24 Seven December 2021

W
What’s your gut reaction when
someone judges you? Do you get angry, feel bad about
yourself, internalize the comments, or change course to avoid
further judgement? What if you had an effective strategy to
help release upset and overcome the fear being judged?
Words have power. They can leave you feeling hurt and
vulnerable. Other peoples’ judgement can negatively impact
your opinion of yourself. You may begin doubting yourself
and your decisions. Confidence crumbles and ultimately
leads to fear of being judged, fear of making mistakes or fear
of taking risks - this can negatively impact your relationships,
jobs, social lives and of course, your self-esteem. It’s one of
the foremost reasons I see people shy away from following
their dreams or using their unique talents. Fear of being
judged keeps people from feeling free to be their authentic
selves, which keeps them from enjoying life to its fullest and
stepping out to make the important contributions they’re
destined to.
Here are some proven tips to help overcome this very real
fear.
Learn your strengths and limitations. Once you’re clear
on them, you’re less likely to be affected by what others say.
Judgements become somewhat irrelevant when you know
what you’re capable of. If someone uses unkind words about
something you’ve worked on, and you know it’s not one of
your strongest talents, you can more easily dismiss it.
Avoid looking for approval from others and be content
with self-approval. Start celebrating all your successes, big
and little, and really feel how good self-approval feels. Or
tackle something you’ve been avoiding. Once it’s done, stop
and notice how satisfying it feels. Starting or deepening a
spiritual practice helps too. Spending time alone reflecting
or journaling on your strengths inspires feeling good about
yourself, your successes and your decisions and bolsters you
against harsh judgements. This kind of consistent, positive
reassurance helps overcome the fear of being judged.
When you feel judged ask yourself: Was that person well
enough informed to judge you fairly? Were their comments
true? Do you truly value their opinion? Sadly, sometimes
people are jealous of your achievements, and may judge you
harshly to make themselves feel better.
Be very aware of your inner critic. That little voice in
your head can become deafening so it’s important to
recognize when negative thoughts creep in. If you let others’
judgements join your own negative self-talk, it’s much harder
to deflect it. Instead of letting it cloud your own perceptions,
remember and appreciate your value and worth.
Don’t dwell on the harsh words. Even though it hurts
in the moment, the memory will fade more quickly if you
don’t ruminate over it. What we focus on expands, so be
sure you’re not giving priority to the negative thoughts!
Remember, sometimes things just come out wrong. Give
others the benefit of the doubt and realize they probably
weren’t intentionally trying to hurt you.
Here’s an effective strategy to quickly deflect hurtful
judgements in the moment and keep yourself from
internalizing them. Create and practice an empowering
phrase to avoid getting offended. It might sound something
like: “Well that’s very interesting! What a unique perspective
you bring; I see the situation differently but really, thanks
for your input.” Remember, everyone has an opinion. Some
you’ll agree with and some you won’t. Your opinion of
yourself and your work is the most important.
It’s valuable to recall times you’ve taken risks that paid off in
a positive way. Remind yourself of all your accomplishments,
especially when you’re embarking on something outside of
your comfort zone or you’re not as sure of yourself as you
would otherwise be. Release judgements and do what feels
right for you despite what others may say because being true
to yourself will always pay off!
About The Author
LINDA MITCHELL
Linda Mitchell is a board-certified coach, speaker, intuitive healer
and LMT. She empowers people who are stuck, overwhelmed or
desiring change to release their struggle, gain clarity, balance
and freedom as they move through challenges and transitions
and step into their next meaningful role.
To Learn More Visit:
www.LivingInspiredCoaching.com