texts have been written and assembled by men.
And today men own most of our media outlets.
MEN RECEIVE
62%
OF BYLINE AND OTHER
CREDITS IN PRINT, INTERNET,
TV AND WIRE NEWS.
EVENING BROADCAST
68% vs 32%
Source: Women Media Center
PRINT
62% vs 37%
INTERNET
58% vs 42%
WIRES
62% vs 38%

On TV, men speak, women listen.
Only 20% of the experts in business and economic newscasts are women.
Only one Palme d'Or prize in Cannes has been awarded to a woman so far.
92 Palmes d'Or
1 woman (Jane Campion)
In France, literary prizes are mostly
awarded to men (76% since 1900).
At the last Angoulême International Comics
Festival, no woman was even nominated,
triggering many reactions. #WomenDoBD
Image: Philippe Pochep
In museums, most of the exhibited
artists are male, as Guerrilla Girls
show us.
Concerts and festivals follow the same trend...
...as well as the DJ world.
The female:pressure FACTS study found that women
comprise less than 10% of all DJs at festivals, labels,
and clubs worldwide.
Source: The Guardian

Photojournalism is also male-dominated...
A 2015 study by World Press Photo, that
canvased 1,556 photographers from over
100 countries, estimated that only 15% of
professional news photographers were
women.
...as is investigative journalism.
According to the Op-Ed Project, in 2011,
women authored only 19% of op-eds in
the Wall Street Journal, 22% in the
New York Times and 24% in the Los
Angeles Times. Another way to look at the status quo: a woman over 65 is less
likely to be cited as an expert in the media than a 13 to 18-year-old boy. A report
by the Women’s Media Center found that men were quoted three times more
often than women on the front page of The New York Times.
Image : Women in the World
The Op-Ed Project and Media Matters for America conducted an analysis of
foreign policy guests on major news programs. The results read like a time
capsule from the 1950s: In 2014, women made up just 22% of guests. Of trained
experts networks called upon, the figure is even lower. If you see a woman on
cable news talking about foreign affairs or national security, she’s likely a
reporter or news personality, not a trained expert or a diplomat.
Source: Foreign Policy Interrupted
So, at the end of the day, stories are mostly written by men…about men.
Women are not heard or seen.
If you don't tell your story,
someone else will tell it for you
77

According to UN Women, only 23% of movies feature female protagonists.
31% of speaking roles
are held by women.
23% of films feature a
female protagonist.
Only 1 in 4 people heard
or read about in the news
are women.
Women are the subject of less than a
quarter of all news stories (24%), an
increase of just 17% since 1995.
Only 9% of stories evoke
in(equality) issues.
Only 4% of the stories clearly
challenge gender stereotypes.
Source: UN Women
The 2017 Oscars still lacked gender representation among the nominees.
#oscarssomale
“Four out of five nominees are men — meaning male voices and perspectives
are largely responsible for what we see on screen.”, says Julie Burton, president
of the Women’s Media Center. For the seventh year in a row, no female directors
were nominated in the directing category.
All Nominees
5 Women
21 Movies 12 Movies
38 Men
Director's Gender
Passed the
Bechdel Test
In Academy Award history, four female filmmakers have been nominated
for best director, and only Kathryn Bigelow won, in 2010.
Only 6.4% of Hollywood films in the past years were directed by women.
The 2017 annual report from the Center for the Study of Women in Television and
Film found that 35% of films employed no women in key roles behind the
camera, such as writer, producer, executive producer, editor, or cinematographer.

Women also accounted for just 3% of composers. Some even say that
Hollywood could be sued for discrimination against female directors.
Oscar-nominated movies are mostly directed by men and rarely pass the
Bechdel test.
BECHDEL TEST CRITERIA:
DURING THE WHOLE MOVIE,
TWO NAMED FEMALE CHARACTERS TALK
TO EACH OTHER ABOUT SOMETHING
OTHER THAN A MAN.
So we grow up listening and watching male stories.
Or if women are portrayed, it is through the male gaze.
Laura Mulvey, a UK feminist film theorist, coined the term the male gaze.
Mulvey states that, “the gender power asymmetry is a controlling force in
cinema and constructed for the pleasure of the male viewer, which is deeply
rooted in patriarchal ideologies and discourses.”
This means that the male viewer is the target audience; therefore, their needs
are met first, and this problem stems from an old-fashioned, male-driven
society. Mulvey's theory on how women are portrayed in film and the media is
just as relevant today as it was in 1975, when her work was first published.
Mulvey believes that women are in fact, “the bearer of meaning and not the
maker of meaning,” which suggests that women are not placed in a role where
they can take control of a scene. Instead they are simply put there to be
observed from an objectified point of view. In addition, she believes that this
way of watching film is never alternated so that the men are in fact the ones
who are being viewed in this manner. This inequality reinforces the ancient
and outdated idea that “men do the looking, and women are to be looked at.”
THE MORE A GIRL SPENDS TIME WATCHING TV,
THE LESS IT FEELS SHE HAS A CHOICE IN LIFE.
AND THE MORE A BOY WATCHES TELEVISION,
THE MORE IT TENDS TO BECOME SEXIST.
– Geena Davis 79

The male gaze theory, in a nutshell, shows how women in the media are
viewed through the eyes of a heterosexual man, and how these women are
represented as passive objects of male desire. Audiences are forced to view
women from the point of view of a heterosexual man, even if they are
heterosexual women or homosexual men.
Typical examples of the male gaze include medium close-up shots of women
from over a man’s shoulder, shots that pan and fixate on a woman’s body, and
scenes that show a man actively observing a passive woman.
One reason for this is simply that the movie companies producing these films
are male-dominated, as cinema is predominantly a male-run industry. When
Mulvey originally wrote this critical analysis of film, producers were churning
out the same work that had proved to be commercially successful with
audiences in the past.
They believe that they are giving the public what they want, when that isn’t
necessarily true.
Studios are giving audiences what a proportion of males want, and what the
rest of society has been brainwashed to accept.
Source: Film Inquiry. Film Theory 101 – Laura Mulvey: The Male Gaze Theory by Rachael Sampson
When we see the world through only one eye:
Stories are incomplete.
Stereotypes are pervasive.
Stories are biased.
This can be illustrated by the way Muslim women are portrayed in
mainstream media.
Appearance overload: The media has become fixated with the
way Muslim women look — what they are or are not wearing
instead of who they are and what they are doing.
Always the victim: Muslim women have been portrayed in the
mass media as voiceless, submissive, passive, and oppressed
victims instead of the powerful and creative leaders that they are.
All the same: Despite having diverse opinions, cultures, and
occupations, Muslim women are portrayed all alike.
80

There is a contradiction between women’s central active role in creating
society and their marginalization in meaning-giving processes.
Women are essential and central to creating society.
Women have made history, yet they have been kept from knowing it.
Women have been excluded from creating symbol systems and theory
formation.
Yet, women's significance in history is key for women's empowerment.
The myth that women are marginal to the creation of history and civilization
has profoundly affected the psychology of women and men.
The denial of women about their history has reinforced their acceptance of the
ideology of patriarchy and has undermined the individual woman’s sense
of self-worth.
Men’s version of history has become the universal truth.
One cannot think universal when oneself is excluded from the generic.
Source: Gerda Lerner. The Creation of Patriarchy.
Women are the daily targets of negative narratives, repeated so often by
everyone that they become unquestionable truths.
You are fat.
You can’t please
your partner.
You are a bad
mother.
You are not
enough.
Women change
opinion all the time.
Women don’t
know how to
drive.
Women lie.
Women are
emotional.
And they are silenced by
different means.
Speaking louder.
Speaking on behalf of them.
Occupying the space.
Interrupting the conversation.
Not listening to them.
Making fun of them.
These constant messages have a
huge impact in terms of self-esteem.
Image: Ban Bossy

In The Confidence Code, Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
interview different female world leaders and explore their
own confidence gap.
And imposter syndrome appears.
Imposter Syndrome
Reality
What
I
know
What I think
others know
What
I
know
But this confidence gap is not individual, it’s collective!
How could it be different with the stories we listen to?
The patriarchal lens limits our vision in both range and depth.
Men and women live on a stage.
But men have written the play and directed the show.
Equal parts will not make women equal if the script is still written by men.
From “you are invisible” to “you are half of the reality.”
WOMEN’S HISTORY
IS A PRIMARY TOOL
FOR WOMEN’S EMANCIPATION.
— Gerda Lerner
As Hillary Clinton rightfully said, it’s time to make herstory!
BECAUSE THOSE WHO TELL THE STORIES
RULE THE WORLD!
82

SOME
SOLUTIONS
83

New Products
We need to reclaim the power of the narrative at both the individual and
the collective levels.
Women’s history is indispensable and essential to the emancipation of women.
It changes their lives.
We need a shift of consciousness.
As we shifted from the Ptolemaic to the Copernican vision of the universe...
SUN
SATURN
VENUS
EARTH
MERCURY
JUPITER
EARTH
MOON
SATURN
VENUS
SUN
MERCURY
JUPITER
WE ARE
THE STORIES
WE TELL
OURSELVES.
MOON
— Joan Didion
MARS
MARS
...so we need to change the stories we tell
about ourselves.
And we need to reclaim women’s role in history.
YOU ARE
THE HERO
OF YOUR
OWN STORY.
— Joseph Campbell
In Spain, Animosa is celebrating
amazing women through different
products.
Giving new role
models to our
daughters.
84

New Skill
New Heroes
And we need more female storytellers!
We need to show the world through a woman’s lens.
DON'T HATE
THE MEDIA,
BECOME
THE MEDIA.
– Jello Biafra
Global Girl Media teaches young girls to be citizen journalists.
Lensational uses recycled and donated cameras to organize photography
workshops for underserved women, allowing them to capture their world
and tell their own stories.
Women whose voices are rarely heard, from domestic helpers in Hong Kong to
children of sex workers in Pakistan, are taking photos thanks to Lensational’s
photography training.
We need to celebrate the women who have
made it and learn about their work.
And we need to create specific communities.
The collective Women who draw is showcasing
women illustrators.
Rawiya is a photography cooperative made up
of six female photographers from across the
Middle East who have pooled their resources, contacts, and talents to
strengthen their work and to expand their reach.
85

Specific Communities
Visualize
Tanya Habjouqa, part of Rawiya, wants her
photographs to say: “Put aside your pre-conceived
notions, come and take a closer look at our region.”
Future of Women creates original
multimedia by and about women from
around the world, empowering women
and girls to act on their dreams.
Designed for future of women by @4ur3lia
Women Photograph is a website featuring
more than 400 female photo journalists
from 67 countries.
SheSays is an award-winning
organization running free mentorship and
events to women in the creative industry.
We need to tell more stories about women from a female perspective.
The Atlas Of Beauty is a project about our planet’s
diversity shown through portraits of women.
For nearly four years, Mihaela Noroc has been
photographing natural women surrounded by
their environment in more than 50 countries.
86

Visualize
Counter Storytelling
New Heroes
Political is personal, reversing the famous feminist slogan from Kate Millet, is
an initiative that conducts in-depth interviews with Israeli Jewish and Palestinian
women in which they safely and freely share how their lives have been affected
by the realities of this conflict.
Because an image is a powerful tool to challenge stereotypes…
Like the exhibition Same look, same rights in Morocco.
Or another Moroccan project, Macho Mouchkil, denouncing everyday sexism.
We need more women painting our streets.
Girl Power is a documentary that presents
female graffiti writers from 15 cities – cities as
diverse as Prague, Moscow, Cape Town, Sydney,
Madrid, Berlin, Toulouse, Barcelona and New
York. The graffiti community is predominantly a
man's world, and men often share the view that
graffiti – namely the illegal kind – is not for girls.
And yet women have become increasingly more
emancipated in recent years. There are female
graffiti shows, magazines, and websites. Girl
Power captures the stories of women who have
succeeded in the male-dominated graffiti world.
Street Heroines is a documentary film that
looks at the courage and creativity of female
graffiti and street artists from around the world.
From New York City to São Paulo and Mexico
City, Street Heroines gives voice to women
fighting social injustice with creativity in this
male-dominated subculture.
Shamsia Hassani, Afghanistan’s first female street artist, has emerged as
a spokesperson for women’s rights in Kabul.
87

Data Mining
New Heroes
This piece is a well-known reference to the uprising of
women in the Arab world social media campaign that
aims to empower Arab women through digital media
such as photographs, story sharing, and memes.
The Fearless Collective creates space to
move from fear to love using participative art.
The Fearless Collective was started in 2012 by
artist Shilo Shiv Suleman and has grown under
the love and guidance of a network of artists and
activists from around the world.
Panmela Castro is a Brazilian artist who utilizes graffiti as a
platform to raise awareness of women's rights and the
prevalence of domestic violence against women in Brazil.
We need more female DJs, rappers, and musicians.
The Tumblr blog Very Male Line-ups is highlighting
all-male or mostly-male club/gig/festival line-ups and
helping bromoters do better.
female:pressure is an international network
of female, transgender, and non-binary artists
in the fields of electronic music and digital
arts founded by Electric Indigo.
female:pressure has created a database with
more than 2,000 members from 74 countries
to boost communication with and
representation of female electronic artists.
The network comprises over 2,000 members
from 74 countries as of August 2017.
88

Data Mining New Heroes Infiltrate
And rap is becoming the new feminist weapon.
Paradise Sorouri became Afghanistan's first female rapper after being forced to
flee her country twice, and Sonita Alizadeh is an Afghan rapper and activist who
has been vocal against forced marriages. Listen to them!
In Russia, Pussy Riot is challenging the power of the state and the orthodox
church.
NEVER FORGET THAT ROCK N’ ROLL WAS INVENTED BY A
QUEER BLACK WOMAN.
– Sister Rosetta Tharpe
We need more movies and TV shows
created by women.
Because media is shaping our world view.
Founded by Academy-Award® winning actor and advocate Geena Davis, The
Institute on Gender in Media is the first research-based organization working
within the media and entertainment industry to engage, educate, and influence
content creators, marketers and audiences about the importance of eliminating
unconditional bias, highlighting gender balance, challenging stereotypes,
creating role models and scripting a wide variety of strong female characters in
entertainment and media that targets and influences children ages 11 and under.
Research informs and empowers.
Children are engaging with media up to 7 hours a day and consuming massive
amounts of unconscious bias in the programming they’re consuming.
Media can greatly influence children’s social and cultural behaviors and
beliefs.
Negative stereotypes children see in media can create life-long imprints that
can affect their attitudes toward male and female roles in our society as well
as career occupations and self-esteem.
89

Data Mining New Heroes Infiltrate
This is the only research-driven organization collaborating with the media and
entertainment industry to expose gender.
Source: Geena Davis Institute
We need to restore diversity in the media.
For example, Shonda Rhimes is incorporating feminist
values in mainstream media.
YOU SHOULD GET
TO TURN ON THE
TV AND SEE
YOUR TRIBE.
— Shonda Rhimes
Her TV show Scandal is the first network drama with a black woman as its lead
in nearly four decades.
Viola Davis is the first black woman to win the Emmy for best lead actress in a
drama.
New inspiring female protagonists are starting to appear...
Katniss Everdeen in the Hunger Games
Marjane Satrapi in Persepolis
Merida in Brave
...with a real impact.
68% of viewers of Commander in Chief, a TV show portraying Geena Davis as
the first female President of the United States, say they were more likely to
accept a female president.
Reese Witherspoon's Pacific Standard production company is supporting new
female voices in film. Pacific Standard has produced the movies Gone Girl, Wild,
and HBO series Big Little Lies, which all include female protagonists and portray
reality from a female perspective.
Meryl Streep also funded a Lab for Women Screenwriters over 40.
We Do It Together is a nonprofit production company created to finance and
produce media uniquely dedicated to the empowerment of women.
And Sweden started rating its movies with the Bechdel test in 2013. 90

Visualize
Counter Storytelling
We need new media channels featuring the other half of the story.
Since the larger media channels are mostly run by men and follow traditional
cash cow strategies, women leverage new media to create their own channels,
thus bypassing traditional structures.
"Women represent half the global population, and it reflects probably about half
the Netflix member population as well," Netflix's Vice President of Original
Content, Cindy Holland, points out. "So excluding women from seeing
themselves and their issues dramatized on screen doesn’t seem like a good
idea."
Source: Glamour 2017. Jessica Radloff.
The streaming platform has delivered with shows like Grace and Frankie,
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Orange Is the New Black, The OA, The Crown,
Marvel's Jessica Jones, One Day at a Time, Fuller House, and GLOW.
In fact, with 91 Emmy nominations for Netflix this year (second only to HBO),
more than half of those nominations are either for a series with a female lead or
feature a female nominee.
New media has been a game-changer for feminism.
In France, newsletters like the Georgette Sand, madmoiZelle, les Glorieuses
ou Les Nouvelles News are focusing on the other side of the story.
91

Counter Storytelling
Les Internettes is a collective of women
producing videos.
The Washington Post launched The Lily, a new publication for millennial women
with a mission to inform, empower and expose diverse voices and perspectives.
Vice and Unilever teamed up to launch Broadly, a female-focused channel.
BitchMedia's mission is to provide and encourage an engaged, thoughtful
feminist response to media and popular culture.
We are the XX is a media collective featuring women’s stories.
Many feminist podcasts are rocking the scene, like Sex
Nerd Sandra, Women of the Hour with Lena Dunham,
the Guilty Feminist, Black Girls Talking or, in France, La
Poudre.
Blogs are also a powerful channel to challenge mainstream narratives.
Lallab is a French online magazine and
association aiming at giving voices to muslim
women experiencing sexist and racist
comments every day.
92

Counter Storytelling
Muslim Girl is a website for young Muslim women to talk about their identities
and other aspects of their lives.
Guerrilla Girls is reiventing the F word.
They consider themselves as feminist masked avengers in the tradition of
anonymous do-gooders like Robin Hood, Wonder Woman, and Batman. How do
they expose sexism, racism and corruption in politics, art, film, and pop culture?
With facts, humor, and outrageous visuals. They reveal the understory, the
subtext, the overlooked, and the downright unfair.
And we need those who have the most visibility to speak up and fight.
Ever since Patricia Arquette won Best Supporting Actress at the 2015 Oscars
and used her acceptance speech to address unequal pay in Hollywood, gender
disparity has been a hot topic. Cheered on in the audience by Meryl Streep,
Arquette announced that it was “time for equal rights for women.”
Stars such as Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, Jessica Chastain, Romola Garai,
Geena Davis, and Amanda Seyfried have also raised the issue of Hollywood
sexism.
British director Amma Asante has hit out at the film industry’s “misguided
distrust” of female fi lm-makers.
Keira Knightley has spoken out over the lack of women working behind the
camera in Hollywood, in a new interview.
Ava DuVernay, who made "Selma," pointed out that only two of the 100
top-grossing films in 2014 were directed by women.
She urged constant vigilance and proactive searching within the industry:
‘‘We have to ask our agents about that script by the woman screenwriter. We
have to ask, ‘Hey, are there any women agents here that I could talk to?.’ We
have to ask our lawyers about women in the office. We have to ask, when we’re
thinking about directors or D.P.s, ‘Will women interview?”
93

Madonna gave a powerful speech on being a woman in the music industry
Billboards awards.
An excerpt:
“I stand before you as a doormat. Oh, I mean, as a female entertainer.
Thank you for acknowledging my ability to continue my career for 34 years in the
face of blatant sexism and misogyny and constant bullying and relentless abuse.
There are no rules — if you’re a boy. If you’re a girl, you have to play the game.
What is that game? You are allowed to be pretty and cute and sexy. But don’t
act too smart. Don’t have an opinion. Don’t have an opinion that is out of line
with the status quo, at least. You are allowed to be objectified by men and dress
like a slut, but don’t own your sluttiness. And do not, I repeat, do not, share your
own sexual fantasies with the world.
Be what men want you to be. But more importantly, be what women feel
comfortable with you being around other men. And finally, do not age. Because
to age is a sin. You will be criticized, you will be vilified, and you will definitely not
be played on the radio.”
WOMEN HAVE BEEN SO OPPRESSED FOR SO
LONG THEY BELIEVE WHAT MEN HAVE TO
SAY ABOUT THEM.
— Madonna
Oprah Winfrey gave a powerful speech about sexual harassment, racial
injustice and press freedom which brought the Golden Globes audience to
their feet:
“For too long, women have not been heard or believed if they dare speak the
truth to the power of those men. But their time is up. So I want all the girls
watching here, now, to know that a new day is on the horizon!”
The recent initiative Time's Up seeks gender parity at movie studios and has
started a legal-defense fund for women in other industries who are sexually
harassed and assaulted in the workplace.
TIME IS UP!
94

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
95

Watch movies or TV shows
portraying inspiring female
characters.
Read female authors.
Buy art work from female
artists.
Subscribe to feminist
newsletters.
Listen to a feminist podcast.
Write to artists on Twitter
about sexism in their lyrics or
videos.
Launch a campaign to raise
awareness about it.
Stop watching regular TV or
be more aware of the
programs you watch.
Read about female historical
figures.
Set up a feminist musical
playlist to listen to on your way
to work.
Ask concerts and festivals you
attend for a diverse
representation of artists.
Read The Confidence Code
and rewire your brain.
Challenge your own imposter
syndrome.
Be more mindful about the
stories you tell about yourself.
Perform the Bechdel test on
movies and shows you are
watching.
Explain to your friends what
the male gaze is.
Boycott sexist movies, shows,
festivals...and be vocal about
it.
Write a play, a blog, a novel.
Publish your photos, paintings,
podcast.
Grab a camera, a pen, or a
mic and start producing your
own story!
STORIES HAVE THE
POWER TO
BALANCE THE WORLD!
96

Chapter 3 – Advertising
97

THE PROBLEM:
THE MAD
MEN WORLD
Image: Moderna de pueblo

We live in an ocean of sexist messages.

We are bombarded by approximately 3,000 commercials per day.
Producing strong subliminal influences,
unconsciously reinforcing sexist stereotypes. The
effects are especially damaging for developing
minds.
In 2007, Dove released the Onslaught video,
showing a young girl bombarded with images
from TV, print, and outdoor advertising
campaigns for lingerie, weight loss, lipstick,
exercise regimes, skin treatment, and plastic
surgery. With the final message: “Talk to your
daughter before the beauty industry does.”
65% of women and girls have an eating
disorder in the US.
According to UN Women, 50% of girls aged
6-8 are unhappy with their weight.
The average American woman is a size 14, but
the average plus-size model is a size 8.
95% of anorexics and bulimics are women.
Source: Body Positive Movement. The Representation Project
Despite the progress of the women's movement, writer and
journalist Naomi Wolf is troubled by a different kind of social
control, which, she argues, may prove just as restrictive as the
traditional image of homemaker and wife. It's the beauty myth, an
obsession with physical perfection that traps the modern woman
in an endless spiral of hope, self-consciousness, and self-hatred,
as she tries to fulfill society's impossible definition of "the flawless
beauty.”
According to Susie Orbach: “TV appeared in Fiji islands in 1995 with its multiple
American TV shows. In 1998, only 3 years later, 11.9% of teenage girls were
suffering bulimia, a behavior unknown up to that moment."
The book Face Value: The Hidden Ways Beauty Shapes Women’s Lives
takes aim at a culture of paradox that tells women they should be beautiful, but
that they should never feel beautiful enough.
100

$16.4 billion was spent on cosmetic procedures in the U.S. in 2016. Women
comprise the vast majority of people who opt for plastic surgery and cosmetic
procedures, accounting for 92% of all operations in 2016.
Source: American Society of Plastic Surgeons
Negative portrayals of women in ads take a toll.
60 seconds of exposure to ads featuring underweight models can decrease a
woman's self-image.
41% of 18-to-24-year-old women retouch their own photos before posting
them to social media sites.
93% of women believe portraying females as sex symbols in advertising is
harmful.
33% of young women are dissatisfied with their looks, up from 26% just two
years earlier.
Cultural norms make women believe that caring for their external appearance
answers their deepest needs and aspirations, that spending more time and
money helps them to feel better. Patriarchy feeds itself on perpetual female
insecurity. Just look at the message from beauty and luxury brands that finance
women’s magazines. And imagine the mental load and the budget dedicated to
shaving, waxing, hairdressing, and losing weight! Being a feminist saves you time
and money!
Source: She Knows Media
Brands not only foster gender stereotypes,
they alsoprice women's and men's products
differently.
Products marketed for women and girls are more
expensive. This is called the Pink Tax.
48%
57%
MORE ON
HAIR PRODUCTS
MORE ON
HAIR CUTS
THE PINK TAX PRICE DIFFERENCE
PERSONAL CARE PRODUCTS
13%
92%
MORE ON
DRY CLEANED
SHIRTS
ADULT CLOTHING
TOYS AND ACCESSORIES
8%
7%
13%
MORE ON TERM
LIFE INSURANCE

WHY?
According to a study by The 3% Conference,
the advertising industry is still disproportionately
run by middle-aged white men.
ADVERTISING IS
DOMINATED BY
WHITE GUYS
TALKING TO
WHITE GUYS.
— Cindy Gallop
Percentage of women in these roles
11.6%
Copywriters
9.6%
Art Directors
3.6%
Creative Directors
So why are there so few women in Creative Director roles?
The climate for women at many agencies is often unsupportive and can even
be outright discriminatory.
25% personally experienced gender discrimination.
23% personally experienced or witnessed sexual harassment. Only 8% who
experienced it said the responsible party was punished.
The advertising industry does not have a recruitment problem, but a retention
problem when it comes to gender diversity in creative departments. Portfolio
schools are graduating equal (if not greater) number of women than men. Yet
these same women “disappear” from the field right around the time they have
the appropriate level of experience to be CDs (lack of mentorship, lack of
visibility of female CDs, or lack of support for motherhood).
Source: The 3% conference
And it’s a terrible strategic mistake.
Women control 73% of consumer purchasing and $20 trillion of the world’s
annual consumer spending.
They are more active on social networks and more likely to share a brand’s
message with others. Women also represent the majority of early tech
adopters, social gamers, and are amassing wealth at rates that will culminate
in control $22 trillion of US wealth by the end of this decade.
102

And 91% of women reported they
didn’t think that advertisers
understood them.
Source: The 3% conference
Last year, Unilever analyzed the stereotypes
that still exist in advertising:
THE ADVERTISING
BUSINESS IS A
$33B INDUSTRY.
MISUNDERSTANDING
FEMALE CONSUMERS,
FROM A BUSINESS
PERSPECTIVE,
IS SHEER LUNACY.
— Kat Gordon,
Founder of The 3% Conference
Just 3% of ads featured women in a leadership or managerial role.
Other findings revealed almost all women (90%) felt they were
presented as sex symbols.
And 40% of women did not identify with the portrayal of women in
advertising spots.
Unilever spends nearly $10 billion a year on ads, and 85% of all brand
purchases are made by women. There is a problem here.
More progressive ads generate more engagement, visibility, and brand
impact.
Companies that provide more authentic portrayals of both sexes could be
rewarded by customers.
That's what happened to Unilever's Dove brand after it rolled out its "real
beauty" campaign more than a decade ago, which featured women of all
shapes and sizes.
At the campaign's 10-year mark, the brand had seen sales increase from $2.5
billion to $4 billion.
Keith Weed, Chief Marketing & Communications Officer at Unilever, has
pointed to the success of the “real beauty” campaign as evidence that there's
a business incentive for ad stereotypes to change.
103

Femvertising sells!
Femvertising is organized by SheKnows Media as, “advertising that employs
pro-female talent, messages and imagery to empower women and girls.” Nike
saw a 15% increase in quarterly revenue, largely due to its efforts to cater to
women. Dove sales jumped from $2.5 billion to $4 billion when its Campaign for
Real Beauty initially launched. Sales for Getty Images’ Lean in Collection grew
54% from February to June 2014.
Source: She Knows Media
ADVERTISING CAN BE THE MOST POWERFUL
CHANGE-MAKER IN THE WORLD BECAUSE
OF ITS UNIQUE RELATIONSHIP TO TELEVISION.
— Madeline Di Nonno, Geena Davis Institute
104

SOME
SOLUTIONS
105

The Power of the Crowd
Visualize
Speak up
Some consumers are creating an online response to sexist ads, such as
Macholand in France...
...or Pinkstinks in Germany.
Some websites allow you to rate the
sexism of ads.
Some body positive movements portray more realistic ads and images.
The Body Positive movement is a movement that encourages people to adopt
more forgiving and affirming attitudes towards their bodies, with the goal of
improving overall health and well-being.
All Woman Project (AWP) improves the life
of girls and women worldwide by displaying
a true, beautiful, positive and un-retouched
image of women in photo and video
campaigns throughout the year.
The AWP is also taking actions where body image and self-esteem is most
challenging — in schools — by organizing events, workshops, and meetings
with school girls from elementary school to college age.
106

The Power of the Crowd
Boycott
All bodies are good bodies.
Filmmakers and activists are also raising awareness
on this issue.
Written and directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom, the 2011
award-winning documentary Miss Representation
exposes how mainstream media and culture is selling
young people the idea that girls’ and women’s value lies in
their youth, beauty, and sexuality rather than their capacity
as leaders.
Following the documentary, The
Representation Project launched different
social media campaigns.
And they even released the Notbuying it app
where users can upload sexist or inspiring
media they see, scroll through images posted
by others, and immediately let brands on Twitter
know how they feel!
The impact of the campaign
was massive.
You can also use your purchasing power
to pressure brands.
Purse Power has released a list of
companies to help you make purchasing
decisions.

Specific Communities
Toolkit
New agencies are created.
The 3% Movement came along when only 3% of all U.S. Creative Directors
were women. The movement is publishing different reports, organizing an annual
inspiring event, consulting different agencies and gathering a powerful
community.
Their motto: Diversity = Creativity = Profitability
The 3% conference issued a list of 100 things you can do right now to
increase gender diversity in the advertising industry. Here are
some examples:
Launch a company-wide audit to measure whether your efforts at diversity are
fruitful.
Get trained. Act on the new awareness by calling out bias when you see it.
Transparency around pay is key to workplace satisfaction so agencies should
conduct a wage audit, equalize pay where necessary, and publicize the
results.
Evaluate policies and workloads to identify ways in which the agency can be
more family-friendly and human-focused.
Enforce a No-Tolerance Policy on sexual harassment. Stick to it. The existence
of policies is not what creates change, enforcement is.
Offer "returnships" to women who have paused their careers to provide care
for those they love. Great talent is ready to come back to work.
Regularly evaluate your teams, accounts and award show entries to ensure
that all employees are given a fair share of high-visibility work opportunity.
Include women and people of color in the recruiting, interviewing, and hiring
process.
Invite clients to your office expressly to discuss the issue of diversity and how
you can both work together to support it.
Check to see how many women are on the board of your holding company. If
none, or few, shoot the CEO an email.
Establish a clear, unbiased, non-retaliatory grievance policy that allows
employees to comment or report on treatment in the workplace.
Banish the term “women’s account” from your vocabulary. Virtually every
consumer category is dominated by female influence, including automotive

and electronics.
Enable telework and make it a company policy that flexible work schedules
should not affect anyone’s opportunity for advancement.
Amplify the ideas of women in meetings. By reiterating a thought shared and
attributing it to the woman who offered it, you endorse worthy ideas and
ensure the appropriate person is remembered for them.
Appoint a clearly accountable person for Diversity and Inclusion at your
agency.
Report publicly about your agency’s diversity progress.
Refuse to speak at conferences with a speaker lineup that doesn’t include at
least 20% women. Be vocal when you attend conferences that fall short on
diversity, tweeting and posting your observations. Conference organizers need
to know that attendees value women on the power panels, not just on the
“women’s panels.”
Encourage your CEO to make a public statement and his or her commitment
to gender equality via a blogpost, speech, op-ed piece, or annual report.
Have your female CDs pledge to speak at one conference every year.
Consider amending your creative brief to include language that makes a
dedicated commitment to a respectful depiction of women.
Don’t wait for a sexual harassment lawsuit to have a stated policy about your
agency’s stance about how such behavior will be handled.
Enter work from all your teams into award shows, not just from established
hotshots.
Help all your creatives become persuasive presenters.
Revamp your recruitment ads: Feature female managers (instead of stock
photos of men) and send a message of innovation, vision, and enthusiasm.
Write your recruitment ads with an understanding of top items that motivate
women in the workforce: making a difference, being challenged, believing in
the company’s direction, a sense of satisfaction in their team, and recognition.
Host exit interviews and ask departing women why they’re going and what the
agency could have done to retain them.
Create a maternity leave policy and a paternity leave policy.
Source: The 3% Conference
Some brands have begun to propose new types of ads.

And the recently-launched Unstereotype Alliance has set out to eradicate
outdated stereotypes in advertising.
At the Cannes Lions Festival of Creativity, Unilever
and UN Women convened the inaugural session of
the Unstereotype Alliance. Alliance
members—Johnson & Johnson, Procter &
Gamble, Microsoft, Diageo, AT&T—vowed to try to
proactively address and eliminate stereotypes in
advertising worldwide.
The Alliance will build on Unilever’s 2016 “Unstereotype” campaign, which aims
to accelerate progress around how women and men are portrayed in ads and
brand-led content.
Cannes Lions Festival of Creativity even
created a new award to recognize
advertising that challenges gender norms.
SheKnows Media launched the #Femvertising Awards in 2015 to honor brands
that are challenging gender norms by building stereotype-busting, pro-female
messages and images into ads that target women.
BRANDS HAVE
IMMENSE POWER
TO SHATTER
STEREOTYPES
AND OVERTURN
CLICHÉS.
— Sheryl Sandberg. Lean In.
Image: Pantene
110

City mayors have started to take a stand.
The mayor of London, Sadiq Khan, has moved to ban from the city’s transport
network ads that promote unrealistic expectations about body image and health.
And even countries are stepping up!
Britain’s Advertising Standards Agency announced in July 2017 that it will ban
sexist ads, such as spots that depict women as solely responsible for cleaning
or ones that show men as clumsy parents.
111

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
112

As a brand
Challenge the sexist stereotypes in your own communication material.
Step out of classic outdated messages!
As an advertising agency
Propose ads challenging classic stereotypes.
Advise brands on how to communicate with the people who manage
85% of purchases: women!
Create an event/community of women working in advertising.
As a consumer
Use your purse power.
Interact with brands on social media.
Denounce sexist ads.
Launch a social media campaign.
Watch Miss Representation.
Stop buying women’s magazines.
Love your body!
Boycott brands who do not respect your values.
113

As a parent
Limit the exposure of your children to ads.
Stop criticizing your own body in front of your children.
Be mindful of your remarks to your children on their appearance.
As a professional
Start your own agency!
THE WORLD
IS A DANGEROUS
PLACE NOT BECAUSE
OF THOSE WHO DO
EVIL, BUT BECAUSE
OF THOSE WHO LOOK
ON AND DO NOTHING.
— Albert Einstein
114

Chapter 4 – Language
115

THE PROBLEM:
OUR LANGUAGE
IS ANDROCENTRIC
116

In our language, male is generic: mankind, manpower, man-made, etc.
The masculine, by the presence of even one male, is the default.
"Every student in the classroom did his best on the exam."
We even address groups of female friends with “You guys.”
And the parody Twitter account @manwhohasitall shows how ridiculous
the opposite would be:
Masculine is universal.
Images: © The Man Who Has it All
In our gendered language, “Mr.” can refer to any man, whether he is single or
married, but “Miss” and “Mrs.” define women by their marital status.
Women are identified as appendages both of a man and of an institution:
Corporate wives, Senate wives, faculty wives.
Writers sometimes refer to women using only their first names in contexts
where they would typically refer to men by their full names, last names, or
titles.
From air hostesses to firemen, it's time to drop gendered job titles.
In many countries around the world, women adopt their husband's name
when they get married, erasing their former identity.
HUMANITY IS MALE AND MAN DEFINES WOMAN
NOT IN HIMSELF BUT AS RELATIVE TO HIM;
SHE IS NOT REGARDED AS AN AUTONOMOUS
HUMAN BEING.
— Judith Baxter
117

Language shapes our thinking.
Culture defines reality. And language determines how we interpret it.
When our language excludes women, the mental image created also excludes
women.
ON TOP OF IT ALL, EVERY DAY,
WE USE WORDS AND EXPRESSIONS WITH SEXIST
CONNOTATIONS WITHOUT EVEN
BEING AWARE OF IT
When doing something like a girl is an insult.
MY COACH SAID I
RAN LIKE A GIRL,
AND I SAID IF HE
RAN A LITTLE FASTER,
HE COULD DO TOO.
— Mia Hamm, former professional soccer player,
two-time Olympic gold medalist, and two-time
FIFA Women's World Cup champion.
WHY IS HE CALLED BOSS BUT
SHE'S CALLED BOSSY?
When your genitals dictate your courage and inner strength.
It’s a business,
grow a pair.
Have some balls.
Don’t be a pussy.
118

When we suppose that women are in constant competition.
When two men or groups of men are vocally
disagreeing, we call it debating, or discussion. If
they yell, we call it robust or heated. Or Parliament.
When two groups of women are debating, let’s call
it debating, too.
#Malegaze
When we “tone police” women.
“I would listen to you if you were not so aggressive / angry / hysterical …”
“I will talk to you when you have calmed down.”
Image: © The Man Who Has it All
When we provide unsolicited instructions for how others should look,
think, and act.
And dismissing it all as if it did not
matter.
THIS WAS LOCKER
ROOM TALK.
— Donald Trump
Image: © The Man Who Has it All
119

BUT SOMETIMES SEXISM
IS MORE SUBTLE
A few examples of sexist expressions from the Women’s Media Center:
Trophy wife: Introduced in Fortune magazine’s 1989 article, “The CEO’s
Second Wife,” this term describes a pattern among chief executives to discard
longtime spouses for women typically younger, “sometimes several inches
taller, beautiful and very often accomplished.” (There are so far no trophy
husbands, although the “toyboy” may represent the practice stage.)
Family man: Homebody, stay-at-home, family head, home-lover,
family-oriented/family-centered/home-centered person, someone devoted to
the family. Note the lack of parallel for women; all women are evidently “family
women.”
Blonde: The use of “blond” as a noun is reserved for women, whereas
equating a man with his hair color is uncommon. We say, “She’s such a
blond,” to describe a woman’s personality, usually derogatorily, but never a
man.
Bombshell/blonde bombshell (woman): These terms are militaristic, violent,
and sexist (there is no parallel for a man); they portray women as destructive
to men, even though superficially, they appear complimentary.
Brunette: Although the base (male) term is “brunet,” it is rarely used, most
likely because referring to people’s hair color is largely reserved for women.
Can you imagine calling a man “a brunet”? Question the labeling of women by
facets of their appearance and the need to talk about their hair.
Source: Unspinning the Spin: The Women’s Media Center Guide to
Fair & Accurate Language, by Rosalie Maggio
Defining women by their relationship
to men and children:
Commenting on other people’s
sexuality or sexual expressions:
Spinster
Barren
She wears the pants
Housewife
Houseproud
Soccer mom
Mistress
Kept woman
Slut
Frigid
Easy
Tease
Loose
Cougar
Asking for it
Prude
120

