Grey Bruce Boomers Fall 2021

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LIFESTYLE by April Taylor Before you begin If you are recently divorced or widowed, it may be wise to grieve your loss and sort out your life somewhat before you tackle dating. You’ll know when you’re ready. First, make a detailed list of your strengths and what you have to offer. Write out clearly what you want your life to look like, whether you want to travel the world or have a quiet life with time to spend with the grandkids. Be specific. Write a list of your interests and hobbies, and any personality traits that you find attractive in a person. Ask yourself if there are any traits that are non-negotiable for you. Again be specific. Another thing to consider is how far you are willing to drive. This is important if you are looking for something long term. Do you want someone local or close to town or are you OK if your match is in another country? Writing your profile With the information you gathered, begin to fill out your profile on the site of your choice. Note that some sites are directed to over-50s, while other sites are for all ages. Some sites charge a fee while others are free. When writing your profile, be positive and upbeat. Present yourself authentically. Don’t lie about who you are, your age, weight, financial status. In fact, I would not even mention money. Present yourself in a positive, honest light. If you are looking for a serious long-term relationship, begin with being honest. For example, I don’t enjoy sports. If I had said I liked sports because I think men do, I may have attracted someone but I might have had to watch Sunday afternoon football until the end of my days. Or I would have had to admit I don’t actually like sports, and he could have felt deceived. Also, say a little about what you are looking for in a mate. Be realistic. By the time we have reached this point in life, we all have some baggage, we have made mistakes, we have had wonderful moments and we’ve maybe had our heart broken. This is the beauty of life. Again, be honest. For example, if you’re looking for an outgoing guy who loves to go to parties and events or looking for a lady who is content with a quiet life and enjoys life’s simple pleasures, it’s a good idea to mention any deal breakers here. If you can’t tolerate something such as smoking, having children, drinking, etc., it’s better to make that known right from the start. Keep an open mind This is important. Before you say someone isn’t your type, give them an honest chance. She might look different from your previous partners, or he may have lived a different lifestyle than you. Remember, we are more than our outside appearance. That person who you think is not your type might turn out to be fun and interesting. The goal is to find someone and make each other happy. How it works Create your profile on the site you choose. Be sure to add current pictures. Don’t be tempted to post pics from 10 years ago when you were going to the gym every day. Post several photos and don’t forget to smile. Answer the questions such as are you looking for male or female, what age and location? Peruse the profiles of different people who pop up in your category. It’s like a big catalog of men and women. Then, when you see a profile you like, send a message telling them you read their profile and you like what you read. Maybe add that you too love dinner parties and like to travel, if they highlighted that in their profile. Surprisingly some people don’t read the profile and look solely at the picture. Read the profile! Also, I found it frustrating when someone would send a message saying merely hello. Show the person that you are interested enough to read their profile and form a proper message. Respond to the messages you receive and be polite. Engage in the conversation. Say something about yourself but don’t forget to ask about them — there’s no bigger turn-off than a self-centered person. Once you’ve chatted online, maybe it’s time to exchange phone numbers. I think an actual telephone call is needed rather than texting because it’s always good to hear someone’s voice and how they speak. It gives you a better 6 • GREYBRUCEBOOMERS.COM
y April Taylor LIFESTYLE idea of what the person is like. If all goes well, it becomes time to meet. You’ve both agreed that you are interested enough to meet, so I suggest going for a walk or on a coffee date. Make it short for the first date in case it becomes clear quickly that you’re not a match. Go somewhere quiet where it’s easy to talk. Be sure to have their contact information with you so if there is a mix-up you can call them. Remember to be smart and meet somewhere safe. Also be careful about how much personal information you share, because there’s always time for that if things get more serious. Trust your intuition if something doesn’t feel right and excuse yourself from the situation. Don’t stand the person up. If you change your mind, be polite and message the person and tell them. Be honest and don’t keep them hanging on. Treat people as you would like to be treated. We are all way past mind games. If you like the person but there were no sparks, they simply may not be the one, but they could become a good friend. Keep that option open because they may feel the same. Be open to talking about it. It is nice to have a friend to do things with. My husband is still friends 13 years later with two women he met online, and they are now my friends too. I highly recommend online dating. I would not have met Edward had I not given it a try. Be smart, be safe, be yourself, and enjoy the process! And don’t be offended if someone doesn’t respond, that’s just how it works. Give it a whirl! April Taylor is a freelance writer and hairstylist who loves to travel. Welcome to our neighbourhood! As the leading local telecommunications provider for over 110 years, we have it all... for YOU. 519-368-2000 brucetelecom.com TV • Internet Home Phone Cellular FALL <strong>2021</strong> • 7
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