Parenta Magazine February 2020

Issue 63 

FEBRUARY 2020 

FREE 

Industry 

Experts 

The importance and 

benefits of messy play 

The power of signing 

and singing 

Neurotypical 

narratives 

+ lots more 

Help build a 

pre-school 

for children in deprived 

areas of the world 

page 8 

National 

Storytelling Week 

National Storytelling Week celebrates all things storytelling, including folk tales, 

fairy lore, phantoms, serpents, storms, dragons, and anything that can transform 

from a figment of someone’s imagination. 

CHILDREN’S MENTAL HEALTH • LGBT HISTORY MONTH • NATIONAL APPRENTICESHIP WEEK

Narratives 

Joanna Grace asks if 

neurotypical paradigms 

are damaging people on 

the autistic spectrum and 

delves into the danger 

of gender stereotypes in 

children’s stories. 

Emotions 

hello 

welcome to our family 

34 

Tamsin Grimmer 

discusses why using 

an emotion coaching 

approach is a great way 

to de-escalate situations 

and support the children 

in your setting. 

Hello and welcome to the February edition of the Parenta magazine! 

If January is anything to go by, we are sure to be in for a wet winter! 

What better time than now, to spruce-up and make cosy your ‘story corner’ and encourage everyone in your setting to 

get involved with National Storytelling week, running from 1-8 February. As nursery professionals, you already know the 

educational importance of stories and how they tie into the EYFS, so… if you’re sitting comfortably, turn to page 10 and we 

shall begin! 

Last month, we took a look at the different ways children as young as toddlers can benefit from having quiet, reflective time and even yoga 

and meditation. The mental wellbeing of these young children in our care is of paramount importance and has been the subject of much 

news coverage in recent years. This month, Children’s Mental Health Week, running from 3-9 February highlights the increasing concern about 

children’s mental health which, according to statistics, has deteriorated over recent years. 

On pages 31 and 32 – we celebrate all things apprenticeships as we take our annual dive into National Apprenticeship Week and explore ways 

for employers and learners to get involved. We talk to some of our own learners and find out what it means to them to be a Parenta apprentice. 

Congratulations to Joanna Grace, our guest author of the month for December. Her article “Alternative Sensory Spaces” gives some costeffective 

ideas on how to create a sensory space within your setting without breaking the bank. If you’ve got a topic you’d like to write about, 

why not send an article to us and be in with a chance of winning a £50 voucher! 

To celebrate Valentine’s Day on 14th February, we have a wonderful craft for the children to make – a special sign language “I love you” card. 

This craft allows the children to use child-friendly scissors and is a great way to practice their fine motor skills. 

All the news stories, advice, and craft activities in your free Parenta magazine have been written to help you with the efficient running of your 

setting and to promote the health, happiness and wellbeing of the children in your care. Please feel free to share with friends, parents and 

colleagues. 

Have a great month and please do send in photos of your Valentine’s card craft! 

Allan 

12 

Signing & Singing 

20 

Galina Zenin explains that signing and 

singing go beyond inclusivity, adding 

another powerful dimension to the way 

we communicate. 

FEBRUARY 2020 ISSUE 63 

IN THIS EDITION 

Regulars 

24 Write for us for a chance to win £50! 

24 Guest author winner announced 

26 Rainbow packed lunch idea! 

27 Sign language ‘I love you’ card 

38 What our customers say 

News 

4 Early years news & views 

6 “Childcare means caring for families, not just 

children” - says Cheshire nursery 

7 Double success for UK’s largest early years 

training provider 

8 Parenta Trust news 

Advice 

10 National Storytelling Week 

14 Children’s Mental Health Week 

19 Book review of “What’s My Child Thinking” by 

Tanith Carey 

22 How to deal with rude people 

31 National Apprenticeship Week is here! 

32 National Apprenticeship Week 2020 – let’s 

celebrate our learners! 

36 LGBT History Month 

Industry Experts 

12 Using an emotion coaching approach and not 

making mountains out of molehills! 

16 The importance and benefits of messy play 

20 The power of signing and singing 

28 Processing feelings and emotions in early years 

34 Neurotypical narratives 

National Storytelling Week 10 

How to deal with rude people 22 

Rainbow packed lunch idea! 26 

Gina Smith shares the importance and benefits of messy play 16

Early years news & views 

Early years 

news & views 

There is no need to 

teach phonics before 

reception, says Ofsted 

Ofsted have said there is “no 

expectation” that early years providers 

should teach phonics before children 

reach reception, reports Tes. Ofsted’s 

specialist adviser on the early years and 

primary school, Phil Minns, revealed 

that Ofsted is aware that the reading 

method is taught to some children 

before they start school. Mr Minns told 

Tes: “In the first four years of the EYFS, 

we wouldn’t necessarily see phonics, 

and we wouldn’t expect phonics to 

be taught. We know that some places 

choose to teach phonics early on, but we 

would hope that that’s always because 

those children are ready for it, and it’s 

done appropriately, and it’s done in 

negotiation with [whichever] school or 

setting they are moving on to. So it’s 

actually part of a curriculum.” 

Read more here. 

Duchess of Cambridge 

launches nationwide 

survey on development 

of under-fives 

The survey will ask “five big questions 

on the under-fives” which will guide her 

future work, after she made the subject 

one of her main focusses. The online poll 

is conducted by Ipsos Mori. on behalf of 

the Royal Foundation. It is thought to be 

the biggest survey of its kind and aims to 

encourage a nationwide conversation on 

early childhood. 

The nursery where the 

children are studied by 

scientists 

Stirling University houses the UK’s 

only “research kindergarten”. The 

childcare facility is based in the 

psychology department and children 

are often observed by researchers 

and students. Recently the team ran 

a pilot intergenerational scheme with 

adults living with dementia, in which 

the children enjoyed music sessions, art 

and gardening. Dr Line Caes, lecturer 

in psychology at Stirling, said: “Our 

pilot demonstrated that it is possible 

to bring together these two vulnerable 

populations. While previous studies have 

brought together young children and 

older people, this is the first to assess 

the impact of nursery-aged children and 

adults living with dementia meeting in a 

new environment for both groups.” 


From as young as 4, 

children see males as 

more powerful than 

females 

As early as 4 years old, children 

associate power and masculinity, even 

in countries considered to be more 

egalitarian, like Norway. This is what 

scientists at the Institut des Sciences 

Cognitives Marc Jeannerod (CNRS/ 

Université Claude Bernard Lyon 1) report, 

in collaboration with the Universities of 

Oslo (Norway), Lausanne and Neuchâtel 

(Switzerland), in a study published 

on 7 January 2020 in Sex Roles. They 

also show that in some situations the 

power-masculinity association does not 

manifest in girls. 

Read the report here. 

Education doesn’t start 

at 5 and end at 16 

Amanda Spielman acknowledges 

that education does not start at 5 and 

end at 16. The Ofsted Chief Inspector 

launched Ofsted’s annual report on 21st 

January. The report recognises that the 

work of nurseries and childminders is 

a fine balance between education and 

care and it can sometimes be hard to 

separate the two. Spielman said, “We 

know that many nurseries are very 

good at caring for children and keeping 

them safe – and quite rightly. But we 

have always championed learning at a 

young age and, with the new inspection 

framework in place, we are seeing more 

discussions about what an early years 

curriculum should be aiming to achieve.” 

5 ways to get more men into EYFS 

There is a major gender imbalance within the early years sector. In January, Tes 

shared 5 easy steps you can take to address it: 

1 

2 

3 

4 

5 

Be clear on why you want men to work in your setting 

Focus your strategy on improving representation; you want your workforce to 

better represent the community it serves, not because you want men to bring a 

special gendered ingredient. 

Put yourself in men’s shoes 

“Feminised” job titles such as “nursery nurse” could be off-putting (or at least 

not encouraging) to potential male team members. “Early years practitioner” 

and “early years educator” sound much more professional and gender-neutral. 

Prepare your team 

Keep an eye on sexist workplace “banter”: talk about men not being good at 

multi-tasking, being “useless” with children or women being better at caring 

should be challenged, for example. 

Take positive action 

It is not uncommon for employers to include a statement in job adverts saying 

they welcome applications from people in under-represented groups (in this 

case, men), this is permitted in the UK under the Equality Act. Take steps to 

encourage men to apply; you could hold an open day targeted at men. 

Reach out 

Start having conversations with men and boys about what they could bring to 

the early years sector. Actively encourage their interest in taking up careers in 

early years and education to increase the chances of gender diversity now and 

in the future. 


Parents 

can get an 

interest 

free loan to 

help with 

childcare 

costs 

A new childcare employee benefit scheme, Catapillr, has launched claiming that it can help 

parents cope with the increasing costs of childcare. Families can face paying up to £12,000 

a year for a full-time place for a two-year-old. 

The online portal, created by Catapillr, enables companies to provide financial support for 

their employees’ childcare costs. It is a similar concept to workers buying their season ticket 

via an interest-free loan at work, with payments deducted at payday. Through the scheme, 

parents are able to borrow to pay for childcare via a 12-month, interest-free loan. 


Read the report here. 


4 February 2020 | parenta.com 

parenta.com | February 2020 5

“Childcare means caring for 

families, not just children” - 

says Cheshire nursery 

“Childcare means caring for 

families, not just children” 

- says Cheshire nursery 

A day nursery in the heart of Hale, Cheshire, has now won multiple awards for their 

dedication to children’s health and wellbeing, as well as partnerships with parents 

and carers. These achievements have not only demonstrated a focus on caring for 

children, but nurturing relationships with all the family. 

Double success for UK’s largest 

early years training provider 

Double success for UK’s 

largest early years training provider 

Parenta Training started 2020 with not one, but two successful outcomes under its 

belt – from an Ofsted inspection and from a matrix Standard audit. 

Last year was a huge year for Elmscot 

Broussa Day Nursery and Nursery 

School. The childcare setting achieved 

four prestigious awards for their 

commitment to providing the best start 

for children under five. These awards 

were presented for the nutritious food 

provided and for special educational 

needs provision – in addition to the 

incredible partnerships they build with 

parents and families. 

The Food for Life Award from the Soil 

Association and Trafford’s Healthy 

Setting Award that the nursery 

achieves year-on-year, are given to 

childcare settings that demonstrate 

they provide healthy, varied menus, 

as well as emotional support and the 

best opportunities for effective physical 

activity for children in their care. 