These words are used to describe women, while the same behavior by men goes
unremarked.
Using patronizing words of praise:
Career woman
Feisty
Supermom
Working mother
Yummy mummy
Caring
Compassionate
Hard-working
Conscientious
Dependable
Diligent
Tactful
Interpersonal
Warm
Helpful
Celebrating women for a
behaviour that is unthreatening to
the patriarchy:
Ladylike
Bubbly
Vivacious
Flirty
Sassy
Chatty
Demure
Modest
Image: © The Man Who Has it All
Dismissing women as pawns of their
hormones and physicality:
Emotional
Hysterical
Hormonal
Menstrual or pre-menstrual
Flaky
Moody
Over-sensitive
Neurotic
Irrational
Baby brain
Baby weight
121

Because a woman should not be…
Bossy
Abrasive
Ball-buster
Aggressive
Shrill
Bolshy
Intense
Stroppy
Forward
Mannish
Gossipy
Dramatic (as in Drama Queen)
Catty
Bitchy
Nag
Cold
Ice queen
Shrew
Humourless
Man-hater
Feminazi
Militant
Bridezilla
Diva
Prima donna
Gold digger
Banshee
Fishwife
Lippy Ditzy
Source: 122 subtly sexist words
about women. Sacraparental.
FEMINAZI: BECAUSE EXPECTING
GENDER EQUALITY IS JUST LIKE
COMMITTING GENOCIDE
And it happens at all levels.
SUCH A NASTY
WOMAN.
— Donald Trump
Image: © The Man Who Has it All
In French as well.
Avoir des couilles.
Etre hystérique.
Elle a ses règles?
Bon père de famille.
Le sexe faible.
Il faut souffrir pour être belle.
Mal baisée.
Elle a dû coucher pour réussir.
122

Nique ta mère.
Garçon manqué.
Fais pas ta pute.
Femme au volant, mort au tournant.
Tu ne vas pas te laisser battre par
une fille.
La ménagère de moins de 50 ans.
Derrière chaque grand homme, se
cache une grande femme.
Fais pas la gonzesse.
Fée du logis.
Ecole maternelle.
ADD ON TOP OF IT ALL THE
SUBLIMINAL CONTAMINATION
OF SONG LYRICS
When blurring the lines between consensual sex and rape becomes the
summer anthem.
“I'm trying to find the words to describe this
girl without being disrespectful. Damn girl
who's a sexy bitch.”
– David Guetta
“Turn around, bitch, I got a use for you,
besides, you ain’t got nothing better to do,
and I’m bored.”
– Guns 'N Roses
“I'll give you something big enough to tear
your ass in two. Do it like it hurt, like it hurt.
What, you don't like work?”
– Robin Thicke
“Slut, think I won't choke no whore 'til her
vocal chords don't work in her throat no
more?”
– Eminem
“Fuck a bitch; don't tease bitch, strip tease
bitch. Eat a bowl of these bitch, gobble the
dick.”
– Dr. Dre
“Le comble enfin, misérable salope/
Comme il n’restait plus rien dans le
garde-manger/T’as couru sans vergogne,
et pour une escalope/Te jeter dans le lit du
boucher!”
– Georges Brassens
“La misogynie, c’est interessant vous savez.
Il faut être misogyne. (...) Il faut savoir
mettre les femmes à leur place. (...) Et
quand on a fini de les adorer, il faut qu’elles
nous foutent la paix.”
– Léo Férré
“J’ai envie de violer des femmes/De les
forcer à m’admirer/Envie de boire toutes
leurs larmes/Et de disparaître en fumée.”
– Michel Sardou
I KNOW YOU WANT IT!
123

WHAT IS THE IMPACT OF THIS
VIOLENT COMMUNICATION MODE?
We bully ourselves, we use violent communication patterns, we criticize more
than we praise, and humiliate others constantly because we have been trained to
see the universe as hierarchical.
Multiple studies suggest rude language can impair cognition.
We just don’t think as clearly when we’re insulted, and we also seem to like
each other less.
In one study from 2001, women kept diaries of the sexist or demeaning
comments they heard. The more such comments women heard in a day, the
more they felt angry and depressed, and the less they thought of themselves.
Male-dominated language reinforces sexist attitudes and behaviors.
Women are ignored and deprecated every day in general conversations as
well as important discourse. How could this not have an effect on women's
status and mental state?
7% of women in the United States are depressed, which is twice the rate of
depression among men (3.5%).
Depression in women often stems from gender inequality, role strain, tendency
to ruminate, stress response, child birth, dietary problems, body image, and
poverty.
Sexualization of girls is linked to common mental health problems in girls and
women: eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression.
Source: https://thelanguageweuse.wordpress.com
124

SOME
SOLUTIONS
125

Toolkit
Humor
As a journalist, make sure you can reverse the expressions you use.
Leverage humor again!
Source: Women Media Center, Media Guide
Hilarious and thought-provoking, the Man Who Has It All
account on Twitter and Facebook highlights the ridiculousness
of the patronizing advice thrown at working mothers every day
by reimagining it with fathers in mind.
126

Humor
Reverse
Visualize
I’VE LEARNED THAT PEOPLE WILL FORGET
WHAT YOU SAID, PEOPLE WILL FORGET
WHAT YOU DID, BUT PEOPLE WILL NOT
FORGET HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.
— Maya Angelou
Make parodies of offensive songs!
Three Auckland law students made a shot-for-shot parody of Robin Thicke's
"Blurred Lines" video. They replaced topless female models with nearly naked
men and changed the lyrics to voice their frustration with the sexualization and
objectification of women in the original video.
The tongue-in-cheek satire – entitled Defined Lines – immediately went viral,
but YouTube removed the video for indecency and inappropriate content, even
though the original remained intact. #doublestandard
Avoid gender bias in reference writing.
Letters of reference for women are 7 times more likely to mention personal life.
Keep it professional. Mention research and publications.
On average, letters for men are 16% longer than letters for women. Emphasize
accomplishments, not effort.
Avoid adjectives as caring, compassionate, hard-working, helpful, diligent,
dedicated, warm.
Include adjectives as successful, excellent, accomplished, outstanding, skilled,
knowledgeable, insightful, confident, ambitious, independent, intellectual.
Source: University of Arizona. Commission on the Status of Women.
Students from Duke University decided to launch the #YouDontSay social
media campaign to challenge sexist expressions.
127

Visualize
When leadership skill is seen as a
turn-off.
When we unconsciously shame
women for their behavior.
When being strong is a burden.
When we associate strength and
courage with masculinity.
WORDS MATTER. WHEN A LITTLE GIRL IS CALLED
BOSSY WHEN SHE LEADS, IT’S TELLING HER TO
BE QUIET. I DON’T WANT GIRLS TO BE QUIET.
I WANT THEM TO ROAR!
— Jennifer Garner
128

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
129

Being mindful of your language is the easiest thing you can do.
Four simple steps to use more inclusive language.
1
Know your situation! Upon entering a room or a crowd, note the people
who are there. Stop using “You, guys” to address a mixed crowd!
2
Try using plurals to avoid using gendered pronouns.
3
Correct your “man” words into their more appropriate and more inclusive
forms: chairman into chairperson, fireman into fire fighter, policeman into
police officer, post man into postal worker, etc.
4
Stop using identities as insults.
THE LANGUAGE WE USE NOT ONLY
REFLECTS OUR CULTURE
BUT ALSO CONSTRUCTS IT.
— Judith Baxter
IF WE USE NON-GENDERED WORDS
MOST OF THE TIME WE BEGIN TO
SEE PEOPLE AND PROFESSIONS
AS NON-GENDERED TOO.
— Judith Baxter
DO NOT JUDGE, AND YOU WILL NOT BE JUDGED.
— Luke 6:37
130

Use gender-neutral language.
Gendered Noun
Culture
Man
Mankind
Freshman
Man-made
The Common Man
Chairman
Policeman
Steward, Stewardess
Actor, Actress
Congressman
Sir (In “Dear Sir”)
Waiter, Waitress
Businessman, Businesswoman
Mailman
Salesman
Person, Individual
People, Human beings, Humanity
First-year Student
Machine-made, Synthetic, Artificial
The average person
Chair, Chairperson, Coordinator, Head
Police Officer
Flight Attendant
Actor
Legislator, Congressional Representative
Dear Sir or Madam, Dear Editor, Dear Members
of Search Committee, To whom it may concern.
Server
Businessperson, People/Person in business
Mail Carrier, Letter carrier
Salesperson, Sales associate, Salesclerk
Changing terms is only the tip of the iceberg, but it has huge symbolic
importance.
As a woman, be more aware of your self-deprecating language!
Learn to accept compliments. Just say thank you! Like in the hilarious
Compliments video from Amy Schumer.
Stop apologizing.
Stop using shrinking language.
DON’T SHRINK – DON’T
PUFF UP. STAND ON
YOUR SACRED GROUND.
— Brené Brown
131

Stop criticizing others! It spreads bad energy.
Stop insulting yourself! You will feel better!
Read more about Non-Violent Communication.
Choose at least one sexist expression that you commit to stop using.
Speak up when a sexist expression is used around you.
Stop dancing to sexist songs!
Tweet to artists and production studios when songs are offensive to you.
Set up a social media campaign on Change.org to raise awareness of
sexist lyrics.
Read The Four Agreements
1
2
3
4
Be impeccable with your word.
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak
against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the
direction of truth and love.
Don’t make assumptions.
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.
Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings,
sadness, and drama.
Don’t take anything personally.
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of
their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and
actions of others, you won’t be a victim of needless suffering.
Always do your best.
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when
you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your
best, and you will avoid self-judgement, self-abuse, and regret.
Source: The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
132

Chapter 5 – Public Speaking
133

THE PROBLEM:
MEN SPEAK,
WOMEN LISTEN
134

Historically, women have been socialized
to be quiet.
Even the Bible says so:
AN ELOQUENT WOMAN
IS NEVER CHASTE.
SILENCE IS GOLDEN,
PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE.
“Let your women keep silence in the
churches: for it is not permitted unto them to
speak; but they are commanded to be under
obedience as also saith the law.
And if they will learn any thing, let them ask
their husbands at home: for it is a shame for
women to speak in the church.” – Corinthians
14:34-35
“A woman should learn in quietness and full
submission. I do not permit a woman to teach
or to assume authority over a man, she must
be quiet.” – Timothy 2:11-12
Homer labeled speech as “the business of men”
and Sophocles wrote that “silence is a
woman’s garment.”
And this is still a reality today.
KNOW YOUR LIMITS!
I CAN HEAR
THE ROAR OF
— WOMEN’S
SILENCE.
– Thomas Sankara
According to the Ban Bossy project, girls get less airtime
in class, are called on less, and interrupted more.
Suppressing women’s voices is still part of everyday life.
According to Soraya Chemaly in The Huffington Post, “male doctors invariably
interrupt patients when they speak, especially female patients, but patients rarely
interrupt doctors in return. Unless the doctor is a woman. Parents interrupt girls
twice as often and hold them to stricter politeness norms. Teachers engage
boys, who correctly see disruptive speech as a marker of dominant masculinity,
more often and more dynamically than they engage girls.”
135

The larger the group, the more likely men are to speak.
Scholars at Brigham Young and Princeton
Universities examined whether women
speak less than men when a group
collaborates to solve a problem.
In most groups that they studied, the
time that women spoke was significantly
less than their proportional representation
– amounting to less than 75% of the time that men spoke.
STUDIES SHOW:
MEN DOMINATE
75% OF
CONVERSATIONS
IN DECISION
MAKING GROUPS.
Source: American Political Science Review
Male students tend to be more talkative than female students, which affects their
visibility, their grades, and their future professional opportunities.
Having a seat at the table is not the same as
having a voice. The website
arementalkingtoomuch.com offers ways
to check who is dominating the
conversation.
WHY?
Three explanations have been popular since the 1970s, according to
Debbie Cameron.
“First, women are socialized to be unassertive: they’re reluctant to speak in
public, and when they do enter public forums they don’t have the confidence to
compete with men.
Second, women aren’t interested in competing with men: they prefer a
co-operative and supportive style of discourse to the adversarial mode that’s
typical of male-dominated public forums.
136

Third, women are silenced by men’s sexist behaviour. Men interrupt
women, talk over them, mansplain to them, ignore their
contributions when they do manage to get a word in, and give
credit to the man who makes the same point two minutes later.”
WE REALIZE THE IMPORTANCE OF
OUR VOICE WHEN WE ARE SILENCED.
– Malala Yousafzai
Is making a speech a fate worse than death?
According to the Daily Mail, public speaking is the third most common fear after
losing family members and being buried alive.
Women's lower self-esteem translates into language patterns.
Women are verbally less assertive than men, in the sense that they are more
likely to use hedges, qualifiers and questioning intonations. Women also use
more phrases like “kind of,” “probably”, or “maybe,” as well as more filliers like
“um,” “ah”, and “I mean.” They also turn sentences into questions, seeking
affirmation: “Isn’t it?”
Women worry about “negative consequences” and backlash if they are
more voluble as they can easily be perceived as too aggressive.
In other words, men are rewarded for speaking, while women are punished.
Women are also often considered to be not ready enough.
At TED Global 2013, TED former executive producer June Cohen wondered:
“Where are the women speakers?” The main reason, she believes, is that women
are more likely to say no. When turning down an offer to speak, women often
say, “I’m not ready,” citing a lack of experience or underdeveloped research.
Another explanation is that women prove to be extremely vulnerable to
interruption.
Numerous studies have demonstrated that in mixed-sex conversations, women
are interrupted far more frequently than men are. By men AND by women.
Women’s "bursts" last only a few seconds, while male students typically keep

on talking until they had finished.
Moreover, once interrupted, women sometimes stay out of the discussion for
the remainder of the conversation.
“Interruptions can be used to display or gain dominance”, says Adrienne Hancock,
linguist at George Washington University.
How to bro-propriate?
You probably have come across the cartoon
saying: “That's an excellent suggestion,
Miss Riggs. Perhaps one of the men here
would like to make it.”
Image: Kathleen Edison
Many women are also familiar with
experiences of "mansplaining."
Mansplaining is when a man explains
something to a woman in a patronizing way,
especially something that he actually knows
less about than she does. This expression
comes from the essay by Rebecca Solnit,
Men Explain Things to Me.
Women often feel voluntarily or involuntarily silenced and invaded by men’s
occupation of the vocal space.
Silencing women’s voices takes many shapes:
shushing young girls
grabbing the mic
speaking louder
yelling at women
belittling or patronizing the women who speak
laughing at women's comments
Image: Kaye Blegvad
interrupting
labeling more vocal women as aggressive or bossy
not believing women when they speak out
denying the reality of women's testimonials or experiences
insulting women or threatening them on social media.
138

Far too many conferences feature talks exclusively hosted by men.
At the 2017 World Economic Forum in Davos, only 20% of the participants were
women.
And the Brookings Institution noted that women were entirely absent from the
2017 US congressional US-Iran deal hearings, even though women were key
players in structuring the deal.
Where are the women?
Many high-profile conferences, events, and taskforces lack gender balance,
despite there being no shortage of qualified women.
15% OF THE
PANELISTS IN
AUSTRALIA ARE
WOMEN
Source: The Panel Pledge
So we end up with all-male panels…
Image: All-male panel Tumblr
Women speakers still earn less
than male speakers.
Event organizers negotiate more
harshly with female speakers,
asking them to lower their fees or
even to speak for free. Since
women speak at fewer events,
female speakers have less visibility
and attract smaller audiences,
which justifies lower speaker's fees
from event organizers. It's a
negative feedback loop.
139

What conference organizers answer when asked for female speakers:
Female Conference Speaker
B I N G O
Women just
aren’t
interested in
this field
There aren’t
enough
qualified
female
spaeakers
We need bigname
speakers,
and few of
those are
women
It’s a maledominated
field
There aren’t a
lof of women in
C-level
positions
Both women
we called were
booked that
weekend
Both women
we booked
bailed at the
last minute
All the women
were probably
busy
Female
speakers are
always burnt
out from
speaking so
much
Trying to get
more female
speakers is
sexist
The organizers
just wanted to
get the best
speakers they
could find
You can’t kick
out a male
speaker just to
fit a women in
there
FREE
You can’t
shoehorn in a
women where
she doesn’t fit
Women never
volunteer to
present
You have to be
bold; people
arenn’t just
going to invite
you to present
Women are shy
Women only
ever want to
talk about
women-stuff
Women need
to act more like
men
No one has
complained
about this
before
Attendees want
to hear from
people like
themselves
Well, there
aren’t that
many female
attendees,
either
We’re ony
responding to
demand
Fine, YOU tell
me who they
should have
invited
Who? I’ve
never heard of
her.
Image: David Sipress. The New Yorker
Image: Caperton Gillett and Feministe
It’s a self-reinforcing cycle. Few women getting hired to speak means fewer can
become stars, which means fewer will get hired to speak.
Yet, the odds that a panel might "randomly" be all men are astronomical.
Work by mathematician Greg Martin suggests that all-male lineups don’t “just
happen,” despite what conference organizers might claim.
Source: Lauren Bacon, The Atlantic
140

Conferences are a business, and the social media backlash can be drastic.
Here is an example of a tech conference in the US that became a target of
social media:
It was pointed out on Twitter that the lineup was all white men.
Twitter erupted with allegations of racism/sexism.
This put the sponsors in an awkward position regarding commitment to the
conference.
This meant the venue contract couldn't be signed because of a potential lack
of financial security.
Since the team couldn’t take on personal liability for the costs, there was a
hard decision to made.
That decision was: Cancel the event.
The gender gap in public speaking is
not random.
It is the consequence of internalized
cultural norms:
Women’s lower inclination to
speak in public and/or
self-promote.
Men’s greater visibility in
public eye.
Conference organizers’
unconscious bias.
Consequences of (in)visibility.
Since speakers are usually male,
audiences are given a narrow
perspective. Fewer women choose to
speak, and fewer are chosen.
Without the opportunity for women to
serve on panels as thought leaders,
women lack profile-building speaking
opportunities, an important
contributor to experience and
recognition.
Source: The Panel Pledge
141

SOME
SOLUTIONS
142

Humor Speak up
Boycott Toolkit
Some websites have started to make fun of this situation, like Learn-to-search.com.
Image: learn-to-search.com
Image: © Man Who Has It All
Their point is clear: "In 2012, only 7% of men organizing tech conferences had the
search skills to book male and female speakers in equal number. Poor internet
search skills result in homogeneous communities."
The Women’s Leadership Institute in Australia put
together a handy toolkit for those who want to
say no.
In Sweden and Norway, male speakers are now refusing to
participate in conferences and panel discussions without female
representation.
70-80% of all the experts in media today are men. If we continue to organize
all-male panels and juries, we keep reproducing the image of an expert as a
man.
Saying no to all-male panels is an easy way to let more people contribute to a
concrete change.
Benja Stig Fagerland, Founder and CEO of Women Speakers, sees the Say
No campaign as part of a new international wave of feminism that is driven by
social media.
Five of Australia's most booked male conference speakers will boycott panels
that don't include women, criticizing organizers for taking the lazy way out by
opting for "dude fests."
143

Speak up
SAY NO TO
#MANPANELS
Source: www.tackanej.se
When President Obama held his last news conference of 2014, he called on
eight reporters — all women.
It made headlines worldwide. Had a politician given only men a chance to ask
questions, it would not have been news; it would have been a regular day.
Some staff members developed the amplification strategy.
When President Obama took office, two-thirds of his top aides were men. Women
complained about having to elbow their way into important meetings. And when
they got in, their voices were sometimes ignored. So female staffers adopted a
meeting strategy they called “amplification”: When a woman made a key point,
other women would repeat it, giving credit to its author. This forced the men in the
room to recognize the contribution — and denied them the chance to claim the
idea as their own. The “amplification” strategy seems to have paid off: During
Obama’s second term, women finally gained parity with men in Obama’s inner
circle.
Some tech conferences have started to commit to a 50:50 speaker
representation.
For example, Collision Conference offered free tickets to anyone who referred
women speakers to them.
144

Data Mining
Infiltrate
Some campaigns raise
awareness of the need for
women’s voices, such as
#ElevatePak in Pakistan.
New speakers’ bureaux are exclusively dedicated to find more diverse
speakers.
Bulbula is a free online directory of
brilliant female commentators and
speakers from the Middle East, North
Africa, and South Asia. Bulbula brings
these diverse voices to a wider audience,
connecting them with journalists,
producers, and bookers in a dynamic
meeting of cultures.
145

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
146

If you attend a conference:
Leverage social media!
Point out gender imbalances when you see them.
Use #allmalepanels.
Use the amplification method with your female friends or colleagues.
Call out mansplaining and mansplainers.
If you speak at a conference:
Ask the organizers who else is speaking.
Tell the organizers you’ve made a pledge to avoid all-male panels and
can’t speak if there are no women going.
Then suggest some women that might be great for the event.
Reserve the right to bail out at the last minute if your requirements aren’t
met.
And speak up about the need for a diversity of voices!
If you are a conference organizer:
Issue a call for presentations (CFP).
Select proposed talks anonymously, and state in the CFP that you do so.
Encourage people from under-represented groups to respond to the CFP.
Monitor your data.
Reach out to specific speakers bureaux.
Distribute topics so that women’s voices are heard on “hard” topics, not
just “soft” topics.
147

Ask around. Ask other panelists, industry insiders, and specialist
women’s organizations. Use Google. Look at previous conferences,
government boards, and industry associations.
Infographic: Kathleen Edison inspired by Jessica Bennett’s column.
For women speakers: Dare!
Get trained to speak better.
If you want your seat at the table to
count, you need to become a better
speaker.
Start small, and build your confidence: “Find local events, pitch a talk, and
practice a lot. It really does get easier each time. It's just about practice.”
Get in touch with experienced professional speakers and ask them for advice
and guidance about:
How to book more gigs and gain more speaking experience.
How to gain the confidence to ask for money.
How to price your talks competitively in an industry where women and
minorities are consistently underpaid.
148

Register for a theater or improvisation class now!
Join a Toastmasters club.
Attend a storytelling night.
Join a poetry club.
Write or blog about a subject to demonstrate your expertise and to
prompt organizers to contact you.
Submit your ideas to conferences.
Register for a female speakers bureau.
Nominate yourself or someone you know at:
https://morewomensvoices.com/
And men: Be more aware of your privilege!
You have been socialized to talk more, to occupy the floor. Be mindful about it!
Be aware of the length of your interventions, of your interruptions, of your own
unconscious dominant behavior. In other words, learn to shut up and to listen
more.
149

AS WOMEN WE MUST
SPEAK OUT, SPEAK UP,
SAY NO TO OUR INHERITANCE
OF LOSS AND YES TO A
FUTURE OF WOMEN-LED
DIALOGUE ABOUT
WOMEN’S RIGHTS
AND VALUE.
— Zainab Salbi
150

Chapter 6 – Cities
151

THE PROBLEM:
OUR PUBLIC SPACE
IS MALE
152

All around the world, street signs of male silhouettes
invite us to cross the street.
Maya Barkai, the artist behind the public art
project Walking Men Worldwide, has been
collecting images of crosswalk light symbols
from cities across the world since 2004.
She estimates that of 180 different symbols
in her collection, roughly 10 are gendered
female.
Only a few cities have female signs: Odense
in Denmark, Zaragoza and La Coruña in Spain,
Zwickau and Dresden in Germany.
Source: Walking Men 99, New
York 2010-2013 / Photography:
Maya Barkai, Walking Men
Worldwide
STREET NAMES SORT OF DEFINE THE
IDENTITY OF A PLACE.
– Aruna Sankaranarayanan, Mapbox
Mapbox mapped 7 world cities and
found that only 28% of the streets
were named after women.
Paris
A new interactive map from Mapbox
developer Aruna Sankaranarayanan and
her colleagues shows just how scarce
female streets are in major world cities.
Mumbai
San Francisco
Images: Mapbox
153

Only 2% of French streets are named after women, most of them being
wives and daughters of famous men.
3% of Paris metro stations (9 stations) have a female name.
The situation is similar in Spain.
90% of Spanish streets are named
after men. And those honoring
women usually reference saints.
Only 7 out of 273 metro stations in
Madrid are named after women.
The gender gap also applies to monuments.
In her new book, Nonstop Metropolis: A New York City Atlas, Rebecca Solnit
sums it up: "Almost every city is full of men’s names, names that are markers of
who wielded power, who made history, who held fortunes, who was
remembered; women are anonymous people who changed fathers’ names for
husbands’ as they married, who lived in private and were comparatively
forgotten, with few exceptions."
Just have a look at the Modulor Man, the mascot of Le Corbusier's system
for re-ordering the universe.
Women's absence from city features like streets and metro stations is
shaping the role of women in history.
In a more global perspective, cities are not designed for women.
The Modulor was meant as a universal system of proportions.
The ambition was vast: it was devised to reconcile math, the human form,
architecture, and beauty into a single system.
This system could then be used to provide the measurements for all aspects
of design, from door handles to cities, and Corbusier believed that it could be
further applied to industry and mechanics.
As is often said, a six-foot rule is hardly fair to women and children.
154

And this can be illustrated in our daily lives.
Let’s take the classic example of the public bathroom.
Signs tell us who is using which space for what.
Baby changing stations are usually located inside women's
bathrooms, which precludes fathers from participating.
The inevitable lines for women’s bathrooms illustrate the lack of
human-centered design.
Disproportionately long lines not only drain women’s time, the wait can be
physically painful. The equitable provision of public toilet facilities for women and
men within a public space is called "potty parity.” On average, men take 30
seconds to use the bathroom, according to a Time magazine report about potty
parity. Women take 90 seconds.
According to Soraya Chemaly, women are socialized to quietly deal with
physical discomfort.
Women need to use bathrooms more often and for longer periods of time
because:
Women sit to urinate (urinals effectively double the space in men’s
bathrooms),
Women menstruate,
Women are responsible for reproducing the species (which makes us
pee more),
Women continue to have greater responsibility for children (who have to
use bathrooms with women), and
Women breastfeed.
Additionally, women tend to wear more binding and cumbersome clothes,
whereas men’s clothing provides significantly speedier access.
But in a classic example of the difference between surface “equality” and
genuine equity, many public restrooms continue to be facilities that are equal
in physical space, while favoring men’s bodies, experiences, and needs.
155

Legislation to address the design and provision
of public restrooms in new construction
often requires more spaces for women’s
rooms. But that has hardly made a dent in
many of our oldest and most used public
spaces.
So our cities are mostly designed by and
for men.
A city’s layout imposes a significant time burden on women.
Where resources like water or schools are located matters as well.
WHO estimates that 72% of the burden of collecting water at standpipes,
wells, rivers,
and other storage units falls on women.
Multiple daily trips to and from water sources eats up women’s time, drawing
them away from other activities like education and employment.
Women and men use public spaces, buildings, and even access basic
services differently.
In areas where resources of all kinds are more limited, these disparities
become especially acute, affecting women’s safety, movement, and income.
This is particularly true in parts of the global south, where urban planning
struggles to keep up with basic use, much
less encourage gender equality.
Image: The Guardian

Nowhere in the world has a city yet been conceived and constructed along
the lines that these women planners would like.
Nowhere in the world do women, and others who share the inclusive goals of
gender planning, have the political power or access to capital that such an
urban renewal project would require: lack of workplace creches, continuing
arguments about breastfeeding in public places, concerns that women
cyclists are more vulnerable to being killed and injured on the roads.
Top-down planning is never effective.
The women who are potentially the worst affected in unsafe conditions are the
very ones who have no voice in deciding the contours of the city or ways to
make it safer.
Urban design should better reflect the aspirations, imaginations, and
requirements of all sections of the population.
Where should the public toilet be? Where should the water source be located?
Which is the best site for the school?
Fewer than one-fifth of U.S. cities with populations over 30,000 have female
mayors.
There aren’t many women in political power or at the helm of influential organizations
that steer cities’ futures, writes Daphne Spain, author of Constructive
Feminism: Women’s Spaces and Women’s Rights in the American City.
Women are often at the forefront of grassroots efforts to address issues that
affect themselves and their families, like tenants’ rights and environmental
hazards, but they’re under-represented in leadership roles.
The number of women council members in the largest cities has decreased
from 33% to 30% since 2010.
In France, only 15% of mayors are female. And, among cities with more than
100,000 people, only 3 out of 43 cities are run by women (Paris, Rennes, and
Nantes).
Women are under-represented in the fields of planning, architecture, and real
estate development, particularly at the top.
“We basically do not have good examples of gender-sensitive planning in the
U.S.,”Mildred Warner, the Cornell planning professor who led the survey with
the APA, told HuffPost.
Stop Street Harassment founder and Executive Director Holly Kearl described
the challenge of getting her message to the Washington Metropolitan Area

Transit Authority several years ago: They were “saying that one person’s
harassment was another person’s flirting, and it wasn’t a problem on their
system.”
Because design is a feminist issue.
There is no feminist or minority-friendly city yet.
In many parts of the world, women can’t even go out on their own without
beingharassed, points out Caren Levy, a professor at University College
London.
Levy studies public transport, an area of heightened concern for policymakers
in light of horrific crimes like the gang rape and murder of Jyoti Singh Pandey
on a Delhi bus in 2012.
Despite such tragedies, and the
proof they provide that women
must be taken into account when
strategic decisions around transport
planning are made, Levy says gender
remains at the fringe of policy
debate, if it is there at all.
Men are raised to go out, to live
outside and explore the world, while
women are raised to stay at home
and to develop an inner fear of
the outside world, perceived as a threat to their integrity.
Prevalence of Street Harassment
50% of US Women
under 40 have been
groped or fondled in
the last year.
77% of US Women
under 40 have been
followed by a man or
group of men in the
last year.
Data: Hollaback
In France, 100% of women have
experienced harassment in the
transportation system. In
Paris, 8 out of 10 women believe
they would receive no help in a
case of aggression in the metro.
In 2016, ActionAid conducted a
survey about street harassment in a
number of countries.
They found that 79% of women living in cities in India, 86% in Thailand, and 89%
in Brazil have been subjected to harassment or violence in public, as had 75% of
women in London, UK.

A right to safety.
Every woman wants to feel safe while going to work, school, or running an
errand.
Sexual violence and harassment are another reason women and girls
experience cities differently than men.
The space issue: The individual with more power tends to occupy more
space.
In a waiting room, men tend to occupy more space than women.
On airplanes, men tend to occupy the armrests.
Women tend to have smaller offices and smaller cars.
Men tend to invade the personal space of women more than the other way
around.
Men tend to touch women more often than the other way around, establishing
the domination relationship.
When men feel their personal space is invaded, they react aggressively;
women withdraw and flee.
Femininity is valued by how little space
women can occupy, while manhood
requires spreading.
This space occupying strategy affects
leisure space as well.
Young men get the power to make public
space their own and to model it according
to their values.
In France, 75% of the equipment in urban
public recreational space is designed for boys.
Free recreational spaces (skateparks, city stadiums)
are predominantly occupied by young boys.
Girls rapidly don’t feel welcomed.
This is reinforced by parents who limit their daughters' use of public space.
When we say public space is neutral, it means it is male. Urban recreational
equipment is used by boys two-thirds of the time, so collective investment
goes to men.
Image: Joe Dator
159

Women are taught to be more cautious,
to take fewer risks, and that bikes are
for boys.
At the end of the day, a family’s concerns
for limiting women's safety ends up
limiting their movements.
Women are also socialized to think
that they are poor drivers.
Consider the common expressions in our
language about women drivers, the
comments made when a woman is behind
the wheel, the patronizing help from male
passengers, and beliefs that women tend
to be “distracted by things,” can’t park in
narrow spaces, or the big car must belong
to the husband. Yet all these stereotypes should, theoretically, be long gone
by now, especially because statistically women ARE better drivers than men.
Men typically drive more miles than women and more often engage in risky
driving practices, including not using safety belts, driving while impaired by
alcohol, and speeding.
Over the course of his lifetime, CBS News reports, a man could pay $15,000
more for driver's insurance than a woman.
The IIHS, a nonprofit created by car insurance companies to decrease
accidents, compiled 2015 accident data based on gender. The study found
that 71% of car accident casualties were men. The same study found that
twice as many men died in crashes between 1975 and 2015 than women. The
IIHS findings are even more grim when it comes to motorcycle-related deaths,
where men make up 91% of fatalities.
So women get to drive less and practice less, thus feeling less confident
driving.
Add to that the stereotype threat. When women spend their lives listening to
remarks about women being bad drivers, it easily affects their confidence
behind the wheel.
Source: Broadly
160

Women are expected to care more about their outfit, especially since
women’s clothes restrict movements and behaviours.
Tight clothes prevent large movements, and
women with skirts or dresses have to be
careful so that their underwear is not seen.
Women’s clothes and footwear have long limited their movements, from
foot binding to stilettos.
Foot binding, a widespread custom in China that
lasted for more than a 1,000 years, involved
incredibly tight cloth bindings being applied
to the feet of young girls to stifle growth.
Women with small feet were deemed beautiful
and could marry better if they had “lotus feet.”
as they were often referred to.
Imperial Chinese
foot binding
21st Century western
foot binding
The process typically took place between ages 4 and 9. The toes were bent
backwards, pressed downwards, and finally squeezed into the sole. Over
time, the bones in the toes would break, and the foot arch would rise to the
extent that the heel would almost touch the metatarsals.
Source: Telegraph. Jemimah Steinfeld
And today, women turn to botox to
repair feet damaged by high heels.
I REGRET BINDING
MY FEET. I CAN’T
DANCE. I CAN’T
MOVE PROPERLY.
I REGRET IT A LOT.
BUT AT THE TIME, IF
YOU DIDN’T BIND YOUR
FEET, NO ONE WOULD
MARRY YOU.
— Zhou Guizhen, survivor of foot-binding, 2007
161

Men’s clothing has been designed for utility; women’s clothing has been
designed for beauty.
British activist and academic Sheila Jeffreys, a former political science professor
at the University of Melbourne and author of Beauty and Misogyny: Harmful
Cultural Practices in the West, says: "Men have traditionally demanded that
women walk and dance in pain and gained great sexual satisfaction from this.
The fashion industry that creates the rules is dominated by men, many of whom
are shoe fetishists. They project their interest on to women's broken feet."
THE CORE OF MY
WORK IS
DEDICATED
NOT TO
PLEASING WOMEN
BUT TO PLEASING
MEN.
MY JOB IS
NOT TO
CREATE
SOMETHING
COMFORTABLE.
— Christian Louboutin
— Christian Louboutin
The concept of beauty is dictated by culture, and fashion trends remain
defined by male designers to satisfy male pleasure over female comfort.
Even Barbie dolls have feet designed for high heels.
Elizabeth Semmelhack, Senior Curator at Toronto’s Bata Shoe Museum, said
one of her biggest concerns is equating high heels with power. “I question that a
great deal because the power that high heels seems to convey is very
sexualized power. And very sexualized power is false power, because in order to
be sexy someone has to find you sexy, and so the power actually is in the
beholder.”
Beauty practices are not only just as persistent, but in many ways more
extreme.
Beauty and Misogyny examines the pervasive use of makeup, the misogyny of
fashion and high-heeled shoes, and looks at the role of pornography in the
creation of increasingly popular beauty practices such as breast implants,
genital waxing, and surgical alteration of the labia.
162

Common beauty practices are damaging the health of women.
Since the 19th century, feminists have condemned fashion trends harmful
to women’s health.
From the late 1860s to the early 1890s, The Lancet published at least one
article a year on the dangers of tight lacing, a custom held responsible for
curvature of the spine, rib deformity, displacement of internal organs, respiratory
problems, circulatory diseases, birth defects, fertility issues, broken ribs,
and puncture wounds.
The corset-opposing Rational Dress Society, founded in 1881, included heels
as part of its campaign against, "dress that either deforms the figure, impedes
the movements of the body, or in any way tends to injure the health."
Today, NHS podiatric surgeon Emma Supple decries the current vogue for
"Killer, statement, gladiatorial heels" as "warfare on your feet." Thousands of
British women are rendered immobile by high heels, she says.
Corrective surgery is occurring to the tune of $38 million a year. Four out of 10
women admit to having had accidents, with statistics suggesting that as many
as 20,000 women a year are hospitalised by their heels. “There has to be a
change,” Supple says, “because this really is a form of self-torture. We have
enormous rates of obesity, and osteoporosis. Women have to be able to get
out of their cars and pound pavements.”
From corsets to burkas, we are limiting women’s movements in the public
space.
Women’s clothes are designed everywhere in the world to limit freedom of
movement (veils, abayas, burkas, short skirts, high heels, tight clothes,
pocketless trousers, heavy handbags and so much more). This supposes a
constant mental load for women to be watchful of their appearance. Women
shall not move around easily.
“Protection” has often been used to repress people.
In previous centuries, women weren’t allowed to go out without a chaperone,
under the guise of needing protection.
In modern times, women in countries like Saudi Arabia still live under
protective rules, e.g. they can’t drive a car alone, they must travel with a male
guardian in public.
When you take away a woman’s agency, you take away her freedom.
163

This phenomenon is what Glick called “the protection racket.”
To protect women from potential dangers, we limit their freedom.
Why don’t we work on the source of danger?
Because, whatever they wear, whatever vehicle they drive, women
experience everywhere the dominating and intimidating power of stares.
Men staring at you (even silently) does not
make you feel welcomed in the public
space. Especially if men are in groups.
Women learn from a very young age to
adapt their behavior:
– Lower the gaze.
– Avoid eye contact.
– Dress to be less noticeable.
– Change sidewalks.
But the discomfort remains.
Staring is “power over” as well.
So numerous messages in our public space end up sending a clear
message to women: You don’t belong here.
AS A WOMAN,
YOU ARE NOT
ACCESSIBLE
TO EVERY WORLD.
— Zaha Hadid
164

SOME
SOLUTIONS
165

Humor
Reverse
Speak up
Naming
A song satirizing Saudi Arabia’s driving ban on women has been seen by 15
million people on YouTube.
Hisham Fageeh, the 26-year-old comedian behind
the hit, has adapted Bob Marley’s famous reggae hit,
“No Woman, No Cry,” with his friends Fahad Albutairi
and Alaa Wardi.
Saudi activist Manal al-Sharif decided to encourage women to drive by
doing so and filming herself for YouTube.
In response to the Cannes Film Festival
reportedly barring women from attending
film screenings if they were not wearing
high heels, Emma Thompson decided
to take off her Louboutin heels at the
Golden Globes.
I’VE TAKEN MY
HEELS
OFF AS A FEMINIST
STATEMENT REALLY,
BECAUSE WHY DO
WE WEAR THEM?
THEY’RE SO
PAINFUL. AND
POINTLESS, REALLY.
BUT TO PLEASING
MEN.
—Emma Thompson
Each year, an ever-increasing number
of men, women, and their families are
joining the award-winning Walk a Mile
in Her Shoes: The International Men's
March to Stop Rape, Sexual Assault &
Gender Violence.
Different cities implement
campaigns against manspreading.
Manspreading, or man-sitting, is the
practice of men sitting in public
transport with legs wide apart, thereby
covering more than one seat.
New York
New York City's Metropolitan Transit Authority and
Seattle's Sound Transit instituted poster campaigns
encouraging respectful posture on crowded buses and
trains to increase seating availability.

