QNotes, August 20, 2021

life
by L’Monique King
qnotes Staff Writer
Born in North Carolina, Peyton-Namire has lived
in Charlotte for most of his 22 years. On a balmy
Friday evening he hangs out at a playground where
a celebration of his girlfriend’s mother’s birthday is
about to begin. Children can be heard playing in the
background, a puppy frolics and the smell of sweet
barbeque sauces wafts up from a nearby grill. In
the midst of all this, a young trans man with an easy
smile makes time to talk to qnotes about what it’s
like to be him/them.
How do you identify?
When I’m out in public I’m a regular cis male. I don’t
live stealth; I just don’t choose to have my transness
out there. Because I live in a red state and I really
don’t feel safe knowing that people can just go into
a fit of rage just from me saying I’m transgender.
When I’m out as Peyton, I’m at an event or anything
that has to do with people of color or trans people,
and I let people know that I am trans. I want people
to know that there are trans people everywhere —
especially trans men of color. I see more white trans
men [in the media] when I see them at all.
Have you always known you’re trans?
No. I figured it out when I was 14. I can’t say that
I’ve always been trans. It took me a year and a
half to come to that conclusion. At the time I had
a partner that helped me, helped me pick out a
name for myself. I’ll never forget what they did for
me. Coming out to my parents was not an easy
experience. Anytime I tried to come out about anything
different or unique, it was not accepted and I
was seen as rebellious.
How’s your family accepting your trans identity now?
I can’t say that my family has fully accepted me; I don’t
even think they really know what that means. I think it’s
because we’re Black people and already at great risk for
discrimination and death. Adding me being trans on top
and transitioning into a Black male is even more frightening
for them.
Is that the most difficult part about being young,
Black and trans in the south, the risk of being taken
for a cis Black man?
Funny thing is, when I tell someone that I am transgender,
they’re always surprised. They don’t think that we exist. I
get people thinking I’m a male trying to be a woman. I tell
them that I’m female to male and most people don’t seem
to know what that means. We’re so invisible. Many are so
stealth that people don’t know we exist, they [stealth trans
men] go about as cis men while I have to prove my transness
to people.
Sounds like a bit of a burden. Is visibility part of your
activism or advocacy for LGBTQ youth? Would you
share a little with qnotes readers about what your role
in LGBTQ advocacy and activism looks like?
It looks like me going on stage and telling you about
me as a person and then me telling you that I’m trans.
I need you to see me as a person before you see me
as a trans person.
Going on stage? Can you elaborate?
I team up with Time Out Youth and do Speakers Bureaus
for colleges and organizations that would like to know how
to best support LGBT kids — the right way. If you teach the
teachers a little bit about pronouns or how to address a
child, that makes a big difference in kids coming to school.
Many are frightened, but having just one staff member, one
teacher they can talk to, helps a lot. It can even decrease
suicide rates. That’s why I want to go state to state to help
Our People: Peyton-Namire
Transgender Youth Discusses Safe Spaces and Misguided Words of DaBaby
establish programs for trans and non-binary kids, [so they]
can comfortably transition while they’re in school. I don’t
understand why schools don’t protect trans kids or trans
kids with disabilities. If I could create a safe space in every
state, I would, a safe space for LGBT kids to go.
What led you to become involved in LGBTQ youth issues?
I’ve never been the type to sit back and let something
happen. So, when it was time to speak, I’ve always been
able to speak up for myself and other people. It’s been a
long journey. My doing this, it just happened, and I took
the responsibility and ran with it. I try to speak for all
LGBT kids if I can. Those that are silent are often the ones
contemplating suicide. So, I try to create change — that’s
what I aim to do.
Do you have any trans role models, celebrity or otherwise?
Yes, there’s a person on Instagram, his name is
SteroidBeyonce, and I like him so much because he’s both
masculine and feminine. I think people get too hung up
on gender norms, what’s supposed to be for boys and
what’s supposed to be for girls. They don’t pay attention
to what their kids really like or who they really are. They
just want them to fit in. There are so many simps — I call
them simps, for simple minded people — in the world, and
there’s no need for that. You can find out anything you
want; all you have to do is Google it or YouTube it. You can
learn about trans people by hearing people tell their transition
stories. So, I just think [those who aren’t informed]
don’t want to learn. And you don’t have to want to learn,
but you will respect my pronouns.
So, what do you think about the recent drama surrounding
some homophobic and HIV-stigmatizing comments
made by rapper DaBaby?
He’s been canceled for me a while ago. He’s been doing
things like what he said during that festival; it’s not
new. Rappers that act like that are not new. I don’t understand
why it took this for him to get canceled.
There was a time when he knocked one of his
fans on stage, a girl. He should have been cancelled
long ago. His apology video was bullshit — I
put nothing past him, especially since he hangs
with Lil Boosie, who had so much mean stuff to
say about Dewayne Wade and Gabrielle Union’s
[trans] daughter.
DaBaby was raised in Charlotte, and the impact
of religion is a big thing in the south. Are you religious?
If so, how have you been able to reconcile
your identity with your religion?
I practice Buddhism. Tibetan Buddhism. I know
a lot of queer people that practice and do yoga.
Through Buddhism I’ve learned how to become
one with myself to achieve Nirvana. Nirvana is
another word for enlightening, finding peace, happiness.
So, I’m okay.
Outside of the peace you find in practicing
Buddhism, is there anyone in particular in your
life that has supported you? Maybe a role model
or a mentor that you’ve learned any valuable
lessons from?
Yes, James Rice III. I met him at Time Out Youth when
I was 18. He works there. He’s helped me from the
beginning of my transition, and he introduced me to
Shaq Clarke, my Housing Administrator. She helped
me get housing and taught me a lot about budgeting
and other things.
James has been more of a father figure to me
than my actual dad, though he’s in my life but doesn’t
do nuttin’. James taught me that many of the feelings
that I have are okay. He taught me that it’s okay to be
angry. He’s always told me that he’s going to accept
me for who I am and what I come with, and that he’s
always going to love me for who I am.
Wow! It’s wonderful that you have such supportive
people like them in your life. The world is
changing. When you think about the lives of the trans
community of color 25 years from now, what do you
think things might look like?
I think everyone is gonna’ wanna’ look like trans and nonbinary
people because it’s the style, though they don’t
want the life [many trans and non-binary people live], like
a trend. I could see that. Androgynous looks are already
becoming fashionable.
What’s a typical day like in the life of Peyton-Lamire?
I go to work around 11:00 a.m. at an uptown restaurant,
my shift ends around 4:00 or 5:00 p.m., I’m a host. When
I get off, I go home, play with my dog and try to ground
myself. I put my feet in the grass and try to unwind fully
with a little bit of nature. Once I go in the house, I try to
eat something healthy, like salad with chicken, berries
and pecans, shower and meditate for as long as I feel like
I need to. Depends on the type of day. My happy place is
sleeping to thunder and rain. Being an introvert, I think
I enjoy more alone time than lots of people, so I fill time
with painting or going to a movie by myself. I’ve learned
that I don’t have to be around people to feel accepted. I
work at a job where there are a lot of people, so I really
need to use my downtime as self-care time. My company
is the best company.
What makes you smile?
Seeing others happy and knowing that I put that smile on
your face.
Any advice for trans or non-binary kids navigating the
difficult journey of living as their authentic selves?
I’d tell them, you are not crazy, you are exactly who you
say you are. Who others say you’re supposed to be is
not important. You can transition. It is possible, and
even if you don’t transition, you are valid, you are loved
and you can be you.: :
Aug. 20-Sept. 2, 2021 qnotes 19