Being reaccredited has allowed Elmscot 

Broussa to show parents and the 

local community that the health and 

wellbeing of children continues to be of 

utmost priority. 

Trafford’s Giving Voice Award and the 

Leading Parent Partnership Award (LPPA) 

are specialist awards that focus on 

special education needs and working 

in partnership with families. They are 

achieved through having effective 

communication strategies accessible by 

all children, as well as ensuring parents 

and carers are involved in their child’s 

learning by working together with the 

childcare setting. 

Elmscot Broussa has been awarded 

the Giving Voice Bronze Award after 

ensuring a designated Communication 

Champion and Special Education Needs 

Coordinator are in place. These roles 

have been provided with extensive 

training and have attended advanced 

courses in communication, speech and 

language. 

For the LPPA, the team showed they 

fully supported and included families in 

their child’s development and learning 

while at nursery. Clear guidance, 

smooth transitions and home links were 

all integral areas in this achievement. 

“We love building bonds with local 

families,” said Annette Derby, Nursery 

Manager at Elmscot Broussa Day 

Nursery and Nursery School. 

“This is something the team and I have 

always continued with every day and 

gaining these awards is a way for 

us to demonstrate this to the wider 

community. Being recognised for our 

hard work and dedication is fantastic 

and we will keep working towards 

further improving the care we provide. 

“We believe the true meaning of 

childcare means caring for families, 

not just children within the setting. This 

ensures the best outcome for the child 

and families have the confidence and 

security in our abilities to care for and 

nurture their child.” 

Elmscot Broussa Day Nursery and 

Nursery School is part of Elmscot Group, 

which provides exceptional childcare 

and education to over 1,800 children 

across Cheshire. 

The UK’s largest training provider of 

early years childcare apprenticeships 

passed its Ofsted inspection, achieving 

‘reasonable progress’ across the 

board – an impressive outcome for 

a first inspection under Ofsted’s new 

Education Inspection Framework (EIF). 

For a training provider, ‘reasonable 

progress’ indicates that a provider is 

not only taking actions that are having 

a beneficial impact on apprentices, 

but making improvements that are 

sustainable and ensuring that these are 

based on thorough quality assurance 

procedures. 

In the official report, remarks from 

Ofsted include the fact that the vision 

at Parenta is very clear: to support Early 

Years provision and to develop well 

qualified apprentices. It notes that the 

leadership and management teams 

have worked hard to ensure expert 

knowledge and skills are also being 

developed and supported through its 

Continuing Professional Development 

(CPD), in addition to the core 

apprenticeship. The report identified 

that leaders have ensured that early 

identification of Additional Learning 

Support (ALS) requirements enables 

support to be available, so that those 

with additional needs can progress and 

achieve well. 

When talking to employers and 

learners, inspectors noted that 

employers were positive about Parenta 

and the progress updates they receive. 

They value the impact that apprentices 

have on their business and there is 

effective employer engagement. They 

recognised that Parenta apprentices 

are safe and feel safe and know who to 

inform when they have a concern. 

The feedback from the matrix Standard 

assessment was just as positive. This 

international quality outcome-based 

standard is for companies that deliver 

information advice and guidance 

(IAG) and when assessing Parenta’s 

submission, the auditors commented 

that the quality of both data and 

resources that have been developed 

across all areas of the learning journey 

were of a very high quality. They noted 

that Parenta’s main strength is very 

loud and clear through the overall 

feedback sought from learners and 

employers – its assessors are ‘firstclass’. 

Parenta CEO Allan Presland said; “We 

could not have possibly achieved this 

without the immense hard work of the 

team. The inspection and assessment 

both highlight our commitment here at 

Parenta and our assessors do nothing 

less than a remarkable job with our 

learners. Their professionalism and 

competency shine though, something 

that is evident in their expert use of 

questioning to assist our learners 

in gaining a deeper knowledge and 

allowing them to develop stronger skills 

in their roles. After all, that is why we 

are here! These results clearly confirm 

that the quality of our work and the 

clear vision we have pave the way for 

successful training delivery.” 



Parenta Trust news 

Parenta Trust news 

NEWS 

Although five months’ away, our charity, Parenta Trust, is gearing up for its annual 

fundraising car rally from Maidstone to Monaco and is calling for teams to take part in 

a “road trip of a lifetime”. 

EYFS Learning 

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From 24 to 28 June 2020, teams in 

both two- and four-wheeled vehicles 

will travel 2,000 miles through eight 

countries, traverse the Alps and 

negotiate the winding roads of the 

Furka Pass. This annual five-day 

adventure involves camping under the 

stars and taking part in challenges - 

before reaching the final destination of 

glamorous Monaco. 

All funds raised from the rally go 

towards building pre-schools for 

children in need of a quality education 

in deprived areas of the world. 

Parenta Trust founder and trustee, 

Allan Presland said; “The Maidstone to 

Monaco rally never fails to disappoint. 

It’s a fantastic way to bring people 

together for a great cause and have 

loads of fun along the way. Motorbikes, 

as well as cars, are welcome and all 

two- and four-wheel enthusiasts unite 

on this five-day journey of fun, laughter 

and exploration. We already have a 

few teams signed up who had such a 

fantastic adventure last year that they 

can’t wait to do it all over again! 

Footsteps 2 is the only EYFS tracking software that allows you to 

blur children’s faces, helping to ensure you are GDPR compliant! 

And guess what? It comes with a 14 day FREE trial. 

GET YOUR 14 DAY 

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Footsteps 2 is designed to make EYFS 

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Here are some of the great features: 

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“The support we receive every year is 

nothing less than astounding; but we 

are always looking for more people to 

get involved, so we are appealing for 

more teams to come and join us and 

help us with “the drive to build a school”! 

From this year, Parenta Trust, working 

hand-in-hand with Parenta Group, 

is aligning itself with the UN Global 

Goals for Sustainable Development, 

in particular, Goal No. 4, Quality 

Education, which sits perfectly within 

Parenta’s values and ethos, allowing 

greater synergy between the training 

provider and the Trust. Find out more 

about Parenta’s alignment with Global 

Goals. 

Click here to find out more and to sign 

up for Maidstone to Monaco rally! 

About Parenta Trust 

Parenta Trust supports disadvantaged 

children across the world by providing 

quality pre-school education. It was 

founded by Allan Presland in 2013 

after a life-changing trip to Kampala 

in Uganda. The stark reality of poverty 

and lack of education for pre-school 

children hit him hard on the day 

he found a young girl on a rubbish 

tip on top of a cemetery in an area 

known locally as ‘Kosovo’. She was 

scavenging for food and Allan found 

it heartbreaking that she clearly had 

to fend for herself to even find food 

let alone be given an early years 

education. He returned to the UK to 

set up a charity, leveraging his existing 

network of contacts in the early years 

sector, and his ambitious quest to build 

one pre-school per year began. 

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National 

National Storytelling Week 

Storytelling Week 

As nursery professionals, you already 

know the educational importance of 

stories in your setting, and the way 

we all begin our learning journeys 

by listening to stories that are either 

read to us or orally presented to us 

by storytellers, be they our parents, 

teachers or professionals. 

What is storytelling? 

Oral storytelling is an ancient form of 

passing on knowledge for survival, 

education and recreational purposes. 

It is one of our oldest art forms and 

there is a society dedicated to its 

promotion and development. The 

Society for Storytelling (SFS) was 

founded in 1993 to support and 

promote storytelling in England 

and Wales and is now the go-to 

place for advice, workshops and 

practitioners alike. Every 

year, they organise 

and promote National 

Storytelling Week, 

which this year runs 

from the 1st to the 

8th February and has 

events all around 

the country to get 

involved in. 

“Are you sitting comfortably? Then I’ll begin.” 

Most of us have heard this phrase and understand that it refers to starting storytime, 

even if we are too young to remember the original children’s BBC radio programme 

“Listen with mother” that it came from. For over 30 years, it was the cue for children all 

over the country to settle down and listen to songs, nursery rhymes and of course, stories. 

National Storytelling Week was 

conceived in 2000 with the aim of 

increasing public awareness of the art, 

practice and value of oral storytelling. 

It is held during the first week of 

February every year – a week that is 

not too close to Christmas but which 

coincides with Candlemas on the 2nd 

of February. This old church festival 

traditionally included a blessing on 

the throat, one of the prime tools in 

the arsenal of nearly all storytellers of 

every belief and culture. 

National Storytelling Week celebrates 

all things storytelling, including folk 

tales, fairy lore, phantoms, serpents, 

storms, dragons, and anything that 

can transform from a figment of 

someone’s imagination into 

a vivid and exciting auditory 

and sometimes, sensory 

experience. The SFS say: 

“Wherever the 

events take place, 

the web of stories will be spun 

with sufficient magic between 

the breath of the teller and 

the ear of the listener.” 

The week is also aimed at all ages 

and will be delivered by practitioners, 

storytelling groups, libraries, theatres, 

schools, nurseries and educational 

establishments in many different ways. 

There are workshops and live events 

to attend, and the SFS has produced 

a video and resource pack to help 

interested parties get involved. 

You can get a copy of the resource 

pack by emailing membership@sfs. 

org.uk. It will be full of tools to teach 

storytelling to children including how 

to understand the essence of a story 

in only a few words or key moments 

which can help in mapping out story 

structures and as a starting point 

for drama. It will also look at the 

difference between simply reading a 

story, and the engagement with an 

audience that storytelling induces. 

Remember too that one of Parenta’s 

main expert contributors, Stacey 

Kelly is an expert in stories, using 

storytelling techniques to promote 

learning in children. Joanna Grace 

is another of our experts who 

creates stories, especially for 

children with sensory or special 

needs. You can access more 

information about Stacey Kelly’s 

work at www.earlyyearsstorybox. 

com or Joanna Grace’s work at www. 

thesensoryprojects.co.uk/sensorystories. 

Where can I find events near me? 

The official website lists various events 

throughout the year and you can filter 

them by postcode, date and keyword 

so there’s plenty for everyone to 

choose from. 