Naming Visualize
The Power of the Crowd
Seattle
Madrid
Seoul
In Madrid, Clara Serra of Podemos, the political
party that presented the manspreading motion,
said “We believe that putting a name to and
making visible these kinds of daily sexist
behaviour that go unnoticed is the way ahead
to become more aware, seeing what we used
not to see and leaving inequality and machismo
behind.”
The campaign was inspired by an online petition promoted by a women’s rights
group, Microrrelatos Feministas, that had garnered more than 13,000 signatures.
UN Women and the Government of Mexico City launched the campaign
#NoEsDeHombres to tackle sexual harassment in public transport.
Authorities in Mexico City took an
unusual approach to teaching men
a lesson about misogynist
behaviour by installing a
“penis seat” on an underground
train. The seat, moulded to mimic
a seated man (including his penis),
was labelled for men only and
accompanied by a sign that said: “It is annoying to travel this way, but not
compared to the sexual violence women suffer in their daily commutes.”
Image: ONU Mujeres
167

Visualize
Street Action
UN Women and the Mexican government collaborated on a second video,
called “Experimento Pantallas” or “Experiment Screens.” It emphasized the
same message by filming men’s butts on the platform and broadcasting the
footage on TV screens in the subway.
In Paris, a feminist group decided to
rename 60 streets in honor of women.
The idea was to raise awareness and to
show the world as it should be.
Now led by a female mayor, Paris is trying to
assign female names to its new streets.
THIS IS A MAN'S WORLD
BUT IT WOULD BE NOTHING,
WITHOUT A WOMAN OR A GIRL.
— James Brown
Some artists also redesigned Paris and New York subway maps
exclusively with female station names.
“It’s a map that reflects the remarkable history of charismatic women who have
shaped New York City from the beginning,” wrote author Rebecca Solnit In her
new book Nonstop Metropolis: A New York City Atlas.
168

Data Mining Tech 4 Good
The Power of the Crowd
Image: Silvia Radelli
In Spain, cities are replacing former
fascist names with local female heroes.
In Barcelona, the total number of streets
named after women increased from 7% in
1996 to 28% in 2010.
The 1,961 streets in Catalonia named after
women can be geolocalized thanks to
#nomenclator website.
Since most signs of women’s influence in history have been erased from
the physical world, some apps have started to recall it in the digital world.
169

Street Action
Disobey the Rules
The citizens of some cities have
begun to ask for a change in
public statues.
Some celebrities have started to
speak up about the discrepancies
in public space.
In China, some women occupy the men’s
toilets to raise awareness of the issue.
As Rosa Parks once defied city law by refusing to
give up her bus seat to a white passenger, why
not use men’s bathrooms if the line for women’s
bathrooms is too long?
Some activists advocate for gender-neutral
bathrooms.
In India, the Why Loiter
initiative is re-occupying
public space.

Street Action
Tech 4 Good
When society wants to keep a woman safe, it never chooses to make public
spaces safe for her.
It instead tries to limit her right to this space.
It highlights the way in which the media, as well as general discourse, tends to
focus on the dangers that face women who “dare to cross prescribed lines.”
Being in a public space without any apparent reason is not appropriate for
females.
So women gather in cafes, public benches, or beaches and post photos of
themselves on social media.
And they do the same in Pakistan…
...in France...
...or Tunisia.

New Skill
Toolkit
Take Back the Metro invites transport
system users to inform fellow passengers
about sexist violence (and not
only about pickpockets or minding the
gap).
In Cairo, Harassmap helps to geolocalize street harassment in real time to
identify the most dangerous streets and to work in collaboration with
shopkeepers and residents.
Harassmap recently trained male Uber drivers about recognizing, preventing,
and taking positive action against sexual harassment.
In the US, Hollaback app allows users to
share stories of street harassment.
In Pakistan, the project Women on Wheels
is training women to ride scooters and get
their own transportation.
And around the world women-only
transportation schemes are beginning to
flourish.

Toolkit
Even if many claim that segregation is only a bandage not a solution.
How do we transform our world’s culture to one in which women are not
constantly harassed by men?
One of the pioneers in gender-sensitive urbanism is the city of Vienna,
where gender mainstreaming has been in place since the early 1990s.
In practice, this means city administrators
create laws, rules, and regulations that
benefit men and women equally.
The goal is to provide equal access to city
resources.
In the 1990s, a simple survey in Vienna led urban planners to rethink their
whole approach to infrastructure development.
The questionnaire asked residents why and how they used public
transportation, and the results were striking because men and women had
very different responses.
– Men’s typical route was short and simple: to and from work.
– Women’s responses, however, were complex and varied, including multiple
trips a day on the metro as well as on foot: dropping off children at school,
going to the doctor, getting groceries, visiting an older family member, back to
school for pick up.
This prompted a moment of realization for Vienna’s city planners:
infrastructure has a gendered aspect to it because women and men have
different needs and uses for public structures and systems.
As a result, the planners adapted transportation projects to women’s needs,
adding street lights so women felt safer walking at night and widening
sidewalks to make it easier to move around with walkers, strollers, or wheelchairs.
173

Concrete examples from Vienna’s experience.
The researchers observed that boys were often more assertive than girls.
When both tried to lay claim to a sports field or ball court, the boys usually
won.
So planners from the Gender Unit hired landscape architects for six new parks
that included features such as: high perches for girls where they could see
across the park; fences that had gaps in them, so girls wouldn’t feel trapped;
and different ball and sports courts, so if one space was taken over by boys,
girls would have other options to play.
They widened sidewalks and built huge ramps near a major intersection to
make movement easier for people with strollers, wheelchairs, or walkers. They
added lighting to streets to make women feel safer at night, and they moved
bus stops to spots where women felt comfortable waiting.
Today, in a policy known as “gender mainstreaming” or “fair-shared cities,”
every design decision in Vienna takes into account the needs of girls and
women, as well as other overlooked groups, such as immigrants and the
disabled.
“As Vienna has transformed, the
political aspect of the change has
become increasingly clear”, says
Eva Kail, the Head Planner of the
Gender Unit. “In Europe, starting with
Greek democracy, all the revolutions
started in public places. Political history
is always connected with specific spots in
IF YOU ARE USING
PUBLIC SPACE, YOU ARE
ALSO BECOMING A
PUBLIC PERSON.
— Eva Kail, the Head Planner
of the Gender Unit.
the city. To be able to be in the city, in the way you want to be, shows in a really
clear way what your chances in society are.”
What is Gender Mainstreaming.
Gender mainstreaming has been embraced internationally as a strategy towards
realising gender equality. It involves the integration of a gender perspective into
the preparation, design, implementation, monitoring, and evaluation of policies,
regulatory measures and spending programmes, with a view to promoting
equality between women and men, and combating discrimination. It is a
transversal approach not restricted to urbanism.
Source: http://eige.europa.eu/
174

Toolkit
Vienna even released a toolkit to allow other cities to replicate
their experience.
Gender budgeting means preparing or analyzing budgets from a gender
perspective.
The City of Vienna spends a lot of money for its citizens every day. Which
proportion of that money benefits women and men?
– Applying gender mainstreaming and promotion of women in procurement
ensures that the money also contributes to the equality of women and men in
private business.
– Governments should introduce gender budgeting. Gender budgeting sets
out to quantify how policies affect women and men differently. For example,
Austria lowered income tax on second earners, which has encouraged women
to join the labor force, boosting growth and tax revenues. Cutting programs
that reduce domestic violence would create greater costs in the form of
medical treatment and lost workdays.
The goal is to distribute the budget equally among women and men.
Oxfam also released a toolkit on how to
include more women in urban planning.

Toolkit
Mixed communities, mixed neighborhoods, and mixed land use make for a
greater sense of safety.
Women in public spaces reported feeling safer when there were “eyes on the
road”: vendors, shopkeepers, rickshaw drivers, and others who use the
streets and make a living on them.
Women feel safer when they can freely use local transport and move around
without any threat or fear of sexual harassment.
The “sanitization” or “beautification” of cities, where working class communities
are re-located to distant sites and street vendors are taken off the road,
makes these communities more prone to crime and generates a feeling of
insecurity.
Incorporating women’s needs starts with better data.
The good news is that cities around the world have made progress
incorporating the needs of both genders in infrastructure planning, but this
has not yet been institutionalized everywhere.
One of the encouraging areas of change is public transit.
Several U.S. cities have acknowledged the issue of sexual harassment and
are working to combat it with publicity campaigns and tools that allow victims
to easily report it. However, there’s more that can be done.
For example, a Toronto-based organization created a “safety audit” program,
which allows women to identify where they feel unsafe. This program has
been replicated in several cities around the world.
In Nantes and Montreal, bus drivers stop on-demand at night to reduce
walking distance for passengers.
176

Infiltrate
NYC Service offers safe
transportation for women.
Some cities have proposed
women-friendly public bathrooms.
Women are also infiltrating the fields of architecture and urban planning to
bring their views to city design.
World-renowned British architect Zaha Hadid was named “Queen of the curve”
by The Guardian as it appears in her designs of the Heydar Aliyev cultural centre
in Baku, Azerbaijan or the future stadium to be built in al-Wakrah for the 2022
World Cup in Qatar.
I DON’T THINK THERE
ARE MANY WOMEN
WHO THINK,
‘OH, MY IDEAL
PROJECT WOULD
BE A MASSIVE
TOWER.’
— Fiona Scott
177

How to build fairer cities?
The project Womenability has been
searching the world for solutions to
urban challenges.
Like exploratory walks allowing
citizens to explore a neighborhood and
assess its needs.
Exploratory walks were created at the beginning of the 1990s in Montreal by
METRAC2 to help prevent violence targeted at women and children. Since
then the approach has been broadened into a general tool enabling decision
makers to gain “users knowledge” on the city, and residents to transmit their
experience directly to decision makers. It is a situational and participative
approach that is particularly useful to analyse safety and security issues at stake
in some neighborhoods.
Cyvette Gibson, Paynesville, Liberia’s first female mayor says: “I always say
women build differently than men. Men build for today but women build for
tomorrow because we’re interested in making sure we have some form of
security for our children. That’s why we elected a woman as president in Liberia
– we knew we needed a woman to rebuild our nation.”
We also need more female mayors around the world.
Today, 9 female mayors out of 57 high-profile cities provides some hope for
change.
Women build cities with the future in mind.
And women offer a different perspective.
Sarah Childs, Professor of Politics and Gender at Bristol University explains:
“While not every woman mayor is a feminist with the goal of improving the lives
of women in her city, women bring with them experiences that differ in important
ways from those of their male peers.” “If you’ve never tried to put a buggy on a
bus, you don’t really understand what many women’s experience of public
transport is,” Childs says, adding that there’s a burgeoning argument for
infrastructure to include childcare, not just roads and rail.
178

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
179

Write to your city representative about gender issues in your city.
Request your city start implementing gender-budgeting.
Mention the city of Vienna as an example and share their replicable
toolkit.
Launch an exploratory walk in your neighborhood.
Map the current gender balance of street names in your city.
Propose some names for new streets.
Ask for different toilet signage and safe public bathrooms.
Run tours of the powerful women in your city’s history.
Loiter with friends in public spaces or male-dominated areas (if you’re a
woman).
Write to your school, airport, or train station representative to ask for
more women’s toilets or gender-neutral bathrooms.
Launch a campaign on Change.org to raise awareness of manspreading.
Ditch your high heels.
Wear comfortable clothes that do not limit your movements.
Learn to ride a bike, a motorbike, a scooter, a horse, whatever suits you!
Get as much experience as you can as a driver.
Intervene if you witness harassment while using public transport.
Run for the city council or local representation!
IF YOU CAN CHANGE THE STREET,
YOU CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.
— Janette Sadik-Khan, former New York City Transportation Commissioner
180

Chapter 7 – Sports
181

THE PROBLEM:
SPORTS ARE NOT
FOR GIRLS
182

Physical activity has long been deemed “unsuitable” for women.
Image: Matt Bors
The roots of this myth lie in the birth of modern sports, 150 years ago.
Victorian society viewed sports as, “inseparable from the philosophy of
muscular christianity, which defined itself against femininity and softness,”
says Tony Collins, the author of Sport in Capitalist Society. Victorian Society
did not think much of the notion of women playing sports.
Nor did Pierre de Coubertin, who founded the modern Olympic Games in
1896. He described women’s sports as, “the most unaesthetic sight human
eyes could contemplate,” and advocated that The Games be reserved for
men, though a few females were allowed to compete from 1900.
In 1921, the Football Association in England deemed the sport “quite
unsuitable for females” and banned its clubs from loaning pitches to women.
Even today, many conservative societies deem women's engagement in
physical activities to be less acceptable.
And female attire makes it sometimes even more complicated.
Sports are traditionally associated with "masculine" characteristics.
Physical strength and resilience, speed, and a highly
competitive, sometimes confrontational spirit.
In many societies, women who engage in sports are
perceived as “masculine,” while men who are not
interested in sports are considered “unmanly.”
183

Sports are predominantly divided into “male” and “female” domains.
In many sports, mixed gender participation is not accepted. For example, St.
Andrew's Links in Scotland only began admitting female members in 2014,
and, as of 2017, the clubhouse still does not have a women's changing room.
In many cases, sports organizations and the media have sent messages that
confirm these divisions rather than challenge them.
Moreover, the portrayal of female and male athletes by the media reinforces
stereotypical perceptions of gender roles.
Women athletes are still depicted in a way that contributes to the
marginalization of women’s achievements in sports, due to the emphasis
placed on femininity and sexual attraction instead of strength and skills.
The presence of this type of coverage devalues women’s accomplishments.
Despite the considerable increase in girls’ and women’s participation in sports
and a growing audience interested in women’s elite sports, there are still
significant differences in media coverage.
Female athletes receive less media
coverage.
Female Olympic athletes still garner far fewer
column inches and receive less TV airtime than
their male counterparts.
Yet, people are interested in women’s sports.
The U.S. Women’s National Team set a television ratings record during its victory
in the final of the 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup against Japan, making the
game the most-watched soccer match in U.S. history with 23 million viewers!
Men’s sports are often considered the default.
Overt gender marking is more common for
women's sports, for both the sport itself
(ladies’ singles) and the athletes (woman
golfer). For example, men playing football is
called football, while women playing football
is called women's football.
Image: © The Man Who Has it All

Aesthetics over athletics when it comes to women in sports.
Language around women in sports focuses disproportionately on the
appearance, clothes, and personal lives of women, highlighting a greater
emphasis on aesthetics over athletics.
Words commonly used for women in sports include: aged, older, pregnant,
and married or unmarried.
The top words for men in sports, by contrast, are adjectives like: fastest,
strong, big, real, and great.
Female athletes’ physical appearance and personal lives are frequently
mentioned.
When it comes to performance, it seems as though men also have the
competitive edge.
We see men associated with verbs such as mastermind, beat, win, dominate,
and battle; whereas, women are associated with verbs such as compete,
participate, and strive.
Research by Cambridge University Press found higher levels of infantilization
and traditionalist language for women in sports. Women are more likely to be
referred to as “girls” or “ladies” than men are to be referred to as “boys” or
“gentleman.”
At Rio, descriptions of some female athletes have been called offensive.
After Hungarian swimmer Katinka Hosszu won gold in the 400m individual
medley with a new world record, a journalist referred to her partner, who is
also her trainer, saying: "This is the man responsible.”
One gymnast was criticised when her leotard "failed to complement her skin
tone.”
A BBC commentator was criticised too when he referred to the judo final
between Kosovan Majlinda Kelmendi and Italian Odette Giuffrida as a "cat
fight."
Meanwhile American swimmer Katie Ledecky was praised as being the
"female Michael Phelps."
When women are world champions, why do we still need to compare them to
men?
FEMALE ATHLETES ARE STEREOTYPED BY
THE GENERAL POPULATION – AND USUALLY
AS HOMOSEXUALS.
— Billie Jean King 185

Athletes face many biases from sports journalists.
Olympics Media Sexism Bingo
A female athlete's
accomplishments
are credited to a
man (husband,
coach, etc.).
The press uses a
photo of a female
athlete which
primarily focuses
on her butt.
Female athlete's
motherhood is
mentioned in main
description and/or
with implication of
"having it all."
A woman over the
age of 21 is called
a "girl."
A Black female
athlete's hair is
criticized.
The women's event you
want to watch is not
being televised, but the
men's version is.
Female athlete’s non
-gendered actions
(ie, talking to each other,
standing next to each
another) are
condescendingly
feminized (ie, "gabbing",
"ladies at the mall")
A female reporter (of
the 21% of the
Olympic media who
are actually women)
is criticized for her
appearance or
clothing.
A woman is called
"the female (insert
male athlete’s
name here)"
The press debates
whether a
transgender athlete
has an "advantage/
disadvantage."
The men's event is
just called “Sport
Name” as a
default, but the
women's is called
“Women's Sport.”
A Muslim woman's
hijab is up for
debate/commentary.
A female athlete's
"feminine" qualities
(grace, beauty, etc.)
are presented as
remarkable in
comparison to her
athleticism.
Reference is made to
a female athlete's
husband or
boyfriend as part of
her main description.
A country's
women's team
places higher than
the men's, but
there is more
coverage of the
men's win.
Female athlete’s are
commended for
performing "like a
man" or "just as
good as the men."
Source: Megan Ford
This is also due to the lack of women in sports journalism.
Internationally, women represent only 10% of positions in print media and
media production.
At the 2012 London Olympics, only 15% of the journalists and photographers
were women.
Gender inequalities extend into media organizations, where women hold only
27% of senior management positions.
In the US, 88% of sports reporters are men and 90% of them are white.
186

Image: © The Man Who Has it All
WHAT ARE THE FIGURES ABOUT
FEMALE PARTICIPATION IN SPORTS?
Traditionally, sports have been dominated by men, in terms of both
participation and governance.
Worldwide, women’s participation rates in sporting activities are lower than
men’s.
Yet, significant changes have occurred over the last 20 years, and the
difference in involvement between the genders is becoming narrower.
Men are more likely than women to
exercise or play sports.
In the EU, 37% of men never exercise
or play sports, compared with 47% of
women.
187

Female participation at the Olympics remains low but has increased
rapidly since the Games’ inception.
60%
50%
Equal male and female participation
40%
30%
20%
10%
0%
1896
1900
1904
1908
1912
1916
1920
1924
1928
1932
1936
1940
1948
1952
1956
1960
1964
1968
1972
1976
1980
1984
1988
1992
1996
2000
2004
2008
The 2012 Olympic Games in London were a historic turning point. For the
first time in Olympic history, all participating teams had female athletes.
100% Male
Athens, Greece
1900 Paris, France
1st Female Participation
1920 Antwerp, Belgium
95% Male, 5% Female
2008 Beijing, China
55% Male, 45% Female
And women and girls are participating in more and more physical
activities.
In the US, girls’ participation in high school sports grew from 1 in 27 in 1971 to
1 in 2, 4 in 2008.
In 1971, 1% of Boston marathon runners were women. Today, it’s 42%.
188

Image: http://young.scot/

Cities also offer less equipment for girls' activities.
Recreational equipment in cities is used by boys two-thirds of the time, so
collective investment goes to men in priority.
Edith Maruejouls studied the distribution of space in playground schools: boys
occupy more space, especially ballgames in the center; girls play at the
periphery, in smaller spaces where they play static games with less
competition.
While participation by girls in sports has increased at all levels (Olympic,
professional, college, high school and youth), and society is more accepting
than ever of female athleticism, the fact that girls continue to drop out of
sports at six times the rate of boys is an indication that we still have a long
way to go as a society in reaching the goal of gender equality in sports.
Girls sometimes don't receive the support they need from their family.
Middle school and high school sports are about winning, not participation.
Teenage girls still think sports are unfeminine.
Poor coaching has an impact.
Teenage girls experience a crisis of confidence.
Girls are less tolerant of poor sports behavior than boys.
With adolescence comes a greater desire for cooperation and
connectedness overcompetition.
Source: Brooke De Lench, Home Team Advantage: The Critical Role of Mothers in Youth Sports
We still lack equal representation and gender sensitivity in
decision-making.
In 2015, only 14% of all top decision-making positions in sports federations in
the EU were occupied by women, ranging from 3% in Poland to 43% in
Sweden.
Within the International Olympic Committee (IOC), progress has been
made, yet it remains slow.
There were no women on the committee between 1896 and 1981, and women
still occupied less than 25% of IOC members as of 2014.
Moreover, fewer than 20% of the members of the governing bodies of
affiliated bodies, such as the National Olympic Committees (NOCs) and the
Association of National Olympic Committees (ANOC), are women.
190

As a profession, sports coaching is also dominated by men.
Based on figures in 7 EU Member States, it is estimated that only 20% to 30%
of all sports coaches in Europe are women.
At the most recent women’s football FIFA World Cup and UEFA European
Cup, there were 3 male team coaches for every woman.
Women coaches are more often found in sports that have a high proportion of
women participants (e.g. dance, gymnastics, figure skating and equestrian
sports), and they predominantly work with women, adolescents, or children
who compete at local and regional levels.
However, the number of women coaches in almost all sports seems to be
disproportionally low in relation to women’s overall participation in sports.
Men commonly coach women and girls, but few women coach men, even in
women-dominated sports.
THERE’S NOT ENOUGH WOMEN WHO REALIZE COACHING IS AN
OPPORTUNITY. FOR A LOT OF WOMEN IN SOCCER, IT’S LIKELY
BECAUSE THEY’VE NEVER HAD A FEMALE COACH SOMEWHERE
ALONG THE WAY. A LOT OF THESE GIRLS HAD MALE COACHES
GROWING UP AND NEVER REALIZED
THEY COULD BE A COACH.
— Kelly Bryan, Women’s soccer coach, Kenyon College.
And female athletes face a huge funding disparity.
Women have fewer opportunities to play sports, receive lower-quality coaching
and facilities compared with those enjoyed by men, and are paid meager sums,
even for playing international sports.
American soccer is a good example.
U.S Men’s Team Pay
for losing in the first
round of the world cup
U.S Women’s Team Pay
for winning the
world cup
$ $
$8 Million $2 Million
191

YET, PLAYING SPORTS HAS MANY BENEFITS
It makes you feel happier!
Physical exercise is not only important for your body's health, it also helps your
brain stay sharp.
Helps alleviate depression
Improves your memory
Helps you de-stress
Makes you more focused
Helps you stick to your goals
And of course, it reduces the odds of developing heart disease, stroke, and
diabetes!
Having agency over your own body feels extremely liberating!
Whether it's running, dancing, or jumping.
It builds inner confidence.
Image: Women Fast Forward. Ernst & Young.
192

Sports can contribute to gender equality through the establishment of
values like fair play, non-discrimination, and teamwork.
It can also be used to increase opportunities for girls, if local contexts and
gender relations are taken into account and addressed.
Sports can give women and girls access to public spaces where they can
gather, develop new skills, gain support from others, and enjoy freedom of
expression and movement.
It can promote education, communication, negotiation skills, and leadership,
all of which are essential to women’s empowerment.
Sports can also increase women’s and girls’ self-esteem and enable them to
make choices about their lives. Moreover, sports can provide a channel to
inform girls and women about reproductive health and other health issues.
Image: Skateistan
193

SOME
SOLUTIONS
194

Speak up
Counter Storytelling
Some athletes are becoming vocal about the biases and discrimination
they face.
I AM NOT THE NEXT USAIN BOLT OR
MICHAEL PHELPS. I’M THE FIRST SIMONE BILES.
— Simone Biles, American artistic gymnast and gold medalist.
IT’S SCARY TO STEP UP TO
YOUR EMPLOYER BUT AT
SOME POINT YOU HAVE TO
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.
— Hope Solo, American soccer goalkeeper,
two-time Olympic gold medalist, and World
Cup champion.
This Girl Can is a UK national campaign.
It’s a celebration of active women up and down the country who are doing their
thing no matter how well they do it, how they look, or even how red their face
gets.
195

Visualize
New Skill
"When I Play," espnW's women-created and
produced short film, gives voice to every
woman and girl who sees their physical
movement as part of a wider social movement.
Some organizations teach women how to ride motorbikes! Because
female motorbike riders report being freer and happier.
Whether it’s for freedom, adventure, spiritual experience, confidence,
independence, or community, women are taking to motorcycles with a growing
voracity.
Source: Liz Jansen. FIX
196

New Skill
Women Win is the global leader in girls’
empowerment through sports. They
leverage the power of play to help girls
build leadership skills and become better
equipped to exercise their rights.
Boxgirls develops programs to support
women and girls in developing life skills,
learning self-defense and de-escalation
strategies, and becoming leaders in their
schools and communities.
SheFighter is the first self-defense studio
for women in Jordan and the Middle East,
designed to empower women both
physically and physiologically through
self-defense training. SheFighter’s
self-defense techniques give women the
opportunity to learn to defend themselves
in difficult situations as well as build up
their self-esteem.
Skateistan is a global community of
supporters, staff, students, and skaters
who share the dream of empowering
youth through skateboarding and
education.
197

New Skill
New Heroes
Waves of Freedom teaches
women to surf in southern Iran.
Nike is changing its communication
strategy, celebrating female athletes.
Sarah Marquis is a Swiss adventurer and
explorer who walked 20,000 kilometers
alone from Siberia to the Gobi Desert, into
China, Laos, Thailand, and then across
Australia.
Hajra Khan is the captain of Pakistan's
all-female national football team and she
plans to launch a grassroots football
training academy for female players in the
future.
198

Toolkit
Counter Storytelling
Some initiatives promote female solo travel.
Something happens to us when we step
outside. She Explores is a website for
creative outdoor women, from being outdoors
to being on the road.
Whether it’s the act of lacing up our boots, the
fresh air in our lungs, or the panorama of
landscape – it inspires us to create and tell
stories. She Explores is a growing resource for
the creative outdoors woman, with more than
200 women’s stories, photographs and
artwork.
MANY MOVIES AND DOCUMENTARIES ARE
STARTING TO PORTRAY WOMEN AND GIRLS
BREAKING STEREOTYPES AROUND THE WORLD
199

Counter Storytelling
Afghan Cycles is a feature-length
documentary that tells the story of
brave Afghan women who challenge
gender barriers and put their lives at
risk for the simple pleasure of riding a
bicycle.
The documentary Speed Sisters
portrays female car racers in
Palestine.
200

Counter Storytelling
The short movie Muslim Girls Fence shows
how Muslim women all across the world act
as pioneers and are also supported by their
families and friends.
Sports help to challenge
stereotypes...
...and to create new stories.
201

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
202

Every morning, dance for five minutes! On YouTube, Fitness Marshall is
there for you if you need help!
Register your daughter in sports activities.
Show your daughter new badass role models to inspire her.
Watch inspiring movies or documentaries.
Support your children to explore activities that may not respect traditional
gender stereotypes.
If you’re an athlete: speak up, intervene in schools and companies,
inspire others to move their body!
Learn a new skill: motorcycling, salsa dancing, or self-defense!
Get out of your comfort zone: check the boxes off your bucket list!
Whether it's bungee jumping, mountain climbing, or deep diving, set
yourself a goal and go for it!
Organize a hiking or biking trip with your best female friends!
Go on a solo trek in the countryside and enjoy the solitude!
Jump, run, dance!
203

RUN LIKE A GIRL!
204

Chapter 8 – Politics
205

THE PROBLEM:
MACHO POLITICO
206

We are the children of Greek democracy, where children, slaves, foreigners, and
women were not considered full citizens.
Image: Fun Facts About Voting. Joanne Tong.
Women could not vote until the 19th century.
Thanks to the movement of the Suffragettes, for example.
I WOULD RATHER
BE A REBEL
THAN A SLAVE.
— Emmeline Pankhurst
Women expressing their opinions triggered many fears.
Images: Mitchell & Watkins
207

Women have progressively gained voting rights since 1893, from New
Zealand to Saudi Arabia.
1893
Australia
1906
New Zealand
1902
Finland
1944
Panama
France
1941
Norway
1913
1935
Myanmar
1915
Denmark
Cuba
1934
Iceland
1915
1932
Maldives
1917
Canada
Uruguay
1932
Lithuania
1918
Estonia
1918
Krgyzstan
1919
Azerbaijan
1918
Hungary
1918
1932
Chile
1931
Sri Lanka
Thailand
1931
Portugal
1931
1918
Latvia
1932
Spain
Poland
1918
Brazil
1932
1918
Russian Fed.
1930
South Africa
Albania
1920
Turkey
1930
1920
USA
1929
Ecuador
Czech Rep.
1920
Romania
1929
1920
Slovakia
1927
Turkmenistan
Armenia
1921
Kazakhstan
1924
1924
Tajikistan
1924
Mongolia
208

Indonesia
1945
Togo
1945
Barbados
1950
India
1951
Antigua &
Barbuda
1951
Grenada
1951
Saint Vincent
1951
Lebanon
1960
Gambia
1960
Paraguay
1984
1945
Iraq
Senegal
1976
1945
Vanuatu
Japan
1975
1950
Mozambique
Haiti
1975
1950
Angola
Saint Lucia
1974
1951
Bahrain
Dominica
1972
1951 Switzerland
St. Kitts & Nevis 1970
1951
Algeria
Nepal
1962
1952
Bahamas
Cyprus
1961
1960
Rwanda
Tonga
1961
1961
Malawi
Liechtenstein
1980
Timor-Leste
1975
Sao Tomé
1975
Cape Verde
1975
Solomon Islands
1973
Bangladesh
1971
Andorra
1962
Monaco
1961
Seirra Leone
1961
Burundi
1961
209

Central African
Republic
1989
Oman
2003
Kuwait
1986
Namibia
1994
Qatar
2005
Israel, 1969: Golda Meir
becomes the first
female prime minister.
Argentina, 1974: Martinez de
Peron becomes Argentina’s
first female president.
2006
Saudi Arabia
United Arab
Emirates
2015
And the last
country in 2015!
Pakistan, 1988: Benazir
Butto becomes prime
minister at the age of 35
and is the first female
prime minister of a
Muslim-majority nation.
And women also started running for
office.
There have been over 70 female prime
ministers and presidents in the world
since 1960.
Brazil, 2011-2016:
Dilma Rousseff,
President of Brazil.
Sri Lanka, 1960: Sirimavo
Bandaranaike becomes
the prime minister and
the first woman in the
world to be elected
head of government.
Liberia, 2006: Ellen Johnson
Sirleaf becomes president,
the world’s first elected black
female president, and
Africa’s first elected female
head of state.
India, 1966: Indira Gandhi
becomes the first, and
to-date only, female prime
minister of India.
Chile, 2014: Michelle
Bachelet becomes
President.
210

Argentina, 2007-2015:
Cristina Fernandez,
President of Argentina.
South Korea, 2013-2017:
Geun-hye Park,
President of South Korea.
Malawi, 2012-2014:
Joyce Banda,
President of Malawi.
Kosovo, 2011-2016:
Atifete Jahjaga, President of
Kosovo and the first female
Head of State in the Balkans.
Mauritius, 2015:
Ameenah Gurib-Fakim,
President of Mauritius.
Costa Rica, 2010-2014:
Laura Chinchilla,
President of Costa Rica.
More and more women
are leading countries
around the world.
And for the first time in 29 years, Time's
Person of the Year in 2015 was a woman!
Yet, there is still a long
way to go.
In March 2017,
there were only 15 female
world leaders in office.
POLITICS
Women occupy
only 22%
of parliamentary seats
worldwide
IMPACT
Decisions on policies affecting societies are often
made without women’s substantive contributions
or a gender perspective, and therefore may
neglect thier needs.

WOMEN PARLAMENTARIANS IN UPPER
AND LOWER HOUSES BY REGION.
Scandinavia:
42.0%
Americas:
22.8%
Europe:
20.9%
Subsaharan
Africa:
19.7%
Arab states:
10.6%
Asia:
18.2%
Pacific states:
14.9%
Source: CNN Women in politics
Rwanda is the country with the highest number of women
parliamentarians worldwide.
212

The European Parliament is slowly
progressing.
The US actually ranks behind
Afghanistan, Ethiopia, and
Nepal in terms of women in
national legislature.
Gender Composition in House and Senate
Republican Party
10% Women
Democratic Party
25% Women
So we still lack women at the top of
our countries and cities!
WHY?
What hinders young women’s political
ambition?
Young men are more likely than
young women to be socialized
by their parents to think about
politics as a career path.

From their school experiences to their
peer associations to their media habits,
young women tend to be exposed to less
political information and discussion than
young men.
Young women are less likely than
young men to think they will be
qualified to run for office, even after
they are established in their careers.
Young men are more likely than
young women to have played
organized sports and to care
about winning.
Fewer girls watch political shows.
214

To promote change, women prefer
to work for charity than run for
office.
We don’t socialize women to think they can lead.
There is a lack of female role models which impacts women to believe that they
are less legitimate and competent to run for public office.
Women also fear the widespread sexism experienced by female politicians.
Because as with any male-dominated field, the political field is openly hostile to
women.
JUST BECAUSE INDIA ACHIEVED FREEDOM AT
MIDNIGHT DOES NOT MEAN THAT WOMEN CAN
VENTURE OUT AFTER DARK. THEY SHOULD ENSURE
THAT THEY DO NOT BOARD BUSES WITH FEW
PASSENGERS. THE WOMAN SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT
TWICE BEFORE BOARDING THE SUSPICIOUS PRIVATE
BUS THAT NIGHT. THOUGH THE INCIDENT WAS
CONDEMNABLE, SHE SHOULD ALSO HAVE BEHAVED
KEEPING IN MIND THE SITUATION.
— Indian Politician Botsa Satyanarayana on the Delhi Rape Case, 2012
215

I WOULDN’T WANT TO STAY WITH DAUGHTERS WHO
ARE NOT GETTING MARRIED. BECAUSE THAT IN
ITSELF IS A PROBLEM IN SOCIETY. I KNOW THAT
PEOPLE TODAY THINK BEING SINGLE IS NICE.
IT’S ACTUALLY NOT RIGHT. THAT’S A DISTORTION.
YOU’VE GOT TO HAVE KIDS. KIDS ARE IMPORTANT
TO A WOMAN BECAUSE THEY ACTUALLY GIVE
AN EXTRA TRAINING TO A WOMAN, TO BE A
MOTHER.
— South African President Jacob Zuma, 2012
IF IT’S A
LEGITIMATE RAPE,
THE FEMALE BODY
HAS WAYS TO
TRY TO SHUT
THAT WHOLE
THING DOWN.
— Former Republican Congressman
Todd Akin, 2012
ANYONE WHO
HAS CHOSEN TO
REMAIN DELIBERATELY
BARREN... THEY’VE
GOT NO IDEA ABOUT
WHAT LIFE’S ABOUT.
— Australian Senator Bill Heffernan
on Julia Gillard, 2007
IT’S BETTER NOT TO ARGUE WITH
WOMEN... WHEN PEOPLE PUSH
BOUNDARIES TOO FAR, IT’S NOT BECAUSE
THEY ARE STRONG BUT BECAUSE THEY
ARE WEAK. BUT MAYBE WEAKNESS IS
NOT THE WORST QUALITY FOR THE WOMAN.
– Vladmir Putin on Hillary Clinton, 2014
PEOPLE WILL
VOTE FOR
DANIELA SANTANCHE
BECAUSE SHE IS A
BEAUTIFUL BABE.
— Former Italian Prime Minister
Silvio Berlusconi, 2008
216

French politicians are another good example.
ELLE EST COMME
ÇÀ TOUT LE
TEMPS LA P’TITE?
— Arnaud Montebourg
TOUTES LES FEMMES
QUI VEULENT AVOIR
L’INVESTITURE DOIVENT
ÊTRE BAISABLES.
— Charles Pasqua
MAIS QUI VA
GARDER LES ENFANTS?
— Laurent Fabius
UN MINISTÈRE DE LA
CONDITION FÉMININE? ET
POURQUOI PAS UN SOUS
-SECRÉTARIAT D’ETAT
AU TRICOT?
— Général de Gaulle
PEUT-ÊTRE AVAIT-ELLE
MIS CETTE ROBE POUR NE
PAS QU’ON ÉCOUTE CE
QU’ELLE AVAIT À DIRE.
— Patrick Balkany
Including some infamous scandals, like the arrest of the former director of
the International Monetary Fund.
Some documentaries
expose this situation.
217

And this is an international phenomenon. All over the world, many still
consider politics to be a man’s business.
The video of genuinely furious Australian PM
Gilliard, who denounced various catcalls she had
experienced, went viral. Her famous speech
electrified the debate about misogyny in the
workplace.
THE EFFECT ON POLICIES
Women only run 10% of the world's countries, so it is mainly men making
policies.
Our future is still decided by men.
According to Riane Eisler, “Government
leaders who are seen as unmasculine are
demonized. Leaders who stand primarily for
control and punishment are respected, and
even loved, in yet another replay of the
emotional habits learned in dominator
families. Such politicians always find money
for weapons but not for healthcare. We must
regain the political initiative; we must create
cultural beliefs, myths, and stories that
support the partnership model.”
Laws are still written and decided by
people who don't know women's
reality.

