GMOT: THE (e)MAGAZINE

G H O S T M A N O N T H I R D : T H E M A G A Z I N E
Week One’s
Thieves of Joy
CLUBWAKA .COM
J
31 2020

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
Those Park Rules Some of
Staff
Park Rules
Park Map
Results
Matchups
Themes
League Rules
Home Run Leaders
You Skipped Last Week
Beer Can will result in season ban, Fido is
a No-Go, & pee like an adult.
Thieves of Joy
Who was the best at stealing away players’
happiness in Week 1? Come find out!
Power Rankings
Where does your team stand at the start?
Recaps, projections, and musings from our
staff.

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
COVID-19 has thrown
more curveballs than
Sonny Koufax, but
after a longer than
anticipated offseason,
CLUBWAKA Summer
Beach League
kickball returns.
Erika Myers
League & Social Manager
erika@CLUBWAKA.com
Erika Myers will
return at the helm for
her 9th year running
the league. Though it
is a smaller league,
Erika is excited about the opportunity this
provides players to get to know each other
better.
Patrick PK Carey
GMOT & Rankings Specialist
pcarey@clubwaka.com
PK returns for a third season
with Erika to provide weekly
content for the GMOT and stir
the pot with the oft-debated
Power Rankings.
“I know it has been a challenging time for
people,” she says. Erika hopes the league
allows players to get out, safely socialize, and
have fun.
Though COVID-19 has definitely made 2020 a
bit of a bummer, Erika says, “There are always
good vibes in the summer league!”
Joining her to handle the new GMOT: The
Magazine will be Patrick PK Carey and
newcomer, Melvin Conyers.
Melvin Conyers
Stats Guy & Media Contributor
mconyers@clubwaka.com
Melvin joins the team this year
to contribute media, content,
and serving as the GMOT
Stats specialist. He will coordinate
the Home Run Leaderboard.
Page | 3

Don’t be the one to screw things up for everyone else.
O ur playing fields are run by the
City so we need to pay close
attention to their rules to ensure we
will have fields to play on for the
season.
Pets are not allowed at the park.
Please make plans to keep your pets
at home or we will have to ask you
and your pet to leave.
Alcoholic beverage containers
are not allowed at the park. This
includes the fields & parking
lots.
Also making the prohibited list are
glass bottles, coolers, funnels,
packs/cases of beer, and kegs.
No matter how many plastic
bags you wrap it in, that 6-30
pack box is not okay.
All beverages should be kept in
opaque containers such as Bubba
kegs, Thermos bottles, Solo cups, or
anything that cannot be seen
through. Clear or colored see
through cups are not allowed.
All trash must be picked up before
you leave the field. Trash cans are
available throughout the park. Don’t
litter. It’s bad for the environment
and it’s just not cool.
Carver Center has Porta-Johns
located by the front of the building.
Please use them like a domesticated
adult. Anyone caught “going
caveman” on the field or in the open
will be suspended for the remainder
of league play.
Anyone violating the beverage
policy will be asked to leave the
premises and may be suspended
for the remainder of the season.
Page | 4

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
*Actual field size, greenness, layout, and line-straightness may vary.
**Not enlarged to show texture.
Page | 5

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
Pitch Please vs Chug Norris
1 11
three sick mafia vs SQUAD
5 10
Page | 6

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
Referees: Kickzilla
FIELD 1
Crush vs SQUAD
FIELD 2
Pitch Please vs Jaggin Off
Referees: Chug Norris
Tag ‘Em & Bag ‘Em vs Chug Norris
Referees: Pitch Please
FIELD 1
Kickzilla vs 3 Sick Mafia
Referees: Jaggin Off
FIELD 2
Referees: SQUAD
FIELD 1
Crush vs Tag ‘em & Bag ‘Em
FIELD 2
Kickzilla vs Jaggin Off
Referees: 3 Sick Mafia
Page | 7

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
Week 3
Slumber Party
Week 4
Denim on Denim
Week 5
Video Game Characters
Week 6
Wild Kingdom / Tiger King
Page | 8

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
I t happens every season. One team argues a call. The other team looks on perplexed
or makes a ridiculous counterargument. A referee gets dragged into an argument
about a non-existent or misinterpreted rule while questioning and poorly-planned
beverage supply
Be a good CLUBWAKA citizen! Read the rules and get a basic understanding of them. Also,
realize that this is a children’s game that we are lucky to play as adults. Time arguing
= less time kicking balls. Below is a quick summary of the rules.
You can find links to the official league rules in the Official CLUBWAKA League e-mail
and on the website at www.CLUBWAKA.com.
GAMEPLAY BASICS
· Games last 7 innings or One hour.
· 10 players in the field: 6 male, 4 female.
· 4 Balls = Walk. If 4 balls on 4 pitches, 2 Base walk.
· 3 Strikes = Out. 3 Fouls = Out.
· Strikes are not Fouls.
NO MUNTING
Males may not bunt. If the ball is kicked on the ground, it must go past the line between
1 st and 3 rd base. If the ball is touched by a defensive player before it crosses the line it
will be considered a foul ball.
If the ball is kicked in the air and is touched by a defender before the line while still in
the air, it is a fair ball and play resumes.
UNDERHAND PITCHING
Ball must be released below the waist, underhand, with no spin. Balls do roll forward.
Spin moves a ball in other directions.
Page | 9

