2019 May

Featured Model
Ify Whitefield
Most of my life I have
struggled with low selfesteem.
People who
know me would think this
statement is ludicrous,
because I am a very confident individual. I
can imagine them wondering, how can someone
who seems so bold, and confident have
low self-esteem? According to a 2016 article
found in Forbes Magazine, “Confidence is
a belief in your ability to succeed – a belief
that stimulates action. Self-esteem refers to
your opinion of yourself, how well you value
yourself, and the power you allow yourself
to have. Everything you think and say
and do affects your confidence and selfesteem”.
It’s not common that people who
struggle with low self-esteem have high selfconfidence,
but for me this is the case. I too
have often wondered how two diametrically
opposed beings, one a child who is unsure of
herself and the other a fierce strong women ready
to conquer the world, share the same headspace.
To understand how this is possibly I’ll share my
memories of what I believe led to this internal division.
As a British-Nigerian child growing up in a predominantly
Caucasian neighborhood in London, my dark skin, wide
nose, and big lips were seen as unattractive amongst my
peers. I was taunted for having “double rubber” lips, and
called racial slurs, so I quickly understood that in my present
society, being black was not something desirable, and
thus not beautiful. My perception of beauty, which was
what I would call “white washed”, was reinforced by the