Countries with a larger number of women as ministers or in parliament
tend to have lower levels of inequality, higher spending on health, and
more confidence in government.
Want creative solutions to tough national problems?
Engage more women in public sector leadership.
#WomenFastForward
More women decision-makers and influencers in our public sectors means a
more balanced perspective in designing and implementing new rules and laws,
and a more inclusive approach to policymaking and service delivery.
More women in power could lead to more women running for office.
Simply having more local female politicians can boost aspirations and
educational achievement among young women, according to a landmark study
published in Science co-authored by MIT economist Esther Duflo.
Better political representation.
Evidence shows that politicians who
reflect the people they serve better
represent their needs.
More efficient policy-making.
Research also suggests that female legislators
are incredibly effective: In the US, on average
they bring 9% more federal spending to their
home district, and sponsor three more bills per
Congress, compared to their male colleagues.
Research on panchayats (local councils) in
India discovered that the number of drinking
water projects in areas with female-led
councils was 62% higher than in those with
male-led councils.
In Norway, a direct causal relationship between
the presence of women in municipal councils
and child-care coverage was found.
WE THINK THIS IS DUE
TO A ROLE-MODEL
EFFECT: SEEING WOMEN
IN CHARGE PERSUADED
PARENTS AND TEENS
THAT WOMEN CAN RUN
THINGS, AND INCREASED.
— Esther Duflo
219

Improved policy outcomes.
On average, women sponsor and co-sponsor more bills than do men and are
able to enlist more co-sponsors.
Across parties, women are, on average, 31% more effective at advancing
legislation and seeing continued success farther into the legislative process.
Women across the political spectrum are more likely than their male
counterparts of either party to prioritize issues affecting women, families, and
children on their legislative agendas.
Regardless of party affiliation, women have voted more consistently in favor of
environmental protections and policies than men have over the past 25 years
in both the U.S. House and Senate.
CONGRESS-WOMEN DELIVER 9%
OR ROUGHLY $49 MILLION – MORE
PER YEAR IN FEDERAL PROGRAMS
TO THEIR HOME DISTRICTS THAN
DO CONGRESS-MEN.
A new style of leadership.
Women are more partial to non-hierarchical collaboration, consensus building,
and inclusion than men, and they bring that style to politics.
Female legislators gather policy information from different sources than men
and rely on different types of information in making key decisions.
Unlike their male colleagues, women in legislative and executive posts are
motivated most often by policy goals, not power or prestige, in running for
office and serving.
Female lawmakers open the legislative agenda to new perspectives and
issues.
220

SOME
SOLUTIONS
221

Visualize
Humor
Specific Communities
ELLE UK launched the #MoreWomen campaign to not let women be
airbrushed out of history.
Image: ELLE UK #MoreWomen
In France, Femmes et pouvoir gathers
female politicians for different trainings,
talks, and networking.
These gatherings enable women to share their
concerns, gain insights, and feel more
supported.
222

Specific Communities
New Skill
In the US, the collective Leadarise
teaches girls how to be a future leader.
CANADA NEEDS MORE
WOMEN FROM DIVERSE
BACKGROUNDS MAKING
DECISION IN OTTAWA
BECAUSE WHEN WOMEN
SUCCEED, WE ALL
—
SUCCEED.
— Justin Trudeau
In the UK, The Parliament Project
runs workshops to encourage women
to get into politics.
In Tunisia, Aswat Nisaa is
training young women to speak
in public and take a political
lead. It also helps political
parties to take greater account
of women’s rights in their
programs.
In Lebanon, Women in Front is
also encouraging Lebanese
women to take part and
become catalysts of change in
Lebanese politics.
The Center for Feminist Foreign Policy
promotes a feminist critique of foreign
policy through journal, events
programming, and campaigning
activities.
223

Humor
New Skill
She Should Run provides a network for women leaders considering a
future run for office.
She Should Run encourages American citizens to nominate women they know to
run for office.
She Should Run also created an incubator, an
online resource to help more women envision
themselves in public leadership. The online
platform offers inspiration, a supportive
community, access to role models and mentors,
and thoughtful guidance and advice to ensure women leaders know their
leadership is needed in elected office.
Within their incubator, She Should Run offers a course for parents, with activities
parents can do with their daughters to encourage them to lead.
More women in elected office means a better government and a better world,
and it means more girls seeing more possibilities.
They also released a humorous
book.
VoteRunLead is a training powerhouse.
VoteRunLead supports the aspirations of women who
want to transform the U.S. and democracy through their
participation as leaders.
They offer workshops, training, house parties, and
events across the country.
You can find practical tips in their webinars, worksheets,
and resources available.
224

New Skill
Dilute
Quotas
Global Girl Media encourages
girls to own the mic!
Elect Her is a training program
that trains college women to run
for student government on their
college or university campuses.
Overall, countries with any type of gender quota have higher proportions of
seats held by women in lower or single houses of parliament.
Create a new political party
The Women’s Equality Party is a new collaborative force in
British politics uniting people of all genders, ages,
backgrounds, ethnicities, beliefs, and experiences in the
shared determination to see women
enjoy the same rights and
opportunities as men, so that all
can flourish.
It would have taken ages to reform and gain
gender parity by changing old political parties
from the inside. So the new French president
decided to create his own party from scratch.
Why fight the old if you can build the new?
225

Tech 4 Good
Unite
Some women are creating revolutions through civic tech.
Firuzeh Mahmoudi founded the first civic tech
startup focused on Iran. She and her team are building
apps like Yelp for rating public officials and a women’s
health tracker. And they’re using heritage languages that
are currently banned from official use. Mahmoudi is using
entrepreneurship and technology to help create a more
free society.
Fair Agenda is a community of 35,000
Australians campaigning for a fair and
equal future for women.
Leonore de Roquefeuil runs VOXE to give
tools to young French citizens to better
understand political programs.
Women's marches are powerful.
On October 24th, 1975, an estimated 90% of
Icelandic women took a "Day Off" to draw
attention to their lack of political power and
unequal pay. Women left work and refused
to cook or look after children to draw
attention to their importance in society, but
lack of political power and equal pay.
The effect was incredible.
A year after the strike, in 1976, Iceland formed the Gender Equality Council and
passed the Gender Equality Act, which outlawed gender discrimination
in workplaces and schools. Five years later, in 1980, Iceland
elected its first female president, Vigdis Finnbogadottir,
who held office for four terms, until 1996.
Some books portray new perspectives for young girls.

Toolkit
International Knowledge Network of Women in Politics is an interactive
network of women in politics who share experiences, resources, advice,
and collaborate on issues of interest.
They’ve created a lot of toolkits, including one sharing best
practices used by political parties to promote women in
politics.
Political Parity supports groundbreaking research to test innovative ideas
and strengthen our understanding of strategies to elect women to
high-level political office.
They launched a map of every resource available to women who want to run for
office, an inventory of research on women in politics, innovative studies
examining women’s motivations for and barriers to running for office, and an
exploration of states that have elected multiple women to the Senate or governorships.
Name It. Change It. was launched to
hold media outlets accountable for
their role in the U.S. government’s
gender disparity.
A GOOD TEST OF
WHETHER OR NOT YOU
AS A REPORTER ARE
TAKING SEXISM SERIOUSLY
IS WHETHER YOU WOULD
CITE RACE, CLASS,
ETHNICITY, OR RELIGION IN
THE SAME CONTEXT.
— Gloria Steinem, Journalist and
Co-Founder of the Women’s Media Center
227

Speak up
How to spin a story of sexism.
Almost five years ago, on 17 July 2012, Cécile Duflot
approached the microphone inside France's National
Assembly – the lower house of parliament. At the time,
the Green Party politician was Minister of Territorial
Equality and Housing and and she was about to respond to a question on the
urban development of greater Paris. But, before she could open her mouth,
a cacophony of jeering and whistling erupted – not in response to the question,
but to the summer dress she was wearing.
Five years later, she is launching the #OpérationRobe ("Operation Dress")
campaign toshare stories of everyday sexism, and the interviewees wear the very
same dress Duflot wore.
David Schwimmer, American actor mostly
known for his role in Friends TV series, has
collaborated on a new short film series that
depicts what sexual harassment really looks
like.
Based on true stories, the short films illustrate various environments in which
harassment occurs: a bar, a photography studio, a television show set, as well
as the offices of a doctor, a lawyer, and a politician.
The videos show what harassment feels like in everyday situations where
predatory men take advantage of power structures in the workplace, pressuring
women into uncomfortable, and even dangerous, positions.
228

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
229

Watch some movies about female political leaders.
Read biographies of
female political
leaders.
230

As a parent
As a citizen
Encouraging your daughter to play sports from an early age may generate
a greater sense of competition and, ultimately, political ambition among
young women.
Exposing young women to female candidates and elected officials and
providing examples of how pursuing electoral office can bring about
societal change. This simple step is crucial in helping close the gender
gap in politics. This can go a long way in combating women’s tendency to
self-assess as unqualified to run for office.
Vote.
Join women’s marches.
Write to your political representative about the issues you are concerned
about.
Leverage social media to interact with your political leaders.
Watch the TED Talk "It's time for women to run for office" given by Halla
Tómasdóttir.
Run for office!
231

A WOMAN’S PLACE
IS IN THE HOUSE –
THE HOUSE OF
REPRESENTATIVES.
— Bella Abzug
232

Chapter 9 – Leadership
233

THE PROBLEM:
DON’T BE BOSSY
234

Even though women earn more degrees than men, they are still
underrepresented in leadership roles.
1 in 4 Americans think it is more likely that humans will colonize Mars than
women will comprise half of Fortune 500 CEOs!
Women are still underrepresented at the top of corporations globally.
WORLD
US
Fewer than 5% of global companies have a female CEO.
Women represent only 5% of Fortune 500 companies.
Average percentage of women in executive team:
US
16%
UK
BRAZIL
12%
6%
And at the end of the day…
...more men named John run large US companies than all women!
John
David
All Women
Robert
James
On average, women represent
only 19% of board companies in
the European Union (EU) even if
it has progressed in the last
years.

Chile, Colombia, and Russia top the charts in terms of women's share of
top management positions.
WOMEN’S SHARE OF TOP MANAGEMENT POSITIONS IN EMERGING ECONOMIES
Chile
Columbia
Russia
Brazil
Mexico
Costa Rica
Argentina
OECD
South Africa
China
Peru
Indonesia
Tunisia
India
Turkey
Morocco
Egypt
45%
43%
38%
37%
35%
33%
31%
31%
31%
24%
24%
23%
14%
14%
13%
12%
7%
Source: OECD
THE COUNTRIES WITH THE MOST WOMEN IN THE BOARDROOM
Norway
Finland
France
Germany
United Kingdom
Australia
Spain
United States
Switzerland
Mexico
Japan
South Korea
39%
30%
26%
17%
17%
15%
13%
12%
11%
6%
2%
2%
Source: PWC
236

WHERE ARE WOMEN MOST LIKELY TO BE YOUR BOSS?
Countries with the highest perentages of female managers.
Jamaica
Colombia
Saint Luca
Phillipines
Panama
Belarus
Latvia
Guatemala
Bahamas
Moldova
United States
59%
53%
52%
47%
47%
46%
45%
45%
44%
44%
42%
WHAT ABOUT BEING YOUR OWN BOSS?
Nowadays, women start twice as many businesses as men and account for
more than 50% of all businesses in developing countries.
Some countries are more favorable than others.
But there is still room for improvement.
Only 30% of small and medium enterprises around the world are owned
and run by women.
237

Whether it's in the air...
...or in the kitchen
AND THIS LEADERSHIP GAP
EXISTS IN EVERY FIELD
Only about 450 women worldwide are airline captains/pilots
in command who supervise all the other crew members on
a flight, according to the International Society of Women
Airline Pilots.
In the USA, about 5% of airline or commercial pilots are women.
The gender gap varies by region. It’s wider in Mexico (only 2% women) and
narrower in France (7%), Sweden (8%), and Finland (12%).
Only 1% of Michelin starred restaurants have women chefs.
Discrimination, or women can't cook?
According to Nora Bouazzouni, in her book Faiminisme,
Quand le sexisme pase à table, "When cooking leaves the
private realm for the public one, it becomes valued and
thus is reserved for men."
In France, 94% of chefs are men. The renowned French chef,
Paul Bocuse, refused to employ women in his kitchen.
Netflix’s Chef’s Table series dedicates only 5 out of 22 episodes
to female chefs.
IS CHEF A
MALE WORD?
238

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS
LEADERSHIP GAP?
REASON #1:
EARLY SOCIALIZATION
The Harvard study, Leaning Out, shows that the leadership gap starts at a
young age.
Many boys and girls expressed bias against girls as leaders in powerful
professions.
40% of teen boys and 23% of teen girls preferred male over female political
leaders. 36% of boys preferred male business leaders, and 6% preferred female
leaders. The daring, risk-taking qualities we cultivate in little boys, but not in little
girls, partly explains the difficulty women experience in reaching leadership
positions. Women are trapped in a terrible paradox: the qualities we value in little
girls are actually not the ones valued in the professional world.
Girls are not socialized to be leaders.
GIRLS WOULDN’T VOTE FOR THEMSELVES.
WHY WOULD THEY VOTE FOR ANOTHER GIRL?
— Leaning Out
239

Some mothers appear to be biased against girls as leaders. On average,
mothers presented with councils led by boys expressed stronger support than
mothers presented with councils led by girls. Biases against girls have many
causes, including highly competitive feelings among girls, girls projecting their
lack of self-esteem onto other girls, and girls being viewed as too emotionally
“dramatic.”
Explicit bias: powerful boys and nurturing girls.
Source: Leaning Out | Teen Girls and Leadership Biases
REASON #2:
THE AMBITION GAP
According to the "Ambition and Gender at Work" report from the Institute of
Leadership & Management, the picture of female managers is one lacking career
ambition or expectation, coupled with lower levels of confidence and self-esteem.
Lower ambitions and expectations.
In summary, the research reveals that women managers are impeded in their
careers by lower ambitions and expectations. Compared to their male
counterparts, women tend to lack self-confidence, which leads to a cautious
approach to career opportunities and a less straightforward career path.
Men’s higher expectations and increased confidence propels them into
management roles three years earlier than women.
The research found that, at the outset of their career, women have less clarity
of career direction than men and lower career ambitions.
240

The ambition gap.
The career ambitions of women managers also lag behind those of men.
In general, women set their sights lower than men do and are more likely to
limit their ambitions to more junior ranks of management.
Fewer women than men expect to reach a general manager or director level
by the end of their careers.
Female managers also have lower career confidence.
Men are more confident across all age groups, with 70% of men having high
or quite high levels of self-confidence, compared to 50% of women.
Half of women managers admit to feelings of self-doubt, but only 31% of men
do.
Source: Ambition and Gender at Work, Institute of Leadership and Management
241

And many women in leadership positions still suffer impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome is a concept describing individuals who are marked by an
inability to internalize their accomplishments and a persistent fear of being
exposed as a fraud. The term was coined in 1978 by clinical psychologists
Pauline R. Clance and Suzanne A. Imes.
Despite external evidence of their competence, those exhibiting the syndrome
remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they
have achieved.
Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or a result of deceiving others
into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe
themselves to be. An essay by a psychology professor suggests that
impostor syndrome is particularly common among high-achieving women.
REASON #3:
UNCONSCIOUS BIASES
Girls are not encouraged to develop their leadership identity. They display less
ambition. And on top of it all, when they grow up, women experience
second-generation bias.
What is second-generation gender bias?
Women are not deliberately excluded from leadership, but they face subtle and
often invisible barriers. Among them are:
A paucity of female role models.
Gendered career paths and gendered work.
Entrenched organizational structures and work practices are designed to fit
men’s lives (rotation to sales or operations, international posting.)
Organizations undervalue behind-the-scenes work (building a team,
avoiding a crisis), which women are more likely to do, while rewarding heroic
work, which is most often done by men.
Women’s lack of access to networks and sponsors.
Lack of access to influential colleagues. Men in positions of power tend to
direct developmental opportunities to junior men.
Double binds.
In most cultures, masculinity and leadership are closely linked: The ideal
leader, like the ideal man, is decisive, assertive, competitive, and
independent.
242

In contrast, women are expected to be nice, nurturing, and unselfish. The
mismatch between conventionally feminine qualities and the qualities
thought necessary for leadership puts female leaders in a double bind.
Numerous studies have shown that women who excel in traditionally male
domains are viewed as competent but less likeable than their male counterparts.
Behaviors that suggest self-confidence or assertiveness in men often
appear arrogant or abrasive in women.
Meanwhile, women in positions of authority who enact a conventionally
feminine style may be liked but not respected. They are deemed too
emotional to make tough decisions and too soft to be strong leaders.
Leadership and masculinity.
Despite stereotypes about macho leaders, leadership is not
inherentlymasculine. Because white men have held most
leadership positions in society for so long, the concept of
leadership has been infused with stereotypically masculine
traits: aggression, decisiveness, willingness to engage in
conflict, strength, and so on. These traits are not uniquely
available to white men, of course, nor are they predominant
personality traits in all men. Indeed, researchers have explored the essential
ingredients of leadership and found no gender differences in leadership
effectiveness (Hyde, 2014).
Women have been leaders throughout history.
From the pharaohs of Egypt to the queens of England, women rulers are found in
nearly every culture and time period. Yet, in almost all circumstances, male
leaders greatly outnumber female leaders. Moreover, customs and laws against
female leadership can be found throughout history, most notably in every major
religion (Christ, 2014).
Source: "Barriers and Bias, The Status of Women in Leadership", the
American Association of University Women (AAUW.)
Persistent sex discrimination.
Many women’s experiences in business, education, and politics are profoundly
affected by sexual harassment.
“Microaggressions” describe small mean-spirited acts, such as exclusion and
low-level verbal harassment.
243

Hostile work environments are a form of discrimination that can shape careers.
Women leaders are still perceived as masculine and are sometimes negatively
stereotyped as “lesbians.”
Lack of effective networks and mentors.
Access to influential networks is critical to moving up the leadership hierarchy.
Some studies have found that the social capital gained from networking with
influential leaders is even more important for advancement than job
performance (Eagly & Carli, 2007; Hewlett et al., 2010).
More recently, scholars have focused on sponsorship, a form of mentorship in
which sponsors share both status and opportunity.
Caregiving and women’s choices.
Differences in women’s and men’s earnings also contribute to the leadership
gap.
Women reported a lack of understanding and support from family and
colleagues, as well as different expectations for themselves and their male
peers.
Balancing work and family responsibilities is one of the most challenging
obstacles for women seeking leadership positions (Eagly & Carli, 2007;
Sandberg, 2013), and it can be especially daunting for the millions of working
women raising children on their own (Hess & Kelly, 2015). Women are usually
the primary (if not the only) parent caring for children and other family
members during their peak years in the workforce.
The gender imbalance in leadership is both a women’s issue and a men’s
issue. Being a leader is not inherently valuable or desirable.
Leadership roles can be time consuming and often require great responsibility,
which can cause a great deal of stress and leave little room for other priorities.
Just as the status quo is holding women back from leadership roles, it is
holding men back from embracing caretaking and support roles.
Source: Barriers and Bias, AAUW
And women face the stereotype threat.
Stereotype threat arises when people become aware that they are
negatively stereotyped in their current role or activity.
Negative stereotypes affect individuals’ performance when they attempt
difficult tasks in the domains in which they are negatively stereotyped

(Logel et al., 2012; Hoyt et al., 2010).
Stereotype threat can reduce working memory and, because of
its relationship with stress, anxiety, and disengagement, can
lead to a wide variety of negative attitudes and behaviors
(Hoyt & Blascovich, 2010).
The subtle ways women are treated differently at work.
Women are more likely to get lower initial offers.
Women are less likely to get credit in group projects.
Women are assumed to be incompetent until they prove themselves.
Women get promoted on performance, and men get promoted on potential.
Talkative men are seen as competent, and talkative women are seen as
incompetent.
When women show anger, they are often judged as too emotional.
Men get a fatherhood bonus, and women get a
motherhood penalty.
Women are often interrupted or ignored in meetings.
When speaking in public, women have to take command
of a room.
Women may not be invited to social events.
Women are judged more harshly on their appearance.
In 1996, Peter Glick and Susan Fiske wrote a paper on the concept of ambivalent
sexism, noting that there are two kinds of sexist attitudes and behavior: hostile
and benevolent. Hostile sexism is what most people think of when they picture
“sexism” – angry, explicitly negative attitudes towards women. However, the
authors note, there is also something called benevolent sexism. Rather than
insulting women, benevolent sexists compliment women based on stereotypes
in a patronizing way: Women have motherly nurturing instincts, women are more
compassionate and kind, women are like delicate flowers. Even if this kind of
sexism sounds friendly, it has the same insidious objective: keeping women in
subordinate positions.
It's lonely at the top.
Typically, women view men who exhibit the classic entrepreneurial traits of grit,
tenacity, strength, and leadership as desirable partners. Men, in contrast, may
view women with those traits as bossy or may suspect they will have trouble
compromising or settling into domestic bliss. And because archetypes are, by
definition, embedded in our psyches and in the culture, some men are still put off

y women who call the shots. "Many men are uncomfortable with,
intimidated by, and ill-equipped to handle a powerful woman. People assume
that those with power aren't necessarily nice, and women are supposed to be
nice."
“Alpha types might seek to avoid partners who compete with them intellectually,”
writes Baroness Greenfield, “looking instead for someone to bolster their ego.”
Despite claiming to find intelligent women attractive, men choose not to date
someone who is smarter than themselves, according to a new research by
psychologists at the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University and
University of Texas, Austin. Feelings of diminished masculinity accounted for
men’s decreased attraction toward women who outperformed them.
Source: Inc. The Scarlet Letter of Dating Is 'E' (as in Entrepreneur). Meg Cadoux Hirshberg
If the smarter you are, the more likely you are to be single, what message
does it send to women out there?
Men aren't educated to accept being second in the bread-winning competition
and this is causing women to either settle or stay single. Isn't it a high price to
pay for women leaders? Isn't it a subtle yet powerful unspoken punishment to
discourage women from aiming higher?
And this is not even taking into account the family pressure. Highly educated
women are more often encouraged to find a husband and have children than
climb the career ladder.
So women sabotage their success…
Using minimizing language.
Apologizing.
Asking permission.
Waiting until they’re experts to take on a new role.
Focusing on cooperation rather than competition.
Questioning themselves.
Not setting clear goals.
Only setting goals they know how to reach.
Not setting clear boundaries.
Worrying too much about relationships.
Getting too hung up on details.
Using strategies to sound less threatening.
246

I have an idea...
THREATENING
These numbers are wrong.
NON THREATENING
I’m just thinking out loud here…
I am sorry, are these numbers right?
I’m not 100% sure, I hate numbers.
Source: thecooperreview.com
More than 75% of CEOs include gender equality in their top 10 business
priorities, but gender outcomes across the largest companies are not
changing.
The report, Women in the Workplace, by Lean In and and McKinsey shows
that, in the corporate world, women fall behind early and continue to lose
ground with every step.
Women are less likely to receive their first critical promotion to manager, so far
fewer end up on the path to leadership, and they are less likely to be hired into
more senior positions. As a result, the higher you look in companies, the fewer
women you see.
On average, women are promoted and hired at lower rates than men, so far
fewer women become senior leaders. At more senior levels, we see women
shift from line to staff roles, so very few end up on the path to becoming CEO.
Women are subtly disadvantaged in many of their daily interactions. Fewer
women are able to:
Participate meaningfully in meetings.
Receive a challenging assignment.
Believe their contributions are appropriately valued.
Regarded as a point person for input on important decisions.
Women get less access to senior leaders.
People who do more work at home are less interested in becoming top
executives.
We’re comfortable with the status quo.
Many employees think women are well represented in leadership when they see
only a few. Since they’ve gotten comfortable with the status quo, they don’t feel
any urgency for change.
247

Men are less committed to gender diversity efforts.
Men are less likely to say gender diversity is a top personal priority. Some men
even feel that gender diversity efforts disadvantage them: 15% of men think their
gender will make it harder for them to advance.
Source: Women in the Workplace. Lean in and McKinsey
248

WHAT ARE THE TOP BARRIERS TO
WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP?
Women Fast Forward Initiative from Ernst & Young identifies 4 main barriers:
Unsupportive culture.
Organizational bias.
Conflicts with raising a family.
Shortage of female candidates.
The study also identifies 5 disconnects that are holding back gender diversity
and stifling innovation in business:
1
2
3
4
5
The reality disconnect.
Business leaders assume gender inequality has nearly disappeared despite little
progress within their own companies.
The data disconnect.
Companies don’t effectively measure progress toward achieving gender diversity in
leadership.
The pipeline disconnect.
Companies aren’t creating pipelines for future female leaders.
The perception and perspective disconnect.
Men and women have different views on the gender diversity gap and how to solve it.
The progress disconnect.
Different sectors agree on the value of diversity but are making uneven progress
toward gender parity.
WOMEN WON’T ACHIEVE EQUALITY AT WORK FOR
ANOTHER 118 YEARS.
AS A FATHER, I AM CONCERNED. AS A CEO,
I SEE A CAUSE FOR ACTION.
— Mark Weinberger, EY CEO
249

LEADERSHIP IS CHANGING
Female leadership might be a response to the needs of the future.
McKinsey asked managers to rate the importance of 14 trends on the profitability
of their company over the next 5 years. Leadership behaviors are seen as most
effective in addressing the global challenges of the future, and it turns out that
women apply 3 of these 4 leadership behaviors more frequently than men:
Intellectual stimulation.
Inspiration.
Participative decision-making.
Expectation and rewards.
So the change in how we define leadership also benefits women.
As our economy continues to globalize, as the world gets “flatter,” and as
technology continues to change how we work, leadership is evolving into a
relational activity rather than a hierarchical activity.
We’re transitioning from command and control to facilitative and collaborative
leadership that works across teams, time zones, cultures, and disciplines.
Having women as leaders changes the norms about who can lead and
what qualities are necessary in leadership.
Modern ideas of transformative leadership are more in line with qualities
women have been socialized to develop: empathy, inclusiveness, and an open
negotiation style.
FEMALE LEADERSHIP IS ALSO A
CORPORATE PERFORMANCE DRIVER
250

Diverse studies show that companies with women in leadership roles
crush the competition.
Can you afford a woman-free board?
Companies with even one women director outperform those with none.
#WomenFastForward
There are significant benefits to having women in leadership roles.
Diversity of thought.
Groups that are more mixed will consider a wider range of issues, from a
variety of perspectives, and generate more innovative solutions.
Better governance and organizational performance.
Research shows that economic performance results are better when women
and men work together on boards. This is often referred to as the business
case for gender diversity.
Leveraging human capital.
To get the very best leaders, we need to be selecting candidates from the
widest possible talent pool.
Representation.
Research shows that the interests of women, children, and families are more
likely to be taken into account by women. Diversity promotes a better
understanding of a diverse marketplace. International data suggests that
women are responsible for 80% of household purchasing decisions.
And there is actually a greater preference for female bosses among those
who currently work for a woman.
251

SOME
SOLUTIONS
252

TIME WILL NOT SOLVE THE
GENDER LEADERSHIP GAP, ACTION WILL
MANY TOOLKITS PROVIDE USEFUL TIPS FOR
CURRENT AND FUTURE BUSINESS LEADERS
253

Toolkit
How do we close the gender leadership gap?
Individuals:
Become a student of leadership.
Seek evidence-based leadership training.
Seek out employers that promote women's leadership.
Look for volunteer opportunities that include leadership skill development.
Ask for more.
Learn and practice negotiation skills to ensure that salaries and benefits start
fair and stay fair. Find a sponsor or become one.
Be on the lookout for opportunities to learn from people in leadership
positions, and as you advance in your field, make it your responsibility to
invest in future leaders.
Explore and address your biases.
Find out about your biases and learn some practical tips for avoiding the
mental shortcuts that can lead to unfounded judgments.
Visit the AAUW website and take the Gender and Leadership Implicit
Association Test.
Understand stereotype threat.
Employers:
Offer flexible schedules.
Schedule conferences and important meetings during core working hours to
accommodate employees’ personal needs.
Focus on productivity, not face time.
When managers focus on and recognize employees’ contributions rather than
watching the clock, productivity and morale improve.
Offer evidence-based diversity training.
Actively encourage sponsorship programs.
While mentoring programs can be useful, sponsorship involves the sharing of
credibility and standing in the field.
Design better human resource materials.
Policies and programs designed to reduce bias, such as blind review of
resumes, can limit bias in crucial aspects of the hiring process.
Policymakers:
Tackle persistent sex discrimination.
Strengthen pay equity laws and leave policies.
254

Toolkit
Leader
Accountability
Senior leaders are held
accountable for
gender diversity
Fair and Objective
Hiring and Promotions
- Managers consider a diverse
lineup of candidates for open
positions
- Managers evaluate performance
using standardized, clear and
objective metrics.
MORE TIPS FOR HR MANAGERS
Employment practice reforms.
Research has shown that education alone is not enough to remedy historical
inequities in the workplace. For meaningful progress, managers must be held
accountable, especially for promoting women and men of color into
leadership positions (Duguid & Thomas-Hunt, 2015).
Job descriptions using gender-neutral language (so as not to imply that one
gender is better suited for a position) have also been shown to make a
positive difference (Lennon et al., 2013).
The recommendation process is especially fraught with opportunities for bias.
Talent management.
Inclusive Work
Environment
- Company embraces diverse
leadership styles
- Mangers create a supportive work
environment
- Managers leverage the diverse
strengths of all employees
Outcomes
Employees are more
likely to think they have
equal opportunities
and report higher
employee engagement
Image: Women in the Workplace
We know that women are more hesitant than men when applying for new
positions. Men are willing to take greater risks when applying for stretching

Toolkit
Visualize
jobs; women are more risk-averse, preferring to apply for roles where they are
certain they meet the job description.
To counteract this problem, organizations should structure their talent
management systems to ensure that the most talented individuals – including
women managers – are proactively identified and encouraged to apply for
leadership positions. Open advertising for internal positions may not
necessarily produce the best person for a role. Personalized development and
support programs for pre-selected employees can help women set more
ambitious goals and encourage greater risk-taking.
Flexible attitudes.
Women are far more likely than men to leave the career ladder in order to raise
families, pursue education, or tackle other interests. This often capsizes
women’s careers and places them at a disadvantage when chasing senior
leadership and management positions.
An emphasis on "anytime, anywhere" availability and linear career paths is
clearly not compatible with the roles many people with family demands are
likely to pursue. Flexible working and work-life balance policies have a huge
part to play in helping women align a more fragmented career route with
senior management responsibilities.
Rethinking recruitment and selection.
When recruiting for top jobs, headhunters should be challenged to deliver an
equal number of male and female candidates. At the same time, employers
should challenge themselves to prioritize skills, talent, and potential over
experience.
Creating safe environments.
Creating a safe setting—a coaching relationship, a women’s leadership program,
a support group of peers—in which women can interpret these messages is
critical to their leadership identity development.
256

New Heroes
SOME INITIATIVES PORTRAY INSPIRING
STORIES OF WOMEN LEADERS
Getting more women into leadership roles will encourage others to step up.
Employers can benefit from raising the profile, voice, and visibility of successful
women leaders across the organization through internal communications,
networking, and development events, as well as leveraging their experience to
help nurture other women managers.
Like the first all-female crew flying
Ethiopian airlines.
Or the Brunei crew landing a
commercial flight in Saudi Arabia,
where women were not allowed to
drive.
Frequent, high-quality interactions with successful female role models have
been shown to improve college women’s perception of their leadership
abilities and career ambitions (Asgari et al., 2012).
Exposure to counter-stereotypical role models can actually reduce the effects
of stereotypical thinking in completely different settings (Leicht et al., 2014).
Women’s advancement is strongly linked to board-level gender diversity
(Skaggs et al., 2012).
When women are in top leadership positions, women are more likely to be
promoted to leadership.
MAKERS' podcast showcases a
collection of inspiring women's
stories.
257

New Skill
#JamaisSansElles is a French movement promoted by leaders from media,
education, politics, and business who refuse to be part of debates if
women are not included.
In France, the feminist collective La Barbe (The Beard) wants to make male
domination in the fields of leadership more visible. Their members,
wearing a fake beard, invade all-male board meetings or panels and stand
behind them to mock the situation.
MANY ORGANIZATIONS OFFER
INNOVATIVE MENTORING PROGRAMS
Mentoring programs also have an important role to play in raising women
managers’ aspirations and self-confidence, as well as driving their leadership
development. Employers should look to identify successful leaders of both sexes
to serve as mentors to female managers and provide advice and encouragement
based on their own experience, helping them build networks and encouraging
them to seize career opportunities.
Source: Ambition and gender at work, Institute of Leadership & Management
IT SHOULD BE A BADGE OF HONOR
FOR MEN TO MENTOR WOMEN.
— Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO
258

New Skill
Specific Communities
The Coaching Fellowship provides pro
bono executive coaching for
extraordinary young women leaders
globally.
The Cherie Blair Foundation For Women matches women in developing
and emerging countries with male and female mentors around the world.
Wedu’s mission is to unlock the
leadership potential of women in Asia by
providing them with lifelong mentorship
and innovative financing options to
complete higher education and become
change-makers in their communities.
The Nawaya Network is a Lebanese nonprofit organization that empowers
youth from marginalized backgrounds through training, innovation, and
talent development.
259

Tech 4 Good
Empow’her supports women's
empowerment through entrepreneurship.
They provide training, support, and
network access to help women create and
develop sustainable businesses.
Female Future Force Academy
is offering 52 weeks of
digital coaching for women.
The mission of Dress for Success is to empower women to achieve
economic independence by providing a network of support, professional
attire, and development tools to help women thrive in work and in life.
Some apps offer career advice.
Landit is the personalized playbook for
women seeking to move their career
forward.
Apres facilitates the reintegration of women
into the workforce.
Teach a Girl to Lead provides the
tools and resources to help young
people rethink leadership and refocus
the picture. If a girl can’t imagine
a woman leader, how can she
become one? And if a boy sees only
men in leadership roles, what will
convince him to support aspiring
women leaders?
260

Tech 4 Good
Rate
Katharine Zaleski and Milena Berry founded Power to Fly to help connect
women around the world to tech jobs they could do remotely.
Glowork is the first website and movement dedicated to female
recruitment in the Gulf States and the most innovative enabler when it
comes to creating equal opportunities for women.
In Saudi Arabia, women represent
only 15% of the workforce even
though 60% of women have PhD
degrees (Source: Booz & Co, study
conducted in 2008).
SOME PROJECTS RATE
THE GENDER PARITY OF COMPANIES
LedBetter is a research group that
runs a database and application
showcasing the number of women
in leadership at the world’s top
consumer brands and companies.
Its mission is to empower and educate consumers, policymakers, leaders,
journalists, and others about the companies they support and to cover and
improve the public’s understanding of which companies promote gender equality
in leadership — and which do not.
261

Unite
New Skill
Includeed allows you to evaluate
how inclusive your company is.
Bloomberg announced the 2017
Financial Services Gender-Equality
Index (BFGEI), providing investors
and organizations with insight into
the statistics, policies, product
offerings, and external engagement
driving 52 firms’ commitment to
building gender-equal workplaces.
EDGE Certification is the leading global assessment methodology and
business certification standard for gender equality. EDGE Certification
stands for Economic Dividends for Gender Equality Certification. EDGE
Certification is currently working with more than 170 organizations in over
48 countries and 23 industries.
SOME POWERFUL COMMUNITIES PROVIDE SUPPORT
AND CONTACTS TO FEMALE PROFESSIONALS
Girltank is a collaborative and global
community of female social
innovators.
She Entrepreneurs is a recognized leadership program for young
emerging female social entrepreneurs in the Middle East, North Africa,
and Sweden.
262

New Skill
Specific Communities
Femmes d’Avenir Méditerranée is a leadership
program created by Sciences Po Paris for young
women leaders of the Mediterranean region.
Ogunte enables women social
entrepreneurs to learn and
connect.
She Leads Africa is the #1 destination
for young African women
looking to build successful
careers or businesses.
SheWorx is a global collective of ambitious female entrepreneurs
redefining leadership.
Women 2.0 is the leading brand for women in tech.
SOME EVENTS ALLOW FEMALE
PROFESSIONALS TO DEVELOP THEIR
VISIBILITY AND THEIR NETWORK
The three-day Women in the World Summit, held at New York City’s
Lincoln Center, presents powerful new female role models whose personal
stories illuminate the most pressing international issues.
263

New Skill
Specific Communities
The Women's Forum for the Economy
& Society is the world's leading
platform featuring women's voices
on major social and economic
issues.
Women's Forum meetings convene
leaders and influencers, women and
men, to engage in wide-ranging, incisive
debates on vital issues.
In London’s Southbank Centre, WOW
– Women of the World festival looks
at the obstacles that stop women
and girls from achieving their
potential.
The International Women’s Forum builds better global leadership across
careers, continents, and cultures by connecting the world’s most
pre-eminent women of significant and diverse achievement.
I Am Tomorrow is an interactive festival and conference that brings together
incredible women in tech, business, arts, sports, science, politics, and
beyond.
SOME INCUBATORS PROVIDE ACCELERATION FOR
FEMALE-RELATED PROJECTS
The Girl Effect Accelerator is the world's
first accelerator dedicated to girls in
poverty, born from a partnership
between The Nike Foundation and
Unreasonable Group.
264

F>>Lane, in partnership with Vodafone, accelerates social ventures that
utilize technology to empower women worldwide.
In Paris, Led by Her transforms
women who have experienced
domestic violence into successful
entrepreneurs.
Paris Pionnières is the first French
innovation platform for women
entrepreneurs.
In Kenya, Akili Dada is an
award-winning leadership incubator
nurturing a generation of girls and
young women from underprivileged
backgrounds.
Globally Spotted is a discovery and
social amplification platform on a
mission to champion more diversity in
business and more visibility for inspiring
companies with innovative, smart and
purpose-driven business models, led
and founded by women worldwide.
265

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
266

Read Lean In and join a Lean In circle in your city, or create one!
SISTERHOOD IS POWERFUL
Support your female friends.
Practice the “shine theory”: The shine theory is frequently used by US
podcast hosts Ann Friedman and Aminatou Sow in their popular show
“Call Your Girlfriend.” “When you meet a woman who is intimidatingly
witty, stylish, beautiful, and professionally accomplished, befriend her.
Surrounding yourself with the best people doesn’t make you look worse
by comparison. It makes you better. I don't shine if you don't shine. True
confidence is infectious,” Ann Friedman suggested.
THERE IS A SPECIAL PLACE IN HELL FOR
WOMEN WHO DON’T HELP OTHER WOMEN.
— Madeleine Albright
Check the Leadership Tips for Parents guide from Lean In and Ban
Bossy.
Practice the G.I.R.L. problem-solving protocol with your daughter to
develop her leadership skills:
G
I
R
L
(Gather Your Choices):
Write about all the possible choices you could make.
(I Choose):
Pick one choice out of all the possibilities you just listed and
decide what you want to do.
(Reasons Are):
Write in the reasons why you made your choice.
(List the Outcomes):
List all the things that could happen if you make this choice.
267

I WANT EVERY LITTLE GIRL WHO’S TOLD
SHE’S BOSSY TO BE TOLD INSTEAD SHE
HAS LEADERSHIP SKILLS.
— Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO
Source: Ban Bossy Leadership Tips for Parents
BUILD YOUR OWN CONFIDENCE
Here are a few tips for building up your own “savings account.”
Exercise. A good workout can make you feel powerful, like you can take
on the world.
Be bossy. You don’t have to be everyone’s best friend, but you do have to
practice taking charge and making decisions.
Don’t work too hard. Without personal down time, you can’t recharge,
focus, or be happy.
Stop comparing yourself. Stop looking at what everyone else has or does
or wears, and focus on what’s right for you.
Don’t be afraid to be audacious. Audacious means being a daring, spirited
one who sees what others can’t and goes for it even when not yet
understood.
268

In her famous talk, Amy Cuddy
gives simple advice about using
your body language to make
yourself more confident.
Practice power posing.
In two minutes, it brings your testosterone level up and your
cortisol level down, and you truly feel more powerful. By
accessing our personal power, we can achieve "presence,"
the state in which we stop worrying about the impression we're
making on others and instead adjust the impression we've been
making on ourselves.
Society tells women to forget themselves and sacrifice for others’ well-being.
So consider self-love as a feminist endeavor, the first act of resistance.
For example:
Answering “Thank you” to a compliment.
Using exercise as a means of self-love and not self-destruction.
Recognizing when your romantic or sexual relationships are unfulfilling or
toxic.
Being more comfortable stating what your needs are.
Becoming more comfortable with calling yourself an expert in your field.
Being better able to communicate with the people around you in non-violent
ways.
Drawing clearer boundaries around who you want to spend time with, and
who you don’t.
Being more supportive – and less competitive – with other women around you.
Read Brené Brown’s books! Listen to her
talks!