Links to the EYFS 

Storytelling can be used to enhance 

many of the areas outlined in the EYFS 

for a number of reasons. It links directly 

to the areas of: 

• communication and language, and 

• expressive arts and design 

Because you can cover a wide variety 

of subject matter in stories, it can also 

link to: 

• personal, social and emotional 

development 

• understanding the world, and 

• literacy 

But storytelling and storytime are 

not necessarily the same thing. And 

storytelling and reading are also 

different, although related, activities. 

The new Education Inspection 

Framework recently introduced 

by Ofsted is placing importance 

on communication and language 

development for children, including 

storytelling in your settings, so this is 

a great week to explore the genre and 

find out more. 

How you can get involved 

The best way to get involved is to tell 

some stories. Everyone has a story 

to tell and you don’t need to be an 

expert in anything to tell your own 

story. Most of us tell stories to our 

friends, neighbours and even complete 

strangers sometimes, in one way or 

another, every day. And you really have 

nothing to lose by having a go. 

Other things you could do to promote 

the week are: 

• attend events – libraries and 

theatres are a good place to start 

your search as well as on the SFS 

website 

• why not start a local storytelling 

group? It doesn’t just have to be for 

children either; you could have one 

just for the adults 

• organise your own events – 

perhaps you could get together 

with other local nurseries or run a 

‘story-a-thon’ to raise money 

• hire a professional storyteller to 

visit your setting and deliver a 

workshop or storytelling session 

• encourage the students to tell 

their own stories and share them 

between friends and families 

National Storytelling Week runs 

from 1–8th February, but the four 

days immediately before and after 

those dates are part of the festival 

of storytelling too. They are equally 

important as they are its fringes or 

preferably its “Coat Tales”, so make 

sure you’re sitting comfortably, and 

then begin! 



Using an emotion Using coaching an approach 

and not making mountains out of 

molehills! 

and not making mountains out of molehills! 

emotion coaching approach 

You may have heard of the phrase, ‘Making a mountain out of a molehill’ – referring to 

people overreacting and situations escalating. This so easily happens at home, and for 

many of us, in work too. For example, you notice that the cups haven’t been washed in the 

staff room again. You stayed late yesterday washing up and even made a note reminding 

everyone to tidy up after themselves, but to no avail. The cups are there… again! 

In a magazine quiz, it would say, do you: 

a 

b 

c 

d 

Make it VERY clear how unhappy 

you are and refuse to go in the 

staffroom in protest? 

Moan and grumble but not 

confront anyone directly; 

Ignore the cups – they’re just not 

worth the hassle; 

Explain that you understand how 

busy everyone is and yet the 

staffroom cups are getting you 

down so you want to find a way 

of sorting it so that everyone is 

happy and ask to spend a minute 

talking through some solutions in 

the next staff meeting. 

Some of these responses would 

escalate the situation and possibly 

lead to more bad feeling, most would 

leave you feeling really bad and 

not resolve the issue, but option d) 

would acknowledge the feelings of 

all involved and, hopefully, lead to a 

resolution. 

This last option is using an emotion 

coaching style of response which is 

based on the work of John Gottman. 

An emotion coaching style considers 

the emotions that underpin behaviour 

and responds in the moment, 

acknowledging feelings and finding 

a way forward by setting limits, 

and problem solving if appropriate. 

It accepts all emotions, but not all 

behaviours, seeing behaviour as a form 

of communication (Digby et al., 2017). 

Gottman’s research found that parents 

responded to their children in 4 distinct 

styles: disapproving, dismissive, 

laissez-faire and emotion coaching. He 

proposed that most parental responses 

do not take into account children’s 

emotions but using an emotion 

coaching style accepts all emotions 

as valid whilst at the same time 

acknowledging that how we behave as 

a result of having these emotions may 

need to be supported or discussed. 

For example, it’s OK to feel cross when 

your brother takes a toy away from you, 

but it’s not OK to hit your brother and 

snatch it back. 

Although his research centred around 

parents and the home, we can use 

this approach in our settings too. For 

example, imagine that a child has 

spent a long time drawing a picture 

and then at snack time, a full cup 

of milk is spilled all over it. It would 

be easy to respond in a way that 

dismisses the child’s feeling: “Don’t 

worry about it – it doesn’t matter. We 

don’t cry over spilt milk...” or even 

respond in a disapproving way, “Oh no 

– what did you think you were doing? 

I told you to move your picture before 

snack time.” 

Neither of these responses are helpful 

to the child at that moment and both 

offer no empathy, so sometimes we 

might respond in a slightly more 

empathetic way saying something like, 

“Sorry about that” from across the room 

but this laissez-faire response offers no 

guidance or support to the child. So, in 

using an emotion coaching response 

Questions you could ask to support your children emotionally: 

• What helps the child to feel calm? 

• What makes them excited? 

• What makes them anxious? 

• When do they feel confident? 

• Who do they like to be with? 

• What are they frightened of? 

• When might they feel cross? 

• Which adult are they most securely attached to? 

• Do they have any objects or special toys that might help them to 

feel secure? 

• How can you support this child and respond sensitively to their 

needs? 

in this scenario, the adult offers both high 

levels of empathy, and guidance, so that 

the child has their feelings acknowledged 

and at the same time feels supported 

about what they need to do next. “You must 

feel really upset, you spent a long time 

drawing that picture. Let’s find some paper 

towels and mop it up and then when it’s 

dry we can colour it in together.” 

This last response validates the child’s 

feelings and offers them emotional and 

practical support. In our settings we are 

really good at following the child, keeping 

their interests and needs central in our 

planning. But we also need to cater for 

the emotional needs of our children too. 

If you think about your key children, do 

you know what makes them feel excited, 

or is there anything that they are anxious 

or worried about? Does anything frighten 

them or make them feel cross? What 

helps them to feel calm? Including these 

sorts of questions into our settling-in 

procedure can help us to better get to 

know the children’s feelings and emotional 

responses. 

So emotion coaching relies on our being 

aware of emotions, tuning into our own 

feelings and those of our children and sits 

within the context of a trusting relationship 

where we actively listen to children and 

value what they say and do. This response 

does not take sides or apportion blame, 

instead it remains non-judgemental and 

practises acceptance of the children and 

their feelings. 

It follows 3 main steps: 

1. Acknowledging and validating feelings, 

labelling them and empathising with 

everyone involved; 

2. Talking through the situation, exploring 

the issue further and setting limits on 

behaviour if appropriate; 

3. Resolving any conflicts, looking forward 

to the future, and problem solving as 

necessary. 

Emotion coaching is a powerful strategy 

to use and works effectively because it 

validates everyone’s feelings and accepts 

all emotions, whilst at the same time 

recognising our natural ways of responding 

and providing a calming way out. This 

approach believes children to be competent 

and capable and supports them to ‘own’ 

any problems, enabling them to become 

more independent and emotionally resilient 

in the future. In addition, because this 

approach doesn’t take sides, it can really 

defuse a situation and allow the molehill to 

be viewed as just that – a small molehill. 

When we find ourselves responding 

emotionally to our children, colleagues, 

family and friends, let’s remember to use 

an emotion coaching response. This will 

de-escalate the situation, acknowledge the 

feelings of all involved and resolve conflicts 

through problem solving. That way we 

won’t make a mountain out of a molehill… 

Tamsin Grimmer 

Tamsin Grimmer is an 

experienced early years 

consultant and trainer and 

parent who is passionate about 

young children’s learning and 

development. She believes 

that all children deserve 

practitioners who are inspiring, 

dynamic, reflective and 

committed to improving on their 

current best. Tamsin particularly 

enjoys planning and delivering 

training and supporting 

early years practitioners and 

teachers to improve outcomes 

for young children. 

Tamsin has written two 

books - “Observing and 

Developing Schematic 

Behaviour in Young Children” 

and “School Readiness and 

the Characteristics of Effective 

Learning”. 

Website: 

tamsingrimmer.com 

Facebook: 

facebook.com/earlyyears. 

consultancy.5 

Twitter: 

@tamsingrimmer 

Email: 

info@tamsingrimmer.co.uk 

References 

Digby, R., West, E., Temple, S., 

McGuire-Snieckus, R., Vatmanides, 

O., Davey, A., Richardson, S., Rose, 

J., and Parker, R. (2017) Somerset 

Emotion Coaching Project Evaluation 

Report: Phase Two, Institute for 

Education, Bath Spa University. 

Gottman, J.M. and Declaire, J. (1997) 

Raising an Emotionally Intelligent 

Child: The heart of parenting. New 

York: Fireside. 



Children’s Mental 

Children’s Mental Health Week 

Health Week 

It is important to be aware of the 

problems not only nationally, but within 

your setting. Your focus on the mental 

health issues affecting your staff and 

children is also something that Ofsted 

will look at too. 

How to support Children’s Mental Health Week 

There are many ways to get involved in the week and the official website 

has a number of resources, aimed at school assemblies that you can adapt 

for your setting. You could also: 

Children’s mental health has been the subject of a lot of news coverage in recent 

years, and there is increasing concern about children’s mental health which has 

been deteriorating according to statistics. 

In 2018, the NSPCC reported that over 

the previous three years, there was an 

increase of more than one third in the 

number of referrals made by schools 

in England requesting mental health 

treatment for their pupils. Requests to 

the NHS Child and Adolescent Mental 

Health Services (CAMHS) were 31,757 

in 2017-18, equivalent to 183 referrals 

for each school day. 1 Interestingly, more 

than half (55%) of referrals were from 

primary schools. 1 

Barnardos 2 have reported that one in 

10 children have a diagnosable mental 

health condition, which equates to about 

3 children in every classroom. Children 

with mental health problems can find 

it difficult to make friends, 

manage in everyday 

settings, and many 

do not feel 

good about 

themselves 

and have 

low selfesteem. 

There can also 

be an ongoing 

pressure on other 

members of the 

family. There are also 

many children who 

do not have diagnosed 

conditions but just feel 

upset or lack 

confidence a lot 

of the time, but 

no one should 

have to go through 

these times on their own. 

Although it is difficult to pinpoint exact 

reasons for the increase in prevalence, 

researchers have identified possible 

contributing factors including 2 : 

• Increased pressure at school 

• Effects of social media 

• Cyberbullying 

• Increased levels of children 

growing up in poverty 

• Reduction in early intervention 

services 

• Cuts to youth-related services 

Whatever the reasons, something 

needs to be done to address the 

situation and raising awareness 

with as many people as 

possible, is a good place 

to start. In 2015, the first 

Children’s Mental Health 

Week was started by 

Place2Be with the aim of 

raising awareness of the 

problem of mental health 

in younger people. This 

year, the organisers want 

to encourage as many 

people as possible to 

get involved and spread 

the word. Nurseries, 

schools, youth groups, 

individuals and 

organisations 

can help by 

promoting good 

mental health in their 

groups, raising 

money and supporting those who need 

it the most. The week runs from the 3rd 

to the 9th February. 

