CLUNCH April May 2020 issue

Exciting new development
for the old Barclays Bank
building in Burwell
Personal Adverts
62 year old divorcee Looking for man 60-
75 who looks 50-55. No long hair, baldness,
facial hair, tattoos, piercings, children, debts,
or serious health conditions. Must have own
teeth.
Young, charming, thoughtful, attractive,
sporty, zesty, intelligent. None of these are
me, but if you’d like to spend an afternoon
or more considering alternative adjectives
to be applied to a cantankerous 53-year-old
man, contact me now.
Barclays Bank closed its Branch in Burwell
way back in November 2017 and it has
remained empty since. We have recently
found out that an exciting planning proposal
is being put forward by two entrepreneurs to
turn the building into a climbing centre.
Climbing walls have become big business
as it’s become a popular way to keep fit and
has been given a boost by being included
as a sport in this years Tokyo Olympics.
However there has been a major setback to
the proposal as the building isn’t quite tall
enough to accommodate the regulation 50ft
height required by the climbing governing
body.
After consultation with structural engineers
the entrepreneurs have decided to excavate
the existing floor to allow for extra headroom.
Although it seemed a practical solution after
carrying out test bores of the site they found
that the water table will be too high. This has
not put them off as they have seen this as
challenge and not a problem.
They have now put in a second proposal
to extend the climbing wall down into the
water table and combine the facility with
a scuba diving school. This will now be the
first of its kind in the UK and should attract
the growing number of diver climbers in the
country. Plans are scheduled to go on public
display on the 1st April 2020 in the Gardiner
Memorial Hall.
3’ 5” male seeking female of similar size to
share miniature life with miniature dog in a
miniature house. Must have GSOH.
Are you fed up of single person supplements.
Wanted a fellow traveller for sharing and
enjoying holidays and expenses. Any age or
sex but must be happy to share a room with
someone who snores loudly.
50 something cannabis smoking male with
GSOH looking for like minded female for
trips together. Must supply own pot.
Small Adverts
WANTED:
Someone to go back in time with me.
This is no joke. Apply at PO box 122.
You’ll get paid after we get back. Must
supply your own weapons as safety is not
guaranteed. I have only done this once
before.
Wheelbarrow
Well used but in good condition. As seen,
buyer to collect. Will need replacement
wheel as this is missing.
Commode for sale.
Solid Oak light brown stain.
Only £5
56 CLUNCH MAGAZINE