Set yourself some challenges and goals.
Learn a new skill.
Buy yourself empowering clothes.
Register for a coaching/mentoring program.
Mentor someone.
Start your own business!
Develop your abundance mindset.
Set yourself 3 challenges for the coming year.
Sing!
Identify your superpowers.
Meditate.
Practice gratitude.
Create a habit or quit one. Commit for
21 days.
What is your bucket list?
Dream big!
GIVE US A WORLD WHERE 1/2 OF OUR HOMES
ARE RUN BY MEN, AND 1/2 OF OUR INSTITUTIONS
ARE RUN BY WOMEN.
— Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO
THE WORLD NEEDS A NEW
TYPE OF LEADER
270

Chapter 10 – Investors
271

THE PROBLEM:
MONEY IS NOT A
WOMAN’S BUSINESS
$
272

The Power of the Crowd
Just have a look at our banknotes!
Around the world, many activists have launched campaigns to update the
faces of paper currencies.
But they also face a tremendous backlash.
UK activist Caroline Criado-Perez, who convinced the Bank of England to
make Jane Austen the new face of the £10 note, has received rape and death
threats from Twitter users.
“We fought, and we won. For all the hatred and bile and fear of women taking
up public space, we have achieved this small victory,” she said in a statement.
Hopefully, things are changing.
OUR COUNTRY IS NOT JUST
ABOUT THE BENJAMINS.
IT’S ABOUT THE
TUBMANS TOO.
— Barack Obama
273

Yet, women are more comfortable talking about their health than their
wealth.
Eight in 10 women avoid financial conversations because they are “too
personal” or “uncomfortable.”
Even in romantic relationships, where financial assets are often shared,
research by Fidelity Investments found that women are more likely to talk with
their significant others about health issues (78%) and sex (74%) than salary
(66%) or investment ideas (65%).
Women’s anxiety about discussing money occurs even if they’re talking to a
financial adviser. Less than half of women Fidelity surveyed (47%) say they’d
be confident talking about money and investments with a financial
professional, compared to 77% who would be comfortable discussing
medical issues with their doctor.
Source: Fidelity’s Money FIT Women Study
Privacy worries.
35% of the women in the survey didn't want to share financial information with
those they were close to, and 27% said they were raised not to discuss
finances.
In short, it's really tough to talk about money when we are socialized to keep
this kind of information private.
We worry that talking about money will make us vulnerable, make someone
feel bad, or simply cross a tacit societal boundary.
Lack of confidence.
In addition to privacy concerns, women often have difficulty talking about
money because they assume they do not know enough about the subject.
10% of respondents in Fidelity's study felt they did not understand finances
enough to talk intelligently about them.
According to Kathleen Murphy, President of Personal Investing at Fidelity
Investments:
“Beneath women's reticence to talk about money lies a lack of confidence in
their knowledge of financial planning and investing. This lack of confidence is
really self-imposed. Our analysis of more than 12 million investors shows that
women actually demonstrated stronger saving rates than their male
counterparts and enjoyed better long-term investment performance when they
did engage. Unfortunately, too many women still hesitate to take control of
their finances.” 274

48% OF WOMEN
DESCRIBE
THEMSELVES
AS KNOWLEDGEABLE
ABOUT SAVING
AND INVESTING
VS. 57% OF MEN
Source: Blackrock Global Investor Pulse Survey, 2013
That confidence gap can feel like a Catch-22.
Women feel foolish for not knowing enough about finances, but asking
questions is intimidating. So, women continue to worry in silence and assume
they don't know enough to talk intelligently.
Even when women are confident in financial matters, many persist in using
self-deprecating language when asked about their ability to manage their
finances.
Only 18% of millennial women (compared to 29% of millennial men)
demonstrate high financial literacy.
While this is a concerning statistic, this is one area where the gender gap
appears to be closing. The percentage point difference between the genders
for millennials is 11 points vs. 21 points for Gen Xers and 25 points for Baby
Boomers.
The financial industry must take some responsibility for closing the confidence
gap: Research by the Boston Consulting Group found that women (globally)
are more dissatisfied with the financial services industry than with any other
industry!
As the industry is still mainly run by men catering to men, women often feel as
if their needs are not being met.
“Married women are often considered
mere appendages to their husbands.
It should come as no surprise, then,
that more than 70% of married women
fire their financial professionals within
one year of their husbands’ deaths.”
275

And the pay gap reinforces the fact that women build less wealth than men
While the wage gap between men and women is getting smaller, women still
earn about $11,500 less per year.
As a result, women save less and are hesitant to take risks when it comes to
investing the money they do save.
Per Wells Fargo, only 50% of millennial women have started saving for
retirement, vs. 61% of millennial men.
The lack of both knowledge and savings
can be more costly for women since they
tend to live longer.
Poverty has a woman’s face.
Women comprise half the
world's population, while they
represent a staggering 70% of
the world's poor.
MEN
WOMEN
70% OF
THE POOR
30% OF
THE POOR
Conclusion: Men still earn and control the majority of the wealth!
Today,
8men
possess the same wealth as
half of the world’s population!
Perform
66%
of the world’s work
Earn
10%
of the income
Produce
50%
of the food
Own
1%
of the property

MONEY IS POWER
Today, the investment field is largely male-dominated.
Just remember "The Wolf of Wall Street" movie.
Fewer than one-third of venture capital firms in the U.S. employ even one
woman who participates in business or investment decisions. Only 9% of
mutual fund managers are women, according to a 2015 study by investment
research firm Morningstar.
There are plenty of women in back-office roles in finance, but few have the
final say over where the money is invested.
In a 2014 KPMG report, only 14% of executive women surveyed across the
financial industry held the post of chief executive officer, and only 21% were in
roles that let them manage money, with the vast majority of women relegated
to marketing or compliance.
Where are the female fund mangers?
FUND MANAGERS
BY GENDER
FUNDS BY GENDER
MEN
RUN BY
MEN ONLY
2.5%
RUN BY
WOMEN ONLY
184 funds
90.4%
6,711 funds
9.4%
WOMEN
699 funds
77.9%
5,775 funds
19.6%
RUN BY
MEN & WOMEN
1,452 funds
Source: Wall Street Journal. Where are the female fund managers.
86%
of
Investment Advisors are Men, with an
average age of 50+
Source: Ellevest
277

Meredith Jones explains:
“You tend to look for candidates that look like the people that have
been successful in the role before. So if you’ve always hired white
men, and they’ve been successful in those roles, unconsciously,
you are likely going to continue to look for those kinds of people.”
“Again, even if it is among the highest remunerated professions,
less women are socialized to study finance. When they do, they
face overt sexism and unconscious bias.”
These biases make it notoriously difficult for women to break into finance and to
make connections that provide that vital source of deal flow. Few women are
opting for careers in investing as it is still perceived as an environment that is
aggressive and hostile to women. They lack role models of successful women in
finance, so it is harder for them to visualize it as a career prospect.
As with many male-dominated industries, the lack of women can
be explained by:
Scarce pipeline
Unconscious biases
Fewer connections
Lack of role models
Rich women tend to become philanthropists rather than investors.
Ledbury Research for Barclay’s Wealth found that women in the U.S. give 3.5%
of their wealth to charity, while men give just 1.8%. And it isn’t just a U.S.
phenomenon. In the U.K., women give 0.8%, compared with 0.5% for men.
Source: Wall Street Journal.
50% OF WOMEN GIVE TO WOMEN AND GIRLS
CAUSES BUT LESS THAN 1% CURRENTLY INVESTS
WITH A GENDER LENS.
— Women at the Forefront
278

The Wells Fargo Affluent Women Retirement Survey showed that a startling 49%
of affluent women do not feel confident about investing, which is, again, a likely
result of the territorial “gentlemen’s club” mentality attached to the industry.
Yet, funds run by women have better results.
In fact, funds owned and run by women have returned an average of 59%
since 2007, compared with an average of 37% for the whole industry,
according to figures released by Chicago-based Hedge Fund Research Inc.,
which launched its first index exclusively tracking women-run funds in 2015.
Ironically, risk avoidance is part of what makes women better investors.
Female investors behave differently.
Studies have consistently shown that female investors behave in three ways that
differentiate them from men:
They experience fewer losses caused by overconfidence and overtrading.
They exhibit greater discipline in their investing decisions.
They focus more on protecting their investments from downside risk.
WOMEN’S PROCLIVITY TOWARD LONG-TERM WEALTH
CREATION OVER SHORT-TERM TRADING PROFIT MAKES
THEM IDEALLY SUITED TO BE SUCCESSFUL INVESTORS.
— Manisha Thakor, Director of Wealth Strategies for Women
According to Christine Lagarde, Director of the International Monetary
Fund, more women in finance would make banks work better. It is crucial
to incorporate alternative values into finance.
The lack of diversity in the investment world and its inherent herd mentality led
to massive economic crises.
WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF LEHMAN BROTHERS
HAD BEEN LEHMAN SISTERS?
— Christine Lagarde, Managing Director of the IMF
279

In her TED Talk, "The feminine response to Iceland's financial crash," Halla
Tómasdóttir explains that there is a necessity for a new model incorporating
different values, a different way of doing business that looks for economic as
well as emotional capital, financial and social return, profit with principles.
Women also struggle to get funded.
Women entrepreneurs contribute to job growth and innovation.
So why are they struggling to get funded?
#WomenFastForward
People tend to invest in people who look, think, and have similar backgrounds to
them. Since the investment world is mostly male-dominated, far fewer women
secure VC funding, making them generally less successful in the overall startup
ecosystem.
Only about 10% of female entrepreneurs globally have access to the capital
they need to expand their businesses, according to the International Finance
Corporation (IFC).
An IFC-McKinsey study noted that women face a credit gap of approximately
$320 billion.
THERE’S PLENTY OF WOMEN’S LEADERSHIP
PRODUCT, BUT IT’S A DROP IN THE BUCKET IN
THE DEMAND FOR CAPITAL.
— Blackrock Global Investor Pulse Survey, 2013
In the US, only
4%
of venture capital
goes to female
entrepreneurs.
In the EU, women are
37%
more likely to be
self-funded.
In the EU,
male entrepreneurs are
86%
more likely to receive
venture capital investment.
280

SOME
SOLUTIONS
281

Visualize
New Skill
Fearless Girl is a bronze sculpture by
Kristen Visbal, commissioned by State
Street Global Advisors via McCann New York.
It depicts a Latina girl standing defiantly in
front of the well-known Charging Bull
of Wall Street and was installed on
International Women’s Day 2017.
The intention of installing a Fearless Girl
in the heart of New York City's Financial District
was to celebrate the power of women's leadership and the potential of the
next generation of women leaders.
The statue won three Grand Prix awards at the 2017 Cannes Lions Festival
and received tremendous social media coverage.
Image: Associated Press
Some programs provide financial
education to women and girls around the
world.
Arora has partnered with the National Financial Educators Council to
provide women with Arora-Ed, the first free financial literacy course
designed for women business owners and their supporters.
Arora-Ed provides women and their supporters with free, transformative, and
user-friendly resources, giving them access to hassle-free credit, financial
education, and money management tools.
MyBnk is an award-winning UK charity
that teaches young people how to manage
their money and set up their own
enterprises.
282

New Skill
Aflatoun International offers social and
financial education to millions of children
and young people worldwide, empowering
them to make a positive change for a more
equitable world.
Three Coins is an independent,
award-winning organization specialized in
developing educational tools to promote
responsible personal finance.
There are two main ways to get more women into investing:
1
2
Investor training: Women are more likely to invest in other women.
Increase the number of women investors through training programs.
Invest in female entrepreneurs: Most business angels are former
entrepreneurs. When more female entrepreneurs receive early stage
funding, more will see their businesses prosper, and they will go on to
reinvest their profits.
TRAIN WOMEN TO
BE INVESTORS
37 Angels is a community of women investors whose mission is to educate
early stage investors.
In 2014, only 26% of U.S. angel investors were women and only 8% were
minorities, according to the Center for Venture Research.
283

Specific Communities
New Skill
Unite
Pipeline Fellowship, an angel investing bootcamp for women, works to
increase diversity in the U.S. angel investing community and to create
capital for women social entrepreneurs.
The time commitment is approximately two
full days per month for six months for a fee
of $4,500. Each Pipeline Fellow commits to
invest $5,000 in the same woman-led
for-profit social venture at the end of the
program.
By completing Girls Who Invest's rigorous
program, talented and motivated women
will be well prepared to enter the industry
across all asset classes, including public
and private equity, fixed income, credit,
hedge funds, real estate, and
infrastructure.
She EO’s model brings together 500
women Activators in each cohort, who
each contribute $1100 as an act of radical
generosity.
The money is pooled together and loaned out at low interest rate to 5
women-led ventures selected by the activators. All ventures are
revenue-generating with export potential and create a better world through their
business model or their product or service. Loans are paid back into the fund
over 5 years and then loaned out again, which creates a perpetual fund to pass
on to our daughters, granddaughters, and nieces.
Isabella Forum is a network that helps women better manage their money
around major life events.
284

Specific Communities
New Skill
Unite
We Are Enough advocates for women to invest their dollars into
women-owned businesses, especially those in technology, finance, and
entertainment – three industries that greatly impact the world and women.
DEVELOPING FINANCIAL VEHICLES
DEDICATED TO FEMALE ENTREPRENEURS
Global Invest Her demystifies the funding
process so women entrepreneurs become
investor-ready and get funded faster.
Global Invest Her offers community-based
learning, webinars, and one-on-one
mentoring.
Some programs offer microfinance and
loans especially dedicated to women, like
Catapult or Women’s Worldwide Web.
285

New Skill Specific Communities The Power of the Crowd
The Next Billion builds collaborative
platforms that leverage the power of the
crowd to connect the growing number of
female-led enterprises worldwide with
access to growth opportunities.
Female Founders Fund invests in areas
where women-led startups have incredible
impact: e-commerce, web-enabled
products and services, marketplaces, and
platforms.
Springboard Enterprises is a highly-vetted expert network of innovators,
investors, and influencers who are dedicated to building high-growth
technology-oriented companies led by women.
Astia is a community of experts
committed to leveling the playing field
for women entrepreneurs by providing
access to capital and networks for the
companies they lead.
The JumpFund's mission is to seed and grow strong, women-led ventures
in the Southeastern US.
Women Effect is an information hub
based at Wharton Business School in
the U.S. to promote gender lens
investing.
286

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
287

As a young woman, be proud to excel in math, science, and computer
programming classes.
Kickstart your financial education at your own pace with all the online or
offline tools you can find.
Enroll in personal finance and accounting classes.
Talk about money and ask for help if you need it.
Ask for a raise.
Identify your financial advisor.
Find a buddy to discuss financial matters.
Start saving, even a little.
Join a cohort of female investors and learn more.
Investment channels money to the projects that will shape the future.
You have savings? Invest!
MONEY GIVES YOU THE POWER TO DO WHATEVER
YOU WANT TO DO. I LIKE THE IDEA OF BEING IN
COMPLETE CONTROL OF MY LIFE.
— Louise Mensch
BECOME A FEARLESS INVESTOR
288

Chapter 11 – Pay Gap
289

THE PROBLEM:
WOMEN.
LIKE MEN,
ONLY CHEAPER
290

The gender pay gap is a reality all over the world.
Globally, women earn 24% less than men on average.
24% 33% 30% 23% 22% 20% 19% 14%
Global
South Asia
Sub-Saharan
Africa
Developed
Regions
Central and
Eastern
Europe and
Central Asia
East Asia and
the Pacific
Latin America
and the
Caribbean
Middle East
and North
Africa
progress.unwomen.org
#WomensProgress2015
Gender pay gap in the OECD
Men make 15.3% more than women on average, full-time workers.
0 10 20 30 40 %
Korea
Estonia
Japan
Israel
Netherlands
Finland
Turkey
Canada
Austria
Australia
United States
United Kingdom
Portugal
Chile
Switzerland
Czech Republic
Mexico
OECD
Sweden
Iceland
Slovak Republic
France
Germany
Ireland
Slovenia
Greece
Italy
Poland
Hungary
Spain
Norway
Denmark
Luxembourg
Belgium
New Zealand
5.9
5.6
7.0
6.8
6.5
8.7
8.6
11.6
11.3
11.1
10.6
14.5
14.1
13.7
13.4
12.8
15.4
15.3
15.1
16.7
16.7
16.5
16.1
18.1
18.0
17.9
17.5
19.2
0 10 20 30 40 %
20.5
20.2
20.1
21.8
26.6
26.6
36.6
*Difference in earnings between
men and women as a percentage
of the earnings of men.
Source: OECD Employment Outlook 2015
291

It affects people differently, according to country, race, and class.
$1.00 77¢ 64¢ 56¢
WHITE MAN WHITE WOMAN AFRICAN AMERICAN HISPANIC WOMAN
WOMAN
Even in the film industry...
Data: US Equal Pay Back Project
FORBES 2013 LIST OF THE TOP TEN HIGHEST PAID ACTRESSES MADE A COLLECTIVE
$181 MILLION VERSUS $465 MILLION MADE BY THE TOP TEN MALE ACTORS.
MEN
WOMEN
$181 MILLION
$465 MILLION
IN 2013 THE HIGHEST PAID FEMALE ACTOR, ANGELINA JOLIE, MADE $33 MILLION, ROUGHLY THE
SAME AMOUNT AS THE TWO LOWEST-RANKED MEN. FURTHERMORE, AGE APPEARS TO BE A
DOMINANT FACTOR IN AN ACTRESS'S MONETARY SUCCESS COMPARED TO MEN.
Millions of dollars
75
70
65
60
55
50
45
40
35
30
25
20
15
10
$75
$60
$55
$52
$46
Of the 16 biggest paychecks earned
by actors per film, not a single one
was earned by a female actor
$39 $37 $35 $33 $33 $32
$26
$22 $20 $16 $15 $14 $14 $11 $11
Robert Downey Jr. (48)
Channing Tatum (33)
Hugh Jackman (45)
Mark Wahlberg (42)
Dwayne Johnson (41)
Leonardo DiCaprio (39)
Adam Sandler (47)
Tom Cruise (51)
Denzel Washington (58)
Angelina Jolie (38)
Liam Neeson (61)
Jennifer Lawrence (23)
Kristen Stewart (23)
Jennifer Aniston (44)
Emma Stone (25)
Charlize Theron (38)
Sandra Bullock (49)
Natalie Portman (32)
Mila Kunis (30)
Julia Roberts (46)
Median Age: 46.5 Median Age: 34.8
292

...or in sports.
WHY?
REASON #1:
OCCUPATION AND “CHOICE”
Segregation by occupation is a major factor behind the pay gap. It is a reflection
of women’s and men’s “choices.”
Women and men tend to work in different kinds of jobs. Women are disproportionately
represented in education, office and administrative support, and health
care. Men are disproportionately represented in construction, maintenance and
repair, and production and transportation (U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics,
2016b).
Jobs traditionally associated with men
tend to pay more than traditionally
female-dominated jobs that require
the same level of skill (Hegewisch
& Hartmann, 2014).
Source: The Simple Truth About The Gender Paygap 2017. AAUW.
Women are over-represented in low-wage jobs.
Research shows that the more women enter a field, the more the pay goes

down, even as the work stays the same. The same dynamic depresses wages in
occupations that are primarily female compared to similar occupations that are
primarily male. For example, janitors are paid about 22% more than maids.
How college majors contribute to the gender pay gap.
In the 2016 study, Demystifying the Gender Pay Gap, Glassdoor Economic
Research found that the biggest cause of today’s gender pay gap is that men
and women sort into different jobs — men into higher-paying positions and
women into traditionally lower-paying jobs.
Women earn 12% less than men as soon as they leave college.
The study concluded that more than half of the gap is due to “occupational
sorting”, meaning men cluster into degree subjects that result in higher-paying
careers than their female counterparts.
Men outnumber women in almost every science and engineering field in college,
with particularly dramatic differences in areas such as physics and computer
science.
Under-representation of women in these disciplines fuels pay imbalances
because the skills they teach tend to be highly rewarded, Glassdoor’seconomists
explain.
“When we isolate by major, pay gaps remain because men and women are
sorting into different jobs after graduating - a clear sign of societal pressures
and gender norms at play in the career paths of young workers.”
Source: The Independent
294

REASON #2:
NEGOTIATING LESS
Traditionally, it has been socially expected (and therefore accepted) for men to
negotiate for raises because negotiating conforms with the stereotype of men as
assertive.
But negotiation is especially tricky for women because some behaviors that work
for men, like self-promotion and assertiveness, may backfire on women (Carter &
Silva, 2011; Bowles & Babcock, 2013).
Here’s the percentage of graduating professional students who attempted to
negotiate their pay:
MEN
WOMEN
57%
7%
Source: Lilyline. Washington Post.
Consciously or unconsciously, women tend to ask for less money. Even top
leaders settle for less remuneration. Women are four times less likely to
negotiate than men. When they do negotiate, women typically ask for 30% less
money.
Women have thus progressively internalized a sense of lower self-worth.
55% SAY THEY DON’T
NEGOTIATE BECAUSE THEY
DON’T WANT TO COME
ACROSS AS PUSHY.
— LEVO 2015 SURVEY
295

REASON #3:
PARENTING AND TIME
AWAY FROM PAID WORK
Taking time away from the workforce or cutting back hours, which mothers do
more often than fathers, hurts earnings (Bertrand et al., 2010). Many employers
and industries still prioritize long, continuous, traditional work hours rather than
flexible schedules, a preference that tends to put women with children at a
disadvantage (Goldin, 2014).
Women are more likely to take time off from paid work for caregiving.
The motherhood penalty vs the fatherhood bonus.
Many stay-at-home and part-time working mothers will eventually decide to
return to full-time work. When they do, these mothers may encounter a
“motherhood penalty” that extends beyond the actual time out of the workforce.
Experimental studies have documented that employers are less likely to hire
mothers (including mothers who never left the workforce) compared with
child-free women. When employers do make an offer to a mother, they offer her
a lower salary than they do other women (Correll & Benard, 2007; Kricheli-Katz,
2012). Fathers, in contrast, do not suffer a penalty compared with other working
men. Many fathers actually receive higher wages after having a child, known as
the “fatherhood bonus.” (Kille-wald, 2013; Budig, 2014).
Source: The Simple Truth About The Gender Paygap 2017. AAUW.
Even in a country like Sweden.
Globally, on average, the time women
spend daily in caring for the home and
children is still about three times what
men spend.
296

Across the world, women spend more time than men do on paid and
unpaid work combined.
Source: State of the World’s Father 2017
Even if countries start
to introduce
paternity leave.
There is still a long way
to go.
297

REASON #4:
GENDER DISCRIMINATION
AND BIAS
Thanks in part to persistent sex discrimination, women are also less likely than
men to reach the highest-paying leadership and executive positions.
For example, a 2012 experiment gave science professors hiring a lab manager
two identical resumes, one with the name John and one with the name Jennifer.
The science professors judged John to be more competent and offered the male
applicant $4,000 more than the female one.
Source: The Simple Truth About The Gender Paygap 2017. AAUW.
298

SOME
SOLUTIONS
299

Humor
Some videos make fun of the wage gap.
Kristen Bell highlights the gender wage gap with “Pinksourcing” video. The
satirical video, part of The Huffington Post’s “Celebs Have Issues” series,
advocates for “Pinksourcing,” i.e., hiring women in your office because they’re
both cheaper and more likely to do free emotional labor!
In a Buzzfeed video, a woman’s response
to discovering that she earns 78% of what
her male colleagues earn is simple: she’ll
only do 78% of her work. Easy!
In another satirical video, comedian Sarah Silverman is sitting at a doctor's
office, waiting for her gender-reassignment surgery. She says this "extreme
solution" is far cheaper than the money she'll lose out on due to the gender pay
gap!
For other ladies who prefer to remain that way, Silverman has another
suggestion: support her $30 trillion crowdfunding campaign, The Equal
Payback Project, to pay back all the women in the US the income they’ve
missed out on.
300

New Skill
Unite
Some websites train female employees
to better negotiate their salary.
YOU GET IN LIFE WHAT
YOU HAVE THE COURAGE
TO ASK FOR.
— Oprah Winfrey
Since benefits and subsequent raises are generally based on initial wages, a
lower starting salary could mean a lifetime of lower compensation and
retirement benefits.
Because most employers have some latitude when it comes to salaries,
negotiating your salary can pay off.
Knowing what your skills are worth, making clear what you bring to the table,
emphasizing common goals, and maintaining a positive attitude are some
negotiation tactics that have been shown to be effective for women (Babcock
& Laschever, 2008).
The best way to close the gender pay gap is to make salaries public.
58% SAY THEY DON’T
HAVE THE INFORMATION
AND KNOWLEDGE TO
NEGOTIATE SUCCESSFULLY.
— LEVO 2015 SURVEY
301

Speak up
Outlaw
Some celebrities are being vocal about equal pay.
IT’S OUR
TIME TO HAVE
WAGE EQUALITY
ONCE AND FOR ALL
AND EQUAL RIGHTS
FOR WOMEN
IN THE UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA.
— Patricia Arquette
Some countries are moving towards transparency.
In the UK, companies employing more
than 250 people will have 12 months to
meet a deadline to publish their gender pay
gap figures.
In March 2017, Iceland just made history
by becoming the first country in the world
to require companies to prove they pay their
employees equally regardless of gender.
The move came after a massive national
The Global Gender Gap Index
Iceland
Finland
Norway
Sweden
Rwanda
Ireland
Philippines
Slovenia
New Zealand
Nicaragua
protest in October 2016, in which thousands of Icelandic women left work at
2:38 p.m., a symbolic move that protested the country's 14% gender pay gap
by leaving their workplaces 14% earlier than usual.
The government has recently implemented the Equal Pay Standard. Every job
within a company is analyzed by looking at education, physical strain, mental
stress, and responsibility. Each job is then given a score. If there are two people
doing jobs with the same score but different pay, the lower paid person gets
a pay rise.
Companies who complete the process receive certification to prove that they
offer equal pay for work of equal value.
Global
Rank
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
Source: The Global Gender Gap Report 2016
302

Symbolic Claim
Quotas
Companies which facilitate maternity and paternity leave are better at
retaining talent. Some businesses charge women 78% of the price of the
products to make gender gap more visible.
November 10th marks Equal Pay Day: The day of
the year when women in UK are effectively
working for free for the rest of the year due to
the gender pay gap.
Before industrial society, men and women worked
together at home, or close to home. Responsibilities
were shared, but both participated. The industrial
production mode physically separated home from
work, and women had more difficulties reconciling
production and reproduction activities.
Things didn’t change after Sweden replaced maternity leave in 1974 with an
overall allotment of paid parental leave that could be shared however the mother
and father chose. Fathers who took time off were derisively nicknamed
velourman or velourpapa (velvet daddy) and derided for being unmanly. In 1974,
only 562 fathers claimed parental leave, about 0.5% of new fathers that year.
Good for children, good for parents, good for the economy.
Since women’s pay was at that time usually much lower than men's, couples
typically opted for the mother to stay at home with the child. But that decision
perpetuated the pay gap, as women continued to be “mommy-tracked,”
penalized for the possibility that they’d bear a child. Companies entrenched this
divide by looking down on fathers who did take parental leave.
So in 1995, the government rolled out “daddy leave.” It didn’t make paternity
leave mandatory, but couples lost a month of subsidized leave if the father took
less than a month off. That meant he could no longer transfer all of his leave to
his wife. The new policy also compensated fathers and mothers at 90% of their
wages, making it harder for fathers to turn down.
And it worked. Within a few years, more than four out of five fathers stayed at
303

Quotas
home. And when the government added another month to “daddy leave” in
2002, the amount of time they took off more than doubled. The government also
upped the reimbursement ceiling to make the package more attractive to
high-earning men.
One reason this works is that Sweden pays generous benefits for a relatively
short period of leave. The secret to keeping
mothers in the workforce lies not in giving
them more time off, but in getting more
fathers to stay at home instead.
AROUND NINE-TENTHS OF
SWEDISH MOTHERS RETURN
TO WORK AFTER CHILDBIRTH.
Losing workers to motherhood is not so great for the bottom line.
The longer the leave for fathers, the less time women take out from the
workforce. Strong parental leave policies reduce turnover, foster morale for
employers, and support workforce retention for employees. In California and
New Jersey, companies reported that paid maternity leave policies caused either
no change to their bottom line or even cut training and turnover costs.
Source: Quartz
304

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
305

As an employee
Learn to negotiate better.
Ask your colleagues how much they make.
Ask your company for salary transparency.
Read the book Women don’t ask.
If you are a role model, speak up.
Learn about your rights.
Ask for more.
Have a bottom, middle, and high number in mind while you’re
interviewing, so you’re not caught off-guard when an employer asks
about your salary history or what you’re hoping to make.
The easiest places for initial research: glassdoor.com and salary.com.
You can also connect with people who’ve been in the position before
and are now more senior. Ask them: “Given what you know about what I
do, what is the range I should be looking at?”
Bottom Number
Calculate your cost of living
and know what you absolutely need to
be making.
What is that number?
Middle Number
What is the reasonable going rate for
asimilar position in your geographical
location.
What do you expect?
Kim says about 90 percent of job offers
are at this rate.
High Number
What would you be thrilled with?
306

Say thank you but don’t accept immediately.
Give yourself a day or two to form a strategy for how you’re going to
handle the negotiation.
Here’s a sample script that Linda Babcock, author of How Can I Make
More Money, suggests:
“This is a really exciting opportunity. I want some time to think about it,
and can we discuss the specifics of the offer in a couple of days once
I've had some time to reflect upon it?”
Negotiating is a two-way street.
You may be thinking, ‘I’m so lucky to have this job!’ Remember, this job
is lucky to have you too.
Source: Lilyline. Washington Post.
As a manager.
As a manager, make negotiating a norm.
Review compensation to ensure that you are paying women and men
fairly and communicate to all members in your organization—especially
women—that it’s important for them to negotiate for themselves.
Research shows that women will negotiate at comparable rates to men
when given explicit permission to do so.
Evaluate performance fairly.
Male performance is often overestimated compared to female performance,
starting with mothers overestimating boys’ crawling ability and underestimating
girls’. This bias is even more pronounced when review criteria are unclear,
making individuals more likely to rely on gut feelings and personal inferences.
Over time, even small deviations in performance evaluation have a significant
impact on women’s careers. This difference in the perceived performance of
men and women also helps explain why women are hired and promoted based
on what they have already accomplished, while men are hired and promoted
based on their potential.
307

Look for opportunities for gender-blind evaluations in hiring.
When evaluating performance, make sure managers are aware of gender
bias.
Be specific about what constitutes excellent performance, and make
sure goals are set in advance, understood, and measurable.
Ask managers to explain the reasons for their evaluations — and do the
same for yourself.
When people are accountable for their decisions, they are more
motivated to think through them carefully.
Source: Lean in. Tips for Managers.
As a company
Introduce equal paternity and maternity leave.
Release your salary data. Be transparent.
Work on your unconscious bias.
Facilitate flexible working hours for all.
Actively reintegrate mothers and fathers when they finish leave.
As a parent
Encourage your children to study non-stereotypical careers.
Encourage your children to negotiate their salary and to believe in their
worth.
Ensure that men and boys in your household are actually doing 50% of
the unpaid care work.
308

As a citizen
Urge your elected officials to act on Equal Pay Day.
Host an “unequal” bake sale or (un)happy hour where men pay full price
while women get a 21% discount (since the gender pay gap is 21%).
Launch an equal pay media blitz. Write and submit letters to the editor
and op-eds to a variety of publications in your community to gain broad
coverage on Equal Pay Day.
Bring salary negotiation workshops to your community/campus.
Influence employers and governments. There are more ways to make
your voice heard than ever before—letters to your legislators and local
papers, blogs, and tweets are just a few examples..
309

Equal pay
for
Equal Work
310

Chapter 12 – Science and Technology
311

THE PROBLEM:
BROGRAMMERS
ARE SHAPING
THE FUTURE
312

Women comprise half the workforce but less than
25% of STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering and
Math) jobs.
55%
of Twitter and Facebook users
in the US are women but only
5%
of US tech startups are
owned by women.
Less than
7%
of tech positions
in Europe are
filled by women.
Source: The Guardian
Worldwide, women are a
minority within
tech leadership
18%
in North America
13%
in South America
11%
in Asia
Silicon Valley is still a man’s world.
The tech industry has a reputation for being a
boys’ club, and recent diversity reports from
several companies illustrate how men
dominate their global workforces.
In Apple, Facebook, Google, Twitter, or Yahoo,
male employees represent 70% of the
workforce.
Just have a look at the line at the male restrooms (for once) at developers’
conferences!
Even the Nobel Prizes have been
awarded to 825 men and 49
women so far.