Place2Be is a “children’s mental health 

charity that provides counselling and 

mental health support and training in UK 

schools, using tried and tested methods 

backed by research.” They have worked 

with 639 schools in England, Scotland 

and Wales, helping as many as 364,080 

children and young people. They train 

people who deal with children with 

mental health issues and offer support 

to those suffering. 

The theme for this year’s week is 

Find Your Brave. Being brave and 

courageous can take many different 

forms; some require obvious bravery 

such as bungee jumping off a bridge, 

but other types of bravery can be more 

subtle, such as finding the courage 

to ask for help when you’re feeling 

low, or pushing yourself beyond your 

comfort zone when you are fearful. 

We all have times when we feel lonely 

or depressed, and it is then that we 

need to find our own bravery the most 

– not by suffering in silence, but by 

finding positive ways to overcome the 

challenges we face. 

Nursery-aged children can have mental 

health problems too, perhaps due to 

trauma, family situations or abuse, but 

early intervention can help. The Harvard 

University Center on the Developing 

Child published a report called “Early 

Childhood Mental Health” saying: 

“Most potential mental health problems 

will not become mental health problems 

if we respond to them early.” 3 

According to the NSPCC website, some 

of the symptoms to look out for in 

young children include: 

Signs of depression in children 

and teenagers can include: 

• persistent low-mood or lack of 

motivation 

• not enjoying things they used to like 

doing 

• becoming withdrawn and spending 

less time with friends and family 

• experiencing low self-esteem or 

feeling like they are ‘worthless’ 

• feeling tearful or upset regularly 

• changes in eating or sleeping 

habits 

Signs of anxiety in children and teenagers can 

include: 

• becoming socially withdrawn and avoiding spending 

time with friends or family 

• feeling nervous or ‘on edge’ a lot of the time 

• suffering panic attacks 

• feeling tearful, upset or angry 

• trouble sleeping and changes in eating habits 

Being present and encouraging children to talk about their 

feelings is important, as well as trying to understand what 

causes the children to feel the way they do. Some mental 

health issues can be related to abusive situations so if 

you feel that children within your setting are displaying 

related symptoms, you should contact your Designated 

Safeguarding Lead (DSL). 

Other organisations providing support to 

children and families include: 

• Mind 

• Rethink Mental Illness 

• Samaritans 

• SANE 

• Childline (0800 1111) at any time 24/7. 

References 

1. Nuffield Trust News 

2. Barnardos 

3. Harvard University 

Spread the word – the website has several ready-made banners and 

suggestions for tweets and other social media messages that you can use 

to advertise the week and raise the profile of children’s mental health. Use 

#ChildrensMentalHealthWeek 

Talk about feelings - since this subject can be a difficult one to introduce 

to younger children, think about using stories, feelings cards or emojis to the 

children to help them describe how they feel 

Fundraise – the website has lots of ideas for ways to raise vital funds to 

help the organisers continue their valuable work. You could have a cake 

sale, jumble sale, bring and buy stall, sponsored activity or just ask for 

donations 

Make an emotions board – get the children to draw something that 

describes how they feel at different times and display them. Then use them 

as a starting point for discussions 



The importance and 

The importance and benefits of 

messy play 

benefits of 

messy play 

Many of us provide early years children 

with messy play experiences on a regular 

basis, but have you ever wondered why it is 

so important? Messy play, or ‘sensory play’ 

engages a child’s senses, including balance 

and movement. Types of messy play might 

include playing with slime, gloop, dough, 

flour, foam, tea leaves, lentils, water, mud – 

anything really as long as it is safe! Children 

are able to get their hands/feet/possibly 

whole bodies stuck in so that they can 

experience everything there is to offer. 

We know that children learn through play. The more senses 

that a child uses in play, the more they are going to learn. 

Messy play, therefore, is a fantastic learning opportunity 

because it allows a child to learn through lots of their senses 

at once. Here are some of the other benefits of messy play: 

It provides opportunities for language 

I cannot stress enough how important it is to encourage 

language development in young children, and messy play 

is a perfect opportunity do this. As children use their senses 

to experience all the different textures and sensations on 

offer, ask them about it. What does is feel like? What colour 

is it? What does it smell like? Model extending language by 

telling the children what you think it feels like and what is 

reminds you of. Can you think of any other words to describe 

it? Keep going with this and children will end up extending 

their vocabulary. 

Develops fine motor skills 

In messy play, children can be found patting, squeezing, 

scooping, gripping, pouring and picking up lots of different 

materials. All of these actions are developing the muscles in 

the child’s hand as they make small movements and coordinate 

these movements. These skills are the foundations 

for future handwriting. 

Builds creativity & self-esteem 

The great thing about messy play is that there is no right 

or wrong. Children can explore their curiosity, use their 

imagination and they can’t go wrong. This is going to build 

their confidence to just play however they see fit. 

Builds cognitive development 

Children file away the things that they experience in their 

memories and build on them each time they come back to 

revisit that experience. They then use these memories to gain 

understanding and knowledge. So, if a child plays with slime 

a few times, they will gradually remember features such as 

the fact that it is slippery and feels wet (whether or not they 

can verbalise this). They can then draw on this knowledge 

when faced with new situations. 

Calming 

Lots of children find sensory experiences such as messy play 

very calming. In fact, if you have a child that becomes very 

upset or angry and you struggle to find ways to help them calm 

down, then try engaging them in a sensory experience such as 

messy play. They quickly become so absorbed in what they are 

experiencing that they are able to move on from how they were 

feeling to focus on what they are doing now. 

Social interaction & spatial awareness 

It is likely that your child will be involved in messy play 

alongside other children, therefore they are very likely to 

engage with others and gradually develop their social skills. 

They are also going to need to work out boundaries & respect 

one another’s personal space. 

Now you’ve heard many of the benefits of messy play, but we 

haven’t mentioned the fact that it is also just really good fun! 

Lots of children are drawn to messy play, therefore here is a 

fantastic opportunity to engage reluctant learners. If you have a 

child that is extremely shy and needs encouragement to speak, 

try engaging them through chat over the messy play. If you have 

children that rarely engage in mark-making, let them mark-make 

in the messy play. Whatever the area of learning that you wish 

to work on, take it to that child’s area of interest so that they 

want to be engaged. You may find that some children won’t like 

certain types of messy play, especially children with sensory 

Gina Smith 

Gina Smith is an 

experienced teacher with 

experience of teaching 

in both mainstream and 

special education. She 

is the creator of ‘Create 

Visual Aids’ - a business 

that provides both homes 

and education settings with 

bespoke visual resources. 

Gina recognises the fact 

that no two children are 

the same and therefore 

individuals are likely to 

need different resources. 

Create Visual Aids is 

dedicated to making visual 

symbols exactly how the 

individual needs them. 

Website: 

www.createvisualaids.com 

Email: 

gina@createvisualsaids.com 

difficulties. In this instance you will need to work carefully to find 

the type of sensory experience that works for them. 

So, in offering messy play, you are offering a lot of different 

learning experiences at once, hence why it is considered such 

an important activity to offer. To give children the best possible 

learning opportunities, try mixing up the different sensory 

experiences that you offer so that they 

get a variety of different types of 

messy play over 

time. Your children 

will benefit from 

each one by 

using different 

skills, language 

and muscles to 

investigate; 

plus they will 

love it! 



Book review of 

Book review of “What’s My Child 

“What’s 

Thinking” by Tanith Carey 

My Child 

Thinking” 

by Tanith Carey 

The tag line for this book is “Practical child psychology for modern parents” and it is 

written by Tanith Carey with input from Dr Angharad Rudkin, a clinical psychologist. 

It’s aimed at the parents of children aged 2–7. 

After an initial chapter questioning what 

parents want for their child(ren) and 

where their own values may stem from, 

there is a chapter devoted to explaining 

how children learn, how their brain 

develops and the milestones parent’s 

should expect at various ages in terms of 

their child’s thinking, relating, feeling and 

doing. However, this is not the remit of 

dry, clinical, scientific papers; it is easy-toread, 

written in plain English with a clear 

layout and diagrams that assist those 

readers who are visual learners. This is a 

Dorling Kindersley book after all. 

The book then splits into 3 sections 

discussing: 

• 2–3-year olds 

• 4–5-year olds, and 

• 6–7-year olds 

Each of these chapters is further split into 

explanations of common things children 

say, such as “I want a cuddle” or “I’m 

scared of the dark”, and some everyday 

situations you might find yourself in, for 

example, a car journey or a meal out. 

There are over 100 scenarios which most 

parents will recognise, and the book is 

designed so you can easily dip in and 

out as the situations arise. Under the 

banner of “Parents’ survival guide”, the 

book really comes into its own when it 

offers parents some valuable, practical 

tips and advice for both ‘in the moment’ 

and in the ‘longer term’, suggesting 

appropriate responses to each 

situation. Responding from a place of 

understanding and knowledge can help 

parents teach and nurture their child, 

without resorting to knee-jerk reactions, 

heavy-handed discipline or the parents 

losing control, which generally stem from 

a lack of understanding or an adult’s 

desire to control. 

In the foreword, Carey says that 

this is “the first parenting book that 

simultaneously brings together the 

thinking of both the parent and the 

child” and it’s a good reflection on what 

the book achieves. There was a time 

when society assumed that parents 

would know automatically how to bring 

up children, simply because they had 

conceived and given birth to a baby. 

Those days are long gone, and the age 

of ‘modern parenting’ is truly upon us. 

When couples fall pregnant, most of 

them go to antenatal classes to prepare 

for the physical aspect of giving birth. 

But what happens next, in the child’s 

most formative years? 90% of a child’s 

brain growth occurs prior to their 7th 

birthday, having been ‘wired according 

to the experiences she has had and the 

kind of care she has had since birth’. 

