CCChat-Magazine_Issue-14

As I said above, perpetrators will target what is held dear by
a victim or what makes them vulnerable so each case will
involve behaviour targeted specifically at that particular
victim, and so it would be impossible to attempt to list all of
the different examples of behaviour used against a victim of
coercive control.
Gaslighting is a very common tactic used by a perpetrator of
coercive control and involves the perpetrator repeatedly
trying to convince the victim that they are wrong about
something even when they aren’t. It can lead to victims
starting to believe that they are wrong and doubting their own
sanity. Examples can include a perpetrator hiding her car
keys and pretending that she must have left them in the
fridge, turning off the oven so that she thinks she must have
done it and forgotten, denying that they have said things or
even had whole conversations. Examples of coercive control
given within the guidance framework for the law include:
Coercive control may include financial abuse, whereby a
perpetrator withholds money from a victim totally, or allows
them access to small pots of money which they then have to
account to him for each penny, with consequences if she is
unable to account fully or if he disagrees with what she spent
money on, even though by rights the money actually belongs
to her.
I have known several cases where victims have been forced
to steal sanitary products or food for their children and rather
than being treated as a victim are simply prosecuted as
criminals without anyone asking why she was doing this.
Other victims may be financially controlled by being forced to
take out debt on behalf of the perpetrator in their own name
so that they are forced to spend all of their income on
servicing the debt whilst the perpetrator retains access to all
of “his” income in addition to the money she was forced to
borrow. This means that often she would not be able to afford
to rent anywhere on her own or even afford a train ticket to
escape.
Coercive control is often the micro management of every
aspect of your life including, in some cases, when you are
allowed to go to the toilet. I have spoken to many clients who
have been forced to ask permission to go to the toilet which
is often refused forcing them to suffer the humiliation of
having to wet themselves.
The Home Office published a Statutory Guidance Framework
in relation to the new offence of coercive control which
helpfully sets out the law and gives examples of the type of
behaviour that might be used as a pattern of behaviour by a
perpetrator but the guide makes it clear that the list is not
exhaustive.
isolating a person from their friends and family;
depriving them of their basic needs;
monitoring their time;
monitoring a person via online communication tools or
using spyware;
taking control over aspects of their everyday life, such as
where they can go, who they can see, what to wear and
when they can sleep;
depriving them of access to support services, such as
specialist support or medical services;
repeatedly putting them down such as telling them they
are worthless;
enforcing rules and activity which humiliate, degrade or
dehumanise the victim;
forcing the victim to take part in criminal activity such as
shoplifting,
neglect or abuse of children to encourage self-blame and
prevent disclosure to authorities;
financial abuse including control of finances, such as only
allowing a person a punitive allowance;
threats to hurt or kill;
threats to a child;
threats to reveal or publish private information (e.g.
threatening to ‘out’ someone).
assault;
criminal damage (such as destruction of household
goods);
rape;
preventing a person from having access to transport or
from working.
monitoring someone online
Taken in isolation some of the examples may seem trivial
however, taken as a whole with multiple examples day in day
out, the behaviour becomes unbearable and has a
devastating effect on the victim. Many victims of prolonged
coercive control suffer with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Making The Invisible Visible