July-August 2021

New NHEG Heights Magazine Educational | July - August Group 2021
www.NewHeightsEducation.org
MOTIVATING CHILDREN
By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
EDUCATOR’S GUIDE TO ENHANCING
CHILDREN’S LIFE SKILLS
By Leah Davies, M.Ed.
EDUCATOR`S GUIDE TO CHILDREN AFFECTED
BY PARENTAL DRUG ABUSE
By Leah Davies, M.ed.
• Complain of psychosomatic symptoms such as stomach or
headaches;
• Exhibit inconsistent academic work;
Encouragement means to stimulate initiative and positive actions.
Teachers, counselors, and parents are asked to encourage children to
do their best by acknowledging their efforts and strengths. However,
when children do not feel good about themselves or their situation,
they need to be reminded of ways they can encourage themselves and
each other.
Ask your students for examples of thoughts that help them feel better
Children learn life skills by observing the adults in their lives. Therefore,
if we want children to be socially and emotionally competent,
we must be cognizant of our own behavior and accept responsibility
for being a role model. Review the following actions and reflect on
how well you exemplify them.
• Show genuine warmth, respect and caring
• Model honesty, dependability, and fairness
A conservative estimate is that one in six children in school today has a
parent who is dependent on or addicted to alcohol or other drugs. This
family situation places these students at high risk for social and emotional
problems, as well as for school failure, drug use and delinquency.
Most of these children are not identified as being “at-risk” and therefore
do not receive assistance. Schools, however, are a logical place to
reach them.
• Seem unusually sad, hopeless, indifferent and/or withdrawn;
• Be the “class clown”;
• Have emotional tirades or other disruptive behaviors;
• Seem uncomfortable during a discussion of alcohol and other
drugs;
• Have a parent who is difficult to contact and who fails to keep
scheduled conferences;
• Have a parent who seems indifferent toward their child;
when they are unhappy. Explain that helpful thoughts are called positive
“self-talk” and that adults often use this as a way to cope with their
problems. List the children’s ideas on the board.
Some examples are:
• I am a good person no matter what anyone does or says.
• It is okay to make mistakes because everyone does.
• I do not give up; I keep trying.
• I think about what is good in my life.
• Everyone feels good and bad, now and then.
• I can do it!
• Foster a sense of trust and acceptance
• Value individual differences
• Give recognition freely
• Create a peaceful environment
• Provide consistent structure
• Use natural or logical consequences
• Teach problem solving skills
• Have high, but reasonable expectations
• Offer individual attention
• Demonstrate communication skills
• Listen carefully without interrupting
Most adults under the influence of alcohol or other drugs are unable to
provide a stable home environment. Emotional mistreatment, physical
violence, and a lack of cohesiveness are often characteristics of these
families (see articles, Child Abuse and Neglect and Emotional Abuse
of Children). Parents who abuse drugs tend to isolate family members
by discouraging outside relationships so their children may be unaware
of ways healthy families function. Silence regarding the “family secret”
is instilled in these students. Consequently, they are often confused,
frightened, and lonely. Their experiences can result in anxiety, depression,
rigidity, and relationship difficulties as they grow older.
• Be teased by peers who know of a parent’s drug use; and/or
• Have a parent who is observed at school or in the community
under the influence of alcohol or another drug.
Children who live within these families need an opportunity to
relate to an adult who will listen, support, and help them stay safe.
Often that person is the school counselor, but the adult could be a
teacher, another school professional or a relative. These children
need an individual who will provide encouragement by saying
something like, “You are a special person and I care about you.
What is happening is not your fault. I will be glad to listen when
you need to talk to someone.”
• Money cannot buy happiness.
• How I act is more important than how I look.
• I am lovable.
• When I smile, I feel better.
• I can do many things well.
• I cannot control what grown-ups do.
• I am unique, one of a kind.
• When I feel sad, I think of things I like about myself.
• Each new day brings a chance to do better.
• I think about my choices and then choose what is best for me.
• I will change what I can and accept what I cannot change.
• I treat others the way I want to be treated.
• Discuss feelings openly
• Acknowledge commendable behavior
• Be approachable
• Display a sense of humor
• Provide choices
• Celebrate successes
• Enjoy being with children
• Believe in each child’s worth, dignity and ability to learn
• Call children by name
• Understand that mistakes happen
• Give negative feedback privately
• Establish a positive, working relationship with parents
Identifying children of those who abuse drugs is difficult for educators.
These children come from all socioeconomic groups and exhibit a
wide range of academic abilities and social and emotional development.
They usually take on a variety of roles in a drug-abusing family.
Some children work hard to maintain the family’s appearance of being
healthy;these students are typically the family placaters and can be
model students. Others may withdraw and appear to be invisible in a
classroom of active children. These students internalize their pain and
deny their needs and feelings. Still others are obviously troubled and
act out their anger and frustration. They may play the role of the family
scapegoat who diverts attention away from the parental drug use.
Ways a School Counselor Can Assist Students of a Drug Abusing
Parent
1. Lead a classroom discussion on drug usage and its effects on
families to help normalize some of the children¹s feelings and
encourage them share their concerns. In addition, provide classroom
guidance lessons on other topics such as individual problem
solving, resiliency, self-control, life skills, etc.
2. Provide small support groups
a. Furnish a compassionate, trusting, and safe place where
students learn about alcohol and drug addiction.
b. Provide outlets for the children to explore and openly
express their anger, fear, and/or pain.
• I cannot change my family; I can only change myself.
• What I learn today will help me in the future.
After making an extensive list, have the children choose a sentence
that is meaningful to them. Ask the students to make a picture or
poster featuring their saying complete with illustrations. Have them
prominently sign their creation. Then divide into small groups or pairs
and have the children discuss their work. Caution the students to be
respectful of each other’s ideas. Display the results in the classroom or
• Participate in worthwhile, community sponsored events
Answer the following questions:
1. What are your strengths?
2. What are your weaknesses?
3. Think about an educator who was one of your role models.
What made him or her memorable?
4. Note your opportunities for growth. Name one or more things
you will try to do differently.
Through careful observing and listening, school personnel can identify
children in need of assistance.Watching the ways children interact with
peers, paying close attention to their drawings and stories, and being
aware of the following behavioral indicators can assist educators in
recognizing these students. (Note: The following list of behaviors can
also be indicative of other difficulties a child may have. The observer
needs to be cautious as he or she puts together as much information
as possible concerning the child before seeking help for him or her.)
c. Use a variety of methods such as discussion, bibliotherapy,
games, activities, dramatic play, role play, art, etc. to
reduce their feelings of isolation, guilt, and/or worthlessness.
d. Increase their protective factors such as enhancing
their communication skills, building on their strengths,
learning positive coping skills, and developing a feeling of
self-worth and autonomy (see articles, Ten Ways to Foster
Resiliency in Children and Helping Children Succeed).
in the hall to challenge
ALL children to use positive “self-talk” that will encourage them to do
their best.
This self reflection will help you assess yourself as a role model for
the life skills you are trying to develop in the children with whom
you work.
A child in a drug-abusing home may:
• Appear unkempt or dress inappropriately;
• Be tardy or absent frequently;
e. Teach the children that:
• It is not their fault that their parent abuses
drugs.
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