With many parenting classes having 

been closed due to lack of funds in 

recent years, Tanith Carey’s book will be 

a lifeline to many parents, with it’s easyto-follow, 

practical advice, giving an 

insight into the child’s view of the world, 

it could make the difference between 

parents being just ‘good enough’, or 

being exceptional. But don’t be fooled, 

this book is not just for parents, but 

everyone who works with children, 

including all nursery professionals. 

Published by Dorking Kindersley 

Limited, 2019. London. 

ISBN: 978-0-2413-4380-7 



The power of signing The power and of singing 

signing and singing 

Through learning sign language, children 

and adults are taught to pay attention to 

expression and movement. This skill can 

extend to better visual learning and social 

awareness for children. 

française) and Auslan in Australia. While 

there may be some similar attributes across 

them, they are in fact different languages, 

so learning your home country’s dialect is 

likely the most advantageous. 

How can your pre-school or school be inclusive if one of your students or their parents 

are deaf or hearing impaired? A very obvious solution when it comes to communication 

would be to get an interpreter. But what would you do if you were organising a special 

event, or celebration to be remembered by children and families for years to come? 

There is more that we can do to be inclusive. 

During my teaching years at Korowa 

Anglican Girls’ School in Melbourne, 

Australia, where I was Head of 

Junior Music, I was organising and 

conducting a graduation night for year 

6 students. This was a very important 

event in the life of the school and every 

family involved. 

In one of my classes I had a student 

who was a delightful young girl whose 

family members were all deaf, except 

for her. 

The school had organised an 

interpreter for the upcoming event, but 

I wanted to make this occasion more 

personal and memorable for each 

and every family whose children were 

graduating that night. 

Long before the event, I started 

looking for other ideas and searching 

for appropriate songs, and came 

across a choral piece by British 

composer Bob Chilcott, called 

‘Can You Hear Me?’. The lyrics and 

music were beautiful but what struck 

me most was the use of sign language 

incorporated into the song. 

The school graduation night was 

coming to an end. The speeches had 

concluded, and the combined junior 

school choir started singing… 

Picture this: 350 young children 

singing... signing...telling a story... 

touching everyone’s hearts. Can you 

imagine this? 

After 20 years, I still get emotional. 

I remember the power of this 

performance, the tears of joy on this 

family’s faces and all the audience. 

Truly memorable! 

Signing and singing benefits all 

children 

Music has long been thought of as a 

universal language and adding sign 

language to further express what we 

sing only strengthens it further. Signing 

and singing goes beyond inclusivity, 

adding another powerful dimension to 

the way we communicate. 

Sign language needn’t be just for 

those who are hearing impaired and is 

not only for the benefit of those on the 

receiving end of our communication. 

Learning and using sign language 

has been proven to have a range of 

benefits for children, and even for 

babies as young as six months old. 

Incorporating signing into your preschool 

curriculum can enrich your 

programs and extend children’s 

development in many ways, including 

the following: 

Rapid language development: 

Sign language can be the perfect tool 

for babies as they develop and learn 

to communicate more effectively. 

According to one of the latest studies, 

2-year-olds who learned signing 

as babies had on average a larger 

vocabulary when compared to those 

who had not learned sign language. 

More effective communication: 

If a child is feeling upset or 

uncomfortable, they may find signing a 

useful tool for communicating in some 

situations. For babies and children 

who are non-verbal, sign language 

enables them to express themselves 

and ask for what they need. 

Learning a second language 

grows the brain: In 2012, 

researchers at Lund University, 

Sweden discovered that learning an 

additional language makes the brain 

grow. Furthermore, learning a second 

language is thought to enhance the 

memory and protect against mental 

decline as we age. 

Improved awareness of body 

language: Sign language uses the 

whole body, including the face. 

Creating an inclusive learning 

environment: With sign language as part 

of the curriculum for all children, you are 

creating an inclusive learning environment 

where all children, families and educators 

(verbal, non-verbal, hearing and hearingimpaired) 

can communicate and thrive. 

Have a skill for life: The ability to 

know sign language and communicate 

non-verbally with those who are hearing 

impaired is beneficial for personal reasons 

and can be useful professionally too. 

Sign language is here to stay 

With a long history, there’s no doubt 

that sign language is a means of 

communication that is here to stay. 

Publications on the use of sign language 

date back to the 1600s and 1700s, at which 

time, or perhaps earlier, deaf communities 

created these visual communication styles. 

It is even thought that early humans used 

signs to speak to one another before verbal 

communication and spoken language was 

established. 

Today there is not one single, universal form 

of sign language. British Sign Language 

(BSL) is used in the UK, ASL (American 

Sign Language) in the USA, French Sign 

Language in France (LSF - langue des signes 

Enriching education and lives with 

signing 

A few years after that school graduation 

night, I started writing my own music and 

incorporating sign language. In 2009 I 

was organising a Christmas concert and 

once again, I was looking for opportunities 

to maximise inclusive communication to 

ensure family members and children get 

the full enjoyment of this special event. 

This inspired me to write “Ring the Bells” - 

a song incorporating Auslan so that deaf 

and hearing-impaired children (and adults) 

can get into the Christmas spirit too. It has 

now been sung by thousands of children 

across Australia, spreading the message of 

Christmas, community and inclusivity for all. 

Similarly, combining signing with singing 

has immeasurable rewards for all 

involved, and expanding ways of how we 

communicate with others can only be a 

good thing. 

Sign language is a powerful tool. When 

it is combined with song, not only does it 

bring a sense of inclusion but also creates 

more awareness and an amazing and 

memorable experience. 

MusicEarlyChildhoodPresenter.com 

Galina Zenin 

Galina Zenin (B.Mus. Ed., 

Dip. Teach.) is a presenter, 

early childhood educator and 

qualified music and voice 

training teacher, author, 

composer and storyteller. 

She writes her own music 

and brings to her programs 

a wealth of European and 

Australian experience, 

together with a high level of 

professionalism. 

Her Bonkers Beat® programs 

are breakthrough, multiaward-winning 

music and 

wellbeing programs for early 

years that enrich the lives of 

young children and boost 

settings’ occupancy at the 

same time. They have been 

introduced in many settings 

across Australia, empowering 

educators and enhancing 

the wellbeing of hundreds of 

children and families. 

Galina is a recipient of the 

2015 National Excellence in 

Teaching Award by Australian 

Scholarships Group (ASG) 

and the creator of Bonkers 

Beat Music & Bonkers Gym 

Wellbeing Programs. From 

keynote address to small 

group workshops, she has 

inspired audiences on 4 

continents and has been 

widely featured in the 

national media. 

You can follow Galina on 

Facebook, Twitter, Instagram 

and LinkedIn. 



How to deal 

with rude 

people 

Don’t you just hate rude people? You know 

the ones – always pushing in front in the 

queue or talking over you; and they never 

listen to anyone but themselves. And boy, 

do they think they’re right all the time. 

Going on and on about how terrible you are 

and how they would do things differently. 

It’s enough to turn the milk sour! They’re 

the ignorant ones, right? They’re the 

ones who need to grow up. They’re just 

pathetic!!! 

OK, OK, we’ll stop now. 

It’s interesting though isn’t it 

- how many of us start off on 

a seemingly ‘innocent’ rant 

like this, and before long, 

we’re being as rude or as 

disrespectful as the people 

we’re originally complaining 

about? Often, we’re worse. 

And yet we know deep 

down that this is not our 

preferred way of speaking 

or responding. We know 

it only escalates matters 

but at times, (especially 

when confronted by the 

very same, ‘rude people’), 

we often forget how to 

respond appropriately, 

and everything goes pearshaped!! 

In a nursery setting, it 

could be whilst speaking 

to a parent, a child or a 

colleague. So how do you 

deal with rude people? Here 

are some tips to help you 

out. 

How to deal with rude 

people 

1 

Recognise that we 

can all be rude at 

some time 

Most of us, if we are honest, 

will admit that we have 

been rude to someone at 

some point. Usually it’s 

when we’re annoyed or 

frustrated by something 

and we allow our emotions 

to get the better of us and 

speak without thinking, so 

it’s important to recognise 

our own part in rudeness, 

as it affects us all. Even the 

most mild-mannered person 

can, at times, express their 

emotions in a way that is 

not wholly appropriate, so 

try not to judge people too 

harshly, lest you become 

the hypocrite. 

2 

Take a deep breath 

and stay calm 

This is the key to a lot of 

emotional control – giving 

yourself space to offer a 

considered response to 

something, rather than a 

‘knee-jerk’ reaction. Even a 

slow count to 10 and some 

deep breathing can give 

you the time to think more 

clearly about what your 

response will be. The next 

question is then, “Is it worth 

getting upset about, or can 

you let it go?” Try to set a 

good example with your own 

emotional regulation so that 

you avoid escalating things 

and turning the problem into 

a slanging match. 

We are not saying it is 

wrong to have emotions 

– they are incredibly 

important – but there are 

always ways of expressing 

emotions which are more 

considered, and potentially 

less-damaging to anyone 

on the receiving end. The 

goal of an emotionally 

intelligent person would be 

to express emotions in ways 

that people take notice of, 

but don’t consider rude. So, 

if you are confronted with 

someone you consider to 

be rude, think about how 

emotionally intelligent you 

can be in return. 

3 

Empathise and 

understand 

Most people are not rude 

intentionally; this is usually 

the action of only a few 

people. Another good 

response to perceived 

rudeness might be to 

empathise and offer to 

help. For example, if 

someone cuts in front of 

you in the shopping queue, 

by accident or genuinely 

they didn’t see you there 

(we’ve all done it), perhaps 

all you need to say gently 

is “I’m not sure if you 

were aware, but there’s a 

queue here”, to which their 

response will most likely 

be: “Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t 

see that”. 

4 

Look carefully at the 

problem – do YOU 

need to apologise? 

One thing to ask yourself 

too, is whether there is 

a genuine complaint, 

regardless of how badly it 

might be being expressed. 

And if so, do YOU need to 

apologise first? Life often 

holds up a mirror for us, to 

show us our own foibles 

and faults, so if you have 

done something that you 

feel you need to apologise 

for, don’t hesitate to do it. 

