The Shakerite VOL 91 ISSUE I

SUSTAINING FRIENDSHIPS
BEYOND SHAKER
If you ask anyone who
knows me, they know that
I love Shaker Heights,
Ohio. In high school I was
involved in The Marching
Band, Student Council,
MAC Sisters, SGORR and
many more. These activities
and composition of Shaker
generated opportunities to
cross social boundaries and
develop unique friendships.
Now, when I scroll
through social media, I see
the majority of my classmates
hanging with people that look just like
them. Moreover, it is rare to have a lingering high
school connection from someone outside your
social boundary. Often, I think, were we just doing
what we were “supposed” to do in Shaker? Were
these people really my friends? Were these friendships
performative, so we could tell how diverse
our high school was during our future endeavors?
I have some ideas to answer these questions,
but then I reflect on why and how I sustained my
friendship with a few friends outside of my social
boundaries. Here are a few reasons:
Our parents crossed social boundaries with us.
I grew up in the Moreland neighborhood, but
was bussed to Mercer for elementary school. Even
though our school was diverse, there was no diversity
in the neighborhoods we lived in. When I think
of one of my white friends I have today, I also think
of how our parents developed a deep relationship
with each other. Often, we would attend each other’s
church, carpool together or have family meals
together. This allowed us to have a deeper relationship
beyond just sharing homework and being in
the same club.
Tiara Sargent SGORR Adviser
We continue to cross social
boundaries.
One of my closest
friends, who will probably
be in my wedding, is the
definition of crossing social
boundaries and not expecting
me to assimilate to her
social boundaries. I attended
an all-Black university, and
she did not mind exploring
D.C. with my college friends
or going to a Caribbean
wine festival with us. These
simple gestures are a great display of how she
honors my culture and appreciates who I am as an
individual.
Effective Leadership Academy
We have the hard conversations.
Over the past year, I have had some hard
conversations with my White friends about race relations.
There were awkward moments, teary eyes
and many pauses to do some self-reflection. However,
during these dialogues I could tell they were my
friend not because it was the “right” or “cool” thing
to do. It showed me they were willing to step out of
their day-to-day comfort zone to have a better understanding
of the struggles their friend has. More
significantly, with permission, they continued the
conversations past those moments to ensure their
actions were anti–racist.
I may not have the entire recipe for how to sustain
a relationship that crosses social boundaries
beyond Shaker, but we can start with the few ingredients
mentioned above. Remember, to encourage
your families to cross social boundaries with you,
stay committed to crossing social boundaries and
embrace the difficult conversations.
Spring 2021 THE SHAKERITE 59