The Veteran Issue 5

During deployment on HMS Queen Elizabeth, there was an
inspection by a visiting admiral.
All Navy and Marine personnel lined up in formation for the
admiral. While walking past several Sailors asking questions
and receiving appropriate answers, the admiral stopped in
front of a Marine and asked, “What’s the first thing you do
after hearing “Man Overboard?” Without hesitation, the
Marine asked, “Officer or Enlisted?”
MILITARY HUMOUR
OFFICER MATERIAL
Private Smith wasn't much good in
the field, but he passed his written
exams with flying colors and,
eventually, received word he was
qualified for officer training at
Sandhurst His sergeant brought
him the news.
"Well, Smith, I hear you're going to
Sandhurst. I'm sure you'll make a
fine officer, and that's the way it
should because you'll never be a
soldier."
THE ENEMY
War was on and the captain was
attempting to rally his troops on the
eve of a big offensive.
"Out there," said the captain, "is your
enemy. The man who has made your
life miserable, who is working to
destroy you; the man who has been
trying to kill you day after day
throughout this war."
Private Johnson jumped to his feet.
"My God; the cook's working for the
other side!"
I just saw a Facebook status.........lonely man seeks
wife ......... he had 256 replies, all of them saying"You
can have mine!"
How many Military policemen does it take to throw a
drunk Squaddie down stairs?
None, he fell.
Army rules: If it moves, salute it. If it doesn’t move,
pick it up. If you can’t pick it up, paint it.
A sign posted on the wall of an Army
cookhouse read:
"Don't Waste Food -- Food Will Win the
War."
Beneath these words someone had scrawled:
"That's fine, but how do we get the enemy to
eat here?"