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NG14 January/February 2020

Local business directory and community diary.

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Cat’s Crackers<br />

Top Tips<br />

WINNING ENTRY<br />

Stick Free<br />

Use mayonnaise straight from the jar to remove sticky<br />

label residue from plastics. Smear over for 15 mins and then<br />

rinse with water. No more sticky label – who knew? A Price<br />

PEACEFUL SLEEP<br />

Rub Vicks on the soles of your feet & wear socks<br />

in bed to stop night time coughing.<br />

J Fletcher<br />

FRESH DRAINS<br />

Put left over small pieces of soap in your drain.<br />

Helps clean it and stops smells too!<br />

C Alton<br />

STREAK FREE<br />

To keep bathroom mirrors steam free rub a bar<br />

of dry soap over it…then buff with a dry cloth.<br />

A Pearl<br />

CRISP GREENS<br />

To keep greens fresh for a long time put them in a<br />

container, line it with paper towels and put it in the<br />

fridge. This will keep them fresh for over ten days!<br />

I Toor<br />

STEAM FRESH<br />

Mix a tablespoon of white wine vinegar with water<br />

in a microwaveable bowl and turn on for 3 minutes.<br />

Remove bowl and any dirt should wipe off!<br />

unknown<br />

TopJokes<br />

Why did the lady put lipstick on her forehead?<br />

She wanted to make her mind up!<br />

Miss Palmer<br />

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows to high<br />

She looked surprised!<br />

K Palmer<br />

Why are cats so good at video games?<br />

Because they have 9 lives!<br />

R Hawkins<br />

Why is tennis a noisy game?<br />

Because each player raises a racket!<br />

P Bell<br />

What do you call two bananas on the floor?<br />

A pair of slippers<br />

I Toor<br />

Why can elephants swim wherever they like?<br />

They always have their trunks<br />

Unknown<br />

What do you call a prawn who eats the last sucker?<br />

Shellfish<br />

F Spencer<br />

Two parrots are sitting on a perch.<br />

One says to the other “do you smell fish?”<br />

D Cox<br />

WIN A £20 ONE 4 ALL VOUCHER<br />

Send me your top tip or joke for inclusion in the next mag.<br />

The best one will win a £20 One 4 All voucher!<br />

Send your entries to: Jokes/Top Tips, NG Magazines,<br />

5a Stanhope Crescent, Arnold, Nottingham, NG5 7AZ<br />

or email: cat@ngmagazines.org.uk and include your name, address & tel no.

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