Throughout history, female scientists whose work should have been
recognized by the Nobel Prize committee have been denied that honor
because their work was stolen by their male co-researchers.
The denial of female scientists contributions in research is called the Matilda
effect after the suffragist and abolitionist Matilda Josyn Gage who wrote Woman
As Inventor.
For example, male scientists more often cite the publications of male authors
than of female authors.
The gender gap in computing is getting worse and has severe implications
for the economy and the next generation of women.
Why?
REASON #1:
EARLY AGE GENDER
STEREROTYPES
A study by Verizon found that by age 6 girls are less likely than boys to
think that they can be brilliant.
Decades before they choose a career, girls think being “really, really smart” is for
boys. From an early age, the gender stereotype of boys being better at science
and maths discourages girls from studying STEM subjects.
According to the OECD, despite similar performances in the OECD’s science
test, more boys consider a STEM career than girls.
In the US, 66% of 4th grade girls reported they like science and math, but only
18% of college engineering majors are female. Only 14% of teenage girls want to
become a scientist.
Source: Verizon. Inspire Her Mind.
314

REASON #2:
LACK OF TALENT
In the EU, only 11% of STEM graduates are women.
Although women receive 36% of STEM Ph.D.s, they make up 18% of full
professors in science and engineering.
This means that employers have a gender biased talent pool to recruit from.
And the numbers are dropping!
REASON #3:
UNCONCIOUS BIAS
We receive 11 million bits of information every moment.
We can only conciously process 40 bits.
Unconsciously, we tend to like people who look like
us, think like us, and come from similar backgrounds.
YOU
are biased
So am I
Beliefs and values gained from family, culture, and a
lifetime of experiences heavily influence how we view
and evaluate others.
It matters
These thought patterns, assumptions, and interpretations – or biases – that we
have built up over time help us to process information quickly and efficiently.
Source: Unconscious Bias @ Work | Google Ventures
315

The Implicit Association Test (IAT) helps to detect our automatic
associations.
The following study was conducted at Yale.
About 75% of people who have taken
the IAT online complete the test faster
when white faces are shown
alongside pleasant words, when male
words are shown alongside pleasant
words, when male words are shown
alongside career terms, and when
women are sorted with liberal arts
studies, not science and tech.
All of the professors received the same one-page summary.
Half of the fictitious applicants were named John, and the other half were
named Jennifer.
On a scale of 1 to 7, with 7 being highest, professors gave John an average
score of 4.0 for competence and Jennifer 3.3.
John was also seen more favorably as someone they might hire for their
laboratory or be willing to mentor.
Female professors were just as biased against women students as their male
colleagues.
Hiring managers tend to recruit those who are culturally similar to them. When
this is applied to the tech world, it’s easy to see how a group of male friends will
recruit other males when expanding a startup.
And the recent scandal at Google shows that, despite investing in training on
unconscious bias to improve the company culture, many still believe “women are
biologically inferior in terms of technical skills.”
The study "Elephant in the Valley" gives great insight on the reality of
unconscious bias in Silicon Valley.
It is difficult for women in tech to strike the right balance without being seen
as too meek or too harsh.
316

47% have been asked to do lower-level tasks that male colleagues are not
asked to do (e.g., note-taking, ordering food, etc.).
84% have been told they are too aggressive (with half hearing that on multiple
occasions).
66% felt excluded from key social/networking opportunities because of
gender.
90% witnessed sexist behavior at company offsites and/or industry
conferences.
88% have experienced clients/colleagues address questions to male peers
that should have been addressed to them.
75% were asked about family life, marital status and children in interviews.
According to Women Who Code these are the major career hurdles
for female professionals in the tech world.
Lack of opportunities for advancement
Lack of female role models
Lack of mentorship at work
Lack of work-life balance
Pay gap compared to male colleagues
Lack of training resources
Lack of networking opportunities
Hostile macho culture
Sexual harassment at work
TECHNOLOGY IS A POWERFUL
TOOL FOR CHANGING THE
WORLD, ONE THAT IS
POTENTIALLY EQUALLY
AVAILABLE TO PEOPLE OF
ANY GENDER, ETHNICITY OR
BACKGROUND.
— Alaina Percival,
CEO and Board Chair of Women Who Code
REASON #4:
IN-GROUP FAVORITISM CAN
BE EXTREMELY HOSTILE
60% of women in tech reported unwanted sexual advances.
65% of women who report unwanted sexual advances had received advances
from a superior, with half receiving advances more than once.
1 in 3 have felt afraid of their personal safety because of work related
circumstances.
39% of those harassed did nothing because they thought it would negatively
impact their career.
60% who reported sexual harassment were dissatisfied with the course of
action.
Source: Elephant in the Valley
317

According to "The Athena Factor" by the Harvard Business Review, 41% of
women in tech leave the industry, compared with 17% of men.
The widespread sexism
and sexual harassment
is pointed out for the
first time.
Why is this a serious issue?
Because of the loss of tremendous opportunities!
By 2020, there will be 1.4 million jobs available in computing-related fields. US
graduates are on track to fill 29% of those jobs. Women are on track to fill just
3%.
THE FUTURE IS IN CODE AND I WANT
WOMEN TO WRITE IT.
— Kathryn Parsons, Cofounder of Decoded
Coding is still the most important skill of the future.
80% of jobs in the next decade will require technological skills.
Also because the lack of female perspective in science can have dramatic
consequences.
318

Once again, in medical trials, male experience is perceived as universal.
Women’s lives are being put at risk because drug companies don’t include
them in drugs trials. So potential side effects are not exposed until drugs hit
the shelves and it might be too late.
It is urgent to include more women in science to bring their own perspective!
Example 1:
Heart attack symptoms
differ in men and women.
Example 2:
Freezing in the office?
It's because air conditioning
standards are sexist.
We’ve all seen the movie scenes where a
man gasps, clutches his chest, and falls to
the ground. In reality, a heart attack victim
could easily be a woman, and the scene
may not be that dramatic.
“Although men and women can
experience chest pressure that feels like
an elephant sitting across the chest,
women can experience a heart attack
without chest pressure,” said Nieca
Goldberg, M.D., Medical Director for the
Joan H. Tisch Center for Women's Health
at NYU’s Langone Medical Center and an
American Heart Association volunteer.
“Instead they may experience shortness of
breath, pressure or pain in the lower chest
or upper abdomen, dizziness, lightheadedness
or fainting, upper back pressure or
extreme fatigue.”
Even when the signs are subtle, the
consequences can be deadly, especially if
the victim doesn’t get help right away. But
we only know male heart attack
symptoms.
When researchers tested young women
performing light office work while
dressed in a t-shirt and tracksuit
bottoms, they discovered that their
optimum temperature was 75F (24.5C).
Men, in contrast, were happiest at 71F
(22C).
Current air conditioning standards are
derived from research conducted in the
1960s which was based on the resting
metabolic rate of 154-lb, 40-year-old
man.
Men typically have more heat-generating
muscle than women, so they feel comfortable
at cooler temperatures. Metabolic
rate also decreases with age, which
means that an older workforce is likely to
need higher office temperatures.
The office A/C may be biased toward
temperatures that are more comfortable
for men.
Source: Telegraph
Source: American Heart Association
319

Artificial Intelligence will shape our future.
A McKinsey & Company study found that 30% of tasks in 60% of occupations
could be computerized. Last year, the Bank of England’s chief economist said
that 80 million US and 15 million UK jobs might be taken over by robots.
Machines learn prejudice in language. And they are as sexist and racist as the
people programming them.
So technologies may perpetuate and even spread cultural stereotypes to
a massive scale if we don’t intervene now.
WE’VE HEARD A LOT
ABOUT THE INTERNET
OF THINGS – I THINK
WE NEED AN
INTERNET
OF WOMEN.
— Christine Lagarde, IMF Managing Director
320

SOME
SOLUTIONS
321

Specific Communities Data Mining Toolkit Tech 4 Good
Anita Borg Institute connects, inspires,
and guides women in computing and
organizations.
The Institute views technology innovation
as a strategic imperative. They believe
technology innovation powers the global
economy and that women are crucial to
building technology the world needs.
You can’t improve what you can’t measure.
Transparency is the first step in changing the
situation. The project Open Diversity Data allows
you to ask companies to publish their diversity data.
Many companies implement training to
challenge unconscious bias.
Google has been running a Busting Bias workshop across its departments.
You can download the toolkit online.
Different apps have appeared to better spot unconscious bias.
Textio uses data and machine learning to scan job postings and flag phrases
that are likely to repel women.
GapJumpers hides resumes and other identifying information, including gender,
until job applicants perform a test devised to assess their skills.
Blendoor lets job candidates and recruiters check each other out: Candidates
can see how a company rates on diversity; recruiters can see a person’s skills,
education, and work history, but not his or her race, age, and gender.
Interviewing.io offers a free platform that lets engineers do mock technical
interviews, giving women (and anyone else who might feel out of place) a chance
to practice. It also has software that companies can use to mask applicants’

Toolkit Tech 4 Good New Skill
voices during actual interviews.
Paradigm is a data-driven company that draws on behavioral science research
to design effective diversity and inclusion strategies.
Unbias.io is a Google Chrome extension that removes faces and names from
LinkedIn profiles to reduce the effects of unconscious bias in recruiting.
Unitive is a hiring platform that helps companies create job postings and
structure job interviews to focus on skills instead of stereotypes.
Project Include has been founded by Ellen Pao, and its mission is to give
everyone a fair chance to succeed in tech. They are a nonprofit that uses data
and advocacy to accelerate diversity and inclusion solutions in the tech industry.
Their website offers an exhaustive list of advice and tips for companies willing to
take inclusion seriously.
Many organizations teach girls how to code.
Code to Inspire strengthens, inspires, and
empowers women in Afghanistan through
technology education.
Girl Develop It is a nonprofit organization
that provides affordable opportunities for
women interested in learning web and
software development.
323

Tech 4 Good Specific Communities New Heroes
Dot is an animated children's television series challenging traditional
stereotypes.
Young, tech-savvy Dot is well-versed in
technology and has a strong curiosity and thirst
for knowledge. She uses electronic devices to
help her learn, create, and explore. Dot gets her
passion for technology from her techie mother,
who develops apps. Dot's father loves
woodworking and prefers not to betethered to electronics. The animated series
is based on achildren's book written by technology advocate Randi Zuckerberg,
who calls the titular character "relatable," and says she is, "that friend we all have
who is energetic, adventurous and imaginative."
Stemettes is an award-winning social
enterprise working across the UK &
Ireland and beyond to inspire and support
young women to pursue STEM (Science,
Technology, Engineering, and Math).
In New York, 1000 Girls, 1000 Futures is a
groundbreaking initiative designed to
engage young women interested in
science, technology, engineering, and
math, and advance their pursuit of STEM
careers through mentoring and
21st-century skills development.
TechWomen empowers, connects, and supports the next generation of women
leaders in STEM from Africa, Central and South Asia, and the Middle East by
providing them the access and opportunity needed to advance their careers,
pursue their dreams, and inspire women and girls in their communities.
In Australia, Robogals is a student-run organization that inspires and empowers
young women to consider studying engineering and related fields.
324

New Heroes
WE NEED TO PORTRAY NEW ROLE MODELS
Women in tech careers yearn for female
role models and flexibility in the workplace.
Did you know that the first programmer was
actually a woman?
PROGRAMMING
BEFORE IT WAS COOL
Source: Pluralsight. Women Who Code.
Ada Lovelace was an English mathematician who was the first to recognise that
computers had applications beyond pure calculations. As a result, she is
regarded as the first computer programmer.
It is time to celebrate women scientists and inventors.
When girls are shown what engineers do, 76% of them become interested in
engineering.
Grace Hopper was a computer scientist and US Navy Admiral. She was the first
to use the term “debugging” for fixing computer problems. Hopper developed
the first working compiler and developed COBOL, a programming language still
in use today.
The movie Hidden Figures tells the story of African-American female
mathematicians who worked at the National Aeronautics and Space
Administration (NASA) during the Space Race.
Rana El-Kaliouby (born 1978) is an Egyptian-born American computer scientist
and entrepreneur. She focuses on facial expression recognition research, which

New Heroes
Counter Storytelling
is a subset of facial recognition designed to identify the emotion being
expressed by the face.
The blog Women Are Boring is filled with thought-provoking research done by
women, in every field from arts and politics, to science and technology.
Elise Andrew is a British blogger and science communicator, founder of
I Fucking Love Science (IFLS), a website and Facebook page on popular
science.
We need to learn from the Middle East…
Where 30-70% of the enrollees in computer science programs are women.
And 35% of tech entrepreneurs are women, a surprising statistic, considering
the global norm of 10%.
Microsoft introduced a campaign themed
Make What's Next to coincide with
International Women's Day, part of an
effort to encourage girls to enter tech
fields.
Launched in 2013, She Started It is a
feature-length documentary film on
women tech entrepreneurs that highlights
successful role models for young women.
The film is shot on locations all over the world,
from Silicon Valley and New York to Europe
and Vietnam. It is the first film to show the
behind-the-scenes of running a tech startup
as a young woman.
Dream, Girl is a documentary showcasing
the stories of inspiring and ambitious
female entrepreneurs.
326

Visualize
Specific Communities
With technical women more visible, girls can picture themselves as future
techies.
We need to witness new examples, like when Mark Zuckerberg took weeks
of paternity leave.
In France, Challenges published a photo series of startup founders to illustrate
France's new tech generation. Every startup featured was all-male. Female
startup founders were so upset that they gathered top women in the French tech
world to take the same photo series and invited the media to portray a more
balanced view of reality.
New spaces are appearing, such as the first coworking space for female-founded
startups in Sydney or an all-women hackerspace in San Francisco.
More and more women’s tech events and communities exist.
We need to promote the women in tech
around us.
Even the smallest signs matter.
More than 90% of the world’s online
population uses emojis. While there’s a
huge range of emojis, there aren’t many
that highlight the diversity of women’s
careers, or that empower young girls.
But new professional emojis have just
been added in both male and female
options, and with a range of skin tones.
327

And we can imagine a feminist internet which:
develops more open source tools and platforms.
amplifies alternative and diverse narratives of women’s lived realities.
regulates surveillance practices.
secures a safe, healthy, and informative internet for children and young
people.
is completely free from online or tech-related violence.
THE FUTURE OF TECH IS
NOT A PRODUCT, IT’S PEOPLE
Source: Anita Borg Institute.
328

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
329

Become an ally.
Hack your own unconscious bias.
Hold yourself accountable:
– Question your first impressions.
– Justify your decisions.
– Ask for feedback.
Faced with sexist behaviour, point it out:
– Share why it matters to you.
– Ask the speaker to take another perspective.
Hold others accountable:
– Call out bias.
– Make others justify decisions.
– Make decisions collectively.
Learn to code.
Speak up.
Suggest women or members of underrepresented groups to be
speakers or panelists at events you attend.
Set up your own website or blog.
Join or donate to feminist hackerspaces.
Nominate impressive women in tech around you.
330

Ask your employer to review their hiring process and HR practices.
Ask your employer to run unconscious bias training and only to sponsor
events with anti-harassment policies.
Start your own company or activist group making a change for women in
technology.
Watch movies and read books about female scientists or inventors.
Buy science/construction toys for your daughter.
Introduce your daughter to female professionals in the tech field and show
her their daily jobs.
Bring your daughter to a makers fair.
331

332

Chapter 13 – Sex
333

THE PROBLEM:
SEX IS TABOO
334

Sex is taboo. As a consequence, we don’t know anything about it.
In France, according to Haut Conseil à l'Egalité,
1 out 4 teenage girls does not know she has a clitoris.
Very few countries provide positive or neutral sex
education, if they provide any sex education at all.
In the US, only 22 states require that public schools
teach sex education but it does not need to be medically accurate or it must
include information on abstinence but not on contraception.
And the consequences are clear in terms of the rate of teen pregnancy and
sexually-transmitted diseases (STDs).
IGNORANCE LEADS TO LINGERING MYTHS
Religions around the world have convinced women that their body is dirty
and that they should be ashamed of it.
The majority of women still use euphemisms to describe their menstrual cycle.
The Swedish may say, “Lingonveckan,” which means “lingonberry week” and
the German say “Erdbeerwoche,” which means “strawberry week.” Some
French even say, “Les Anglais ont débarqué,” which means “the English have
landed.”
A few myths about periods.
In Afghanistan, it is believed that showering during your period will cause
infertility.
In rural parts of Nepal, girls are literally isolated during their periods and
cannot participate in class.
In Japan, women can’t prepare sushi while menstruating because they have
an “imbalance in taste.”
Men will become sick if touched by an “unclean” woman in India or Nepal.
Women menstruating cannot enter holy temples in Indonesia.
Women can’t touch a pickle in India or the pickle will rot.
And many, many more…
Source: 8 myths about periods. Meghan Werft. Al Jazeera.

And massive global consequences.
UNESCO estimates that 1 in 10 African girls, for example, misses at least one
day of school a month, leading to a higher drop-out rate.
A survey in India found nearly 25% of girls drop out of school permanently
when they reach puberty because they have no toilet at school.
AND THE MYTHS ARE NOT ONLY ABOUT PERIODS
MYTH #1:
MEN’S SEXUAL
ENERGY IS SO
STRONG THAT IT
CANNOT BE
RESTRAINED
Men are sexual.
They have a strong irrepressible drive.
They are obsessed with sex.
They think about it all the time.
They are always up for it.
And this desire cannot be restrained.
That is why women have to behave.
MYTH #2:
WOMEN HAVE A
LOWER SEXUAL
DRIVE THAN
MEN
MYTH #3:
A SEXUALLY FREE
WOMAN IS A
DANGER TO
SOCIETY
A woman is portrayed as either a saint or a whore.
Coming from a fear-driven desire of men to control female
sexuality and reproduction.
In primitive societies, men regarded women with the same
dread they felt toward the natural world. The core of the natural
world was the female womb, from which newborn human life
emerged in a gush of blood.
336

One expression of this fear has been the centuries of witch-hunting, a
man-made tool for women’s oppression.
Women who seemed most independent from patriarchal norms – especially
elderly women living outside the parameters of the patriarchal family – were
most vulnerable to accusations of witchcraft.
Between 1400 and 1775, 100,000 people were prosecuted for witchcraft, and
at least 50,000 were sentenced to death.
75-80% of those accused and convicted of witchcraft in early modern Europe
were female.
Steven Katz, author of the Holocaust in Historical Context, shows how
women have been targeted in a manner similar to Jews: The witch hunts can
be viewed as a case of "genderized mass murder.”
THE ANXIETY
IS PART OF
THE MASCULINE
STRUCTURE.
FEMALE
PLEASURE, 100%
SUPERIOR TO
MALE ONE,
OVERWHELMS
HIM COMPLETELY.
— Michel Cazenave
The vast literature about witch hunting is filled with nightmares of
castration and lost virility.
The trauma of this genocide of free women and of wise old women is still part of
our collective memories. So we know, deep down, that being free with our body
and our sexuality comes at a terrible price.
WE ARE THE GRAND DAUGHTERS
OF THE WITCHES YOU COULD NOT BURN
Today, we do not burn women anymore, but we shame them if they behave
“like sluts.” 337

Women are constantly shamed about their sexuality.
THE
PERSONAL
IS
POLITICAL
DOES MY SEXYNESS
UPSET YOU?
DOES IT COME
AS A SURPRISE
THAT I DANCE
LIKE I’VE GOT
DIAMONDS AT
THE MEETING OF
MY THIGHS?
— Maya Angelou
LET’S BUST THOSE MYTHS
Boys feel pressured to have sexual activity or to pretend to have sexual
activity to belong.
Men do not think about sex every seven seconds, study claims:
"Many, many men – about one in five – have such low sexual desire they’d rather
do almost anything else than have sex."
“In fact, almost 30% of women say they have more interest in sex than their
partner has."
Women also have strong sexual desire.
When it comes to the craving for sexual variety, research by
Bergner suggests that women may be "even less well-suited
for monogamy than men."
Sex is the way in which intimacy can be experienced.
A recent article by psychologist Steven Bearman argues that men’s addiction
to sex is the result of the lack of affection and intimacy with other men (and
perhaps women) in their lives.
For Bearman, sex addiction and pornography addiction are the ways in which
men try to find closeness with others.
338

Nature wants all of us enrolled in reproducing the species.
Women can become disinterested in sex as a result of childhood abuse, rape,
social conditioning, unaddressed relationship issues, unskilled lovemaking or
demands of juggling children and work, but these all represent deviations from
her inherent nature.
Women are socialized to channel their erotic yearnings into romantic fantasy
rather than genital imagery, but when freed of sex-negative conditioning and
social judgments, women desire erotic connection.
When women are initiated into the pleasures of sex with a lover who is sensitive,
considerate, skilled, and receptive to guidance, their sexual potential is
awakened, and their interest in sex equals or exceeds the interest of most
men.
BUT THESE MYTHS AND STEREOTYPES STILL
CONDITION OUR SEXUAL LIVES
This belief in irrepressible male desire has dramatic consequences on the
lives of millions of young boys and girls.
It legitimizes unfaithfulness, prostitution, porn, and even assault as a lesser evil.
At this moment, there are 40 million prostitutes at work.
Three quarters of them are between the ages of 13 and 25 and 80% of them are
female.
Female Prostitutes
80%
Male
Studies reveal 1 in 10 men in the world have purchased a prostitute.
This demand spurs
the $58 billion sex trafficking
industry.
Sex trafficking is the fastest
growing criminal industry in the
world.
Source: findingjustice.org/prostitution-statistics
Sex Trafficking
$58 Billion
Cocaine
$70 Billion
Illegal Arms Trade
$10 Billion
339

Child sexual abuse is far more prevalent than we realize.
One in 10 children will be sexually abused before age 18.
25% of girls and 15% of boys in the US, EU, and Canada will experience sexual
abuse.
60% of these girls and boys do not receive any type of help.
Source: Vicky Bernadet Foundation, Spain (fbernadet.org)
Men still have control over women’s bodies.
Remember Donald Trump cutting abortion funding surrounded by men.
And especially since most of our
sex education is now done through
porn.
Including condoning genital
mutilation.
340

A study of 50 of the most popular pornographic videos found that 88% of
scenes included physical aggression and 48% of scenes included verbal
aggression.
The researchers observed a total of 3,376 aggressive acts, including gagging
in 54% of scenes, choking in 27% of scenes, and spanking in 75% of scenes.
They also found that the aggression was overwhelmingly – in 94% of incidents
– directed towards women.
Not only that; in almost every instance, women were portrayed as though they
either didn’t mind or liked the aggression.
Source: Porn as sex education: a cultural influence we can no longer ignore. Maree Crabbe. The Guardian.
Women’s bodies are available and violable.
It doesn’t take a great awareness of cultural theory to grasp the social meaning
of images of women being repeatedly penetrated in every orifice to a chorus of
“slut,” “bitch,” and “whore.”
Porn makes inequality sexually arousing.
The website Fight the new drug explains how pornography affects the
brain, the heart, and the world.
After being exposed to pornography, men reported being less satisfied with their
partners’ physical appearance, sexual performance, and level of affection, and
they expressed greater desire for sex without emotional involvement.
Among the effects of the use of pornography are an increased negative attitude
toward women, decreased empathy for victims of sexual violence, and an
increase in dominating and sexually imposing behavior.
A meta-analysis of 33 studies found that exposure to either nonviolent or violent
porn increased behavioral aggression, including both violent fantasies and actual
violent assaults.
Source: Fight the New Drug
*Fight the New Drug is a non-religious, non-political organization that exists to provide individuals the opportunity
to make an informed decision regarding pornography by raising awareness on its harmful effects using only
science, facts, and personal accounts.
341

Some feminist movements are openly anti-porn and consider it cultural
violence more than sexual fantasy.
In her essay, Anti-Porn: The Resurgence of Anti-Pornographic Feminism,
Julia Long explains how anti-porn feminism is back.
Proving that porn desensitizes and actually limits our sexual freedom, Dines
argues its omnipresence is a public health concern we can no longer ignore in
PornLand: How Porn Has Hijacked Our Sexuality.
Especially since most porn only portrays sex and pleasure through the
male gaze.
The main goal of porn is to feature a male’s ejaculation, their partners pleasure
is secondary.
This leads to less satisfactory sexual experiences for women.
Source: Telegraph
TALKING ABOUT THE ORGASM GAP
90%
of men achieve orgasms
during sex, while only
65%
of women do.
The gap between men’s and women’s frequency of orgasm is impacted by
social forces that privilege male pleasure.
Paula England, a sociology professor at Stanford University said, “The orgasm
gap is an inequity that’s as serious as the pay gap, and it’s producing a rampant
culture of sexual asymmetry.”
In same-sex encounters, the orgasm gap disappears!
342

For three years, author Peggy Orenstein
interviewed girls aged 15 to 20 about their attitudes
toward and experiences with sex. She discusses
the pleasure that's largely missing from their sexual
encounters and calls on us to close the "orgasm
gap" by talking candidly with our girls from an early
age about sex, bodies, pleasure, and intimacy.
Psychoanalysts have played an important role in that conditioning.
When Sigmund Freud argued that a clitoral orgasm was adolescent and that the
vagina was the fountain of the more “mature” orgasm, that theory definitely
fueled the orgasm gap.
“Stimulation of the clitoris is what gives a woman an orgasm. It’s the center of
orgasmic function,” says Dr. Lloyd. “The clitoris is the homologue of the
penis—they have the same tissue. In embryos, the same organ that turns into
the penis, turns into a clitoris."
Sexual assymetry comes from hook-up culture and lack of communication and
education.
Culturally, we overvalue penetrative sex.
Lesbian vs. straight sex: Lesbian women have significantly more orgasms than
straight women. For men, the orgasm rate doesn’t vary with sexual orientation.
Women alone vs. with a partner: Women have more orgasms when they
masturbate than when they are with a partner. In a study with 800 college
women, 39% of women said they always orgasm during masturbation, while 6%
said they always orgasm during sex with a partner.
Roughly 75% of women can never reach orgasm from penetrative sex
alone.
Media shows us images of women having mind-blowing orgasms from
intercourse alone.
Evidence can also be found in the language.
We use the words sex and intercourse synonymously, and we relegate clitoral
stimulation to “foreplay.”
We commonly mislabel women’s genitals by the one part (the vagina) that

gives men, but not women, reliable orgasms.
We have countless nicknames for the penis, but few for the clitoris.
Sex education generally doesn’t focus on pleasure.
We have a double standard that judges women more harshly than men for
casual sex.
Most of us have little training in sexual communication, yet good sexual communication
is key when it comes to female orgasms. Women differ in terms of
what they need to orgasm, and what one woman needs to orgasm can vary
from one encounter to another.
Many women are plagued by body image self-consciousness during sex and
it’s pretty much impossible to have an orgasm while worrying that you look fat
or holding your stomach in.
Finally, reaching orgasm requires a complete immersion in the sensations of
the moment—or mindfulness—and few of us have mastered this skill in our
daily lives, let alone our sex lives.
And women still weigh the
burden of birth control
Is birth control a female responsibility?
“Men typically do not have to dedicate time and energy to contraceptive care, or
pay out of pocket for the usually expensive and sometimes frequent (often
monthly, or at least four times a year) supply of contraceptives…”, says Lisa
Campo-Engelstein from “Science Progress.”
But research has still not found an efficient birth control pill for men.
Attempts by pharmaceutical companies to
develop male-centered contraceptive drugs and
injections have largely been abandoned due to
concerns about side-effects and the belief that
there is no market.
Talking about double standards…
344

SOME
SOLUTIONS
345

Visualize
Toolkit
FEMEN is an international women’s movement of brave topless female
activists painted with slogans and crowned with flowers.
Manifesto:
“In the beginning, there was the body, feeling of the woman’s body, feeling of joy
because it is so light and free. Then there was injustice, so sharp that you feel it
with your body, it immobilizes the body, hinders its movements, and then you
find yourself your body’s hostage. And so you turn your body against this
injustice, mobilizing every body’s cell to struggle against the patriarchy and
humiliation.
You tell the world:
Our God is a Woman!
Our Mission is Protest!
Our Weapon are bare breasts!
And so FEMEN is born and sextremism is set off.”
Provocation is powerful.
The PussyHat is a symbol of support and
solidarity for women's rights and political
resistance.
Thousands of women wore pink “pussy hats” the
day after Trump's inauguration.
Many innovative sex education programs flourish around the world.
Open, honest, and sex-positive, the
Love Matters program is the global
leader in delivering information and
media on safe and satisfying sex to
18-30-year-olds in geographic areas
where this information can be taboo.
346

New Skill
Even Pornhub has launched a
new sex ed site!
Laci Green is an American YouTube
personality, video blogger, sex
educator, and activist. She has hosted
online sex education content on behalf
of Planned Parenthood and Discovery
News.
In France, “Parlons peu, parlons cul” is a
fun sex education web series
challenging entrenched taboos.
Gynopedia is an open resource wiki for sexual, reproductive and women's
health care across the globe.
In her TED Talk “The laws that sex workers really want,” activist Juno Mac
explains four legal models that are being used around the world to help sex
workers. She discusses the model that she believes will work best to keep sex
workers safe and offer greater self-determination.
In a brave talk called “The price of shame,” Monica Lewinski takes a hard look at
our online culture of humiliation and asks for a different way.
347

Reverse Tech 4 Good Gaming
Reversing situations is always powerful.
MAKE LOVE, NOT PORN
The activist Cindy Gallop launched
MakeLoveNotPorn to squash the myths of
hardcore pornography and to begin a dialog
around how real people have sex.
SOME INITIATIVES ALSO WORK TO BREAK THE
TABOO ON MENSTRUATION
Menstrupedia Comic is a complete
guide on periods designed by Menstrupedia
that is in use by more than 30
schools across India. The books are
being distributed in other countries like
Nepal, South America, and Nigeria.
The Period Game is designed to teach
participants about what is happening
within the female body and how to “go
with the flow.”
It utilizes abstracted representations of the
female reproductive system, PMS symptoms,
and various forms of sanitary protection to
introduce players to these ideas.
348

Tech 4 Good
Others are developing products adapted to women’s needs.
THINX launched period-proof underwear that
protects you from leaks and keeps you feeling dry.
And they are famous for their provocative
communication.
Ruby Cup is a healthier, more sustainable,
cost-effective, and eco-friendly alternative
to pads and tampons. Made from 100%
soft medical-grade silicone, the menstrual
cup is safe, comfortable, and hygienic.
GIRLS ARE LIKE SUPERHEROES,
WHO ELSE COULD BLEED FOR FIVE
DAYS AND NOT DIE?
MANY PROJECTS LEVERAGE FEM TECH
Glow is the world's best period and
ovulation tracker and fertility calendar
app.
Eve by Glow is a savvy period tracker and sex app for women who want to
take control of their health and sex lives.
Clue is designed to make tracking your fertility
accurate, fast, and friendly.

Tech 4 Good
New Products
The Boyfriend Log is the first ever app
for tracking the health of any, or
multiple, relationships.
Some apps offer dating for feminists.
Bumble, often described as the feminist dating app, was
created by Whitney Wolfe, a co-founder of Tinder, after she
left the company. What makes it different from other dating
apps? Women do the talking.
And many more: Siren, Vina, Wyldfire, The League, Whim.
Source: Women.com, Ali Segel
AND WOMEN ARE NOW DEVELOPING
THEIR OWN SEX TOYS
Dame Products was founded by smart
women to make phenomenal sex toys.
Pulse is an innovative personal lubricant
dispenser that delivers your choice of
water or silicone-based lubricants
pre-warmed and mess free.
350

But the most important development is that women are now reclaiming
their own sexuality.
Sex positivity is “an attitude towards human sexuality
that regards all consensual sexual activities as
fundamentally healthy and pleasurable, encouraging
sexual pleasure and experimentation.”
IT IS MY OBSERVATION
THE MOST INNOVATIVE,
DISRUPTIVE THINGS IN
SEX TECH TODAY
ARE COMING FROM WOMEN.
BECAUSE WE ARE
FINALLY OWNING
OUR SEXUALITY.
AND FINDING REALLY
INNOVATIVE WAYS TO
LEVERAGE IT. AS I LIKE
TO SAY, WOMEN
CHALLENGE THE STATUS
QUO BECAUSE THEY
ARE NEVER IT.
— Cindy Gallop
Reclaiming the act of loving your partner and making babies as positive
and natural.
Sex-Negative
Sex is bad,
dirty, wrong,
and sinful.
Sex-Positive
Sex is good,
healthy, and
natural.
The Future of Sex Podcast hosted by
Bryony Cole explores the evolving
worlds of sex and tech.
SEX-POSITIVE
FEMINISM EMBRACES
THE ENTIRE RANGE
OF HUMAN
SEXUALITY AND IS
BASED ON THE
IDEA THAT
SEXUAL FREEDOM
IS AN ESSENTIAL
COMPONENT OF
WOMEN’S FREEDOM.
— Madison Young
In Paris, you can attend booty therapy
classes to learn how to feel proud of your
own body.
351

Specific Communities
New Skill
Or join the Skirt Club, an underground
community for girls who play with girls…
Esther Perel is a
Belgian psychotherapist
notable for exploring the
tension between the need
for security and the need for
freedom in human
relationships.
Women are lucky, they get
to have the only organ in the
human body dedicated
exclusively for pleasure: the
clitoris! In this humorous
and instructive animated
documentary, learn more
about this unrecognized
anatomy and its unknown
herstory.
You can learn orgasmic meditation.
Orgasmic Meditation is a practice that combines the power and attention of
meditation with the deeply human, deeply felt, and connected experience of
orgasm.
YOU CAN ALSO DISCOVER FEMINIST PORN
352

Counter Storytelling
New Skill
Feminist porn requirements according to the Feminist Porn Awards (FPA):
Women involved in the production/conception/direction.
Depicts real female pleasure/orgasms and agency for all performers,
especially women.
More diverse representation of races, genders, sexualities, etc.
Somehow challenges mainstream porn tropes, expands the boundaries of
sexual representation on film.
Source: goodforher.com/feminist_porn_awards
Good For Her, Toronto’s premiere sex
and sexuality shop, launched the Feminist
Porn Awards screening the most
creative, expressive, diverse, and erotic
pornography the industry has to offer.
As porn star and performance artist Annie Sprinkle famously said, “The answer
to bad porn isn’t no porn… it’s to try and make better porn!”
Some websites help us to understand more about women’s pleasure.
OMGYES is a modern hands-on exploration of women’s sexual pleasure based
on new research and using touchscreen simulations so you can try it all yourself.
We finally have the openness and research to take a clear-headed look at the
many nuances of women’s sexual pleasure. The research combines the wisdom
of 2,000 women, ages 18-95, revealing techniques that hadn't even been named
yet.
353

Specific Communities
The Pleasure Project offers a global mapping of
people and resources who promote pleasure and
sexy safe sex in the public health world.
New communities explore alternative relationships.
In Portugal, the Tamera community researches and implements new social
structures that support relationships based on solidarity between man and
woman.
It is a political act to liberate ourselves from fear/guilt/shame around love and
sexuality.
According to Tamera, blocked and repressed sexual energy is the root of
violence.
Sexuality is the highest form of energy for humans that we know of. It must no
longer be negated and vilified. It is the most sacred element of life.
Tamera's Terra Nova online course envisions a
radically positive post-capitalist society.
Burning Man is an annual gathering that
takes place at Black Rock City—a
temporary city erected in the Black
Rock Desert in Nevada.
The event is described as an experiment in community and art, influenced by ten
main principles: radical inclusion, self-reliance, self-expression, community
cooperation, civic responsibility, gifting, de-commodification, participation,
immediacy, and leaving no trace.
SO LET’S ENJOY!
354

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
355

Watch Erika Lust’s TED Talk: “It’s time for porn to change.”
Read “She Comes First” by Ian Kerner.
Watch the Hulu series “The Handmaid’s Tale” or read the book.
The Handmaid's Tale is a 1985 dystopian novel by
Canadian author Margaret Atwood. Set in a near-future New
England, in a totalitarian, Christian theonomy that has overthrown
the United States government, the novel explores
themes of women in subjugation and the various means by
which they gain individualism and independence.
Read about sex positivity.
Discover feminist porn.
Register for a sexually empowering class
(pole dancing, twerking, tantra yoga).
Buy yourself a sex toy.
Go to Burning Man.
Join a women’s march.
Knit a pussy hat with your friends.
Embrace your body!
NEVER FORGET THAT A POLITICAL,
ECONOMICAL OR RELIGIOUS CRISIS
IS ENOUGH TO CAST DOUBT ON WOMEN’S
RIGHTS. THESE RIGHTS WILL NEVER BE
VESTED. YOU HAVE TO STAY VIGILANT
YOUR WHOLE LIFE.
— Simone de Beauvoir
356

Chapter 14 – Violence
357

THE PROBLEM:
ONE IN THREE
358

One day I woke up to this…
WTF?
What world are we living in?
Women live in a dangerous world.
Where they avoid certain activities because they fear for their safety.
TAXI
Getting into subway cars with just men
in them.
Things women can’t do.
Eating in public might attract
unwanted attention.
Letting the cab driver drop us off
directly in front of our building.
Get drunk, because you never know if someone might try to assault you when
you’re under the influence.
Leave our drinks at the bar, unattended, because someone might try to drug
them.
Move into certain neighborhoods or live on certain blocks, because the
harassment is too severe.
Meet our creepy landlords, the cable guy, or the electrician by ourselves,
because it makes us feel unsafe.
359

Travel solo, because there are certain places where it’s just not safe to be a
woman traveling alone.
Try couch-surfing, because staying at a stranger’s house seems like an
invitation for trouble.
Run alone at night, because we fear attackers.
Talk back to harassers, because you never know if the abusive words will
escalate to violent actions.
Go on a date or buy something on Craigslist without telling a friend exactly
where we’ll be, because we’re aware there’s always the threat of danger.
Walk home at night without holding our keys out, because you never know
when you might need a makeshift weapon.
Wear flimsy clothing when we’re out walking by ourselves, because harassers
see it as an invitation to bother us.
Wear loud or outrageous clothing because that’ll invite comments from
strange men too. Wear anything that will expose our breasts or remind men
that we’re women, because that’s seen as an invitation for leering.
Wear a ponytail, because it will make it easier for an attacker to grab our hair.
Wear high heels, because it’ll make it harder to run faster if we need to.
Engage in small talk with a man, because he may interpret it as an invitation to
come on to us in a lecherous way.
Make eye contact with strangers, because it’s seen as an invitation to
approach us.
Even smiling can be seen as tacit approval to talk or approach us.
Eat food in public — like ice cream cones — that migh t attract unwanted
male attention.
Ride our bikes late at night, because we don’t want to deal with the
harassment.
Stay at a party or a show after our friends have gone home, because we don’t
want to worry about being stranded in a potentially threatening situation.
Get into a subway car with just men in it, because we’re afraid something
might happen. Instead, we scope out subway cars with other women already
in them.
Walk around late at night with headphones on and blasting music, because
we’re afraid attackers might come up behind us.
Answer the door to unexpected visitors, just in case it’s someone who got into
the building randomly who might be planning to attack.
Let the cab driver/our date drop us off directly in front our homes, because we
don’t want random guys to know where we live.
Walk directly home, sometimes, if we’re afraid someone is following us.
Instead, we’ll stop at a neighborhood bar and pretend we’re meeting someone.

Give our last names to strangers or potential dates, because it makes it that
much easier for a stranger to find out where we live, or where we work.
Stay late at work by ourselves, because of the potential of being attacked.
Use an ATM that’s outside or isolated, because we fear being attacked.
Is it OK to live in fear?
Source: Buzzfeed. Julie Gerstein
Every day, anywhere in the world, walking in the street as a female is a
challenge...
Source: Europarl.eu
...with drastic effects in terms of
depression and self-esteem.
Sometimes reaching a massive scale, like in Cologne or in Bangalore in
the recent years.
And most men are unaware of this
constant unconscious pressure.
Yet, it’s pretty simple…
"This is what it feels like" art installation
shows men exactly what it feels like being
cat called.
Image: www.andysinger.com
Homophobia:
The fear that other men treat you
the way you treat women.

