innovatED Magazine - Issue 4 - Spring 2020

4. Building strong and positive relationships with your
pupils.
People used to say you are not there to be the child’s
friend. I do agree. However, a classroom doesn’t thrive
on hate or fear. Yes, we all want respect but not by
scaring children. I have seen teachers bully and shame
pupils. I have seen teachers belittle the child in front of
his peers. I have seen teachers scream and shout. This
does not work. You will get more out of children if they
like and respect you.
I use a lot of humour in my class. I think I am funny, but
the kids do tell me off for the constant “dad jokes”
which, in itself, is an ongoing joke! On a serious note, if
there is a child whose behaviour is particularly
problematic, I ask them about their weekend. I find out
about their interests, do a bit of background research so
that we have some common ground.
One boy in my class was causing major problems in
school. I found out he loved drawing and motorbikes.
Not only did we develop a mutual respect for one
another, we also shared some great chats about
motorbikes and I bought some motorbike magazines,
colouring books and mindfulness activities. When he
completed his work, he could research motorbikes,
make PowerPoint presentations and draw motorbikes.
Those major problems quickly reduced in severity and
frequency and the respect he showed for my authority
as a teacher was much improved.
In addition to their current interest, I also find out
everything I can about a child’s background. Do they
have an EHC plan? Has there been any history of abuse?
Have they been in and are still in care? Do they come
from a deprived area? Finding these things out can
really help you in supporting them. If a child looks upset
in the morning, then give them time out to speak to
somebody. This could be yourself or a chosen adult
they have a strong relationship with. If a child regularly
arrives at school having had no breakfast, allowing time
for them to have some breakfast would mean a lot to
that child. It would show that you cared.
Very few children, if any, actually want to misbehave.
They want to know that we care, that we provide
consistency, clarity and security. Some just need more
convincing than others.
Small steps at a steady pace will lead to long term
success. Give it time. It’s our job to try and try again and
show children that persistence and resilience will lead
to achievement and success •
Daniel Storey is an experienced SEMH
Teacher who has worked in a boys
primary SEMH school for over 10 years.
The school has had two outstanding
Ofsted inspections in that time.
Daniel has had extensive training on
Attachment Disorder, ADHD and ASD. He
also has a primary PGCE, PGCE in SEN,
Diploma in education and a Masters in
SEN. He has expertise in behaviour
management and has a substantial
number of strategies and interventions
that have been successful in supporting
children with their range of behavioural
problems and disorders.
We all want a happy life. We all crave good
relationships with parents, friends, loved ones and
family. This is all children want. They want to be listened
to, given praise and given confidence. I, for one, love it
when I am praised by my fiance for putting the bins out
or when my Headteacher tells me he has seen a huge
turnaround in a child’s behaviour. I also understand the
feeling of having a child or two in class who make you
want to tear your hair out, after all we are only human.
But it is important to remember that our pupils are only
children.
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