5 

Use your best batting 

to deflect or duck 

Sometimes, humour can 

be a great way to diffuse 

or deflect rudeness, but 

you need to be careful that 

you don’t come across 

as flippant or dismissive 

of a genuine problem as 

that would escalate things 

further. Humour is often 

a good way to deal with 

rudeness in children who 

might not realise that what 

they have done or said, 

is rude. Depending on 

the situation, if you make 

light of the matter and 

laugh, you can highlight 

the inappropriateness of 

their behaviour in a lighthearted 

way that doesn’t 

lead to more conflict. You 

have to be discerning here 

though and use humour 

appropriately. 

6 

Reframe it – don’t 

give them the power 

to upset you 

Reframing something is a 

term derived from neurolinguistic 

programming 

(NLP) whereby you look 

at the situation from a 

different point of view or 

perspective – like putting 

a different frame around 

the situation. For example, 

if you feel someone is 

being rude and ignoring 

you deliberately, you might 

start to feel worthless or 

develop a lack of confidence 

in yourself. Reframing this 

would mean considering 

whether the person is really 

ignoring you, or whether 

they might be in awe of you 

instead, and find it hard 

to speak to you directly; 

or they may, in fact, have 

difficulty with social skills 

themselves, so they are 

not really being rude at all, 

but have a problem that 

they are struggling with 

themselves. 

7 

Call them out – but 

nicely 

Finally, you can challenge 

the person on their 

rudeness, but do it in a kind 

way. One example might 

be to use a phrase like: “I 

can see that you are upset 

by this, and I’m sure you’re 

not meaning to be rude, but 

when you say X ,I feel Y.” 

It acknowledges the other 

person’s emotions, without 

being confrontational and 

also lets them know the 

impact that their behaviour 

is having on you – without 

accusing them directly. 

Most cases of rudeness 

stem from a lack of 

communication or a 

miscommunication, which 

can easily be resolved by 

taking a metaphorical step 

back from the high emotion 

of the situation, talking 

things through calmly, and 

clarifying the issues without 

accusations or insults. If you 

do that, you’ll find that you 

can deal effectively with 

whatever comes your way. 



FREE 

Write for us for a chance to win £50! 

Write for us! 

We’re always on the lookout for new authors to contribute insightful articles for our 

monthly magazine. 

PARENT 

PORTAL 

If you’ve got a topic you’d like to write about, why not send an article to us and be in with a chance of winning? Each 

month, we’ll be giving away a £50 voucher to our “Guest Author of the Month”. 

Here are the details: 

•• 

Choose a topic that is relevant to early years childcare 

•• 

Submit an article of between 800–1,000 words to marketing@parenta.com 

•• 

If we choose to feature your article in our magazine, you’ll be eligible to win £50 

•• 

The winner will be picked based on having the highest number of views for their article during that month 

This competition is open to both new and existing authors, for any articles submitted to feature in our Parenta 

magazine. The lucky winner will be notified via email and we’ll also include an announcement in the following month’s 

edition of the magazine. 

Got any questions or want to run a topic by us? Get in touch via marketing@parenta.com 

Guest author winner announced 

Congratulations 

Joanna Grace 

Parent Portal is a FREE APP that works 

hand-in-hand with Parenta’s other software 

solutions and it gives parents: 

A newsfeed of their child’s day 

including photos and videos 

Their account balance and invoice 

breakdown 

The ability to download invoice and 

payment receipts 

A calendar view of past, present and 

future sessions booked 

View and request changes for 

information about their child including 

allergies, illnesses and medication 

+ lots more! 

Congratulations to our guest author 

competition winner, Joanna Grace! 

Joanna’s article in the December edition of the 

Parenta magazine, “Alternative sensory spaces” 

was very popular with our readers. 

Well done, Joanna! 

A massive thank you to all of our guest authors 

for writing for us. 

You can find all of the past articles from our 

guest authors on our website: www.parenta. 

com/parentablog/guest-authors 

We’ve worked with thousands of settings, so we 

know exactly what tools you need to make your 

business successful. We believe delivering great 

childcare means working closely alongside parents; 

and with Parent Portal, they can stay involved in 

their child’s day. 

Interested? Speak to our team to find 

out more on 0800 002 9242 or email us 

at hello@parenta.com. 

24 February 2020 | parenta.com

Rainbow 

packed lunch idea! 

Rainbow packed lunch idea! 

Sign language ‘I love you’ card 

Sign language 

‘I love you’ card 

You will need: 

• Lunch box 

• Heart-shaped cookie 

cutter 

• Yellow pepper 

• Carrots 

• Strawberries 

• Kiwi 

• Blueberries 

• Bread 

• Butter 

• Cheese 

• Cheese slices 

• Healthy snack bar (we 

used Nakd blueberry 

muffin) 

You will need: 

• Thick paper for the card (we used white, but you 

can use any colour you like) 

• 2 colourful pieces of paper (we used red and 

pink) 

• Glue 

• Child-friendly scissors 

• Pencil 

Using childfriendly 

scissors 

is a great way to 

practice children’s 

fine motor skills! 

Instructions: 

1. Wash your fruit and vegetables and cut them up to your liking. 

2. Arrange your fruit and vegetables in the lunch box starting from the 

lightest to the darkest. 

3. Use the cookie cutter to cut out a heart shape in your bread and cheese. 

Butter the bread and arrange a sandwich. 

4. Cut up your healthy snack bar or leave it whole. 

5. You are finished! 

You can let the 

little ones help 

with cutting up 

the ingredients, 

using child-friendly 

implements. It’s a 

fantastic way to not 

only practice their 

fine motor skills but 

to encourage them to 

eat their fruit and veg 

too! We hope your 

children will love it as 

much as we did! 

Instructions: 

1. Pick up the thick piece of 

paper and fold it in half. 

2. Now take one of the colourful 

pieces of paper to create 

a handprint. Put your hand 

on the paper and using the 

pencil trace your handprint 

and then cut it out. Put it 

away for later. 

3. Next, we create the heart. 

Use the remaining piece of 

paper, fold it in half and cut 

out a half-heart shape. 

4. Bring your thick piece of 

paper and your handprint 

back to the table. First, glue 

your heart shape to your 

handprint cut-out and then 

glue the 3rd and 4th finger 

on top of the heart (see 

picture). 

5. Secondly, glue the handprint 

onto the card. 

6. You are done! 



Processing 

Processing feelings and 

emotions in early years 

feelings and emotions 

in early years 

In a child’s early years, they learn about themselves and about the world. 

They also gain internal programming that influences their actions, reactions 

and decisions later in life. What we hear, see and feel on a consistent basis 

throughout our childhood creates beliefs, values and patterns of behaviour that 

then shape our future. If we want children to grow into emotionally stable adults 

who can process their thoughts and feelings, we need to make sure that what they 

experience in their younger years is conducive to this happening. 

Our subconscious mind 

(that guides up to 95% 

of what we do on a daily 

basis) is programmed 

through the information 

it regularly receives when 

we are younger. It is very 

literal and therefore cannot 

distinguish between good 

and bad or right and wrong. 

As a parent, practitioner 

or teacher, we have good 

intentions. However, 

sometimes (and for all the 

right reasons), our actions 

can unintentionally create 

programming that doesn’t 

support children to process 

their thoughts and feelings 

in a balanced way. 

It is never easy to see an 

upset child and when we 

do, we might say things like 

“awww don’t be sad” or 

“you’re okay”. Our intention 

here is completely from the 

right place and is driven 

by our desire to reduce 

their pain or minimise the 

problem. However, if we 

look closely at the literal 

message of our words, we 

will actually see that it is 

teaching children that: 

They shouldn’t be sad ܚܚ 

To act okay when they ܚܚ 

are not 

If this message is given 

to them regularly, there is 

a chance it will become a 

default setting for how they 

subconsciously process 

their feelings later in 

life. If we want children 

to acknowledge their 

emotions when they are 

older, we need to teach 

them how to do this when 

they are little. 

It is important to look at 

how we want children to 

act when they grow up and 

then to ask ourselves if the 

literal message of our words 

and action will result in this 

happening. Our heart will 

always be in the right place, 

but like I said previously, the 

mind cannot interpret our 

intentions, only the direct 

information it is receiving. 

When children get older we 

want them to: 

Know that no problem ܚܚ 

is too big or small 

Come to us when ܚܚ 

they have made a 

mistake or are worried, 

rather than isolating 

themselves 

Know that it is okay to ܚܚ 

not be okay 

Know that it is okay to ܚܚ 

express their feelings 

Face things, rather than ܚܚ 

burying their head 

Let things out, rather ܚܚ 

than holding emotions 

in 

If this is the case, we need 

to look at our consistent 

words and actions and 

ask ourselves if they are 

programming children 

with this message now. It 

can be hard if we realise 

that we need to tweak 

a few things that we are 

doing. Our heart is always 

in the right place and it is 

important to move forward 

without reproaching 

ourselves and feeling bad. 

We are always on a journey 

of development and when 

we know better, we do 

better. I still catch myself 

saying things now that 

have a dodgy message, 

but having this awareness 

allows me to change and 

reframe things before they 

become a habit. 

“ 

Despite 

our problems 

seeming small 

when we look 

back, they are 

big at the time 

and hurt just 

as much. 

” 

Something that I think 

is important for children 

(and adults) to know is 

that no problem is too 

big or small. At times, 

children can seem to get 

upset about the most 

trivial things. However, 

if we look at the world 

through their eyes, we will 

often see that although to 

us their problem seems 

small, to them, it is huge. 

Cast your mind back to 

the issues you had when 

you were a teenager. 

Most of us will look back 

and think that they were 

nothing compared to 

what we face now as 

adults. However, if you 

remember how you felt at 

the time, you will recall 

that the feelings were 

just as powerful. This is 

because problems are 

relative. As we get older, 

we gain more experience 

and responsibility and 

because of that the issues 

we face become bigger. 

Nevertheless, at each 

stage in our lives, despite 

our problems seeming 

small when we look back, 

they are big at the time 

and hurt just as much. 

When a toddler loses it 

because they have been 

given the wrong pen, to 

us it may seem ridiculous. 

However, to them it feels 

like the end of the world. 

Not only are they facing an 

issue relative to their age 

and therefore MASSIVE in 

their eyes, they also quite 

often don’t have the skills 

to articulate how they are 

feeling, so have a huge 

amount of frustration 

added to the mix too. 

