Grey-Bruce Kids Winter 2021/22

The kids know that when they come to visit we always have slow
mornings, waffles, Nana’s butter tarts, and cookouts. We do our
best to follow bedtime routines and homeschooling agenda that
their parents have set in place.
Every day is an opportunity to start a new tradition. We are
going to start having “world cuisine and traditions” days, where
we will learn things throughout the time they are with us about
a chosen country. What do they eat there, what do kids play
there, what traditions do they have and how do they live? It will
be fun to do some cooking together with ingredients they might
not have an opportunity to try otherwise.
Being a grandparent isn’t just about fun and games though. It
does come with a learning curve.
It means taking a step back and respecting that you are not the
parent and what that means when it comes to boundaries and
different perspectives. Keeping an open and positive dialogue
with the child’s parents is key to developing a supportive
environment.
There have been times we have raised our eyebrows, but it is
important to recognize that our ideas of child-rearing might
be different than theirs. We’ve let our daughter and son-in-law
explore what works for them and develop their own parenting
THINGS YOU CAN DO TO CULTIVATE
A MEANINGFUL RELATIONSHIP
WITH YOUR GRANDKIDS
• Read a chapter book together.
• Ask what they would like to learn about.
• Have them teach you how to play their
favourite game.
• Plan a trip... imaginary or real.
• Cook together... share a family recipe or
find a new one to add to the collection.
• Build a fire and have a cookout.
• Play charades over Zoom.
• Go on a scavenger hunt.
• Watch a movie or documentary about
the Earth and animals.
• Do outdoor activities like archery, hiking,
cycling, and tree identification.
• Plant a garden.
• Learn a new skill together such as knottying
or making jam.
• Let them help with everyday chores
and activities.
• Get dirty, jump in puddles and dance in
the rain.
• Share your stories of growing up.
style, knowing they will ask for our opinion or advice when
needed. We don’t have to agree, but being respectful and having
a clear understanding of their style will allow you to develop
your own way of grandparenting, one that will compliment
theirs.
Being their cheering squad and acknowledging their struggles
and triumphs as a parent is sometimes all they need... not
your opinion. It’s also important for parents to know what
boundaries, if any, the grandparent might have, and to be clear
on what they see as their role.
Asking grandparents to watch the kids every once in a while is
OK but be careful not to take advantage of their generosity...
they have already raised their family and who knows, maybe
they now have the time to pursue interests they didn’t previously.
We cherish the relationships we have nurtured with our
grandkids. If, for whatever reason, that is not possible for you,
then get creative and seek out alternatives. Adopt a senior
friend or neighbour that your child can develop a grandparent
relationship with. Find them a common interest or maybe
something they would like to learn from each other. Schedule
video chats if they are unable to get together.
If there is one thing we’ve learned as grandparents and can pass
along is to slow down. Spend more time together exploring and
experiencing the world. Don’t fill your calendar up with group
activities. Time is so important and, as grandparents, we usually
have this luxury, but just by taking one thing off your calendar
and spending that time together, planned or not, will allow you
to be more in the moment. We have also learned that being
active and healthy makes it a lot easier to keep up with our
grandkids, and opens the door to try new things together.
Who says Nana can’t go ziplining in Costa Rica with her
seven-year-old granddaughter? Or how about physical work like
stacking wood with Ba? We have learned to be more flexible and
tolerant, and not worry so much about crossing things off the
‘to do’ list. If we are in the middle of something and Gracie or
Gavin have a question or want to show us something, we stop
and become invested in this gift of a moment with them.
Being a grandparent has been life-changing. Sometimes it can
be frustrating and sometimes it can be challenging, but it is
filled with love, snuggles, and giggles. Be kind to yourself when
it comes to navigating this new role, because you are learning as
you go.
It’s not always what you expect it to be, but if you remember
that the relationship is more important than “the rules,” you will
be rewarded with a relationship that will continue to be special
as your grandchild grows.
My greatest hope is that my grandkids will still want to spend
time at Camp BaNana, exploring and sharing stories when they
are teenagers and adults. GBK
SANDE and RICK IRWIN are self-proclaimed foodies, homesteaders
and adventure travellers, living in rural Bruce County. Sharing their love
for life brings them great joy.