Everywhere, women are told what to wear or what not to wear to avoid
violence.
Sometimes men think the dress is too short…or too long.
As a consequence, the female body has to
be hidden because it triggers male desire.
Or results in victim blaming.
Or women being told they
were "asking for it."
Artist: Rosea Posey
Katherine Cambareri's powerful photo series
shows what people were wearing when they
were sexually assaulted.
It has nothing to do with the clothes.
WHEN I'M RAPED,
PEOPLE SAY THAT
I'VE LOST MY HONOUR.
HOW DID I LOSE
MY HONOUR?
MY HONOUR IS NOT
IN MY VAGINA.
IT IS A PATRIARCHAL
IDEA THAT MY RAPE
WILL DEFILE THE HONOUR
OF MY COMMUNITY.
I'D LIKE TO TELL
EVERYONE, WHY DID
YOU PLACE YOUR
COMMUNITY'S HONOUR
IN A WOMAN'S VAGINA?
WE NEVER DID THAT.
IT IS THE RAPIST
WHO LOSES HIS HONOUR,
WE DON'T.
— Kamla Bhasin
362

Dress or behavior does not matter.
Harassmap breaks down the clothing myth:
“According to the Egyptian Center for Women’s
Rights 2008 study, 72 percent of women who
experience sexual harassment wear the hijab
(head covering) or the niqab (full face and body
veil). In 2008, that percentage was about the
same as the percentage of total women
wearing the hijab and niqab in Egyptian society, which indicates that the
average Egyptian woman gets harassed regardless of her clothing and
appearance.”
No matter what they wear, women experience “the longest war.”
In Men Explain Things to Me, Rebecca Solnit hits us with a barrage of acts of
violence committed against women and is outraged about how we all turn a
blind eye to it. She calls this “the longest war.”
A world where one out of three women will be beaten or abused by their
partner is not a happy place.
1 IN 3 WOMEN
worldwide will experience some
form of physical or sexual voiolence
in their lives.
Source: World Health Organization
363

603 million women live in countries where domestic violence is not a crime.
Worldwide, more than 700 million
women alive today were married as
children (below 18 years of age). Of
those women, more than 1 in 3 — or
some 250 million – were married
before 15.
At least 200 million women and girls
alive today have undergone female
genital mutilation in
30 countries. In most of these
countries, the majority of girls were
cut before age 5.
Adult women account for almost half
of all human trafficking victims
detected globally. Women and girls
together account for about
70% with girls representing two out of
every three child trafficking victims.
Around 120 million
girls worldwide
(slightly more than 1 in 10)
have experienced forced intercourse
or other forced sexual acts at some
point in their lives.
The most common perpetrators of
sexual violence against girls are
current or former husbands, partners,
or boyfriends.
1 in 10 women in the European Union
report having experienced
cyber-harassment since the age of 15
(including having received unwanted
sexually explicit emails or SMS
messages, or inappropriate advances
on social networking sites).
The risk is highest among young
women between
18 and 29 years of age.
An estimated 246 million
girls and boys experience
school-related violence every year,
and one in four girls say that they
never feel comfortable using school
bathrooms.
Because violence is about power.
Through my staring, my insults,
my threats, my stalking, my beating,
my raping, my killing, I control you.
I have power OVER you.
364

And this control takes many shapes.
Financial abuse
Emotional abuse
Online violence
Revenge porn
I make sure you
don’t have funds to
run away and live
your life.
I humiliate you and
destroy your
self-esteem.
You are afraid to
share your
thoughts online.
Your opinion is
not heard.
I own you. If you
want to leave me,
I shame you in
front of
everybody.
Sexual Abuse/Rape
Genital cutting
Physical abuse
I own your body.
I eradicate your
sexual pleasure.
You live in
constant fear.
A global pandemic.
And perpetrators use different tactics.
Source: UN Women
Source: European Agency for Fundamental Rights
365

Financial abuse makes it hard for victims to leave.
Economic abuse is a form of abuse when one partner has control over the other
partner's access to economic resources, which diminishes the victim's capacity
to support him/herself and forces him/her to depend on the perpetrator
financially.
It is related to, or also known as, financial abuse, which is the illegal or
unauthorized use of a person’s property, money, pension book or other valuables
(including changing the person's will to name the abuser as heir), often
fraudulently obtaining power of attorney, followed by deprivation of money or
other property, or by eviction from own home.
It can take different shapes.
Forbidding the victim to work.
Sabotaging work or employment opportunities by stalking or harassing the
victim at the workplace, or causing the victim to lose her job by physically
battering her prior to important meetings or interviews.
Controlling how all of the money is spent.
Not allowing the victim access to bank accounts.
Withholding money or giving “an allowance.”
Excluding the victim in investment or banking decisions.
Forbidding the victim from attending job training or advancement
opportunities.
Forcing the victim to write bad checks or file fraudulent tax returns.
Running up large amounts of debt on joint accounts or taking bad credit loans.
Refusing to work or contribute to the family income.
Withholding funds the victim or children need to obtain basic needs such as
food and medicine.
Hiding assets.
Stealing the victim’s identity, property, or inheritance.
Forcing the victim to work in a family business without pay.
Refusing to pay bills and ruining the victims’ credit score
Forcing the victim to turn over public benefits or threatening to turn the victim
in for “cheating or misusing benefits.”
Filing false insurance claims.
Evading or refusing to pay child support; manipulating the divorce process by
drawing it out or by hiding or not disclosing assets.
366

Women also face emotional abuse.
Psychological violence involves a regular pattern of verbal offense, threatening,
bullying, and constant criticism, as well as more subtle tactics like intimidation,
shaming, and manipulation.
Psychological violence is used to control and dominate the other person, and
quite often it occurs because the abuser has childhood wounds and insecurities
they haven't dealt with — perhaps as a result of being abused themselves.
According to UN Women, 43% of women in the 28 European Union
member states have experienced some form of psychological violence by
an intimate partner in their lifetime.
Nothing is more damaging to your confidence and self-esteem than being in an
emotionally abusive relationship.
Unlike physical abuse, which rears its ugly head in dramatic outbursts,
emotional abuse can be more insidious and elusive. In some cases, neither the
abuser nor the victim is fully aware it's happening.
Abusers consistently and repeatedly make mean jokes and criticize and
judge their partner negatively.
Abusers humiliate their partners. They insult and put their partners down both in
private and in front of others as a method of eroding their self-esteem, which
they hope will make their partners more dependent on them. Then, if the victim
or someone else protests, the abuser will laugh it off as a joke and refuse to talk
about it.
367

A few examples of emotional abuse.
Constant criticism or attempts to manipulate and control.
Shaming and blaming with hostile sarcasm or outright verbal assault.
The use of shaming and belittling language, verbal abuse, name-calling.
Withholding affection.
Punishment and threats of punishment.
Refusal to accept responsibility (mind games, gaslighting).
Refusing to communicate at all.
Isolating her from supportive friends and family.
The French movie, My King, is a good example of
what emotional abuse looks like in a relationship.
According to Bonnie Burstow, being understanding over abuse from male partners
who are hurting is part of our oppression as women.
Emotional abuse, just like any other form of abuse, is about power.
Emotional abuse, like physical abuse, is used to control, demean, harm, or
punish a woman. While the forms of abuse may vary, the end result is the same:
a woman is fearful of her partner and changes her behavior to please him or be
safe from harm.
Research has shown that being female is the single largest risk factor for being a
victim of abuse in heterosexual relationships, something that is clearly reflective
of women's lower status in our society.
Source: American Psychological Association, Violence and the Family
Violence can also be virtual.
Women are being sent repeated, threatening, or harassing messages: trolling,
cyberbullying, online hate speech, blackmail and rape and death threats through
different social media platforms.
368

Technology allows abusers to stalk their victims online, locating them and
monitoring their movements, leading sometimes to offline violence.
As a consequence, women (especially young women or minorities) censor
themselves online.
In France, 1 out of 5 victims
of cyberviolence closed an account to
protect themselves.
57% of LGBTQ Internet users
censor themselves to avoid
cyberharassment.
Source: VsCyberH
41% of women from
15 to 29 say they censor themselves
online because they fear
cyberharassment.
70% of female victims of
cyberharassment say they have
received no support from close
friends or family.
Source: University of Bedfordshire. Cyberstalking in the UK.
Across the world, there are 200 million fewer women online than men.
This means men have more opportunities to present their perspectives online
and hold even more power over women.
369

Women are 27 times more likely than men to be harassed online.
Women are more targeted by revenge porn.
The Mischa Barton sex tape, Emma Watson’s leaked photos, and alleged naked
shots of Amanda Seyfried have brought revenge porn to the forefront. Revenge
porn is a violation of trust between two people whose purpose is to publicly
humiliate the other.
Work is not a safe place either…
According to UN Women, in the European Union, 75% of women in management
and leadership positions have experienced some sort of sexual harassment in
the workplace in their lifetimes.
28% of women in the US military experienced rape during their military
service by fellow military men.
The documentary The Invisible War tells heartbreaking
stories of women assaulted by superiors or colleagues while
defending their country.
None of those who reported rape in the years covered by
this documentary kept their job.
Military women are more likely to be raped by
a fellow soldier than killed by enemy fire!
Only 8% of sexual assault cases are prosecuted in the military.
Only 2% result in convictions.
Young women also face dating abuse.
Nearly 1.5 million high school students in the U.S. experience physical abuse
from a dating partner every year.
One in three adolescents is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional, or verbal
abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of
youth violence.
One in 10 high school students has been deliberately hit, slapped, or
physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the
370

highest rate of intimate partner violence — almost triple the national average.
Nearly half (43%) of dating college women report experiencing violent and
abusive dating behaviors.
College students are not equipped to deal with dating abuse – 57% say it is
difficult to identify, and 58% say they don’t know how to help someone who’s
experiencing it.
One in three (36%) dating college students have given a dating partner their
computer, online access, email, or social network passwords, and these
students are more likely to experience digital dating abuse.
One in six college women have been sexually abused in a dating relationship.
Source: Love is Respect
Every 98 seconds, an American is sexually assaulted.
And every 8 minutes, the victim is a child. Meanwhile, only 6 out of every 1,000
perpetrators will end up in prison.
1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or
completed rape in her lifetime.
9 people are raped every hour in France according to Collectif Féministe Contre
le Viol.
According to UN Women, around
120 million girls worldwide
(slightly more than 1 in 10) have
experienced forced intercourse or
other forced sexual acts at some
point in their lives.
371

And marital rape is still not
acknowledged in many parts of
the world.
It even passes unnoticed in our
movies.
Remember that Gone with the Wind
scene?
“This one night, you’re not turning me
out.” And how she wakes up smiling?
SOME MYTHS ABOUT RAPE
NEED TO BE BUSTED
Myth: Women are most likely to be raped outside, after dark, and by a stranger,
so women shouldn't go out alone at night.
Fact: Only 10% of rapes are committed by “strangers.” 90% of rapes are committed
by known men, and often by someone the survivor has previously trusted
or even loved. People are raped in their homes, their workplaces, and other
settings where they felt safe. Rapists can be friends, colleagues, clients, neighbors,
family members, partners or exes. Risk of rape shouldn't be used as an
excuse to control women's movements and restrict their rights and freedom.
Myth: Only young, “attractive” women and girls who are flirtatious and wear tight
clothes are raped.
Fact: People of all ages, appearances, classes, cultures, abilities, genders,
sexualities, races and religions are raped. Rape is an act of violence and control;
the perceived "attractiveness" of a victim has very little to do with it. There is no
excuse or mitigation for sexual violence, and it is never the victim/survivor's fault.
What someone was wearing when they were raped or how they behave is irrelevant.
Myth: When it comes to sex, women and girls sometimes "play hard to get" and
say “no” when they really mean “yes.”
372

Fact: Everyone has the legal right to say “no” to sex and to change their mind
about having sex at any point of sexual contact; if the other person doesn't stop,
they are committing sexual assault or rape. When it comes to sex, we must
respect the wishes of our sexual partner and believe what they tell us about what
they do and don't want.
Myth: If two people have had sex with each other before, it's always OK to have
sex again.
Fact: If a person is in a relationship with someone or has had sex with them
before, this does not mean that they cannot be sexually assaulted or raped by
that person. Consent must be given and received every time two people engage
in sexual contact. It is important to check in with our sexual partners and make
sure that anything sexual that happens between us is what we both want, every
time.
Myth: Alcohol, drugs, stress, or depression can turn people into rapists.
Fact: Drugs and alcohol are never the cause of rape or sexual assault. It is the
attacker who is committing the crime, not the drugs and/or alcohol. Likewise,
stress and depression don't turn people into rapists or justify sexual violence.
There are no excuses.
Myth: Someone who has willingly drunk lots of alcohol or taken drugs shouldn't
then complain about being raped.
Fact: In law, consent must be fully and freely given by someone with the capacity
to do so. If a person is unconscious or incapacitated due to alcohol or drugs,
they are unable to give their consent to sex. Having sex with a person who is
incapacitated through alcohol or drugs is therefore rape. No one asks or
deserves to be raped or sexually assaulted; 100% of the responsibility lies with
the perpetrator.
Myth: Men of certain races and backgrounds are more likely to commit sexual
violence.
Fact: There is no typical rapist. People who commit sexual violence come from
everyeconomic, ethnic, racial, age, and social group.
Myth: It's only rape if someone is physically forced into sex and has the injuries
to show for it.
Fact: Sometimes people who are raped sustain internal and/or external injuries,
and sometimes they don't. Rapists will sometimes use weapons or threats of
violence to prevent a physical struggle, or sometimes they will take advantage of
someone who isn't able to consent because they are drunk or asleep. Many

people who are sexually attacked are unable to move or speak from fear and
shock. Just because someone doesn't have visible injuries doesn't mean they
weren't raped.
Myth: Once a man is sexually aroused, he cannot help himself. He has to have
sex.
Fact: Men can quite easily control their urges to have sex; they do not need to
rape someone to satisfy them. Rape is an act of violence and control, not sexual
gratification.
Myth: People often lie about being raped because they regret having sex with
someone or out of spite or for attention.
Fact: Disproportionate media focus on false rape allegations perpetuates the
public perception that lying about sexual violence is common when in fact the
opposite is true. False allegations of rape are very rare. The vast majority of
survivors choose not to report rape to the police. One significant reason for this
is the fear of not being believed.
Source: https://rapecrisis.org.uk/mythsvsrealities.php
Rape is even used as a weapon of war, a deliberate military strategy.
From the systematic rape of women in Bosnia, to an estimated 200,000
women raped during the battle for Bangladeshi independence in 1971, to
Japanese rapes during the 1937 occupation of Nanking the past century
offers too many examples.
Source: How did rape become a weapon of war? By Laura Smith-Spark. BBC News
And many countries still practice female genital cuttting, denying sexual
pleasure to millions of women.
374

Half of all women killed worldwide are killed by their partner or family.
In the US, 3 women are killed every day by a current or former intimate partner.
One every three days in France.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE IS
TERRORISM WITH MORE VICTIMS
Do you know that there have been more US women killed by their partners
since 9/11 than military deaths from wars?
The number of US troops killed in Afghanistan and Iraq between 2001 and
2012 was 6,488.
The number of US women who were murdered by current or ex-partners
during that time was 11,766.
The US military response to 9/11 in Afghanistan and Iraq has cost up to $4
trillion, and homeland security has cost an additional $1 trillion.
In the same period, terrorists have killed 33 people in the United States.
WE ARE THE ONLY SPECIES WHERE MALES
KILL FEMALES OF THEIR OWN SPECIES.
— Françoise Héritier 375

And this has a serious cost. For the individual and for society.
The personal cost of sexual assault in the US: $108,447.
This is the amount an adult victim in Michigan can expect to pay in medical and
emergency services, mental health care, and in lost work productivity according
to "The Rape Tax: Tangible and Intangible Costs of Sexual Violence.
The societal cost of each rape in the US: $267,000.
Source: Huffington Post. Being A Sexual Assault Survivor In College Often Comes With Huge Bills.
What is most costly for society? Domestic violence or war?
Oxford and Stanford University studies argue that, despite much greater
coverage in the media, war and civil violence account for less than 5% of the
total cost of violence worldwide. The greatest burden instead comes from
physical violence against women and children in the home.
The gigantic cost of domestic violence: $8 trillion a year.
Civil wars and conflicts cost 0.2% of global GDP.
Source: Benefits and Costs of the Conflict and
Violence Targets for the Post-2015
Development Agenda
376

Yet, violence against women is not at the center of the agenda.
In most democratic regimes, it’s not a priority. It is seen as anecdotal and
marginal, linked to poverty or alcoholism. This denial is due to the fact that most
civic leaders — politicians, judges, police officers, etc. — are still men and do
not experience women’s reality.
In authoritarian regimes, it is a very useful tool to keep the population under
control.
Women’s bodies belong to men in exchange for men’s bodies belonging to
industrial production in times of peace and the state in times of war. Women’s
oppression facilitates the state’s oppression. It allows men to unleash their
frustration on a subordinate. If not, they would rebel. It is a kind of compensation
for their obedience.
According to Wilhelm Reich in The Sexual Revolution:
“An authoritarian system needs submissive subjects and the most efficient
factory of the later is the patriarchal families where power relations between the
head of state and his people is mirrored in the ties between the head of family
and his dependents. The authoritarian state has a representative in every family,
the father who is the state’s most valuable tool. The best way for a father to keep
his children in line is by clamping down on their sexual urges. Which results in
the paralysis of the rebellious forces. Sexual repression is the hallmark of any
dictatorship.”
As a consequence, our society is very tolerant of violence against women.
It’s embedded in our culture.
Our whole history is plagued
by rape.

The rape of women or youth is a common theme in Greek or Roman
mythology.
Hades and Persephone
Apollo and Daphne
The rape of the Sabine women
Even the creation of Rome is based on rape.
We learnt from
Ovid that
“no means yes.”
And that
women always
lie.
Iconic female figures of sexual betrayal like Eve have been used to create
the notion that women aren’t trustworthy.
And it’s not only powerful women who are discounted.
“If you go back to medieval times, women’s stories have been seen as
dangerous,” explains Leigh Gilmore, a visiting professor of women’s and
gender studies at Wellesley.
“They’re threatening to institutions, including the church, government, other
interests. To keep women’s stories from taking root, people in power, generally
men, go straight at the credibility of the woman.”
Every day, “women who report sexual assault or rape are greeted with
skepticism.”
We follow the same patterns for undermining women’s testimony and
credibility.
378

So, we celebrate rapists, like Don Juan and Jupiter.
And we associate power with sexual domination.
Romantic comedies and social media teach us that stalking is okay if it’s in the
name of love. And that rapists walk away.
Perpetrators of sexual violence are less likely to go to jail or prison than
other criminals.
Out of every 1,000 roberies:
619 are reported to the police.
167 reports lead to arrest.
20 robbers will be incarcerated.
Out of every 1,000 rapes:
310 are reported to the police.
57 reports lead to arrest.
6 rapists will be incarcerated.
994 perpetrators walk free.
Source: RAINN US
According to the UN, in most countries, less than 40% of women who
experienced violence sought help of any sort.
Of those, less than 10% sought help from the police.
Women make up less than 35% of police personnel in all 86 countries with
data.
Because victims prefer to avoid the risk of being blamed, shamed, or not
believed.
In reality, only 2-8% of rape allegations are false.
But we live in a rape culture...
Rape Culture:
A setting in which rape is pervasive and
normalized due to societal attitudes
about gender and sexuality.
379

...which does not believe women.
Sexual assault:
When someone touches any part of
another person’s body in a sexual way,
even through clothes, without that
person’s consent.
We constantly watch comedy shows full of sarcasm and humiliation and we
listen to angry popular music with violent lyrics. The media teaches us that
humiliating others is fun and models uncaring and hurtful behaviors as “cool.”
Relations of domination, humiliation, and violence are sexy, glamorous, and
desirable. If we lack love, we start to lose touch with ourselves and others, we
become angry, cruel, insensitive, and violent. And we become insensitive to
crime, terrorism, and war.
Rape isn’t caused by drinking or short
dresses. It is fostered by a culture that
tells men that they can act with impunity.
Violence against women is basically the
symptom of society devaluing women and
tolerating dominant male behavior.
Source: Google Autofill Campaign UN Women
Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which
sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media
and popular culture.
Rape Culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the
objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence,
thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety.
Rape Culture affects every woman. The rape of one woman is a degradation,
terror, and limitation to all women.
Most women and girls limit their behavior because of the existence of rape.
Most women and girls live in fear of rape. Men, in general, do not.
That’s how rape functions as a powerful means by which the whole female

population is held in a subordinate position to the whole male population,
even though many men don’t rape, and many women are never victims of
rape.
This cycle of fear is the legacy of Rape Culture.
Examples of rape culture:
Trivializing sexual assault (“Boys will be boys!”)
Sexually explicit jokes.
Tolerance of sexual harassment.
Inflating false rape report statistics.
Publicly scrutinizing a victim’s dress, mental state,
motives, and history.
Gratuitous gendered violence in movies and television.
Defining “manhood” as dominant and sexually aggressive.
Defining “womanhood” as submissive and sexually passive.
Pressure on men to “score.”
Pressure on women not to appear “cold.”
Assuming only promiscuous women get raped.
Assuming that men don’t get raped or that only
“weak” men get raped.
Refusing to take rape accusations seriously.
Teaching women to avoid getting raped instead of
teaching men not to rape.
Universities prefer to cover up the situation to preserve their reputation.
Percentage of U.S. Campuses
Disclosing Zero Reported Incidents
of Rape
9%
91%
reported zero incidents
reported at least one incident
Data: AAUW
WHAT FRUSTRATES ME
AT MY SCHOOL IS
THAT WE’VE HAD
PEOPLE EXPELLED
FOR CHEATING,
BUT NOBODY HAS
EVER BEEN EXPELLED
FOR RAPE.
381

More examples of rape culture:
Women who come forward are questioned about what they were wearing.
Survivors who come forward are asked, “Were you drinking?”
People say, “She was asking for it.”
The lyrics of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” mirror the words of actual rapists
and was the number one song in the U.S.
The mainstream media mourns the end of the convicted Steubenville rapists’
football careers and does not mention the young girl who was victimized.
Cyberbullies take pictures of sexual assaults and harass their victims online
after the act.
In 31 US states, rapists can legally sue for child custody if the rape results in
pregnancy.
College campus advisers tasked with supporting the student body shame
survivors who report their rapes.
Colleges are more concerned with getting sued by assailants than with
supporting survivors.
Our tolerance fuels the rape culture.
382

And the most insignificant jokes prove our cultural tolerance.
Source: Ashley Fairbanks
Sandra Newman, in her article "Why men rape?” has a very clear answer:
"Rape is easy, that’s all. The myth behind rape is that male sexuality is predatory
by nature. And this theory leads to victim blaming. But rape is more a process of
intimidation to keep women in fear: the motive is power, not sex. It is sexual
behavior in the primary service of non-sexual needs. Rapists are regular men
with misogynist beliefs. The overwhelming majority of rapists assume they would
never be punished. Rape is the violent crime least likely to be reported: it has to
become a priority. We need to change the culture at the base.”
Sexual violence is not about lust. It is about control.
We have learnt in media, family history, and religious texts that women belong to
men. That men are superior to women and can do anything they want to them
without being punished. That the role of a girl is to be chaste when she is single
and docile when she is in a relationship. And that men are entitled to punish her
if she does not conform. Through shame, abuse, or violence. 383

Women have to be kept under control.
Women who challenge patriarchal norms are shamed and ostracized by
friends and families. It is the price they pay for voicing their opinions. As a
consequence, many women prefer to shut up and silently conform to the
status quo for fear of being rejected and isolated. But the price to pay for
disobeying the rules can be far more violent.
Throughout history, and even today, women are burnt, locked up, or killed
by family members merely for voicing their opinions or trying to claim
control over their own bodies.
Malleus Maleficarum, the medieval handbook for persecuting and burning
“witches,” was blessed by Pope Innocent VIII.
A woman who rebelled against Victorian domesticity risked being declared
insane and committed to an asylum. This was usually at her husband’s or
father’s request, and she generally had no right to contest or appeal. Women
were further disempowered by moral treatment once locked away. This cornerstone
of Victorian psychiatry claimed male
dominance was therapeutic. The doctor ruled the asylum like a father ruled his
family. Nearly all Victorian physicians considered women more fragile and
sensitive than men. They believed women were more susceptible to nervous
breakdowns. The classic “female malady” was hysteria.
Electroshock therapy has been used to silence women about sexual abuse
and sexual or physical assault. Electroshock therapy has no proven efficacy in
relieving depression, but it is proven to be brain-damaging, controlling, and
terrorizing for patients. Influential feminist writers of the time criticised
psychiatry. They argued it was one of the main ways society controlled
women. Women who did not behave “properly” risked ending up in psychiatric
care.
Another psychiatric therapy that drew feminist attention was the class of drugs
called minor tranquilizers. The most famous was diazepam, introduced in 1963
under the trade name Valium. The popularity of minor tranquilizers reflected
how dissatisfied women felt about their lives. Their dissatisfaction was treated
as a medical problem rather than a spur to political change. Feminist writers
warned that psychiatric drugs were being used to silence women like asylums
had been used in the Victorian era.
384

Psychiatry is a feminist issue.
Feminist therapy considers mental disorders as coping mechanisms to survive
trauma. According to feminist therapist Bonnie Burstow, “Insidious trauma
[comes from] living day after day in a sexist, racist, classist, homophobic, and
ableist society: being ogled by men on the street, slaving long hours and for
minimum wages in a fish processing plant, hearing racist innuendos even from
one’s White allies.”
In her book, Radical Feminist Therapy, Bonnie Burstow reminds us that
psychiatry is a white patriarchal European invention. Before its creation,
powerful female healers known as witches, midwives, and wise women (often
lesbian) were the most sought after medical experts in that culture (and in
many other indigenous cultures) because they were the most affordable,
reliable, and effective. Europe’s elite male medical clan, the Church, and
businessmen were threatened by the power of these wise women and
condemned and punished them, i.e. the infamous witch burnings. Before long,
the male physician had rewritten history by casting the witch as madwoman
and himself as healer. The strong woman was pathologized and placed under
man’s control.
But trauma is powerful. It contributes to the development of profound survival
skills, an enhanced ability to understand other traumatized and oppressed
individuals and groups, a passion for justice, a desire for a different kind of
society, a certain critical realism, and what is particularly significant, a less
distorted view of the world.
Source: © Feminist Rag 2012 to present day.
385

SOME
SOLUTIONS
386

Naming
Humor
Visualize
The creation of terms like rape culture, slut shaming, and revenge porn have
given a name to widespread phenomenons so that women around the world
realize they share the same experiences and they are not alone.
Education is part of the answer.
Parents raising sons hold all the power to change the world.
Instead of our parents teaching daughters caution, start teaching your sons
consent.
Instead of our parents teaching daughters fear, start teaching your sons
respect.
Teach your sons about gender equality. Teach your sons what “No” means.
(Hint: It means no.)
Teach your sons that they aren’t entitled to any woman’s body, attention, or
time.
Instead of parents teaching daughters modesty, teach your sons about
personal space.
Instead of parents teaching daughters to avert gazes, teach your sons not to
stare.
Teach your sons about healthy masculinity, healthy romance, and healthy
sexual relationships.
Teach your sons to be enraged by rape, assault, and crimes against all
women, not just women they can process as wives, mothers, and sisters. That
all people, of all genders, warrant equal respect.
Your little boy will watch movies in which the hero gets the girl by stalking and
harassing her. Teach your sons that what they’re witnessing is a crime.
Protect your sons from the toxic pop culture threatening to corrupt their
notions of right and wrong.
Source: Rega Jha. BuzzFeed India.

Raise your sons differently.
Teach your sons that love is built, not coerced. That sex is
agreed upon, not taken.
Fathers, your sons will learn how to treat women from how
you treat women. Demonstrate respect. Demonstrate
equality. Teach your sons that it is manly to educate other
men in equality, too.
Teach your sons how to express emotion. That violence is
not an option. That nobody, no matter what they’re
wearing or drinking, “deserves” or “asks for” it.
Instead of our parents teaching us to be wary of men,
raise your sons to be men who don’t need to be feared.
Don’t shame the girls, educate the boys.
388

Humor
Awareness
Project Consent is an international nonprofit campaign that combats
sexual assault and rape culture by raising awareness and spreading
education.
Doesn’t mean I owe you campaign by the Avalon Sexual Assault Center in
Canada raises awareness of entitlement, misogyny, language, coercion,
consent, and bodily autonomy.
389

Awareness
Visualize
Toolkit
Source: Doesn’t Mean I Owe You campaign.
Avalon, Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada.
This UN Women campaign in Mexico
shows how men look at your
mother/sister/friend every day.
The Women’s Media Center Speech
Project explains what online abuse
is.
390

Tech 4 Good
Technology is also offering new apps fostering women’s safety.
Circle of 6 allows you to identify 6
close contacts to alert in case of
danger.
Lifeline Response allows your
phone to trigger an alarm system
and call the authorities.
Safetipin crowdsources information
based on nine factors in order to
measure how safe the area in
question is. These factors are
lighting, openness, visibility, people
density, security, walking paths,
transportation in the area, gender,
and feeling.
Safetipin is expanding its international presence. The
app is already operational in Jakarta, Nairobi, Bogota,
and Manila, and data collection is underway in eight
more cities, including Rio de Janeiro, Kuala Lumpur,
and Johannesburg.
391

Tech 4 Good The Power of the Crowd
Jessica Ladd developed Callisto, a college sexual assault reporting system
by survivors, for survivors.
Started in the UK, the Everyday Sexism project allows people all around
the world to give their own testimonial about their experience.
It resulted in a book showing that assault or sexism are not isolated
experiences but a global phenomenon.
The app Hollaback allows women to
share stories of sexual harassment and
get support.
In Egypt, Harassmap geolocalizes in
real time sexual assaults in the streets
of Cairo.
They identify the areas most at risk and
train shopkeepers, taxi drivers, police
officers to help.
Purple Purse is working on financial
abuse.
Chayn provides different toolkits for
women to identify and escape abuse.
392

Tech 4 Good Toolkit The Power of the Crowd
The Hunting Ground is a piercing, monumental
exposé of rape culture on campuses, poised to light
a fire under a national debate.
Many college students who have been raped on campus
face retaliation and harassment as they fight for justice.
Since the film’s premiere at Sundance, it has been
screened at the White House and hundreds of college
campuses across the country. The documentary has
inspired new laws in New York and California and
changes in campus policies.
Take Back the Tech! (TBTT!) works to get more women online and trained
in new technologies so they can have a louder voice. It also seeks
recognition for women’s achievements in technology, and for these
achievements to be fairly documented on sites like Wikipedia.
TBTT! is part of the Safety and Free Speech Coalition. Through this coalition,
TBTT! has pressured Facebook and Twitter to change some of their policies to
offer more protection for women’s freedom of speech and freedom from
violence. The coalition also managed to get Facebook to relax its stance on
people using their real names on the site. The policy was seen as a major issue
for women with new identities escaping abusive situations.
Protect Our Defenders (POD) is the only national organization solely
dedicated to ending the epidemic of rape and sexual assault in the military
and to combating a culture of pervasive misogyny, sexual harassment, and
retribution against victims.
393

Speak up
Humor
Counter Storytelling
Artists change the narrative.
Stop Telling Women to Smile is an art
series by Tatyana Fazlalizadeh. The work
addresses gender-based street harassment
by placing drawn portraits of women with
captions that speak directly to offenders,
outside in public spaces.
Transform your trauma into art.
The famous baroque painter Artemisia Gentileschi was raped by an artist hired
by her father to teach her drawing. Upon pressing charges against her rapist,
she was given a humiliating virginity test and even tortured to confess she was
lying. Even worse, her rapist got away with it. Gentileschi used art to express her
outrage. During the trial, Artemisia began painting “Judith Beheading
Holofernes.” The violence of Judith beheading the male general speaks for itself.
Her protagonists were avengers, they did not wait for justice to take its course.
Powerful photo series Still not asking
for it calls out rape culture and victim
blaming. Australian photographer Rory
Banwell’s powerful photo series is
tackling the culture of blaming the
victims of sexual violence.
The short movie Oppressed Majority
from Eleonore Pourriat imagines how a
man might experience a sexual assault
in a matriarchal society.
Louise O’Neill’s book, Asking For It, nails down a culture where women are
blamed for what happens to them.
394

I NEVER
ASK FOR IT
Humor
Counter Storytelling
In Scotland, the campaign Not Ever explains
that, no matter how short or sexy the skirt,
no woman asked to be raped. Ever.
I NEVER ASK FOR IT
Different comics or action heroes challenge the narrative.
395

Humor
Visualize
Data Mining
Commando Culotte produced this comic that talks about “the impunity of
famous men,” listing the violence committed by famous men and the
punishment each received.
Artist: Mirion Malle

Artist: Mirion Malle

New Products
Counter Storytelling
Projet Crocodiles is a blog from
Thomas Mathieu telling real
stories of sexism and harassment.
The harassers are portrayed as
crocodiles pulullating in our
streets, work places, or public
transport.
In India, the Blank Noise Initiative
invites us to occupy public
spaces.
Some lingerie lines promote
messages about consent.
IF YOU ARE NEUTRAL IN
SITUATION OF INJUSTICE,
YOU HAVE CHOSEN THE SIDE
OF THE OPPRESSOR.
— Desmond Tutu
398

The Power of the Crowd
Social media campaigns offer a powerful tool to denounce sexual assault.
Pakistani women — and their online supporters — are not quietly accepting a
proposed new law from the country’s powerful Council of Islamic ideology that
would allow men to “lightly beat” their wives for a variety of offenses including
refusing sex, dressing improperly, talking to strangers, or speaking too loudly.
A campaign called #TryBeatingMeLightly started by Pakistani photographer
Fanhad Rapier has gained momentum online as women have begun using the
hashtag to criticize the bill. Rapier created a Facebook album with
black-and-white photos of Pakistani women with captions about what might
happen if a man tried to hurt them.
Brazilian feminist NGO Think Olga launched a Twitter hashtag campaign
#PrimeiroAssédio – “first harassment” – where women could share their
experiences. The past year has seen a big increase in feminist activism in Brazil
– a country where more than 10% of reported cases of violence against women
are sexual assaults, according to Mapa da Violência (Map of Violence), a
Brazilian organization that tracks violent crime. Among the victims, 9,000 are
adolescent girls.
A month after Think Olga’s incentive, Não me Kahlo launched another Twitter
hashtag campaign that quickly gained momentum – #meuamigosecreto (my
secret friend) encouraged women to share stories of machismo, “mansplaining”
(explaining to a woman in a condescending manner), “manterrupting” (sexist
interruption), and violence against women. The organization published a book
about the campaign called My Secret Friend: Feminism Through Social
Networks.
Earlier on, the #BringBackOurGirls campaign was also launched after the
abduction of more than 300 schoolgirls in Chibok, Nigeria.
Source: Women of the World
#MeToo revealed the ubiquity of sexual assault.
Activist Tarana Burke, founder of youth organization Just Be Inc., created the
“Me Too” campaign in 2007 long before hashtags even existed.
399

Counter Storytelling
Speak up
The movement began on social media after a call to action by the actor Alyssa
Milano, after the Harvey Weinstein revelations, who wrote: “If all the women who
have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote "Me too" as a status, we might
give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.”
Nearly 68,000 people have so far replied to Milano’s tweet, and the #MeToo
hashtag has been used more than 1m times in the US, Europe, the Middle East
and beyond. The French used #balancetonporc, the Spanish #YoTambien, and
the local hashtags in Arab countries have been predominant.
Facebook said that within 24 hours, 4.7 million people around the world engaged
in the #MeToo conversation, with over 12m posts, comments, and reactions.
This movement shows how a hashtag can become a rallying cry and help
uncover the colossal scale of the problem.
Survivors are speaking up.
Telling is breaking the silence injunction,
joining with others, and standing up for self.
Especially when the law is essentially patriarchal.
Emma Sulkowicz, student of Columbia University was raped by a fellow student
in her dorm room during her sophomore year and her attacker was cleared in a
school hearing. As a protest, she walked around campus during the school year
while carrying a mattress. The mattress was the centerpiece of Sulkowicz’s
Carry That Weight senior arts thesis.
And the resilience of women to centuries of violence is outstanding.
In Spain, the Ana Bella foundation is changing
the narrative from victims to survivors, showing
that women who have experienced
gender-based violence possess enormous skills
of resilience and resistance to stressful
situations. 400

Unite
Speak up
Portugal bans the verbal harassment of women.
Several other countries have taken similar moves to tackle the problem of verbal
sexual abuse. Belgium banned sexist insults in 2014, and Peru made street
harassment punishable with up to 12 years in prison in 2015. Meanwhile,
Argentina is poised to ban catcalling, with a fine of up to $775.
How the SlutWalk has transformed the rape culture conversation.
On April 3, 2011, approximately 3,000 women
(and men) marched the streets of Toronto in
what they dubbed a SlutWalk. Angered by
the comments of a Toronto police officer —
who had ill-advisedly said that women
shouldn't "dress like sluts" if they wanted to
avoid being assaulted — marchers rallied to
protest blaming rape victims for their own
assaults. To date, more than 50 satellite walks have taken place in major cities
around the world, including Boston, London, New Delhi and Sydney. Dozens
more are being planned, and the original organizers have said they plan on
making SlutWalk an annual event.
Eve Ensler is a prominent activist addressing
issues of violence against women and girls. In
1998, her experience performing The Vagina
Monologues inspired her to create V-Day, a
global activist movement to stop violence
against women and girls. V-Day raises funds
and awareness through annual benefit productions of The Vagina Monologues.
In 2012, along with the V-Day movement, Ensler created One Billion Rising, a
global protest campaign to end violence, and promote justice and gender
equality for women.
LET US DANCE TO END
THE VIOLENCE. LET US SHAKE
THE EARTH INTO AWARENESS.
— One Billion Rising
401

Unite
Speak up
In West Africa, Tostan is working with the communities to reach
agreements on the end of female genital cutting.
In India, the video campaign Ring The Bell shows how we can ring the bell
and stand up when we witness domestic violence.
In Lebanon, the KAFA campaign
No law, no vote engaged citizens
and personalities to push
politicians to approve a law
against domestic violence.
It’s also time for men to stand up.
The powerful Dear Daddy video
urges all men to fight rape culture
to protect their daughters.
FEMINISM HAS NEVER KILLED ANYBODY.
MACHISM DOES EVERY DAY.
— Benoite Groult
402

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
403

Our task as individuals is to intervene at all levels.
Read about the topic.
Be supportive of people around you in a situation of violence.
Help them find a way out.
Engage your political representatives to pass laws ending violence
against women.
Stay woke. Woke is a political term of African-American origin that refers
to a perceived awareness of issues concerning social justice and racial
justice.
Avoid using language that objectifies or degrades women.
Speak out if you hear someone else making an offensive joke or
trivializing rape.
If a friend says she has been raped or abused, take her seriously and be
supportive.
Think critically about the media’s messages about women, men,
relationships, and violence.
Be respectful of others’ physical space, even in casual situations.
Always communicate with sexual partners and do not assume consent.
Define your own manhood or womanhood. Do not let stereotypes shape
your actions.
Get involved! Join a student or community group working to end violence
against women.
404

Chapter 15 – Manhood
405

THE PROBLEM:
PATRIARCHY IS CRUSHING
OUR MEN TOO
406

Starting as toddlers, men are consistently and aggressively taught to
suppress their emotions.
Progressively trapping them into a box…
The Man Box refers to a set of beliefs communicated by parents, families, the
media, peers, and other members of society that place pressure on men to
behave a certain way. These pressures tell men to be self-sufficient, to act tough,
to be physically attractive, to stick to rigid gender roles, to be heterosexual, to
have sexual prowess, and to use aggression to resolve conflicts.
407

FIGURE 3.2 THE MAN BOX IN SEVEN PILLARS
1
2
3
4
Self-Sufficiency
Acting Tough
Physical Attractiveness
Rigid Masculine
Gender Roles
A man who talks a lot about
his worries, fears, and
problems shouldn’t really get
respect
Men should figure out their
personal problems on their
own without asking others
for help
A guy who doesn’t fight
back when others push him
around is weak
Guys should act strong even
if they feel scared or nervous
inside
It is very hard for a man to
be successful if he doesn’t
look good
Women don’t go for guys
who fuss too much about
their clothes, hair, and skin
A guy who spends a lot of
time on his looks isn’t very
manly
It is not good for a boy to
be taught how to cook, sew,
clean the house, and take
care of younger children
A husband shouldn’t have to
do household chores
Men should really be the
ones to bring money home to
provide for their families, not
women
5
Heterosexuality
and Homophobia
A gay guy is not a “real man”
Straight guys being friends
with gay guys is totally
fine and normal (positive
statement)
6
Hypersexuality
A “real man” should have
as many sexual partners as
he can
A “real man” would never say
no to sex
7
Aggression and
Control
Men should use violence to
get respect, if necessary
A man should always have
the final say about decisions
in his relationship or
marriage
If a guy has a girlfriend or
wife, he deserves to know
where she is all the time
!"
!"#$%&'$()*
Source: The Man Box, Promundo 408

