The Top Ender Magazine December January 2021 Edition
You will start to see some changes throughout this edition and into the next. The Top Ender is very excited to be producing a magazine solely by Defence Families for Defence Famlies.
You will start to see some changes throughout this edition and into the next.
The Top Ender is very excited to be producing a magazine solely by Defence Families for Defence Famlies.
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From the<br />
Padre’s Pen<br />
This time of year in the <strong>Top</strong> End there is a lot of talk about ‘the build-up’.<br />
I like to go to the gym at lunch time. Some days I’m just too busy but<br />
I feel guilty about it all afternoon. I like to phone my kids every other day.<br />
Sometimes I forget and do I feel guilty about it.<br />
Sadly we still live in a world where mums are meant to be super<br />
human. Have a career, be the world’s greatest mum, perfect spouse<br />
and lover. But if one of the kids get sick and they have to leave work<br />
early, they feel guilty. Many of us are often live with feelings of failure, a<br />
build-up of guilt, not living up to some self-imposed ideal.<br />
We are often assaulted with internal noise in our heads; the build-up<br />
of guilt screaming at us!<br />
In his book “Cut the Noise” author Chris Helder shares the idea of only<br />
allowing yourself the luxury of ‘ten second of guilt’. Guilt is not useful. All<br />
we do is become so much less effective in what we are trying to do right<br />
now. We’re often trapped in a vicious cycle: playing with the kids but<br />
thinking about work; at work feeling guilty about a missed appointment;<br />
spending money you don’t have trying to impress people who are not<br />
important in your life or feeling guilty about lying to someone so you<br />
could just have 15 minutes to yourself.<br />
Get rid of guilt and we’ll all be so much more effective at home, at<br />
work, in everything we are doing. If someone has intentionally done<br />
something wrong or bad it is important for them to feel guilt to learn a<br />
lesson but there is a point where it is no longer useful to continue to beat<br />
yourself up. Helder says “If guilt relates to one of two critical situations<br />
then we should use the ‘10 Seconds of Guilt” technique and move on.<br />
<strong>The</strong> Two Critical Situations<br />
1. Feeling Guilty about something we Cannot Change<br />
For example: If you are on a business trip there is no sense in feeling<br />
guilty about not being home. You are not at home. Nothing will get you<br />
home. Have your 10 Seconds of Guilt – AND MOVE ON! Focus on the<br />
task at hand. Feeling guilty doesn’t help anyone. It doesn’t help your<br />
family and it doesn’t help your employer.<br />
2. Feeling Guilty about failing to be Perfect<br />
We can often feel guilty about our failure to meet an unrealistic standards<br />
based on the idea that we should be perfect. It’s not normal to be perfect.<br />
It is human to make mistakes. It is human to have imperfections.<br />
I love the John Legend song: “All of me, loves all of you, all your curves<br />
and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections….”<br />
We all have perfect imperfections. Get rid of guilt. Many people think the<br />
Bible is all about making you feel guilty. <strong>The</strong> total opposite is true. John<br />
3:17 says “For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the<br />
world, but that the world through Him might be saved”. Romans 8:1 is<br />
similar, “<strong>The</strong>re is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in<br />
Christ Jesus.”<br />
Chaplain Garth Mayger<br />
S08 | 1 CSSB<br />
<strong>The</strong> Build Up<br />
36 <strong>The</strong> <strong>Top</strong> <strong>Ender</strong> | Tri-Services <strong>Magazine</strong> Incorporated<br />
Due to alterations in telephone numbers and recent<br />
postings, the updated contact list for Chaplains is given<br />
below.<br />
ADF Chaplains in the NT<br />
Navy On-call: 0409 662 823<br />
Shaun Foster HMAS Coonawarra<br />
Australian Christian Churches 8935 5388<br />
| 0400 514 375<br />
Kelvin Harris Fleet North/ HMAS<br />
Coonawarra Anglican 8935 5183 | 0457<br />
712 743<br />
Army On-call: 0427 713 963<br />
James Hall 8/12 Anglican<br />
8925 2457 | 0429 345 167<br />
Piotr Kowalczyk Regional Support,<br />
Roman Catholic 8925 2662 | 0409 778<br />
462<br />
Chris Lindsay 1 CER Presbyterian<br />
8925 6414 | 0418 428 337<br />
Garth Mayger 1 CSSB Roman Catholic<br />
8925 9005 | 0419 869 187<br />
Phil Riley HQ1 BDE Anglican<br />
8925 2018 | 0407 283 050<br />
Ricky Su 5 RAR Baptist<br />
8925 2754 | 0408 684 783<br />
Airforce On-call Darwin:<br />
0477 308 064<br />
Airforce On-call Tindal:<br />
0427 890 054<br />
Mitch Herps RAAF Tindal Anglican<br />
8973 6032 | 0438 493 232<br />
Andrew Knox RAAF Tindal Anglican<br />
8973 6033 | 0457 803 372<br />
Nathan Runham RAAF Darwin<br />
Presbyterian 8923 5015 | 0419 694 178<br />
Angela Stanfield RAAF Darwin<br />
Anglican<br />
8923 5016 | 0417 953 396<br />
All three services provide a 24/7 on-call number for emergencies.<br />
Each unit / Ship / Base has its own chaplain who<br />
can assist. If your chaplain is not available, please contact<br />
the on-call number for your Service. Denominational or<br />
faith-specific ministry can be arranged as required.
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