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
Each week, we’ll take a look at one party who decided
that fun is overrated and lent their hand at ruining it for everyone. We’ll
take a look and crown the top buzz killers, fun suckers, party downers, and/
or moment murderers of the Week.
Week One’s title goes to...
The Beverage Policy Rebels!
They decided three paragraphs telling them
to not be “THAT GUY/GIRL” and to put drinks
in an opaque container were stupid.
EVERYONE, including a cop, needed to see
their Bud Light pride in all its glory! They
weren’t going to let a silly beverage policy
infringe on their Freedom to Express their
preference in cheap beer. This is America!
Well, they Red, White, and Blew it for
everyone playing at 8:00 PM.
Do everyone a favor and flip back to Page 4 to
read the Beverage Policy. Then, go buy a
Thermos, Bubba Keg, Yeti/Ozark Trail/RTIC or
any of the other 4,738 brands of knock-off
insulated cup no one can see through to hold
beverages going forward.
Page | 10

CLUBWAKA Power Rankings are for entertainment purposes only. They are based purely on the opinion of
the Power Ranker(s) and speculaon. If you are upset about your ranking, you are doing kickball wrong and
should focus that energy back into having some fun and laughing off the ridiculousness of not being ranked
#1. Official League Standings can be found on the League page at www.CLUBWAKA.com.
#1 Crush (0-0)
Can’t exactly fault them for not geng to play last week. Crush will maintain the top
spot but will have their hands full trying to maintain it with a daunng double-header.
Before they get to play their make-up game against Tag ‘Em & Bag ‘Em, they will have
to try test their mele against a Squad team fresh off a 10-5 win over last year’s runner
up. Also, our apologies to Phil Meide who was overlooked as the captain and kickball
mastermind behind Crush.
Squad (1-0) 2
Squad came out swinging and put up 10 runs against the usually stout defense of Three
Sick Mafia. While it’s not clear if the chain-link backstop owes Squad money, it certainly
took a beang from their kicks. This team believes they should have been in the #1 spot
from the start, but they will get the chance to actually earn that billing when they take
on Crush at 7:00 PM
3 Three Sick Mafia (0 -1)
Perhaps that was a “My Bad” with the curse of the commentator, because aer
menoning 3SM’s affinity for capitalizing on errors, they ended up making a few
costly ones of their own, derailing their comeback efforts against Squad. While they
were on the wrong side of a 10-5 scoreline, their performance certainly jusfied
their belonging in the Top 4. This week, 3SM will look to bounce back by toppling
Kickzilla.
Tag ‘Em & Bag ‘Em (0-0) 4
Another team that was le waing in the wings last week. Tag ‘em & Bag ‘Em was
not happy about their placement in the rankings and was looking to start their
season off with a upset. Instead, T&B will wait to finally take the field and at 8:00 PM
to get their 2020 campaign against Chug Norris. Will they have enough le in the
tank aerwards to take down Crush at 9:00 PM?
Page | 11

GMOT W T | 7.31.2020
5 Jaggin Off (0-0)
This New Look Jaggin Off squad got a chance to build some comradery and get
a lile pracce in at another locaon. Everyone knows playing with yourself is
nothing like the real thing, but they’ll get a chance to finally get some real ac-
on this week with games against Pitch Please at 7:00 PM and Kickzilla at
9:00PM with a nice break inbetween to rest and drink some Gatorade.
Kickzilla (0-0) 6
Kickzilla arrived just to be told the party was shut down. It seems like a solid
strategy that cies should remember for future Zilla aacks. Nobody deprives
this team of their kickball though and they found a spot to let the rubber fly in
an exhibion match. Was it enough to knock the rust off? If not, we hope they
pack some WD-40 this week with a double-header featuring Three Sick Mafia at
8:00 and Jaggin Off at 9:00 PM.
7 Chug Norris (1-0)
Not sure what they le as tribute to their shrine of Chuck Norris, but the kicking
Gods smiled upon them last week they scored a staggering 11 runs in their season
debut against Pitch Please. Hopefully, Chug Norris can channel those good
graces again this week, because they are going to need it against a well-rested
Tag ’Em & Bag ’Em team that feels jilted about their placement.
Pitch Please (0-1) 8
Rough start to the season, but Power Ranking Cliché #7 states: It’s not how you
start, it’s how you finish! Pitch Please took an 11-1 shellacking at the hands of Chug
Norris who came out in full (Delta) force. Just like the red rubber balls, they have to
keep rolling and bounce back in the right direcon. Will they be able to do that in
Week 2 against Jaggin Off? P 2 has the advantage of geng their wheels spinning
last week.
Page | 12

For the Big Al’s of Kickball who just want to hit dingers. If you or one of your
teammates kicks a homerun in your game, be sure to let Melvin know by
sending an e-mail to mconyers@clubwaka.com. We will update the GMOT
Leaderboard weekly and crown League Champion at the end of the season.

Hi,
I heard some of ya’ll got the league into a little pickle last week. I’m a Bubba
Keg and I’d like to help. Did you know that I can hold about 52 oz. of
delicious beverages in my insulated body? That’s four 12oz. Cans/bottles
with some room to spare for foam! I even have a built-in bottle opener if
you’re feeling fancy. Despite all these great features, I am available for
$14.99 on Amazon and at your local Wal-Mart stores.
I also have smaller family members that cost less and still provide that same
great work of concealing your adult beverages and keeping them cold. Let
me help you avoid fines and keep Kickball happening at Carver Park. Hope
to see you soon!
Love,
Bubba K.
*Bubba Brands, Wal-Mart, and Amazon are not affiliated with CLUBWAKA and are in no way responsible for the content of this ad.