And they progressively learn to mask their true selves.
The documentary The Mask You Live In
follows boys and young men as they
struggle to stay true to themselves while
negotiating America’s narrow definition of
masculinity.
Boys are forced to conform or face the threat of expulsion and abuse.
Real men do not express their emotions, except for anger.
Real men are financial providers, not care givers.
Real men are heterosexual and dominant in and out of the bedroom.
Real men are leaders and have the final word in any discussion.
Real men are never unemployed.
Real men are always confident.
Real men play sports and talk about sports as their primary mode
of interaction.
We admire women who work in “men’s jobs” but we rarely admire men working
in “women’s jobs.”
Men and women are taught to equate true masculinity with violence
and dominance.
Myths portray men as aggressive and physically dominant.
The pop culture environment that surrounds boys
introduces them to a world where traditionally
masculine traits—like toughness, aggression, and
stoicism—are highly esteemed, while female influence
is all but absent.
Image: Fight Club
409

Media gives us ideal images of men as lonesome cowboys, isolated and
emotionally disconnected.
NEVER COMPLAIN, NEVER EXPLAIN.
— Benjamin Disrael
Movies like Fifty Shades of Grey glamorize and legitimize violence against
women. We learn to equate love with possession, control, and dominance.
410

OUR CULTURE HAS INTENTIONALLY BLURRED
LINES BETWEEN CONSENT AND ASSAULT
David Wong, Executive Editor of Cracked.com, explains in 7 points why so
many guys don’t understand sexual consent.
1
Forcing yourself on women makes them love you.
In Star Wars, Han Solo forcefully kisses Leia Skywalker. The
result of this encounter is that she falls in love with this man
and spends the rest of her life with him.
In Goldfinger, James Bond rapes Pussy Galore in a barn,
which causes her to abandon her life of crime and join his
side.
2
Women like to be pursued, and thus always play “hard to get.”
3
Asking permission is a sign of weakness.
4
Everything women do is intended to stoke male hunger.
5
Sexual assault = guy in an alley with a knife.
6
All sex outside of (heterosexual) marriage is wrong.
7
Boys will be boys.
411

And political or religious leaders still spread this vision of tough
masculinity as an ideal to follow.
IN TIMES WHEN MEN
FEEL THAT MASCULINITY
HAS BEEN DIMINISHED
AND THAT THERE ARE
QUESTIONS MARKS OVER
THEIR VALUE TO THE SOCIAL
ORGANIZATION, THEY CAN
ENJOY IN FANTASY A RETURN
TO SOCIAL CONDITIONS WHERE
STRONG, INDEPENDENT
MASCULINITY HAD
UNQUESTIONABLE RELEVANCE.
— MacKinnon
This has also an impact in romantic relationships: We train women to
believe that the ideal man is narcissistic and non-committal.
“Women seek love from men who cannot give what they did not have. Everyone
who tries to create love with an emotionally unaware partner suffers. Romantic
love as seen in patriarchal society makes one powerless and out of control.
Many men respond to women wanting emotional connection with emotional
withdrawal and, in worse case scenarios, abuse.” — Bell Hooks
“We know, for instance, that egalitarian marriages breed substantially greater
rates of marital satisfaction and happiness, and that traditional marriages breed
greater rates of anxiety and depression and dissatisfaction.”
— Terry Real
412

What does it mean to “be a man” nowadays?
Study results from Promundo show that the Man Box is alive and well in the US,
the UK, and Mexico, with severe, real, and troubling effects on young men’s and
young women’s lives.
Young men’s mental health is in a worrisome state. Their bravado masks deep
insecurities, depression, and frequent thoughts of suicide.
Young men are more likely to report providing emotional
support to others than they are to report being
emotionally vulnerable or seeking help themselves.
The Man Box is also a place of extremely risky
behaviors, particularly binge drinking and reckless
driving.
Young men’s notions of physical attractiveness still link
primarily with muscle bulk and body shape, as opposed
to a more inward, individual sense of confidence and
attractiveness.
Men in the Man Box in the US and UK are as much as six or seven times
more likely to report having perpetrated acts of online or physical bullying
against male peers than men outside the Man Box.
As these results show, the harms of living in the Man Box certainly outweigh the
sense of comfort that some young men derive from aligning with social
pressures to be a “real man.”
Source: The Man Box, Promundo
The International Men and Gender Equality Survey – Middle East and North
Africa (IMAGES MENA) is the first study of its kind in the MENA region to
take a wide-angle, comparative lens to the lives of men to better
understand how they see their positions as men and their attitudes and
actions toward gender equality.
Some of their results about masculinity:
Two-thirds to 90% of men reported exercising these various forms of control,
with women affirming that their husbands sought to control them in these
ways.
The vast majority of the daily care of children and other household tasks are
carried out by women, in all four countries.
In most of the countries, the results show that a significant proportion of men
are under enormous pressure (mostly economic), with little recourse to formal

healthcare, including mental health services, particularly for smoking and
substance use.
THERE IS SO MUCH VIOLENCE IN OUR CULTURE
BECAUSE SO MANY PEOPLE ARE TAUGHT TO
VALUE POWER AND DOMINANCE, REGARDLESS
OF THE COST OF THEMSELVES AND OTHERS.
— Jennifer Siebel Newsom, Filmmaker
Traditional and toxic masculinity is
harmful to our boys.
And later to our women…
Source: The Mask You Live In
Source: UN Women
THE FIRST ACT OF VIOLENCE THAT PATRIARCHY
DEMANDS OF MALES IS NOT VIOLENCE TOWARDS
WOMEN. INSTEAD PATRIARCHY DEMANDS OF ALL
MALES THAT THEY ENGAGE IN ACTS OF PSYCHIC
SELF-MUTILATION, THAT THEY KILL OFF THE
EMOTIONAL PARTS OF THEMSELVES. IF AN
INDIVIDUAL IS NOT SUCCESSFUL IN EMOTIONALLY
CRIPPLING HIMSELF, HE CAN COUNT ON
PATRIARCHAL MEN TO ENACT RITUALS OF POWER
THAT WILL ASSAULT HIS SELF-ESTEEM.
— Bell Hooks
414

Some extracts from The Will to Change by Bell Hooks.
Patriarchal masculinity teaches males to be pathologically narcissistic, infantile,
and psychologically dependent on privileges.
Patriarchal masculinity teaches emotional stoicism; men are more manly if
they do not feel, men don’t feel pain.
Patriarchal fathers cannot love their sons because the rules dictate that they
stand in competition with them. If the sons don’t behave, they use the A-bomb
of family warfare: rejection.
The spread of emotional abuse, where an individual systematically diminishes
and destroys the inner self of another and belittles that person, injures boys
and girls deeply.
Unable to cope with the loss of emotional connection, boys internalize the
pain and mask it with indifference and rage. They decide not to put their faith
in love but in being powerful and dominant. They idealize aloneness and
disconnection.
In patriarchal culture, men cannot speak their pain. They must constantly wear
a mask, live a lie, pretend.
Men are hurting, but nobody wants to know about it. We don’t want to shatter
the image of the strong man. They live their deep inner misery on their own.
If patriarchy was so rewarding, why would there be so much violence and
addiction? Why this overwhelming dissatisfaction?
In reality, most men find it difficult to be patriarchs. But they fear letting go of
the benefits. So they passively support the status quo.
Source: Bell Hooks, The Will to Change
PATRIARCHY IS THE SINGLE MOST LIFE-THREATENING
SOCIAL DISEASE ASSAULTING THE MALE BODY AND
SPIRIT IN OUR WORLD. BUT YET MOST MEN NEVER
THINK ABOUT ITS IMPACT ON THEIR LIVES.
— Bell Hooks
415

The male emotion suppression cycle has terrible consequences.
Source: RemakingManhood.com
MALE DESPAIR IS ACTUALLY A FAR GREATER THREAT
TO PATRIARCHAL ORDER THAN FEMINIST MOVEMENT.
— Bell Hooks
The long-term challenges created by emotional isolation are incalculable.
Living emotionally-guarded lives is robbing men of their hope, their
aspirations, and, for millions of men, their very lives.
We are raising our boys to lack empathy.
Boys 4 and 5 years old are told to shake it off, man up, don’t be a crybaby,
and, worst of all, don’t be a girl.
This is because the Man Box devalues any form of emotional expression
traditionally deemed to be feminine.
A devastating result of this anti-feminine bias is that women, gays, and trans
people face epidemic levels of bullying, rape, misogyny, homophobia, and
violence.
416

In the 19th century, it was still ok to be close to your male friends in the
US.
The term “homosexuality” was only coined in 1869. Before that time, the
strict dichotomy between “gay” and “straight” did not yet exist.
Attraction to and sexual activity with other men was thought of as something
you did, not something you were. It was a behavior — accepted by some
cultures and considered sinful by others.
But at the turn of the 20th century, the idea of homosexuality shifted from a
practice to a lifestyle and an identity.
You did not have temptations towards a certain sin, you were a homosexual
person.
Thinking of men as either “homosexual” or “heterosexual” became common.
And this new category of identity was at the same time pathologized —
decried by psychiatrists as a mental illness, by ministers as a perversion, and
by politicians as something to be legislated against.
As this new conception of homosexuality as a stigmatized identifier took root
in American culture, men became much more careful not to send messages to
other men, and to women, that they were gay.
And this is the reason why, it is theorized, men have become less comfortable
with showing affection towards each other over the last century.
After WWII, casual touching between men in photographs decreased
precipitously. It first vanished among middle-aged men but lingered among
younger men.
In the 1950s, when homosexuality reached its peak of pathologization, young
men followed suit. They created more physical space between themselves.
While still affectionate, they began to interact with less ease and intimacy.
417

The lack of touch in men’s lives results in a higher likelihood of depression,
alcoholism, and mental and physical illness.
Put simply, touch isolation is making men’s lives less healthy and more lonely.
Source: Touch Isolation: How Homophobia Has Robbed All Men of Touch. Mark Greene
In his acclaimed breakthrough bestseller, I Don’t Want to Talk About It, Terry
Real exposes the silent epidemic of depression among men and offers hope for
ending the pain and the shame.
Men are more lonely.
Men who do not connect emotionally find it
more difficult to form lasting friendships,
typically relying on their wives or
workplaces to provide social connections.
When men divorce or leave their
workplaces, those relationships falter,
being more circumstantial than emotionally
resonant.
The results? Widespread chronic loneliness for men as they enter middle age.
One in three men aged 45 or older reported himself to be lonely or socially
isolated, according to a 2010 survey conducted by AARP.
The impact on health.
Between 1999 and 2010, suicide among men aged 35–64 rose by nearly 30%,
as reported by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Although rates have been rising for both sexes, the study found that
middle-aged men are three times likelier than women to end their own
lives—27.3 deaths versus 8.1 (per 100,000).
And the bravado facade is often a cover-up for deep insecurities.
It is the underlying sense of inferiority that is the real problem for the narcissist,
the grandiosity is just a facade used to cover the deep feelings of inadequacy.
418

IF I WAS TO SAY WHAT IS THE MAJOR EMOTION OF
AMERICAN MASCULINITY, IT IS ANXIETY. WHY?
BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO PROVE YOUR MASCULINITY
ALL THE TIME.
— Michael Kimmel
AND THIS TOXIC MASCULINITY IS NOT ONLY
HARMFUL TO MEN BUT ALSO TO
THE PEOPLE AROUND THEM
Cultures of domination attack self-esteem. And a wounded self-esteem
retaliates ten times harder.
“Abusive men have an increased sensitivity to the issue of abandonment. They
are love dependent. If the drug is flowing (woman’s warm regard) then I have
warm regard for myself. I supplement my bad self-esteem for her esteem of me.
When she separates from me, criticizes me or disappoints me in any way, I go
into withdrawal. I go into a crash, I have about two seconds’ worth of tolerance
for those feelings, and then I go up from shame into grandiosity. I bounce up into
grandiosity. Now I am an angry victim. Now I am a self-righteous victim. Now I
am a revenging angel, and I can insult or be violent. It is my right.”
NO ONE IS MORE ARROGANT TOWARD WOMEN, MORE
AGGRESSIVE OR SCORNFUL, THAN THE MAN WHO IS
ANXIOUS ABOUT HIS VIRILITY.
— Simone De Beauvoir
Psychologist Pia Mellody explains a strategy called “Offending from the
victim position.”
“You hurt me so I am the victim therefore I have the right to hurt you twice as
hard back. I have no shame or compunction about retaliating because I’m your
victim. It’s that righteous indignation, that righteous anger.”
Boys feel the need to prove themselves. One way of doing so is to sexually
harass girls, either verbally or physically, and to do so publicly.
419

While women do commit sexual violence against children, the vast
majority of rapists are men, regardless of the sex of the victim.
MOST VIOLENT PEOPLE, RAPISTS, CRIMINALS,
KILLERS, TAX AVOIDERS, CORRUPT POLITICIANS,
PLANET DESPOILERS, SEX ABUSERS AND
DINNER-PARTY BORES, DO TEND TO BE, WELL… MEN.
— Grayson Perry
Given their risky behaviors and the need to prove themselves, men have a
higher chance of being imprisoned.
United States Incarcerations by Sex, 2017.
Female inmates:
Male inmates:
12,703
172,804
6.8%
93.2%
Source: Federal Bureau of Prisons
Whenever there's a mass shooting or massacre, there's a 98% chance the
perpetrator is a man.
IT’S THIS SHIFT FROM INFERIORITY TO SUPERIORITY,
FROM INADEQUACY TO ATTACK, WHICH IS CENTRAL TO
MASCULINITY. IF WE DON’T DEAL WITH OUR TRAUMA,
WE’RE GOING TO FIND SOMEBODY TO GO ATTACK.
— Terry Real
Patriarchy and toxic masculinity are dominating America under Trump.
“In the one-up, one-down world of men, you’re either in control or being
controlled. So men don’t know much about what author and cultural historian
Riane Eisler calls "power over" to "power with." Instead, it’s always power over,
and you’re either up or down, one or the other. When women come in,
particularly if they’re critical or controlling in any way, men are really phobic
about that. They’re really paranoid about being controlled, and paranoid and
phobic about being criticized, which doesn’t make them very good listeners.”

WHAT THEY FEAR
IS BEING DOMINATED.
WHAT THEY FEAR
IS BEING OVERRUN.
— Terry Real
Mass shootings have one thing in common: toxic masculinity. But we never
talk about it.
IT'S NOT MUSLIMS OR PEOPLE WITH MENTAL HEALTH
PROBLEMS WHO ARE MOST LIKELY TO KILL YOU IN A
TERRORIST ATTACK. IT'S MEN.
But men are not naturally more violent. They are taught that violence is the
“right” way to react.
Let’s break out of the Man Box!
UNTIL WE ADDRESS
OUR INABILITY TO
OPEN UP, WE'LL
CONTINUE TO DIE
EARLY AND NEEDLESSLY.
— Jack Urwin
IF IT WOULD DESTROY
[A 12 YEAR OLD BOY]
TO BE CALLED A GIRL,
WHAT ARE WE THEN
TEACHING HIM ABOUT GIRLS?
— Tony Porter
421

SOME
SOLUTIONS
422

Speak up
More and more role models are promoting positive masculinities.
Justin Trudeau, Barack Obama, Ashton Kutcher, Ryan Gosling, and even the
Dalai Lama are calling themselves feminists. Activists like Michael Kimmel, Gary
Barker, and Jackson Katz are inviting men to take a stand.
BECAUSE MEN OF QUALITY ARE
NOT AFRAID OF EQUALITY
In the UK, the All Man series visits ultra-male
worlds to explore how contemporary masculinity
shapes the lives and expectations of men in
Britain today.
In "The Descent of Man," Grayson Perry turns around to look at men with a
clear eye and ask, “What sort of men would make the world a better place, for
everyone?”
What would happen if we rethought the old, macho, outdated version of
manhood, and embraced a different idea of what makes a man?
The solution, according to this book, is not to abandon masculinity altogether,

Counter Storytelling
but to shift it a little. Perry points to a new model of manhood, a more tender
model, embodied by Barack Obama and David Beckham.
Millennial media challenges our stereotypes.
Millennials are leading a much broader acceptance of
diversity.
This generation is witness to a collision between traditional
masculinity and a new wave, one that values intimacy,
caregiving, and nurturing.
I HAVE GREAT FAITH IN THE MILLENNIALS. THEY WILL
TAKE OVER, AND THAT TRUMPIAN MASCULINITY WILL
DECLINE WHEN THEY DO.
— Terry Real
GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO
WRITE A NEW CODE OF MANHOOD
For decades now, female writers and theorists have been dismantling their
biological gender from the perceived feminine roles that can restrict or harm
their lives. It is only recently that we have started to do this with men too, to see
a man as distinct from the concept and construct of masculinity. Maybe one of
the reasons for this is that we have a tendency to regard men as the normal
human state of things.
Source: The Guardian
424

Counter Storytelling
Bell Hooks defines feminist masculinity as integrity, self-love, emotional
awareness, assertiveness, relational skill, including the capacity to be
empathetic, autonomous, and connected.
“We need a vision of masculinity where self-esteem and self-love are at the
base of identity.
A liberated man, empathetic and strong, responsible to self, to family, friends,
society and capable of understanding.
The image of loving fatherhood embodies feminist masculinity in its most
divine form.”
We need to teach our boys about emotional intelligence.
WE NEED TO RAISE OUR SONS AS FEMINISTS
A mover and shaker behind the family therapy movement, Silverstein questions
the way boys are raised to be men in “The Courage to Raise Good Men.”
WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS A
DIFFERENT KIND OF MAN.
— Olga Silverstein
425

New Skill
Toolkit
American universities are starting to offer courses for men to deconstruct
toxic masculinities.
The Duke Men’s Project offers a
nine-week program that discusses
male privilege, patriarchy, the
language of dominance, rape
culture, pornography, machismo,
and other topics.
In Lebanon, ABAAD is
campaigning to challenge the
traditional view of masculinity.
Creating positive ideas of manhood.
Abaad Men’s Center aims to improve men’s reactions
and emotions due to daily stress, and to support
them in better dealing with and managing this stress.
Abaad runs workshops on the gender socialization
process to transform the way men and women
understand manhood and masculinities.
Program RA adapted from the Programme H manual
of Promundo Brazil gives very useful examples
of workshop exercises to raise greater awareness
among participants.
MenEngage is an alliance of NGOs
working together with men and boys to
promote gender equality.
426

Toolkit
Counter Storytelling
Promundo has been working for years in the
field of masculinity.
Promundo’s Program H manual, translated into many languages,
encourages critical reflection about rigid norms related to manhood.
Once Upon a Boy is a wordless cartoon video that tells the story of a boy
and his experiences growing up, including peer pressure, his first sexual
relationship, his first job, and becoming a father.
The video is designed to engage young men, educators, and health
professionals in critical reflections about rigid models of masculinity and how
they influence young men’s attitudes and behaviors.
In Rwanda, Brazil and elsewhere, Promundo is engaging fathers via
prenatal visits.
MenCare is a global fatherhood
campaign active in more than 40
countries on five continents. Their
mission is to promote men’s
involvement as equitable, non-violent
fathers and caregivers in order to
achieve family well-being, gender
equality, and better health for
mothers, fathers, and children.
Each year, MenCare releases the "State of
the World’s Fathers" report to engage
fathers to be more active in unpaid care.
427

Toolkit
The ManKind Project is a personal development organization that offers
life-changing experiential training and support groups for all kinds of men.
Their objective is to create a safer world by growing better men.
STRONG MEN – MEN WHO ARE TRULY ROLE MODELS
DON’T TEND TO PUT DOWN WOMEN TO MAKE
THEMSELVES FEEL POWERFUL.
— Terry Real
Lean In has produced different toolkits for male readers.
Involved fathers raise happier, healthier, and more successful children. Be an
active and involved father. Help with homework, read books together, talk
about your kids’ daily experiences and goals. You don’t have to be
perfect—you just have to be engaged.
Fathers who participate in caregiving are more patient, empathetic, and
flexible and enjoy greater job satisfaction. Being an involved father is also
linked to lower blood pressure, lower rates of cardiovascular disease, and a
longer life.
Teach your son to value intelligence and thoughtfulness over toughness.
Encourage him to respect his own feelings and have empathy for others.
Avoid language like “man up” or “be a man,” which can be as damaging to
boys as words like “bossy” and “know-it-all” can be for girls.
Model gender equality for your son by supporting the women in your life and
celebrating their achievements.
BOTH MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD FEEL FREE TO
BE SENSITIVE. BOTH MEN AND WOMEN SHOULD
FEEL FREE TO BE STRONG.
— Emma Watson
428

Visualize
Speak up
In India, the famous actor Aamir Khan launched the popular and controversial TV
show Satyamev Jayate to give visibility on mainstream media to the violence
experienced by women in the Indian society and to challenge the traditional
norms of masculinity.
Lynx, Unilever's male grooming brand, has launched "Is it ok for guys", a
search-driven campaign that reveals how men are hiding behind their screens to
ask questions they can't say out loud.
The campaign is part of Lynx’s Find your magic initiative, encouraging men to
ignore the cultural pressures and labels dictating what it means to be a man.
Getty Images partnered with Lean In to portray new images of masculinity.
Swedish dads get the most parental
leave in the world. A new photographic
exhibition shows just how much that
policy is benefiting both the dads and
their kids.
LOVING AND CARING DADS WILL
CHANGE THE WORLD
429

WHAT CAN
YOU DO?
430

Ask yourself some questions.
What does it mean for you to be a man?
Which stereotypes have been harmful to you?
Is there anything you would like to change about the way boys are raised?
Which change would you like to contribute to?
Ending patriarchy is actually a way to liberate men.
Read some books by Bell Hooks, Michael Kimmel, Grayson Perry, Riane
Eisler, or Michael Kauffmann.
Offer those books to your male friends, fathers, brothers, lovers.
Watch some TED Talks (Roxanne Gay, Michael Kimmel, Jackson Katz,
Tony Porter).
Read Promundo reports.
Download the Lean In manuals.
Implement the Program H or Program RA workshop in your
class/university/family.
Watch movies or read books with alternative visions of masculinity.
Join a men’s group near your home or create one. Question traditional
masculinity with your friends. Have an open conversation about it.
Learn nurturance skills.
Be a feminist father who protects, shelters and nurtures his children.
431

Ask for help. Seek counseling.
Set up a love school! We need to teach men how to love themselves and
others!
Express your love to your children, partner, parents, and friends.
Learn to share your fears and vulnerabilities to better express your
emotions and to analyze your anger.
Be vocal about being a feminist man.
Raise your son to be a feminist.
It’s all about love.
35 practical tools for men to further the feminist revolution, from
Pamela Clark.
1 Do 50% (or more) of housework.
2
Do 50% (or more) of emotional support work in your intimate
relationships and friendships.
3 Consume cultural products produced by women.
4 Give women space...
5
6
...but insert yourself into spaces where you can use your maleness to
interrupt sexism.
When a woman tells you something is sexist, believe her.
432

7
8
9
10
Educate yourself about sexual consent and make sure there is clear,
unambiguous communication of consent in all your sexual
relationships.
Be responsible for contraception.
Get the HPV vaccine.
Have progressive name politics.
11
If you have children, be an equal parent.
12 Pay attention to and challenge informal instances of gender role
enforcement.
13
14
Be mindful of implicit and explicit gendered power differentials in your
intimate/ domestic relationships with women whether a partner or
family members or roommates.
Make sure that honesty and respect guide your romantic and sexual
relationships with women.
15 Don’t be an online bystander in the face of sexism.
16 Be responsible with money in domestic/romantic relationships.
17 Be responsible for your own health.
18
19
Don’t ogle or make comments about women. (i.e., Keep your tongue in
your mouth and comments to yourself.)
Pay attention to the sex of experts and key figures presenting
information to you in the media.
20 Ensure that some of your heroes and role models are women.
21 Praise the virtues and accomplishments of women in your life to
others.
433

22 Have integrity with your male friends. (i.e., Don’t be a “bro.”)
23
24
Don’t treat your spouse like a “nag.” If she is “nagging,” you are
probably lagging.
Know that acknowledging your own sexist opinions and stereotypes
you hold is not enough. Do something about them.
25 Befriend women.
26 Find female mentors/leaders. (i.e., Be subordinate to women.)
27
When in a romantic relationship, be responsible for events and special
dates associated with your side of the family.
28 Don’t police women’s appearance.
29
Offer to accompany female friends if they have to walk home alone at
night…or in a public space where they may be likely to feel unsafe.
30 Inject feminism into your daily conversations with other men.
31 If you have a tendency to behave inappropriately toward women when
you are under the influence of drugs or alcohol, do not consume drugs
or alcohol.
32
Be aware of the physical and emotional space you occupy, and don’t
take up more space than you need.
33 Walk the walk about income inequality.
34
Get in the habit of treating your maleness as an unearned privilege that
you have to actively work to cede rather than femaleness being an
unearned disadvantage that women have to work to overcome.
35 Self-identify as a feminist.
Reprinted with permission from: PamelaClark.tumblr.com
434

MAYBE THERE IS ROOM
FOR ALL KINDS OF
MASCULINITY,
INCLUDING
TOUGH GUYS,
AS LONG AS
EVERYONE IS KIND
TO EACH OTHER.
— Grayson Perry
435

EMOTIONS HAVE
NO GENDER
436

Conclusion
437

We hope that, by now, you are convinced to join the movement and to
balance the world with us!
Any country that wants to develop can't leave half of its population behind.
THE BUSINESS CASE
FOR GENDER EQUITY
Research by the World Economic Forum (WEF) proves that GDP per capita
correlates directly to the Global Gender Gap.
INVESTING IN WOMEN IS NOT ONLY THE RIGHT THING
TO DO, BUT ALSO THE SMART THING TO DO.
— Hillary Clinton
One billion women (The Third Billion) will enter the global economy in the coming
decade.
And this significant untapped market will have a large impact on GDP.
438

This is called “Womenomics.”
The term "Womenomics" applies to a concept Shipman
and Kay coined for what they see as an upcoming
paradigm shift in the way individuals and companies
approach work.
This shift is due to an increase in the value of women in
the workforce and changing attitudes of women towards
balancing work and personal life.
WOMEN’S EMPOWERMENT IS NOT JUST A
FUNDAMENTALLY MORAL CAUSE, IT IS ALSO
AN ABSOLUTE ECONOMIC NO-BRAINER.
— Christine Laguarde, IMF Director
And even Japan is following the trend given their shrinking workforce.
“Gender equality is very contrary to the Japanese way of doing things, but the
math does not add up on human capital. The job market is already tight and has
become over-tight,” says Kathy Matsui, Goldman Sachs Chief Japan Strategies.
Source: Financial Times
WHEN WOMEN
DO BETTER,
ECONOMIES
DO BETTER.
— Christine Laguarde, IMF Director
According to
McKinsey Global
Institute, advancing
women's equality can
add $12 trillion to
global growth.

Yet, we’d better be patient…
Global gender gap will take 100 years to close, says 2017 edition of Global
Gender Gap report by WEF. And the most alarming is that disparities between
men and women have widened for first time in more than a decade!
Some even talk about 170 years…
Around the world, the distance from
gender parity is still between 25
and 39%.
The world is changing, but not
fast enough.
Source: Ernst & Young. Women Fast Forward.
BRINGING GENDER JUSTICE
TO THE NEXT LEVEL
Sometimes, I lose faith.
When I see the limited impact of some of the most committed activists versus
the media impact of some world leaders. When I see the budget allocated to
“women’s issues” when the same women represent 52% of the global
population. When the funding priorities do not even align with objective bottom
line benefits.
Sometimes, I am even afraid.
I fear that we are actually going backwards.
And sometimes I dream.
I dream that we invest in gender justice much more than we invest in military
spending. I dream of a world where, as Sheryl Sandberg says, half of our
institutions are run by women and half of our homes are run by men. I dream of
schools talking about gender stereotypes, sex education, and sexual abuse.
Universities offering gender studies classes as part of the core curriculum. A
world where sexist ads and insulting songs are banned from the mainstream
media. A world where sexual offenders are actually convicted. A world where
girls and boys are free to develop their full potential. A world where respect and
440

love are at the base of our economy.
In this book, we have shared with you dozens of initiatives, from grassroots
projects to corporate strategies.
I would love to see them adapted and replicated around the world.
So, feel free to pick some and test them in your local community!
LARGE SCALE FEMINISM
Imagine scaling Harassmap in 50 to 100 countries around the world! Imagine
financing the production of blockbusters that pass the Bechdel test! Imagine
investing in feminism at the same scale as Rocket Internet is reproducing
successful start-ups in emerging countries!
My dream: launch an impact-investment fund focused on gender-justice
projects. We could invest in or replicate successful projects, such as:
Bootcamp training for future
female angel investors
Solo-traveler travel agency
Children’s books of inspiring
female leaders of each country
Academy for young female
athletes
Gender-neutral toys
Digital coaching programs
Production company dedicated to
movies and series with
female-driven stories
Feminist TV channel
Coding schools, science
workshops, and maker spaces
Fem tech initiatives
Feminist porn
Leadership webinars and
online education tools
Sex education web series
App limiting unconscious
bias in hiring
Educational and inspiring comics
441

Educational series for kids
Sexual assault prevention apps
Products illustrated
with powerful women
App geolocalizing
street harassment
Online toolkits and legal
advice on violence cases
Household and child
management training
for males and females
Self-defense studio
Inclusive speakers bureau
In the meantime, we can all start working at our individual level.
In a world that has taught women that their value is limited, self-love is already
revolutionary.
So if you identify as a woman, know that you are worthy.
Point out sexism when you see it and encourage people to think critically
about it.
If you have children or you work with children, find teachable moments and
instill a belief in gender equality.
Make your home a space where men and women have equal rights, and equal
duties.
Raise your children with the message that their gender does not entitle or
deny them certain privileges.
Catch yourself and stop yourself when you judge other women unfairly.
Read as much as you can.
Talk about feminist issues with the women you come in contact with.
Let the men around you know when they sound sexist, or behave in a sexist
manner.
Source: 6 WAYS TO BE A FEMINIST IN YOUR DAILY LIFE. Sareeta of Flight & Scarlet.
442

NEVER DOUBT THAT A
SMALL GROUP OF THOUGHTFUL,
COMMITTED CITIZENS CAN
CHANGE THE WORLD;
INDEED, IT'S THE ONLY
THING THAT EVER HAS.
— Margaret Mead
Today, more than ever, we have a duty of activism. Questioning our learned
patterns at individual level, the words we use, the music we listen to, the movies
we watch, our daily behaviors. To question classical codes of manhood in
parenting, ads, or sports. And we have a collective duty to spread the light. To
spread the love. To strive for peace and balance.
We need to transform our system from a dominator to a partnership structure.
Question the oppressor within us.
A new world is possible based on trust and love. We need a critical mass of new
stories to create a new archetype. Because the achievement of full equality
between both sexes is the prerequisite for world peace.
It is a vital quest. A spiritual one. So that we can all find peace and balance.
443

444

ABOUT
THE AUTHOR

Aurélie Salvaire is a French social entrepreneur who has been working in the
social innovation field for 10 years, collaborating with Oxfam, Ashoka,
Unreasonable Institute and Impact Hub.
She founded and curated different TEDx events, including TEDxBarcelona-
Women. She is passionate about storytelling and how new stories can empower
individuals and balance the world. She founded The A Factor, which runs
workshops and events in places as diverse as Beirut and Nairobi. She spends
much of her time training women entrepreneurs in the Middle East and beyond,
from Tunisia to Iran or Pakistan.
She is also a frequent speaker, promoting greater diversity and shedding light on
lingering stereotypes through the Shiftbalance platform.
Shiftbalance is a think-and-do-tank sparking conversations about the need for
a more balanced society.
It is a positive activism platform wishing to renew the conversation around
feminism in particular and gender balance in general. Making it more fun, more
inclusive, more visual and creative.
Our mission: to collect, produce, and spread information on everyday sexism
and existing solutions!
Our objective: transform each of us into a balancemaker!
Contact us: shiftbalance@shiftbalance.org
446

BIBLIOGRAPHY
447

Here is a selection of cool feminist books you might be interested in. From
deep theory to fun comics, you can learn more! Understanding is the first
step to changing the world!
The Chalice and the Blade: Our History, Our Future. Riane Eisler.
The Power of Partnership: Seven Relationships that Will Change Your Life.
Riane Eisler.
The Real Wealth of Nations: Creating a Caring Economics. Riane Eisler.
The Creation of Patriarchy. Gerda Lerner.
We Should All Be Feminists. Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie.
Bad Feminist: Essays. Roxane Gay.
Goddesses in Everywoman: Powerful Archetypes in Women's Lives. Jean
Shinoda.
Feminism Is for Everybody: Passionate Politics. Bell hooks.
Ain't I a Woman: Black Women and Feminism. Bell hooks.
Separate and Dominate: Feminism and Racism after the War on Terror.
Christine Delphy.
King Kong theory. Virginie Despentes.
The Second Sex. Simone de Beauvoir.
Do it Like a Woman... and Change the World. Caroline Criado-Perez.
Men Explain Things to Me. Rebecca Solnit.
The Second Shift: Working Families and the Revolution at Home. Arlie
Hochschild, Anne Machung.
We Were Feminists Once: From Riot Grrrl to CoverGirl ® , the Buying and
Selling of a Political Movement. Andi Zeisler.
Free Women, Free Men: Sex, Gender, Feminism. Camille Paglia.
Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation and Positive
Strategies for Change. Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever.
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead. Sheryl Sandberg.
Why Loiter?: Women and Risk on Mumbai Streets. Shilpa Phadke, Sameera
Khan & Shilpa Ranade.
Everyday Sexism: The Project that Inspired a Worldwide Movement. Laura
Bates.
The Beauty Myth: How Images of Beauty are Used Against Women. Naomi
Wolf.
The Atlas of Beauty: Women of the World in 500 Portraits. Mihaela Noroc.
Face Value: The Hidden Ways Beauty Shapes Women's Lives. Autumn
Whitefield-Madrano.
Womenomics: Work Less, Achieve More, Live Better. Claire Shipman and
Katty Kay.
The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance. What Women

Should Know. Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.
I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will
People Think?" to "I Am Enough”. Brené Brown.
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We
Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Brené Brown.
Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges. Amy Cuddy.
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom. Don Miguel
Ruiz and Janet Mills.
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life. Marshall B. Rosenberg PhD
and Deepak Chopra.
Unsuitable for Ladies: An Anthology of Women Travellers. Jane Robinson.
Sport in Capitalist Society: A Short History. Tony Collins.
Run Like a Girl: How Strong Women Make Happy Lives. Mina Samuels.
The New Soft War on Women: How the Myth of Female Ascendance Is
Hurting Women, Men and Our Economy. Caryl Rivers, Rosalind C. Barnett.
Feminist Fight Club: A Survival Manual for a Sexist Workplace. Jessica
Bennett.
Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters.
Jessica Valenti.
Women of The Street: Why Female Money Managers Generate Higher Returns
(and How You Can Too). M. Jones.
Reset: My Fight for Inclusion and Lasting Change. Ellen Pao.
Asking for It. Louise O'Neill.
The Vagina Monologues. Eve Ensler.
Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. Judith Butler.
The End of Men. And the Rise of Women. Hanna Rosin.
Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman
Archetype. Clarissa Pinkola Estés.
Radical Feminist Therapy: Working in the Context of Violence. Bonnie
Burstow.
About religion
When God Was a Woman. Merlin Stone.
The Woman’s Bible. Elizabeth Cady Stanton.
Qur'an and Woman: Rereading the Sacred Text from a Woman's Perspective.
Amina Wadud.
Women and Gender in Islam: Historical Roots of a Modern Debate. Leila
Ahmed.
449

About education
Parenting Beyond Pink & Blue: How to Raise Your Kids Free of Gender
Stereotypes. Christia Spears Brown.
The Courage to Raise Good Men: You Don't Have to Sever the Bond with Your
Son to Help Him Become a Man. Olga Silverstein, Beth Rashbaum.
Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New
Girlie-Girl Culture. Peggy Orenstein.
Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape. Peggy Orenstein.
Delusions of Gender: The Real Science Behind Sex Differences. Cordelia Fine.
For your male friends
The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. Bell Hooks.
Gods in Everyman: Archetypes That Shape Men's Lives. Jean Shinoda Bolen.
King, Warrior, Magician, Lover: Rediscovering the Archetypes of the Mature
Masculine. Robert Moore, Douglas Gillette.
Man Up: Surviving Modern Masculinity. Jack Urwin.
Guyland: The Perilous World Where Boys Become Men. Michael Kimmel.
Angry White Men: American Masculinity at the End of an Era. Michael Kimmel.
I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male
Depression. Terrence Real.
The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and and How All Men Can
Help. Jackson Katz.
Breaking Out of the "Man Box": The Next Generation of Manhood. Tony
Porter.
The Descent of Man. Grayson Perry.
The Guy's Guide to Feminism. Michael Kaufman and Michael Kimmel.
From Frazzled to Fabulous: How to Juggle a Successful Career, Fatherhood,
Me-Time and Looking Good. MAN WHO HAS IT ALL.
And some books in French
La ville faite par et pour les hommes. Dans l’espace urbain, une mixité en
trompe l’œil. Yves Raibaud.
Les Femmes ou les Silences de l'Histoire. Michelle Perrot.
Ainsi soit-elle. Benoite Groult.
Commando culotte: Les dessous du genre et de la pop-culture. Mirion Malle.
Culottées. Des femmes qui ne font ce qu'elles veulent. Pénélope Bagieu.
450

Documentaries
The Mask You Live In
The Hunting Ground
The Invisible War
Miss Representation
FEMINISM IS A COLLECTIVE
ADVENTURE, FOR WOMEN, MEN AND
EVERYONE ELSE. A REVOLUTION,
WELL UNDER WAY. A WORLDVIEW.
A CHOICE. IT'S NOT A MATTER OF
CONTRASTING WOMEN'S SMALL
ADVANTAGES WITH MEN'S SMALL ASSETS,
BUT OF SENDING THE WHOLE LOT FLYING.
— Virginie Despentes. King Kong Theory.
451

Thank you
This book would have never seen the light without the support of many people
that I am grateful to have met.
Thank you to the Pakistan based design team, including Tashfeen Ahmed, Komal
Ashfaq, Hamza Tariq, Ahsan Qureshi, Usama Tauqeer, Moazzam Adil, for their
outstanding work!
A special thank you to Saad Hasnain for compiling the entire book.
Thank you to all the creative designers who kindly allowed us to use their work.
Thank you to Justin Sachs, Simone Alexander, Anna Cabó and Nisa Mac Mahon
for thorough proofreading.
Thank you to Najam Ul Assar for his patience and unconditional support.
Thank you for reading the book. We hope you enjoyed it and feel free to
share it!
452

This is a feminist guide for millennials.
Here are some concrete examples from all around the world to
shift the balance and contribute to making it a better place.
This fun and visual guidebook will give you necessary tools to
effectively navigate this seemingly controversial topic and provide
you with concrete examples of best in class strategies.
I invite you to be part of the gender revolution!
Let’s Shift The
Balance Together!