SCF 21 WEB

Four crucial social skills
Listening
Listening is probably the most difficult skill to master. As a matter of fact, we could all use some refinement of this skill from time to time. Learning to listen is crucial
for children to understand expectations, follow directions, and thoughtfully respond. Listening is an active process, from identifying sounds to developing language
and comprehension, that can give children advantages. Strong listening skills can lead to improved self-efficacy and confidence, mindful thinking, and empathy-all
skills that lead to an enriching life. Develop and strengthen listening skills by limiting distractions, engaging two or more senses (such as sight, hearing, movement,
touch, or smell), and setting the example.
Self Control
Self-control is a
complex skill that allows
kids to manage their
thoughts, actions, and
emotions to learn, work,
and manage daily life.
Children develop impulse,
emotional, and movement
control at different rates
throughout their childhood.
This skill allows them to
learn how to wait their turn
or wait for things they want
without throwing tantrums.
It teaches them to manage
their emotions, allowing
them to slow down and
think through their actions
and reactions.
Social Maturity
Sharing
A willingness to share
is essential in making and
keeping relationships.
Sharing teaches children
about compromise and
fairness-it teaches them to
take turns, negotiate, and
cope with disagreements and
disappointment. Children
need opportunities to learn
and practice sharing because
most younger kids are likely
to be selfish, so make sure
to point out, practice, and
praise them when they share
and play cooperatively.
Empathy
Empathy is the must-learn skill for emotional intelligence and connection but is a very complex skill to develop and nurture. It is the ability to sense, understand,
and share the feelings of another person. Teaching children that others have different thoughts and feelings starts with them feeling understood and accepted. Being
able to empathize means that a child understands that we are separate individuals with complex but sometimes common thoughts and feelings. They can look at a
situation different from theirs and imagine an appropriate and comforting shared emotional response. Dr. Brene Brown, a research professor of the grounded theory,
said, "Empathy is communicating that incredible healing message of 'You are not alone.'" Encourage children to become more empathetic by practicing effective
listening. Explore different perspectives and points of view with your child. Lastly, take a personal inventory. Be aware of your own ability to understand and share in the
perspectives of others. Positive social change starts with empathy.
Watching an age-appropriate show that your child
loves is a great way to encourage the learning and the
internalization of social skills so they can apply them in
real-life situations.
Find ways to stay connected. It is important that even
when physically apart (for whatever reason) from each
other, kids stay in contact with friends. Virtual play dates
and social bubbles are a great way to get together for
some good bonding time. Streaming platforms even
allow for watch parties, a new way for people to watch
movies or shows together in real-time. Another great
way to stay connected with friends and family is to write
handwritten letters. When we write handwritten notes,
we are writing with a very specific reader in mind. It
is a more deliberate way to demonstrate social skills
through written communication. Research says writing
and receiving letters can also make you happier! Steve
Toepfer, associate professor in Human Development
and Family Studies at Kent State University, created
an assignment in his Building Family Strength class
intended to show his students that being kind to others
has psychological benefits. He decided to measure these
benefits in a pilot study where participants wrote letters
to determine if there are benefits in terms of well-being for
the authors of the letters. The study examined the effects
of writing letters on three primary qualities of well-being:
happiness (positive affect), life satisfaction (cognitive
evaluation), and depression (negative affect). Toepher
says by making a habit of writing thoughtful letters,
“you’ll feel happier, you’ll feel more satisfied, and if you’re
suffering from depressive symptoms, your symptoms will
decrease.” Not only does writing letters keep children
connected and happy, but it also teaches them to collect
their thoughts, follow instructions, and use manners.
In the age of technology, it also gives them a chance to
practice and develop the mechanics of writing a letter
and addressing an envelope.
Finally, the best way to help your child with their social
skills is to examine your own. Children first learn to make
friends, handle conflict, and react to difficult situations
by watching you. How do you make friends? How do
you handle conflicts? Not all kids like socializing and
that can be a matter of personality. Some children also
feel anxious in social situations and would rather play
quietly by themselves. It is important to understand
that kids develop social skills at different rates and
mature at their own pace in various phases of growth:
physical, emotional, social, intellectual, and ethical or
moral. Because a child might mature in one area, one
cannot expect them to be mature in other or all areas.
Unrealistic expectations can lead to lowered self-esteem
and frustration for the children. Social maturity (a level of
behavior following the social standards that are the norm
for individuals of a particular age) is something that
children acquire over time as they learn skills and develop
the capacity to deal with the complexities of life. There
are many ways to help improve social skills but if your
child is struggling, talk to your pediatrician. While it may
just take a little more effort and reinforcement, a lack of
social skills can also be a sign to heed. ▪▪
8 l SUMMER CAMP FUN / 2021