When this happens, if we 

can try to understand that 

through their three-year-old 

eyes, this is devastating, 

we will deal with them in 

a very different way. If we 

support them through their 

sadness and screams, help 

them to find a solution and 

acknowledge how they 

feel, we will truly teach 

them that: 

It is okay to express ܚܚ 

feelings 

No problem is too big ܚܚ 

or small 

We are there to support ܚܚ 

them no matter what 

Now sometimes (and I 

have been there many 

times), they are too far 

gone and nothing you can 

do will make them feel 

better. This can be difficult 

because they can get out 

of control and start having 

a huge tantrum. However, 

it is crucial when this 

happens to understand 

that when a child goes into 

meltdown, they are not 

being defiant. They are not 

developmentally-equipped 

with the ability to bring 

themselves back, and it is 

at these times when they 

need us the most. 

It can be hard to sit 

through a raging tantrum 

and to see a child so sad, 

but if we can just give 

them the space to process 

their feelings in their own 

time and in the safety 

of our presence, they 

regulate more quickly. They 

will also learn, little by 

little, how to process their 

emotions whilst knowing it 

is safe to do so. 

A child isn’t born with the 

ability to regulate and 

process their emotions. 

They learn how to do this 

over time and through their 

experiences. Without a 

shadow of a doubt, we put 

children and their wellbeing 

at the heart of what 

we do, but by having a 

deeper understanding of 

how our words and actions 

impact them, we can 

truly give them a strong 

foundation and the ability 

to have emotional balance 

later in life. 

Stacey Kelly 

Stacey Kelly is a former 

teacher, a parent to 2 

beautiful babies and the 

founder of Early Years Story 

Box, which is a subscription 

website providing children’s 

storybooks and early years 

resources. She is passionate 

about building children’s 

imagination, creativity and 

self-belief and about creating 

awareness of the impact 

that the early years have 

on a child’s future. Stacey 

loves her role as a writer, 

illustrator and public speaker 

and believes in the power of 

personal development. She is 

also on a mission to empower 

children to live a life full of 

happiness and fulfilment, 

which is why she launched 

the #ThankYouOaky Gratitude 

Movement. 

Sign up to Stacey’s premium 

membership here and use the 

code PARENTA20 to get 20% 

off or contact Stacey for an 

online demo. 

Website: 

www.earlyyearsstorybox.com 

Email: 

stacey@earlyyearsstorybox.com 

Facebook: 

facebook.com/earlyyearsstorybox 

Twitter: 

twitter.com/eystorybox 

Instagram: 

instagram.com/earlyyearsstorybox 

LinkedIn: 

linkedin.com/in/stacey-kellya84534b2/ 



APPLY 

NOW 

funding is 

limited 

The Level 3 Childcare Early Years Educator apprenticeship is changing from 

‘framework’ to ‘standards’. But what does this mean for employers and learners? 

Framework 

Duration*: 12 months 

Cost: £2500 

Non-levy contribution**: 5% 

*For all learners who are employed full-time. **For all 19+ learners 


Apply now for limited 

funding for Level 3 Childcare 

EYE apprenticeship. Get in 

before the new standards! 

Standards 

NEW 

Duration*: 18 months 

(15 months + 3 months for End Point Assessment) 

Cost: £6000 

Non-levy contribution**: 5% 

To help settings like yours, we have secured LIMITED funding for the 

current Framework apprenticeship. Hurry, the price increases from Feb/ 

March with the new standards! 

Simply give us your details here: bit.ly/3aNAcRp 

and our training team will contact you without 

delay - or if you want to discuss this with us, 

please call us on 0800 002 9242. 

National Apprenticeship 

Week National is here! Apprenticeship 

This week-long celebration, Week organised every is here! 

year by the National Apprenticeship 

Service, aims to unite everyone who is passionate about apprenticeships, to 

encourage more young people to choose this path as a first step (and often fast-track) 

to a great career, and for companies to promote growth and personal development. 

In short, it’s a fantastic opportunity for 

everyone in the industry – apprentices, 

employers and training providers 

alike - to shout about how great 

apprenticeships are! 

This year’s theme is ‘Look Beyond’ 

which looks to showcase and celebrate 

the true meaning of ‘diversity’ within 

apprenticeships, with a focus on: 

• calling on young people to look 

beyond traditional routes into 

employment and explore the 

diversity of career options and 

industries now available to them 

through apprenticeships; 

• calling on employers to look 

beyond traditional hiring routes 

and shout about the value they 

already see from diversifying their 

workforce by employing apprentices 

calling on parents and teachers to 

look beyond old preconceptions 

around apprenticeships, building 

understanding of the true value 

they bring, and sharing this with 

young people. 

Here are our tops tips to get involved: 

• The NAW2020 events map allows 

you to search for events happening 

near you during the most exciting 

week in the apprenticeships 

calendar. You can also submit your 

event to be featured here. 

• Improve staff morale; and keep 

your team motivated to continue 

their learning by talking to them 

about the benefits of what further 

training can offer them. 

More information on National Apprenticeship Week can be found here: www.apprenticeships.gov.uk 

Parenta offers Level 2 Team 

Leading, Level 3 and 4 

Management and Level 5 Childcare 

Leadership as work-based 

apprenticeships, in addition to the 

Level 2 and Level 3 Childcare. 

Help your staff and learners know 

their options and realise their 

earning power! 

• Apprentices can get involved 

with the Young Apprentice 

Ambassador Network (YAAN) 

and talk about the benefits of 

apprenticeships in their local 

area – this looks great on a CV 

and gives invaluable skills for 

the workplace. 

• Encourage your apprentices to 

sign up for a NUS Apprentice 

Extra discount card. Not 

only will they receive loads 

of discounts at hundreds of 

shops, they will also receive 

emails on how they can give 

feedback and help shape the 

future of apprenticeships. 

Your Parenta assessor will be 

able to give so much advice on 

how you can best support your 

learners in their early career 

journey. 


National Apprenticeship Week 2020 – 

National 

let’s celebrate our learners! 

Apprenticeship 

Week 2020 

- let’s celebrate our learners! 

We love to celebrate our apprentices and their 

achievements here at Parenta. There’s no better time 

than National Apprenticeship Week to share with our 

readers what it means to our learners to complete a 

childcare course with Parenta Training. 

Alice Ya Kra completed her 

EYE Level 3 in August 2019 and 

currently works at Kids Inc. Day 

Nursery in Chingford, London. 

She said; “Doing this course has 

really helped me in my job. Before, 

when I wasn’t qualified, I couldn’t 

be counted in the ratios and also 

wasn’t allowed to be alone with 

the children. Now, I am able to 

really use the ideas and knowledge 

that I have gained during my 

Level 3 studies and I can now 

plan so many more activities with 

the children. My employers are 

expecting so much more of me 

now that I’m qualified and that’s 

a good thing! I now create my 

own lists of activities and having 

the qualification has given me 

confidence to progress my career 

within this setting. 

“I would definitely use Parenta 

again if I was to carry on my 

studying (if I was a bit younger!) 

and in fact, I’ve recommended 

them to a friend who was offered a 

job really quickly because she was 

on a Parenta course! All in all, I had 

a good experience and am happy 

with Parenta!” 

Farzana Masih completed her EYE 

Level 3 in April 2019 and currently 

works at Aston University Nursery 

and Preschool in Birmingham. 

She said; “I was already employed 

but really wanted to further my 

knowledge and progress my career 

so I chose Parenta to do my Level 

3. I’ve got so much more in depth 

knowledge now and can apply 

everything that I’ve learned in 

my day-to-day job. I’m planning 

activities with the children so much 

better now too! 

“I’ve really used this qualification 

to be able to apply for better 

positions within the industry which 

I am actively doing at present, and 

I am considering doing a higher 

level qualification with Parenta in 

the future as what this has shown 

me is the real potential for career 

progression. I would definitely 

recommend Parenta, they have 

been very supportive and I’ve had 

a very positive experience.” 

For one Parenta learner, 2019 was 

a year she won’t forget for a long 

time. Kira Alakija from Noah’s 

Ark in Duston, Northants was 

shortlisted in the Northamptonshire 

Business Awards, in the category of 

Apprentice of the Year. 

She said; “When the judges came 

to visit me at my setting, they told 

me that I was the first nominee 

Kira Alakija from Noah’s Ark in Duston, shortlisted for Apprentice of the Year 

ever to come from an education 

background – that made me 

so proud! I love what I do and 

I couldn’t have done all of this 

without the support of my Parenta 

assessor and my managers at 

work. The organisers made a point 

of recognising all the apprentices 

and their achievements and said 

that this year it had been really 

hard to choose one overall winner. 

It was an experience I will never 

forget and a great way to end my 

apprenticeship.” 

The year also ended well for 

Parenta’s very own apprentice, 

Courtney Berryman, who 

successfully completed her Level 

2 Business Administration. She 

was lucky enough to have the 

opportunity of attending the firstever 

Kent & Medway Apprentice 

Graduation Ceremony in October 

– an event which celebrated the 

apprentices’ achievements in the 

same way as a university graduate 

is recognised, which is planned to 

continue this year. 

Parenta is the UK’s largest 

vocational training provider 

within the early years sector, 

offering apprenticeships at 

all levels. We train nearly 

3,000 nursery staff every year, 

helping them successfully 

complete their childcare 

apprenticeship training. 

With 20 years’ experience 

in the industry, we work in 

partnership with thousands 

of settings, supporting them 

with upskilling their existing 

staff, as well as recruiting 

new apprentices. 

Ask us about our free 

recruitment service and 

for advice to help you 

invest in tomorrow’s 

generation of childcarers. 

Our experienced team will 

be able to advise you on 

‘all things apprenticeships’ 

- from legislation changes 

to funding, contribution, 

minimum wage and off-thejob 

training. To find out more 

about how we work together 

with settings and help them 

with their apprenticeship 

solutions, call our team on 

0800 002 9242 or email 

recruiter@parenta.com. 



Neurotypical 

narratives 

Neurotypical narratives 

Are neurotypical paradigms damaging people on the autistic spectrum? 

I am a purveyor of stories. I know their power. When I got engaged and my mother 

warned me, “Just don’t make up too many stories,” she knows their power in my life 

too. On my Ambitious and Inclusive Sensory Stories training day, I tell a story that I 

heard as a very young child and track its influence on my life now. 

