NG14 January/February 2020
Local business directory and community diary.
Local business directory and community diary.
Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
Cat’s Crackers<br />
Top Tips<br />
WINNING ENTRY<br />
Stick Free<br />
Use mayonnaise straight from the jar to remove sticky<br />
label residue from plastics. Smear over for 15 mins and then<br />
rinse with water. No more sticky label – who knew? A Price<br />
PEACEFUL SLEEP<br />
Rub Vicks on the soles of your feet & wear socks<br />
in bed to stop night time coughing.<br />
J Fletcher<br />
FRESH DRAINS<br />
Put left over small pieces of soap in your drain.<br />
Helps clean it and stops smells too!<br />
C Alton<br />
STREAK FREE<br />
To keep bathroom mirrors steam free rub a bar<br />
of dry soap over it…then buff with a dry cloth.<br />
A Pearl<br />
CRISP GREENS<br />
To keep greens fresh for a long time put them in a<br />
container, line it with paper towels and put it in the<br />
fridge. This will keep them fresh for over ten days!<br />
I Toor<br />
STEAM FRESH<br />
Mix a tablespoon of white wine vinegar with water<br />
in a microwaveable bowl and turn on for 3 minutes.<br />
Remove bowl and any dirt should wipe off!<br />
unknown<br />
TopJokes<br />
Why did the lady put lipstick on her forehead?<br />
She wanted to make her mind up!<br />
Miss Palmer<br />
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows to high<br />
She looked surprised!<br />
K Palmer<br />
Why are cats so good at video games?<br />
Because they have 9 lives!<br />
R Hawkins<br />
Why is tennis a noisy game?<br />
Because each player raises a racket!<br />
P Bell<br />
What do you call two bananas on the floor?<br />
A pair of slippers<br />
I Toor<br />
Why can elephants swim wherever they like?<br />
They always have their trunks<br />
Unknown<br />
What do you call a prawn who eats the last sucker?<br />
Shellfish<br />
F Spencer<br />
Two parrots are sitting on a perch.<br />
One says to the other “do you smell fish?”<br />
D Cox<br />
WIN A £20 ONE 4 ALL VOUCHER<br />
Send me your top tip or joke for inclusion in the next mag.<br />
The best one will win a £20 One 4 All voucher!<br />
Send your entries to: Jokes/Top Tips, NG Magazines,<br />
5a Stanhope Crescent, Arnold, Nottingham, NG5 7AZ<br />
or email: cat@ngmagazines.org.uk and include your name, address & tel no.