27062021 - Kaduna, Borno, Niger, Benue strruggle over 3 million IDP

PAGE 30—SUNDAY VANGUARD, JUNE 27, 2021
One year after, I still sit by Ajimobi’s tomb
to take morning coffee — Widow
*Says she stopped praying to God when she lost husband
By Ola Ajayi, Ibadan
Mrs Florence Aji
mobi, widow of
the late former
Governor of Oyo State, Senator
Abiola Ajimobi, has
said that one year after the
death of her husband, she
still sits by his tomb to take
morning coffee.
The widow made this
known in a tribute she wrote
to mark one year anniversary
of the passage of her husband
which held at the International
Conference
Centre, University of Ibadan
on Friday.
She said, “I won’t lie that
it has been easy to ‘move on’,
as a lot of people have advised
or would expect. He is
the love of my life, moving
on won’t be a walk in the
park for me, but I am willing
to take things one day at
a time.
“ When I visit our home in
Ibadan, it has become a routine
for me to sit by his tomb
and take my early morning
coffee. The fact that I know
he is there with me makes
me happy and I plan to relish
these moments.”
Ajimobi died on June 25,
2020 at a Lagos hospital and
was buried June 28, 2020 at
the family’s Ibadan home.
Revealing that it was painful
that both of them never
discussed death in their over
40 years as a couple, the
former first lady said they
both tested positive for coronavirus
on May 20, 2020.
Recalling the great moments
they had together, Mrs.
Ajimobi said, “ When my
heartthrob, Biola, and I decided
in 1980 that we were
ready to get married after a
very short friendship of six
months, I was very excited.
Believe me, we had the best
relationship anyone could
have asked God for in the 40
years that we were together.
“Unfortunately, loss, heartbreak
and death are no respecter
of persons. We watch
dreams die, see people leave,
lose their careers and even
lose their loved ones but we
never really know how it feels
until we experience it ourselves”.
“On the 20th of May, 2020,
Biola and I tested positive
with COVID-19 and we started
our isolation at our Ikoyi
home together, taking our
medications and doing all we
were advised to do by the doctor.
“On the 26th of May, we
both went to bed together but
early in the morning of the
27th, I had to rush him to the
First Cardiology Consultant
Hospital, in Ikoyi. You cannot
even imagine my confusion
because this husband of
mine had never fallen this ill
in our 40 years of marriage.
Anyways, he got admitted
and it became the beginning
•Ajimobi
of my journey without him
around me.
“Oh! I prayed like I had
never done in my entire life.
I must at this point commend
my children and their
friends who prayed tirelessly
during this period. It was
a period filled with fear and
hope for me. I believed God
was going to answer my
prayers and bring my husband
back home, but alas,
on Thursday, 25th June,
2020, loss came knocking on
my door and my world
stopped when I was told my
other half had left me to be
with our Maker.
“I ran out of the house and
headed straight to the hospital
with a glimmer of
hope for a miracle. When I
saw my beloved husband
on the bed, my heart was
shattered. It dawned on me
that my world had actually
come to an end as my own
best friend and the one who
gave me strength was dead.
I just could not take it in.
How? Why? These were
questions I asked every
minute but none could answer
me, no one could help
me, it seemed like I was going
crazy.
“I went back home from
the hospital and the place
was filled with friends and
family who had come to
sympathize but none of
them knew what was going
on inside me. I was too confused
to understand what
was happening around me.
On Friday, plans began on
how to take him to Ibadan,
Oyo State to be buried. I
left for Ibadan on Saturday
filled with shame because I
felt that God had abandoned
me despite my ‘supposed’
relationship with
Him.
“My trauma began as I
stepped into our home in
Ibadan for the first time after
the incident. I went into
our bedroom, laid on his
side of the bed and I cried
out my heart, calling unto
Biola and praying that all I
was going through was just
a dream. That night, sleep
eluded me as I tossed and
turned on the bed throughout
the night. I opened all
his side of our wardrobes
and kept talking to myself –
honestly, I felt I was going
insane or believed I was to
think he was dead.
“I longed to die..no thrill
in life again”
Continuing, she wrote further
that she kept praying
that God should just take her
away to be with her soulmate.
“During this period, I had
stopped praying to God. I
told God I did not want His
help anymore since He took
the one person I cherished
the most away. When pastors
or my friends came to pray
with me, I looked at them as
time wasters. Sometimes, I
was filled with hatred for
them – why would they be
talking about God who
didn’t hear me when I
prayed and cried unto Him
to spare the life of Biola?
“The loss of a loved one
hurts, and learning to live
with it is a long, difficult but
necessary process. What I
have learnt and can tell you
for free is this; in our loss and
grief, we can feel so alone
and isolated, but God never
leaves us when we hurt. He
actually promised to be
close to us and bandage us
Faces at the event as captured by Dare Fasube
up in tough times.
“I was filled with so much
sadness and pain that I went
to bed every night praying
not wake up in the morning.
When I woke up next morning
I asked myself, ‘you are
up again?’ Then finally, the
mandatory Islamic mourning
period came to an end.
My fear after the mourning
period became how to start
going out to face people, still
carrying my load of shame
and failure.
“My Biola was unique.
Talking about him makes
me happy and thinking
about him gives my heart joy.
To be honest, it is the only
thing that has made me
smile lately, besides my wonderful
children, of course.
After a while, I felt some sort
of relief or so I thought until
we had to celebrate the first
ILEYA (an elaborate Islamic
celebration) without him.
ILEYA was normally a big
celebration for us as a couple
and family. I was hoping
I’d wake up from the dream
of him being dead and he
would ask me for his new
outfit for the celebration. It
was not a dream. He was really
gone and we had to celebrate
without him. It did not
feel the same. It would never
feel the same without him. I
cried bitterly on that day and
went to his tomb asking him
amidst tears why he left me?
“You know, there’s really
no timeline for how long
grief and pain last. One really
does not know how or
when he or she will find closure.
I will be honest with
you, I still feel like I am in a
rollercoaster. One minute
I’m feeling strong and confident,
next minute, I am
overwhelmed with grief but
I am grateful for the good
and bad days”.
Mrs Florence Ajimobi and children
From right: Mrs Ajimobi and former Governor Adebayo Alao-Akala of
Oyo State among others.
Governor Dapo
Abiodun of Ogun
State (left) and Minister
of Internal Affairs,
Ogbeni Rauf
Aregbesola.
From left:
Representative
of the
wife of the
President,
Hajia Aishat
Rimi; wife of
the Vice President,
Mrs
Oludolapo
Osibajo, and
Mrs Ajimobi.
From left: Dr Mrs
Nike Akande, a former
Minister of Indusry,
Chief Folake Solanke
(SAN) and Chief Mrs
Priscilla Kuye.