We talk about young children as 

being impressionable. Stories 

seem like little things, but those 

first ideas, those first impressions 

left in a growing mind, shape it 

from its foundations up. At an 

age where children are so very 

impressionable, we read them 

bedtime stories that tell them that 

women are passive: the princess 

waits for rescue, and that men 

are active: the prince rescues. 

One story like this would be okay, 

especially if there was another 

(like the “Paperbag Princess” 

by Robert Munsch, or “Princess 

Smartypants” by Babette Cole) to 

even things out, but generally there 

isn’t. Our children are exposed 

to, not just one story, but many 

that teach them that they fit into a 

box: women-passive, men-active, 

this does neither gender any 

favours. We all need to be rescued 

sometimes and we all need to 

know we have the power to rescue 

ourselves (and occasionally others). 

Autistic people grow up in a world 

where nearly all the narratives 

are neurotypical. These narratives 

teach us what is normal and right, 

and what is not, and when we 

cannot fit ourselves into these 

moulds, we feel that we are in the 

wrong. We injure ourselves in the 

trying, like the infamous square 

peg in a round hole. Two current 

notable exceptions for children 

today are the book “The Cloud 

Spotter” by Tom Mclaughlin (that 

I discovered thanks to Booktrust’s 

Special School Library Pack) and 

the TV show, “Pablo”. 

When you don’t fit in, it is common 

for you to kick back against the 

hurt of trying to shave your own 

edges off. Some people kick out at 

the world, others hurt themselves. 

Incidents of self-harm and violent 

behaviour are more common in 

people with autism than they are 

in people with neurotypicism. 

When dealing with behaviour, we 

tend to think only of the immediate 

situation: what happened just 

before this behaviour? What should 

the consequence, the after, be for 

this behaviour? These things are 

important of course but we are all 

more than the moment we are in; 

our history and the stories we are 

told shape us. This is something I 

touch upon in my course Exploring 

the Impact the Senses have on 

Behaviour. 

So what are these paradigms? They 

are not necessarily big stories, they 

are the little ones: that eye contact 

is polite, that parties are fun. 

They are contained within other 

stories: that we must feel emotions 

constantly, that to be solitary is a 

sign of something wrong. They are 

habituated into our daily rituals: 

shoes must stay on our feet and 

coats should be worn in the rain. 

As with the gender bias paradigms 

of the past, they are incredibly hard 

to spot from within. As a parent, 

I vet the stories I read my son so 

that he knows not all women are 

wet blankets waiting around for 

someone else to have ideas and 

that men are allowed to have 

emotions and interests outside 

of fighting. Yet as a child, I never 

questioned why the princess in 

the tower simply sat and waited, 

I never questioned why I must sit 

with my legs crossed always whilst 

the boy next to me can sit with his 

knees apart. 

Escaping the stories that hold 

us takes a lot of time, and often 

outside perspectives are required 

to help us better see the bars of 

our own cages. I encourage you 

to look for narratives told from 

different perspectives. Look at the 

start of any minority movement 

and you will see the power of 

personal stories shared. I am 

trying to do my bit by sharing tiny 

shards of my life on the spectrum 

in a photo album on Facebook. It 

can be worth exploring if you want 

to increase your awareness of 

neurodivergence. 

Joanna Grace 

Joanna Grace is an 

international Sensory 

Engagement and Inclusion 

Specialist, trainer, author, TEDx 

speaker and founder of The 

Sensory Projects. 

Consistently rated as 

“outstanding” by Ofsted, 

Joanna has taught in 

mainstream and specialschool 

settings, connecting 

with pupils of all ages and 

abilities. To inform her 

work, Joanna draws on her 

own experience from her 

private and professional life 

as well as taking in all the 

information she can from the 

research archives. Joanna’s 

private life includes family 

members with disabilities and 

neurodivergent conditions and 

time spent as a registered 

foster carer for children with 

profound disabilities. 

Joanna has published four 

practitioner books: “Multiple 

Multisensory Rooms: Myth 

Busting the Magic”, “Sensory 

Stories for Children and Teens”, 

“Sensory-Being for Sensory 

Beings” and “Sharing Sensory 

Stories and Conversations with 

People with Dementia”. and 

two inclusive sensory story 

children’s books: “Voyage to 

Arghan” and “Ernest and I”. 

Joanna is a big fan of social 

media and is always happy 

to connect with people 

via Facebook, Twitter and 

LinkedIn. 

Website: 

thesensoryprojects.co.uk 



LGBT History 

Month 

Winston Churchill famously said: “History is written by the victors” and some 

historians have proved him right by writing somewhat biased accounts about 

people in power, sometimes ignoring various social sectors and marginalising whole 

communities in the process. Last year, we wrote about how Black History Month was 

important to try to redress the balance of written history to include the contributions 

made over the centuries by Black people. This month we look at how LGBT History 

Month can do the same for the LGBT community and why it is important to celebrate it. 

What is LGBT History Month? 

LGBT History Month runs for the whole 

of February every year and is organised 

by Schools OUT, a UK-based, LGBT 

education charity. The LGBT (Lesbian, 

Gay, Bisexual and Trans) community is 

one section of society which has often 

been ignored or overlooked and much 

of the contribution of LGBT people to 

society has been overshadowed for 

years. Some communities have been 

disregarded, ostracised and even 

criminalised just for being themselves, 

and it has taken a lot of sacrifice, 

activism and time for a lot of LGBT 

people to be accepted for who they are. 

including nursery schools, talking 

about LGBT matter is NOT about trying 

to influence anyone’s sexuality, in the 

same way that teaching the history of 

the holocaust is not about promoting 

the views of the Third Reich. 

However, it IS about: 

ܬ‎ normalising language used when 

talking about LGBT matters 

ܬ‎ not being afraid to mention that 

people in current life and history, for 

example, Oscar Wilde, were gay, and 

this influenced much of their work 

These values underpin our very society 

and are used to protect British citizens 

by creating a sort of ‘code of conduct’ 

which we aim to adhere to. The last 3 

values are vital in accepting, promoting 

and celebrating our diversity, so 

that people of all creeds, races and 

sexualities can feel safe and valued. 

The theme for the month is “Poetry, 

Prose and Plays” and there are 

resources on the website to celebrate 

‘The Four Faces Of 2020’, being 

playwright Lorraine Hansberry, author 

E.M. Forster, William Shakespeare and 

biographer Dawn Langley Simmons. 

ܬ‎ Ensure all educational places and 

organisations are safe spaces 

for LGBT people so they can live 

without fear of intimidation or 

bullying; you could run a general 

anti-bullying message for a week 

and include LGBT issues 

ܬ‎ Promote welfare for LGBT people so 

they can reach their full potential 

and contribute to society by living 

fulfilled and effective lives; if you 

employ any LGBT people, make 

sure they have access to CPD and 

career advancement in line with 

their experience and aptitude. 

Tips on talking about LGBT in 

your setting 

One of the things that stops people 

talking about LGBT matters, is that that 

they may not feel comfortable about 

addressing the topic, or they may feel 

they do not know how to appropriately 

introduce the topic to colleagues or 

children. If this is the case, both the 

Schools OUT website and the LGBT 

History Month website include many 

resources to help educational staff with 

lesson plans and ideas. 

There is no one right way to tackle 

these issues, everyone will have things 

that they feel more comfortable talking 

about. Some people cannot talk to 

others about anything related to sexual 

relationships, even in a biological 

context. So here are some tips to help: 

ܬ‎ Practice with your colleagues so 

that you feel more comfortable 

answering if a child asks you “what 

does gay or lesbian mean?” 

ܬ‎ Use the language in a normal way. 

Don’t try to use euphemisms or 

‘imply’ things – use the words, gay, 

lesbian, bisexual and transgender. 

ܬ‎ Keep it simple and talk about 

love and relationships first and 

foremost, and do so in an ageappropriate 

way. You could say, 

“Gay means two people of the 

same gender who love each other 

– two women or two men.” 

ܬ‎ You might want to give an example 

of couples that the children may 

know from TV or celebrities. Like 

Elton John and David Furnish, who 

loved each other and got married. 

ܬ‎ Think about introducing genderidentity 

into your setting using 

appropriate children’s books 

like “Red” by Michael Hall or 

“Not Quite Narwhal” by Jessie 

Sima. These books introduce 

the idea of accepting people for 

being themselves to children in a 

charming and insightful way. There 

are many others. 

ܬ‎ Sometimes the questions you get 

are not really about what gay is. 

For example, if a child says to 

you “Jess says Billy’s dad is gay, 

what’s that?”, consider if you need 

to respond with an answer about 

what being gay is, or is this a case 

of tackling some name-calling or 

bullying first? 

Whatever you do, let us know by 

sending us an email to marketing@ 

parenta.com with your news and 

photos. 

Homosexuality was only decriminalised 

in 1967 and same-sex marriages 

were only legalised in England and 

Wales in 2013, with the first wedding 

in 2014. Acceptance and equality 

have been a long time coming, and 

even today, forms of discrimination, 

fear and misunderstandings exist. 

There have been LGBT people within 

all communities since the beginning 

of time, so isn’t it time that their 

contribution was recognised and 

celebrated too? 

What are the aims? 

The overall aim of LGBT History month 

is to “promote equality and diversity for 

the benefit of the public”, because if 

we can accept others for who they are, 

then we are more likely to be accepted 

for who we are. For all establishments, 

ܬ‎ challenging homophobia or 

bullying of LGBT people, and 

ܬ‎ promoting tolerance and 

acceptance of all people as human 

beings, regardless of their sexuality 

There are five British Values which 

are educational establishments are 

obliged to teach: 

Democracy 

The rule of law 

ܬ 

ܬ 

LGBT History 

Individual liberty 

Month 

ܬ 

Mutual respect 

Tolerance of those of different faiths 

and beliefs 

ܬ 

ܬ 

LGBT History Month is a time to: 

Increase the visibility of lesbian, 

gay, bisexual and transgender 

people – not only acknowledging 

them, but celebrating their history, 

their lives and their experiences 

– as ‘agents of change, not just 

as victims of discrimination’. 

Introducing some of them or 

their work to the children in your 

setting can promote tolerance and 

understanding from an early age 

ܬ 

ܬ‎ Raise awareness and increase 

understanding on matters 

affecting the LGBT community – 

see the website for various events 

you could attend or set up an 

awareness day, perhaps focusing 

on tolerance or acceptance 



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Parenta Magazine February 2020

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